Written by: Taisia Slobodjaniuk, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. The Expat Psychologist organization is a Private International Psychological Practice with different sites in the Netherlands, The Hague, Amsterdam, Leiden, and Geneva, Switzerland. Being an international practice allows us to work with people of many different cultures and backgrounds, each with their own values. One of the most typical clients’ struggles, regardless of all these differences, is emotions. People struggle with identifying, managing, and successfully dealing with negative emotions. When we learn more about something, it seems less threatening. This is also true for negative emotions: the more we learn about them, the less afraid and more welcoming we can be towards the negative and scary ones. This will allow us to live a more satisfying and fulfilling life. Therefore, we focus on this essential yet challenging topic, emotions. The most common questions about emotions are the following: Why do people have emotions, and are emotions essential for survival? Well, many theories try to explain these questions, from philosophical to biological and psychological perspectives. Of course, there is no correct or wrong theory. Each of them describes different perspectives and realities of the topic. In general, emotions are seen as something special to improve our access to our reason. They carry important information about how a situation is being evaluated. They warn us about events that might be relevant to our values and concerns. Emotions help shape our interpretations and allow us to remember essential things. They help us to have particular considerations in certain circumstances that we otherwise would not have. At this point, you wonder why? It is because emotions have control over our perceptions, interpretations, and memories, and they come with us wherever we go. Every aspect of our lives, from cognition to behaviour and social organization, is driven by emotions. Humans are the animals with the highest use of emotions. Psychologists and researchers sustain that emotions are essential for survival because they allow us to facilitate our planning agency. They have a role in our ability to plan our goals and create a list of priorities each time we need to decide. Indeed, people with neurological damage in the affective areas of the brain have more difficulties with planning and take rational decisions every day. Emotions allow us also to attach specific targets, of positive or negative valence, to the courses of action. This is why we are more oriented to repeating the actions that lead to positive outcomes together with positive emotions than negative ones. Therefore, emotions are also connected to our actions. They facilitate our choices, helping us to choose the most appropriate action in different situations. How are our emotions connected to our actions? For so long time, emotions were neglected, thinking they were irrational, passive, and insignificant. But if this is true, why do we hold a person responsible if they have inappropriate emotions in certain circumstances? Because, indeed, we have the responsibility for how we express our emotions. Emotions continuously influence our bodies, brains, hearts, and social interactions, and they have a huge impact on others’ lives. We love and hate; we experience moments of extreme joy and ecstasy, shame, guilt, and embarrassment. All these emotions prime and motivate our bodies towards the decision to act. For example, when we are angry, we tend to be more aggressive. We may feel the urge to react toward a target or prepare ourselves to escape and run away from the danger. When we are in an emotional state, like joy, embarrassment, or depression, our action decisions may differ from one to another. Indeed, emotion regulation research has grown over the past years. Researchers want to understand how emotions develop and how we control them to have a satisfying and fulfilling life. Then how do we deal with negative emotions? Studies show that focusing on changing negative emotions or avoiding them might impair our control of the present task. Another example is the suppressing technique, where we try to decrease the emotion intensity or frequency we do not want to experience. Suppressing emotions requires a lot of energy, and this energy is subtracted from the task we need to perform. Suppressing emotions requires a lot of energy, and this energy is subtracted from the task we need to perform. On the contrary, if we accept these emotions and the experiences they bring, we change our relationship with them. We become willing to stay in contact with uncomfortable emotions without reacting. With time we become more tolerant of negative emotions. We learn to recognize and accept them, leading us to use less energy on emotions and more energy on our performance. How do we learn to accept negative emotions? The Expat Psychologist gives a few tips. First, the most critical step is to look at our triggers and ask ourselves, "What made me so sad, angry, scared, embarrassed (and so on)?" And second, “How did I interpret the situation? Could it be interpreted differently?". This is because the type of interpretation we give to an event might alter our experience of it. We can reappraise the situation one more time, being more compassionate and optimistic, seeing things we could not notice before. When we understand better where these emotions are coming from, it becomes easier to take steps toward the problem. This means cutting down sources of stress, reducing work, or spending more time with things that we actually enjoy. Second, if we acknowledge that we are feeling sad, angry, or frustrated, let's allow them to exist without trying to dwell on them. If they are too much to handle, it is always helpful to express your emotions to others and let them know what you are going through. Third, if you are unable to recognize the uncomfortable emotions at the moment they appear, do not fixate and ruminate on them but move on to more clear emotions. It is essential to reach some clarity before diving into them again. Everyone goes through and struggles with negative emotions from time to time, and it is not a one-time thing. Even if we wish it were! They can always come back and make us feel uncomfortable. However, we must remember that emotions, as well as thoughts or bodily reactions, are only transient, not permanent. Allow them to exist, be in contact with them, and embrace them! Visit my website for more info! Taisia Slobodjaniuk, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Started out in Ukraine as an orphan, today Taya is a successful businesswoman leading several expat-focused psychology practices around Europe. As an orphan, she faced a diverse set of challenges in being uprooted from familiarity, a sense of isolation, and the need for connection all of which she observed within other expats who move to a new country. So, after arriving in the Netherlands over a decade ago, she was surprised to find that there was no one who could deeply understand these challenges. Using her experiences living in different countries, and her broad education in psychology, she set up her own practice in The Hague to help expats work through their hardships. References: Alberts, H. J. E. M., Schneider, F., & Martijn, C. (2012). Dealing efficiently with emotions: acceptance-based coping with negative emotions requires fewer resources than suppression. Cognition & Emotion, 26(5), 863–70. https://doi.org/10.1080/02699931.2011.625402 Faucher, L., & Tappolet, C. (2008). The modularity of emotions (Ser. Canadian journal of philosophy. Supplementary volume, 32). University of Calgary Press. Kringelbach, M. L., & Phillips, H. (2014). Emotion : pleasure and pain in the brain. Oxford University Press. Turner, J. H. (2007). Human emotions: a sociological theory. Routledge, Taylor & Francis Group. Zhu, J., & Thagard, P. (2002). Emotion and action. Philosophical Psychology, 15(1), 19–36.

Written by: Nicole M. Augustine, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. What do you believe is foundational to who you are? Many people go through life thinking that there is an arrival. That one day, they will get to a specific destination, and everything will be perfect. They'll finally be happy and content. We spend our time pining after the future while neglecting the gift of now. Often in that neglect, we overlook the opportunities to accomplish the simple action step of moving one step forward. The truth is, there is no arrival. Growth and change are naturally occur forces in the world. Think about it; we are continually expanding, growing, and changing. Each day you age. Time forces you forward, and thus there can be no definitive "end" to the growth process save the experience of death. And that is okay! In fact, it's more than OK ‒ it's exciting! It means that anything is possible and that our potential is limitless. No matter where you stand right now, if it happens to be a place that you are unsatisfied with, YOU CAN CHANGE. It is through this shift in perspective that I have found my greatest joy. I now understand that I am growing, learning, and evolving each day and in a constant state of being. So why not apply direction to the growth and change process by creating a plan using your words to script one's life? Instead of waiting for an elusive arrival of a future brighter day, why not focus on the present moment and what you can do to make your dreams a reality? I have found this shift begins by scripting your life with positive affirmations written in the present tense. I already know some of you will read these words and know exactly what I'm talking about. Some of you will read these words and roll your eyes. Heck, I would have done the same thing just a few years ago and thought: "Here we go, with the positive thinking..." I'm a person of experience and practicality. So in the Fall of 2019, after learning more about monitoring my thoughts and the power of affirmations, I began my own experiment to intentionally change how I was thinking about my life in general. I started listening to positive affirmations multiple times of day, journaling about the life I wanted to live. I've maintained this new personal practice for the last two years and I can say without a shadow of a doubt: It works! If you want something different from what you currently experiencing it starts by changing your inner dialogue. The voice in your head matters. Take some time to take an inventory of the tone of voice in your mind. How do you speak about your life? How do you talk to yourself when you make a mistake? What language do you use when things are going great? If we want to change our lives, it starts with how we see and talk to ourselves. When we change our inner dialogue, everything else follows. So what are some things you can do today to start changing your internal dialogue for the better? Listen to positive affirmations or create your own and listen to them multiple times per day Journal about the life you want live and write it as if it's already existing. For example, you might write, I am so happy and grateful now that I love the work I do. Write your statement in the present tense. Find a mantra that resonates with you and repeat it often throughout the day. Once you focus on creating a positive outlook in life, you will notice how much default negativity is around you every day. Surround yourself with people who support your dreams and cheer you on. Mind work is hard work. You want people in your life who will encourage and help you along the way. Be gentle with yourself ‒ remember we are all growing and learning each day. Any mistakes or disappointments along the way should be seen as opportunities for redirection and stepping stones towards an alternative path. Life is a one-way journey into the future. Be mindful of our thoughts and you'll craft a future that you truly enjoy. The life you want is waiting for you. All you have to do is create it with your words. So what are you waiting for? Get started today! Follow me on LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Nicole! Nicole M. Augustine, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Nicole M. Augustine is a social entrepreneur, public health professional, and social justice advocate. She was born in Inglewood, CA, in the early 80s during the decade in America known for the "crack epidemic ." This was her first experience with social injustice, racial inequality, and the roots of trauma that plague many people. Her tale is one of resilience and opportunity, as her grandmother relocated the family to moved Edmond, OK, in the early 90s. After experiencing the stark contrast of both living environments, she became intrigued by the core reasons for differences in community outcomes. Nicole found herself studying sociology and public health and was drawn to understanding the root causes of health disparities. She received her B.A. in Sociology from Cornell University and her Master of Public Health from The George Washington University School of Public Health. Throughout her career in public health, she has focused her work on understanding health disparities and social inequality. Her personal life mission is to drive community and societal change while creating generational shifts in community wellness outcomes.

Written by: Ellen Kocher, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Did you know that the mere presence of your phone impacts your ability to solve problems and focus? Between smartphones and wearables like watches and rings, it’s challenging to escape technology today. The truth is, the mere presence of your device impacts your problem-solving and memory. The following graphic always impresses me where we see the difference in “working memory capacity” and “fluid intelligence” if our phone is on our desk, bag, or the other room. It shows that our brain is constantly “on” and cannot completely pay attention, focus, or relax. The continuous distraction also robs us of the ability to think more critically, to do the deep thinking required to solve more complex problems, or to be creative. Merely not seeing devices reduces pressure on willpower and temptation and keeps us less distracted helping us improve our stress, relationships, memory, and concentration. That’s why it’s essential to create tech-free zones @WORK and @HOME, especially since these zones are more and more integrated with most of us working from home. Tech-Free zones are dedicated areas of your home or workspace where you choose not to allow specific devices to be present. Again, this means mere presence, not just “on or off”, because the mere presence is what impacts your ability to problem solve and focus. Did you know? Meals together at the table without screens are scientifically proven to contribute to healthier social behavior and positive life outcomes for kids. Sleeping with a phone in the bedroom is proven to undermine cognitive functioning and mental health and increase the chances of obesity. 1 out of every 4 car accidents in the United States is caused by texting and driving. Phone screens brought to the bathroom carry ten times more bacteria than toilet seats. At work, quiet zones are the third highest-ranked amenity in terms of value for employees — higher than outdoor spaces, breakrooms, or cafeterias. How to start Evaluate what best inspires you, your family, or your employees to be the most present and relaxed. Calming music, natural light, and comfortable seating. Merely seeing nature through a window, image or plants can already have a calming effect. Communicate your strategy. Use this article to explain the well-being, relationship, and benefits — personal and professional — of unplugged zones. Negotiate your tech-free zones and times. At home, this might be the kitchen at mealtimes. At work, this might be between 9 am and 11 am to avoid phone distractions while you do focused work. The critical factor is to get buy-in from everyone involved. Fill the zone with non-tech options. In the kitchen, this might mean cooking together. Elsewhere, it might mean things like books, cards, board games, yoga mats, etc. Your tech-free zone should be a place to connect with the present, pursue personal or creative projects or just enjoy time with others. Set Up reminders. Something as simple as a sign in the zone or a subtle depository at the door is usually enough. Lead by example. Whether you are setting an example for your employees or your family, you need to walk your talk by adhering to your messaging. There is currently no solid scientific evidence that complete digital detoxes have any lasting benefits. Completely giving up your devices could even have negative consequences as you also give up many of the good things about tech. However, we need to create a balanced, responsible use of technology at @WORK and @HOME. Tech-free zones are a great place to start. As a Health and Wellness Coach, “tech-life balance” has become as much a part of my coaching as work-life balance, nutrition, activity, sleep, and recovery. Feel free to download all 10 TIPS to balance your online and unplugged time for yourself, your team, and your family. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read More from Ellen! Ellen Kocher, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Ellen Kocher is an Economist and Certified Workplace Wellness Consultant who holds a master’s degree in Health & Wellness Coaching. Following 10 years as an Executive in Finance, Ellen made some major lifestyles change and has dedicated the past 20+ years to walking her talk through workplace wellbeing, promoting a holistic approach to eating, physical activity, health, resilience, and self-care. Ellen has coached hundreds of individuals and groups in dozens of organizations to make sustainable lifestyle changes empowering them to go from knowing what to do to actually doing it! Most recently Ellen’s work focuses on the 50+ demographic.

Written by: Adrian Holguin, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. It is very common to believe that self-compassion makes you inferior to others and that it is a weakness. In a society that changes very quickly and in which you have access to too many stimuli through social networks of successful, perfect lives, abundance, and so on, it is quite normal to experience this. Whenever you begin to act based upon ifs and lack of opportunities, that is the beginning of self-compassion. Comparing yourself with others is the first step. "If I didn't have kids" "If I was taller" "If I was younger" "If I were richer" "If I was born in that house" In response to this comparison, you begin to say, well this is who I am, this is the life I was meant to live, but it doesn't happen to me, I am used to it. As usual, I am like this or it is just my luck. Throughout our lives, we have all had moments of self-compassion, especially when things don't seem to go our way. As a result, we feel anxious and depressed and lose confidence. As our confidence diminishes, we risk reducing our own potential as well as the security of achieving goals on a personal and professional level. It is no secret that pessimistic and negative individuals are not popular in their workplaces or in their social circles. Therefore, being highly self-compassionate reduces the chances of integration into work teams or friendship groups. Now that you understand the point, let's move forward to use this to your advantage. 1. Self-knowledge. Understanding yourself is the first step to overcoming them, and recognizing them is the first step to overcoming them. Become aware of your excessive self-compassion. Self-compassion isn't bad, but you need to recognize when enough is enough. Change the words. Creating compassionate relationships with ourselves helps to promote emotional well-being, according to Kristin Neff, author of the book "Be kind to yourself". There is growing evidence that self-compassion can also have a positive impact on physical health. It goes from the immune response to stress to the stabilization of glucose in diabetics. By changing your words and treating yourself with kindness, you are applying your growth mindset. A growth mindset increases motivation and changes long-standing patterns. A growth mindset encourages people to strive for improvement since their abilities and personalities are malleable. Self-compassion is what leads people to adopt a growth mindset. There is a huge difference between saying, "I knew I would fail" and saying, "I failed, but I can do it better next time.". This attitude is essential for success in the workplace. 2. Self-control. Make them aware of the thoughts you have and take control of them. You just have to change your words but inside your head. Approximately 60,000 thoughts occur each day in humans, 90 percent of which are repetitive, according to Stanford University's Fred Luskin. The mind is full of noise. Could you imagine what you could create, understand, or see if even 10% of it ceased? Consider all the possibilities. Now that you've changed your words, let's change the way you think about yourself. The simple thing with a simple thought is to start thinking "Oh God! It's just my luck!" instead of "Oh God, it's just my luck." Even though your brain is not an actual muscle, you can train it like one. Every thought in your head is the same as the repetition of crunches you do at the gym. Initially, you'll feel uncomfortable and sore, but after a couple of weeks, you'll see some definition and a six-pack after long hours of work. As with your brain and thinking, the more you practice, the happier you will feel. 3. Have faith. We all experience bad situations at some point in our lives, and we must draw up plans to get out of them. In order to grow, you must believe in yourself and be comfortable with the process. Nobody. I mean, no one grows at the same rate. Although you may not have as much money as you'd like at your age, it doesn't mean you're poor, you likely have a lot of skills and talents that haven't blossomed yet. Over the course of my personal and professional life. It has been my pleasure to know many people. According to my conclusions, there are some rich people who are very impoverished, and there are some poor people who are very rich. Sometimes happiness isn't only about material things. We all know the history of Colonel Sanders; he was very old and mature when he became a billionaire. Believe in yourself, and never stop learning because you never know when one of your special abilities will shine, and open doors and opportunities that you never had before. Put an end to comparing yourself with others. Say all the nicest things to you, and treat you like you are the most precious possession because you are. You have everything you need inside of you to succeed. You can build something new from your mistakes by using every failure as a step toward your goals. Remember that what you do today does not define who you can become tomorrow. Each day has 24 hours, so when you go to sleep you can change and try a new path. "Change your thoughts, change your life" Follow me on Instagram, and LinkedIn for more info! Read more from Adrian! Adrian Holguin, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Adrian Holguin is a leading industry executive and thought leader. Holguin has developed long-term growth strategies for companies in order to increase their revenue. Holguin has collaborated with top executives to understand their demands, develop practical solutions, implement procedures to address your problems, and develop innovations and transformation strategies that create value. Throughout his career, Holguin has worked for international corporations as well as small and medium-sized companies in the food industry. He is dedicated to helping individuals change their mindset so that they can achieve everything that they desire in life. "Change your thoughts, change your life" is his karma.

Written by: Yingli Wang, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. In my last article, “Who destroyed your trust?”, I talked about what trust is, the connection between distrust and childhood experiences, three significant effects of lacking/losing trust, and the importance of self-trust. In this article, I will give you more tools for dealing with trust problems, including the seven elements for measuring trust that will help you identity the trustworthy and untrustworthy. In the end, I invite you to look at trust from a different perspective, viewing it in a broader light, so that you are not limited by your own inherent beliefs about trust. Trust is more important than love British writer George MacDonald once said, “To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.” Sure, we all want to be loved, but to be known as someone who is trustworthy and reliable may be more important than being loved. In my work as a counsellor, I realized that not even I also could eliminate the deeply ingrained basic human need of wanting my clients to like me, even though I understand that my clients’ liking of me may involve many factors (for example, idealisation as part of psychological projections). What my clients like or love about me does not always fully reflect my true qualities and nature. But whenever my client tells me that she feels safe during the counselling process and that she can trust me and our relationship, I experience a deep emotion that is moving and fulfilling while also meeting a therapist’s responsibilities. I also believe that this represents the possibility of my client’s healing going to the next level, although this is not always the case in her relationship with me, as trust is not set in stone. Trust is dynamic, as I will discuss further at the end of this article. Trust is important for two reasons: 1. We need to feel physically and emotionally safe in our interpersonal relationship because then we will be able to express and share our thoughts, feelings, beliefs, ideas, and opinions explicitly and clearly. Trust makes honest communication possible, and the ability to communicate determines the health of a relationship. 2. We count on others to survive, complete tasks, and achieve our goals. The higher the degree of trust shared by people in a group situation, the stronger the group’s ability to cooperate and the better the performance will be. By trusting each other, we can share resources, help each other out, and accomplish our mutual goals. Two devastating consequences of betrayal No one is born distrustful. As I mentioned in my last article, distrust is mostly related to our experiences, especially in childhood. I believe that most people have experienced betrayal one way or another in their lifetime. Being betrayed has two devastating consequences: 1. Suspicion of others and the world When you trust someone, you make assumptions about them and how they would act, and these assumptions make you feel safe, certain, and even confident about the present and future. After your trust has been betrayed, any semblance of safety and certainty can collapse into pieces. When someone betrays you, you doubt not only the moment of the betrayal but also the past. You doubt the person they were before; if you do not know who they are now, how sure can you be of who they were? All of your beliefs about the other person and your relationship with them will be shattered and need re-examination. This fragmentation and disorientation can affect the way you see others and the world, which is, of course, perfectly normal. 2. Brewing in self-doubt When betrayal occurs, it adds a filter [MOU1] to the way you see others and the world, as well as creating deep self-doubt because you actually do not know the person you thought you knew. What you thought you were going through with the other person might not reflect reality, and you may still not know the reality. You might start to doubt everything, including yourself. You might feel that you do not understand human beings well and that you do not understand yourself well. You may also feel angry at yourself for being stupid, naïve, and gullible. How do you tell if someone is trustworthy? American fantasy and science fiction author Maria V. Snyder said, “Trusting is hard. Knowing who to trust, even harder.” After betrayal, trust problems can seem insurmountable, so I want to share with you the seven elements of trust devised by American research professor Dr. Brené Brown. When you do not know how to measure the trustworthiness of another person, you can use this tool to verify the information they give you, enabling you to make a better judgement. Trust is such a complex topic because humans are complicated; measuring and identifying it in a more concrete way will bring clarity to the problem. According to Dr. Brown’s research, trust can be broken up into seven key elements which make up the acronym BRAVING: Boundaries, Reliability, Accountability, Vault (confidentiality), Integrity, Non-Judgement, and Generosity. Here is what each of these terms means in terms of evaluating trustworthiness: (B)oundaries: They respect your boundaries, and, when they are not clear about what is okay and not okay, they ask. (R)eliability: They do what they say they will do. They do not overpromise. (A)ccountability: They own their mistakes, apologize, and make amends. (V)ault: They do not share information about you that is not theirs to share, and they do not share any confidential information with you about other people. (I)ntegrity: They choose courage over comfort. They choose what is right over what is easy. And they choose to practice their values rather than simply professing them. (N)on-Judgement: They ask for what they need and allow you to ask for it as well. Both of you can talk about how each other feel without judgement. (G)enerosity: They extend the most generous interpretation possible to the intentions, words, and actions of others. Trust is dynamic and not the end of the story In her TED Talk, German professor Anne Böckler-Raettig explained that “[t]rust is not something we can switch on; trust is an inherently dynamic process. Saying ‘I trust you’ or ‘Trust me’ is not the end of the story. It is really the beginning.” It might feel a little uncomfortable or disappointing for a lot of people to know that trust might not be permanent or fixed and that it can change. Most people, once they decide to trust someone, want that trust to last forever. However, people are complex and prone to change, which then causes the trust factors constituting the relationship between two people to change with the changing needs and expectations. This will indeed cause pain because people need safety and certainty. But I think knowing and accepting the changing nature of trust will help us face trust problems that may arise in the relationship with a more objective and non-evasive attitude, and we will no longer be blinded by our own assumptions, which is liberating and healing. If you have trust issues in your relationships and at work because of previous experiences of being hurt and betrayed, I am more than willing to orient you towards healing and provide you with the tools to effectively recognise the signs of distrust and trust. Here is how you can contact me: yingli@liveyourworth.co Follow me on Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Yingli! Yingli Wang, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Yingli Wang, is a mental health counsellor and a mother-daughter relationship coach/therapist who ‬cares deeply about women’s physical, emotional, and mental well-being.‬ Her mission is to help women between the ages of 18 and 45 to transform “Not-Good-Enough-Syndrome” into inner strength and resilience, and she also provides coaching sessions for women who struggle with their relationship with their mothers and want to establish healthy and effective boundaries. She offers professional counselling and coaching services in English and Mandarin in Southwest London and Online.

Suzanne Lieurance is an award-winning author, freelance writer, ghost writer, writing coach, speaker, online content creator, and CEO of WritebytheSea.com. She has written over 40 published books and her articles and stories have appeared in various magazines, newsletters, and newspapers, such as Family Fun, Instructor, New Moon for Girls, KC Weddings, The Journal of Reading, and Children’s Writer to name a few. Her mission as a coach is to help those with a passion for writing become the writers they’ve always wanted to be. Suzanne Lieurance, Writing Coach, Freelance Writer, Author Please tell us about you and your life, so we can get to know you better. For years, I was a classroom teacher who loved to write. Then one day I decided to leave the classroom to become a fulltime writer. I also became an instructor for the Institute of Children’s Literature and I worked with over 800 students teaching a correspondence course (everything for the course was done via snail mail back then) called Writing for Children and Teens. These days, I’m mainly a writing coach, author, and online content creator. I live and write by the sea on Florida’s beautiful Treasure Coast with my husband and business partner, Adrian. What is your business name and how do you help your clients? Since I live and write on the Atlantic coast of Florida, I named my business, Write by the Sea®. I help clients become the writers they’ve always wanted to be. I do this through group coaching and one-on-one coaching programs and other courses and materials offered online at the Write by the Sea Writers Academy. What kind of audience do you target your business towards? I target my business towards people who want to get published and make money writing. And since there are dozens of ways to get published and make money writing, I help people discover the path that is right for them. Tell us about a pivotal moment in your life that brought you to where you are today. There were two pivotal moments in my life that led to me starting my coaching business. The first was when my book Kidding Around Kansas City was published by a traditional publisher. This gave me the confidence to write more books (under contract from traditional publishers). The second pivotal moment was when I learned the school where I was teaching would be closing at the end of the school year and I was to be reassigned to another school in the fall. It’s tough changing schools, and I had done it many times. This time I decided to try to replace my teaching salary over the summer as a fulltime freelance writer. That’s what I did, so I never returned to the classroom. If you could change one thing about your industry, what would it be and why? Publishing is such a slow industry. It can take years to find an agent or publisher and then a year or longer to see a book published once it accepted by the publisher. I wish publishing could move at a faster pace. You’re both a published author and a writing coach, so, in your opinion, do all writers need a writing coach? Maybe, maybe not. But I think every writer could benefit from working with a writing coach. In fact, if you look around at the top performers today in any field—sports, sales, or even coaching itself—you’ll find that almost all these top performers have at least one thing in common. They all had a coach at one time or another in their professional careers. Whether your field is golf, tennis, running, sales, business management, or writing, a coach can help you perform at a much higher level. So, how does a good writing coach help a writer perform at a much higher level? There are dozens of ways, but here are some of the basic ones: 1. A good coach keeps the writer motivated. Since the writer will have to report regularly to the coach, he’ll get constant feedback and encouragement, which will keep him motivated to achieve his best. 2. A good coach offers the writer a system for success. With a system in place, the writer will be more likely to stick with writing. Plus, he won’t be taking just a hit-or-miss approach to success. 3. A good coach will help the writer learn to plan. The coach will help the writer set goals that are realistic and design training that will help the writer achieve those goals. In other words, a good coach will keep the writer focused. 4. A good coach will offer the writer professional advice. After a while, the writer won’t rely on the coach for every decision he makes about his career or performance. But he’ll still want the coach around when he needs a little professional advice. 5. A good coach will help the writer get beyond certain plateaus. Working alone, the writer might feel stuck at a certain point in his career. But a good coach will help the writer overcome those plateaus and move ahead to the next level of performance and accomplishment. 6. A good coach will help the writer accurately evaluate his progress. Sometimes it’s difficult to evaluate our own progress. We tend to focus on the negative, and only see our faults and failures. A good coach will help the writer see things more realistically. 7. A good coach will make the process enjoyable and interesting. A coach will help the writer design a working schedule that won’t overwhelm him, so he’ll enjoy the entire process of achieving his best. There are dozens of writing coaches today, what sets you apart from all the other coaches? Well, for one thing, I offer a variety of coaching programs for writers, and there are a couple of things I do as a writing coach that I think I probably do better than most any other coach. The first is—I give each of the clients in my coaching programs lots of individual attention, which includes phone calls and emails, and I provide them with all sorts of helpful resources for improving their writing and building their careers and/or businesses. Each of my clients receives constant one-on-one attention, so they don’t get stuck trying to reach their goals. Also, I can take care of the (often tricky) technical part of building an online author or freelance writer platform, so my clients don’t freeze up at this stage and never get to the writing part of building their careers or businesses. Most other writing coaches tell clients they need to create an author or freelance writing platform, but it’s up to the client to learn how to set up a site, install plugins, an opt-in box to build a mailing list, etc. and this can be overwhelming to anyone without any technical knowledge or experience. The next thing that sets me apart as a writing coaching is— together each client and I set up an individual weekly or monthly plan, so the client knows exactly what to do each weekday to reach his or her goals. And I hold the client personally accountable each week for sticking to this plan. It’s so easy to lose focus on your goals—especially if you’re a new writer—but that doesn’t happen with my clients. What’s the best way for a writer to see if you are the right coach for them? The best way is to subscribe to The Morning Nudge (it’s free), which I send out via email every weekday morning. It includes writing tips and words of encouragement to help writers start writing and continue writing. Subscribers also gain access to my private Resource Library for Writers, which contains dozens of materials, and new items are added all the time. The Nudge helps writers get to know me and gain firsthand knowledge of my expertise in writing and publishing. For writers who want a taste of my coaching, but don’t feel ready for my one-on-one programs, I offer The Monday Morning Shove. It’s a live, weekly group coaching program, via zoom, which includes a private Facebook group. Follow me on Facebook, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Suzanne!

Written by: Jana Morton, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. “I am sorry, I will cry today. I need to let it out. He wants to break up with me. I feel it.” That is how our session began. The client of mine, Elle, is 36 years old, a career woman, bright, intelligent, fun, outgoing, and ready to settle in with a kind, loving man she has been seeing for over a year. Today she sounds anxious, hopeless, and full of doubt, and I can’t see the spark she used to have. A completely broken woman is sobbing in front of me. “It is ok to cry. Let the emotions out. You are in a safe place.” I handed her a box of tissues. When you are ready, tell me what has been going on since our last session.” I encouraged her. Then she began to speak about how she had just moved in with him and didn’t feel comfortable in his place. That sometimes he has plans for a weekend and doesn’t include her, how he is often tired after work and wants to watch tv and unwind while completely ignoring her presence in his space, how he didn’t introduce her to his family yet, which she finds suspicious. How she organizes her time and schedule around him, but he is not doing the same for her. After work, he sometimes goes out with his friends rather than be with her. The list goes on. I was curious about the energy between them now ‒ compared to the vibrant, loving, and fun energy when they began dating. “Well, it is kind of stuck, tense, and not fun.” She replied. “What exactly is making it stuck, tense, and not fun?” I asked. She paused for a while, searching for an answer. Her body sank deeper into the chair. She began to cry again. When Elle was eight years old, her parents divorced. She adored her dad, but he was not very present. She was often alone in her childhood, unsupported and unseen, with a deep sense of sadness inside. No matter how much she cried, it never changed anything, so she learned to toughen up and not show her emotions. She grew into a very self-sufficient woman that is proud of not needing anyone. She rarely asks for support or asks in ways that others can’t hear. She may drop hints, gently imply, or ask in ways that make others run away, showing up as whiny, demanding, or even throwing a tantrum. When she is sad, she isolates herself. She doesn’t speak about what she feels or needs and is in fact, disconnected from her true feelings and needs. When she isolates herself, in her head, she creates the worst-case scenarios, where people she loves always leave ‒ and there is nothing she can do to prevent that, just like in her childhood when her dad left. This exact pattern started to take over her relationship now. She began to find evidence that her partner wanted to leave everywhere. With the first assumption we make, with the first unresolved conflict that keeps festering inside us, with the first unspoken worry we have in our relationship … we create the stuckness, tenseness, and not fun atmosphere. That is how powerful we are. Once we can see our part clearly, we can change the course of our relationship and bring the fun, love, and excitement back. My client could see how she started to show up in her relationship as the eight years old girl, whiny, tense, sad, not needing anyone on the outside, yet screaming to be seen on the inside. She is unable to speak about what she really feels and needs—being frustrated and angry, blaming her partner for her assumptions. It is much easier to blame others, yet if we allow ourselves to look deeper into what is really true and how we contribute to the dynamics of our relationships, that is where we find the gold. We explored the possibility for my client to have a first, honest conversation with her partner, where she shows up authentically, with all her worries and doubts, and where she allows herself to be vulnerable and share what is really going on inside of her. Scary! Way out of her comfort zone. But here is the thing ‒ if your life depended on having this honest, vulnerable conversation, you’d just have it, right? Her life doesn’t depend on it, but her relationship certainly does. Deep connection, love, and intimacy can only be created when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable and let others into our inner world. Follow me on Instagram, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Jana! Jana Morton, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Jana Morton is a conscious relationship / conscious uncoupling coach, trained and mentored by the relationship expert Katherine Woodward Thomas, M.A., MFT and holds a Brain-based professional coach certification. She collaborates with Hakkini ‒ a virtual well-being platform that caters to individual mental and emotional needs in the Middle East and beyond and L.E.A. Growing people ‒ HR consulting, training, mentoring, and coaching organization. Jana is an empath with deep listening skills, strong intuition, and a genuine interest in people’s love stories and relationship struggles. She is passionate about helping her clients overcome their challenges and limiting beliefs so they can transform their relationships and live and love with more ease and joy. Jana was struggling with unhealthy dynamics inside her own marriage. That is how she found Katherine Woodward Thomas’s methodology, which completely changed her life. She was able to liberate herself from a victimized perspective and transform into a self-actualized and self-responsible woman and partner. She now helps others to understand the mostly unconsciously created toxic dynamics in their relationships and guides them towards ones that are happy, healthy, and thriving.

Gina Martin is an Executive Leadership and High-Performance Coach, Mental Fitness Advocate, Entrepreneur, Mother, and Breast Cancer survivor. Gina’s Self-Leadership journey started when she became a single mother and immigrated to the US before turning 18. As an entrepreneur, she built two direct sales businesses where she drove record personal and team sales and received national recognition and multiple awards. Her passion for sales, love for people, and personal development led her to start her Retail Leadership journey. She trained, promoted, and impacted hundreds of individuals over a twenty-year career. She has led cross-functional teams of up to 600 people for prestigious brands such as Victoria's Secret, GUESS, Inc., and Gap. She is the founder of Gina Martin Coaching. Her mission as an Executive Leadership Coach & High-Performance Coach is to help her clients discover and develop their self-leadership skills, unlock what's keeping them from achieving the success they desire, and inspire them to take massive action toward creating the lifestyle they've always dreamed of and deserve. Gina Martin, Executive Leadership and High-Performance Coach Introduce yourself! Please tell us about you and your life, so we can get to know you better. In 1992, I was 18 years old with a toddler in my arms and $300 in my pocket. I was born and raised in Venezuela, but once my daughter was born, I knew I wanted to build a purposeful life for us in the place where dreams always seem to come true... America. We journeyed from Venezuela to New York and nestled in with family members until we could stand on our own. I did everything that I could to make ends meet. Working double shifts and multiple jobs, from cleaning houses to waitressing, I did it all. I didn't know it at the time, but all of that hard work and determination shaped me into a strong woman for myself and my family. My future self now thanks her. ​ My career in Retail took off shortly after I was given a starting position at my local Victoria's Secret. I worked my way up to the Manager's role and found my passion in leading teams, building relationships, coaching, and mentoring. I can now say that in the past 20 years, I've worked with many outstanding companies and extraordinary teams that I'm grateful to have been a part of, and I have been able to impact hundreds of individuals at various points in their career journeys. While all of that hard work and determination made me strong, love was what kept me compassionate. I have been able to build a wonderful life for myself and my family. That young girl who became a single mother at age 14 had dreams bigger than her, and although it hasn't been an easy journey, I am filled with overwhelming gratitude for everything I have accomplished. What is your business name, and how do you help your clients? I am the Founder of Gina Martin Coaching and an Executive Leadership and High-Performance Coach. We provide Executive and Leadership Coaching Services and deliver Workshops and Keynote Presentations. As an Executive Leadership Coach, I work one-on-one with clients looking to Level-Up their careers and optimize performance, wellness, and relationships. My focus is on developing strong partnerships with my clients with a balance of support and accountability necessary to help them achieve their desired outcomes. As a trained Facilitator and High-Performance Coach, I lead teams and individuals in a 7-week mental fitness program designed to boost their ability to overcome life’s challenges with a more positive and impactful mindset. As a Certified Master Practitioner of the Energy Leadership Index™ Assessment (ELI). I help clients and teams create awareness around their energy, how it influences their thoughts, feelings, actions, or reactions towards people, situations, and how they view the world. This awareness enables them to make conscious choices and live a more fulfilling and less stressful life. What kind of audience do you target your business towards? I love partnering with high-achieving women, helping them reassess their lives, and realign with their purpose. Inspire them to feel empowered and confident, so they can create the life they've dreamed of and enjoy the success they deserve. From a team perspective, I work with Leaders of High-Performing teams looking to create and sustain inclusive cultures that focus on individual and group development to optimize performance, retain top talent, and maintain long-lasting results. My core workshop topics include Energy Leadership, Leading High-Performing Teams, Creating Work/life Harmony, and Self-Leadership Habits of Highly Resilient Leaders. What would you like to achieve for yourself and your business in the future? In the near future, I am working on becoming an International Speaker and delivering my first TEDx Talk. Also in the works, I am writing my first book, potentially launching in Spring 2023, and in my business, continuing to scale in team size and services that we deliver and potentially expanding to an online training platform to provide Leadership Training Courses. Who inspires you to be the best that you can be? My two wonderful daughters, whom I adore and am so proud of. Without them, my world would not be the same. They are my “WHY” and the reason I get up every day with the mission of showing up as my best self for me and others. My mother, the most amazing woman I know, worked day and night to raise and provide for two daughters and did so with tons of love and laughter. Who’s strength still amazes me and supports me to this day. Tell us about a pivotal moment in your life that brought you to where you are today. In early 2021 I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer, which caused me to step back from the business to take care of myself. After going through a 14-month treatment and healing journey, I have learned a few important lessons that I love to share with others. The most important thing in your life is taking care of yourself. You cannot take care of others if you are not taking care of yourself first. Your mental, physical and spiritual health needs to be aligned to find fulfillment and live a life of joy, success, and achievement. Learn self-compassion and practice self-love; give yourself a break and be your biggest cheerleader. The most critical moment in your life is the present moment. Stop worrying about the past or the future, and enjoy the now. Be present for you, so you can experience life fully and be present with others to have deep, meaningful relationships. Today, I am even more inspired and determined to help women succeed and expand the impact I have in the world. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Gina!

Written by: Marcella Friel , Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Brenda’s boss was not to be disobeyed. So when he would request, at 5:30 p.m., that Brenda deliver an “emergency” report to his inbox by 9 the following morning, Brenda felt no choice but to comply. Even though Mr. Boss Man would send these emails just as she was leaving for the day, Brenda would nonetheless sigh, drop her bags, turn her desk lamp back on, and continue working, uncompensated, long after everyone else (including her boss) had left. When Brenda finally got home at 10 at night, she was too exhausted to even think about dinner. And she would never consider inconveniencing her husband to have some food ready when she got home. So Brenda often went to bed hungry, rushed out the door at 7 the next morning, and devoured the bowls of M&M’s in the office breakroom for “breakfast.” When Brenda and I met for an initial consultati on , hot tears streamed down her flushed face as she lamented that her weight-loss goals were drifting farther and farther away. The “Type-W” Personality If you, like Brenda, put yourself 23rd on the list of people you care for, and if you inwardly rage or despair at your body for holding on to every pound of weight, you might have what I’ve come to call the “Type-W” Personality . Lest this ersatz diagnosis gives you some reason to beat yourself up— again —let me unpack what I mean. So many of us, when we hear the term self-care, think of pedicures at the day spa. And yes indeed, on the right day, at the right time, for the right reason, a pedicure at the day spa can be just what we need to lift our spirits and face life anew. However, if you want that sustained breakthrough to well-being that includes a naturally comfortable body size … then pedicures at the day spa will only take you so far. True self-care—the kind that restores and sustains you spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically—is a way of life. A series of tiny habits that you build as you go, inside of a community of support. Yet, although you already know this, here’s where “Type-W” comes in: You know it but you don’t do it. Why not? It’s not because you’re lazy. It’s not because you don’t have will-power. It’s because of the one thing that’s so obvious it would never occur to you as a problem. Let’s take a deeper look together, shall we? The Body Does What the Soul Cannot Trauma and addiction expert Gabor Maté states that, in early life, we human beings have two non-negotiable needs that must be met in order for us to survive: The first is the deep need to attach to adults who will not only provide food, clothing, touch, and shelter but who will also soothe us when we cry, celebrate us when we succeed, and help us find our way in the world. Without this attachment to our human caregivers, we simply cannot thrive. So when those adults—due to stress, addiction, mental illness, or habitual conditioning—can’t attach lovingly to their offspring, that child’s pre-cognitive brain will seek to meet its needs as a matter of life or death. As a little girl, Brenda learned how eke out whatever approval she could get from her rageaholic father and co-dependent mother—two adults unable to form healthy bonds with each other or with her. In order to siphon whatever nurturance she could from the rubble of her upbringing, Brenda had to forego the second essential need Dr. Maté identifies: the need for authenticity. Unbeknownst to her, in her early life Brenda faced a dilemma: If she were truly to express the rage, despair, and sorrow she felt from her mistreatment, she would risk Mommy and Daddy’s rejection or punishment. And since no child’s soul can tolerate such abandonment, she will instead sacrifice her authentic emotions on the altar of attachment and banish her needs to the hinterlands of her psyche. What happens then? Brenda grows up suppressing her gut feelings. Panicking when difficult emotions surface. Yanking the plug from her inner GPS and losing all direction in the terra incognita of her true needs. Brenda—and others just like her—become a nice girl —to gain accolades from her supervisors and praises from her peers—while feeling a pervasive, unnamable shame for asking for what she needs or receiving what she’s owed. While people-pleasing is more socially acceptable than other addictions, Brenda paid a high price for holding up such a heavy façade. Having lost touch with her inner voice, Brenda’s body took up the slack and shouted its protest loud and clear in the form of weight gain and other inflammatory afflictions. In her words, “I am afraid to be seen. When I lose weight, I get lots of compliments and attention. I then get uncomfortable getting noticed. I want to look and feel good for me, but I don’t want everyone else to make a fuss. I also know it’s a security blanket. My dad was an abuser and always watched women and made inappropriate comments. I was very aware of how some people watch women and despised it.” Brenda turned her subconscious fury inward through a lifetime of sugar addiction, yo-yo dieting, and relentless body hatred, all the while continuing to play nice-nice in the eyes of others. Calling Her Soul Back Home The good news in Brenda’s otherwise hopeless morass is that Mother Nature, in her infinite mercy, blessed her—and all of us—with qualities of resilience such that, despite a lifetime of attempted suppression, the authentic self cannot completely disappear. Somewhere—somehow—in the deepest depths of her being, Brenda knew it sucked to treat herself so badly. That inner knowing broke wide open one day when Brenda stepped on the scale and nearly fainted in tears. Her inner GPS could no longer be ignored. The incongruence could no longer be tolerated. She recognized that old wounds were opening. She wanted to work on them but didn’t want to do it alone. When Brenda joined my Women, Food & Forgiveness Academy and heard the term self-abandonment , a light abruptly snapped on: “This is so on the mark!” she wrote. “I’ve tried counseling, weight-loss plans, exercise plans, clean-food plans, and I’ve only focused on the behaviors I need to change instead of exploring the why. This uncovers so much for me.” From that moment on, Brenda set to work calling her soul home from the “Type-W Personality.” Sharing her experiences inside an intimate group of women who understood her struggles enabled Brenda to understand herself as never before. As she rolled up her sleeves and dug in to 12 months of rigorous learning and unlearning, Brenda’s people-pleasing nice girl got on board with her healing. She educated herself on the importance of blood-sugar regulation to tame her moods and curb her cravings. She repeatedly traded in her “not good enough” self-talk for “I deserve” affirmations. Most important, Brenda revisited the darkest moments of her childhood and gave herself permission to feel and release the rage that she had literally eaten her entire life. Using EFT Tapping and other somatic tools, Brenda washed the early-life traumas out of her brain and soothed her panic around eating and self-care. She lovingly recognized that her parents’ sicknesses were not about her and dropped the emotional weight of giving them power over her life, along with the shame and guilt she carried on their behalf. As Brenda grounded herself more and more in self-respect, she came to see that, in fact, she had never betrayed herself. Everything she had ever done was born from the desire to love and protect herself against all odds. Brenda’s soul got the coast-is-clear sign to start tip-toeing back home to her body. As it did, her habits began to change. She packed her lunch for work most days and walked past the M&M’s. She stopped taking her boss’s intimidation so personally and gradually set more limits with him, including leaving work on time. She set aside weekend time to move her body in ways that felt joyful t o do . The next time she stepped on the scale, Brenda wasn’t surprised to see that she’d lost 40 pounds living a lifestyle that prioritized her self-care. A year after she completed the Academy, Brenda dropped me a line and had this to say: I feel like I’m in a good place right now. I was offered another job, and my boss really 'got it.' He took a ton of things off my plate. He is respecting my personal and professional needs more. Our relationship is less strained. So I declined the other position and am truly looking forward to next year. … My youngest daughter just left for college, and my husband and I are excited about getting to know each other again in this next chapter of our lives.” The great Zen master Shunryu Suzuki-roshi once said, “Sometimes the worst horse is the best horse.” Sometimes the worst “Type-W”s become the best masters of self-care. So take heart. Far from being a life sentence, the “Type-W” Personality contains within it gifts and blessings and lessons that, when mined properly, become your strongest allies on the healing journey. You can’t mean-talk yourself to body-love. Sign up for Marcella’s free webinar, Love the Woman You See in the Mirror without Doing Another Damn Diet, and find the self-respect that no number on the scale— high or low —can ever give you. Follow me on Facebook and visit my website for more info! Read more from Marcella! Marcella Friel, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine MARCELLA FRIEL is a mindful eating mentor who helps health-conscious women love and forgive themselves, their food, and their figure. Marcella is author of "Tap, Taste, Heal: Use Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) to Eat Joyfully and Love Your Body." In 2018 Marcella founded the Women, Food & Forgiveness Academy, an online transformational mentorship program to help health-conscious women heal the emotional and metabolic roots of yo-yo dieting, binge eating, sugar addiction, and chronic body shaming. Marcella draws on nearly 3 decades of 12-step recovery and 35 years’ practice of Tibetan Buddhism to help women heal the self-hatred traumas that lie at the very root of their nervous system. She passionately holds an unflinching faith in trauma as the catalyst of evolution and guides others in dowsing their life experiences to find the gold amidst the dross. Learn more about Marcella by visiting marcellafriel.com

Written by: Christelle Deblon, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Autumn is there. We enjoy less light, hear bad news everywhere, our morale goes down. The temptation to complain, to position yourself as a victim, is prominent. A victim of what exactly? We don't know in fact. As a victim, quite simply. The problem is that when you put yourself in the victim position, you wait blissfully for your saviour. And no, no saviour on his white steed will come and solve bad news, late trains, falling leaves or shortening days. That’s a good opportunity to have a look the victim position: what it entails, what it brings and how harmful it is. To put oneself in the position of the victim is to proclaim one's powerlessness. It is a desperate cry for help. It is to deny one's ability to act and to give power to someone else. It is a state of negative energy, necessarily harmful to you and those around you. Not to mention that complaining is a good hook to start a drama triangle. So everything is bad in complaining? Yes, but …no! I like to think that every complaint hides a need that seeks to be expressed. If I complain about being alone, it's because I need company. If I complain about boredom at work, I still long for fulfilling work. If I complain about traffic jams, it is because I need to make better use of my time. The beauty of needs is that they are universal, and above all they can be satisfied in different ways. This is the difference between need and want. I need to entertain myself? I can dive into a good novel, go for a drink with a friend, go to the cinema, go for a walk in nature or visit a museum. This is one of the fascinating concepts of Non-Violent Communication. So let's go back to our complaint. What need does it reveal? Once you have identified the need, what are the options for satisfying it? And this is where the problem lies, because if you complain, it is probably because you believe that you cannot change the situation. This is where I need to unleash one of my favourite tools, the circle of influence, and especially the tactics to increase the area of control. I'll use the example of traffic jams. I'm tired of spending so much time commuting to work. The traffic jams are becoming unbearable, plus I can't do anything in the car, it's a real waste of time. In this situation, one thing is totally out of my control, and that is the traffic on the road. Yet I have plenty of options! The thing is, each of them has a price, which we are often not prepared to pay. Let's see what happens: I could leave earlier. The price is to sacrifice part of my night, and perhaps also to miss some late afternoon meetings. I could do more teleworking if it is possible in my job. The price can seem low, but you’ll have to adapt to this way of working (for many of us, post-covid, not a problem!). I could take public transport. Of course, I don't have any more impact on train delays than on traffic jams, but at least on the train, I can relax, read, or work. I could change jobs. This is of course, an ‘expensive’ solution. I have to leave my comfort zone, make up a decision, look for another job, and maybe get a lower salary I could move house to reduce my commuting time. Again, a high-price solution, but why not? Often, it is not that we have no option. It is that we are not ready to pay the price. We remain in a desperate wait for a miracle solution. Nothing changes, except that my problem is solved. But that's not what life is about, is it? By becoming aware of your complaint, by taking a step back, by clearly expressing your need, you actively put the problem on the table; it becomes an issue that can be addressed. You can look for solutions. By talking about it around you, other ideas will likely emerge, and opportunities will open up. And before you know it, your problem is solved. As long as you are prepared to accept that it has a price. Sometimes, there is no solution. Leaves will keep on falling from the trees in October. But you have a last option: you can look at the situation differently. Because if you don't always have full control over what happens to you, you can always decide how you see things. For example, despite my good will, I can’t always avoid taking my car. So I've created a selection of podcasts that I listen to when I have to make a long car journey. I replace a lost moment with time I invest in my general culture. The situation hasn't changed, but the way I see it, and therefore my frustrations, have. To conclude on the complaint and the victim position, I appeal to you. Take it easy on yourself if you find yourself in the act of victimisation. It's completely embedded in our culture, the media is full of it, and the world is full of saviours who need you to confirm that they are useful. So next time, just pause, ask yourself what your need is, explore the solutions and take action. Follow me on LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Christelle! Christelle Deblon, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine "For Christelle, joy is definitely the greatest emotion one can feel. She dreams of a world where everyone wakes up in the morning anticipating the joy of the working day to come. Not only she dreams of this, but she puts all her positive energy and broad skillset into action to make this vision become reality and to impact the professional world. Before being a coach, she worked in marketing, communication and direct sales. She then had the chance to become a people manager. That's when she discovered her mission: helping others to become the very best version of themselves in their professional life. In 2011, she decided to make her dream come true: she learned coaching, and started her own business. For the last 10 years, she provides hundreds of days of training, facilitated work sessions in sectors as going from banking to semi-conductors sales, helped teams and individuals to improve, led projects, and enjoyed every single day! Living in Belgium, her mother tongue is French, and she works in English and Dutch as well. She successfully completed her Coaching training in 2013, and kept on developing herself continuously ever since. She is certified in Stress & Burnout Coaching, Prosci ADKAR change management and Appreciative Inquiry (Case Western University). She contributed to two chapters of 'Le grand livre de l'Appreciative Inquiry' published in 2021."

When striving for a more prosperous and productive life, many people find it easier to assume there is a magic and easy answer to it all. Luckily, there is! Developing healthy habits is the secret to achieving set goals and leas to reaching more levels of success in life. However, the journey to creating and sticking to healthy habits is not always the smoothest; it involves discipline, patience, and practice. Everest Business Funding , an organization that works with entrepreneurs to provide alternative finance options, comments that business owners can tremendously benefit both their personal and professional lives by developing healthy habits, and here’s how: 1. First, Identify Bad Habits As people maneuver through their day-to-day lives, the demand for decision-making never stops. However, when choosing how to think, act, and react, humans can categorize their decisions into healthy and unhealthy. For example, it is lunchtime, when the choice to eat unhealthy food or healthy food is on the table. The more times a person chooses an unhealthy choice for lunch, the more that person is practicing a bad or unhealthy habit. Individuals need to start by identifying all the harmful patterns they choose to maintain daily by opting for unhealthy over healthy. Creating a self-awareness about what present-day habits are deemed bad creates clarity on where to start working and helps with being more mindful of choosing healthy and practicing healthy options. 2. Try Starting with A Simple Change Biting off more than one can chew from the start will lead to choking. In other words, trying to make too big of a change to a schedule will often lead to failure to maintain it. After identifying daily bad habits, a great way to get the ball rolling in the right direction is to start with a minor schedule change in the direction of a healthy habit. To implement this baby step, choose a slight schedule alteration, such as aiming to go to bed an earlier hour. A productive human day is typically best fueled by eight hours of sleep . Starting with the basics, such as going to bed earlier to gain a full night’s rest, will get anyone off on the right foot. 3. Create a Plan After trying out and experiencing the success of a baby step (because multiple baby steps lead to a significant accomplishment), it is time to create a plan. Start by mapping out all the bad habits that need to be altered by good choices, leading to healthy habits. Then create a plan that consists of a timeline of baby steps that can be added into a daily routine and specific actions to help check off those baby steps daily. 4. Avoid Burnout A quick killer of healthy habits is burnout. Feelings of exhaustion can leave the brain and body in a state of lag, often leading to a lack of motivation to work towards healthy habits. Stay on track and avoid burnout by setting aside personal time for self-care, whether that be a yoga class or reading a book for fun. About Everest Business Funding Everest Business Funding provides alternative finance options and revenue-based funding to small business owners. They serve a diverse pool of businesses, from healthcare to retail, to help them obtain working capital to grow, buy inventory, launch marketing campaigns, or hire staff. Everest Business Funding’s clients are treated with respect and receive high-quality guidance and service from its professionals.

Written by: Jane Morales, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. We all have bad days and sometimes feel our mind is not reasonably alert. First, there is mental confusion, a state that has several degrees of clouding our thoughts. It takes us a long time to find what we need or even remember what we must do. They all have the exact origin: a decrease in the level of consciousness and too much clutter. Consciousness is one of the most complex topics of both psychology and philosophy. Still, we can define it as the ability to perceive, know or recognize what happens within us and in our environment. This situation is not trivial because our brain cannot digest all the information that enters our senses and simultaneously stores it in our memories. But what exactly is the mental blockage? When does it occur? Mental block and clutter usually activate high states of anxiety. We can understand it as a feeling of daze, of not being able to access our thoughts, which prevents us from acting in a particular situation. A simple example where we can observe mental blockage & clutter due to anxiety is in the students. Many times, before an important exam for which they have been studying for a long time, the pressure is strenuous. Therefore, their anxiety is also high. When it is time to take the exam, some students report having "blank" in the face of questions they had studied, which leads to frustration and fear that it will happen again. There can be many causes that lead us to suffer a mental block & clutter due to anxiety, stress, or losing control of our thoughts. But, in general, we could say that it happens in high states of fear when we perceive that the situation we must face outperforms us or we do not have enough resources to face it. We live in a culture that sponsors well-being. We know what to eat and how many minutes it is worth playing sports, and we spend hours looking for stability to live better. Still, we have an Achilles heel: we live with constant anxiety, lack of mental control, no mindful training, and too much mental clutter that we have no idea how to manage. Mental fog is a symptom, not a disease in itself. Our body and mind are a reflection of ourselves, which means that physical or physical health is a consequence of balanced mental and emotional health. That is why it is necessary that in addition to those plans that you set yourself to take care of your physique, you also carry them out to take care of your mental health. We must take care of both the inner self and the external body. Our robotic monotone routines make us lose perspective; we begin to get into everyday problems, lose our spirits and enthusiasm, and stop doing the things we like. Then, finally, clutter takes over, and we get lost. We also start looking for ways to compensate for the alteration of our mood with bad habits, such as abusing food or drink, smoking, oversleeping, etc., thinking that this will bring some calmness to our well-being. For such reasons, it is imperative to spend time developing good emotional habits in this way. Then, we will be more alert and willing to try new things, to discover and enjoy the things that make us feel good all the time. Pay attention to your unfavorable ideas. It is not about thinking "positively" or forcing ourselves to see things with optimism but about making us aware of what our mental chatter is telling us. We cannot change what we do not see, so attention, in this case, is significant. We will discover some (or many) thoughts that take away our energy, exhaust us, cause us fear or concern, and prevent us from looking for creative solutions and enjoying the present. Make a list of concerns. We often waste energy worrying about all those things we must do and cannot manage. We are also obsessed with catastrophes that we imagine could be threatening us at any moment. In the end, we propose an exercise that, although it does not solve those concerns, can help us to relativize them and give them another place. Cancel those thoughts and practice observing everything that goes through your mind. Pay attention to your environment. Just like when you want to take care of yourself, you look at the foods you eat and look for those who nourish and care for you. So why don't you start paying attention to your mental nutrition? What are you feeding your mind every day? Look at the news you see, what you read, your conversations, your meetings, and the social media messages you expose yourself to, and for 24 hours, write how they make you feel in a notebook. Also, watch your words and how you express yourself to others. Are your comments positive, or do they tend to be negative? It is essential to realize the type of environment that surrounds us and analyze its impact on our mental state. Take three pauses throughout the day, observe your emotional state without judging, and make a summary of everything you have offered to your mind during the day. Do a cleaning job on your thoughts. Reflect on the situations that affect you. For example, how much is reality, how much of it is fantasy, and what assumptions are there? You may see that many hypotheses and fears are a product of your imagination and belong to the field of uncertainty. Not something that's going to happen. Even if the dreaded situation happens or the fact that worries us arises, we realize that it usually was less severe than it seems. Was it worth it taking up so much of your mind space? Practice relaxation techniques For example, you can try breathing exercises. Also, you can add stretching and progressive muscle relaxation. Silence and outdoor walks can be an option. These options help calm our minds and focus on the here and now. They help us avoid staying trapped in the affairs of the past or future problems. Surround yourself with people who add to your well-being and do not drain all your energy. It has happened to all of us that we feel we are running out of energy after spending time with someone that alters our well-being. So many people live negatively, always complaining and being part of the problem. We must move away from negativity and choose the side of the solution. Your mind is your most important superpower. Your mind creates a map of your reality. What we build with our minds is what will come true. Be careful!! Yes, that our mind is our superpower is a topic for a future article, but for now, take care of it, declutter those unnecessary thoughts and focus on giving it some rest. It is worth it. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Jane Morales, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Jane Morales is a Human Development, Leadership, and Assertiveness Coach, Meditation Master, Writer, and Public Speaker. She holds a BS in Marketing from Bentley University in Boston and a Master of Science in Communications from Boston University. In addition to her higher education, she is trained in The Power of Intention, Positive Affirmations, and Living your own Success. She completed a higher degree in Psychosynthesis Psychology which expands the boundaries of human potential exploring values and purpose in life.