Brainz Magazine Exclusive Interview
Catherine Cabrera, owner, founder, and mental health therapist of Inner Strength Counseling, LLC, and newly renowned international bestselling author of My Mess is My Message II, is committed to supporting people living with anxiety, people-pleasing, perfectionism, and other mental health challenges. Inspired by her lived experience with anxiety and toxic relationships, Catherine strives to help her clients heal and find joy and prosperity through curiosity and compassion. She spent many years researching how various experiences impact the brain and the interconnection between thoughts, emotions, and behavior patterns. After rediscovering her true identity and finishing her graduate degree in Mental Health Counseling, Catherine set out to help others heal and discover their inner strength.
Combining psychology, research, and lived experience, Catherine facilitates her one-on-one sessions with the intention of learning about her clients - their experiences, hobbies, support systems, etc. - to tailor the therapeutic space to build on their strengths and interests, helping ensure the long-term success of her clients. Catherine utilizes curiosity, compassion, and a healthy dose of humor to help her clients learn more about themselves and build a healthy relationship with themselves and their emotions, highlighting their individual strengths to build confidence along the way.
Can you share more about your personal experience and journey that led you to become a therapist?
My desire to become a therapist originated long before I really knew what a therapist was - I met with a therapist as a child when my parents got divorced. I didn’t know what was happening, but as a child, I enjoyed that she played games with me every week! As I grew up and began my teenage years, I was known for being the friend people knew they could tell anything to. They knew there would be no judgment and I wouldn´t tell a soul unless they were at risk of getting hurt.
It was in my teenage years that my experience with mental health challenges began - I experienced depression stemming from being bullied for my size. Although I was never diagnosed, I later learned that at sixteen, I was living with an eating disorder fueled by my depression and an emotionally abusive stepfather. Things gradually got worse through college, but someone I was dating at the time encouraged me to weight restore and take care of my body. That relationship continued through the beginning of my graduate school experience, ending after many months of emotional abuse, panic attacks, infidelity, and completely losing sight of who I was.
A year later, I began dating someone who I’d met in college and we were together for two years when he enlisted in the military. I knew what I was getting into when it came to the military lifestyle, but what I didn’t sign up for was the year of gaslighting, invalidation, infidelity, and narcissistic abuse that came with it. By this point, I had already started my career as a therapist, but when that relationship ended, I refused to let anyone make me feel so empty, unworthy, and broken again. This is when I made the best decision of my career - I created my private practice, built a website, and made it my mission to help people who have had similar experiences rebuild their lives and build their confidence to be themselves unapologetically.
How has your own experience influenced your approach to therapy?
Having been through a variety of my own mental health challenges, the common theme I noticed was how loud my inner critic was and the lack of empathy and compassion for myself, despite the abundance I gave to everyone else. My goal as a therapist has always been to be the person I needed - compassionate, loving, telling me how it is, and supportive - while bringing humor and my personality into it. How can I preach being authentic and true to yourself if I don’t practice it myself? So that’s exactly what I do, and I feel it’s helped clients feel welcome and at ease in the therapy space, which is essential for having difficult conversations and doing the hard work that’s required for healing. I also know firsthand how challenging it can be to feel trapped by your own thoughts, so I’m genuine when I show my clients compassion, which helps them receive constructive criticism or challenges from me too - they know it comes from a place of genuine care and desire for them to achieve their goals.
In your approach to therapy, you mentioned bringing creativity, humor, and personal interests into the therapeutic space. How do you tailor your counseling methods to the unique needs and interests of each client?
In my initial session with clients, I ask the standard questions about mental health history, support systems, etc., but I also ask clients about their passions, hobbies, and what brings them joy. I feel these details are just as important because those are the aspects of their lives that are likely to aid in long-lasting changes and healing. For example, I have a client who really enjoys the arts - music, dancing, singing, literally everything you could think of! So we incorporated these things into her healing journey so that she would remain interested in doing the work she wanted to do, but also have an element of familiarity to the process.
Humor can be therapeutic as is, but can also foster a sense of connection with others, and I’ve found this to be true in the therapeutic space too. I typically gauge the client’s personality in the first session, while also demonstrating a casual approach to therapy - I laugh at myself if I stumble over my words, reference pop culture and memes in analogies I use, and laugh when they make a joke. I’ve found this helps clients feel more comfortable, which helps them feel more willing to have difficult conversations about trauma, anxiety, or anything else they may be experiencing.
I approach my clients as a human being - there’s more to them than the challenges they’re facing, and I believe that’s something that sets me apart from a lot of other therapists. I want to help build my clients up and support them so they can get to the point where they don’t need to see me anymore!
What strategies or therapeutic modalities do you find most effective in fostering lasting positive change for your clients?
In working with my clients over the years, I’ve learned that it depends on the client -some are more receptive to cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and focus on the interconnection of thoughts, emotions, and behaviors to elicit change, while others are more receptive to dialectical behavior therapy (DBT). DBT focuses on a person’s emotion regulation, interpersonal skills, distress tolerance, and mindfulness to aid in the healing process. I’ve found DBT concepts with sprinkles of CBT to be the most effective with my clients, as my individual approach to therapy involves being curious about your thoughts and emotions to better understand yourself.
This helps the client make a decision on how they want to behave in various situations, rather than assuming the thoughts or emotions need to change. Our thoughts are immediate - we don’t choose which thoughts pop into our minds, but we do have the power to decide if we engage with the thought or not. The same goes for our emotions - we have emotions for a reason and their intention is actually to help us, even if they don’t always know how. They’re like a family member who wants to help you feel better but doesn’t know what to do or what to say. So we spend time exploring the emotional experience and the underlying messages they can take from them, while also taking time to consider what their values are and how they want to move forward. I leave all of those decisions to the client because, at the end of the day, it’s their life, not mine.
In utilizing this approach, I’ve been granted the opportunity to observe the progression of compassion my clients show themselves, which is a really cool experience - they often come to me with a super loud inner critic but when they end therapy, they’re giving themselves the empathy, compassion, and love they would only give to others before. It’s such a rewarding feeling to see the progression first-hand!
Can you walk me through the process of a free 20-minute consultation? What can a potential client expect during this initial interaction?
The twenty-minute consultation is the first opportunity for the client and me to get an idea of if we’ll be a good fit for each other. I’m by no means an expert in everything, and I won’t be the best fit for every person. Like with my sessions, I keep the consultation very casual, especially because I realize how nerve-wracking it can be for clients to talk to an entirely new person and tell me what they’re struggling with, and I acknowledge that! I thank them for their vulnerability and willingness to speak with me, regardless of whether they decide to schedule or not.
Aside from that, I simply ask what it is the person is looking for and what is drawing them to therapy now - I always ask ‘why now’. I’ve found a lot of people will contemplate reaching out for therapy but won’t until something happens to push them, so I want to know what that something is! I explain what therapy with me looks like and how I approach things without all the psycho-babble so the person knows what they’ll be getting with me - I demonstrate full transparency with how I operate as a therapist and as a practice owner. I also give the person time to ask any questions they may have for me, emphasizing the importance of expressing themselves and having the information they need to make the best decision for them. Some people will request to schedule an appointment right then, while some prefer to take time to think about our conversation. Either way, I remind them that I’m always happy to answer any questions and provide support however I can to help them get the help they’re looking for, regardless of if it’s with me.
Your website mentions that therapy sessions are typically held weekly but can be adjusted based on individual needs. How do you collaborate with clients to determine the frequency that would be most beneficial for their progress?
I let clients know that initially, I do feel it’s best to meet weekly to help build trust and familiarity with each other. Beyond the first several weeks, I periodically check in with the client to see how they feel we’re doing - are we hitting on the things they want to discuss, are there things they’d like to adjust, etc. It’s in these check-ins that we evaluate the frequency of sessions. Most of the clients I’ve worked with or continue to work with prefer to maintain weekly sessions; however, some prefer to shift to every other week. This could be for financial reasons, schedule challenges, wanting extra processing time between sessions, etc.
The frequency discussion also comes up when I’ve noticed significant and maintained progress - I call it ‘graduating’ to a lesser frequency. As I mentioned previously, the goal of therapy is to help the client get to a place in their life where they don’t need to meet with me anymore - of course, they can if they want to, but they don’t feel they need to anymore. So it’s a natural progression to “step down” to a lesser frequency when the changes they’ve wanted to see are present and maintained. The same goes in the other direction as well - if a client starts struggling more and is having more challenges in their life, they’re more than welcome to increase the frequency, and I’ll actually mention what I’m seeing from them to initiate this conversation.
Could you share a success story or a particularly impactful moment from your
experience as a therapist that highlights the positive outcomes achievable through your approach?
There are a few that come to mind, but there’s one moment in particular that stands out. I was working with a client who was living with an eating disorder for the majority of her life. She and I had been working together for several months when she gave birth to her first child - she was obviously very excited to be a new mother and to finally have her child in the world, but she was also nervous about how her eating disorder would respond now that she didn’t have “permission” from it to look and eat the way she had been during the pregnancy.
A month or two after she gave birth, I received an email from her with a photo of her child, thanking me for supporting her, helping her learn more about herself, teaching her how to approach herself with compassion, and challenging the eating disorder. The part that makes me tear up to this day - she thanked me for helping her become the mother she wanted to be for her child. I never expect clients to thank me or give me words of encouragement - that’s not what it’s about - but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t make me feel so proud and thankful to be able to do what I do.
My job allows me to be a part of peoples’ journeys from their lowest, most vulnerable points, all the way to the achievement of their goals. I’m beyond lucky and grateful for the opportunity to share those moments with my clients, no matter how big or small they may seem.
For individuals considering therapy, what advice or insights would you offer to help them make the most out of their therapeutic journey?
I’ll share what I needed to hear when I was going through my own challenges - there is never going to be a perfect time. I know the mental acrobatics that comes from avoiding making that step, but allow yourself to receive the help you deserve. Another important point is no two therapists are the same. If you start with a therapist and aren’t finding it helpful, be honest with them. They won’t know how to change their approach if they don’t know how you’re feeling, and if they say they aren’t a good fit for you, there’s another therapist out there who is! Therapy isn’t a ‘one size fits all’ and you deserve the help you’re looking for.
Lastly, it’s a bit of a hard truth, but the healing journey is TOUGH. You will be triggered. You will be uncomfortable. You will learn things about yourself that make you angry, sad, annoyed, etc. But honestly, as a therapist and as a human being, I promise you the work is worth the freedom from whatever it is that’s consuming you right now.
Thank you, Catherine!
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