Written by: Latissia "Coach T" Cobbs, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
How many times have you immediately regretted an emotional outburst or wished you could take a decision back because it was emotionally charged? If you have not stopped counting yet, you are in great company! You are one of the humans. We are all emotionally childish, in some way. We can also improve it. Here are 5 indicators that you are emotionally childish:
1. You Experienced Childhood Trauma
You experienced traumatic experiences in your childhood. To survive that level of trauma, you tucked that entire event back far away in your mind so that you could forget it forever.
Only, you didn’t forget it. It lingers and filters thru every interaction, every relationship, and every reminder of that event. You realize that you never even attempted to address that trauma at all. You stopped growing emotionally at the point it happened, so now you are easily triggered when anything reminds you of it.
If I am speaking to you, then It’s time to grow up. You are no longer in the situation that traumatized you all that time before. It is only the memory of that trauma that you are experiencing.
Action:
Assess your past trauma with TODAY’s mindset to start a new path to healing. You are not the same person that you were, then. You have grown so much beyond your past traumas. Trust in today's “you”, to lead you toward actions that move you forward.
2. You Think Its Someone Else’s Job to Fix Your Feelings
When you were young and someone hurt your feelings, the adults made them apologize. Suddenly that dried up all your tears and you were miraculously better.
As an adult, you still wait for an apology when someone hurts your feelings. You are responsible for your feelings. Others are responsible for theirs. Apologies are nice, but they are optional. Move forward, with or without the apology. Do it because moving forward, is the key objective.
Action:
Focus on the actions that you can control. Do the work to forgive them and more importantly, yourself so you can grow and evolve!
3. You Refuse to Eliminate Distractions
Do you remember when we were in school, the adults would make us put all distractions away when it was time to learn? Do you remember how we used to fight that because it stopped us from having fun?
This is exactly how you are today. You like fun. Distractions are fun. Instagram scrolling, Facebook, Twitter, Netflix, and drinking with your friends. It's fun! Nothing is wrong with doing these things. They are just the things you have always run to, instead of facing your feelings. Now you are emotionally childish because you chose fun as a response to your emotions, instead of learning how to navigate your emotions.
Feel the pain. Experience fear and embarrassment. Sit in the shame and disappointment. Own it and grow thru it. Put the phone down. Turn the tv off. Eliminate the noise so you can hear God's voice.
4. You Still Think You Can Control Everything
You have so much evidence that you will experience ups and downs in your life, because of experiencing ups and downs in your life. Yet, every time you experience “downs” of life, like a child…you kick and scream “why is this happening to me? What did I do to deserve this“? As if you could have done something to control it or prevent it.
Life is not only about the experiences that make you feel good. They are about embracing all the experiences in life, including the ones that suck.
Acknowledge that half of your experiences in your life will absolutely suck. And half of your experiences will be amazing. Stop trying to control the outcome. Let go and focus on the next move. The sooner you accept that you can’t control everything, the sooner you will start focusing more on what you can control you. You are not a child anymore. you are responsible for your growth.
5. Your Friends Are Still Emotionally Childish
We covet our friendships! And for good reason! They make us feel like we belong. But when was the last time recently, that you assessed how you felt after you were with your friends? Do you feel energized? Tired? Empowered? Defensive? Thankful? Stressed?
Your friends and family are the ones you are most vulnerable with. Are you ensuring that you’re expressing those emotions with emotionally balanced people?
I just gave you 5 reasons why you are so emotionally childish. Keep in mind that... It could be the same for your friends and family. It’s time to limit how much of your energy you spend in areas of low return. Even if it's friends and family.
There is certainly a place for all your friends! But should the friends that subtract from your energy get the same amount of your time as the ones that add to it? It’s time to grow up and shine a spotlight on your friendships. Thank you for reading! Which points resonated with you the most?
Latissia "Coach T" Cobbs, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Coach T is an Entrepreneur, a Disabled Army Veteran, and a High Performance Coach who is passionate about teaching success-driven Entrepreneurs & Corporate Leaders to perform at their HIGHEST levels in leadership, by creating the strategic mindset required to perform at their HIGHEST levels in life. She is the CEO of Fyt 2 Live Coaching Services, a Professional Coaching Agency that enables highly motivated leaders to learn radical self-acceptance: partnering with them to uncover their inner power, helping them step out of the box they've always thought they belonged in, and embracing new standards for their lives.
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