Written by: Sarah McNicol, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Are you one of the millions worldwide evoked by your experiences during the last 2 years to reflect on your life, work, and priorities and wonder how you can have a better experience? Maybe you have already decided a change is on the horizon. If so, you’re probably experiencing some tension between letting go and moving on, and fear – what if I can’t make changes? and what if pastures new are worse? Change is unnerving Being on the brink of change is unnerving. Perhaps the worst place to be. Discomfort high, certainty low. Your lizard brain is in survival mode (it hates unknown territory) and it is impatient for action, solutions, and a return to business as usual. You are likely asking yourself, what next? Your lizard brain is likely demanding you have THE answer, RIGHT NOW. It’s tempting to grasp at obvious routes forward. Open doors, known quantities, and proactive approaches. New job, business, self-improvement, house, partner, qualification, side hustle. There are plenty of articles, books, videos offering ways to get started. Do nothing yet What is less tempting, counter-intuitive even, is to do nothing…yet. Well, do nothing except feel and notice. The quality of our life is determined by how we feel physically, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. How we feel is strongly influenced by how we spend our precious resources of time, energy, and money, and who with. When what we do is aligned with our innermost desires, priorities, and values we feel alive, energized, content, and joyful. So, to move towards a better quality of life we must understand more about what nourishes us and what drains us. To discover this, you must press pause on the analytical thinking and speedy action taking you’re used to. Those skills and strengths are not what you need right now. Instead, it’s time to lean into experiential and intuitive approaches. Notice how you feel Choices that will truly nourish and serve you are sourced inside not outside yourself, but many of us are living so fast we don’t know what’s going on inside. Your challenge is not to jump into creating your future straight away. Instead, be patient, stick with the status quo a bit longer and notice how you feel. Notice how your body feels in different situations, with different activities, different companions. Notice your stress levels, energy, emotions, how your mind is behaving. And listen. Listen for your inner voice. Call it your intuition, your soul, or your higher self. Whatever term works for you. Hear what it has to say about how your current choices are serving you. Gift yourself some mindful moments To connect with your intuition, gift yourself some mindful moments. By that, I mean uninterrupted time and space, free from distractions. Being not doing. It might be sitting in the sunshine with your eyes closed for a few minutes. Maybe taking a walk without a dog or podcast to attend to. Or spending 20 minutes journaling whatever comes up. When you allow yourself the time and space, you will begin to hear and feel what’s true for you. Bit by bit the raw ingredients for your version of thriving will become apparent. You will also get clear on what to avoid. This isn’t a time to identify your next career trajectory. It is time to identify what you desire in more general terms. For example, more autonomy, less travel, creativity, teamwork, shorter working hours, less/more responsibility, more impact, time for wellbeing, fun, relationship, etc. In these mindful moments, helpful questions to ask your inner self about your current experience are: What is working for me? What isn’t working for me? What would I like more of? What would I like less of? What would I like to stay the same? Keep an open mind. Permit yourself to respond without judgment or censorship. Record your answers, they are your signposts towards a more fulfilling experience. Breathe through the discomfort One final note. Habit change is uncomfortable. My guess is as a high achiever your habit is to get things done, quick smart. Slowing down and tuning into feelings will take you right out of your comfort zone. It may feel very unpleasant. Stick with it. On the other side of this slow process, enduring riches lie. In my Brainz article each month of 2022, I will guide you through an empowering change process. You can read part one here. I will be back next month with help for your next step. In the meantime, for bite-sized weekly servings of encouragement and guidance, plus a free self-evaluation to get you started, sign up here. Follow me on LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Sarah! Sarah McNicol, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Sarah McNicol is a facilitator, coach and innovative businesswoman. Her highly sensitive and versatile approach is under-pinned by 30 years of personal and professional development practise, working with thousands of individuals and teams in a wide variety of contexts. Sarah provides guidance and challenge to help successful high-achievers unhook from the rat race. Re calibrate and tune into a more holistic, metaphysical paradigm to create more fulfilling aligned lives, businesses and careers fuelled by values, joy, inspiration, purpose, belief, meaning and self-compassion.

Tricia-Kay Williams is a multi-ethnic woman married to Basil Williams and currently lives in Coquitlam, British Columbia, Canada. Tricia-Kay is presently a Registered Clinical Counsellor, Coach, and the owner of Metamorphose Counselling and Consultation Ltd. In addition, the host of a YouTube channel and Podcast call Meta Transitions, she is a Diversity Equity and Inclusion Consultant for Organizations in Higher Education. Tricia-Kay is the person she is today because she was determined to achieve her goals despite the obstacles in her way. She strived despite them. Tricia-Kay Williams, A Proud Jamaican Woman Who is Tricia-Kay? Tricia-Kay is an immigrant who grew up in a humble home in the valley of Mount Charles, Parish of St. Andrew in Jamaica. Come down memory lane as we describe the beautiful island of Jamaica where she grew up. Jamaica is very proud of its freedom legacy, where formerly enslaved people fought for freedom and won. That fighting spirit continues today in the heart of its people and trickles down to hard work and hustle being part of the culture. The Jamaican motto is "Out of Many One People," this phrase signifies that a large percentage of the Jamaican people are multi-ethnic. This multi-ethnicity started with colonizers raping and having children with people they enslaved. However, the motto is seen today as a positive thing. The motto takes inspiration from many cultures: Spanish, French, British, East-African, East-Indian, East-Asian, and other parts of Europe. We gain inspiration from many cultures but embrace the "One Love" mentality that creates harmony among people leading to the inter-marrying of different cultures. All that to say that Tricia-Kay has Ghanian, East-Indian and Irish heritage. At nineteen, Tricia-Kay migrated with her family to Ontario, Canada. It wasn't easy to find a job and go to school because she didn't have Canadian Experience or Canadian Education as an immigrant. The only jobs available to immigrants were factory jobs in the service industry, which shocked them. Tricia-Kay researched how to apply to Canadian Universities to further her education and found out that she would need to redo the last year of high school. With much determination and the help of friends and allies, she completed the requirements. She was accepted into York University to pursue a BA in Psychology. She later completed her MA in Counselling Psychology at Adler University in British Columbia, Canada. While in school, Tricia-Kay had to work part-time and sometimes full-time roles to pay her tuition. It is essential to highlight that Tricia-Kay met amazing people who recommended her for various roles and wrote recommendations along the way. She also received encouragement from friends and family to keep going despite the hardships. Tricia-Kay is the person she is today because she was determined to achieve her goals despite the obstacles in her way. She strived despite them. A supportive community also surrounded her. Tricia-Kay is presently a Registered Clinical Counsellor, Coach, and the owner of Metamorphose Counselling and Consultation Ltd. She is the host of a YouTube channel and Podcast called Meta Transitions and is a Diversity Equity and Inclusion Consultant for organizations in Higher Education. What is it that you do for your clients? Metamorphose Counselling and Consultation Ltd. serves international students who are seas away from their families. They are in a new environment with no social support. We help couples navigate communication, conflict resolution and parenting before and during the marriage. We help families who are separating or divorcing navigate co-parenting while in conflict. And we help individuals and families through the pain and sorrow of grief and loss when a loved one dies. Navigating transitions is quite normal, yet many have difficulty because of increased anxiety and the lack of life skills. Tricia-Kay's success has been to create a platform that normalizes seeking help, reduces mental health stigma, and leads a business known for transition services. Tricia-Kay is living out her dream of helping others heal mental wounds and find their purpose while getting unstuck. Tricia-Kay thinks the most crucial part of navigating transitions is to learn the art of reducing anxiety by practicing self-care. Although there are many ways to practice self-care, she finds that the journey is subjective and takes trial and error and patience to master. We can also help you identify what will work best for you by providing you with tools. What is your big goal, and where do you see yourself ten years from now? Tricia-Kay hopes to expand Metamorphose Counselling and Consultation Ltd. nationally across Canada, providing Virtual and In-Person counselling and consultation services. The hope is also to offer relationship coaching services to couples globally. In addition, Tricia-Kay has dreamt of starting a registered charity focused on helping immigrants, students, couples, and families navigate transitions. We will offer these transition services to a population with barriers to mental health services. The hope is to share a holistic approach to assisting with physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs through self-care, community care, and professional care. Follow me on Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram and visit my website for more info! Read more from Tricia-Kay!

Written by: Ashlee Rose DiSalvo, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. It’s taken me a long time to come to grips with the fact that I am no longer an athlete. Starting at age three my dad signed me up for pretty much any sport he could squeeze into my schedule. Like most other parents of the 90’s he was under the impression that team sports would help build character, improve my social skills, and keep me in shape. If I lacked athleticism and some raw talent then at least he would have tried. If I was good enough maybe I could turn natural talent into a competitive high school career resulting in a college scholarship ‒ or heck ‒ maybe even go pro. A parent can dream right? And college was becoming so increasingly expensive at the time, a trend that hasn’t waned. To my dad's joy the latter came to fruition. I got the scholarship and went off to play. College was tough and I learned a lot but most importantly, in preparation for the “real world” I came out with no debt. More than half of the girls I had played with in club and high school that went to play ended up quitting or never graduating. Some hated their team or new coach (I shared this sentiment), some couldn’t deal with being away, others realized they didn’t want to be in that major or school, and many couldn't keep the grades to stay NCAA eligible. Being a college athlete is hectic ‒ there was honestly nothing easy about my schedule or the adjustment to living in a new state with new coaches or teammates. It’s a move, a new job, and you still have to do school full time all as a 17 or 18-year-old. So the fact that I got out with a degree, a certification and no debt ‒ I was winning. The flip side tho, the part that no one ‒ ever ‒ in the history of sports talks about is what happens if you don’t go pro. Sure, you enter the workforce with a stellar resume ‒ who wouldn’t want an athlete as an employee? We are trained to be on time, we know about teamwork, some of us become great leaders, and at least we have practice committing to something bigger than ourselves. Awesome ‒ you're hired! Now what? As a paid athlete I was told what to eat, when to work out, my time was managed by my schedule. That was all gone. No more guidance, a slower metabolism, and the weight of paying bills. Most of us figure it out or we move home. The shity part is that we have no idea what to do anymore because it’s always been done for us. And the biggest hole that’s left for many of us is knowing our purpose. I found myself wondering “who do I compete against now?”. How would I prepare for that competition if I didn’t know who it was? And so, for many of us, it becomes ourselves. This issue happens at an earlier age for high school athletes that never play in college. They have to deal with all of it without a degree or certification at age 17 or 18. And for those who were never athletes, social media now provides the competitors and the stage to put anyone in competition with anyone at any age over a like. Competition culture is everywhere in America and it is exhausting. It plays at the core of our cultural life ‒ capitalism defines a for profit government system meaning that we are all measured by our ability to gain. Almost every institution in our society echoes this ideal. From the time we are young the education system teaches students to compete against each other in class. We emphasize the “importance of good grades” and “hold students back” if they don’t achieve. Later we use these same labels to define their rank in their class which ultimately leads to better college prospects. Only students from the top ranks go to the “big” schools with “nationally ranked” programs. Which ultimately helps them get higher paying jobs at more distinguished companies which other lower ranked students would only dream of. Students aren’t the only ones who get letter grades ‒ the restaurant industry has the same for cleanliness. Most companies are rated on a 5 star program no different from the 5 letter grade system. These same companies make lists which rank their value. The same goes for products and services. Ultimately we are taught from infancy to “size yourself up” and then value is placed on that position. That value sticks with us through life. Some people get lucky breaks and make leaps and bounds in this tiered system but most of us keep the pace and self-fulfill our destiny. The shitty part is that the whole time we are competing with everyone else, playing a game we never signed up for, with rules that the same group of people over time have created to keep themselves at the top. We try to make it fun for ourselves ‒ keep ourselves distracted with the entertainment industry which ALSO has its own ranking systems with Award shows and A-List distinction, music is ranked by metals (platinum and gold), and of course ‒ sports! New technology and it’s establishments like gaming or needing to have the newest phone have even become competitive. There is no one in this country who can hide from this culture and it is so deeply ingrained in us that I found the need to talk about how it might materialize in your life so that you can figure out how to make daily efforts to break free of it. Some might ask why? What’s the problem with this culture? Let me be clear in stating that I chose to live in America because I love it here. I like most everything about the culture and the people. I root for the Buffalo Bills religiously (I usually don’t miss a game all year) and I use YELP daily to tell me the best places to eat or the best services to buy. Shit - I’m a High School Math Teacher. I decide how my 150 students are ranked. However, this culture creates a common practice for us in our daily lives which impacts our relationship with ourselves. And from my personal experience it prevents my clients from recognizing their own abundance and having gratitude, which makes for a not so happy human. So here are some questions I ask my clients which I challenge you to ask yourself in order to bring awareness to how you might be letting competition affect your life. I then highlight how they impact two of the four intention setting categories I ask my clients to reflect on before a session. What is your vision? Who or how was this vision inspired? What is your end goal? What would happen if you reached your end goal? CAREER ‒ I find that most of my clients ‒ usually the ones who make big money ‒ have deep drives. They keep pushing the envelope day in and day out. None of them, and I mean not a single one, have retired. All of them find themselves bored and taking on new projects or business because they can. Even those who have multiple houses and businesses can’t find it within themselves to stop working. Why? My answer ‒ they have become accustomed to competing with themselves. And often they have no idea what their end goal is. Usually because they never took the time to figure out what that was. They were so used to competing with everyone else that when there was no one else to compete with they started doing it with themselves. No matter where you're at in your career cycle I am certain no one wants to work every day but we condition ourselves in such a way to need it in order to define our worth in other areas. So when we don’t have to do it anymore we can’t find a way to stop. When does our vision change from needing to work to wanting to work? And who said that was right? RELATIONSHIPS ‒ We all have heard the saying that “girls like bad boys'' and most of us “marry our dad or mom” even though the vast majority of our parents have created trauma for this generation ‒ so much so that the CDC calls it a Childhood Trauma Epidemic. Too often many of us cycle back to the worst relationships with someone who we know isn’t good for us. We race with the rest of society to “get married” and “settle down” purely because everything about this culture tells us that this vision is successful ‒ it means we are worthy of love. Divorce rates are so high for a reason, we truly have no idea what we want at an early age yet we’re expected to make big commitments (like what career to take) so lots of us find ourselves in the twilight of our 30’s“growing apart” from someone who seemed so right. Competition between siblings for affection starts at the earliest stages of development and then transforms into clout wars later in the lifetime. A lot of times it rears its ugly head at holidays around gift giving which becomes a self-worth factor for many people ‒ especially those with children. We compete with others for love from such an early age that when we get older it simply makes sense to compete for our own love because we know no other way. This in turn creates an endless cycle of our bodies needing modification or our closet needing an overhaul. When did we convince ourselves that what we have to offer could only be measured by others? The list of ways competition culture shows up in our lives is endless. At this point it seems to be a right of passage to endure it on this planet. Although there may be no way of actually escaping it I find it good practice to question why we are okay accepting it. In many ways I know it was beneficial for me to learn early on so that I could play this game called life and succeed but just like Volleyball, I’m sure that I won’t want to play it at some point. I’m also sure my body just won’t be able to take the pressure forever. So let’s work together to figure out how and when you want to stop competing with yourself so that you can look back in gratitude with reflection and experience a life of true satisfaction. Follow me on Instagram, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Ashlee! Ashlee Rose DiSalvo, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Ashlee is a former NCAA Scholarship Athlete who has worked in High School Education and Athletics for over a decade. She possesses both a Bachelors in Mathematics as well as one in Education and a Masters in Education with a focus in Library Science. She has served as a Founding Director of her own Junior Olympic Volleyball Club with Los Angeles Volleyball Academy and recently started her own business in Spiritual Response Therapy. Her new business, The Clear Estate, specializes in Akashic Record Clearing and Psychic Readings. Within the last year, she has also started DJing Tech House shows as DJ Chakrateeze. She is a graduate of PSI 7 and staffs their Basic Seminars in Orange County.

Written by: David Kegley, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Breathing!? Sounds Suspect, I Would Look Silly! It seems as though anybody could just take a deep breath and get on with it… The problems seem to arise due to the commonness of breathing and how unconscious we are about what our breathing becomes throughout the day. This is especially true in our contemporary world where stress hits us from several different angles. As for looking silly, one can choose to be the executive who breathes quick, shallow breaths that leave them tight, stressed, somewhat unhealthy and out of control vs. one who breathes slowly, steadily and looks calm, healthy and appears in control. Anything from pressing toward a deadline, negotiating a deal, dealing with employee issues, to managing home life can cause an uptick in our stress level. What our bodies often do naturally in response to a stressor is to see it as an aggressor. This, of course, triggers many things in our bodies and we react in ways that are counter-productive for life today, including short breaths up in our chest. This may not be dramatic like a panic attack, but keeps us in a semi-stressful state. It would be better if we shifted our breathing to our abdominal cavity, using our diaphragm to pull air downward into our lungs for longer, deeper and slower breaths. Getting the Breathing Practice Right Several clients have responded to me, saying: “breathing doesn’t work for me.” It is perfectly OK that my clients prefer other methods of calming. I’m always fine with that. However, there are ways that people attempt breathing techniques which undermine their effectiveness and I want to make sure to eliminate that possibility. One misfire is utilizing chest breathing instead of belly breathing. I did this myself. As a beginner in conscious breathing practices, my understanding was that I was to expand my lungs by expanding my chest. But, as any voice trainer will tell you, the real depth of our lung capacity comes when our diaphragm (below our lungs) expands downward into our abdomen. This is belly breathing. It causes us to use the abdomen as a barrel for expansion. I was coaching a competitive swimmer once. She was a distance swimmer. I asked her how she prepares for her races in terms of breathing. She thought about this for a moment and for her it intuitively had to do with some longer, deeper breathing. So, I asked her what she observed with the sprinters. How did they breathe just before their race? Wow, what a difference! It was mostly fast, full-on chest breathing! What the sprinters were doing was simulating a fight/flight situation, triggering adrenalin to sprint quickly to the finish. By contrast, this distance swimmer needed to build up oxygen levels with deep breathing but also a sharp mental discipline for the distance of the race. What we need to do to endure throughout the day, to maintain a mental discipline, negotiate and have diplomacy is the long, steady rhythm of a distance swimmer. One way to help shift from chest breathing to belly breathing is to place one hand on your chest and the other hand on your belly. You want to feel all the movement in and out of your belly, your chest should be still as you breathe. For many of us, this takes some practice and retraining. There is another phenomenon occurring. The fascia surrounding the organs of our belly is sensing that this belly breathing is occurring. This stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system and shifts us toward a more relaxed state. It is important to recognize the significance of this physiological shift. Most other rhythms of our bodies are out of our control. Once we swallow, our digestion happens mostly without our conscious management. Our heart rate is regulated behind the scenes as well as our blood pressure. However, we can intervene in our regulatory state by the simple act of controlled breathing. To some degree, it can reset our blood pressure, heart rate and have a beneficial effect on mood, digestion and concentration. This cannot be overstated. This can mean that we have increased attention available to process complex thoughts and reason more creatively. The idea is that during our workday we are most often overly anxious and our physiological system has gone more toward a stressed and uncreative mode of a fight or flight condition. By use of this slower, deeper breathing pattern we are taking everything down a notch, so we feel more present and calmer. If you want to take this method a step further, before you’re ready for bed, practice your slow diaphragm breathing in a cool dark room away from any electronics. That, combined with other sleep hygiene practices, can revolutionize your ability to get a good night’s sleep. Developing Habits That Take Your Stress Level Down Regularly Patterns of breathing are all over the internet and I’ll mention a couple here. I might just begin by suggesting that you simply take some slow, deep breaths focused on belly breathing. Don’t worry about much else. Let it feel good to breathe and notice how good it makes you feel to relax on the outbreath. It can be that simple once you get belly breathing right. One simple refinement is to breathe out more slowly than you breathe in. I know a psychologist who coaches his C-Suite clients to reduce the number of breaths per minute by simply shifting more toward long, slow belly breathing. The easiest way to do this is to practice every day and get used to the rhythm of that long, slow breathing. Get so used to it that you miss it when you’re not doing it. For those who want to track how they are doing, there are wearable breathing monitors that people can strap to their chests. This gives you some data, so you know exactly how you are improving. Whether you use a wearable or not, look for a rate that helps you feel calm. Next is BOX BREATHING. It gets its name because of the four different steps. Step one: inhale for four seconds. Step two: hold for four seconds. Step three: exhale for four seconds. Step four: hold empty for four seconds. Repeat for as many times as you need to calm down. The Navy Seals have been known to use this technique. The 4-7-8 PATTERN. Here a person breathes in for a count of four, holds for seven and breathes out for a count of eight. You can get a little more careful in breathing out by holding your tongue at the top of your mouth and creating a kind of controlled, slow airflow, which can help you relax during that part of the routine. The pattern was popularized by Dr. Andrew Weil. The habit of a slower, deeper breathing pattern takes practice. It doesn’t happen in one day. The breathing patterns are very simple and once you learn them, they’re worth their weight in gold when it comes to managing stress, developing concentration and being more in control of yourself. I’ve had to watch for their subtle effectiveness. It’s not like flipping a switch. Instead, almost imperceptibly, the shift toward calm begins to occur. Then, when I am calmer, I am just calmer and I forget that it took some breathing to get there. The same goes for when I want to go to sleep at night. It doesn’t always work like magic to use a breathing pattern to go to sleep but when it does work, I go to sleep and I’m not awake to acknowledge that it took ten or twenty minutes of a breathing pattern to get there. Want David to help you create a calmer, more creative work-life? You can reach him at: drkegley.com or LinkedIn. Read more from David! David Kegley, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Dr. Kegley specializes in coaching well-educated, progressive leaders and executives who have been stopped in their tracks due to health setbacks. His doctorate is in theology and preaching. His first 25-year career was in the Presbyterian Church U.S.A., where he was a Pastor and Head of Staff. But, after getting nearly burned out, getting diagnosed with Prostate Cancer, and going through cancer treatment, he emerged as a credentialed coach. Now he Coaches in the areas where he experienced his own humility and growth: Health and Wellness, The Cancer Journey, Burnout Recovery, and Leadership and Executive.

Written by: Corey Jahnke, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. I was $536K In Debt When I got Fired And It Was The Best Thing That Ever Happened To Me! On December 27, 2019 I was having a spectacular day working at the hospital. I had spent the entire time connecting with patients, helping nurses, and consulting with doctors. It was a Friday afternoon, and I was nearing the end of my shift. I was super excited because my brother and his family had come in from out of town to celebrate Christmas with my parents and I. We had a lovely dinner planned at our favorite Mexican restaurant and I couldn’t wait to hear about the fabulous Disney World vacation they had recently taken. I was just finishing up a few tasks and updating my colleague on the status of a couple of post-surgical patients, when I heard the familiar phrase that always sent shivers through my bones, “You got a minute?”. Whenever I heard that phrase, I knew that my manager, the lady who had tortured, criticized, and berated me for nearly 5 years, had yet another petty little item with which to make me feel like crap about before the weekend started. Having no choice, I replied with a heavy sigh, “Sure” and began to walk towards her office for what felt like the nine hundredth time. But this time it was different. Instead of walking towards her office, she turned her back on me, and walked out of the pharmacy and heading down the hall at a breakneck pace. I had no choice but to follow her. Staying a solid 5 paces ahead of me, and showing no emotion what-so-ever, she entered a conference room, where sat the human resource manager, and the new director of nursing, who each had tears in their eyes. My manager sat down and as quickly and emotionlessly as possible began to read a statement that said that I was being “separated from employment” because my clinical skills “were not strong enough”. The previous director of nursing had hired me knowing my experience was in RETAIL pharmacy, but “needing me” for my leadership and customer service skills. However, she had recently left the company, thus opening the door for my exit as well. The next several things that my manager said sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown Special was talking. I was completely incapable of processing anything she said after the phrase “separated from the company”. There were a few procedural things that had to take place, and before I even knew what was happening, I was walking to my car, alone, with my possessions in my arms. I was still in a bit of a daze, but suddenly and without warning, I noticed a rather startling fact. For the first time in nearly 5 years, I felt BETTER. My chest didn’t hurt, and I could breathe. I mean, really breathe. You see, I had tried literally everything I could think of to please this woman, and it was never going to be enough. I was finally FREE. I mean really free. I had no idea what I was going to do, but I never had to see (or take shit from) this woman, ever again. My wife is a nurse, and she was on duty, so I didn’t call her because I didn’t want her to get distracted and make a mistake, so I did the only thing I could think of to do, I headed up the expressway to my parent’s house. I still had that dinner commitment with my brother’s family. Not wanting to bring the party down, I didn’t mention the day’s events at all that night. I mostly sat there in silence as my brother recounted the details of the vacation. It was such a weird experience. I could hear the words he was saying, but it was like they had no meaning. It was as if I had entered another dimension. For the first time since I was 9 years old, I was unemployed. On the drive up to my parent’s house, I became fascinated by the idea that for 44 years, I had been chained to someone else’s agenda. Someone else, had been in charge of MY LIFE for nearly half a century. BUT, in this moment, it seemed that no one was in charge of my life; including me. I was an observer. I was having something like an out of body experience. I could literally see myself from above the dinner table looking at this newly unemployed man that I knew quite well but couldn’t recognize. Eventually, the dinner was over, and as I readied myself for the sixty-mile drive home, I felt an overwhelming inner calmness. It was extraordinary. I was overcome with an unshakable, unmistakable, and unrelenting sense of peace. I had held on to what I had thought was my life so tightly, for so long, and now there was nothing to hold onto. In that moment, I was no longer exhausted. I was just there. It was cool. When my wife (Tonya) and I each arrived at home, I told her what had happened, and to my great surprise she said, “Thank God. That job has aged you tremendously, and you are no good to me dead!” When I thought about her statement, it occurred to me that there had been many times over the past few years when I had WISHED I was dead. I had been so tired of being pushed around and criticized by a person who nobody liked, and who was 20 years my junior, that I really hadn’t cared what happened to me. I just wanted “it” to be over. I started asking myself “WHY? Why had I stayed in a job that had made me feel so lousy and worthless?” The answer was obvious. I had made a few financial mistakes and I was $536K in debt. I believed the lousy story that the only way to get out of debt is to work, work, and work more. “But if that were true, I began to wonder, why was it that the more I worked, the deeper in debt I ended up?” “I visualized myself standing in a hole, with the world’s largest shovel, digging like a madman, only to learn that when you do THAT the hole gets deeper; about 6 feet deep to be exact.” That night, I lay awake, looking at the ceiling and replaying my life. I saw successes, failures, good times, and bad times, but I saw them from a new perspective. “What if” I asked myself, “What if I was in charge of my own life?”. “What if I made the decisions? What if I took the right actions?” And even though 5 years of emotional abuse had my confidence level at an all-time low, “What if I believed in myself for a change?” The next morning, Tonya asked me what I thought I was going to do. “Nothing”, I replied quietly. “DOING got me HERE I am so tired of RANDOMLY doing.” She looked at me nervously wondering what was going on. I asked her to please give me one week to THINK and PLAN before I did anything. She agreed. I got dressed and went out and bought a spiral notebook for 88 cents. I went to a coffee shop, plugged in my headphones, and started Pink Floyd’s “The Dark Side Of The Moon”. I was particularly interested in the songs “Time” and “Money” I took out my pen and on the cover of my notebook, I wrote: “What would my life look like if it were absolutely perfect in every way?” At the top of the first page I wrote, “It is now December 28, 2024 (the 5 year anniversary of the day I became an entrepreneur) and the following is now true… I wrote out my goals and dreams in vivid detail. I wrote the assets and strengths I could leverage. I wrote the names of the mentors and role models I could look to. I wrote out the books I needed to read. I resolved to learn everything I possibly could about time and money management from the experts in those fields. And finally, I wrote out a list of all of the things I was grateful for. There were FAR more than I was even aware of. I now had a plan, a blueprint, a roadmap, and a WHY. Two years later I am light years ahead of where I planned to be in five. Focus and concentration are beautiful things. My debts are paid off. My marriage is stronger than ever. I have a wonderful job and a growing side gig helping other burned-out health care professionals find financial and inner peace. I can breathe easier and I sleep really well. I am happy. And, I want the same for YOU. Maybe you could scrape together 88 cents and go start a success notebook of your own? If you don’t have 88 cents, email me and I will ship you a spiral notebook for FREE. And once you start it, let me know if you get stuck, or if you don’t. I would love to hear about your breakthrough thoughts and AHA’S. YOU are a valuable human being and I believe in you! Don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise! In your corner, Corey J. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Corey! Corey Jahnke, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Over the course of his highly successful healthcare career, Corey Jahnke has gone from getting killed to killing it. If you've ever felt like you were stuck, drowning in the day to day firefighting and being micromanaged, Corey can relate to you. After 30 years in healthcare, he finally found his way out of the doldrum experienced by so many; now, Corey helps others get reengaged much faster than he did. Typically, the people Corey meets in the corporate environment are right where he was – lost and, to some degree, disenchanted with their industries. But, here's what Corey found and teaches in his book, "The Successful Thinker": You can have peace of mind. You can keep your integrity You can spend time with your family and still be successful You can achieve spiritual and vocational life fulfillment You can make a meaningful contribution You can develop your creative imagination and make life FUN again If you're stuck in the corporate hamster wheel and your life sounds like Corey's did, Corey would love to have a virtual cup of coffee and help you get to your dream life. Corey@CoreyJahnke.com www.CoreyJahnke.com 715-651-6908 Book an Appointment @ https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=20763418&appointmentType=17149468

Written by: Nadija Bajrami, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. “Journey into the beautiful dream that is life…the end is only the beginning.” Brian WEISS ‒ Many Lives, Many Masters Let’s explore what Past Life Regression Hypnosis (PLR) is and how it can be an extremely powerful therapeutic tool and help you on a journey of personal growth. There are many conflicting views on whether this sort of experience is genuinely the result of recall from a past life. It could be a fantasy, or perhaps information subconsciously received during this lifetime. But whether you believe in the existence of past lives or not, it can be the catalyst for potent healing. Accredited Past Life Regression practitioners offer therapeutic Past Life Regression, and they use this modality to guide you to when you first encountered the root cause of a problem that you are currently experiencing or to have a better understanding of some things in your current life. You do not need to believe in past life experiences (even though it helps of course) but need to come to a session with an open mind as this type of therapy can be an extremely powerful therapeutic tool and help you on a journey of personal growth. So now let's go a bit more in details and see what Past Life Regression hypnosis is and how powerful of a tool it is when used in the right circumstances ad of course used the right way with appropriate therapeutic techniques. What is Past Life Regression hypnosis (PLR)? Past Life Regression is a technique using hypnosis and it is a gentle form of hypnotherapy which takes an individual back through time to previous life experiences by accessing memories that are normally hidden in their subconscious mind. Life today is so busy and so ‘noisy’ that these experiences are usually concealed beneath the noise of everyday thoughts. A PLR hypnosis session guides you out of the noise and into a deeply quiet and peaceful state where it’s far easier to locate the recalls and experiences held in your subconscious mind. Based on the theory that your reactions and the way you respond to problems are based in the past, Past Life Regression is a holistic therapy that works with a person as a whole ‒ not only the body and mind, but your emotions and spirit too. While conventional psychotherapy or ‘talk therapies’ can be very helpful for some people, they typically focus on the present life. But in some cases, particularly if you are dealing with an issue that seems not to have a direct cause, you may be unable to uncover the ‘source’ of the problem. In contrast, Past Life Regression hypnosis allows the client to unlock emotions and experiences stored deep within their subconscious. Past Life Regression hypnosis helps you explore potential past lives, and this process can help you to uncover personal stories that help to explain who you are now and some of your behaviours. It can help discover a root cause of an issue from a previous life, which is affecting you in your current life. We cannot suggest that the material arising from Past Life Regression or Past Life Recollection are actual memories of events that have taken place or that they are factual events. The information that comes to light is considered a story, or insights, or material or a metaphor that arises from the subconscious to assist you to resolve internal conflict. Your subconscious mind is so powerful that it will bring relevant material to help you in your current life. Accredited practitioners are not here to validate your experience but are rather here to help you get full benefit from the experience, to unravel the meaning and to help you move on. Past Life Regression, as well as other types of hypnotherapies, is an active therapy, whereby the client fully participates in the process. It is often claimed to be a full sensory experience ‒ clients will not only visualise situations, but they may be able to hear sounds as if they were in the room, as well as recalling specific smells. It’s also important to mention that there are two ways of experiencing Past Life Regression and no one choice is better than the other. It will depend on your creative mind and on which way you recall material from your subconscious mind: Witnessing: feels like remembering with being fully immersed in the recall, from the perspective of an observer, a spectator Experiencing: feels like being there and seeing it from the first-person perspective And sometimes clients might experience it both ways, for example, moving from the spectator perspective to the first-person perspective. Now let’s see what this type of hypnotherapy is used for. Some people hope to try Past Life Regression simply out of curiosity, to see who they were in the past. But for most, it’s a path for personal growth and healing. To enable you to get the most out of your session, it is helpful to have a specific ‘intention’. Accredited practitioners use Past Life Regression to guide you to when you first encountered the root cause of a problem that you are currently experiencing or to have a better understanding of some things in your current life. For example, a Past Life Regression hypnosis session can help you: Understand why you feel a deep connection with certain places Identify physical ailments you have, which may be remnants of past life experiences Explore unresolved emotions which have carried through into this lifetime, creating fears or beliefs which you have been unable to explain Understand any relationship issues (including inexplicable attraction/aversion to someone) Understand vivid dreams or recurring nightmares Understand fears or phobias that have no apparent cause e.g., fear of death, fear of flying... Understand déjà vu experiences Understand why you feel tuck in life Understand some bad habits Understand some addictions you might have Understand some activities you feel drawn to and that you actually are very good at doing Acknowledge and embrace the key lessons learned through those lives And many more... The aim of this therapeutic process is to help you make connections that you were unable to before - perhaps finally providing you with some explanation, or a sense of internal peace. There is no way of knowing for sure what you will experience during regression therapy, as everyone experiences it differently. Some people may see glimpses of several past lives, whilst others may delve into one in more detail, or discover repressed experiences from their current lifetime. It’s also important to mention that most of the time people experience one single past life experience. What techniques are used? There is a common misconception that accredited practitioners ‘perform’ hypnotherapy on a client ‒ but this is far from true. As previously mentioned, Past Life Regression, as well as other types of hypnotherapies, is an active therapy, whereby the client fully participates in the process. Very often, accredited practitioners use hypnosis to help clients relax and encourage them to open their minds. Other techniques such as suggestions, help to promote recall, and specific questions are designed to elicit statements and experiences of the client’s past lives. By examining the experiences that are thought to have first signalled the problem, accredited practitioners can help connect their client’s current issues to a past life. It is hoped that by undergoing this therapeutic process, you will be able to make connections that you were unable to before ‒ perhaps finally providing you with some explanation, or a sense of internal peace. It would be understandable to expect that past life regression might focus on negative events and emotions, in order to explore the root cause of a problem. However, this is not necessarily the case. Accredited practitioners always try to focus on the positive aspects of regression ‒ rather than solely focusing on traumatic memories. In this way, it is possible for Past Life Regression therapy to help you on a journey of personal growth. What typically happens in a session? When you receive a Past Life Regression therapy sessions, the accredited practitioner guides you into a relaxed state (hypnosis) and prompts you to recall memories from your past lives. In a session, you will also be guided through the death of that past life and into the realm between lifetimes. It is very important to guide you to the passing on scene. Indeed, the purpose of visiting the end-of-life scene is to heal the hurt that happened in that life, and move on, cutting any ties or any contracts you might have made in potential previous lives. Passing over creates the environment to heal that life and be released from it Therapists will vary in how they choose to conduct sessions, including how long each session will last, and the time dedicated to the regression aspect of the session itself. Usually, a full session of Past Life Regression hypnotherapy is enough, but of course, this will depend on the material that comes up in the initial session and if there is too much material, then further sessions are needed as we do not want to overload the work on the subconscious mind. A past life regression session with me usually lasts 2 hours. I will use the notes form our free discovery call that would have taken place before the past life regression hypnotherapy session is booked and will ask you more questions about your present life, and the issues you hope to resolve. I will also of course, explain how the session will be carried out and answer any questions you might have. We will work together to uncover recurring patterns that may be the cause of problems in your life. Having discussed the areas that, you are most interested in exploring, you are in a better place to look back into your past lives ‒ this will act as the focus or intention of the session. I will then talk you through relaxation steps to allow you to become deeply relaxed. This will allow you to access important subconscious recalls and experiences ‒ which may be from this lifetime, or from others in the past. Also as previously mentioned, it's important to reiterate that there is no way of knowing for sure what you will experience during a past life regression hypnotherapy session, as everyone experiences it differently. Some people may see glimpses of several past lives, whilst others may delve into one in more detail, or discover repressed experiences from their current lifetime. The important thing to remember is that you are a unique individual with a unique history, so your experience of Past Life Regression hypnosis will be equally unique. It is normal to feel unsure about where your experiences will have come from or wonder if you have made them up. But, as you become more comfortable with the process, these doubts will often fade. Is this approach right for you? Past Life Regression therapy, like many types of complementary therapy, is not for everyone. Past Life Regression is often linked to reincarnation. There have been claims that a belief (or at least an openness) in the existence of reincarnation is the greatest predictor of reporting recall and experiences of past lives. I just want to reiterate that people do not need to believe in past life experiences (even though it helps of course) but need to come with an open mind as this type of therapy can be an extremely powerful therapeutic tool and help you on a journey of personal growth. Past Life Regression therapy is typically thought to be best for helping people to explore a spiritual path and it is gaining recognition as a type of spiritual healing. But whether you follow a religion or not, it is thought that by experiencing yourself as a soul in other lifetimes, you gain a profound awareness that you are more than a physical body. Please remember that we do not know what will come out of the Past Life Regression session and you need to come with an open mind. Below, I have listed a few important tips for you when arriving for your Past Life Regression session: It's important to relax fully Avoid trying – trying is a conscious activity and will stop you from using the creative mind Trust your subconscious to bring to mind what they need to know and experience Allow the information to flow into your mind without questioning it, you can do that in the post-talk part of the session with the therapist During or after the session, you may feel like you imagined it or you made it up, this occurs because the conscious, rational part of your mind is trying to justify what happened and maybe struggling to make sense of the experience. This is a very common and natural thing to happen Avoid analysing what is happening during the session. The analysis uses different parts of the brain and will take you out of the experience Instead suggest you can immerse yourself in the experience Just go with whatever is coming up So, what is the next step after you have done a Past Life Regression hypnosis session? Past Life Regression hypnosis sessions often help you understand something in your current life and once you have that understanding, it is very important that you book some further therapy sessions to work on the specific issue or issues that come up after the Past Life Regression hypnosis session. See the Past Life Regression hypnosis as the trigger that then helps you work on an issue that has been preventing you from reaching your true potential and achieving your goals. the extreme power of a Past Life Regression hypnosis session lies in the fact that it gives you clarity and a better understanding on what needs to be worked on. Before carrying out any Past Life Regression work, it is of utmost importance to take the time and explain the whole process to the clients. It is important to discuss their needs and explain in depth what Past Life Regression hypnosis is, how it is conducted and most importantly what to expect and make sure that this type of regression therapy is suitable for them. Hope this gives you a better understanding of what Past Life Regression hypnosis is and how much of a powerful therapeutic tool it could be when used appropriately. Follow Nadija on her Facebook, Instagram, Linkedin and visit her website for more info. Read more from Nadija! Nadija Bajrami, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine French by birth, Nadija has lived in Scotland for 7 years and has travelled the world. After recovering from some serious health issues, Nadija had a wake up call and came to Ireland to find her path. She has been living in Dublin since 2017. Nadija is an empowerment specialist and holds a double diploma in Hypnotherapy, Mind Coaching and online therapy. She is dedicated to help her clients get empowered, supercharge their confidence and self-esteem, overcome their limiting beliefs as well as manage anxiety, symptoms of traumatic experiences and helps people on their grief and healing journey through her therapy, coaching and spiritual work.

Written by: Steven Nathenson, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. “I feel disconnected from everyone.” “People only reach out to me when they need something.” “Remote work is just not the same. I miss the connection from being in-person” “I have too many meetings, emails, and messages!” “I have no idea what my people are working on or, if they’re even working at all!” These are the most common sentiments I’ve heard from leaders in all types of organizations across multiple sectors and multiple countries. Have you thought any of them yourself? If you have, you’re not alone! As a whole, work across the world has fundamentally reverted back to being transactional. We are overloaded, have ever-changing priorities, and don’t have the time! Because of it, when we interact with others, we want to get in, get out, and be done with it. We’ve limited how we communicate and interact with others to the bare-bones necessities to keep the needle moving forward. The simple trick that gets us over all of this is: making work personable again! We crave in-person interactions and getting back to the office because it reinjects the “personal” touch back into our working relationships. “Cooler talk,” catching someone in the hallway, stopping by someone’s desk, to name a few, are key examples of non-work-related personable interactions that don’t exist in the remote world. However, they can, and that’s the key we are going to explore further – how to make our remote working world a personable one and less transactional. The Challenge We Have to Overcome: Being Transactional To understand the challenge we’re facing, let’s start with a fill in the blank scenario. Where do the words “people” and “task” go in the two blanks below? Leadership is ____ oriented. Management is____ oriented. Before reading on, where do you think each word goes? If you answered “Leadership is people-oriented,” and “Management is task-oriented,” then you’re spot on. This simple exercise gets to the heart of the key difference between the two concepts. Leadership deals with truly invoking people to take action whereas management is simply delegating and getting tasks done, devoid of the human element. In other words, management is solely focused on completing a transaction, i.e., “I assign you this work, you get it done.” Have you ever said or heard? “You need to do this.” “Go do your job.” “I don't care how you get it done, just do it!” These are all prime examples of managing rather than leading. These statements don’t care about the individual, they only care about the task; there’s no personal touch. It doesn’t inspire others, engage them, or even drive them towards action because it’s missing connection. Reclaiming the Personal Touch: Leading Instead of Managing Now that we truly understand the challenge we’re facing, let’s explore how to actually overcome it. To start, let’s talk about leadership for a moment. What is it? Can you define it? Can you speak your definition right now as you read this? Were you able to confidently speak your definition of leadership without hesitation? Did you perhaps start to define it, stop, think about it for a bit, start over only to stop again, struggling to find the right words? If so, it’s okay! Leadership is hard to define because it’s a concept we’ve created as human beings. We all inherently have an understanding of what it is, however, we often have a hard time putting it into words. To help with this, I’ll share my definition of leadership, which is: “The ability to inspire others to be a part of something greater than themselves.” What causes me to define leadership in this way is, true leadership tugs on people's heartstrings. It speaks to their values and what is meaningful to them, powerfully evoking them to take action. It makes them feel like they are a part of something bigger than themselves - a greater fulfilling purpose. In order to do this, we need to be able to connect with people, truly relate to them, and understand what motivates them. Moreover, we need to inspire them by being who we are, leading by example, and not just talking the talk but also, walking the walk. When we do this, our people will willing do what’s asked of them (and more) not because we’re telling them to do it, but because they want to do it. This is the power of connection that only comes from truly leading people. While we are all beholden to certain goals, benchmarks, or OKRs, there's a multitude of options to achieve them. If we're purely transactional, we're going to see what we've seen over the past two years ‒ we're going to see the disconnect between us and those we lead, resulting in mass resignations. Afterall, there is truth to “People quit people, not jobs.” Unless we're willing to truly look inwards and ask ourselves: “Am I leading or am I managing,” we won’t solve this problem. How to Make Work Personable Again Now to the heart of it! As leaders, we have the opportunity to greatly impact those around us and shift the transactional nature that has riddled our organizations’ cultures. At a high level the concept is fairly simple: lead instead of manage and care about people instead of treating them like they don’t matter. However, at a tactical level, it can seemingly be hard to implement, feeling like we’ve tried a number of different things to no avail. However, there are easy actionable steps we can take as leaders to make work personable again. They are: Harness a mindset that naturally creates a more personable culture; Re-define how we interact with each other virtually; Create agreements; and Acknowledge we’re all in this together! Harness a Mindset That Naturally Creates a More Personable Culture For us, as leaders, how we think about work greatly influences the example we set for others and the culture of our teams. We’re all human, and our circumstances influence the way we think about what we have to do, what we think about the day ahead of us, and how we feel about work as a whole. Over the past few years, the leaders I’ve worked with have all expressed a similar story: “I don't have clear direction. I have too much on my plate. I’m in meetings back-to-back all day long and I’m still expected to accomplish everything else that I have to do on top of that. I don’t feel like my boss cares that I'm getting very little sleep, up and working early in the morning, and logging off late at night!” All of the above, especially in combination, have a significant impact on our mindset. For example, we may rush through a conversation with someone because we just don’t have the time. We may cut short a one-on-one or cancel it all together for the same reason. And, we may even stop reaching out to folks unless we need something from them. All of this stems from our mindset. If we think we don’t have the time, we won’t make the time. As a result, we create a disconnect between us and our direct reports that dehumanizes work by making it purely transactional. How do your conversations go with your direct reports? Do they sound something like this? "How are things going? Is this done yet? What do we need to get it moving on?" When our mindset is solely focused on accomplishing tasks, e.g., managing, we naturally interact with others in a purely transactional manner. This is something that others pick up on. While they may be willing to forgive an instance or two, it does wear on them and will dis-engage them as it becomes the norm. So, how do we shift this mindset? The answer is, truly caring about our direct reports as people, not just task achievers. Right now, you might be thinking, “Steve, I do care about them as people!” I don’t doubt that! The question here is, do we actively embrace that and let it come to the forefront or, is it overshadowed by everything we’ve discussed above and the overwhelm that exists? It’s quite easy to fall victim to this and allow our care for others to subconsciously take a back seat because we put more emphasis on getting the work done. The leaders who have been successful in maintaining a personable work culture over the past two years have made a considered effort to catch up with their direct reports not for work, but for personal reasons. They’ve asked about what's going on in their direct report’s lives, asked about their direct report’s families, and helped their direct reports through challenges. These leaders have actively made the effort that says, "I'm not reaching out to you just for work." Let’s consider telemarketers for a moment. Why don’t we like them? It’s because they don’t listen to us, don’t try to get to know us, or seem to care about us. They simply follow a script to try to sell us something. In other words, they reach out to us purely to get the sale, e.g., for a transaction. If, on the other hand, they started off by building a bond with us, connecting with us, and showing true care for us, we’d feel differently about what they are selling. It’s no different with those we lead. If we want to make work personable again, we have to be personable ourselves and take that first step to show others the way. It all starts with our mindset. If we truly care about others, prioritize our bond and relationship with them, and harness that mindset going into our interactions with them, we will engage them and make work personable again. A few actions you can take to harness a mindset that makes work personable again are: Set an intention each week to connect with your direct reports on a personal level and note what that looks like. For example, a quick text about their kids, seeing how they’re feeling from being under the weather, an impromptu telephone call in which you share a story that makes them laugh. Prior to interacting with you direct reports, take a moment to embrace the intentions you’ve set for the week. Having them top of mind makes it easier to ensure we are truly connecting and leading versus just managing. Create a visual reminder that represents the kind of personal connection you want with your direct reports and keep it within your field of view throughout the work day. This makes it easier to have our intentions top of mind. Re-Define How We Interact With Each Other Virtually Let’s take a stroll down memory lane for a moment. Before the pandemic, we had the tools and means to meet virtually when we were in the office. Do you remember that time? How did you approach those virtual meetings? If they were a video call, did you turn your camera on? Perhaps, you thought: “I'm not going to turn my camera on because I don't need to listen to this meeting. I'm going to use this time to do things I need to get done and I don't want people seeing me doing it." If they were a telephonic conference call, did you put yourself on mute? Was it for the same aforementioned reasons or maybe so you could have a side conversation with someone? In each of the scenarios above, our mindset dictated our actions. The meeting was either important enough for us to be fully present or not. It’s no different than the virtual meetings we have now. How we approach meetings mentally dictates how we behave during them and whether we have our camera on or off. When a meeting is important for us, we have our camera on, we’re engaged in the conversation, and we send a clear message to the other participants in the meeting. The same is true for the opposite scenario when we don’t have our camera on. It sends a message that feeds disengagement and depersonalizes our connection with the other meeting participants. To understand this, let’s flip the script. How do you feel when other people don’t turn their camera on? Do you feel connected to them? Do you feel slighted as you have your camera on but they’re not willing to return the favor? Do you enjoy talking to a blank screen? As human beings, we don’t enjoy conversations in which we perceive someone is not as engaged or invested in the conversation as we are. It’s the same as if someone is clearly on mute and doing things in the background, delaying their responses back to us, if they even respond to us at all (because they’re preoccupied with what is more important to them) We feel slighted because they’ve prioritized something else over paying attention to us. In short, these kinds of interactions lead to depersonalization and the transactional feeling we currently have. In addition to the above, there’s a subconscious disconnect which exists when others don’t turn their cameras on during a video call. Our brains are inherently expecting to see the faces of whom we are talking to and, when that doesn’t happen, it registers that something is off between what was expected and what we are experiencing. This feeds the feeling of being disconnected, depersonalizes the conversation, and creates the transactional nature of work we’re currently experiencing. It also doesn’t give our brains the non-verbal cues we naturally crave during communication. Did you know it’s estimated that 60%-65% of our communication is non-verbal? Not having these cues can lead to misunderstanding someone’s intentions. For example, was that statement a serious one or were they being sarcastic? Someone’s facial expressions help us make that determination. it's incumbent upon all of us to think about what message we are sending to others when we turn our cameras off and how we're currently interacting with others virtually as a whole. With the above contributors to a transactional work environment, here are simple action steps that will create connection and make work personable again: Have your camera on and have others turn their cameras on as well during video calls to ensure everyone gets the visual cues we naturally want and overcome the hurdles discussed above. Start video calls off with good engaging energy by welcoming people into the meeting, talking with people on a personal level (or about a shared experience/interest – this always build connection, i.e., the local sport’s teams latest win), to set the tone for the meeting. People naturally feed off of the energy the meeting leader exhibits at the onset of the meeting. If it’s full of negativity, just going through the motions, or rushing, we create the hurdles we’ve discussed. On the other hand, if it’s upbeat, engaging, and personable, we will overcome the hurdles we’ve discussed. If you're speaking to groups, use gallery view to see as many people at once that you can during your video call. If you're presenting, (depending on the software you’re using) set up your screen and move your videos in gallery mode so that you can see others while you're presenting. This allows us to watch and feed off of people’s reactions. In addition, stopping the screen share at certain points during a presentation regains a face-to-face connection with others that makes the virtual presentation more personable. Create Agreements As you read the section above, did you think: “I can’t do this! “People don’t want to turn on their videos.” “My direct reports don’t have the time and aren’t interested in small talk.” If you did, you’re not alone! We face very real challenges from others to create the personable virtual connection we discussed in the last section, such as: people don’t want to have their cameras on, people are tired of meeting via video, and people are outright tired of meetings, period! Because of it, we try to be very cognizant of not forcing people to turn their cameras on and respecting what we feel makes them comfortable. However, in doing so, we are often left frustrated because we miss out on the connection from seeing others and interacting with people who are truly engaged in the conversation. When faced with this conundrum ‒ how to re-engage our employees during virtual meetings ‒ we often think about what we feel will be helpful and try it. Sometimes we’re right on the mark and other times, more often than not, we’re left wanting, wondering why nothing is working. In both cases, we glance over the one true thing that will create the solution we are looking for – creating a mutually agreed upon solution. in others words, creating agreements; actually talking with and asking our teams what is best for the whole of the group versus presuming we know what’s best. In order to create agreements that will make work personable again, let’s first explore some of the many reasons why we don’t want to turn our cameras on during a video call. For example, “I'm not feeling well today,” “I don't want to others to see my house,” and “I didn't shower this morning." If we step backwards for a moment and think about when we were in the office and ask, “Would these reasons fly in the office?” The answer is no. And, that’s not meant in a negative, judgmental, or condescending way, it’s simply an illustration of a disparity that exists between being in the office and meeting virtually. If we open up the above disparity, we’ll find that there is an underlying unwritten rule which exists about our edict at the office. It is expected, based on societal norms, that we dress and act “professionally” in the office. When we’re virtual, however, we are removed from that environment which triggers that expectation. Instead, we are in an environment where we are used to relaxing, letting our hair down, and being our true selves versus our work selves. This feeds into the disparity that leads to behavior we wouldn’t otherwise get away with in the office. Another distinct difference to note between our work and home environments is, our homes are our homes. They’re not our offices. Some of us may not have home offices or even the space for one. This too plays a very real role in whether or not someone is comfortable turning their cameras on during a video call. With all of this in mind, we now truly understand the context we need to successfully create agreements with our teams that will make work personable again. To do so, we need to prompt the conversation with them. One such way to do this is: “I had a few ideas I wanted to run by the group to get your thoughts on regarding how we meet and interact virtually. Are you open to discussing these?” The keys to this prompt are that we use the words “I” and “group,” and we end with a question that asks for their buy-in. This does three things. The first of which is, we avoid language that makes people naturally defensive, i.e., the word “you.” The second of which is, we address them as a collective whole via the word “group” which lets them know we want everyone to be a part of the discussion. And, the third of which is, we are psychologically getting them engaged in the conversation because of our question at the end. By asking this question and having them give us their consent, they are inherently agreeing to have the conversation (naturally engaging them in it) versus being forced into a conversation they don’t want to have (naturally disengaging them). The setup is also an agreement in and of itself, and is just as important as the agreements you’re going to discuss. A few common tried and true areas to create agreements around that get over the challenges we’ve discussed are below. How meetings are run ‒ Bringing our direct reports into the conversation about how to best conduct our meetings gives them more ownership of them and engages them in it as they’ll be run in a way that works for them. For example, do we just get down to business or do we spend time on the “small talk?” The way we meet ‒ While video gives us a distinct advantage to communicate effectively virtually, it’s not our only option. If our direct reports are “Zoomed out,” we can meet by phone. Zoom, Teams, WebEx, etc. can all still be used to meet with everyone simply dialing into the meeting versus sitting in front of their computers. We can even coordinate a walking meeting that allows everyone, should they want, to get out and move around. In meeting conduct ‒ We no longer have the “commute” to and from meetings that we would in the office where we could use the restroom or eat a snack. Now, we hop from one meeting to the next by the click of a button, not leaving time for, quite frankly put, basic human needs. Giving heed to these human needs can go a long way to making work personable again! Specifically, allowing people to eat and drink in the meeting, and scheduling 25, 40, and 55-minute meetings instead of 30, 35, and 60-minute meetings which allows for restroom breaks in-between meetings. Acknowledge we’re all in this together! Today, we aren’t living work-life balance, we’re living work-life integration. Our home lives and work lives are intertwined more than ever. “I wake up, get to work, eat, go back to work, eat, work some more, go to bed, and repeat.” Sound familiar? Remote work has blurred the lines between life and work because they now both happen in the same place, getting rid of the natural boundary we previously had. When we worked in an office, we had to commute to and from it. This gave us a natural separation between life and work because we had a clearly divisible start and stop to our work days in two distinct locations. Now, however, that no longer exists. As we talked about in the last section, there is a difference in what our environments prompt within us. We tend to be more comfortable at home, less “professional” as we feel we’re free to be our true selves, and view it as our private personal space we may not want to share with those we work with. None of us are alone in this! We’re all in this together as this is natural for human beings to feel this way! This acknowledgement, of our shared humanity, is the last key to making work personable again. As leaders, we can use this to create psychological safety and comfort which reclaims the personal touch we are desperately seeking. One of the most powerful phrases in the English language is: “You’re not alone.” It creates relief, acceptance, and peace. We feel relieved that we aren’t the only ones who face the struggles we have. We accept that it’s okay to feel the way we do because we aren’t the only ones who feel this way. And, we feel at peace because there’s no longer a dark looming cloud hanging over us that we can’t escape from. All of this comes from knowing that we are in fact human, just like the other approximately 8 billion people on this planet. Even more powerful than telling someone they aren’t alone is showing them. This, is what we can do as leaders! When we feel wanted, cared for, and are given permission to be who we truly are, it creates the psychological impact we discussed above. Moreover, it engages, us, motivates us, and drives us. If we harness our people first, we’re going to naturally get what we need from them work-wise. Here are a few ways that we can show our direct reports they are not alone and acknowledge we are all in this together: Be real and open; show “the mess.” We don’t always have a home office or an ideal place to meet virtually within our homes. That’s okay! If we show our direct reports this, they will feel much better about their own similar situations. The same can be said about our kids and pets. If we acknowledge, recognize, and distinctly call this out, we can set the stage that naturally puts others at ease and embraces the common humanity we all share. The simple phrase of "I've got kids and dogs that may pop-up from time to time during our call” goes a long way! We can also lead by example and bring our kids and pets into the picture to show our direct reports its okay. After all, actions do speak louder than words. Our kids and pets may not be the only things that can pop-up during our meetings from home. We may have deliveries, workers fixing something in our homes, and even outside noise that we can’t control (i.e., lawnmowers, construction, etc.). Showing our direct reports that we understand this by sharing when we face this too also goes a long way. It Takes All of Us! Making work personable again starts with us! Our own mentality influences our behavior which in turn influences the interactions we have with others, the way we communicate with them, and the culture we create. The influence and impact we have on others as leaders is not to be underestimated. It can drive change within our organizations or keep things the same. Which way it goes is actually up to us! It all starts by asking ourselves: “Am I purely transactional, causing disconnect and disengagement, or am I truly inspiring others to be a part of something greater than themselves which spurs meaning and purpose?” Using the simple yet powerful tools we’ve discussed will make work personable again, re-engaging and re-invigorating our employees. All it takes is a little human connection. What are you going to do to reclaim that connection today? Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Steven Nathenson, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Steven Nathenson helps leaders master their mindset to increase their focus, confidence, and performance while motivating others to do the same. As a Leadership Development Coach and former FBI Special Agent, his coaching helps leaders and their teams thrive through challenges and achieve ambitious results. Steven began his career as an engineer in the energy sector and went on to become a Special Agent with the FBI. After a successful career with the FBI, Steven took his passion for helping others into the world of coaching. Since that time, he has coached leaders, athletes, and students of all levels in more than 105 organizations in the public and private sector within 8 different countries to date. Steven holds two master's degrees in engineering and organizational development and leadership. He has received two United States patents, five awards for his investigative work as a Special Agent, and competed at the national level in triathlon. However, he is proudest of the success he helps others achieve. Life has taught him that people are at the heart of everything; and by taking a human approach, we can make our goals and desires a reality. This lesson forms the very core of his coaching philosophy which centers around developing individuals and organizations through mental mastery and core components of human nature.

Siguna Industri og Marine Aps is a Danish company that offer high quality oil filters. There is good reason to keep an eye on the Danish filtration brand, especially if you work in the maritime or industrial sector and operate with engine power. Siguna Industri og Marine Aps has more than 30 years of experience in the filter industry and is a preferred supplier among countless customers, who work with engine power on a daily basis. At sigunafilters.com you can see and read about the many filtration solutions the company has to offer. This both include industry oil filters and marine filters in premium quality. An industry filter designed to keep your engine running Engine power and engine maintenance are two crucial areas for companies and manufacturers operating in the industrial sector. Having an engine that works and runs smoothly is essential to maintain an effective production flow. Siguna Industri og Marine Aps has developed a range of high-quality industry oil filters, made to protect, and prolong the life of your engine. An industry oil filter from Siguna Industri og Marine Aps is tested to perform and deliver at all times, securing maximum protection and power for your engine. See and shop the selection of high-quality filters at sigunafilters.com. Siguna Industri og Marine Aps have been an OEM to the industry and marine sector for more than 10 years. The company has a history of long and loyal partnerships and some of them have even been trusted partners for more than 20 years. Siguna Industri og Marine Aps are known for their high level of customer service, offering both personal guidance and instruction as well as fast delivery time. The company delivers oil filters to companies all over the world and has suppliers located in central Europe, UK and Asia. Marine filters designed to perform Siguna Industri og Marine Aps also offer marine filters compatible to a wide selection of engine types. A marine filter from Siguna Industri og Marine Aps is dirt and capacity tested and has proven to reduce the amount of grime and harmful particles in your engine by up to 30 %. Are you considering replacing your current filter solution with a marine filter from Siguna Industri og Marine Aps? Don't hesitate to contact the company today and let their professional staff help you to find the right marine filter for you.

Written by: Katie Stoddart, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. The initial concept of transformational leadership came from James MacGregor Burns in the late 70s. The idea is that the “leaders and followers” make each other advance. Transformational leadership is often contrasted with transactional leadership – where the leader directs the followers towards a given result. In this article, I will cover the five fundamental traits of transformational leadership. Self-Leadership: Key To Transformation Self-leadership is a natural part of transformational leadership. A transformational leader has great self-awareness, can understand their triggers and emotional patterns. From this knowledge, they better understand people around them and communicate effectively. As they are highly invested in learning and growing, they are motivated to better comprehend themselves. Such leaders are proactive, and innovators in their field. Through better managing themselves, leaders develop resilience, perseverance, emotional intelligence. Such skills are a great advantage when leading a business and a company. A few essential points to keep in mind when it comes to self-leadership: It is the most underestimated type of leadership that is often the most necessary. Many external leadership challenges (motivating a team etc.) are resolved when a leader works on their self-leadership. Self-leadership combines awareness, reflection, and adapting. Learning to adapt the behavior and response to external cues. Most people are somewhat reluctant to work on their self-leadership because it means confronting inner resistance, traumas, and fears – this explains why self-leadership is so powerful. Unleashing Potential in Others In contrast with transactional leadership, transformational leaders care and show their care through one-one interaction. Though it is unrealistic to imagine that they hold one-one with everybody in their business, there is a deeper sense of caring for the team. Through this caring and intellectual stimulation, leaders support others to reach their potential. ‘Transformational leadership’ is a transformation for the people, the business, and even the leader. This transformation – or great change – is enhanced through the freedom and stimulation that the leader provides to the employees. To unleash the potential in others: Have open and honest conversations with each member. Be vulnerable and trustworthy so they can open up more easily. Build on the strengths of each employee – the more a person works in their zone of genius, the greater their performance (and fulfillment) will be! Create a powerful company culture, so that each person is encouraged and supported through the culture. The Power of Motivation Transformational leaders motivate through their positive energy, enthusiasm, and care. One can sense the passion they have for a project or a business idea. In contrast with transactional leadership where the motivation is mostly related to self-interest. As a result, people want to follow them, to participate in that vision and be a part of it. Motivation comes from a combination of great self-leadership, inner belief, and a clear vision. Though motivation can be seen as a feeling that varies, there is a deeper source of motivation that is always present: an inner drive that contributes to the company’s growth and progress. Inspiration as a Role Model As a leader inspiration is part of your function. Though inspiration and motivation have a lot in common, they are not the same. Inspiration is that fuel that will motivate others. For instance, a part of inspiration is being a role model. This term can seem overbearing, yet the idea of a ‘role model’ is straightforward. A role model, simply put, is the ability to incorporate the values & behaviors that are inherent to the company. Let’s say that the company believes in: transparency, reliability, and generosity. Then, as the leader, you need to show through your actions that you are transparent, reliable, and generous. This shows integrity and provides trust and inspiration to the employees. To embrace being a role model: Be clear on the values and behaviors that are essential in the company. This comes from having a very clear company culture to build on. Notice when you are not acting with integrity and rectify it. Being aware of your behaviors (self-leadership) and able to modify your behaviour will not go unnoticed! Ask for feedback from the employees so that you can learn what you need to work on. This is the most straightforward way to improve being a role model. The Vision to Move Forward Inspiration, motivation, unleashing the potential in others are all facilitated with a strong vision. The clarity of the direction creates movement and momentum. It is also easier for a leader to guide a business and others when they are clear on their goal. Being able to communicate your vision clearly – and share your enthusiasm for your business is essential. The vision is what distinguishes you from other businesses – people can feel a purpose, a sense, a meaning behind the words and actions. The vision is part of your USP, part of what sets you apart. A few elements are necessary to make a vision compelling: The vision must be aligned with the company culture & values. If there is a lack of alignment, people will feel it and lose motivation to work towards this vision. The vision needs to be reviewed at least once a year as the company changes, evolves, and grows. The vision & purpose are directly correlated. Vision creates purpose and the purpose (or mission) contributes to a powerful vision. Overview of Transformational Leadership Though each leadership style has its advantages and inconveniences, there is a lot to be said for transformational leadership. The beauty of transformational leadership lies in the mutual growth of the leader and their followers – it is a virtuous cycle of growth, co-creation, and progress! From this cycle, perseverance is strengthened and new depths can be reached! If you want to lead your business through a powerful transition and take it to new heights – transformational leadership might be just what you need to get there! For more info, follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, Twitter and visit my website! Read more from Katie! Katie Stoddart, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Katie Stoddart, founder of ‘The Focus Bee’ is an award-winning, international, high-performance coach, speaker and podcast host. Katie supports leaders and business owners to reach & sustain peak performance in their business. For her weekly podcast ‘The Focus Bee Show’, Katie interviews leading experts in high performance. Passionate about living intentionally; Katie challenges each and every person she works with to re-focus on what matters most. Katie works primarily with entrepreneurs & executives through 1-1 coaching & workshops on: Focus, Leadership & Performance.

Written by: Paul Corke, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. “Believe in your dreams and that anything is possible.” – Usain Bolt In life and work your mindset is critical to your success. Whether you are starting out in your chosen endeavour, to being experienced at what you do, how you think and the beliefs you have will drive the behaviours you display and your outcomes in life. Mindset = ‘A set of beliefs or way of thinking that determines one’s behaviour, outlook and mental attitude.’ What we now understand from researching and studying the most successful people is that the mental side of what they do is just as important as the knowledge or skills that they have. Your mindset will have been shaped by your experiences in life and what you have been told by the people you have trusted in your life. Your mindset is a collection of thoughts and beliefs that define your mental attitude, disposition, habits, that then predetermine your behaviour, reactions and responses to the events and circumstances you face in life. If we don’t step back to think about our mindset and how our mental attitude is shaping what we do, then your predominant thoughts at the time will shape your life. This can be good dependent upon what those thoughts are, but it can also be bad if those thoughts are based on negative or disempowering beliefs about yourself, others or the world. Where Mindsets come into play… In everything, we do we will have beliefs about what is possible, our chances of success and the outcomes of any given situation. Our mindset will impact everything we do, how we think about a situation, which in turn will influence the outcome. And when we control our mindset we can then truly understand the art of what is possible… In the 1950s, Curt Richter, a professor at Johns Hopkins, placed rats in a pool of water to test how long they could tread water which was the famous drowning rats psychology experiment. This experiment although deemed cruel demonstrated the power of a change in mindset and thinking. In his initial experiments, the rats would explore the bucket of water before treading water for roughly 15 minutes before they gave up with exhaustion and sadly would then drown. In another round of the experiment before they gave up the scientists would take them out of the water, dry them off and let them rest before putting them back in the bucket. And on this second attempt how long do you think they lasted? Most would probably think after being close to exhaustion maybe another 15 minutes or less but no they could tread water for up to 60 hours! Curt Richter said “the rats quickly learn that the situation is not actually hopeless and after elimination of hopelessness the rats do not die.” Because of what the rats thought was possible and their belief that they would be rescued they could push their bodies so much further than before. The art of what is possible is what you think is possible. Translate this to Humans… So then we take an explorer and no ordinary explorer in Erik Weihenmayer and let me tell you what he has achieved. Erik Weihenmayer, born in New Jersey in 1968, and has conquered the seven summits amongst other adventures. On May 25, 2001, Weihenmayer climbed Mount Everest and for this feat, he was honoured on the cover of Time Magazine. Time stated, "There is no way to put what Erik has done in perspective because no one has ever done anything like it. It is a unique achievement, one that in the truest sense pushes the limits of what man is capable of." Why when so many climbers have done the same thing? When Erik was just four years old when he was diagnosed with retinoschisis, a rare disease (sometimes hereditary, sometimes of unknown origin) resulting in the progressive loss of sight. By the time he was just 14, Weihenmayer was completely blind. Yes, Erik has climbed most of the highest peaks in the world and he is blind!!! The art of what is possible. We are continually evaluating our life and what we think is possible which in turn shapes our beliefs about ourselves, others and the world we live in. Having the right mindset for any given task along with an empowering and positive outlook will enable us to overcome any obstacles in our way especially if we believe we can achieve so much more. What we do need to do is remove any negative default settings and beliefs we have about what is possible. And by taking the time to consider and enhance your mindset on the art of what is possible, it is then possible to change the actual results you want to achieve in your life. “What’s within us is stronger than what’s in our way.” – Erik Weihenmayer Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Paul! Paul Corke, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Paul Corke is an author, keynote speaker and considered to be a leading expert on mindset, innovation and leadership. He is currently recognised as No 1 Health and Wellness Thought Leader & Influencer with @Thinkers360 and is also the Managing Director of Leadership Innovators an innovative leadership consultancy. He previously spent 25 years in the corporate world with award winning results specialising in organisational effectiveness, employee engagement, talent management and leadership development with experience in UK, Ireland, Europe, US and Middle East. Paul is the author of Reframe Your Mindset: Redefine Your Success, has a podcast series to support the book and has created The Mindset Journal all based on what he calls ‘The Mindset Equation for Success.’ Paul uses his research into mindset and positive psychology along with the thinking from his books to provide thought leadership, leadership model design, leadership assessment and solutions to help organisations build their leadership capability. Paul has successfully built leadership development strategy and provided solutions in the industries of Financial Services, Retail, Automobile, Charity, Information Technology, Education and Local Government. His mission is to develop leaders the world now wants to see whilst also making a difference through B1G1working towards the UN Global Goals to help those in need across the world.

Written by: Sara Davison, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. According to researchers at Cedars-Sinai in Los Angeles and Cleveland Clinic – ‘Broken Heart Syndrome’ is a thing. They have found that emotional stress can actually bring on a serious heart condition – and this surged during the pandemic increasing from 2% to 8%. What’s more, it seems the condition is especially common among women and postmenopausal women make up 90% of stress cardiomyopathy cases according to the American College of Cardiology. Data is still being gathered and doctors are looking more into the connection between the brain and the heart but claim that the syndrome is brought on by a physiological response to emotional stimuli. Heartbreak is all consuming and has a ripple effect across your whole life. A breakup is known as the second most traumatic life experience after the death of a loved one and it triggers similar symptoms to grief. It can feel like the end of the world and that nothing can make it better. It prevents you from sleeping as your mind whirs away until the early hours, your concentration will be diminished and working will be a struggle, it will have an impact on your ability to parent well and your ability to do even basic daily tasks. On top of this it can have a devastating impact on your body too. “It actually feels like a real physical pain in my chest… I’m in agony and I can’t do anything apart from cry. I don’t think I will ever feel happy again” sobbed Hannah, a new client on my clinic sofa last week. Her boyfriend of three years had announced over dinner that he had fallen in love with a woman at work. He had packed his bag and walked out that night and left her utterly heartbroken. So how does heartbreak affect the body? 1. Your brain thinks you are physically hurt – heartbreak is an emotional injury although it feels as if you have been punched hard in the stomach and winded. Some people feel it in their chest and for others, it seeps throughout their body. But whilst there is no real physical injury, your brain will tell your body that the pain is real. 2. Your body will be on a binge or an extreme diet – When heartbroken you either binge eat or eat nothing. It will depend on how you cope with sadness and loss. Some people will be so upset and anxious that they can’t even think about eating and the very thought of food makes them feel sick. Others will cope by eating their feelings and using food as a distraction and comfort. It’s a fast way to either gain weight or lose weight – unhealthy either way. 3. Your body will be flooded with stress hormones – This can be a real shock to your body after the good feeling of being in love when it has been inundated with the neurochemicals dopamine and oxytocin, making you experience feelings of happiness and pleasure. Stress hormones can make you feel lousy, sluggish, tired, and anxious. You may get headaches, feel nauseous and lack energy to do simple tasks. 4. Heartbreak can trigger depression – You will experience deep sadness as you grieve the end of the relationship which meant so much to you. Low energy and apathy towards life can be debilitating and negatively impact all areas of your life and also those around you. 5. You will isolate yourself – You will want to cut off from others and wallow with chocolate and Netflix. However, this is the complete opposite to what your body needs you to do. It needs you to get back out there to be able to recover and get those dopamine levels up again. The challenge with heartbreak is the negative impact it has on your body and the ripple effect this causes it totally normal. In fact, you have to go through this excruciating process to enable your body to heal and let go so that you can move forward in a healthy way. If you stuff your negative feelings down and refuse to face them you will be dragging this emotional baggage forward with you into new relationships. So whilst it can have a devastating impact, it is only temporary and a necessary evil for you to heal. There are some things you can do to speed up that healing process so it’s important to be proactive and take back your control again. In fact, if you want to attract the right partner for you then this is a great time to start to shift your focus from your broken heart to creating a better future for yourself. It’s important to take some time to consider what your ideal partner would be now that you are single again. Here are my top tips: 1. Learn from your past mistakes – Don’t beat yourself up about them but take them on board so that you don’t repeat patterns that don’t work for you. Take responsibility for becoming aware of what works best for you. 2. Work out what you NEED from a partner not just what you WANT. It’s easy to identify physical traits that you are attracted to but it’s important to look deeper than this. For example, do you need a partner who can talk about their emotions and feelings? Or someone who can cheer you up when you feel low? 3. Rediscover your identity now you are single – Work out what makes you tick and what drives you now you are single? During a relationship, it's common to lose a sense of self and now is your chance to find out who you are again at this point in your life. 4. Don’t look for a partner to fix the gaps in you – It’s important to learn to love yourself just as you are and not look for someone to save you. You are enough as you are and you are good enough to find love again. 5. You don’t have to put pressure on to find Mr or Ms Right ‒ It's ok to look for Mr or Ms Right Now instead and they can be an important part of rebuilding your confidence again! Enjoy the process of dating again and reduce the pressure but treating it as fun and a great way of meeting new friends. Remember that it’s not what happens to you in life that defines you, it's what you do about it that makes you the person you are. Although heartbreak is a painful experience it is a hugely important learning opportunity if you’re willing to listen and learn from it. You can take your experiences and use them to improve and enhance your life moving forward. Heartbreak can give you the chance to redesign your life just the way you want it. You only live once so it’s important to make the most of it. Want to learn more from Sara? Follow her on Facebook, Instagram, Linkedin and visit her website. Read more from Sara! Sara Davison, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Sara Davison, best known as ‘The Divorce Coach’, is an award-winning authority on break-ups, divorce, and life empowerment. She’s the best-kept secret of society’s elite with a client list that spans actors, politicians, and sportsmen from all over the world. A twice bestselling author (Uncoupling, The Split), Sara’s empathetic and holistic coaching style empowers individuals to take back control and positively transform their lives. As a CDC Certified Divorce Coach, NLP Master Practitioner, and qualified hypnotherapist, Sara combines 20 years’ coaching experience together with her own personal experience of marriage breakdown to create bespoke coaching programmes; from banishing heartbreak and conflict resolution to confidence building, co-parenting, being effective in the workplace during divorce and dating again. Coaching is tailored to suit client’s lifestyle needs; from one-to-one private coaching at Sara’s clinic or by home visit, to the immersive group environment offered on her highly acclaimed Breakup Recovery Retreats – right through to online video courses which can be completed in the comfort and privacy of people’s homes. Sara made a name for herself having launched the UK's first-ever Break-Up Recovery Retreat, dubbed as ‘Heartbreak Hotel’ securing rave reviews across national media. Such was the impact of Sara’s Breakup Recovery Retreat that the concept was also commissioned for a TV show, “Heartbreak Hotel’ with Sara starring as the expert. The last year has seen the continued expansion of Sara’s thriving global business and brand. Following the launch of Sara’s Breakup & Divorce Coach Practitioner Accreditation Programme, Sara has now created a coaching community of 180 Divorce Coaches spanning 13 countries and five continents. The training programme is designed to help those interested in becoming a coach as well as existing coaches who want to take their business to the next level. Sara equips delegates with the same tools, techniques, and strategies she acquired when training with the most revered experts in the field of personal development including Anthony Robbins, Paul McKenna, Richard Bandler, Michael Neill, and the Barefoot Doctor. Within the community Sara has firmly cemented her reputation as the go-to expert in the field of domestic abuse, joining forces with The Dash Charity as their charity patron. At government level, Sara also consults on marriage and divorce legislation, most recently the divorce law reform with The Ministry of Justice.

Dr. Hanan El Basha is the Founder of The Business Doctor, a boutique business growth advisory firm headquartered in London, UK. She is an Empowering Business Strategist supporting aspiring entrepreneurs and SME business owners build and grow sustainable and profitable ventures through practical actions and strategies. Dr. Hanan has approximately 25 years of professional experience, most of which spent within small- and medium-sized enterprises (SMEs) including 11 co-founding and running startups herself. She is also the Senator for Egypt with the World Business Angels Investment Forum (WBAF), the Co-Director of the Founder Institute – Doha Chapter, the world's largest pre-seed startup accelerator, and an Advisor with Loyal VC. Dr. Hanan is a holder of a Doctorate of Business Administration (DBA) in International Business specializing in “Internationalization for the Sustainable Growth of SMEs” and an MBA in Marketing as well as being an Accredited SME Consultant. She hosts her own podcast Empowered to Grow. And, Dr. Hanan has been dubbed “Dr. Feel Good” and even the “Oprah of the Middle East” following tens of appearances on webinar and podcast discussions talking about topics that constitute her mission: empowering women in business, startups and SMEs, sustainable growth, entrepreneurial mindset, and wellness. Inspired from her own healing journey, she is passionate and dedicated to the topic of health and wellness built on learnings from her certifications as an Integrative Nutrition Health Coach and a Metabolic Balance Coach. Dr. Hanan El Basha, Founder, The Business Doctor Introduce yourself! Please tell us about you and your life, so we can get to know you better. I am Hanan El Basha, an Egyptian living in Qatar with my husband and our 11-year old son. I am a Third Culture kid having been born in Kuwait and a long-term expat having lived ¾ of my life away from my home country Egypt. I have been shaped by being raised, and thereafter living, in a multicultural community that enabled me to connect on a core, human level with everyone I cross paths with. I am passionate about learning, enabling, communicating, sharing knowledge, and facilitating transformations which have gradually translated into my professional mission. I believe that I am a perseverant person with unwavering determination once I set my heart and mind to working towards a specific goal. These personal traits were pivotal in my academic pursuits as I earned my bachelor's, master’s, and doctorate degrees in spite of quite a few hurdles including health scares. They have also shaped me into a lifelong student, and permitted me to keep an open mind to my learning and professional exploration such as moving from completing a doctorate degree in business to enrolling in a health coaching certification and transitioning from a corporate career to co-founding four businesses across a number of industries. To relax, and reach a state of flow, I love building Lego sets, puzzles, and painting by numbers. What is your business name and how do you help your clients? I am the Founder of ‘The Business Doctor’ and I like to think of myself as an Empowering Business Strategist. The Business Doctor is a boutique business growth advisory firm headquartered in London, UK, providing services to select clients in the Middle East, Europe, and North America delivered via a distinguished team of experts across the globe. The Business Doctor services focus on supporting sustainable growth for small- and medium-sized enterprises (SMEs), and implementing prosperous entrepreneurial infrastructure for start-ups. What makes our offerings unique, is that our focus is not only on supporting our clients with the most practical, and tailored strategies and solutions towards achieving their subjective goals, we also place special emphasis on empowering the person behind the business as a human and as an entrepreneur. I also have active roles with World Business Angel Forum (WBAF), Founder Institute, and Loyal VC which I utilize to support aspiring and existing entrepreneurs and the entrepreneurial ecosystems within the Middle East. What kind of audience do you target your business towards? With a vision to actively advocate for and empower women to build strategically aligned and profitable businesses, The Business Doctor’s mission is to support SME and start-up leaders build profitable, sustainable businesses that positively impact their customers’ lives and their economic ecosystems. That would include those looking to address the business’ bottlenecks, capitalize on growth opportunities, and using internationalization to grow and scale the business. Who inspires you to be the best that you can be? Everyone in my life inspires me, including me inspiring myself! When I stop to reflect on everything that has happened to get to this point in my life, I take a moment to appreciate myself and the work I have put in across the years. I also acknowledge and pay respect to every person whom I crossed paths with who influenced me, positively and negatively, as they contributed to the evolving version that is the ‘me’ of today, and for them I am grateful. I am also inspired by the great Maya Angelou’s advice that when I know better, I strive to do better. And I have used this to work towards becoming the best version of myself that I can manifest; advice I pass on to our son at every opportunity. What is your work inspired by? I am inspired by the notion, that translated into my business’ slogan: Empowered You, Empowers Others. I believe that each person is at the center of a ripple impact effect; and you get the choice in whether that impact is a positive one or a disempowering, negative one. If you happen to be transmitting positive empowerment, then you are empowering the next person who impacts their direct circle, and that could be one person or a million people (accommodating our digital footprint reach nowadays). Hence, once I set out to work with one person, I am actually setting the intent to positively impact that person and the magnitude of their ripple effect, be it their family members or their economy at a whole. And that inspires me to keep doing the work, and putting in the effort to reach, and positively influence, as many people as I could. What are your goals for your business? My goal over the next 5-7 years is to support 100,000 women across the globe build their sustainable and profitable passion business with thriving lives alongside. That will entail building solid business foundations as well as fostering entrepreneurial mindsets geared towards finding and capitalizing on opportunities. I am also putting in the work supporting the entrepreneurial ecosystems in the Middle East on a number of fronts, hoping for further enablement of womenpreneurship, augmented efforts of financial inclusion, and reduction of gender disparity. Tell us about a pivotal moment in your life that brought you to where you are today. A coaching session back in March 2018 with David Foster, which happened to be my first coaching experience ever. He stopped me 30 minutes into the session to highlight that I had been using this statement over and over again without noticing: “…(not) good enough…”! This was the biggest AHA! moment of my adulthood. I realized that up until that point, 2 weeks before officially earning my doctorate degree, 20+ years of professional experience, and 2 months shy of my 40th birthday, that I had been living my life racing to achieve and to accomplish out of lack, and in pursuit of external validation. From that point on, I have been on an exploration journey transforming my initial need for external validation towards a desire for internal gratification and fulfillment. I redefined my subjective success parameters accordingly. And, I found my calling in supporting my friends and clients work on that switch for themselves too. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info!