Manuj Aggarwal is one of the global leaders in artificial intelligence with 4 patents in AI. A troubled home and relationship troubles led Manuj to a depressed state. Manuj decided to turn his life around through meditation, spirituality, and understanding how our mind creates our reality. He has since dedicated his life to helping others unleash their true potential. He is the CEO of TetraNoodle Technologies, an elite technology consulting company. TetraNoodle incorporates mindfulness and behavioral science in every technology project. TetraNoodle's clients include hundreds of startups and Fortune 500 companies like Microsoft, IBM, ING Bank, Pearson Education, and more. Manuj Aggarwal, Leading Expert In AI and Startups Introduce yourself! Please tell us about you and your life, so we can get to know you better. I was born in India and started my career at 15 working in a factory for $2 a day. One summer day, while at my lunch break, I was going through some business magazines. Reading the amazing success stories of some of those business tycoons ‒ gave me a unique inspiration. I wanted to do something better with my life. That's when I found my passion for technology, computers, and programming. And, since then, I've been helping many startups and large enterprises build unique technology making an impact on humanity, building software for education, healthcare, and many other industries. I have two boys and love to spend time with them. Besides that, I am a super curious Persian who loves to learn every day. So I read a lot. I am also deeply interested in other peoples’ stories. I host a top-rated podcast – Bootstrapping Your Dreams Show. I love having conversations with people about their life journeys. And I'm also the community leader for the startup community – Startup Vancouver. When I find time, I love traveling. I love visiting historical places and learning about our history and ancient wisdom. I'm particularly interested in Buddhism and have visited many monasteries. What is your business name and how do you help your clients? My company name is TetraNoodle Technologies and we use Data Science and Artificial Intelligence to help our clients achieve exponential growth. We look at their operations, their sales, their marketing, or any other department. And we provide solutions that are backed by data so that they can make more objective decisions rather than rely on gut feel. What kind of audience do you target your business towards? We work with decision-makers (CEO, C suite executives, etc.) who possess the following values: They have clear goals and objectives. They are open to new ideas and perspectives. They are willing to invest time, effort, and resources in their growth and development. They have a positive attitude and outlook and are open to criticism. What are your current goals for your business? Data and Artificial Intelligence is going to change the world while changing the way we conduct our business. And our goal is to bring this power of data to as many companies as possible. Our immediate goals are to sign up 50 corporate clients and 200 individual clients in 2023. What would you like to achieve for yourself and your business in the future? We want to use the power of Data and AI, to help millions of people grow exponentially in a way, and empower them to impact millions more in their own right so as to create a data revolution. We believe that data and AI have the key to bringing long-term prosperity and peace to this planet, and that is our long-term mission Who inspires you to be the best that you can be? You know who really gets me motivated? Elon Musk. The guy is just so inspiring. He's got these huge, crazy dreams and even though people might think he's nuts, he just goes for it, full throttle. He never gives up, no matter how much criticism he gets. It's pretty amazing if you ask me. What is your work inspired by? My work is inspired by the lack of clarity and connection that humans have in this day and age. And I believe that connection, clarity, and relationships are the key to solving some of the biggest problems that we are facing today. And technology and artificial intelligence can truly make a difference in that in solving these problems. Tell us about your greatest career achievement so far. I've had some pretty amazing opportunities in my life. I have come a long way from the dingy factoryfloor in India. Today I am considered one of the leading experts in the field of AI. Recently I was awarded Brainz Global 500 award for my contributions in the filed of business, startups and AI. I sit on the boards of several universities and companies, helping them design and implement the next generation of systems I've had the honor to share the stage with some pretty big names, like Muhammad Yunus, A Nobel Peace Prize winner and Ban-Ki-Moon, the Secretary General of the UN. And, I've also had the honor of interviewing some of the most well-known people in the world, like General David Petraeus, the former director of the CIA. The cherry on top has been getting to talk to and learn from Olympic champions, sports stars, and even some movie celebrities. It's definitely been a highlight of my career so far. If you could change one thing about your industry, what would it be and why? I've noticed in the tech industry, It seems like everyone is just so focused on the engineering side of things, and not enough on the human skills and soft skills. And honestly, a lot of engineers don't even realize that just having technology for the sake of having technology is kind of pointless. The real power of technology is in how it can help people solve their problems, right? And that's why I wish more people in the industry would put more focus on things like communication, understanding people's needs, and creating a good user experience. I think if we put more emphasis on those aspects, we'll be able to create even more powerful and useful technology. Tell us about a pivotal moment in your life that brought you to where you are today. There's been a couple of moments in my life that really stand out as being major turning points for me. The first one was when I was flipping through some business magazines, and it just hit me that I wanted to do something more with my life. I remember thinking to myself 'this is it, this is what I want to do.' But the second moment, the one that really changed me as a person, was when I became a parent. Holding my first child in my arms, it was like everything shifted. I realized that life is so much bigger than just my own wants and needs and it drives me to work harder and be a better person. Follow me on LinkedIn, Twitter, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Manuj!

Written by: Ashlea Taylor-Barber, LMFT, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Recently, I was asked to speak at the Diversity Alliance Conference on the subject of Addressing the isolation, trauma, anxiety, and uncertainty resulting from the pandemic. I was asked to marry what I know about the connection between mental health and the black community; then discuss key takeaways for employers and employees regarding techniques or skills they could readily implement. It took me a minute to figure out what I wanted to say as I was asked to create a few slides for an hour-and-a-half presentation along with me being asked questions by a moderator. Ultimately, I ended up with, well, a little more than a few slides lol! My excitement and desire to not only educate but facilitate impactful change showed through my tenacity in the creation of my presentation. The moderator and audience were engaged, and personally, I was on fire with excitement! Since conference participants felt the content was engaging and my passion was transmitted to them, I wanted to share with Brainz Magazine readers what lit us all on fire at the conference. Part One! Trauma: How does it work? I have learned on my journey that while trauma has become a buzzword, most people do not understand how trauma works. I liken trauma to exercise and a healthy lifestyle journal. When we hear the word “exercise” or “lifestyle journal”, we know this entails us doing some physical activity or eating healthy; however, when we commit to this process, we often do research to understand how this process will be beneficial for us. Therefore, just like you need to find effective exercise methods and learn how to lead a healthier lifestyle, trauma is the same way. You need to understand trauma in order to truly process and eradicate it. So, here we go! Your brain is like a set of drawers. When you walk into my office and see the big burgundy couch, your brain opens a drawer that says seating. Your brain progresses through many questions before you actually sit down to determine if this is where you would like to sit. Examples of these questions could be: Is this couch hard or soft? Can I plop down on it because it's soft or is it hard and made out of wood? Is it clean or dirty? If you are with a group, is there enough room for everyone to sit on this couch? The result is you decide to sit down or not to sit down and your brain moves on to the next scenario to process. This process is hindered when a traumatic experience presents itself. When you experience trauma, the trauma interferes with the process of identifying a drawer or making a new drawer that helps you move forward with an informed decision. Instead, your nervous system kicks in because a threat is detected. The nervous system takes the lead, your higher-level brain functioning moves to the passenger seat, and your body leans to its chosen threat trauma response: fight, flight, freeze or fawn, in order to survive the events. Flight is Physically – the blood rushes to the extremities such as your legs and arms which are used to run away from danger in order for you to survive. The blood coats your important organs for survival. Mentally – You are anxious, deflect, change the subject, gaslighting or manipulate to remove yourself emotionally from the situation that has been identified as not safe for you. Fight is Physically – the blood rushes to the extremities such as your legs and arms that you need to survive so you can physically fight. The blood coats your important organs (heart) for survival. Mentally – You blackout and possibly say obnoxious things you wouldn’t normally say. You go for the “jugular” or you share brutal honesty. You might say the truth that no one else will say or you would not normally say if you were not aroused or triggered. Freeze is Physically – the blood coats the organs that are important for survival and your body physically freeze in its tracks”. The extreme case of the freeze stress response is Catatonia. Catatonia is a behavioral syndrome marked by an inability to move normally and is a state in which someone is awake but does not seem to respond to other people and their environment (Catatonia | Royal College of Psychiatrists, n.d.). Mentally – You dissociate. Your mind protects you by taking you to a place where you aren’t emotionally processing the trauma because your body knows that if you were in the present moment, your physical body and/or your mental capacity would be broken to a detrimental point. Fawn is Physically – You stay in a traumatic or abusive environment to avoid conflict, you will do things at all costs to avoid conflict such as agreeing with an abuser/conflictual person and try to gain their approval. Your body is in a constant state of stress response as you focus on the unhealthy survival coping skill of keeping the peace. Mentally – You people please to avoid conflict in the traumatic environment as a coping skill to establish some safety and keep the threat (person causing anguish or trauma) from triggering a trauma threat response in you. You ignore your own feelings and need to avoid conflict. You have difficulty making decisions and shut down (Fawning & Trauma | Charlie Health, 2022). The nervous system has two parts: the sympathetic, which includes the threat response, and the parasympathetic, the rest and restore response. Ideally, we want to function mostly in the parasympathetic nervous system, which in summary, is the rest and restore state where our organs can function with the correct amount of oxygen, blood flow, and with each organ doing its assigned job. In contrast, if someone is operating in the sympathetic nervous system and remains there, this can produce prolonged stress hormones to be exerted in the body called cortisol which often can lead to disease. I always say dis-ease equals disease. This phenomenon is its own entity, thus, it calls for its own article, so we will save that more extensive discussion of disease development for later. However, for the sake of this article, disease in the context of the sympathetic nervous system leads to the popular statement: "the Body Keeps the Score" which is also a book by Vessel Van der Kolk. Essentially, this statement denotes that even if we can't always cognitively process the trauma we are experiencing, our body may still experience it and often will begin to show signs—referred to as psychosomatic symptoms. These are physical symptoms such as headaches, stomachaches, shoulder or back pain, or any other type of physical pain that cannot be explained by doctors. The physical root cause of these systems often cannot be found because it is a result of prolonged or high-impact stress and trauma. This example can be seen as many people have developed these psychosomatic systems in the post-COVID era. Now that the major stress and trauma has begun to subside, your body can come off alert but the aftermath of a prolonged time in the threat response, if you are even out of it, has played a role on your current functioning. This can manifest as anxiety, more need for control, depression, and health problems. You may also be experiencing brain fog, difficulty concentrating, irritability, lack of patience, increased hypervigilance, inability to relax or difficulty executing tasks as efficiently as you once did before (Perry et al., 2022). How does trauma look in real life? Let’s say the client or your employee witnesses the murder of his best friend during a traffic stop. Upon witnessing this traumatic experience, his threat response was flight so he ran away from the scene. After he was safe, he may have experienced grief, guilt, shame, blame, or bargaining. This leads him to make the decision to stop driving, quit his job, and quit school. He also starts to experience flashbacks of that day followed by headaches. His jaw locks at night and he has frequent digestive problems now. Furthermore, he starts smoking recreational weed to alleviate the physical symptoms and, more frequently, numbs his thoughts by drinking and playing video games all day. We know the client has symptoms of depression because he is going through the grief process of anger, denial, bargaining, acceptance and sadness. Before he decided to quit school and his job, the quality of his work declined, he avoided task, he had difficulty focusing, he was frequently absent, he had conflicts with employees and his motivation diminished. . How does this look like for someone who has symptoms from living through the pandemic? Ultimately, during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic, many people had to move into a prolonged state of fight, flight, freeze or fawn. This prolonged activation of the sympathetic nervous system occurred with the hope that the pandemic would end someday despite the reality that the number of deaths increased and access to everyday essentials decreased. Many people never had to experience such a high level of uncertainty along with enduring such tragedy and devastation. Knowing what we have learned about trauma, our expectation that people can return to a level of pre-trauma functioning, especially in the workplace, is ridiculous and unrealistic. Most people at some point in their career have had to overlook how they feel and prioritize their career over the quality of life and work-life balance. However, the emotional and physical bandwidth that many people had before the pandemic has decreased while the effects of prolonged stress within the sympathetic nervous system have increased. This shift in people’s life course can be correlated to what mainstream media has referred to as the “Great Resignation, as well as, the preference of work environments that offer work-life balance and space for mental health days and realistic stress relief efforts. People have been spread thin and are looking for a better quality of life. For many people, their job may not make the cut depending on how they are treated, how they feel they are valued, their hope for potential job growth, their quality of management and coworkers, or their benefits which include insurance and incentives in their work. So where does this leave us? What do we do? The complicated part is that the pandemic and the trauma that has manifested because of the pandemic have affected everyone. It has impacted you, your coworkers, your employees, your family members. There isn't one refreshed person to lead the way. Everyone is trying to get their bearings. With that said, the first step is to get your nervous system to calm down with coping skills. Coping skills can be accessible in both the office and at home. Coping skills need to be implemented consistently—weekly and throughout the day, if possible—with the goal of moving your nervous system into the parasympathetic response and changing the pattern in the brain to move to rest and restore and away from survival. Your goal in finding coping skills that work for you is to find a coping skill that automatically allows your body, without you having to think about it, to release tension with an excerpt of breath leaving the body, your shoulders moving into a comfortable position, your body feeling relaxed, and your mind being at ease. This can happen while you take a walk and watch the butterflies or watch a clip of a funny movie on your break. Another goal is to make a self-care calendar that you can realistically follow throughout the week. Those of you who have children can incorporate this into your schedule as a family activity. This will prevent you from having to look for extra time and, in turn, you are simultaneously teaching your children how to regulate their nervous systems as well. I have included a list of easy coping skills below. The store, Michaels, is a great place to find little trinkets, like a stress ball or a crafting project to give your nervous system some relief throughout the day. Meditate or pray during your work breaks Do yoga stretches in your seat at work Listen to music Light a candle Color or engage in any type of art or crafting projects Roll play-doh or a stress ball in your hand Eat for a minute and just sit quietly for a few minutes Take a walk and look at nature Watch videos of animals Pet animals Listen to beach sounds while you work Have lunch with a friend Get a massage or facial Go bike riding, swimming, or exercising The goal with identifying a coping skill is to think about: What makes you feel calm? What makes you smile? What makes you feel safe? What makes you feel loved? Part Two to come! Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, Twitter, and Youtube, or visit my website for more info! Read more from Ashlea! Ashlea Taylor-Barber, LMFT, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Ashlea (Taylor) Barber is an independently Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Systemic Consultant & Therapeutic Speaker. Known as the Therapeutic Black Mary Poppins, Ashlea focuses on eradicating the root of the problem by helping folks move through life transitions, dysfunctional generational patterns, trauma and race based issues with a specific Niche in working with African American Women and Trauma. As the CEO of the therapy & consulting practice Favor & Grace Under Fire PLLC and Speaking Favor and Grace LLC, Ashlea helps folks find peace instead of fear with Favor and Grace. References: Catatonia | Royal College of Psychiatrists. (n.d.). www.rcpsych.ac.uk. https://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mental-health/problems-disorders/catatonia Fawning & Trauma | Charlie Health. (2022, December 13). www.rcpsych.ac.uk. https://www.charliehealth.com/post/is-fawning-a-trauma-response-what-you-need-to-know Perry, B. D., Szalavitz, M., Szalavitz, M.P.B.D.A.R.W.W.B.T.A.D. &, 978-0465094455, 0., Szalavitz, M. P. B. B. L. F. B. D. &, & 978-0061656798, 0. (2022). The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog, 3rd Edition & Born for Love By Bruce D. Perry & Maia Szalavitz 2 Books Collection Set. Basic Books/WmMorrowPB Ltd. Van, B. M. D. (2022). The Body Keeps the Score & Workbook for The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel van der Kolk M.D Paperback – JAN 2022 (Standard Edition). Generic.

Written by: Anne Hellgren, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Using self-awareness and the Law of Attraction, this article will provide you with great relationship advice on how to manifest a better relationship whether you are in a relationship, or single and looking for your ideal partner. As a Relationship Coach, I’m often asked “How do I attract the right kind of a person into my life?” or “How can I make my relationship better with my partner?” I have found that these two questions have one fundamental thing in common the need to know who they are authentically at their core and understand what their needs are. Without knowing who you truly are, and what truly makes you happy, you cannot really expect to know what you need in a relationship or in an ideal partner. Let’s first look at what we mean by self-awareness. According to PositivePsychology.com, “self-awareness is the ability to see yourself clearly and objectively through reflection and introspection.” This means our ability to know who we truly are, our good, bad, and everything in-between. We can do this by taking the time to honestly and objectively examine our wants, needs, values, and beliefs. I think this should be done while considering a couple of influencing factors. For one, we are all preconditioned by our upbringing, society, culture, and religious or spiritual beliefs, amongst many other factors. This is true for everyone to some degree, no matter who you are and where on the planet you live. There are many benefits to having self-awareness, in and out of our intimate and non-intimate relationships. For example, it can make us better communicators- not just with others but with what we say to ourselves too. It can increase our confidence, self-control, self-esteem, empathy, and decision-making process. These are all great benefits to having self-awareness, so the question is, how can you use self-awareness to attract your ideal partner? How can you improve your current relationship so you have a happier and more loving relationship? Have you experienced or are currently experiencing some of the below thoughts or feelings? I can’t find the kind of partner that I want. Things always go wrong in my relationships. I’m not 100% sure what I want/need in a partner or relationship. I’m feeling lost and tired in my relationship. I’m sick of dating the wrong people or having dysfunctional relationships. Here are 3 key points that will help you on your journey to a more loving, fulfilling, passionate, and desired relationship! 1. Understanding who you authentically are and determining the feeling you are after. Too often we get into relationships before we even truly understand who WE are. If asked, how many of us truly know who we are when stripped of the unwanted programming of culture, society, upbringing, etc as mentioned above? How much of you is authentically you, as opposed to who you are expected to be, or are told you should be and behave? Only when we do this work and strip all these norms placed on us by others, do we really show up as who we really are. I believe that part of gaining self-awareness also means being able to identify what feelings you want to experience within yourself and in the relationship itself. Take the time to determine what those feelings are for you. This is powerful and can really give you self-clarity which will shift how you show up in all areas of your life! Listen to episode 2 of my podcast, The Love You Want- It starts with you, titled “Why You MUST Have Self-Clarity in Your Relationships!” 2. Understand the difference between your Wants vs Needs. During coaching, I will always ask my clients “What do you want in your relationship?” Typically the client will make a list of what they think they want. I then ask, what do they NEED? And the confusion on their face is apparent, as they seem to be the one and the same thing. I explain that what we WANT is a long list - no judgment. But what we NEED is usually different though it can be formed from our want list. Our needs are things we must have in the relationship to be happy and fulfilled. These are qualities, values, attributes, behaviors, etc that form what we consider essential in a relationship. These are things that we should not negotiate on. Without our needs being met- we are headed for frustration, resentment, and ultimately separation. Our wants on the other hand are things that would be desirable but if lacking, would not have a fundamental impact on the survival or happiness of the relationship. These we can and often should negotiate on, or at least be flexible on. So for example, if religious faith is not very important to you, but is for your partner, then you might allow your partner to raise your children in their faith. However, if your religion forms a core of who you are and how you want to raise your children, you may want to clearly communicate this as one of your needs. And preferably as soon as possible, not 5 years into the relationship with a pregnancy bump… If you would like some help around understanding who you truly are and getting clarity around your wants vs needs, please schedule a time to speak with me here. 3. Create your best future self One of the most famous proponents of the Law of Attraction was Abraham Hicks. She explains that every thought you have, positive or negative, creates a vibration that attracts things into your life. In the same manner that we wish to attract better jobs, more money, better health, success, etc we can also use it to attract the kind of relationships we desire. However, the Law of Attraction also states that we attract what we vibrate. So to attract happy and loving relationships, we must first work on being in a place where we can radiate happiness, love, and everything else we wish to attract. Sound like a lot? It may seem difficult but being able to get clear on what your best future self looks like, then working on yourself to attain those traits and values is a good start. This will help you get clarity on who you need to be to attract what you desire in return! Remember, the universe gives you what you focus on and what you believe about yourself, not necessarily what you ask for. If you or anyone you know has struggled in finding your ideal partner or is struggling in your current one, please reach out to me at anne@annehellgren.com or find out more about my coaching services on my website. If you are unsure of whether Relationship Coaching is right for you, please feel free to listen to this episode of The Love You Want Podcast on Why Seeking Professional Help When You Need It Is A Must! Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Anne! Anne Hellgren, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Anne is the Founder of Anne Hellgren Coaching, a Relationship Expert, Certified Coach, Board Member & Podcast Host. She helps people live fulfilled, successful, and joyful lives through their relationship with themselves- and others. Her expertise has helped her clients to gain the Confidence, Clarity, Communication, Connections, and Mindset that have changed their relationships and many other areas of their lives. Her Podcast 'The Love You Want- It starts with you', has a global audience and is ranked as one of the most shared podcasts globally by Spotify. Anne works with her clients on a deep level because she has experienced most of what she helps others through. Her own life experiences of past bad, abusive, and toxic relationships, as well as a contentious divorce, provide a level of understanding and empathy that is much valued by those she helps. She has combined her life experiences with her qualifications, that is, an MSc in Occupational & Organisational Psychology, a BSc in Counselling Psychology, NLP, and Time-Line Therapy practices, amongst other qualifications, to create very impactful and empowering coaching programs. Being able to create bespoke programs for her client's exact needs is one of her many areas of expertise.

Written by: Maxine K. Brown, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. It’s the beginning of the year, and who has joined the gym to get back in shape for the year ahead? You want to ensure that your body works to its best possible ability. You feel better when your muscles are working correctly, and you feel invigorated and able to tackle whatever happens going forward. Then why don't you use a coach for your mind? Because at the end of the day, your brain is a muscle too. You don't think twice about going to the gym and asking a coach to give you support; they tell you how to use the machines that will benefit you and make a difference in how your body feels. They will provide exercises to ensure your muscles are working correctly within your body. That muscle in your head, which is your brain, which encases your mind needs support too. So, the ideal person for you to find is a life coach. These people will support you in finding the best way to enhance your life and see the future more clearly. The majority of the time, it's YOU who will find the solution. The coach will support you while you chat about what concerns you. They will empathise and listen to you but will not give you the answers you want, which is what friends and family tend to do. But the right coach will keep asking you sometimes tough questions until you can see the light at the end of the tunnel and feel more settled about your life and how you will tackle things in the future. Now and again, we all get a blockage or a life challenge that we need support with. You should never feel that it is weak or wrong to ask for support, as REMEMBER YOU ASK FOR SUPPORT FROM THE COACH AT THE GYM. Doesn't this NOW all make sense? One of the essential things to do, though, as you would at the gym, is to have a taster session. You want to ensure that you have chemistry with the life coach and feel comfortable chatting with them. If this doesn’t happen, you will most likely not get the results you need. Follow me on Facebook, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Maxine! Maxine K. Brown, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Maxine has for many years been completing different coaching and counselling courses to enable her to help people that are going through challenging times. She specialises in grief and bereavement support. She started MKB Life Coach to give affordable support to others. She has personally been through loss, a marriage breakup, and complicated times throughout her life, so she can relate to you even though no person’s situation is the same. She aims to assist people in enabling them to continue with their lives and feel happy and content when they have struggled through life-changing periods of their lives. Her values are to be supportive, empathetic, and affordable always, and she wants everyone to feel safe when they are either in a one to one or group session with her. Recently she has published a self-help book, “31 Days Life Changing Journal”, which is aimed at helping people change their mindset and start to become positive after going through a traumatic time. Maxine believes it is essential that you feel at ease with her when you are working together, so with this in mind, she offers everyone a free hour meeting.

Written by: Marc de Bruin, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. As a counsellor and coach, I mainly speak about ways to improve our lives and find more effective ways of dealing with our mental health issues. Today, I thought I’d try a different counselling tack, and provide you with 10 sure-fire ways to feel and keep feeling absolutely miserable for the majority of your life. This article will be split into two parts. This is part 1: the First Five. “Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so.” ‒ John Stuart Mill Why do I want to write about this? Well, because many counselling clients and other people regularly seem to keep arguing for their limitations, trying to convince me that ‘nothing’ is going to change (even though they came to counselling for change). These arguments often take the form of ‘yes-buts’; ‘it doesn’t works’; ‘I’ve tried thats’; or ‘you don’t understand’. I actually DO understand (I’ve been in plenty of similar mindsets and circumstances myself, over time), yet also know that life CAN change for the better; and often does. Nevertheless, to validate Debbie Downers and Donnie Dooms (counsellors need to validate their clients’ concerns), I have decided to provide you with ten ways to ensure you will not feel much better, and will most likely feel worse over time. I have plenty more than ten tips available, and will probably look at those in other articles. Check the below (and part 2) out and see if they work for you. Unless you want to live a more meaningful and effective life, and stop arguing for your case. Then please stop reading here, and leave part 2 alone. If you’re looking to maintain your negative mood and feeling, here are the First Five Ways to do so. Don’t take responsibility for your actions or events in life This is one of the best tips I can give you. If you are serious about consistently feeling miserable, then disavow your words and actions, and blame others or other events. Deny any responsibility for your emotions and behaviours ‒ it wasn’t you who caused you to be angry; it was other people and put the cause of what happened in the hands of other people or circumstances. It was the economy; it was your parents; it was the alcohol; it’s because s/he said something; it’s because I got treated badly; someone else started it; reasoning like that. Keep pointing fingers elsewhere. All very good ways to offload personal responsibility, and to also keep your happiness and well-being dependent on other people’s behaviour and uncontrollable life events ‒ which generally means very little happiness will come your way. Compare all you are, do and have achieved to everything and everyone. There will always be someone who is (or has) more than you, or has (or is) less than you. The best way to apply this tip to feel bad, is to first compare UP. Comparing yourself with people who have achieved more, are in better circumstances, or seem to be what you desire to be will no doubt make you feel discontentment, jealousy and envy. Even better though, it will make you feel shame: the sense of not ‘being’ enough. You’re not a good human. You have failed in some way, shape or form. At least life has failed you. Comparing DOWN works well, too (especially after comparing UP). Looking at how other people are worse off, and how your life is actually immeasurably better, will guaranteed ‒ bring on feelings of guilt, shame and entitlement, along the lines of “I shouldn’t be feeling this way”, or “I shouldn’t be complaining”. Be careful with this one, though, as it could bring on feelings of gratitude and appreciation as well, which might offset your gains in feeling shame and guilt. Listen, and I mean REALLY listen, to your inner critical voice, and to the advice and comments of other people, especially pessimists. If you want to lose all your optimism quick-smart, try and see the world the way pessimists do. Follow their advice and tips to prepare yourself for short-term or long-term danger, and to make arrangements to deal with the trouble that is surely lying ahead. Also link in with their complaints and gossip, and their ideas about how things “used to be better”. Allow them to drain you of valuable life force energy by looking at things negatively. Also, best used in combination with the former, abide by the rules set by your inner critical voice. Don’t ever go against its instructions, even though these are mostly contradictory (it will often tell you to do something, and then scold you for having done so or not good enough). Contradiction is the whole point, as you want to feel as conflicted and powerless as you can by your inner voice’s advice. You’ll feel totally miserable within no time. Try and please everyone. And rely on validation from others to feel good. This one works well, too. Trying to please everyone will undoubtedly lead you to situations where you will have to disappoint one to please another (e.g., saying yes to 2 social engagements with close friends ‒same day, similar time and then having to cancel one of them). It will also allow you to feel quite stressed and overwhelmed at work, (e.g., by saying “yes” to any task or request that is heaped upon you). Ultimately, you will have to cut corners or leave things unfinished, which will bring up guilt, self-criticism, disappointment (from you and your superiors), and potentially ramifications for your career. Combine this with being more sensitive to approval from others for your sense of self-worth (rather than sensing your own inner worth), and you will be sure to feel stressed and miserable in most aspects of life. Spend all your time in the past and the future. The best way to become and stay – depressed and disillusioned with life is to pile loads of regret and resentment onto circumstances and events that did not happen but should have happened (and v.v.!!). Look back with regret, resentment and shame for your own life so far, and towards the people who played a role in it. Keep living in the past to pass judgement on your present life. This way, today’s life will look very undesirable, as in: “it should have been so much better”. You can then cast a line out into the future, forecasting that “things cannot improve anymore” because of past events. You also want to hold on to unrealistic expectations and impossible desires around the future. That way, you can produce anxiety about what will happen, now that your past has screwed things up for your future, and things won’t get better. Keep comparing the two (past and future), and by all means: do NOT live in the present moment or in body awareness. Keep the “temporal jumps” happening in your narrative, and stay in your head. So, there you have it. The First Five. Give these First Five ways to live a miserable life a good go, and please ask if you need any counselling assistance with this. I can speak from experience for all of them, and they work! Guaranteed. You know where to find me. If you’re interested in more ‒ maybe because these ones didn’t do the trick, and you actually felt better, go to Part Two of this article to find Five More Tips to feel miserable. You should be successful after that. Follow me on Facebook, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Marc! Marc de Bruin, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Marc is a Registered International Counsellor, Supervisor and Educator "with a twist". If you're looking for a run-of-the-mill mental health professional, feel free to contact one of his very capable colleagues. Marc looks at life through a different lens, with a transpersonal, even "spiritual" filter. Expect to discuss your life from a bigger perspective, while still being very practical (Marc is an ex-litigation lawyer, too, so very solution-focused); and expect to work from the inside out: YOU will change before your circumstances will. In order for things to change, you'll be the one to change some things. If that sounds like something you are up for, Marc is ready for you.

Written by: Kristen Lessig Schenerlein, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Everything in moderation, including moderation. When it comes to positive and negative emotions, it seems that spending too much time in either, we lack the full spectrum of emotions. It is often said that being angry at another person can do more harm than good, to you (the angry person) than to the person you are angry with. Conversely, if we have experienced the positive emotions of a colleague at work that never seems to have a bad day and always joins meetings bubbling with positive energy or emotions, we may be inclined to assume that they lack a realistic grasp on life. So then how do we process our emotions in such a way that we can use them to navigate the path forward without falling prey to the extremes of either negative or positive emotions? If moderation is about striking a balance between two things, then balancing positive and negative emotions is essential for living the “good life”. In Buddhism, a principal teaching in the belief system is of the Middle Way, which is the path between two extremes. Applying this principle to the idea of moderation (as it relates to our emotions), one is looking for the path that transcends the negative and positive emotions. Positive emotions are based on love, and they are expansive in their ability to open us up to others, to experiences, and to knowledge of the world around us. Negative emotions have a purpose too. They are a source of grounding, realism, and often protect us (Frederickson, 2009). Both forms of emotions are relative, at their basic level and beyond feelings, they also have important functions. Negative emotions serve as an alert to danger, narrowing options to move to action. Positive emotions signal safety, which then allows us to look to expand on them (Peterson, 2006). Appreciating the full spectrum of emotions is essential. Ancient teachings have postulated: emotions are good servants but not good masters. Our ability to master emotions aids in finding the middle path through the peaks and valleys so that well-being can flourish. Frederickson references insight from a Buddhist nun on another important principle in that when a student is ready, the teacher will appear. Applying this to navigating both negative and positive emotions to find the middle way, we treat each wave of emotion as a teacher. The emotion itself is signaling an important lesson. Experiences of negative emotions allow us to get curious as to what triggered it or to explore the thoughts coupled with it. Maybe even investigate how those thoughts compare to reality, searching for more details that dispute the draining cycle of negative thoughts. These steps initiate a pause, shifting you to master your mind, allowing you to dispute the negative thought that may only breed extreme negative emotions. Negative emotions such as fears of the unknown that quickly spiral or involve rumination, closing us off from experiencing “the good life” (Frederickson, 2009). Love opens us up. Positive emotions signal an openness to life, to experiences, and to growth. Frederickson eloquently uses the image of a water lily to demonstrate how we bloom and retract between our experiences of positive and negative emotions. A plant grows by turning towards the light. Positive attracts positive. This requires control over our thoughts and instead of waiting for things to happen “to us” to take the reins. One must THINK as well as DO things that breed positive emotions. Simply asking ourselves reflective questions about what is going well right now for us at work or home. Maybe beginning each day identifying what three things you are most grateful for in your life. Both prompts are grounded, allowing us to experience balanced positive emotions. From there we can embrace a positivity that can broaden us and shift us into more possibility thinking, connection with others, and expanded awareness. This type of positivity is not mere wishful thinking. It has the potential to be a new lens for how we see the world (Frederickson, 2009). The goal essentially is to pursue a healthy mix of balanced positive and negative emotions on our quest for living the “good life”. Generating positive emotions each day allows us to deposit coins in a theoretical piggy bank. As these coins (positive emotions) add up, we build our potential to flourish. If we allow ourselves to be dragged down by the negative events in our lives, we are in essence, draining that piggy bank and less likely to experience well-being essential for the “good life” (Frederickson, 2009). A healthy mix gives perspective and ensures we transcend any extremes that may flare up as a result of circumstances beyond our control. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Kristen! Kristen Lessig Schenerlein, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Kristen Lessig-Schenerlein, a social entrepreneur, mental fitness coach and yoga instructor, is an expert in nonprofit leadership, forever passionate about the fields of neuroscience, positive psychology, and performance science. After nearly two decades of being driven by a mission, almost to complete burnout and after having experienced the real life effects of working within a toxic environment, Kristen began down a new path in service to others facing similar challenges. She integrated her own personal yoga practice and energy medicine into a science-based coaching practice. She became a trained yoga instructor guiding her clients “on the mat” and also an ICF Certified Professional Coach and a Certified Positive Intelligence Coach to support her clients “off the mat” with mental fitness training and coaching. Kristen has dedicated her entire career to transforming the lives of others and sees herself now as a guide to those willing to do the innerwork necessary to link their power with their passions, so that they can live a life more in alignment with their values, while showing up authentically in aspects of their lives. Kristen is the founder of Koi Coaching and Consulting, serving clients around the world, thanks in part to being part of the coaching team of BetterUp as well, whose mission is to make coaching accessible to all, unlocking greater potential, purpose, and passion. Born in a small coastal town in Connecticut, Kristen also spent a good part of her career in Richmond, Virginia, where she founded her nonprofit organization before moving back to the coast where she now resides in Southwest Florida with her husband and a blended family of four beautiful children.

Written by: Rita May , Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Weight loss goals. Let´s talk about your weight loss goals, since losing weight and setting goals are what many people aim to do in January. You’ve probably heard that you should set a specific and measurable goal so when you decide to lose weight: you choose a certain weight reached by a specific time as a goal. But you aren’t totally in control of that goal. Even if you are doing “all the right things”, there are so many complex processes going on in your body that you might not be able to reach that (random) number. This can be frustrating, especially if you don’t see the results you want. You may feel like the numbers aren’t reflecting the effort you have put in, or you can´t reach the goal at the arbitrary date you chose. So you get impatient and start to eat even less and/or work out more. With this approach, we usually get the opposite results since overexercising and undereating almost always result in overeating or binging in the long term. What if you focused on things you could control instead of tying your success to some arbitrary number and date? Habit goals It's far more effective and empowering to set a goal around habits than chasing an arbitrary number. By doing so, you're setting yourself up for lasting change instead of yo-yoing between restricting and binging or giving up entirely. If your goal is to lose 10 pounds, you'll constantly feel like you are not “good enough” until you reach that goal. This can be really discouraging and might make you give up because it's easier than continuing to be disappointed all the time. If you actually reach your weight goal, you feel great for a while but then realize that the only thing that was giving you purpose was the goal itself. Now what? You might also feel depleted or you want to reward yourself with something delicious and you end up going back to your old behaviours. With habits, you succeed and feel good every single time you do the chosen habit. You ‘succeed’ because you do exactly what you planned to do. When you reach the weight you are happy with, you won´t stop doing your habits, because you either enjoy doing them or they became automatic behaviours (or both). You probably adjust your habits a bit but you won´t stop doing them and won´t go back to your old, unhealthy habits. The 3 layers of behaviour change James Clear says in his book, Atomic Habits, that there are three layers of behaviour change. Outcomes are the outer layer, Processes are the inner layer, and Identity is at the core. Most goals people set are related to an outcome (e.g., lose 5 kilos/10 pounds in 1 month). Most habits people establish are related to a process (e.g., going to the gym regularly). But if you start with your identity, the core of behaviour change, it will reflect on your habits and your outcomes much more effectively. Your habits define who you are “Ultimately, your habits matter because they help you become the type of person you wish to be. They are the channel through which you develop your deepest beliefs about yourself. The process of building habits is actually the process of becoming yourself .” ‒ James Clear Your current behaviours are a reflection of your current identity. What you do now is governed by your beliefs and thoughts about yourself (either consciously or subconsciously). To change your behaviour for good, you need to start believing new things about yourself. Your self-image Your self-image is how you identify yourself, how you see yourself, and your thoughts about yourself. "You can never outperform your own self-image" ‒ Maxwell Maltz If you identify yourself as someone with weight problems, you will have weight problems. You cannot extend outside the barriers of your self-image because you self-sabotage yourself to get back into the "box" you created for yourself. Your self-image is like a thermostat. It keeps you in the range you can identify yourself with. Your self-image really affects every part of your life. It shapes how you think about and see yourself, which then impacts how you interact with others and how they treat you. It also affects the food you eat, how often you exercise, the work you do, the people you spend time with, and so on. Because of that, a behaviour change that doesn't line up with your self-image will never really stick. The more closely associated a thought or action is with your sense of self, the harder it is to change it. Here's a two-step process that can help: Decide what type of person you want to be. Create evidence to prove to yourself that you are that type of person with small wins. For example, each time you eat healthy food, you prove to yourself: "I'm a healthy eater." Every time you go for a jog, you remind yourself: "I'm a runner", when you practice mindfulness, you show that you’re a ‘mindful person’, and so on. Join Our Healthy Lifestyles Program If you are tired of quick fixes and are ready to create long-term success, join my Healthy Habits for Permanent Weight Loss course. This program is a combination of nutrition, habit building based on how our brain works, and psychology to understand how to change your behaviour, and how to update your beliefs and stories that are keeping you from losing weight. The Healthy Habits for Permanent Weight Loss program is easy to follow. It doesn't involve any difficult concepts or behaviours, like calorie counting or meal planning. You don't need to follow a specific fitness program. The program is available on a one-on-one basis or as a self-study course. You can learn more about it here . Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , Linke dIn , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Rita! Rita May, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Rita May is a scientist turned Emotional Eating and Health Coach. She helps driven professionals and entrepreneurs who are successful in other areas of their life but struggle with their weight because of emotions and stress-eating. Her coaching method is based on three pillars: the science of nutrition, psychology, and a bit of spirituality. She doesn’t believe in the one-diet-fits-all approach. Instead of giving you a diet plan, she helps you choose a way of eating that you enjoy because that’s the one you will be able to sustain in the long term. However, nourishing your body is not enough. Our well-being is also affected by stress, relaxation, thoughts, emotions, beliefs, joy, self-awareness, our personal history, and so much more. Using her Mindfulness to Food Freedom method and How to stop eating your feelings workbook, she helps her clients eliminate emotional and stress-related overeating or binge eating. She designed her Healthy Habits for Permanent Weight Loss program to help busy professionals and entrepreneurs lose weight and improve their health with just a little time investment per week so they can focus on their work, business, and family.

Written by: Phillip Golding, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. In my previous article ‘Be the Master of Your Mind’, I focused on the two foundational principles of Self-Mastery (Laws of Consciousness) – 1. Self-Acceptance and 2. full Personal Responsibility – and what real Self-Mastery does and does not look like. With this article, I will focus on showing you how you can practically make a real positive difference to your life. In all of my previous articles for Brainz magazine, I have been showing you how to awaken your Awareness by placing Acceptance and Responsibility at the center of your approach to the way you care for and manage yourself and how you deal with the world around you. So let’s look at how these two Laws of Consciousness can be put to work to transform your mind. I will focus on a common problem that undermines and disempowers us and that is negative self-talk. Consequences of Negative Self-Talk Our perceptions about ourselves and the world around us are determined by the ways our minds think, and the meaning our minds place on all that we experience. The way our minds think is determined by the ways we have become conditioned throughout our formative years. The quality, or usefulness of our conditioning is determined by whether it has been predominantly based on unconditional love or fear and judgement. If our conditioning has been overly influenced by fear and judgement, we are likely to have developed the habit of judging ourselves and deeming ourselves unworthy if things don’t go our way. In other words, we have taken on habits of rejecting ourselves instead of accepting ourselves as we are. When we judge/reject ourselves, it makes it very difficult to turn mistakes and difficulties into opportunities to learn and grow. Instead, we tend to blame ourselves or others and remain stuck. We only see and create more problems, rather than seeing and becoming the solution. Becoming the Solution to Your Negative Self-Talk There is a secret that those who are resilient, who can bounce back and succeed in the face of difficulty know, whether consciously or unconsciously. The secret is that our lives are not determined by the world around us. Regardless of our circumstances and conditioning, our lives are determined by the ways we think about and react/respond to the world around us. If your self-worth/love is dependent on being accepted and approved of by those around you, or by things always going your way, than your peace of mind and stability will be at the mercy of the ever-changing conditions of your circumstances. If you are committed to accepting full responsibility to accept yourself, your fallible humanness, unconditionally and take responsibility for all that you think, say and do, and therefore feel, then you are going to want to learn more about how to care for and master yourself when life gets challenging. Every experience, whether positive or negative, is now turned to your advantage. You are no longer a victim of life, you are now a student of Life. Life is now happening for you, not to you. You are no longer an ego being controlled by a blindly conditioned mind. You are an awakened awareness, learning how to care for and master your own mind. You are learning how to be in the drivers seat of your mind, steering it toward your real potential and the life that you really want. Overcome Negative Self-Talk Exercise I will now lay out for you a practical exercise that will show you how to identify negative self-talk and turn it around so that you can have a positive and empowering relationship with yourself. This will, in turn, improve the ways you care for yourself, your decision making and the ways you form and conduct your relationships, whether personal or business. This exercise is adapted from my book ‘Five Steps to Freedom, Revised Edition’. Make good use of your journal while doing this exercise. Writing down your thoughts greatly increases the power and effectiveness of the process, because you are lifting your thoughts up out of the recesses of your mind and into the light of day of your awareness, where you can take control of your life. Once recorded, you can then delve deeper into what you have written to gain more perspective and insight. What this exercise is about is learning to be the wise, loving parent to your own vulnerable and confused human-self. If you persist, this exercise will enable you to experience love as something that you can access internally. You are always within the embrace of Universal Love and you access this love at any time through actively and responsibly caring for yourself ‒ by being a representative of this Universal Love to yourself. This is not an exercise to do just once. In order to gain positive control of your mind, it is essential to do this exercise on a daily basis, at least until your new positive and loving self-talk starts to feel normal and natural. Also, don’t expect to be very skilled at it at first. It is normal to not be used to looking within and being there for yourself, and being your own best friend. Read the exercise through first at least a few times before you start in order to gain a good feel for the process. 1. Today, right this moment, make a rock solid commitment to treat yourself and speak to yourself only with acceptance, loving kindness, compassion and forgiveness. This will also help to bring your self-rejecting thoughts more into focus. Post yourself reminders in as many ways you as can, so you can stay aware of your positive intention throughout your day, otherwise your old mindsets will just take over and cause you to forget. 2. Keep a little notebook with you always, that you can use to write down your self-rejecting thoughts, as you become aware of them (our mobile phones are now useful for this purpose). Don’t be surprised by how often you observe such self-destructive thoughts. 3. The more you lift your negative self-talk into your awareness, the more power you will have over it. The more familiar you become with it, the more you will be able to identify it in the moment and make a better choice. 4. Identify the negative self-talk, but do NOT identify with it. Recognise that if any thoughts coming from your mind are unkind/unloving towards you, then they are the product of past confusion. You are learning to no longer reinforce this insidious form of self-harm. 5. Also, understand that you are not doing this to become self-indulgent, but to become self-responsible, to become the wise, empowered and loving forever parent to yourself. 6. When you observe negative self-talk, write it down in that moment, or as soon as you can, before you forget. In that moment or later on that day or evening, make time to focus your awareness on the self-rejecting thoughts you have recorded. Feel into what these thoughts are doing to you. Write down what you discover, while remembering that you have a right to be human and that this process is a starting point to making a positive difference to your life. 7. As you contemplate your self-rejecting thoughts, imagine this human-self, that you are putting down, is you when you were a vulnerable child just wanting to be accepted and loved. Look back at how vulnerable and powerless you were as that child, knowing also that you have done the best you could with the awareness that you have had, from then, right up to now. 8. Always remember that you have a right to be human. You have a right to learn and grow. Self-acceptance must always be our foundation. Children, as well as adults, learn and grow to be happy and healthy in an environment of Unconditional Love. You are now taking control of the environment that your mind/your humanness/your inner-child lives in. You are setting things right. That is your power of Conscious-Awareness. 9. Examine the negative self-talk that you have identified so far and explore and write down positive self-accepting/caring/loving things to keep saying to yourself instead. Let your feelings guide you. 10. Pay attention to any resistance to being kind to yourself that may be coming from your old conditioning. Spend time exploring and writing about this to compassionately connect to the dilemma that you were in as a child, adolescent and young adult. Reflect on these memories with the awareness of how powerless you were then and how you could not avoid taking on negative conditioning. Know that this is your life and your mind and you now have the power to take charge. 11. As you become more skilled with this process, you will gain more of a feel for the right things to say to yourself. On a daily basis, use your new positive self-talk, that you explore and right down on a daily basis, to keep countering the negative. If you persist, your new positive self-talk will soon be triggered along with the negative, increasingly neutralising the negative. In time, the positive will overtake and replace the negative. This will be the result of your never-give-up persistence. 12. You will also notice that some recurring negative self-talk will give way easily, while other negative self-talk will be more persistent, held in place by deeper, more entrenched conditioning. Don’t be discouraged. Keep working with it for as long as it takes. This entrenched self-rejection may take to deeper layers of healing that you need to do for yourself. 13. If you experience others putting you down, feel into how that affected you. If it hurt you, or in other words, if you think their confusion had something to do with you, look closely at what you are thinking about yourself. Even if you made a mistake, you don’t deserve to be belittled or spoken to harshly. You have a right to be human. Let go of the other person and focus on how their harsh words have exposed doubts you have about yourself. This is about you caring for yourself and therefore taking charge of your own life. We give our power away by holding others responsible for our worth. If you do need to set boundaries to protect yourself from negative people, as a part of caring for yourself, this exercise will help you gain the necessary clarity and courage to do so. 14. Remember, you did the best you could in the past with the awareness that you had, right up to this moment. This also applies to your efforts now. Forgive yourself for your human mistakes and realise that you now have an opportunity to treat yourself differently and to work toward healing the wounds of the past. Forgiving yourself is an important step toward living this new way of life. 15. Be open to whatever emotions that are released during this process. Do your best to let them flow while breathing deeply and slowly, which will help you manage the emotions more effectively. Acknowledging your own pain works the same as when someone else important to you acknowledges your pain. This is not about indulging in self-pity or being a victim, it is taking your own mind into your heart, like embracing your own upset child. Staying with your vulnerable emotions, with your self-accepting and compassionate heart open to yourself, is very important for healing. It is about helping your inner-child/human-self feel that he/she is in the presence of your Love, simply by you being there. Let your emotions flow and trust that any emotional release will pass naturally and have a chance to heal in the process while you compassionately stay open to it. This is one of the great powers of awareness. Much of this pent-up emotion comes from your childhood. You were so small and powerless then. It is normal to feel that uncomfortable vulnerability again as the emotions are coming through your consciousness now. This can be challenging at first. Remember that you are an adult now with Conscious-Awareness. These challenging emotions are coming from memories where you were powerless, but you now have the power to be there for yourself in a way that you couldn’t as a child. 16. Don’t try to force or ‘fix’ your emotions, like there is something wrong with you. Go gently. Learning to be there consistently for yourself with acceptance and compassion is like giving yourself the love that you didn’t get when your memories/conditioning was being formed. This is what you needed then and what you need now. 17. You don’t have to be experiencing emotional release. There are no shoulds or shouldn’ts. It is more about learning to be there for yourself and acknowledging what you are feeling, validating that you have a right to be human. 18. To help you recognise what is for your highest good, consider viewing these new ways of talking to yourself and caring for yourself in the long term. Would it enhance your life in the short, medium and long term? How does it compare to the old negative self-talk? 19. Don’t be concerned about finding the perfect answers. It is all a journey of trial and error. Any step toward genuinely caring for yourself is going to improve your life. Be free and open to learn from each attempt to talk and act more lovingly toward yourself. 20. Write out on a card or in your pocket book or phone your new positive self-talk and refer to it regularly in order to keep your Conscious-Awareness ahead of the old destructive habits. Give yourself as many reminders as you can. Your awareness needs as much help as you can give it. 21. You can program your mobile phone to give you positive messages every couple of hours. Regular reminders are essential for reprogramming the old conditioning. Habits are formed through repetition. You are now removing the power from the old destructive thinking habits and putting that power into creating good thinking habits. 22. When you catch yourself again in a state of self-rejection, you increasingly have these new strategies that you are creating to fall back on. When you keep referring to these new positive intentions, you will increasingly gain more clarity of the consequences of self-rejection. You will also have more clarity around how to treat yourself with loving kindness in that moment. 23. Continue to put this exercise into practice on a daily basis. Try to see this as your new lifestyle and not some unrealistic quick fix. It is not about getting it right. It is about having a go and learning from each experience. Recognise that by making this your new lifestyle, you will naturally continue to heal and grow. 24. No matter how tough, persistent and multi-layered the old self-destructive mind-habits are, they will inevitably give way, so long as you patiently, gently, but with determination, persist, with a never-give-up attitude. Therefore, easy dose it, but keep doing it. There is no “are we there yet”. There is you, your mind, now and every day. Feed your mind positive energy every day, because it will grow on what you feed it. That is the power of your awareness. If you keep doing this, realising your increasing, self-created experience of happiness, fulfilment and empowerment is inevitable. Follow me on LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Philip! Phillip Golding, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Phil has been on his own personal development journey since 1984. He overcame chronic depression and PTSD, which motivated him to continue to learn about emotional healing, psychology, and self-awareness. Phil’s qualifications and experience cover general psychology, existential/spiritual/transpersonal psychology and mindfulness and a post-graduate degree in psychology. With his personal and professional experience, Phil developed the powerful and effective mindfulness-based “Five Step Process,” which has been the foundation of his psychotherapy practice and mindfulness/self-awareness teaching. Phil is also an author and is in the process of completing the second edition of his book, “Five Steps to Freedom.”

Written by: Myles Morgan, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. The trance of constantly comparing yourself to others and feeling envious of their success is such a mental, emotional, and spiritual drain! It’s time to finally break free from this common trap. In this article, you'll learn why covetousness was dubbed a spiritual “sin” and discover 3 powerful reflection exercises to help you overcome covetousness and find more gratitude and abundance in your journey. We have all been there — scrolling social media, seeing people’s “best life” posts, and being lulled into this funk of anxiety, jealousy, and self-doubt. I call this “funk” the trance of comparison. Before you’re even aware of it, it’s eating away at your focus, energy, motivation, and inner peace. It’s uncanny how much a harmless scroll can ruin our mood. Worse, we don’t even need social media to fall into this trance. It can happen anywhere and at any time. In fact, despite being a trained therapist and coach, my own unconscious habit of comparing and coveting sabotaged nearly all of my goals and performance. Why can’t I have that? Here’s a quick story to illustrate the above point. One of my closest friends had founded company, built a team, and was growing her annual profits year over year. People admired and lauded her for her charisma, intelligence, and sharpness. Meanwhile, even though I was helping her grow, I felt like I was just scraping by trying to grow my own business. I knew I had something to give as well, and I wanted to be just as celebrated as she was. For the life of me, I couldn’t help but compare myself to her. This manifested most often as repeatedly asking myself a very painful and destructive question: Why can’t I be like that? Why can’t I have what she has? What am I missing? That simple desire — wanting what she had — represented covetousness, which is one of the sins listed in the “thou shalt not” Ten Commandments. For the most part in our current times, we just label this “sin” as comparison. I have long wondered why something like covetousness is considered a sin. And over time, I have come to understand some of the answer. Put most simply: covetousness causes harm to ourselves and others. It puts us in a trance of fear, scarcity, doubt, and bitterness. It makes us focus on and lament what we don’t have. One of the rules I have distilled for all “sins” is that they cause disconnection from love. Covetousness causes us to miss all of the love, abundance, and support that we have around us, all the blessings that we actually have. It prevents us from being content and enjoying where we are on our journeys. It robs us of the capacity for deep gratitude. It contributes to a destructive loop on an emotional, spiritual, and material level: To those who do NOT have, even what they have will be taken away. And in the worst-case scenario, for those with wicked hearts, it can lead to greed, theft, and murder. In understanding this, I realized that disrupting covetousness and moving into contentment was one of the most important skills and success conditions I needed to cultivate to enjoy the life I wanted. As a result, I now have a handful of reflections that help me break out of the trance of covetousness whenever I find myself comparing or coveting someone else’s life and/or results. Here they are: Reflection 1: What did they have to go through or give to get there? I noticed that when I’m coveting what someone has or where they are, I tend to be missing a part of the full picture. I’m only focused on their blessings and results, and I tend to be missing the hurt, pain, or sacrifice that they might have endured on their journeys. This could stretch back to some trauma that they endured in their childhood that served as the seed of their drive or excellence. It could be the fact that they wouldn’t be where they are without a series of very painful events such as getting fired from a job or losing someone or something that they loved dearly. It could be the fact that they had to be willing to go months without income so that they could focus on what really matters. Whatever it is, I have found that when I widen my perspective to consider things like this, it then leads to another question: Would I be willing to go through what they went through in order to get where they are? Oftentimes, the answer is no. This helps me begin to see my blessings and relative privilege in higher resolution. I begin to feel grateful that I haven’t had many of the same trials as they have had. Sometimes, something else happens. I realize that I actually haven’t been willing to put myself in the same types of (calculated) risky situations as them or I haven’t been willing to make the sacrifices or trade-offs that they have. This leads me to question why not? Sometimes the result of this inquiry is the realization that I need to be willing to give or let go of something that I have been unwilling to. The willingness to do then give what I have been unwilling to give or let go of what I have been unwilling to let go of can be a powerful catalyst for the next leg of my life journey. Reflection 2: What makes me different? I have another quick story. When I was first starting my journey toward becoming a coach, I had just earned my Masters and had quit my job in educational leadership to strike out on my own. This put me in a very tight spot financially. At the same time, I was dating someone who had just got hired into a new corporate position, with a signing bonus that he used to buy his mom a house. I couldn’t help but think: How can I be the one who’s the life coach but other people are much more financially well off than me? This line of thinking launched me into self-doubt and insecurity and robbed me of the confidence that I needed to take bold actions and grow. But what I was missing at that time was the ability to acknowledge and distinguish what made my path different from the people I was comparing myself to. The truth was that I was doing something far riskier—and potentially far more rewarding—than him. The truth is that my path required more education and a complex set of skills that allowed me to impact people’s lives on a deeper level, which meant a longer learning curve towards prosperity. The list of differences goes on. The point here is that when I was finally able to see what makes me, my path, and my journey different, then I was more able to accept the trade-offs inherent in the decisions I had made up until that point. And in doing so, I realized that I was comparing apples and oranges. This simply made it easier to stop comparing and return my focus to doing my best on my distinct journey. Reflection 3: What do I already have that I can be grateful for? This last reflection represents a principle that has become a core tenet of my effectiveness, progress, and success: start with what you already have. I have learned that when you start by focusing on what you already have instead of focusing on what you don’t have — especially when you can express and embody gratitude for it — it contributes to a positive reinforcing loop. Listing what you have helps you identify all the resources, both internal and external, that you have at your disposal to get what or where you want. Expressing and feeling gratitude stimulates the release of dopamine and serotonin, two happiness chemicals that support joy, motivation, pride, and confidence. Not only does all of this contribute to a way of being that is more resourceful, creative, resilient, and joyous. But it also helps you see and act on new and different perspectives and ideas to move in the direction that you want faster than you would have if you were still in a trance of comparison and covetousness. As a result, you begin experiencing small wins, which then represent more “things you have”. Can you see how this might create a virtuous cycle of gratitude and growth? Conclusion At the end of the day, these are three questions that I sit down and journal about when I’m feeling triggered by comparison, covetousness, and even scarcity and urgency. I know for certain that I’m not the only one who struggles with this. Given that comparison is often triggered by the simple daily act of scrolling social media, now more than ever we need tools to combat it so that we can maintain a sense of well-being as we walk on our own distinct paths toward creating the life, results, and impact that we want in the world. I hope helps you develop and refine your own mental habits for recognizing and breaking out of the trance of comparison and covetousness. Wishing you all the best! Follow me on Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Myles! Myles Morgan, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Myles Morgan is a trained therapist who chose a path of leadership and entrepreneurship rather than working in a clinical setting. Over the last seven years, he has co-founded and managed three education-based startups while slowly building his own life coaching practice. Now in his fifth year of practice, his signature coaching program, The Fulfillment Accelerator, specializes in helping founders, leaders, and creatives clear the deepest mental and emotional blocks that are preventing them from enjoying fulfillment as they actualize their dreams. As a writer, speaker, and teacher, much of the perspective he has to offer lives at the intersection between positive psychology, deep healing, and creative practice.

Written by: Maureen Chiana, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. The start of the new year is an excellent time for self-reflection, as it can help you set goals and plan for the year ahead. "Don't become too preoccupied with what is happening around you. Pay more attention to what is going on within you." ‒ Mary-Frances Winters How often do you self-reflect? Once a year? In January? When was the last time you really reflected on your career path — past, present and future? Have you thought of and planned out where you want to be this year? Have you identified your strengths, areas of development, and limiting beliefs that have held you stuck? Self-reflection is the act of thinking about and analysing your thoughts, actions, and behaviours. It is an essential tool for personal growth and development because it allows you to understand yourself better and identify areas that you can improve on. It is a way to become more self-aware and to make conscious choices about your life. Self-reflection for leaders Self-reflection is an essential skill for all leaders to develop, as it allows them to understand their own strengths and weaknesses and how they can improve and grow as leaders. It can also help leaders be more self-aware, leading to better decision-making, effective communication, and successful relationships with team members. In addition, self-reflection can help leaders to identify patterns in their behaviour and thought processes, which can help them to avoid making the same mistakes in the future. Here are a few reasons why self-reflection is important for leaders: It helps you make better decisions. When you take the time to reflect on your thoughts and emotions, you can better understand your motivations and biases, which can help you make more informed and balanced decisions. It promotes personal growth. Self-reflection allows you to identify areas where you can improve and take action to make positive changes. It enhances your leadership skills. You can become a more effective and respected leader by regularly reflecting on your leadership style and effectiveness. It improves your relationships with others. When you take the time to reflect on your interactions with others, you can better understand their perspective and communicate more effectively. Overall, self-reflection is essential for any leader who wants to be effective and successful. A critical aspect of self-reflection is honesty. It is essential to be open and honest about your thoughts and feelings, even if they are difficult or uncomfortable. This can be challenging but essential for personal growth and development. Here are a few ideas for how you might begin the new year by engaging in self-reflection: Consider your successes from the previous year for a moment. What do you take pride in? What did you learn? Consider areas where you would like to make changes or improvements. What are your goals for the new year? How can you work towards achieving them? Reflect on your values and priorities. Are you living in alignment with what is most important to you? If not, how can you make changes to align your actions with your values? Keep a notebook where you can record your feelings and thoughts. This can be valuable for organising your ideas and emotions and monitoring your development over time. Seek feedback from others. Talk to trusted friends, family members, or a therapist about your experiences and ask for their perspective on your growth and development. In conclusion, self-reflection is an essential tool for personal growth and development. It allows you to understand yourself better, identify areas for improvement, and make conscious choices about your life. By being honest with yourself and engaging in self-reflection consistently, you can make meaningful progress toward living a more fulfilling and meaningful life. I hope these recommendations prove helpful as you start your journey of introspection for the coming year. Follow me on LinkedIn, Instagram, and visit my website for more info! Invest in your self-development with our Soar Higher eToolkit. Read more from Maureen! Maureen Chiana, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Maureen is the CEO and founder of The Mindsight Academy and host of Lead To Excel Podcast. She is a NeuroCoach, delivering Performance Enhancement Treatment [PET] by rewiring the brains of leaders to perform at their optimum. She is a High Performance Coach, Corporate Consultant, Neuro-Leadership and Emotional Intelligence Specialist, an Award Winning Speaker, that leverages on Neuroscience insights of how the brain works, to empower leaders, executives, female founders and business owners to perform optimally and transform how they lead, work and live. Maureen is passionate about helping people mitigate the biases that negatively affects them and their decisions, and her framework focuses on the Human Central Processing Unit – THE BRAIN, which helps leaders make better decisions ‒ especially under pressure ‒ thereby improving their overall or targeted performance.

Elena Manole is a time management and productivity coach, business owner and aspiring writer. She thrives on working with clients 1:1, giving workshops and leading her team. She is fired up by the idea of creating a job around a lifestyle that suits you, and not creating a lifestyle around your work. When she got her dream job in the tech industry, she realised that having lunch at her desk in front of the computer and spending her evenings and weekends in events promoting her company’s services wasn’t the way to go. The burnout that resulted from overworking in that “dream job” made Elena reflect on her life’s ambitions and on what is worth the hassle and the battle. She decided to keep striving and grow, but with a different goal/vision in mind. She worked hard on creating a vision that made sense for her and started working on it with the same passion that she showed to any project she embarked on. These days she wakes up with a desire to show up for her clients, she is not afraid anymore of Sunday evenings and has ownership of her time. Elena Manole, Productivity and Time Management Coach Elena, you are a business owner and time management and productivity coach. You help your clients build systems that work and help them gain clarity around their vision. How did you get to this point and what kind of audience do you target your business towards? Thanks for the question. It’s quite interesting to reflect on the beginnings of this project. Well, to start with, I had to learn the hard way that, living my life based on intentions and visions rather than on inertia, wasn’t anymore an option but a necessity. I have always been a bit more controversial in my thinking and followed a path that was different from my peers, but when I landed the dream job and I felt the misery that one feels only when they don’t live their true life, it dawned on me. I don’t have to live like this, nobody is forcing me. Having the fancy title and the salary wasn’t making me happy. There was something different I was aiming for. Today I thrive on working with clients who want to live with intention, who decide where their time is spent, with whom and on what projects. I usually work with small businesses (one or two people) but also homemakers, creators and therapists. We work on their finances, starting from account statements, to building a budget that feeds their vision and not the typical consumer attitude. It makes me really happy to work with clients who are in the process of learning how to delegate, how to say no to projects (and invites) that don’t align with their vision and how to prioritise their most important tasks. I help them build systems, which usually starts with checking their calendar, what goes there and what shouldn’t be there. We make sure that there are appointments they keep with themselves, whether resting or taking themselves to a fancy restaurant/cinema date. You’ll find my clients working in all types of industries. I work with makeup artists, film producers, music producers, property business owners, writers, painters, etc. The list goes on. It doesn’t matter what the industry is. What really matters is that they are looking to build a structure that helps them thrive and to go to the next level, as opposed to burn-out and exhaustion. You are famous for following the 7/7/7. What is this about? Sure. It’s a very simple concept. After having experienced burn-out in my previous career, I decided to be intentional with my time off. No matter where my business is, I take a whole day off every 7 days/week, a week off every 7 weeks and a month off every 7 months. It is hard to say no to client work when there is so much abundance, but I decided that my health and mental well-being were more important than anything else. I cannot give from a place of exhaustion. My clients thank me for taking some time out. I don't recommend anyone to follow the 7/7/7 plan. What I do recommend is that they are intentional with their holidays and that they take at least one or two holidays a year, which can also be a staycation for sure (my fav one). Nurturing relationships and taking care of ourselves is what need to go on the priority list these days. In my weeks off, I love spending extended time with friends, or exploring my own city (London). On the months off, I make a point to have a 10-day silent retreat to reconnect with what is important for me. This year I was blessed enough to spend those days in a beautiful ashram in India. It was a wonderful experience. You have a Master’s in accounting and an Undergrad in business administration. You worked with big corporations, small start ups and scales up, shifting from Italy to Spain and then to the UK. Why this journey and what are your current goals for your business? I was always curious about the world, hence the travelling. But early in my career I asked someone who had their own business what advice they would give to someone who was just starting their career. They suggested I’d get myself in the small start-up world and learn everything I need to learn about business and how to run one. Given that I have a master’s degree in accounting, managing the admin side of the business hasn’t been difficult for me (although I still need some mentoring and support around forecasting, etc.). With regards to my vision of the business and my current goals, I’d say that my most important goal for the year is to let people know I exist. And yes, I’m referring to marketing. I used to hate this topic back in uni but now I see how fundamental this is. Through my marketing efforts, I aim to reach as many people from my targeted audience as possible. Marketing, done well, helps those who need me, find me. And I know for myself that having mentorship and accountability worked really well in my life. I would not give up on my support network under any conditions. And I want the same for my clients. My clients are a treasure for me and a testimony that having the right support is needed when one decides to live a life with integrity and intention. What would you like to achieve for yourself and your business in the future? I usually talk in my blog posts and in my work with clients about the importance of having a vision and clarity for one’s life. From clarity a plan can be designed and a discipline can be built to follow that plan. When I don’t have a vision of where I want to be in a year’s time or 3/5 years, etc., etc. it is harder for me to build a map. And yes, I love being open to spontaneity and to life’s decisions for me. I just try to make sure I take responsibility for my own life. And don’t you worry that life will let you know if you are leading in the wrong direction. In my vision, I plan to publish my book in the next five years. I am on the first draft and I just submitted my book proposal with Hay House. I am in their membership community and I am learning so much. I am also a runner and planning to run as many races as I can together with my partner and friends. I love my spiritual life and I take 10 days off my schedule every 7 months and go on a silent retreat to meditate. I will do that in August next year with the SRF (Self Realization Fellowship). I want to continue nurturing my relationships and build strong connections. For my business I want to be more vocal, with my own gentleness and my own way of being in an industry that can be a bit harsh at times. I want to increase my client base by 70% and launch a course on time management on Skillshare. Attainable? For sure. Hard enough? I don’t know. It makes me happy. So I aim not to follow whatever standard comes from the outside, but to go within for that vision. Who inspires you to be the best that you can be? I have all types of mentors and inspirational people in my life. Through them I get inspired and get to work on my own life. One of my biggest inspirations is Mahatma Gandhi. What he achieved through a nonviolent approach is beyond my understanding. Reading his autobiography, I realised that he had challenges to work through that I didn’t have, but also challenges that I also had to overcome. He faced all types of experiences related to his culture, but also to his personality. Shy and desireful of knowledge, he started on a path of experimenting with the Truth. And so I did. He walked everywhere, kept track of his spending, studied spirituality and believed in something bigger. It is great to see how such a strong personality achieved such great changes in the world. One walk at the time, one pure intention at a time. I live by the motto “Be the change that you want to see in the world,” and I aim to stay away from topics that I have no control over. I focus on what needs to be done on a daily basis and surrender to a Higher Power the outcome. The uncontrollable is none of my business. It gives me great freedom. If you could change one thing about your industry, what would it be and why? I would change the harshness of it. At times coaches appear to be too hard on their clients. Phrases like “You have to do it now”; “Do it”, “If not now then when?”. I prefer a much softer approach and I know that each of us gives ourselves a really hard time already and we don’t need someone else to do the same. Although I am not a therapist, I did a lot of work myself in the area and have a certificate in mindfulness counselling. I know that each of us responds in different ways to inputs. And although at times, tough love really works, a bit of compassion goes a very long way. Tell us about a pivotal moment in your life that brought you to where you are today. Leaving my job in 2018. I was at the top of my career. I achieved the goals I wanted. I was happy with how things were going. I had a perspective on what I could achieve moving forward, but I knew deep down I wanted to do something of my own. The more I was staying in that job that was a safety blanket for me, the more I was feeling like dying inside. Something had to change. Since I left the job it hasn’t been an easy ride. I wanted to stay there as much as I wanted to leave and do my own thing. Change is scary, especially when it involves taking a leap of faith that implies an unstable income. Because being an entrepreneur is not simple. I did my due diligence and put money aside, so I wasn’t stretched by any measurement, and still it felt quite a bit. I left at a point where I was already burnt out. So instead of adventuring into opening my own business I had to rest. I had a long overdue rest, which turned out to be longer than I thought. For a year all I did was rest, meditate, take care of my health, eat well and meet up with friends. I would go out for walks, enjoy London at a slow pace and transform the life I was living from the inside. I knew I had to find a place for myself but I didn’t know exactly how and when. Slowly I started to reach out to people again and started establishing my own practice. I studied, I got certificates, had a website and started practising with clients. The joy I get from working with clients is beyond description. It is hard to describe the feeling I have inside on a daily basis. A weekend is not an escape from work but a continuation of my own life. Because life unfolds in a beautiful way whether I work or not. And this is the miracle of my life. Not dreading Sundays and singing and flying high on Friday is my true liberation in life. And for that I am grateful. A last question to close this interview. What is your work inspired by? A desire to explore my own limits and those of other people. A curiosity that goes beyond the normal. A desire to know what we are all capable of, really. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Elena!

Written by: Hannah Brents, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Have you ever seen someone with an Emotional Support Animal (ESA)? Chances are you have. In this article, I break down what classifies as an ESA and the pros and cons of registering an animal. It may seem like a great idea, but will it serve you where you need it? Emotional Support Animals Emotional Support Animals (ESA) and psychiatric service dogs could be the best thing that could happen in your life. Having an aminal who is certified to be happy, supportive, and provide affection may seem like a plus; however, when encountering mental issues, trauma, PTSD, or other personal psychological issues, some pros and cons need to be discussed with your psychotherapist. What is an ESA (Emotional Support Animal)? What was once called Emotional Support Animals are now called assistance animals, and for airlines, they are called psychiatric service dogs (PSD). In the United States, the laws have changed for airlines for psychiatric service dogs, so ESAs are no longer allowed on flights. Regardless of the title name, an ESA is an accommodation made by the Department of Housing and Urban Development under the Fair Housing Act. Essentially, this certification states that if somebody has a functional limitation to their day-to-day life, they can have the accommodation of a support animal and an ESA. Now, not every animal can be an ESA. The law doesn't specify this, but you will struggle to find a clinician or a doctor willing to write a prescription or certification for an ESA for your pet peacock or snake. Many people also choose not to disclose their diagnosis in the application for certification as it is not a federal requirement for an ESA; however, doing this may allow the more predisposed to refuse your request for an ESA. What is a PSD (Psychiatric Service Dog)? A PSD is specifically for dogs who undergo specific training that airlines require for a dog to pass what's called the public access standard; a list of behaviors that they need to be able to perform in a public and crowded space and to perform a task specific to helping a person manage their psychological symptoms. Pros to registering an ESA or PSD The best advantage that no one can deny is that they are helping with your psychological impairment. These animals comfort you and have the skill to answer when you are vulnerable. They help you through your troublesome stretches and into your extraordinary times. And assuming you have an ESA or PSD, they understand social dynamics are difficult for you and aid in helping you create social buffers in certain situations. These animals are trained to sense anxiety and stress and can be trained to apply pressure to lower hyperarousal symptoms to distract you from panic symptoms. With that, they create a sense of all-around safety, giving you the relief you need now. But with every extraordinary thing, you should be aware of at least a couple of stresses too. Cons to registering an ESA or PSD Registering your animal as an ESA and PSD can be controversial. Within the United States, many tenants and landlords are not often accommodating to having an animal on their property. There have been times when tenants have come into legal disagreements with landlords, and it may be more beneficial financially to agree with the landlord and break the lease rather than take legal action. If you are looking for a place to rent and have ongoing providers, a therapist or a primary care doctor may write you a letter so you can have your ESA or PSD stay with you. Still, in my experience, it is very unlikely due to liability reasons. With that, doctors will only sometimes write a certification or refuse to due to lack of education or liability reasons because the criteria for an ESA is that it must have a functional limitation to your day-to-day life. This criteria is easy to meet because it is so generic, you must demonstrate more than simply a bond with your animal, and the ESA or PSD must aid in reducing psychological symptoms. If you have a PSD, they require training where the dog must be focused on you, no vocalizing, no pulling on a leash, and can't engage with any other person or animal. It must perform tasks to manage your symptoms. This training does not have to be done professionally, however; legally, this would limit access to this accommodation. Who Should Consider an ESA or PSD? Emotional support animals and psychiatric service dogs are ideal for anyone who feels socially isolated or suffers from trauma, PTSD, or mental illnesses. Seniors, kids with mental health issues, and anyone struggling with anxiety or depression are some of the common candidates for ESAs. If you feel left out of society or have problems navigating it alone, consider an ESA. If you or someone you love would benefit from an assistance animal, an ESA or PSD, you may want to speak to someone about your options. Follow me on Instagram, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Hannah! Hannah Brents, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Hannah Brents is a LICSW with a virtual therapy practice in Massachusetts. Many of Hannah’s adult clients come to her to address anxiety, trauma, life transitions, existential questioning, and relational difficulties. As Theology Therapist, Hannah serves as a resource for anyone looking to connect ‒ to yourselves, to others, to the divine and the natural world). She holds an extensive background in Theological Studies, allowing her to combine meditation, yoga, and clinical expertise to encourage deeper connectedness of the whole person as a means of healing and coping with suffering.