Written by: Marc Singer, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
‘Coaching is just for people who are struggling right? It’s for people stuck, fraught with anxiety and worries. People with problems. I’m okay, I don’t need a coach.’ A common assumption many people make. Often made by people who don’t truly understand what coaching is.
Even now, four years after I graduated as a professional coach, friends of mine still say, ‘how’s your ‘counseling’ business going?’. The assumption is that I listen to people with problems. Comments like, ‘how do you protect your own energy when working with people who are depressed and low?’, underline this belief.
Well, I wouldn’t be very good at my job if my clients were constantly feeling depressed and low, would I! The truth is, I do not have to protect my energy, because all my sessions with clients end with both parties feeling highly energized and positive. They may well start with someone feeling a bit low or stuck, but they certainly do not end that way. The entire essence of coaching centers around having a solution-based focus as opposed to one of a focus on problems.
It's true that both therapy and counseling can have a draining impact on a person. I have experienced this first hand. You spend a lot of time focused on elements of yourself and the past which, quite frankly, you would rather not. It’s therefore normal to come away feeling drained and low. Yes, digging up and confronting past traumas has an important purpose, however, that is not what we focus on during coaching.
People who say, ‘I don’t need a mindset coach’, are doing one of two things. They are either performing consistently at their best in all areas of their life, and are completely fulfilled, every minute of every day, or they are assuming they know what a coach does, and get it confused with therapy and counseling.
Why is it that all the top performers in life, have coaches? Is it because they are all struggling? Of course, it isn’t. Top CEOs, sports stars, actors, you name it, they all have personal coaches. Reason being? They are high achievers, who wish to achieve more. They recognize that no one reached the top, and performed at their very best, without help to do so.
We can try to self-coach and believe me, I have tried myself, however, it's practically impossible to do so. Why? Because a coach helps us see past our own limiting beliefs, assumptions, and fears. They help us to see perspectives that previously we may not have been aware of. And help us to choose new ones which work for us.
Helping people to create self-awareness, vision, confidence, and self-belief is an important part of any good coach’s remit. Partnering with people step by step as they create and manifest their desired reality. It’s practically impossible for any of us to achieve that goal without help. In fact, we don’t even attempt to most of the time because we have already convinced ourselves it isn’t possible to do so. We create what’s called, ‘limiting beliefs, which we then accept as fact. Only, they are not facts, they are self-defeating perspectives.
It's true there are many different types of coaches and many different styles of coaching. However, a good coach will work with you to remove these hidden fears, limiting beliefs, assumptions, and interpretations that we make. Help you improve your self-awareness, confidence, and self-belief. Work with you to create a plan of action to actively stay on top of all the key areas of influence in your life. Ensuring that you are always performing optimally. And above all, a good coach holds you accountable to do the work necessary to consistently keep improving, the day on day.
Every single one of us has core areas that affect how we show up. If one or more of these areas is not where it should be in terms of your core energy, by that we mean your thoughts and feelings, then you won’t ever be at your very best. And you only ever see things from a limited perspective. These core influencing areas are our mental, emotional, physical, social, environmental, and spiritual influencers. Each one interacts with the others. Increasing your overall core energy results in you being much more aware and in control of how you choose to think, feel, and show up in any given scenario. Giving you complete control over your actions, and your results.
Working with a coach who works holistically helps you to identify the leaks in your energy. Identifying the subconscious thoughts which drain you, lower your mood, and result in counterproductive actions. When we identify these, we can do something about them and change them. That means working on plans and strategies which help you to increase your overall energy, in the moment. Removing draining, counterproductive thoughts and emotions, with ones that are productive and constructive. Often, we don’t know what it is that drains us.
That is why coaching is so powerful. Because it enables us to shed light on ways of thinking and beliefs and attitudes which have previously held us back. So, when someone says to me, they don’t need coaching, it tells me that they have settled in life for what they have now, and don’t believe they can do any better. It may be the case that people will study self-help books and watch an array of self-help videos and programs. We tell ourselves, ‘Why to waste money on a coach when I can learn to do it myself. Only to then wonder a while later why nothing is changing at the speed or level they had hoped for. Learning to use the law of attraction and manifest what you want is a good example of this.
It's normal for us to want to create our dream life. We can all visualize what we truly desire from life. And yet how many of us truly believe we can create that vision? Believing that you can is the key. Without the belief, the visualization part is pointless. A coach helps you create the belief. They assist you while you create your vision, and then remove any limiting subconscious beliefs that block your way forward. Stamping out fears, worries, and anxieties, and step by step create the life you truly want.
Ultimately going on to live your dream existence, in the moment, as you bring the life that you choose into existence. I say to anyone who says, ‘I don’t need a coach’, ‘how true is that belief for you, really?’. And, ‘how might that belief limit you?’. Because that is exactly what that is, a limiting belief. And telling yourself you don’t need help to optimize all areas of your life and increase all-around productivity and performance, only serves to restrict your options and ability to do so. The reality is, that we would all benefit from hiring a coach. Whether you believe you need one or not.
Marc Singer, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Marc is a highly trained professional coach, a graduate of (IPEC) the institute of Professional Excellence in Coaching. After being badly bullied at school, Marc became involved in a gang full of violence and drugs. Although having enjoyed a great upbringing and from a loving family, he went off the rails. Having moved on from that life, he found himself in a situation one night that would change his life forever. Imprisoned for life for a crime he didn’t commit, he embarked upon an incredible journey of change. Tragically having lost all of his family whilst in prison, Marc found the strength to rebuild his life, secure his freedom, and build an amazing career. He now helps others create the life they desire and become the very best versions of themselves. Currently authoring his first book, his life story, he also coaches one-to-one in groups and does inspiring speaking arrangements motivating others to overcome their own barriers to success. In fact, he was recently invited back to the prison he was in, but this time not as an inmate but as a speaker. His story is unique, tragic, and shocking, but ultimately evidence that with the right mindset and approach to life, you really can achieve absolutely anything!
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