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- 10 Tips On How To Empower Your Teen’s Confidence
Written by Cindy MacCormack, Parent-Teen Empowered Impact Coach Cindy MacCormack is a certified Parent-Teen Coach dedicated to empowering parents and guiding teens through the challenges of adolescence with practical strategies and empathy. With two teens of her own, Cindy has made it her mission to help teens thrive - one parent at a time. Do you ever notice your teen second-guessing themselves, even when they have so much to celebrate? It's completely normal for teens to grapple with confidence, especially in a world that constantly pits them against their peers. But don’t worry, confidence is a skill they can build with some support. In this article, you’ll discover 10 powerful strategies to help boost your teen's self-assurance, empowering them to tackle challenges with resilience and optimism. Whether they’re dealing with academic pressures, social worries, or just need a little reminder of their strengths, these tips will help them blossom into the confident, capable individuals you know they can be. What is confidence? Teen self-confidence is that inner belief in their abilities and self-worth, which is crucial for navigating the tricky waters of adolescence. During this time, teens face a slew of challenges—academic pressures, shifting social dynamics, and identity exploration—that can significantly impact their self-esteem. A solid sense of self-confidence can lead to resilience, helping teens approach challenges with a positive mindset and the willingness to take risks. Why is self-confidence important for teens? Self-confidence isn’t just a nice bonus; it’s essential for overall well-being and success. Confident teens are more likely to engage socially, excel in school, and develop the coping skills they need to tackle life’s challenges. When they believe in themselves, they can forge meaningful relationships, perform better academically, and bounce back from setbacks with a constructive attitude. Conversely, low self-confidence can hold a teen back, leading to anxiety, social withdrawal, and academic struggles. Building self-confidence, therefore, becomes a vital part of nurturing a healthy, well-rounded individual. What causes a lack of confidence in teens? Understanding the root causes of low self-confidence in our teens is key to addressing the issue effectively. Here are four factors that can contribute to a dip in your teen’s confidence: 1. Negative self-talk Many teens are their toughest critics. This internal dialogue often focuses on their perceived shortcomings, leading to a cycle of self-doubt. For instance, a teen might think, "I’m not good enough" or "I’ll never succeed," which can profoundly affect their willingness to take risks or try new things. Such negative self-talk can be fueled by unrealistic standards set by themselves or external pressures. Helping teens recognize and challenge these negative thoughts is essential for building their self-confidence. 2. Perfectionism Teens may set impossibly high standards for themselves, leading to feelings of failure when they don’t measure up. This mindset can prevent them from even attempting tasks they fear they won’t excel at, further limiting their experiences. It’s crucial to encourage a balanced view of success that values effort and growth over flawlessness. By fostering a culture of acceptance around mistakes, parents can help their teens develop a healthier relationship with achievement and self-worth. 3. Social comparisons With social media always in the mix, teens are bombarded with images and stories of their peers’ successes. This can lead to unhealthy comparisons and feelings of inadequacy. Seeing filtered snapshots of others’ lives can distort reality, making teens feel as if they are falling short. Parents can play a vital role by discussing the difference between online personas and real life, encouraging their teens to focus on their own journeys instead of measuring themselves against others. Creating an open dialogue about social media can help mitigate its negative effects on self-esteem. 4. Pressure High expectations from parents, teachers, and peers can create a tough environment for teens. The pressure to achieve academically or socially can lead to anxiety and a fear of failure, which significantly impacts self-confidence. It's essential for parents to communicate that it’s okay to make mistakes and that personal growth is a journey, not a race. By emphasizing balance and well-being over perfection, parents can help their teens navigate these pressures in a healthier way. Why struggles with confidence are normal for teens Teen confidence struggles aren’t just common—they’re part of the journey. During adolescence, teens experience constant changes in their bodies, social circles, and evolving sense of self. This whirlwind can often leave them feeling unsure of who they are and where they fit in, making dips in confidence completely normal. From exploring their identity to navigating peer pressure and academic demands, teens encounter various hurdles along the way. Identity exploration During adolescence, teens begin to question their beliefs, values, and aspirations. They may experiment with different identities while figuring out who they are, which can create confusion and self-doubt. Parents can support this exploration by providing a safe space for open dialogue about feelings and experiences, allowing teens to express themselves without fear of judgment. Peer influence The desire to fit in can lead teens to doubt their self-worth, especially if they feel different from their peers. Social dynamics can shift rapidly, making it tough for teens to find their place. Encouraging them to celebrate their individuality while fostering healthy friendships can help them navigate these social pressures. Academic and extracurricular pressure The competitive nature of school and extracurricular activities can create a high-stakes environment that challenges self-confidence. With the added pressure to excel, teens may fear failure, leading to anxiety and avoidance of new challenges. It’s crucial for parents to emphasize the value of effort and personal growth over simply achieving high grades or accolades. Signs your teen has low self-confidence Recognizing the signs of low self-confidence can help parents provide the support their teens need: Avoidance of challenges If your teen steers clear of situations that require them to step outside their comfort zone, it may indicate low self-confidence. This could show up as reluctance to participate in class discussions, join clubs, or engage in social events. Such avoidance can limit their opportunities for growth and reinforce negative beliefs about their abilities. Change in interests Withdrawing from hobbies or activities they once enjoyed can signal a lack of confidence. If your teen stops participating in sports, arts, or social gatherings, it’s essential to explore the underlying reasons together. Encouraging them to rekindle their interests can provide a pathway back to confidence. Frequent anxiety or worry Persistent feelings of anxiety about social situations or performance can be a sign of low self-esteem. If your teen expresses overwhelming worry about meeting expectations or social interactions, it’s crucial to validate their feelings while providing support. Open communication about their concerns can help them feel less isolated. Expressing self-doubt If your teen regularly questions their abilities or voices feelings of inadequacy, it’s essential to address these concerns. Encourage them to share their thoughts, and respond with empathy and understanding. This support can help challenge negative beliefs and replace them with a more positive outlook. 10 tips on how to empower your teen’s confidence 1. Encourage open communication Creating a safe space for your teen to express their thoughts and feelings fosters trust and emotional security. Open communication allows them to share their insecurities and struggles without fear of judgment. This supportive environment enables them to feel heard and understood, which is vital for their emotional well-being. Engage in active listening by giving your full attention and validating their experiences. Ask open-ended questions that encourage deeper conversations, allowing them to explore their feelings more thoroughly. By promoting transparency in your relationship, you not only strengthen your bond but also empower your teen to navigate challenges with confidence. 2. Promote goal-setting Guide your teen in setting realistic and achievable goals. Start by helping them identify their passions and interests, which can make the goal-setting process more engaging and motivating. Break larger tasks into smaller, manageable steps to make them less overwhelming and more attainable. This structured approach instills a sense of accomplishment as they achieve each milestone. Regularly review these goals together, celebrating their progress and adjusting as necessary. This practice not only fosters a growth mindset but also reinforces their belief in their abilities, gradually building their confidence. 3. Celebrate efforts over outcomes Shift the focus from results to effort, emphasizing that personal growth is a journey filled with ups and downs. Encourage your teen to appreciate the work they put into tasks rather than solely focusing on the end result. For instance, when they face a challenge, discuss the effort they invested and what they learned, regardless of the outcome. This perspective helps them develop resilience and a positive attitude toward setbacks. By normalizing mistakes as part of the learning process, you help reduce the pressure to be perfect. This shift cultivates a more resilient mindset, enabling your teen to approach future challenges with confidence. 4. Model confidence Show confidence in your own challenges to provide a powerful example for your teen. Share your experiences of overcoming obstacles and the lessons you learned along the way. This modeling demonstrates that confidence isn’t just an inherent trait but a skill that can be developed. Discuss your thought processes during tough times and how you navigate self-doubt, emphasizing the strategies you use to regain your confidence. Your transparency can inspire your teen to adopt similar approaches when faced with their own challenges. By modeling positive self-talk and resilience, you equip your teen with the tools to handle their insecurities. 5. Encourage participation in activities Support your teen in engaging in activities that align with their interests and strengths. Participation in extracurricular activities can provide opportunities for skill development and social interaction, both of which contribute to confidence building. Whether it’s sports, arts, or community service, these experiences allow them to discover new talents and form connections. Encourage them to step out of their comfort zone and try new activities, reinforcing the idea that growth often happens outside familiar environments. Celebrate their involvement, regardless of the outcome, to instill a sense of pride in their participation. This encouragement fosters a sense of belonging and achievement that can significantly boost their self-esteem. 6. Teach coping skills Equip your teen with effective coping strategies to navigate stress and challenges. Skills like mindfulness, deep breathing, or journaling can provide valuable tools for managing anxiety and building resilience. Encourage them to develop a personalized toolkit of coping mechanisms that resonate with them. Practice these skills together, making it a fun and engaging experience. By teaching them to manage their emotions and thoughts effectively, you empower them to approach challenges with a clearer mind and a stronger sense of self. This proactive approach can lead to increased confidence in their ability to handle difficult situations. 7. Foster positive relationships Encourage your teen to surround themselves with supportive peers and mentors who uplift and inspire them. Positive relationships can significantly impact self-esteem and provide a sense of belonging. Discuss the qualities of healthy friendships, emphasizing respect, encouragement, and mutual support. Help your teen identify individuals in their life who embody these traits and encourage them to nurture those connections. Foster an environment where they feel comfortable sharing their feelings with friends and mentors, promoting open dialogue. By surrounding themselves with positivity, your teen can develop a stronger sense of self-worth and confidence in their abilities. 8. Help them develop their interests Encourage your teen to explore their passions and interests, fostering a sense of identity and purpose. Support them in pursuing hobbies that resonate with them, whether it's sports, arts, music, or any other activity they enjoy. This exploration allows them to cultivate their skills and develop a sense of accomplishment, both of which contribute to confidence. Create opportunities for them to showcase their talents, whether through performances, exhibitions, or competitions. Celebrate their efforts and achievements, reinforcing the idea that pursuing interests can lead to personal growth and fulfillment. By investing time in activities, they love, your teen can build a stronger sense of self and confidence. 9. Provide constructive feedback When offering feedback, focus on constructive criticism that emphasizes growth and improvement. Instead of highlighting shortcomings, guide your teen on how to enhance their skills or approach challenges differently. Frame your feedback in a positive light, ensuring they feel supported rather than criticized. For instance, if they perform poorly in a test, discuss what they can do to prepare differently next time rather than solely pointing out their mistakes. This approach encourages a growth mindset, empowering them to view challenges as opportunities for learning. By providing constructive feedback, you foster an environment of support that reinforces their confidence in their ability to improve. 10. Encourage independence Fostering independence allows your teen to develop problem-solving skills and confidence in their decision-making abilities. Encourage them to take on responsibilities that require them to think critically and make choices. Start with small tasks, gradually increasing their complexity as your teen becomes more comfortable. Allow them to experience the natural consequences of their decisions, helping them learn from both successes and setbacks. Discuss their experiences afterward, reinforcing the idea that making mistakes is part of the learning process. By encouraging independence, you empower your teen to trust themselves and their capabilities, boosting their confidence in handling life’s challenges. Ready for quick wins in your parenting journey? Are you ready to support your teen in building lasting resilience and self-confidence with a smile? It can be challenging to navigate the ups and downs of adolescence, but you don’t have to do it alone – I’m here to help! Through my Parenting Success Blueprint you'll receive a personalized video packed with customized strategies to you and your teen that target the areas where you can see the biggest impact. From boosting your teen's confidence to reducing stress at home, I'll walk you through actionable steps to start making positive changes right away. Connect with me on Instagram or Facebook , and I’ll share all the details. Let’s team up to empower your teen for a brighter, more confident future! Follow me on LinkedIn , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Cindy MacCormack Cindy MacCormack, Parent-Teen Empowered Impact Coach Cindy MacCormack, founder of Cindy MacCormack Coaching, knows firsthand the challenges of parenting teens. As a certified parent & teen life coach with over 15 years in the wellness industry, Cindy blends professional expertise with her journey as a devoted mother of two teenagers. Her personal experience navigating the complexities of adolescence fuels her mission to empower parents of teens to rediscover the confidence and joy of parenting. Through Cindy MacCormack Coaching, she offers practical, implementable strategies to support struggling teens and foster confidence and resilience in families facing the ups and downs of teenage years.
- World On Your Shoulders? – 5 Things You Need To Know About Dealing With Shoulder Pain
Written by Vanessa Lloyd, Director and Head Therapist Vanessa Lloyd is a well-known recovery and performance specialist at Pro Active Manchester in the north of England. She works primarily with athletes and fitness fanatics of all levels implementing Pro Active's ProX Formula. She is renowned for getting top level results with technologies such as PEMF, Red Light, and Deep Tissue Acupuncture. Shoulder pain can feel like you're literally carrying the weight of the world. It can sneak up on you, a dull ache that turns into a sharp twinge, or it can be sudden and overwhelming. Left unchecked, it can become a constant burden that limits your ability to enjoy life and do the things you love. Whatever the case, shoulder pain impacts nearly every aspect of daily life, from the way you sleep to how you lift groceries or even hug a loved one. If you're dealing with this burden, you're not alone. Shoulder pain not only affects individuals at home but also has a significant impact in the workplace. Employees suffering from shoulder pain may experience reduced productivity, increased absenteeism, and a decline in overall job satisfaction. This is why HR and management should be proactive in addressing shoulder pain among staff. By promoting ergonomic workstations, encouraging regular movement, and supporting effective treatment options, companies can help reduce physical strain and prevent shoulder pain from escalating, ultimately enhancing both the mental and physical well-being of their employees while reducing absenteeism. 5 things you need to know about managing shoulder pain and finding relief 1. Understand the root cause Shoulder pain can arise from various causes: poor posture, overuse, injury, or underlying health conditions like arthritis. Understanding the root cause is the first step towards effective treatment. Consulting a healthcare professional, such as a physiotherapist, can help determine whether it's a rotator cuff injury, impingement, or something else entirely. The right diagnosis will guide the best treatment path, whether it's physical therapy, targeted exercises, or medication. 2. Movement is medicine While it might feel counterintuitive, gentle movement can help alleviate shoulder pain. Keeping the shoulder joint mobile helps maintain flexibility and prevent stiffness. Simple exercises like pendulum swings or shoulder stretches can make a big difference over time. However, it's important not to overdo it—rest when needed, but avoid prolonged immobilisation, which can lead to further issues like a frozen shoulder. 3. Improve your posture Bad posture is one of the most common culprits behind shoulder pain, especially for those who work at a desk all day. Rounded shoulders and slouched backs put stress on the shoulder joint and surrounding muscles. Taking the time to assess and correct your posture can significantly reduce shoulder discomfort. Set up an ergonomic workspace, sit with your back straight, and take breaks to stretch throughout the day. 4. Don't underestimate the power of heat, cold, and alternative therapies Heat and cold therapy are simple but effective remedies. Applying ice can help reduce inflammation, especially right after an injury, while heat can relax tight muscles and improve blood flow to the area. Alternating between hot and cold packs can also be beneficial, depending on your specific symptoms. Additionally, treatments such as Pulsed Electromagnetic Field (PEMF) therapy and deep tissue acupuncture have been shown to provide relief for some individuals. PEMF therapy works by using electromagnetic fields to promote healing and reduce inflammation, while deep tissue acupuncture can help release muscle tension and improve circulation. Listen to your body and find which treatment works best for you. 5. Get professional help if needed Persistent shoulder pain shouldn't be ignored. If you're experiencing severe pain, limited range of motion, or if the pain is interfering with your daily activities, it's time to see a healthcare professional. Physiotherapists can help create personalised rehabilitation programmes, and in some cases, imaging like an MRI may be required to better understand the issue. Ignoring persistent pain can lead to long-term problems, so it's important to seek help sooner rather than later. Shoulder pain can make even the simplest tasks challenging, but with the right approach, you can take steps towards relief and recovery. Remember, you don't have to live with constant pain. Whether it's improving your posture, incorporating gentle movement, or seeking professional guidance, you have options to lighten the burden on your shoulders—literally and figuratively. Companies can also provide services such as corporate massage and PEMF therapy to help alleviate shoulder pain among employees, contributing to a healthier and more comfortable work environment. Offering these services not only helps employees manage existing pain but also demonstrates a commitment to their overall well-being, fostering a more supportive and productive workplace. Take action today and start your journey towards a pain-free life. Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , LinkedIn or visit my website for more info! Read more from Vanessa Lloyd Vanessa Lloyd, Director and Head Therapist Vanessa Lloyd is a leader in recovery and performance in the north of England with her company Pro Active Manchester. Helping athletes and fitness fanatics of all levels to achieve peak performance and accelerate rehabilitation from injury. Using Pro Active's ProX Formula, Vanessa uses state of the art technologies such as PEMF, Red Light Therapy, and Deep Tissue Acupuncture to achieve top level results with her clients.
- How To Eat Healthy And Avoid Gaining Weight During The Holidays
Written by Agata Tiurmorezow, Eating Disorder Recovery Coach Agata Tiurmorezow works as Eating Disorder Recovery Coach. Agata after sufferring herself 20 years ago, earned a master's degree in Food Technology and Human Nutrition. Holidays are full of tasty treats, family meals, and parties, so it’s easy to overeat. But with some planning, you can enjoy the season without feeling guilty or gaining weight. Here are some simple tips to help you stay healthy and keep off extra pounds during the holidays. 1. Plan ahead Planning ahead helps you avoid last-minute unhealthy choices. Know your schedule: Look at your calendar and note when you’ll be around a lot of food. Plan to eat healthy on other days to balance things out. Avoid shopping while hungry: When grocery shopping, eat a snack first so you’re less likely to buy tempting holiday treats. 2. Pick treats you really love It’s okay to enjoy some holiday treats; just be mindful about it. Choose wisely: Instead of eating every dessert or snack, pick a few favorites and enjoy them. Watch portion sizes: Try a small serving of your favorite treat instead of a big one. This way, you get the taste without overloading on calories. Eat slowly: Take your time to enjoy each bite. Eating slowly helps you feel full with less food. 3. Eat healthy foods first Filling up on nutritious foods can help keep you satisfied and make you less likely to overeat. Start with veggies and proteins: Fill your plate with vegetables and lean proteins like chicken, turkey, or beans. These foods have fiber and protein that keep you full longer. Drink water: Staying hydrated can help you avoid mistaking thirst for hunger. Have a balanced breakfast: Start your day with a healthy breakfast, like eggs with whole-grain toast or oatmeal with fruit. A good breakfast can keep you energised and help prevent cravings. 4. Limit sugary drinks and alcohol Holiday drinks like hot chocolate and cocktails can add up quickly in calories. Stick to water or low-calorie drinks: Water with a slice of lemon or sparkling water is a good option. Be careful with alcohol: Alcohol can lower your self-control and make you eat more than planned. Try to set a limit, and drink water between each alcoholic drink. Watch out for sugary drinks: If you enjoy seasonal lattes or other sweet drinks, try to limit them or choose a smaller size. 5. Stay active Physical activity can help you burn extra calories and manage holiday stress. Add movement to your day: Take a walk, go for a jog, or do a quick workout at home. Make it social: Suggest active outings with family or friends, like a walk, hike, or even a dance party. Stick to a schedule: Pick a time each day to exercise, even if it’s just 10-15 minutes, to help keep you on track. 6. Don’t skip meals Skipping meals can lead to overeating later, especially if you’re around lots of tempting foods. Eat regular meals: Try to eat three balanced meals each day to keep your energy up and avoid feeling overly hungry. Include a balance of food: Each meal should have some carbs, protein, and healthy fats. This mix helps you stay full and gives your body what it needs. 7. Get enough sleep Sleep is often overlooked, but it’s very important. When you don’t sleep enough, you might feel hungrier and crave sugary or high-fat foods. Aim for a good night’s sleep: Try to go to bed at a regular time, even with a busy holiday schedule. Create a relaxing bedtime routine: Do something relaxing before bed, like reading a book or taking a warm bath. Limit caffeine and screen time: Avoid caffeine in the evening and turn off screens an hour before bed, as both can make it harder to fall asleep. 8. Handle stress in healthy ways Holidays can bring a lot of joy but also some stress. Many people turn to comfort foods when stressed, which can lead to weight gain. Take a deep breath: Try deep breathing, meditation, or a short walk to stay calm. Say no when needed: Don’t take on too much. It’s okay to skip events or activities if they make you feel stressed. Make time for things you enjoy: Doing things you love can help reduce stress, keeping you more balanced and less likely to stress-eat. 9. Don’t be too hard on yourself If you overeat, don’t beat yourself up. Guilt can lead to more stress and unhealthy eating. Be kind to yourself: No one eats perfectly, especially during the holidays. One day of overeating won’t ruin your health. Get back on track: If you have a big meal, simply eat healthier for your next one. Try to focus on making good choices going forward. Enjoy the season: Remember that holidays are about spending time with loved ones, not just about food. 10. Set simple health goals The holidays are a good time to start small, healthy changes that you can carry into the new year. Set realistic goals: Instead of big changes, set small goals, like drinking more water or adding veggies to each meal. Celebrate small wins: Notice and appreciate small victories, like choosing a healthy snack or going for a walk. Focus on how you feel: Pay attention to how good food choices make you feel, rather than just the number on the scale. Enjoying the holidays and staying healthy can go hand-in-hand. By planning ahead, choosing treats mindfully, staying active, and being kind to yourself, you can celebrate the season without gaining extra weight. With these tips, you’ll feel good about your choices and be ready to start the new year on a positive note! Visit my Instagram for more info! Read more from Agata Tiurmorezow Agata Tiurmorezow, Eating Disorder Recovery Coach Agata Tiurmorezow works as Eating Disorder Recovery Coach. Agata after sufferring herself 20 years ago, earned a master's degree in Food Technology and Human Nutrition. This allowed her to deepen her knowledge of nutrition and better understand how the body functions. For the past 10 years, Agata has been helping women achieve their goals, improve their health, and minimize symptoms of conditions like PCOS, endometriosis, thyroid issues, or menopause through a specially tailored nutrition plan, supplements, and exercise.
- Decolonizing Professionalism Standards – 4 Ways To Become More Inclusive And Equitable
Written by LeKeshia Harless Mathis, Advocate, Advisor and Mentor Dr. LeKeshia Mathis is a prominent figure in the fields of social work and mental health. As the founder of Evolutionary Services and Consulting, she brings over a decade of experience in these areas. In Western societies, the prevailing standards of professionalism are designed to establish a consistent framework for behavior in the workplace; however, they often reflect and reinforce cultural prejudices. Despite the evolution of these standards over time, they still tend to benefit certain groups while sidelining others. Traditional criteria for professionalism generally align with Western, white cultural values, which can disadvantage a range of diverse lifestyles. What is the history of Western society's professional standards? The professional standards governing the History of Western Society consist of a comprehensive framework of ethical principles and practices that historians are required to adhere to in their scholarly endeavors. The purpose of creating such standards was to establish professional guidelines to safeguard and maintain distinct knowledge, skills, and expertise domains. In Western societies, the establishment of professional standards was intended to highlight the importance of ethical behavior and integrity within various professions. These standards serve as a framework to ensure that individuals maintain a high level of competence and engage in continuous professional development. Furthermore, they underscore the necessity of accountability and responsibility in professional practices, ensuring that practitioners are answerable for their actions and decisions. Deluca, S., Hall, J., & Khalili, H. (2014) . What are Western society's professional standards? The original intent behind the establishment of professional standards has evolved significantly over time, leading to a divergence from their foundational purpose. Rather than emphasizing the essential elements of knowledge, skills, and expertise that were initially prioritized, contemporary expectations have shifted towards superficial aspects such as dress codes and personal appearance. This change reflects a growing preoccupation with how individuals present themselves in professional settings, overshadowing the core competencies that these standards were designed to uphold. Implementing current professional standards across various fields has led to significant criticism, as these standards often establish and perpetuate cultural biases. Despite the evolution of these standards over time, they frequently favor specific groups, thereby creating an imbalance that disadvantages others. This dynamic raises important questions about equity and inclusivity within professional practices. Three types of professional standards highlighted 1. Dress code and appearance In many Western workplaces, adherence to a formal dress code is seen as a hallmark of professionalism. However, this rigid framework can lead to the exclusion of diverse cultural expressions, particularly those that are integral to the identities of individuals from non-Western cultures or Black communities. The emphasis on conventional attire often overlooks the significance of cultural garments and hairstyles, which can serve as vital representations of heritage and personal identity. Expectations regarding dress and appearance typically encompass several key elements: Hairstyles characterized by a polished appearance frequently correspond with the textures and styles typically associated with white hair. Hence, women sporting afros, braids, or twists may be perceived as less professional according to the established standards. Women are permitted to wear earrings, usually one pair, while men are generally forbidden from wearing them. The significance of Native American earrings extends deeply into cultural and spiritual realms. Imposing restrictions on their use effectively prevents Native American men from expressing their heritage and cultural values. Earrings Enthusiast Gendered dress codes require men to wear one set of clothing (e.g., suits) and women to wear another set of clothing (e.g., modest dresses). Additionally, women’s bodies are often more policed with rules about exposed shoulders, knees, etc. Furthermore, some cultural or religious attire, like head coverings, may be restricted. 2. Communication styles The standards prevalent in Western societies may pose challenges for individuals hailing from cultures that employ distinct communication styles or for those who are not proficient in English. These societal norms often emphasize directness, assertiveness, and a particular form of discourse that may not align with the practices of other cultural backgrounds. Consequently, individuals who communicate in a more indirect or nuanced manner may find themselves at a disadvantage, as their intentions and messages might be misinterpreted or overlooked. 3. Work style and time management The workplace environment in North America and Western Europe often champions individual accomplishments and performance that is oriented towards tangible results. Organizations within these regions frequently prioritize goal-setting and the attainment of measurable outcomes, fostering a culture where personal achievement is highly valued. Employees are generally encouraged to engage in multitasking and to effectively manage their time to enhance overall productivity, which is seen as a critical component of professional success. Cheng, Y., & Groysberg, B. (2020). Such a perspective may lead to a predisposition against individuals originating from Eastern cultures, which prioritize interpersonal relationships and contextual understanding. In these cultures, the significance of flexibility in schedules and deadlines is paramount, reflecting a broader worldview where time is perceived as fluid and cyclical rather than strictly linear. This cultural framework emphasizes the importance of social connections and the nuances of situational context, which can be at odds with more rigid, time-oriented approaches. Eastern and Western Differences . Related articles: The Bias of ‘Professionalism’ Standards ( ssir.org ) Bias Against Natural Hair Negative impacts of biased professionalism norms The detrimental effects of biased professional standards are multifaceted and significant. They hinder individuals from marginalized backgrounds from fully expressing their identities within the workplace, thereby stifling diversity and inclusion. Such biases can result in discriminatory practices during recruitment, termination, and everyday management, perpetuating an inequitable work environment. Furthermore, these norms compel employees to suppress their true selves and humanity, leading to a culture of inauthenticity and disengagement. Additionally, they create barriers for those who experience bias and discrimination, leaving them without adequate support or avenues for redress. Ultimately, these biased norms serve to reinforce and perpetuate various forms of discrimination, including racism, sexism, classism, and ableism, thereby undermining the principles of equity and justice in professional settings. 4 ways to foster inclusive and equitable 1. Revise policies and practices To foster a more inclusive and equitable workplace, organizations should undertake a comprehensive revision of their policies and practices. This process should include creating gender-neutral, unbiased dress codes that respect individual expression while maintaining professionalism. Implementing flexible work arrangements that accommodate diverse needs is crucial for supporting employees with various personal and family responsibilities. Developing equitable hiring and promotion practices ensures that all candidates are evaluated fairly based on their qualifications and potential. It's essential to critically examine existing standards and policies for bias, addressing any discriminatory elements that may have been overlooked. Embracing cultural differences in dress, speech, and work styles, as well as diverse cultural expressions in appearance and communication, creates a more welcoming environment for employees from all backgrounds. Ultimately, the focus should shift towards competence and results rather than conformity to arbitrary standards, allowing employees to contribute their best work in a way that aligns with their individual strengths and cultural identities. 2. Reimagining organizational culture The concept of organizational culture can be transformed by emphasizing the importance of interdependence among team members instead of fostering a sense of individualism. This shift encourages collaboration and collective responsibility, allowing employees to recognize that their contributions are interconnected and vital to the organization's overall success. By cultivating an environment where teamwork is prioritized, organizations can enhance communication, build trust, and create a more cohesive workplace that thrives on shared goals and mutual support. 3. Foster inclusive communication Promoting inclusive communication necessitates encouraging and facilitating open and courageous dialogues surrounding issues of bias and discrimination. Creating an environment where individuals feel safe and empowered to express their thoughts and experiences related to these critical topics is essential. By fostering such conversations, organizations can address underlying prejudices and work towards a more equitable atmosphere that values every voice. 4. Embrace authenticity Acknowledging that professionalism does not necessitate the suppression of personal identity is crucial for cultivating a healthy workplace culture. Organizations should actively promote an environment where mistakes are viewed as opportunities for growth and learning rather than as failures. This approach encourages innovation and creativity and helps dismantle the detrimental effects of perfectionism and the pressure of an urgency-driven culture, allowing employees to thrive without the fear of judgment. Decolonizing professionalism is not a one-time initiative but rather an ongoing commitment that necessitates continuous self-reflection and a readiness to confront deeply rooted assumptions. This process provides a valuable opportunity for organizations to cultivate workplaces that genuinely appreciate and support all employees, irrespective of their backgrounds or identities. By prioritizing inclusivity and equity, organizations can create a culture that not only benefits their workforce but also contributes positively to the broader societal landscape. Summary Many professionalism standards are steeped in a colonial mindset that encourages detrimental practices such as urgency culture, perfectionism, and power-hoarding. By shifting towards values that are more aligned with Indigenous principles—such as interdependence, humility, and balance—organizations can cultivate a healthier and more sustainable workplace culture that benefits all employees. Consequently, this can lead to genuine employee morale, characterized by a reduction in burnout, enhanced mental stability among individuals, and an overall increase in happiness. Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website for more info! Read more from LeKeshia Harless Mathis LeKeshia Harless Mathis, Advocate, Advisor and Mentor Dr. LeKeshia Mathis is an influential leader in social work and mental health. Her earlier work in child welfare has led her to a profound commitment to helping those facing mental health challenges, racial disparities, and inequalities, especially within underserved communities. She has dedicated her life to empowering, supporting, and advocating for individuals from all walks of life. As the CEO of Evolutionary Services and Consulting, she is focused on helping individuals discover and embrace their true potential.
- 6 Steps To Incorporate Somatic Therapy Into Your Morning Routine
Written by Dr. Denisa Millette, Psychologist Dr. Denisa Millette is a psychologist specializing in trauma, anxiety, and women's health. She is the founder of DM Coaching, an online coaching platform, a psychology professor, and a private psychotherapy practice owner. In mental health and wellness, there's evidence and an ever-growing recognition of the link between our physical bodies and emotional states. Somatic Therapy, a therapeutic approach that has been gaining attention, is at the forefront of exploring this connection. This article explains what somatic therapy is, how it works, and how you can implement it in your daily life. What is somatic therapy? At its core, Somatic Therapy is based on the understanding that our bodies hold onto past traumas and stress, which can manifest in various physical symptoms and ailments. The term 'somatic' comes from the Greek word 'soma,' which means ‘the living body.’ This form of therapy doesn't just address the mind or emotions, but it also engages the body as an integral part of the healing process. Somatic Therapy encompasses a range of techniques, including deep breathing, movement, and relaxation exercises, all aimed at relieving tension that's believed to be stored in the body due to emotional experiences and trauma. It operates on the idea that by addressing these physical manifestations, one can alleviate stress and trauma-related symptoms, often associated with conditions like anxiety, depression, PTSD, and other mental health concerns. One of the key aspects of Somatic Therapy is its focus on bodily sensations and the development of awareness of one's physical state. Unlike traditional talk therapies that primarily engage the cognitive aspects of healing, Somatic Therapy begins with the body. It encourages individuals to become attuned to their physical sensations, which can often be indicators of unresolved emotional issues. The practice of Somatic Therapy can vary widely, but it generally involves a trained therapist guiding the individual through various physical exercises that promote awareness, relaxation, and release of tension. These exercises can include mindful movement, grounding techniques, and even vocalization, all designed to help the individual reconnect with their body and, by extension, their emotions. The efficacy of Somatic Therapy is supported by the understanding that trauma can register within our bodies at a cellular level. While Somatic Therapy may not be as widely recognized as other forms of therapy, such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), it offers a unique approach that can be particularly beneficial for those who feel disconnected from their bodies or for whom traditional talk therapy has reached its limits. Healing through body awareness Adverse and traumatic life experiences are often deeply embedded in the body, so healing and recovery should always be addressed through body awareness, including the central nervous system, which connects the body to the mind via thoughts, emotions, perceptions, memories, imagination, and decision-making. Unresolved traumatic experiences are often trapped in the body, and the body may continue to react to them even though they may be long in the past. This leaves us perpetually on a high alert and overly vigilant, or shut down and disconnected from self, others, and the world. Mind-body practices, including somatic therapy, allow us to experience a sense of integrity, intimacy, and connection with our bodies, ultimately becoming balanced and grounded and restoring harmony and coherence between the body and the mind. These practices are used to build the foundation of safety, to learn how to calm and ground oneself, and to foster and cultivate self-compassion and an increased sense of aliveness, joy, and presence. Growing somatic awareness will gradually enhance the capacity for self and emotional regulation. Somatic awareness and mindfulness are key components of mind-body interactions. Somatic awareness is defined as the ability to perceive, interpret, and act based on one's internal bodily sensations. This can be a powerful tool in regulating emotion, maintaining health, and facilitating recovery from illness and dysfunction. Why include somatic therapy in your morning routine Mornings set the tone for our entire day, and incorporating Somatic Therapy into your morning routine can be a game-changer for both your mental and physical health. Somatic Therapy is a holistic approach that emphasizes internal physical perception and experience. It's not just about stretching or exercising; it's about connecting with your body on a deeper level. Incorporating Somatic Therapy into your morning routine doesn't have to be complicated. It can be as simple as taking a few minutes to stretch and breathe deeply, focusing on how your body feels with each movement. This practice can help release any tension built up overnight and prepare you for the day ahead. Practicing Somatic Therapy in the morning can have numerous benefits. It can help you release tension, improve self-awareness, regulate emotions, and enhance your mind-body connection. Over time, this can lead to a more mindful approach to life, where you're more present and in tune with your body's needs. Your morning routine is a powerful tool for setting up a successful day. By including Somatic Therapy, you're not just preparing your body for the day's activities; you're also nurturing your mental health and emotional resilience. Give it a try, and you might just find yourself feeling more balanced, focused, and ready to tackle whatever comes your way. 6 practical ways to incorporate somatic therapy into your morning routine Here are some tips on how to weave somatic practices into your morning routine: 1. Begin with a body scan Start your morning by lying in bed for a few extra minutes and performing a body scan. This involves paying attention to each part of your body, noticing any sensations, and breathing into them. This practice can help you wake up to your body's needs and start your day grounded. 2. Gentle stretching After getting out of bed, engage in some gentle stretching exercises. Focus on movements that encourage spine flexibility, like arching, rounding, and side bending. These movements can help release tension from sleeping and energize your body for the day ahead. 3. Breathwork Incorporate some deep breathing exercises. Conscious breathing can help regulate your nervous system and reduce stress levels. Try inhaling for a count of four, holding for seven, and exhaling for eight. 4. Mindful movement Consider practices like yoga or tai chi, which combine movement with mindfulness. These exercises can improve your balance, posture, and body awareness, all while calming the mind. 5. Set intentions with movement As you move, set intentions for your day. This could be a focus on gratitude, openness to new experiences, or simply being present. Let your movements reflect these intentions. 6. Grounding techniques Before you step out to face the world, spend a few moments grounding yourself. This could be as simple as feeling your feet firmly planted on the ground or visualizing roots growing from your feet into the earth. Remember, the key to a successful somatic morning routine is consistency and listening to your body. It's not about doing it perfectly but rather about being present with yourself as you start your day. When working with my clients in private practice, my approach is deeply embedded in the integration of evidence-based, neuroscientific approaches. These include healing mind-body practices as well as effective techniques drawn from cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), cognitive processing therapy (CPT), dialectic behavioral therapy (DBT), solution-focused therapy, art therapy, and other treatment modalities supported by current research. With the help of the inevitable neuroplasticity of the brain, the overall purpose of this approach is to help my clients intentionally change the wiring of their brain structures to break down barriers to a healthier and happier life. To learn more about how to work with me and gain access to other valuable resources offered on my website, please visit here . Follow me on Facebook , and LinkedIn for more info! Read more from Dr. Denisa Millette Dr. Denisa Millette, Psychologist Dr. Denisa Millette is a practicing Psychologist and a Professor of Counseling Psychology with over 23 years of clinical experience. Her specialties are trauma, anxiety disorders, and women’s health. She was recently awarded the Distinguished Professional Service Award for leadership in international trauma counseling development. Dr. Millette is a founder of the DM Coaching platform designed to support women across the globe in creating a life worth living in the aftermath of difficult life experiences. Originally, from the Czech Republic, Dr. Millette currently resides and practices in the United States and Canada.
- Stress Management – 10 Tips How To Live More Lightly
Written by Silke Tsafrir, MBSR, Mindfulness Teacher & Life Coach Silke Tsafrir is the founder of her studio "Matte&Stuhl" – a space for stress management, mindfulness, and soul growth in Stuttgart. Silke's heartfelt mission is to holistically support women and inspire them through her training and coaching to respect their own needs more and more and to live a stress-free and self-determined life. Are you tired of rushing through life and feeling stressed? Do you feel driven and out of control, longing to live more freely and autonomously and to wake up in the morning looking forward to the day and its tasks? The good news is that it's possible! You can gradually free yourself from this hamster wheel, finding more joy in life again. It's essential to identify what triggers your stress, what happens in your body when you’re stressed, and how you might be amplifying stress with limiting internal beliefs, like “I have to be perfect,” “I have to please everyone,” or “I must do it alone.” What is stress? When we are stressed and have to cope with challenging situations, our body reacts either physically or mentally, or both. Our body releases hormones like adrenaline or cortisol and reacts with a "fight-or-flight" response. These hormones increase our heart rate, sharpen our focus, and prepare our muscles to respond. In the short term, stress can help us stay alert and energized, but in the long term, it can lead to a lot of negative and even dangerous effects on mental and physical health, including fatigue, anxiety, headaches, weakened immune function, and even heart disease. Chronic stress can be a result of difficult working conditions, unstable relationships, or financial issues, where we may feel overwhelmed or unable to cope effectively. Managing stress is essential for well-being, as it helps prevent burnout and promotes mental clarity and resilience. What does stress management mean? Effective stress management includes various techniques and methods that can be applied across different areas of life. The goal is to identify and control the stressors that trigger stress while developing strategies to cope with and reduce stress. 10 tips on how stress management can help you live more lightly 1. Self-reflection: Recognize your stress triggers First, become aware of what stress means to you and which situations or people cause it. It might be, for example, too much work, too many tasks at once, the double burden of family and job, an irritable boss, relationship issues, health problems, etc. Stress triggers are different and unique for each person. Some people are more resilient, while others are more easily stressed. Understanding what triggers your stress is the first step in learning to manage it. Anything we become aware of can gradually be changed, providing us with new ways to act. 2. Time management Organizing yourself and setting priorities is essential to reduce stress. Break down your tasks into manageable parts. For example, set a timer for 30 minutes, focus on a single task, then take a short break to clear your mind. Remember to schedule regular breaks throughout your day in order to clear your mind! 3. Healthy lifestyle habits Regular exercise, a balanced diet, sufficient sleep, and minimal alcohol contribute to keeping your body fit and more resilient to stress. Daily challenges seem less daunting when you feel good and you're less easily thrown off course. 4. Relaxation techniques Practices like deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or meditation can help you reduce stress and activate the body’s relaxation response. Through breathing and meditation, you can anchor yourself in the present and reconnect with yourself, becoming more aware of how you feel, your body’s sensations, and your inner state. 5. Social support Build a social network or start using it actively. Share with friends, family, and colleagues what’s on your mind and where your challenges lie, and ask for support when needed. Once you open up and share, your surroundings open up, too. As the saying goes, “A problem shared is a problem halved.” Social connections are essential for managing stress and make you stronger and more resilient. 6. Hobbies and interests Take time for hobbies and activities you enjoy. Hobbies clear the mind, increase anticipation for pleasant moments, and foster a positive outlook. Many people make the mistake of canceling enjoyable activities when stressed. These activities are crucial for well-being and re-energize you for daily life. 7. Setting boundaries Learn to say "no" and set clear boundaries regarding obligations or requests from friends or acquaintances. Consider which tasks are essential and what you can delegate or decline. Find honest ways to communicate this with your boss or friends, who will understand if you can’t take on something at the moment. 8. Develop a positive mindset Remove the word “problem” from your vocabulary as much as possible, and talk about “challenges” instead. When you face a challenge, ask yourself: “What can I learn from this situation?” Focus on solutions rather than on “problems.” Accept that not everything can be perfect – sometimes “good enough” is just right. For example, if you’re working on an important project, don’t feel pressured to prepare a three-course meal for a family gathering – cater it instead, and everyone will still enjoy the event. 9. Mindfulness Practice mindfulness to stay in the present and avoid getting entangled in past or future worries. Breathing techniques or focusing on bodily sensations can help, like directing your attention to your hands and noticing any sensations there. 10. Professional help Finally, if you find that stress has become overwhelming and is causing serious symptoms like insomnia, heart palpitations, etc., seeking help from a coach or therapist is advisable to prevent burnout or other issues. Not every method or approach suits everyone. Let these tips inspire you to find your path to managing stress more easily. I’d love to hear about your experiences with these methods. Follow me on Instagram , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Silke Tsafrir Silke Tsafrir, MBSR, Mindfulness Teacher & Life Coach Silke Tsafrir is an MBSR (Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction) teacher, mindfulness trainer, and life coach. After experiencing a severe personal tragedy, she was first introduced to the MBSR program, coaching, and meditation. She was so fascinated and convinced by the effectiveness of mindfulness practice that she completed training in MBSR and became a certified life coach. In 2019, she founded her studio "Matte&Stuhl" in the west of Stuttgart, where she offers mindfulness training and coaching both on-site and online as well as Yoga and Reiki treatments and retreats. Her mission is to guide women on their path to a mindful and self-determined life.
- Why High-Masking Autism Goes Undetected And The Cost Of Concealing It
Written by Amy Strekas, Holistic Neurodivergent & Communication Coach Amy Strekas, founder of Speech, Language, Learning PLLC, offers individualized coaching for neurodivergent clients of all ages. With over 20 years of experience, Amy, an autistic ADHDer herself and mom to a neurodiverse child, uniquely blends expertise and empathy to help individuals and families overcome challenges. High-masking autism, where individuals camouflage their traits to fit in, often goes undetected, leading to unique challenges. This hidden form of autism can result in significant emotional, mental, and physical costs as people struggle to maintain a facade. In this article, we explore why high-masking autism remains overlooked and the impact of suppressing one’s authentic self. What is high-masking autism? Autism is often seen through a narrow lens, where behaviors like stimming, lack of eye contact, and limited verbal communication are considered defining traits. But for many autistic individuals, these traits can be nearly invisible, leading to a unique presentation often referred to as “high-masking autism.” Unlike the stereotypical picture of autism, people with high-masking autism may appear highly capable, socially fluent, and even outgoing, but this façade is often maintained at a significant personal cost. Understanding high-masking autism involves looking beyond the surface and recognizing the intense effort and exhaustion it takes to camouflage autistic traits. Let’s explore what high-masking autism is, why it happens, and how it impacts the lives of those who experience it. Defining high-masking autism High-masking autism, sometimes called “camouflaging” or “compensatory strategies,” refers to the ability of some autistic individuals to hide their autistic traits to blend in with neurotypical peers. The term “masking” is used because it’s like putting on a mask to present as someone they’re not. This can involve suppressing behaviors typically associated with autism like avoiding stimming, mimicking socially acceptable body language, or forcing oneself to make eye contact, even if it feels uncomfortable. Often, this ability is developed unconsciously and starts at a young age. It’s a response to social expectations, bullying, or a desire to connect, but it doesn’t come naturally. For individuals who mask, every social interaction can feel like a performance. They carefully monitor themselves, track the cues of others, and adjust their responses to maintain the “mask.” While high-masking might seem like a positive skill or even a sign of “higher functioning,” it’s important to recognize that masking is more of a survival strategy than a strength. In fact, masking is strongly correlated with higher levels of anxiety, depression, and burnout in autistic people, and it often delays diagnosis or leads to a complete lack of understanding from professionals, friends, and family. Why do people mask? People mask for a variety of reasons, most of which center around fitting in, staying safe, and being accepted. These can include: Social expectations: Society values and rewards conformity to neurotypical norms. This can lead to masking as a way to be seen as “normal” and avoid standing out. Avoiding judgment: High-masking autistic individuals often feel the pressure to hide behaviors that are misunderstood or pathologized. For example, rocking, hand-flapping, or avoiding eye contact might be seen as inappropriate, weird, or rude. Preventing bullying or exclusion: Many children and adults mask to avoid negative social experiences like bullying, rejection, or isolation. By blending in, they hope to avoid becoming targets. Desire to connect: Masking can also be driven by a deep desire to connect with others. By mimicking social behaviors, some individuals try to create a sense of rapport, even if it’s difficult to maintain. Delayed diagnosis: High-masking is a key reason why many autistic people—especially women and people assigned female at birth—are diagnosed much later in life or not at all. Because they’ve spent years adapting and hiding, they may not fit the traditional autism criteria, which is still heavily based on outward behaviors rather than internal experiences. The cost of masking While masking may help people survive socially, it often comes with severe mental health consequences. High-masking individuals can experience: Exhaustion and burnout: Maintaining the mask is a 24/7 job, and it’s exhausting. Social situations that are already tiring for many autistic people become doubly draining when masking is involved. Over time, this can lead to autistic burnout, a state of extreme physical, mental, and emotional fatigue. Loss of identity: Because masking requires putting on a persona, individuals may feel disconnected from who they truly are. This can create a sense of identity confusion and a feeling of “not knowing who I am.” Higher rates of anxiety and depression: Masking is linked with higher levels of mental health issues, including anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts. The constant pressure to be someone else and the fear of being “found out” is incredibly stressful. Delayed or missed diagnosis: Masking can obscure the presence of autism to clinicians, leading to misdiagnoses or a complete lack of diagnosis. This means high-masking individuals often go without appropriate supports and accommodations. Recognizing high-masking autism High-masking autism doesn’t always look like the stereotypical picture of autism. It’s characterized more by internal struggles than by external behaviors. To recognize high-masking autism, it’s important to look at patterns that might not be immediately visible. These include: Social chameleoning: Individuals with high-masking autism may adjust their personalities and behaviors depending on the social group they’re in. For example, they might adopt the mannerisms and interests of their peers, even if they’re not genuinely interested. Intense monitoring of social interactions: Many high-masking autistic people report that they are hyper-aware of their own body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice. They might practice smiling in the mirror, rehearse conversations, or mimic others’ speech patterns. Post-social exhaustion: After masking through a long social interaction, individuals often feel drained and may need extended time alone to recover. High levels of self-criticism: Because they are constantly trying to fit in, high-masking autistic individuals tend to be very hard on themselves, analyzing every interaction and worrying that they’ve “messed up.” Delayed expression of emotions: Some people suppress their emotions when around others and only express them later, sometimes in private “meltdowns” or “shutdowns.” Perfectionism and people-pleasing: Often, high-masking is associated with perfectionism and a desire to please others. This can make it difficult for these individuals to assert their needs and boundaries. Supporting high-masking autistic individuals Supporting high-masking individuals involves creating environments where they feel safe to be themselves without judgment or expectation. This starts with: Creating autistic-affirming spaces: Encourage self-expression, whether it’s through stimming, taking breaks, or using different communication styles. Make it clear that it’s okay to “unmask.” Recognizing and respecting boundaries: High-masking individuals may have a hard time saying “no” because they’re used to putting others’ needs first. Respect their boundaries and be mindful of the pressure you may unknowingly place on them. Providing validation: Recognize that masking is a skill they’ve developed to cope with a world that often isn’t accommodating. Validating their experiences, frustrations, and emotions is crucial. Promoting authenticity over conformity: Encourage authentic self-expression instead of conforming to neurotypical norms. Let them know it’s okay to be different and support them in understanding that being true to themselves is more important than fitting in. Access to autistic communities: Peer support can be invaluable. Connecting with other autistic people who understand the experience of masking can help reduce feelings of isolation and promote a sense of belonging. An easy place to start may be a book or a podcast, for example the Uniquely Human podcast covers many topics related to Autism. Also, in his book Unmasking Autism, Dr. Devon Price, writes about his and others’ experiences of masking autism, along with his original research on the subject. The future of understanding high-masking autism High-masking autism is still a relatively new concept, and it challenges traditional views of autism that focus primarily on external behaviors. As our understanding deepens, it’s essential to advocate for more nuanced diagnostic criteria that consider the diversity of expression of autism across identities. High-masking autistic people deserve to be seen, heard, and supported just as much as those whose traits are more visibly expressed. By recognizing and validating the lived experiences of high-masking individuals, we can begin to create a world where they don’t feel the need to mask at all. For more information, click here . Book a coaching call today if you're looking for more support and tips for your ADHD or suspected ADHD or that of your child or other loved one. Let's work together! Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Amy Strekas Amy Strekas, Holistic Neurodivergent & Communication Coach Amy Strekas is the founder of Speech, Language, Learning PLLC and a seasoned expert in child development and neurodiversity. With over 20 years of experience as a speech-language pathologist and coach, Amy brings a unique blend of expertise and empathy to her work. As an autistic ADHDer and a devoted mom to a neurodiverse child, she offers a fresh perspective and invaluable insights into overcoming challenges. Check out Amy's articles for useful tips on navigating the complexities of parenting, stuttering, autism, and ADHD.
- How To Manage Anxiety?
Written by Maria Mulone, Life Coach & Hypnotherapy Maria Mulone is a Certified Life Coach and Registered Hypnotherapist. Her focus is on guiding individuals toward transformative growth and helping them discover their own potential. It does happen to all of us at times to feel anxious, some people though do experience this feeling more often than others. Let’s try to understand what is anxiety Normal/General Anxiety is a psychological or behavioural reaction to any real or perceived threatening situation, symptoms are normal reactions to something perceived as a threat. We are worrying about something that seems too important to let go. We worry about our job, about our loved ones, about some decision to make, and so on. This is totally normal and there is nothing wrong with it, but we do not classify feeling anxious as a good feeling and we think that anxiety is the enemy and we need to cure ourselves. The truth is that Anxiety is a natural part of our human experience, you haven’t got any mental disability, it’s all about being able to manage it, not about letting it disappear. We do need that sense of alertness, and anxiety let me check if I have the keys in my pocket before leaving my house, it makes me look before crossing the street and so on. It is an emotion we need in life to survive. 3 simple steps that will help you to manage anxiety 1. Stop being anxious about feeling anxious Many times, instead of checking what this anxiety is trying to tell us, we only worry that we should not be feeling that way, and this only makes the level of anxiety going up. Accepting the way you feel is the first step, it’s ok don’t fight it. 2. Start listening to yourself Start listening to what your anxiety is telling you instead of worrying about feeling anxious. Check with yourself what are the causes or triggers of this feeling. Being in the now and present can help, we worry about the future, about something that we feel might happen but usually never happens. We can also ask ourselves these 5 questions below to ground us, the scenarios we play in our mind are terrible and probably never going to happen. Do I know the reason why I feel anxious? How is this affecting my life? Is this feeling appropriate now for the circumstances I am experiencing? Did I fail in the past? (Most of the time the worst-case scenario never happened) Is there something I can do to change the circumstances? (Many times there is nothing we can do and worrying about it won’t change the circumstances) 3. Be kind to yourself Being harsh can cause low self-esteem and create even more anxiety for the future when the slightest challenge comes. The simple decision to speak differently to yourself can change your situation. Build yourself up instead of beat yourself up. Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Maria Mulone Maria Mulone, Life Coach & Hypnotherapy Maria is a Life Coach and Hypnotherapist. She thrives by helping people boost their self-esteem and unleash their inner power, helping them achieve their goals. She has always felt the urge to help others and discovered throughout her life that the only way to build a beautiful life is to start with self-love.
- You’re Sober, Now What? – Finding Purpose And Joy In Your Next Chapter
Written by Kary Youman, Sobriety Coach Kary Youman brings warmth and understanding to his role as the founder of The Sobriety Box, a monthly subscription designed to support men in recovery. A TEDx speaker and mental health advocate, Kary focuses on creating genuine connections and providing meaningful support on the path to sobriety. Stepping into sobriety is a powerful accomplishment, but the journey doesn’t end there. Rediscovering joy and purpose after breaking free from addiction can feel like a daunting task. In this article, we explore how to navigate this next chapter with renewed focus, meaning, and the confidence to embrace a fulfilling, sober life. You’re sober, now what? So, you’re sober now what? If you’re anything like me, the early days of sobriety felt like reaching the top of a mountain and looking out over a brand-new world. The journey to get here took courage and determination, and for that, we can be proud. But after the initial rush of success, it’s natural to wonder, What comes next? In my own experience, this phase can feel uncertain and even daunting. But let me share what I’ve learned: the journey after sobriety is an incredible opportunity to build a life that’s joyful, meaningful, and authentically you. Here’s what’s helped me create a fulfilling life in sobriety, and I hope these ideas inspire you on your own path. 1. Explore new passions and hobbies After years of living with addiction, one of the biggest gifts of sobriety is time . But what should you do with it? Rediscovering passions you may have left behind or exploring brand-new interests can be incredibly rewarding. In my case, I found myself drawn to creative activities like writing and art, which helped me process emotions and fill my days with purpose. Try something new: Experiment with a variety of hobbies, from hiking and cooking to learning an instrument. Don’t worry about perfection; enjoy the freedom to explore. Volunteer: Giving back to the community can bring a profound sense of purpose. Volunteer work has not only kept me grounded but has also connected me with like-minded, supportive people. 2. Develop a mindfulness practice One of the most transformative tools I discovered after getting sober was mindfulness. Learning to stay present helped me manage cravings, reduce stress, and embrace my emotions without judgment. Mindfulness can take many forms, from meditation to simple breathing exercises, and it’s become an anchor in my sobriety journey. Start small: I started with just five minutes a day, focusing on my breathing and letting go of any stress. Over time, it became a habit that I now rely on to stay grounded. Consider guided resources: Apps like Headspace or Insight Timer offer simple, beginner-friendly meditations that can make getting started easier. 3. Focus on physical health and wellness Getting sober often reveals how deeply physical and mental health are connected. For me, taking care of my body became a huge motivator and source of pride. Eating well, exercising regularly, and establishing a sleep routine have improved not only my physical health but also my mood, energy levels, and overall outlook on life. Exercise: Even a daily walk can make a big difference. I found that regular physical activity lifted my spirits and helped reduce anxiety. Healthy eating: Nourishing your body with good food is a simple but powerful way to feel your best in recovery. Routine: Building a routine around meals, sleep, and exercise provides a structure that can be incredibly reassuring, especially in early sobriety. 4. Build strong, supportive relationships In sobriety, I found that one of the most important shifts was building relationships that were healthy, encouraging, and genuine. It’s natural to outgrow old social circles, and that’s okay sobriety often calls for new connections with people who support your lifestyle and values. Reconnect and repair: If you have relationships with friends or family that were impacted by addiction, this might be a good time to reach out and rebuild trust. Find a support group: Many of us find strength in community. Support groups like Recovery Dharma, SMART Recovery, or online sober communities can provide camaraderie and accountability. Set boundaries: Setting clear boundaries around relationships helps you protect your mental health and sobriety. 5. Pursue meaningful goals After getting sober, I realized it was time to set new goals for myself, ones that weren’t focused on just getting through the day. Sobriety opens up a world of possibilities for personal growth and purpose. Think about what you want to accomplish, whether it’s advancing your career, furthering your education, or achieving a personal milestone. Start small and build up: Set realistic, attainable goals, and celebrate small wins along the way. Each success, no matter how small, reminds you of your capabilities and progress. Keep a journal: Writing down your goals, progress, and reflections can help keep you focused. For me, journaling became a source of clarity, a place to celebrate wins, and even a way to address challenges head-on. Stay open to change: As you grow in sobriety, your goals may evolve. Embrace change as a sign of growth, and don’t be afraid to dream bigger as you gain confidence. Conclusion This phase of sobriety is all about finding joy, purpose, and balance in the life you’re building. Remember, the journey after addiction is as much about rediscovery as it is about recovery. Taking time to pursue passions, build healthy habits, and set meaningful goals has transformed my life, and I know it can do the same for you. If you’re looking for extra support and inspiration, check out Sobriety Box . Each box is curated to provide you with tools, self-care items, and resources to support your journey and bring a little more joy into each sober day. Embrace this moment as an opportunity to grow, explore, and build a life that you truly love. One day at a time, let’s create lives that are full of purpose, peace, and joy. Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Kary Youman Kary Youman, Sobriety Coach After hitting rock bottom from a decade of alcohol abuse, Kary Youman turned his life around and channeled his experiences into something positive. He founded The Sobriety Box, a subscription service that adds a touch of joy to the recovery process. As CEO, Kary is committed to helping men approach recovery not just as a routine but as a rewarding part of their lives. His motto? Sobriety can be fun.
- Good Vs. Bad Stress – Impact On Oxidative Stress & Role Of Antioxidants And Adaptogens
Written by C amilla dos Santos, Functional Naturopath Camilla is a certified Naturopath and Functional Medicine practitioner, member of both the ANP and GNC, and additionally Ambassador for CNM, who specialised in endocrine health and using holistic techniques to heal root causes of illness. As seen in The Times, Vogue, Financial Times, Standard, Liz Earle Well-bein, and Issuu. Stress, often perceived negatively, is a complex biological response to external or internal stimuli. However, not all stress is harmful. "Good" stress, known as eustress, can be beneficial and even motivating, whereas "bad" stress, known as distress, has a more detrimental impact on health. The key lies in how the body processes and responds to stress, as chronic "bad" stress can lead to oxidative stress and predispose the body to chronic illnesses such as cardiovascular disease, diabetes, and neurodegenerative conditions. Good vs. bad stress: Understanding the biological response Stress activates the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis, triggering the release of stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. Eustress, or "good" stress, is a short-term response that helps the body adapt and perform optimally. For instance, exercise-induced stress enhances cognitive function, improves cardiovascular health, and promotes resilience to future stressors. In contrast, distress occurs when stress becomes chronic, overwhelming the body’s adaptive mechanisms. The persistent activation of the HPA axis leads to prolonged cortisol secretion, disrupting normal physiological processes. Chronic stress results in a maladaptive response, contributing to oxidative stress and inflammation in the body. Oxidative stress: The bridge between "bad" stress and chronic illness Oxidative stress refers to an imbalance between the production of free radicals and the body’s ability to neutralize them with antioxidants. Chronic stress can increase the production of reactive oxygen species (ROS), which damage cellular structures, including lipids, proteins, and DNA. Over time, this cellular damage can lead to the development of chronic illnesses, such as: Cardiovascular disease: Prolonged oxidative stress damages the endothelial cells lining blood vessels, contributing to atherosclerosis and hypertension. Diabetes: Oxidative stress impairs insulin sensitivity and glucose metabolism, increasing the risk of type 2 diabetes. Neurodegenerative diseases: Chronic oxidative damage to neurons is linked to the progression of Alzheimer’s disease, Parkinson’s disease, and other cognitive impairments. Antioxidants and adaptogenic herbs for stress management The body relies on antioxidants to combat the damaging effects of oxidative stress. Antioxidants neutralize free radicals, reducing oxidative damage and supporting overall health. Additionally, adaptogenic herbs and plants that help the body adapt to stress are increasingly recognized for their role in regulating stress responses. Key nutrients Pantothenic acid (B5): This vitamin is a precursor to coenzyme A (CoA), which is crucial for synthesizing adrenal steroids, including cortisol. Without sufficient B5, cortisol production can be impaired, making it difficult for the body to handle stress efficiently. Niacin (B3): By supporting overall energy production and acting as a precursor for NAD, niacin indirectly assists in cortisol production. High levels of stress increase the need for cortisol, and niacin ensures the adrenal glands have the necessary energy and cofactors to meet this demand. Key antioxidants Vitamin A is essential for the synthesis and regulation of steroid hormones produced by the adrenal cortex, including cortisol. Cortisol is the primary stress hormone, and its production is influenced by signals from the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis. Adequate vitamin A levels help ensure that the adrenal glands produce the right amounts of cortisol in response to stress. Vitamin C: This potent antioxidant reduces cortisol levels and enhances immune function. Research shows that high levels of vitamin C can prevent the negative effects of prolonged stress on immune cells. Vitamin E: An important fat-soluble antioxidant, vitamin E helps protect cell membranes from oxidative damage, particularly in the cardiovascular system. Glutathione: Often called the "master antioxidant," glutathione is crucial in detoxifying and protecting cells from oxidative stress. Studies suggest chronic stress depletes glutathione levels, increasing oxidative damage. CoQ10 neutralizes free radicals generated during oxidative phosphorylation, reducing oxidative stress in adrenal tissues. By maintaining mitochondrial health and preventing oxidative damage, CoQ10 ensures that the adrenal glands can continue to function efficiently and produce stress-related hormones. This protective effect is crucial for preventing adrenal burnout and dysfunction due to prolonged stress exposure. Adaptogenic herbs Ashwagandha (Withania somnifera): This adaptogen has been shown to reduce cortisol levels, alleviate anxiety, and improve overall stress resilience. Ashwagandha also supports thyroid function, making it particularly useful in managing stress-induced hormonal imbalances. Schisandra (Schisandra chinensis), a well-known adaptogenic herb in traditional Chinese medicine, offers a range of benefits for postmenopausal women, particularly in managing stress and oxidative stress. The postmenopausal phase often brings hormonal imbalances, increased oxidative stress, and a heightened stress response due to fluctuating estrogen levels. Schisandra helps address these issues in several ways. Lion's mane (Hericium erinaceus): Chronic stress is often linked to anxiety and depression, conditions that can worsen the body's stress response. Lion’s mane has been shown to alleviate symptoms of anxiety and depression, likely due to its ability to promote the growth of nerve growth factor (NGF), a protein that is essential for the growth, maintenance, and survival of neurons. A 2010 study in women found that consuming lion’s mane for four weeks significantly reduced anxiety and depression scores compared to a placebo. Rhodiola rosea: Known for enhancing mental and physical endurance, Rhodiola helps balance cortisol levels and reduce fatigue during times of chronic stress. Holy Basil (Ocimum sanctum): Holy Basil has antioxidant properties and has been shown to lower blood sugar and cortisol, supporting stress regulation and reducing oxidative damage. The importance of testing hormone levels and phases of adrenal fatigue Chronic stress can lead to adrenal fatigue, a condition where the adrenal glands become overworked from prolonged stress. Adrenal fatigue is categorized into three phases: Phase 1: High cortisol output due to chronic stress. Symptoms include feeling “wired” but tired, anxiety, and sleep disturbances. Phase 2: As stress continues, the adrenals begin to struggle to keep up with cortisol production, leading to fatigue, brain fog, and reduced energy levels. Phase 3: Also known as adrenal exhaustion, significantly low cortisol levels mark this phase. Individuals experience extreme fatigue, depression, and a weakened immune response. Testing hormone levels (e.g., cortisol, DHEA, and other adrenal hormones) is essential before proceeding with any treatment plan. This is because the therapeutic approach varies depending on the phase of adrenal fatigue. For example: Phase 1: Focus on stress reduction techniques, lifestyle changes (e.g., regular sleep, exercise), and mild adaptogenic herbs like Rhodiola to balance cortisol levels. Phase 2: Moderate support for adrenal function with supplements like vitamin C and adaptogens like Ashwagandha to restore cortisol balance. Phase 3: Emphasis on rest, nutrient support, and adaptogens like Holy Basil to rebuild adrenal strength and function. Androgen dominance and nervous system interactions Understanding the body's stress response also involves considering the nervous system's role in hormone production. The parasympathetic nervous system (PSNS) and sympathetic nervous system (SNS) regulate hormone production differently, influencing androgen dominance. Beta-androgen production (PSNS): Beta-androgens are typically involved in calmer, restorative functions, contributing to fatigue and poor muscle recovery, and other conditions such as acne, oily skin, or polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) in women. Licorice root has been shown to reduce testosterone levels, making it particularly useful in managing excess beta-androgens. It inhibits the enzyme 17 - hydroxysteroid dehydrogenase, which converts androstenedione to testosterone, helping to lower overall androgen levels. Licorice is especially useful for women with PCOS or those experiencing androgenic symptoms. Peony, spearmint and Reishi are other herbs included in the treatment of elevated beta-androgens. Alpha-androgen production (SNS): The SNS is associated with the "fight or flight" response. When activated, it can increase androgen levels, particularly testosterone, which can cause symptoms like irritability, aggression, and hormonal imbalances. Saw palmetto is well-known for its ability to regulate androgen levels, particularly in men. It works by inhibiting the enzyme 5-alpha-reductase, which converts testosterone into dihydrotestosterone (DHT), a more potent androgen. By reducing excess DHT, saw palmetto helps prevent androgen imbalances that can lead to symptoms like hair loss or skin issues, and it can have a calming effect on androgen production, supporting beta-androgen balance. Black Cohosh, Pyguem and Nettle are other herbs that are commonly paired with Saw palmetto. Testing androgen levels and understanding the balance between SNS and PSNS activity are crucial for formulating a targeted treatment plan. Conclusion Stress is inevitable, but understanding the difference between "good" and "bad" stress is key to maintaining health. Chronic stress leads to oxidative stress, contributing to a host of chronic illnesses, but antioxidants and adaptogenic herbs offer powerful tools for managing stress and mitigating its effects. Testing hormone levels and adrenal function is critical for distinguishing between different phases of adrenal fatigue, ensuring that treatment, whether through supplementation or lifestyle changes, is appropriately tailored to the individual’s needs. Furthermore, recognizing the role of the nervous system in androgen production allows for a more nuanced approach to stress management, fostering overall hormonal balance and well-being. Follow me on Instagram , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Camilla dos Santos Camilla dos Santos, Functional Naturopath Born and raised in Southern Africa, Camilla was immersed in a rich tapestry of nature's diversity and vitality from an early age. Certified Naturopath and Functional Medicine practitioner, member of both the ANP and GNC, and additionally Ambassador for CNM, Camilla has led the Coach House spa (Beaverbrook), for the past 4 years, offering Functional Naturopathic counselling, holistic journeys (breathwork and meditation), and complementary treatments such as HBOT, IV infusions. As seen in Times, Vogue, Financial Times, Standard, Liz Earle Well-bein, and Issuu.
- Finding Freedom From Shame with The Healing Touch Of Tantric Massage
Written by Esther Janssen, Certified Tantric Trauma Healer for Women Esther Janssen is a certified Tantra massage therapist specialising in healing women's trauma. Her own experiences of emotional abuse during childhood, as well as sexual assaults and rape as an adult, led her to her calling as a healer through the process of overcoming her own traumas. Shame–it’s a whisper in the quiet corners of our hearts, a weight that often goes unspoken yet profoundly shapes how we view ourselves and our bodies. For many of us, this silent burden influences our relationship with our sexuality, our self-image and our very sense of worth. But what if there was a gentle, powerful way to release this shame and rediscover the inherent beauty and wisdom of our bodies? This is where the transformative practice of tantra massage can offer a path to healing… The roots of shame Shame around our bodies and sexuality often runs deep, stemming from various sources: Societal expectations and media portrayals that may not reflect our reality Past experiences or relationships that left emotional scars Cultural or religious teachings that may have complicated our relationship with our bodies A lack of open, nurturing conversations about our bodies and natural processes These factors can lead us to feel disconnected from our bodies, uncertain about our desires, or perhaps unworthy of pleasure and love. But it’s important to remember: these feelings are not your truth. They’re stories we’ve been told or have told ourselves, and like all stories, they can be rewritten. Understanding shame’s impact Shame doesn’t just affect how we feel about ourselves; it can have far-reaching consequences on our lives as well… It can hinder our ability to form deep, intimate connections with others It may lead to avoidance of medical check-ups or self-care practices Shame can fuel negative self-talk and low self-esteem And it can often result in physical tension and stress in the body Recognising these impacts is the first step towards healing. It’s important to approach this recognition with compassion for yourself, understanding that shame is a learned response, not an inherent truth about who you are. The healing touch of tantra massage Tantra massage offers a unique and powerful approach to healing our shame. Unlike traditional massages or purely sensual practises, tantra massage is a holistic, therapeutic experience that combines mindful touch with spiritual and emotional healing. Ways in which tantra massage can help in overcoming shame Creating a safe space: In a tantra massage session, you’re provided with a judgement-free environment where you can simply be. There are no expectations to perform or to be anyone other than who you truly are. Reconnecting with your body: Through gentle, unintentional touch, tantra massage helps you rediscover your body as a source of wisdom and pleasure rather than something to be ashamed of. Practising self-acceptance: As you receive loving touch without conditions, you begin to internalise a sense of worthiness and self-love. Releasing stored emotions: Our bodies very often hold onto past traumas and negative emotions. Tantra massage can help release these stored emotions that we’ve been keeping inside, allowing for deep emotional healing. Empoweringyour sexuality: By exploring your body in a safe, non-sexual context, you can begin to reclaim your sexuality as a natural, beautiful part of who you are. The journey of healing Healing shame through tantra massage is a journey, not a destination. The process is about slowly unlearning harmful beliefs and replacing them with self-love and acceptance. As an example, here are some experiences shared by women who’ve embarked on this path: “For the first time, I felt truly seen and accepted. It was like my body could finally exhale.” – Anna, 34 “I used to avoid mirrors. Now, I can look at myself and appreciate the strength and beauty of my body.” – Maria, 42 “Tantra massage helped me realise that my pleasure matters. I’m worthy of love and touch, just as I am.” – Lena, 29 Embracing your wholeness As you begin to heal shame through tantra massage, you may notice shifts in your relationships with yourself and others. These shifts can manifest as: A growing comfort with your body and sexuality A blossoming self-confidence and ability to express your needs Improved intimate relationships based on genuine connection A deeper sense of connection to your feminine energy An overall sense of well-being and joy in life Remember, your body is not an object to be judged but a sacred vessel that carries you through life. It deserves love, respect and care–starting with your own gentle acceptance. Your next step towards healing If you’re feeling drawn to explore tantra massage as a path to healing shame, know that you’re not alone. Many women have walked this path before you, finding liberation, self-love, and a renewed connection with their bodies. Are you ready to begin your journey of healing? If so, I invite you to reach out for a consultation with me. In this safe, confidential space, we can discuss your unique experiences and how tantra massage might support your path to overcoming shame and reclaiming your wholeness. Remember, you are worthy of love, pleasure, and acceptance exactly as you are–in this very moment. Your journey to healing starts with a single, brave step. Will you take it? (P.S.: You can also download my free Meditation Guide here . I also invite you to keep an eye out for my soon-to-be-released book about healing. It’s currently in the final phase of being reviewed by experts in various fields, such as psychotherapy, trauma therapy, and spirituality. I am still looking for a publisher who can help me release it both nationally and internationally. I hope you find the Meditation Guide useful and the right tool to help you begin your healing journey!) Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. The information provided herein is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have before undertaking any treatments. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Esther Janssen Esther Janssen, Certified Tantric Trauma Healer for Women Her own experiences of emotional abuse during childhood, as well as sexual assaults and rape as an adult, led her to her calling as a healer through the process of overcoming her own traumas. She has empowered hundreds of women from many countries on their journeys to self-love and healing. Her mission is to guide people through the process of healing women’s collective wounds.
- Aging Gracefully, Not Grudgingly – My Take On Anger, Health, And Beauty
Written by Barbara Powell Love, Blogger Barbara Powell Love is currently the Office Manager for a small medical practice. She earned a Bachelor of Science Degree concentrating in Business Development. During our Sister Prayer Call, we discussed anger and how it affects us. Some of us feel that sometimes, we have to give people a piece of our mind when they wrong us or disrespect us. We must get it off our chest. While some agreed, others had other thoughts on the subject, and I found myself listening intently. After some thought, I decided to share my view, so here is my take. Scripture: “Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.” – Ecclesiastes 7:9 (NIV) Anger: The anti-beauty emotion Holding onto anger can do a number on our health and beauty, and for me, that’s reason enough to think twice about it. The moment we start holding onto frustration, our bodies go into stress mode, pumping out cortisol and adrenaline. Sure, these hormones are great in small doses, like in a real emergency, but long-term? That’s when they start to affect things we care about, like our skin, our immune system, and even our heart. When cortisol sticks around, it can lead to breakouts, dull skin, hair loss, and a weary, exhausted look — no concealer in the world can cover that! On top of that, stress from anger has been linked to high blood pressure, heart disease, and a weakened immune system. Imagine dealing with all of that because we let someone’s careless comment stick with us. Honestly, there are some times that it’s our own perception of what someone says that pushes our buttons. My mom’s wisdom: “God’s got this” Growing up, my mother had her own wisdom on anger. She used to say, “There’s no need to get back at that person or to ‘tell them off’ — God’s going to get them.” This was her interpretation of the verse, “Vengeance is mine, says the Lord.” She understood that while we may want to address the person directly, it’s often better for us to take a step back. When we give them a piece of our mind, we end up with less peace in our own lives. And, as she said, if we keep doing that, we’ll run out of “mind” entirely! We don’t always have to have the last word. Forgiveness: For our sake, not theirs Now, this is just my take on forgiveness, and it doesn’t cancel anyone else’s perspective. But I believe that forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves. It doesn’t make what someone did or said okay. It simply means we’re not willing to carry that anger around, paying for their words or actions with our own peace. Sometimes that means keeping distance and setting boundaries. We can exclude people who disrupt our well-being, letting them go their way while we keep our peace. Grace to let go I get it; some hurts feel impossible to forgive. But that’s where grace comes in. God’s grace allows us to forgive even when it feels impossible. It doesn’t erase the hurt, but it helps us move on. And while I might not always feel like forgiving, I’d rather lean on grace than keep adding stress to my own life. If anything, ignoring them completely lets them know that they are simply not important enough to disturb my peace. Aging gracefully through peace Ultimately, forgiveness is like the ultimate beauty product. When we let go, our stress levels drop, our hearts heal, and maybe we end up with a few less frown lines! Peace is a beauty treatment that no amount of concealer or highlighter can achieve. So, the next time someone wrongs me, I’ll choose grace, knowing that God’s got it covered. I’ll hold onto my peace, my beauty, and my health — and let God handle the rest. Prayer Dear Lord, thank You for Your grace and wisdom that helps me to forgive, even when it feels impossible. Please guide me in letting go of anger and filling my heart with peace, joy, and understanding. May Your love shine through me, healing any hurt and releasing me from resentment. Teach me to live in peace with others, so I can remain strong, beautiful, and free in both spirit and body. Amen. Follow me on Facebook , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Barbara Powell Love Barbara Powell Love, Blogger Barbara Powell Love is currently the Office Manager for a small medical practice. She earned a Bachelor of Science Degree concentrating in Business Development. Barbara is also the owner of Beebe Love's Beauty @www.beebelove.com, a blogging website to promote beauty, motivate, inform, provide mental stimulation, educate, inspire and encourage other women over 50 to embrace their inner beauty and pursue their dreams. Her blog focuses on personal development, leadership, and lifestyle. She encourages women to become Seasoned Beauties instead of becoming Senior Citizens.