Written by: Sue Plumtree, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. One of the things I didn’t anticipate when I started my free Meetup events is people sharing heart-breaking stories about their marriages and relationships. When I ask them why they stay, the most common answer is they are financially dependent. “At least, some say, I have a roof over my head.” I felt really distressed when one man, said something similar despite having suffered verbal abuse for nearly 20 years. He confided that he was now in his early 60s, with his confidence shattered. Leaving a long-term relationship is difficult at the best of times but, when the choice is between abuse and financial hardship, what would you choose? This is a question I can’t answer because, when I decided to leave my marriage of 37 years when I was 60 at least I had a job. So what would I say to those of you trapped in a loveless relationship? I would certainly not give you advice because every situation is different but what I would do is suggest the following. I know it’s easy to say but think of the years still ahead of you – how would you like them to be? What would your life be like if nothing changes? How would you feel? Who would you become under the weight of unhappiness? If money is an issue then I would urge you to start saving starting right now. You’ll feel more confident and good about yourself knowing you’re doing something for yourself even if saving enough to buy your freedom is a long way away. The point is taking action, any action instead of resigning yourself to a life of ongoing unhappiness and suffering. But what about the lure of your comfort zone? The problem with making changes that could lead to a happier life is the hold that our comfort zone has on us. People often ask me why I stayed in my first marriage as long as I did which is a great question. I used to make a joke of it saying, “I’m a slow learner!” Later, when I tried to be honest, I’d say, “It’s complicated” (which it was). I’d say things like, “One reason is I loved him” (which I did for a very long time), “another reason is that I’d never lived alone before and I was scared I’d feel lonely and isolated” (which was true), and “It never occurred to me that I could actually leave” (which, believe it or not, was also true). I think the last one comes closest to the truth. I’d never had a serious relationship before I met Bill so I couldn’t imagine not being married to him. 37 years is a long time and the idea of uprooting myself to move towards the unknown never occurred to me. At least I lived a life that was familiar to me. Even the pain, the sadness and the loneliness was part of that familiarity. If somebody had asked me what a happy and fulfilled life would look like I would have had to admit I had no idea. Such is the pull of the comfort zone where the Gremlin, our negative inner critic, lives. And then, a few days ago, I had a flash of insight. When we’re unhappy it’s practically impossible to imagine what happiness and fulfilment would look like for us. That is a journey of discovery. Leaving a relationship is a huge step, a step that changes who we are, and that’s a gradual process. We can’t ever be free of our comfort zone but we can expand it When I finally decided to leave my marriage when I was 60 it was a decision that changed me fundamentally. I went from being a victim to being empowered. I went from feeling fearful to becoming courageous. I went from feeling hopeless to feeling hopeful. I started taking risks. I moved beyond the fear of the unknown and embraced ambiguity – a huge step for somebody who craved security and the familiar. I risked asking for help not knowing if I’d get a yes or a no. I put myself on the line when I got a no and, instead of retreating as I used to do, I asked someone else. Even better, I learned to do more myself. There came a point when the momentum kept carrying me along. I started telling people the truth instead of projecting a false image of confidence and success as I used to do believing it would get people to like me when, in reality, the opposite was true. When I made myself emotionally vulnerable and shared how things were really like for me I discovered to my surprise that this encouraged people to also share their truth. And the rest, as they say, is history. Nevertheless, it’s fair to say that the struggle against the pull of the comfort zone including the Gremlin with its whispers of fears and self-doubts, of unnamed dangers ahead and the lure of the familiar was hard. But you might be one of those people who had the courage to leave your marriage and are ready for love again. The problem now is a different one. You earned your freedom the hard way and created a new life for yourself which is great. But there is a downside which I realised when somebody I was talking to the other day said they would like to find love again but they would have to accept that she was set in her ways and they would have to adapt to her. But finding the right partner for you requires an open mind and an open heart instead of fear of change and disruption. Clinging to the familiar is unlikely to get you what you say you want, assuming you really want love. That doesn’t mean you have to give up who you are. It means facing your fears – because it’s fear that keeps us in our comfort zone. It means changing our mindset from fixed to open. It means realising that we’re not cast in stone but that we can change and grow, that we’re a work in progress.  But it requires the willingness to make ourselves uncomfortable, to experiment, to learn new things, to talk with people who are different from us, to listen to different opinions without believing that ours is the only one as I used to try and impose mine on Bill. Most of all, it’s a journey of discovery – about ourselves and the world. If you’re curious enough to want to know more, why don’t you join my next online Meetup event – ‘How To Recognise The Right Partner For You’ – on Wednesday, 7 December for 1-1/2 hours starting at 6 pm GMT? Google Meetup, search ‘Create Your Perfect Relationship Group’ and register. On reflection, it would be great to have a virtual coffee/tea/hot chocolate and get to know you a little bit first. Are you up for it? If you are, choose a suitable date/time from my calendar. I look forward to chatting with you. Follow me on Facebook, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Sue! Sue Plumtree, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Sue’s passion is to enable people to build strong and loving relationships. Her third book, ‘Open Your Heart: The 7 Secrets Of Strong And Loving Relationships’, is getting 5* reviews on Amazon. Sue was unhappily married for 37 years when she finally left aged 60. Over the following 10 years, she built a successful coaching practice working with people over 50, wrote her autobiography, and built solid friendships. In December 2015, aged 70, she met Dave, her best friend, lover, soulmate, and now her husband. As a prolific writer and regular blogger, Sue shares her painfully acquired wisdom about what works and doesn’t work in a relationship, as well as how it affects our emotional, and mental health and wellbeing. She also loves writing about how to build strong, loving, and long-lasting relationships both from personal experience as well as research articles and longitudinal studies. Sue is a personal relationship coach, trainer, facilitator, and published author.

Written by: Jill Yeiter, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. You want to stop dieting and ditch the scale so you can improve your relationship with food and your body, but are not sure where to start. Perhaps you have information overload or you simply don’t trust yourself. This article can be helpful if you’d like a fresh perspective on “healthy weight.” A bit of background… I’m a Wellness Coach with a Bachelor’s in Lifestyle Management and over a decade of experience helping people feel better in their bodies. I became certified as an Intuitive Eating Coach so I could help others heal their relationship with food and their bodies. I have a deep understanding of the painful emotions that can surface when you feel disconnected from yourself and Intuitive Eating is one way to bring yourself back into alignment. How do I stop dieting? Giving up diet culture requires a fundamental paradigm shift to stop looking outside of yourself and following food rules. If you are ready to stop dieting you are… Serious about making sustainable changes Ready to heal your relationship with food and your body Willing to prioritize wellness over body weight Committed to ongoing self-care Able to look inward and self-assess Capable of enjoying the journey What is Intuitive Eating? Intuitive Eating is a paradigm, not a diet, that can help you heal your relationship with food and your body. It is grounded in self-care and based on 10 guiding principles designed to help you listen inward so that you can make choices in alignment with your body and unique set of circumstances. A few of these principles include honoring your hunger, making peace with food, and coping with your emotions without using food. What is “healthy weight”? First, let’s introduce a few definitions of “healthy weight”. A very clinical and objective definition, according to the Center for Disease Control classifies weight according to Body Mass Index or BMI, which is a height-to-weight ratio. My much more subjective and personal definition is, “A body shape and size I can maintain with ease when consistently engaging in sustainable habits related to food, movement, stress management, etc.” I encourage you to take the time to consider what your own unique definition of healthy weight is. What’s the relationship between Intuitive Eating and “healthy weight”? Intuitive Eating is grounded in self-care, so it will never prioritize a number on the scale over the sustainability of your health habits. Intuitive Eating recognizes that health comes in many individual shapes and sizes. Weight is multifaceted and only one aspect of health. Body weight is influenced by many factors, including food, culture, beliefs, movement, mindset, stress, physiology, environment, and more, and is only one objective piece of data related to your health. You can positively influence your health in so many ways that are more positive than focusing on the number on the scale, such as managing your stress, getting regular movement, and eating in ways that nourish your body and soul. What’s your food story? It can also be quite helpful to get better acquainted with your own story about food. Below are a few journaling prompts to explore… What is your very first memory of food? What was the food culture like in your family growing up? What are some of the things you say to yourself about food? How does all this affect the way you feel about food and your body? What would an ideal day in your food life look like? All You Need to Know Intuitive Eating is a paradigm that can help you heal your relationship with food and your body. Healthy weight has many definitions, and it can help to create your own. Intuitive Eating is grounded in self-care and does not prioritize weight over health. Weight is multifaceted and only one aspect of health. It can help to explore your own food story. Call To Action If you’d like help, I’m a healthy weight Coach and can be reached at healwithjill.com or learn more in my free masterclass, Ditch the Scale. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Jill! Jill Yeiter, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Jill Yeiter is a Wellness Coach with a Bachelor's in Lifestyle management and two decades of experience helping others improve their health. She has expertise in Workplace Wellness, Pilates, Intuitive Eating, and more. She currently runs an online business, Heal With Jill, and offers a variety of free resources in addition to her paid coaching services.

Written by: Benjamin Gonzalez, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. There are moments in life when we feel that everything starts to slow down after a period of apparent success, these moments create a feeling of being stuck, and lost, creating anxiety and a big feeling of uncertainty. I like to picture this as a stream flowing and suddenly, getting stuck, creating a puddle, that puddle will be still until another force propels its movement. The same thing happens to us, we keep waiting for external factors, and new situations to occur so we can feel that we are moving forward in our projects when in reality we also have the option to get out of this stagnant period and align to our goals, dreams and desires by choosing to see success and progress in our day by day life becoming the creators of our reality, no matter the situation. Here are the steps to shift your reality and live your purpose. Have the intention to change or find answers Having an intention is a key for everything we do in life, when we do things unintentionally we can get lost in egoistic ideas or thought loops that lead us to stagnancy, doing things with intention does the opposite, it opens us to the possibility of finding whatever we are looking for if you intend to get out of this stagnant period and find the thoughts that will bring you new possibilities and ideas, then be certain that they will come, intention drives your attention towards your desired outcome. Observe your thoughts If you’ve read my other articles you know how big I think this point is, observing our mind is a key to finding the things that are blocking us, as well as the things that are pushing us forward. That inner voice is not your enemy, it is nothing but a tool to construct reality and we develop and reprogram it throughout our lifetime. When we develop this tool by observing without judging or labelling, we can use these thoughts, either change them or shift them to something that will help us build that bridge toward fulfillment. TIP: Observe your thoughts and write them down for 10 minutes each day, at least 3 times a week to have a broader idea of what is in your mind and why you feel stuck, then you can change your reality. Finding the “why” Now that you have a better idea of what is inside your mind you can start to pin the thoughts that bring motivation. When we find the motivation we align with the things that inspire us, inspiration means to be inspired to take action, these thoughts are usually an image or idea of the outcome, identify how the outcome will make you feel when accomplished and ask yourself: Why are you not feeling these emotions now? What can you do to start feeling them? By recognizing the thoughts that bring you a broader view of the future we start to shift to that reality by letting go of old ideas or limitations. Dare to dream big! Beyond time and money, the only limit here is to believe that there is a limit. Prioritize the ideas that motivate you Motivational ideas can be broad or just a sense of the expected outcome, when you start to feel this clarity of what is a possibility, you are shifting your mind, generating new thoughts and ideas, think about your mind as if it was your phone storage, when you have much clutter you are not able to save new things or install new apps, you are limiting the device to what it already knows when you recognize the ideas that motivate you, you can start prioritizing them, select a couple of things that you want to work on, this is your milestones, your guides. Taking action: don’t force, attract Prioritizing our milestones brings inevitable growth and expansion, by having clarity of what these milestones are you are shifting your energy and creating movement, this movement can be seen as new ideas for the outcomes to come to reality and thoughts that go beyond limitations. When we start to act on those milestones and we act based on the desired feeling we want to get, our energy starts to attract situations with the same type of energy, this means that the outcome will be drawn to you instead of you having to chase it. Allow yourself to receive and release expectations Creating expectations means limiting the possibilities, when we shift our energy we become a channel of attraction and limitless possibilities are available for our outcome to come true, don't be tricked by what you can see with your eyes, have the certainty and faith that the reality you want is already there for you and if you don't get something, it’s either for protection or promotion, something better is on the way or you’re being divinely protected. Allow yourself to receive any possibility and flow towards your desired outcome with faith. Enjoy the ride! Joy transcends any negative emotion and can be found anywhere, when we overthink we start to feel overwhelmed and worried, we create outcomes that haven't happened yet and we tend to see the worst ones, when we notice that we are overthinking we can shift our attention into the present moment and can choose to see the joy in what is in front of us, maybe we can find joy in just the fact of being or feeling this human emotion, allow yourself to see all the beauty that is in front of you and tune back into that faith and inner knowing that what you want, what you have seen is coming to life in miracles. When we start to shift our energy into movement and align our feelings to the ones that will bring us growth stagnancy becomes just another period of incubating ideas and observation, we have the choice to see a limited path, getting stuck and lost or observing our mind to find our deepest dreams and desires, when we identify these we can transcend and shift into a reality where we are conscious creators of our outcomes, dare to dream big and follow this steps for an unlimited ride of joy! Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Benjamin! Benjamin Gonzalez, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Benjamin Gonzalez is a self-mastery coach and Mayan Natal chart reader, he helps dreamers understand themselves so they can live their purpose. Benja started his coaching journey in 2022 when he became a certified life coach by Mindvalley as well as a certified breath-work coach to expand his love for helping people. Benja connected to the ancient knowledge of the Mayan natal chart with the objective to expand it to the world, the Mayan Natal chart is a tool for self-discovery to achieve self-mastery and align to the rhythms of the universe. Benja is now working on a masters on metaphysical counselling with a thesis titled the art of life interpretation and sharing his knowledge of the Mayan Natal chart on his website LifeBud.

Written by: Manuj Aggarwal, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Did you ever think robots would take over the world? Will AI be the new Terminator? So is AI going to take over the world as robots do in an Avenger movie? Is the Terminator going to come and destroy the world? Do we need to find an iron man to save us? These are the questions most people ask whenever new technologies are introduced to the world. And time and again, humanity as a species wonders what will happen when new technology becomes mainstream. To answer this question, let us first look at the past. When the printing press was invented, everybody was afraid of what would happen if people started to get new ideas and create freedom for themselves. But now everyone buys newspapers to get new perspectives. Everybody was afraid when the steam engine was introduced. What would happen to all the jobs? Everybody was afraid when the car was introduced. What will happen to all the people involved in the horsecart industry? But now, look at us. A car is one of our most basic needs for transportation. The fact is that humans and technology cannot be seen as separate, just like our offspring are part of us. The technology we create from our intellect and hands is also part of the human evolution story. The key is to recognize that all these technologies are just another step in human evolution. And as these technologies get integrated into our lives, they enhance the quality of our life and enable us to do things more efficiently and effectively. Technology is not our competition but a part of our team. We are living in an amazing time in history when a lot of groundbreaking technologies are coming together at the same time. For example, Most of the technologies that have been invented so far were meant to enable our physical strengths or our ability to enhance our physical strength. The lever helped us to lift heavy stones and kill large animals like the woolly mammoth. Iron dumbbells were introduced to shape our bodies. The wheel enabled us to travel long distances without walking, getting tired, and spending days and days on the road. Imagine spending 2 days to reach your workplace in today’s world, sounds funny right? But with AI, we can enhance our cognitive abilities and think there are so many patterns hidden in nature that our human mind is incapable of comprehending. For example, if we were to predict the weather cycles, there are so many parameters involved that our mind would be overloaded wrapping around the problem that we see. But with AI, we can create models that can find the patterns among 1000s or millions of data points and make these predictions accurately. As accurate as a dart. What this will enable us to do is offload all the difficult thinking and mundane and repetitive tasks to AI while humans will be free to spend their time on more creative and meaningful endeavors. Do you remember the great quote by Abraham Lincoln? “If I only had an hour to chop down a tree, I would spend the first 45 minutes sharpening my axe.” With AI, we’d be able to sharpen our skills and hone our performance. The only question that remains is whether we will be smart enough to adapt. Once again, let's look at history. When the automobile was introduced, everybody who adapted found much better, higher-paid, and more satisfying jobs in the automobile industry. A basic mechanic at Lamborghini is paid around $55,000 yearly! Would a horse cart be able to make that much with the same old-age transportation? So, the key strength that humans have is adaptability. If we adapt, AI is going to create the golden age of abundance, as most of the mundane tasks for production, etc., will be offloaded to AI and automation. The future is quite friendly! Signing off with one of my all-time favorite thoughts, “Robots are not going to replace humans; they are going to make their jobs much more humane. Difficult, demeaning, demanding, dangerous, dull – these jobs robots will take. – Sabine Hauert Follow me on LinkedIn, Twitter, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Manuj! Manuj Aggarwal, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Manuj Aggarwal is one of the global leaders in artificial intelligence with 4 patents in AI. A troubled home and relationship troubles led Manuj to a depressed state. Manuj decided to turn his life around through meditation, spirituality, and understanding how our mind creates our reality. He has since dedicated his life to helping others unleash their true potential. He is the CEO of TetraNoodle Technologies, an elite technology consulting company. TetraNoodle incorporates mindfulness and behavioral science in every technology project. TetraNoodle's clients include hundreds of startups and Fortune 500 companies like Microsoft, IBM, ING Bank, Pearson Education, and more.

Written by: Ann Carden, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. There has never been a better time to be an entrepreneur. Social media has been a game-changer for anyone wanting to build a highly successful business. However, there is a clear path to making social media work. Here are six common mistakes I see coaches and consultants making on social media that are hurting their business. These mistakes are keeping them from getting the right clients and making sales. Additionally, for many, they are wasting time and money trying to get results. What are the six common social media mistakes you might be making that’s costing you, and keeping you from growing your business? Mistake 1 ‒ No clear social media marketing strategy Many are doing what we call “spray and pray.” Just spraying content everywhere and praying it works, also known as “hope marketing.” You must have a clear strategy on social media to get your desired results. Many burn up time, energy, and money, but lack results. When you have a clear strategy, start with the end in mind, and then reverse engineer to determine the right steps to take so you hit your end goal. You must know what you're trying to accomplish in everything that you're doing, and you must put a strategy in place to accomplish it. Everything you post on social media must have a clear purpose of what you are trying to get from it. Without this, you are wasting time. Mistake 2 ‒ Weak positioning in your market Positioning is the outside perception people have of you, your brand, and your business. When your ideal client sees you, they will be attracted or repelled in the first three seconds. If your positioning is on point, the right people will be pulled into your ecosystem wanting to know more. Strong positioning shows you as a credible expert, a thought leader, an influencer, and someone who gets incredible results for your clients. Strong positioning also shows other people promoting you, and elevates you as the obvious choice and an authority in your niche. Strong positioning speeds up the know, like, and trust factor with your ideal people. If you're positioning is weak, you're going to miss out on getting the best clients, more revenue, bigger opportunities, and partnerships. Don't be the best-kept secret (get highly visible) and don’t make growing your business harder because you aren’t positioned as the expert you are. Strengthen your positioning to be seen in the right way, by the right people. Mistake 3 ‒ Not relevant to their market Your message, what you’re about, and what you want to be known for must be relevant to your market. Do you understand your market better than they understand themselves? Does this show in all your marketing to attract and influence your ideal buyers? When a consultant or coach is not getting the right clients, discounting their prices, or not getting enough leads for all their hard work, it’s a relevance and positioning problem and not a problem with the coach or consultant’s work. Often, they believe they deserve more money, and that they should be getting better clients, but what they are saying in their marketing and content and what their ideal clients are seeing is not resonating, so they don’t respond. Unless you understand what your market wants, how they think, and how they buy, you are going to have a hard time being relevant to your market. Also, sharing client results and testimonials that are relevant to your market is powerful content to influence buyers, so don’t keep these a secret or only put them on your website. Mistake 4 ‒ Lack of consistency When you are building your personal brand on social media, you want to create momentum to get results, and this requires consistency. If you want the algorithms to help you get seen by more people, you need to be consistent in your marketing online. Your market needs to see that you are serious about your business and what you do. FYI: If all you did was post content once a day and then repurpose your content across five platforms, by the end of the year that’s 1,820 pieces of content out into the online world providing ways for you to be seen and found. And, of course, by posting more often, you will multiply this number. Mistake 5 ‒ Using the wrong platform Many coaches and consultants are simply on the wrong platform to bring in the clients they desire. High-level CEOs are probably not hanging out in Facebook groups, on TikTok, or Instagram. They're on LinkedIn. You've got to know where your people are and spend your time there. I highly recommend that you do repurpose your content so it shows up everywhere, but you want to be seen and spend the most time where your people are if you want to grow your business and not waste time. Mistake 6 ‒ Posting content that doesn't educate your market If you want to speed up the know, like and trust factor with your market and influence buyers, you must educate your audience and show them the methods you use to help them get the results they want. This is the most powerful content you can post to grow your business. By educating your audience with your brilliance and allowing people to easily see your method to help them get the results they want or need, you will get more people to book on your calendar and make more sales. Often, people will reshare other people’s posts, or quotes, or put little memes up, but there's no real depth in what they are posting. They're not showing how they are good at what they do, their experience, or exactly how they work with their clients. If you do, you’ll stand out and get more traction on social media. Don’t allow your ideal buyers to wonder about how you can help them and what your exact method is. If they can’t easily see that you know what they want and how you can help them get what they want, you will miss out. Social media has changed the game in business. So, leverage it if you want to build a multiple-six to seven-figure or beyond business. Plus, it's an incredible opportunity to be able to market and be seen all over the world. If you want my help to stand out in your market and grow your business Consulting and Coaching business to $300k-$1M with a winning social media strategy, you can book a call here! You can also check out my free masterclass! Follow me on Facebook, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Ann! Ann Carden, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Ann Carden is a top business growth consultant for professional coaches and consultants who want to build and grow a 6 & 7-figure business with High-End Clients and Programs with More Freedom. After building and selling five previous businesses, Ann wanted to help others have business success and change lives. However, her journey in the coaching industry was expensive and exhausting trying to build her business. As she invested in numerous programs, mentors, and coaching organizations, she found many of them lacked customization and were too focused on volume. This is when Ann took a step back and created her Expert In You Method, that uses powerful high-success strategies to accelerate financial success

Nicki is a women’s empowerment coach and the owner of Sunflowers In Sunshowers, a company that focuses on helping women flourish through holistic and transformational life coaching. She is passionate about the work she is doing to help women love themselves wholly and live their life more fully. After experiencing a “quarter life crisis”—she struggled with her identity, life direction and overall life satisfaction—this was her awakening. She began a healing journey of self-discovery and uncovering which led to dismantle her pre-conceived beliefs and re-define not only herself but her vision of “the good life”. This journey eventually led her to realize her calling as a life coach and pursue a certification as a life and health coach. Her mission is to help women heal from their past conditioning and misunderstandings so that they can uncover their authentic selves, step into their power and create their vision of “the good life” too. To date, she has had the privilege of helping women all over the world from London, England to Portland Oregon. Nicki Brown, Women's Empowerment Coach Introduce yourself! Please tell us about you and your life, so we can get to know you better. I’m Nicki, I’m an achiever, recovering people pleaser and highly sensitive person, wife, and mom of two. I’m also a Holistic and Transformational Life Coach for women. It’s probably no surprise I’m a lover of sunflowers and nature. I’m into all things that some people might consider “woo” — astrology, crystals, oracle reading. I’m an extroverted introvert, I love people but deeply need and value time to myself. I’m dedicated to growth and I’m an avid learner and lover of life and travel, who’s keen to experience everything life has to offer. I’m always happy for recommendations on new books or experiences, and I’m always game to try new foods. What is your business name and how do you help your clients? Sunflowers In Sunshowers offers Life Coaching to Women who have gotten to the point in their life where they feel like something needs to change, or they’re in a transitionary period in life and they're feeling lost, stuck, dissatisfied, overwhelmed, stressed out, burnt out and/or disconnected from themselves and their life. I like to say what I actually do is help women create the freedom to flourish—I help them live their vision of the good life, one that feels aligned, authentic, connected, passionate and deeply fulfilling. When you set out on a journey of self-discovery or to create your vision of the good life, you’ve embarked on a lifelong journey. I’m here to support my clients in getting crystal clear on what that vision and desire looks like for them, and to unapologetically claim that for themselves. I’m here to assist them in cultivating presence, awareness and other tools and resources to support them on that journey. I’m here to create a safe and supportive space for them to explore their thoughts, feeling, beliefs, past and patterns without fear, shame or judgment. I’m here to ask them insightful questions that pull out their own deeper knowledge and help them develop trust in their intuition. I’m also here to hold up a mirror…to help them see themselves more clearly—as capable and empowered, and whole and worthy. I tell all my clients, I’m not the expert, you are— I can give you the tools, guide you, support you, and encourage you but ultimately you are the only person who can possibly be the expert of you. Tell us about a pivotal moment in your life that brought you to where you are today. I think the pivotal moment for me was really this sense of having a quarter-life crisis. It was like I woke up one day with this feeling of…how did I get here? I felt a bit like I’d been sleepwalking through my life on auto-pilot and I had this overall sense of disconnection from myself and from my life and also in some sense, dissatisfaction. I had this realization that I had done all the things I was “supposed” to do, I had a good job, I bought a house, I got married, and I had a child but nothing felt the way I thought it should. It wasn’t what I had imagined for myself. I was living with this sense of feeling constantly overwhelmed and underwhelmed all at once. I knew that something had to change because I was starting to feel like I didn’t really recognize myself. I felt deep down that there was something missing in my life, something more I wanted or needed to make my life feel complete. I started on this bit of a personal development journey and at first I was convinced that it was my job that was making me miserable because it’s not what I had imagined doing. I had taken International Development in school and had dreamed of working for the UN or working with Non-profits—my heart had always known that I wanted to do something where I felt like I was making a difference. In my early 20s I signed up for an internship in a rural and remote part of Kenya and soon after arriving, I found myself in a position I wasn’t prepared for, so I came home early and in need of a job I fell backward into a job in the tech space as sort of a stop-gap thinking I’d take some time to figure out my next move and then get back into the non-profit space, but I never did. So I began job hunting, and I interviewed with a great tech company that worked in education and I thought maybe I could marry my skills with something a little closer to my heart. The job was for a sales manager position that would be in charge of coaching an inside sales team, they were looking for someone with strong coaching skills and while I didn’t have the experience I was a natural. I flew through the process, they offered me the job, sent through the offer paperwork and they were so sure I was going to take it that they sent me a congratulatory gift—it arrived before I even got home that night. But I got scared. I didn’t think I was capable. It was so far out of my comfort zone and I started questioning whether I had what it took to manage people and whether I would fail. Ultimately I couldn’t leave my safe and secure job. Ironically, that book was called mindset by Carol Dweck. After reading that book I realized that my mindset ‒ all my conditioned beliefs about myself was one of the biggest things that kept me from taking that job. Shortly after reading that book and diving deeper into my own personal development, I came across the concept of life coaching—I couldn’t believe I had never heard of it. It seemed to be like I was made to be a coach—so I did some research, got certified and the rest is history. What are your current goals for your business? My goal for my business is actually quite humble, I realized that when I released all the pressure for myself and my business to do and achieve certain things, I found a deeper level of freedom and satisfaction in my work, so my goals for my business are quite humble, they’re for me to continue to invest in myself and my business—I just want to continue to lead by example and do my own work, so that I can pour more of that into my business, always seeking to optimize to better serve my clients, and then deeply serve as many women as possible. I’ve recognized a need to meet people where they are and so I’m working on diversifying my offers and innovating them in such a way that I can still give the most value but at any price point because I never want cost to be something that prevents people from getting the support they need. And finally, I desire to continue to serve women internationally, and my hope is for my work to make a lasting global impact but I’ve released an attachment to what I think that should look like, because I know in my heart that by doing the work I do, that for every 1 person I serve, there is a ripple effect of that change, by helping even one person heal and be their best, we’re helping the world as a whole inch closer to that same goal. What would you like to achieve for yourself and your business in the future? As an achiever, this may shock you, but what I’d like to achieve for myself and my business in the future is presence, trust and acceptance. What do I mean by that? By presence I mean, allowing myself and my business to be exactly where they are right now, to be more focused on what I can do today than what things might look like in the future, and not allowing what happened in the past to bring up fear and patterns that impact my present behaviour and decisions. By acceptance, I mean letting go of any shame or disappointment around mistakes and what I did or did not do, and what I have or have not achieved. I mean fully loving and accepting myself and my business exactly as we are right now, without agenda or pressure or expectation. Letting go of the need for myself or my business to be anything other than what it is. And then by the trust I mean trusting myself and my intuition, both personally and professionally. I’ve had a tendency to doubt my decisions and agonize over whether they would create the results I want but going back to presence and acceptance, if I release those pressures and expectations then I’m better able to trust because I know that I can be with and love myself and my business no matter the outcome. We’re both growing and changing all the time so there will be fears and pain and failure and losses and I can trust life…that even when things aren’t okay, they will be eventually and trust that we are resilient and we can overcome anything. So these are my goals, they’re what I’ve been working on in both my life and my business for the past year and the truth is that that kind of work is never done, it’s a continual effort to maintain that, and so I try to consciously keep them as goals. Who inspires you to be the best that you can be? I wouldn’t say there is any one person, but rather many. Of course, my kids inspire me, as well as my clients and the people around me because I know that I’m leading by example and I want to show them what’s possible. I also want to be able to be there for them and help them with whatever they’re going through and ultimately help them be their best and that requires me to be at mine too because I’m not able to do that as well if I’m not. What is your work inspired by? My work is inspired by all the teachers and masters that came before me and whom I’ve had the pleasure of learning from whether through their programs, or through their books and works that they’ve put out into the world. I’m also inspired by the potential of the coaching industry as a whole because I’m also inspired by a vision I’m long held for a better world and I think coaching has the power to do this. Coaching can help you heal intergenerational trauma, and learn how to be a better spouse and a better parent to your children and so on…it can also encourage people to chase their dreams, and fulfill their purpose. I deeply believe in the power of coaching on so many levels. However, it’s our duty to be in integrity and to be the kind of leaders who embody the work, who, as I’ve said before, lead by example so that we show the next person and they show the next people and so on. I think we often forget about the power of one—of the individual. The more a person heals themselves, the more they work to rewire and decondition their beliefs, the more they develop awareness, presence, compassion and understanding, the better they become at managing their stress, feeling their emotions, opening their hearts and regulating their nervous system, the better they feel in themselves and the better they are to the people and the world around them. And the better role model they are for younger generations. The more each of us embodies the work and embodies the changes in ourselves the better our future will be. If you could change one thing about your industry, what would it be and why? I think if I could change one thing about the coaching industry then it would be the ethics in marketing. I think a lot of coaches, “experts” and especially the business gurus and the ones who have really “made it” will market and sell their programs and services selling growth and personal and professional development like it’s “fast”, “simple” and “easy” —the 5 step process, the blueprint for, the silver bullet solution…even my first coaching program had a marketing element to it and that’s how they told me to sell my services because that’s what sells. They tell you to sell people what they want and give them what they need, and sure it works, that’s how it’s been done for years but a lot of people enter into these dynamics which false expectations and when they struggle or find that things are rarely so fast, simple or easy they wind up thinking it’s their fault, and something is wrong with them and I hate that because it leaves them disillusioned believing that what they want is simply not meant for or not attainable for them. It does work for some people but they are the exception, they might just happen to have that perfect combination of things working in their favour: the right circumstances, the right foundation, the right motivation, the right support, a deep level of commitment and a sprinkle of “luck”. Most people don’t have all that working in their favour, and or they might be getting support in a certain area but they don’t realize that it’s a symptom of a much larger pattern or problem. What I’m saying is that for most people, things are much more complex, every aspect of our lives is deeply interrelated so there are layers to pull back and work through. There’s also level of commitment that is involved and you need to do the work to get the results but one size fits all and quick band-aid fixes do little to address the root of the problem, which is what most people need to really achieve results and make lasting and sustainable changes. Nobody wants to hear it takes time or hard work. That’s not sexy or desirable. When people are in pain, or they’re struggling or they’re going after something they really want—they want help fast. They want quick fixes. They want tall tales of how achieving x, y and z is as simple and fast as 1,2 3 and they want to hear that someone has shortcuts and secrets and fast tracks and if you can pay for it, you’ll get the results and that’s what gets them in the door. That’s not what I’m offering. Don’t get me wrong, we can help you get some quick wins but those are just small pieces of a larger puzzle and a longer-term commitment. So I think there needs to be more honesty and transparency in how personal development and coaching services are marketed and I think we need to work towards realigning expectations of what is possible. And I believe my business struggled for so long because I refused to buy into the idea that this was the way I had to sell my services, it didn’t feel right to me, it didn’t feel in integrity, but I finally found a model that showed me there was another way, that it was possible to take a more soulful and heart centred and approach to marketing, and I’m so grateful for that. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Nicki!

Written by: Karen Peddie, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. It is a fact that Christmas can be a very emotional time of year. Feelings of overwhelm, panic, stress, fear, hate, anger, jealousy, anxiety, depression, apprehension, frustration and many other negative emotions start bubbling up There is sadness when we think about family members and friends no longer with us. We worry about how we can afford everything or if we have forgotten something or, even worse, someone! We stress, we fear we are not good enough and we panic about getting the perfect gifts. Does everything have to be perfect? No, It doesn’t!! Here are some simple tips for a calm Christmas that I'm sure will help you. 1. Remember those who have passed and be grateful for the people in your life now. Don’t try and ignore the feeling of loss that you have, talk to others, the chances are they feel it too. Write a list of everything you are grateful for, no matter how insignificant you may think it is, it all counts. 2. Make the most of your strong friendships, tell them how you are feeling so they can support you. If you don’t tell them how you are feeling, they probably won’t be able to guess! You don’t even need to see them if you don’t want to, you could just call them, text them or send them a message. 3. Make some time for yourself, sit quietly, take some long, slow, deep breaths and clear your mind. Book a Reiki session or try meditation. 4. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. 5. Try not to get into debt by buying things you know you don’t really need. 6. Do your own thing. It can be hard, but if you feel you want to do something different… just do it. Keep your plans flexible and give yourself permission to change your mind. I offer to drive so I can leave when I want to, and I find that works for me! 7. Volunteer. There are more places than ever before opening on Christmas Day to support people who would be alone and not just the elderly, homeless centers are open too. 8. Look after yourself and be aware of overindulging in food or alcohol. Why not take a break by going for a walk and getting some fresh air? 9. Accept how you feel, you don’t need to justify it to anyone else but yourself. And finally...Remember, it is just one day. There are some positive quotes you might like over on my Facebook page. I hope you get a chance to read some of them and that you find some inspiration from them, I have! Focus on positive things that are going on in your life and it will be Boxing Day before you can say mince pies! Useful contact numbers NHS 111 Samaritans 116 123 (UK) Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Karen! Karen Peddie, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Karen is a natural, intuitive Energy Healer who uses Reiki, Emotional Freedom Techniques, and Meditation to help her clients improve their health and well-being. She works with them to identify and heal the root cause of any dis-ease which could be blocking the flow of energy either physically, mentally, or emotionally. As someone who suffered from anxiety, stress, and depression for many years, Karen's experience makes her a genuine, empathetic therapist who creates a safe, calm space in which to start the healing process

Written by: Victor Mosconi, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Make imposter syndrome your superpower! Having people underestimate you is a strength! Fooling others is your magical power! Being a perfectionist sets you apart from others! These are just a few of the statements and article headlines regarding how imposter syndrome can actually be good for you! That’s right, the anxiety, stress, depression, fear of failure, fear of success, worry you’ll never be good enough and never be accepted for who you are, that imposter syndrome is actually good for you! No, that doesn’t sound right, does it? Imposter syndrome, also known as the impostor phenomenon is a complex construct that reflects the struggle to appreciate yourself and know your self-worth. It is the inability to recognize internalized successes and achievements, and constantly fearing you’re a fraud for not being good enough in what you do and who you are. At the same time, it is the need to constantly seek outside sources and people for acceptance and approval. Recent research and articles have discussed how experiencing imposter syndrome can actually be a benefit and a strength. They state people experiencing this phenomenon can have higher interpersonal skills and empathy. Their ability to communicate is at a higher level and they are more skilled in building relationships. And their quality of work is higher due to their perfectionism. Studies One recent study presented an argument on how there is no empirical quantitative evidence that imposter thoughts degrade performance. This is true. However, the issue isn’t about performance but about the effects on well-being. There are plenty of studies with empirical findings on the detrimental effects of perfectionism and fear of not being good enough on the well-being of those experiencing imposter syndrome. Those that are promoting the singular focus of the benefits of imposter syndrome by talking about it as your superpower are diminishing the negative side so you only see the positives. But this perspective does nothing to help you reduce your imposter syndrome. It does nothing to help you grow your own supportive self-belief and learn how to appreciate yourself and embrace your authentic self. Myths such as these perpetuate a false narrative of the experience of imposter syndrome. 5 Myths Myth 1 ‒ Imposter syndrome is about pretending to be someone you’re not. Nope, that’s impersonation. When you are experiencing imposter syndrome, you are fighting every day to be better and hoping what you do is good enough. You feel like you’re a fraud or a fake, not because you’re trying to pretend you’re someone else, but because you don’t have the self-belief and feel that what others see and say of you is not true. Those experiencing imposter syndrome aren’t purposely trying to pretend to be someone else for status. They’re hoping no one will see their true self just so they can survive the day. Hence the imposter feeling. Myth 2 ‒ Imposter syndrome makes you more productive No. You yourself are productive. Your imposter thoughts create stress and anxiety where you overwork and feel the need to have to do everything to show your worth. But it does not make you more productive. Just more worn out and stressed. Your own skills, abilities and care for your work help you to be more productive. Myth 3 ‒ Being a perfectionist due to imposter syndrome helps you create higher quality. Nope. Your perfectionist needs create a mindset of never being satisfied with your work, and in turn, can also create restrictive perceptions of what you can develop due to fear of failure. Because you’re worried your work is never good enough which means you are never good enough, you continue to work, pushing yourself further, leading you to more anxiety and disappointment in your own work and self. You can care about your work, and can still produce high quality without the need for perfectionism and imposter syndrome. Myth 4 ‒ Experiencing these imposter thoughts will make you more adept at relationships Okay, sure. But do you know why you’re more adept at relationships? Because you’re often more empathic due to past experiences of never being heard or accepted. You are literally stressed out about making others upset or displeased with you, so you have learned how to not create conflict. You talk and interact in a way that is supportive and caring toward the other person and can tap into their stressors at the expense of your own well-being. So yes, you have excellent people skills. And still are stressed, anxious, and always feel you’re not good enough. Myth 5 ‒ Knowing the positives of imposter syndrome will help you to be okay with your experiences Never! Just because some people perceive a positive, they are not the ones experiencing the imposter thoughts and feelings. Even if you believe them to be positives, you still do not see the positives in yourself and struggle to accept the positives of who you are and what you do. You will continue to lack a supportive self-belief, and self-appreciation so any perceived positives mean nothing. Discussions like those, reflecting on only what is seen as perceived benefits, completely dismiss the negative and detrimental effects imposter syndrome has on you. Toxic positivity Seeing only the positives and dismissing the negatives only diminishes and devalues the experiences you go through. It will lead to abuse and manipulation by managers and leaders in focusing on how to get the most productivity out of you over caring about your well-being. The focus on quantity over quality will only end up hurting and causing emotional and psychological damage to people experiencing high levels of imposter syndrome. When people push the positive outcomes over the negative effects or interaction, it creates a toxic mindset and interaction where you dismiss the negative effects and true impact it’s having on you. Real Experiences When experiencing imposter syndrome, many are working to perfection, because they fear their “good” isn’t good enough. And any mistakes, “less thans”, “could be better”, don’t leave room for improvement or growth, but the crushing defeat of not just their work, but of who they are personally. Which can be a devastating experience for them. You don’t have to be a perfectionist or push someone to their breaking point to achieve quality. Building someone’s self-appreciation and growth within themselves won’t diminish their quality of work. It will, however, help to create longevity in their productivity, their innovation, and their ability to develop new interactions and growth for your business, while at the same time, they embrace their value, and worth in acceptance of who they are. Your empathy and interpersonal skills won’t disappear when you’ve learned to overcome your imposter thoughts. At the same time, you don’t need to experience imposter syndrome to be empathetic. You can build up your empathy and compassion with the right support system and compassion from others. Imposter syndrome isn’t just about fear, lack of self-doubt, or perfectionism. This is a complex construct that impacts people on many levels and where those three aspects are true, they are not singled out. They are intertwined with a low self-belief and a need for outside approval. To dismiss any aspect to solely focus on a singular outcome, is a detriment to the person experiencing this phenomenon and will only bring about their burnout, growth in feelings of not being worthy, not good enough, and damage to their self-worth. Refocus The redirection of your focus to the happy side of things and all the positives will last a short period until all the negatives you’ve pushed down have built up enough to weigh you down again. You don’t need to focus on the negatives, but you need to acknowledge they are there and know steps to take to help build your self-belief and reduce their negative effects on you. You don’t need imposter syndrome to do your best work. You don’t need imposter syndrome to have great interpersonal skills, or to be empathetic toward others. You can do all of those by developing a growth mindset and striving to do better, learn more and grow in appreciation of who you are each day. Help Yourself and Help Your Employees Don’t compare your own life, accomplishments, or experiences to other people’s. Focus on your own journey. Leaders: When talking to your employee/staff or team member, keep the focus on their accomplishments and experiences. You can connect them with other employees in demonstrating how they are experiencing similar struggles or steps in development but never compare. Keep the focus on the individual. Recognize your own skills and abilities. Write a list of what you do well, and build on that list each day. Leaders: Don’t tell employees what they are doing well, ask them to share with you all they have done and help them to see their own skills and abilities. Reflect on your own work and accomplishments. Write down your accomplishments and success and what skills, abilities, and knowledge you’ve learned and helped you grow. Leaders: Ask what skills did your employees apply and develop in pursuit of their accomplishment? What growth did they have, and how it helped them succeed? Failure is an opportunity to learn. Look at the situation for what it was and what you did well, and where you could grow or apply to future opportunities. Leaders: Don’t focus on the negative of the mistakes or failures, but on the learning opportunities and have your employee develop steps they can take for future opportunities. Help to develop a growth mindset by believing that your talents, skills, and knowledge can help you grow and develop due to your effort. Leaders: See employees as being full of potential and with the ability to constantly learn, and develop not just in their skills and knowledge but in their self-belief and character. Use that mindset to encourage them to grow. Your Superpower is Your Supportive Self-belief When you hear or read how you have a superpower hidden in your challenging experiences, such as imposter syndrome, be mindful of the focus. Is their focus on the outcome and dismissing all you have experienced? If so, focus on what you know to be true and your qualities, and don’t believe the toxic positivity. To help yourself break down your imposter syndrome thoughts and experiences, learn to build your self-belief and appreciate your true qualities. The positives that come from your growth will be the belief in yourself and acknowledging your own talents. At the same time, you’ll still be able to maintain the quality of your work and skills of being empathetic and utilizing your interpersonal skills. You just won’t be experiencing the anxiety, stress, depression, fear of failure, and worry you’ll never be good enough, because you are now accepting of who you are and getting so much more out of your own experiences, life, and journey. Follow me on Instagram, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Victor! Victor Mosconi, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Victor Mosconi, is a Ph.D. Candidate in Psychology, with a Master’s in Psychology of Leadership Development and Coaching, a Master’s in Industrial/Organizational Psychology, and the founder of Imposter Solution Coach. Through his life-long experience with imposter syndrome, his psychology background, and coaching skills, Victor specializes in supporting up-and-coming women leaders and entrepreneurs in overcoming their self-doubt and imposter thoughts to develop a mindset of self-appreciation and strong self-belief. Take his quiz on his website and discover what level of impostor syndrome you experience.

Written by: Rebecca Helps , Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. There are many ways we self-sabotage. Essentially anytime we are acting from the ego, we are self-sabotaging. When operating from the ego, we act out of fear. We are trying to avoid some outcome, situation, or event. Unfortunately, when acting from a place of fear, we create the outcome we were trying to avoid. In relationships, we usually want to avoid the person leaving us, getting mad at us, taking a dislike of us or thinking we are not competent. To prevent these outcomes, we behave in ways that we believe will be beneficial. We can see how we harm ourselves by taking a step back and looking at a situation differently. For a more in-depth take on self-sabotage, check out Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior by Mark Goulston and Philip Goldberg. Avoiding Conflict Don't rock the boat. Just bit your tongue. It's not worth saying anything. We tell ourselves these things to avoid conflict. We will often deny that there is a problem or any reason to be upset. We will believe that a fight will be avoided by not saying anything. Preventing a conflict avoids hurting another person's feelings. Assuming it is better for the relationship if we don't tell people we are upset and we don't make them upset by telling them what is upsetting us. That's a lot of upset! The problem with avoiding conflict is that when you are part of a long-term relationship (with a partner, family, friends, or co-workers), you can only stuff down and deny your feelings for so long. No one is a bottomless pit. Meaning people will run out of space to contain all of their upsets and frustrations. My mom used to tell me that if I was upset to put it in a suitcase and store it in the back of my head (aka the attic). I used to imagine my attic overflowing and suitcases flowing down the stairs and filling up every inch of the house until I was trapped and unable to move. When we run out of room, we often explode with anger. A big fight ensues. And that fight is usually over something small and insignificant, which leaves the other person confused and wondering what the big deal is. They are further baffled because it seems like our personality has changed. They think, "she was always so calm and patient. I wonder what has gotten into her." Ultimately by avoiding conflict, we end up in a dispute anyways. By addressing small hurts as they come up and letting people know when we are upset, we can resolve issues when they happen. Being Sneaky We self-sabotage when we find indirect ways to communicate. In other words, we are passive-aggressive. We are upset with someone, but instead of dealing with the issue directly, we focus on frustrating the other person. On some level, we believe that if the person experiences how frustrated and upset we are, they will stop doing whatever they are doing that is frustrating us. Or at least we won't be the only person that is upset. By being passive-aggressive, we can avoid being the one who initiates conflict. One of the main problems with passive-aggressive behaviour is that it erodes trust and makes a relationship feel unsafe. A solid and healthy relationship is impossible without trust and a feeling of safety. By being direct and sharing feelings, even feelings of upset and frustration, a relationship grows and becomes healthier and more robust. Putting Our Needs Above Others It is essential to think of our own needs and put them forward in a relationship. That is not a problem. It is a crucial part of a healthy and well-balanced relationship. The problem is putting our needs above others. When a person is aggressive in their behaviour, they are essentially saying what they want and need is more important than what others want or need. They will raise their voice, use threatening language, use physically threatening body language or get physically aggressive by throwing, hitting or breaking things. The purpose is to create an unequal relationship. For a relationship to be healthy, there needs to be a give and take. Sometimes both people's needs are met, and sometimes one person's needs take precedence over the other and then it switches. We drive a wedge into the relationship when we fight to ensure our needs always come first. We chip away at its foundation until nothing is left. If the relationship isn't important, then this isn't self-sabotaging behaviour. However, if the relationship is important, then it is self-sabotage. People will often see their needs as being vital to the relationship. "I need to work these hours to provide for the family," "I need you to not talk to other men/women because it makes me jealous," " I need you to be home more because I don't like it when you are out so much, we don't have couple time." Whatever the reason, trying to solve a problem by aggressively putting your needs over the other person's will only hurt the relationship. The bottom line is that when we use direct and assertive communication where we share our feelings directly, using 'I' statements, we create strong and healthy relationships. When we don't do this, we harm our relationships and ultimately cause our worst-case scenarios to manifest. So, next time you feel something, say something. Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Rebecca! Rebecca Helps, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Rebecca Helps grew up thinking she was fundamentally flawed and believed people didn't like or want her around. This left her alone, exhausted, anxious, depressed and afraid. Rebecca's anxieties and fears impacted both her personal and professional life. She knew she needed to do something to get her life back on track. Rebecca took action, signing up for a personal growth course, which was also the start of a 3-year counsellor training program. As a Registered Therapeutic Counsellor, Rebecca uses her counselling skills to help individuals and organizations heal, grow, and be the best version of themselves. Rebecca believes that because we spend most of our day at work, it is essential to foster mental health by bringing psychotherapy directly into our places of work.

Jennifer Knight, Deputy Police Chief in Columbus, Ohio, is known for dynamic leadership, innovative community engagement, and excellence in the field of law enforcement. After earning a bachelor’s degree in Public Administration, Ms. Knight worked full-time while attending law school at Capital University. Upon graduation, she obtained her Juris Doctor and was granted the National Women’s Law Association Award of Excellence. Promoting quality leadership and communication in the field of law enforcement, Ms. Knight is a strong advocate for women within the profession. She is passionate about community engagement and has implemented several innovative projects designed to connect the agency with local citizens. She also participates in community events such as Shop With a Cop, Books and Badges, fundraising running events, and community Thanksgiving food donations. Ms. Knight is passionate and active in human trafficking prevention and supports nonprofits that assist trafficking victims. Her efforts include developing educational materials, writing legislation, and scaling a 38-story building to raise money for GraceHaven, a local non-profit providing shelter, and support services for human trafficking survivors. In her free time, Ms. Knight trains for the more than thirty road races, from 5Ks to marathons, that she runs annually. She spends weekends with her husband and family and is an avid Ohio State football fan. What inspired you to become a police officer? That's a very interesting story. I had never previously considered law enforcement as a career. I didn't have an opportunity to pursue a college degree after graduation, and instead entered the workforce with very few marketable skills or career goals. While I entered the workforce with a strong work ethic, I had no clear direction and I began a search for purpose and opportunities that would align with my strengths. I gravitated towards positions of service, where I had contact with the public, and I avoided those positions that would place me in a cubicle for 30 years. In my 20s I met my husband, Jeff, who was serving in the Army as a Military Police Sergeant. That was my first exposure to any law enforcement profession, but I still never imagined myself assuming that role. I had no contact with traditional law enforcement and had no friends or family, other than my husband, that were police officers. In 1995 our family decided to leave military service, and the search for a new career and life began. My husband looked for a career in his field and when he tested for an entry-level law enforcement position in Columbus, I decided to take the test, on a whim. I began this amazing journey by taking an entry-level test alongside my husband, without a clear idea of what to expect, or where this chance might lead. As luck might have it, and with no experience, I scored slightly higher than Jeff, and I received an Academy appointment date six months later. I entered the police Academy in November 1996, six months before my husband also received an appointment. I still had little understanding of what this position might entail, or even if I would have the requisite skills to be a success. The day before I started the police academy I had serious doubts about this particular career choice. "Did I really want to do this? Will I like the work? Do I have the ability to be successful at this job?" I knew very soon that I had found my calling, and I had stumbled into a profession that I was truly designed for. I welcomed each new challenge, relished the variety and excitement, and was grateful for every opportunity to serve. Law enforcement was, and is, a job in communications. I thrived in an environment where I could engage the public, interact with diverse groups, solve difficult problems, and face new challenges every day. I had somehow found the career that would change my life and provide a solid future for my family. I recognize how blessed I am to have loved my job every single day for 26 years. Why did you decide to pursue a law degree? I decided to pursue a college degree in my 40s as I worked as an officer in patrol on a second shift assignment. As an adult student in my 40s, with a full-time job and a family, I wanted to take advantage of a benefit that covered 100% tuition for sworn employees pursuing an education. One of the motivators was my strong belief in the benefits of continuing education. I believe law enforcement, at every rank, must challenge themselves through continued education and training. Additionally, my children were at an age where I was compelled to lead by example. If I was to truly be an advocate of continued education, I would need to demonstrate this value from a platform of knowing what that meant. I completed my undergraduate work in the evenings and graduated from Capital University with a Bachelor's in Public Administration, a degree that would complement my operational experience as an officer. After graduation, I searched for other opportunities to advance my education. I had always been fascinated with the law, but had not previously considered attending Law school; I was unsure my job and family would accommodate the commitment I envisioned law school would require. With the support of my husband, I decided to take a leap of faith and I was accepted into Capital Law School’s evening program. I spent the next four years attending law school year-round, at night, while working full-time and raising a family. I graduated from law school and passed the bar in 2016. It remains one of the most difficult and memorable things I have accomplished. To this day I miss the experience of being in class, the challenge of the work, and the continued opportunity to expand my base of knowledge. Law school was one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. How does your law degree help you in your role as deputy police chief or even just in law enforcement in general? The study of the law provides you with a different perspective of the system of justice. You would think that a career in law enforcement and a law degree are very closely aligned, but they are often different sides of the same coin. Law enforcement officers are on the front lines of the justice system, but they are operating in a more unpredictable and potentially dangerous environment as they respond to an evolving crisis. Additionally, a police officer may have little or no contact with someone as they progress through a complicated system of justice. Those occupying other roles in the justice system, like attorneys, judges, and advocates, often have less understanding of the challenges that officers face on the front lines of crisis and crime control. I have the unique benefit of having insight into what happens to individuals once we take off the handcuffs. I recognize the importance of each role in the criminal justice process that functions to support the goal of justice in the larger system. I also have gained new insight into how challenging it is for individuals that are arrested, and the struggles many face once they become engaged in the criminal justice system. I think a law degree teaches you to be cognizant of the implications of your actions as a law enforcement officer. It provides an additional depth of understanding of the many ways the frontline of law enforcement intertwines with the larger legal system, and why it's so important that we continue to work with our partners in the legal profession to pursue justice. Lastly, I believe it provides me with a more nuanced understanding of police policy, so I can balance the need for justice, the preservation of rights, and the importance of safety for officers operating on the front lines. The law gives you reverence for the rights of others and respect for those that stand in the gap during a crisis. What is it like having family in line work in law enforcement? When I entered the law enforcement profession, I was the first person in my family to obtain a position on a police department. My husband followed after about six months. Interestingly enough, we worked together, and sometimes in the same car, for several years before we pursued different positions within the agency. He was the best partner I had as a patrol officer because we anticipated the other’s reactions so effectively. While many of our peers marveled at how anyone could work with their spouse, we were effective because we both respected the other person’s abilities. Additionally, the ability to share such a significant part of our life brought us closer. While many law enforcement professionals attempt to shield their families from the dangerous and sometimes tragic incidents in policing, we were able to share these experiences daily. I am proud to say my sister, brother-in-law and several others are now part of my law enforcement family. There is never a shortage of stories or conversations related to policing. Law enforcement is one of those professions where families become part of the culture and children often follow in their parent's footsteps. Law enforcement professionals often love the job so much that they encourage their children to pursue a similar path. It becomes a profession that binds the entire family and it is exciting to be able to share that passion with your family.

Written by: Paul Corke, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. When we make new changes in our lives, if we don’t see tangible results at the beginning, we tend to stop and, for most, give in… For example, when learning guitar for the first time, a new language, learning to ride a bike, or even swimming are great examples of when we may have given up too soon. “Don't quit. Never give up trying to build the world you can see, even if others can't see it. Listen to your drum and your drum only. It's the one that makes the sweetest sound.” ‒ Simon Sinek Plateau of latent potential Take the guitar, most people would love to play an instrument, but there are so many people I know who have said they wanted to play guitar but gave up because they never got the instant results they wanted, it was too hard, they never had time, their fingers hurt but because the reward was not instant, they gave up. We have all done it at some stage in our life. But then there are people who continue learning to play guitar and still, over a longer period of time, do not see an improvement in results, so they give up too soon even though they were more persistent. Part of the reason for this is that their results completely plateau, so they don’t see a change in performance over a long period of time. The Plateau of Latent Potential is the lag time between what you think should happen and what actually happens. Break through the plateau In order to make a difference, new habits need to persist long enough to break through this plateau. We have to keep going… But if we want to be successful in our lives, we need to keep moving forward with small steps that add up over time to make big changes happen. If you think about those who start a diet but don’t keep going because they don’t get results or their results plateau as another example. But if you take consistent steps to diet and fitness, you can make life-changing differences in how you look and feel. What we see in the diagram above is many people give up in the valley of disappointment. Because when learning something new that learning plateaus and then we get what we expect, but the trick is not to get disillusioned and keep going. To also believe in cause and effect, what you sow so you will reap. We just don’t always see the effects straight away. Believe small steps will add up to make a big difference with great habits. And don’t give up… Because if you keep going, you will, at some stage, see the trajectory in results go right up. How close may you have been before, but you have given up? As the saying goes, “Rome wasn’t built in a day.” Neither are good habits or systems that lead to success and achievement. So, ask yourself the following questions: What can I start and with persistence overtime will make a big difference to my life? What have you started, given up but could now go back to? What have you wanted to learn but have thought it is too late now? “When you finally break through the Plateau of Latent Potential, people will call it an overnight success. The outside world only sees the most dramatic event rather than all that preceded it. But you know that it’s the work you did long ago—when it seemed that you weren’t making any progress—that makes the jump today possible.” – James Clear Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Paul! Paul Corke, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Paul Corke is an author, a keynote speaker, and considered to be a leading expert on mindset, innovation, and leadership. He is currently recognized as the No. 1 Health and Wellness Thought Leader & Influencer with @Thinkers360 and is also the Managing Director of Leadership Innovators an innovative leadership consultancy. He previously spent 25 years in the corporate world with award-winning results specializing in organizational effectiveness, employee engagement, talent management, and leadership development with experience in the UK, Ireland, Europe, the US, and the Middle East. Paul is the author of Reframe Your Mindset: Redefine Your Success, has a podcast series to support the book and has created The Mindset Journal all based on what he calls ‘The Mindset Equation for Success.’ Paul uses his research into the mindset and positive psychology along with the thinking from his books to provide thought leadership, leadership model design, leadership assessment, and solutions to help organizations build their leadership capability. Paul has successfully built a leadership development strategy and provided solutions in the industries of Financial Services, Retail, Automobile, Charity, Information Technology, Education, and Local Government. His mission is to develop leaders the world now wants to see whilst also making a difference through B1G1working towards the UN Global Goals to help those in need across the world.

Written by: Marguerite Thibodeaux, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Being an effective leader in the 21st century requires more than technical knowledge and executive presence. It also requires courage and compassion. Leaders are having to navigate more and more complex, delicate issues in the workplace like well-being, politics, and antiracism. Leaders no longer have the luxury of saying, “That’s a personal problem; let’s get back to work,” or “The company needs you to work this weekend,” without repercussions. Research has shown that treating employees like numbers breeds a tit-for-tat working relationship and undermines loyalty and retention, costing US organizations $550 billion a year according to Gallup estimations. On the other hand, compassion cultivates trust and loyalty, which in turn increases productivity and retention. Shifting from punishment to compassion is no small change and takes concerted effort and courage to implement, both courage in deviating from old leadership styles that many senior leaders still subscribe to and in delivering difficult messages and holding colleagues accountable. What does it mean to lead with courage? Leaning into courage in three main areas will help you reap the benefits of leading with courage. Courage to speak the truth Leading with courage means saying the true but unpopular thing. Providehard feedback. Pushback on unrealistic expectations. Ask the tough questions. Often, leaders use this as an excuse to be rude. Instead, aim for the sweet spot: focus on the intent of the conversation, and meet your audience where they are without sacrificing clarity for being liked. Provide facts with purposeful transparency. You can be courageous and bold without being rude and condescending. Courage to ask for help Contrary to popular belief, asking for help is actually a sign of courage. It takes self-awareness and vulnerability to admit when you need help. It earns your team’s trust by showing them that you prioritize the team’s success over your own appearance of perfection. Delegating also shows you trust them; you don’t feel like you have to lift the heavy load on your own. You are empowering your team. And when you empower them, you will be confident that even if you’re on vacation or a leave, you can still rely on them to hold down the fort while you are out. Courage to celebrate wins Leading with courage also means intentionally creating space to celebrate wins. When your teammates see that their efforts and milestones are recognized, good things happen. Making people feel safe and valued can result in increased motivation, psychological safety, retention, and more. What does it mean to lead with compassion? Effective leaders invest in people and genuine relationships. It’s quite hard to deliver feedback and correct behavior if you have not established a positive relationship first. Compassion means letting people know you see them as human. Let’s start with feedback. Show care by giving empowering feedback that doesn’t blame, shame, and condescend. Compassionate feedback focuses on the facts and assumes your teammate had a reason for doing what they did; compassionate leaders are open and curious about how their teammate can improve in the future. Compassion also means letting other people see you as a human. Show your teammates that the leader they see at work is also a person with a home and loved ones. Show the same kindness to your teammates that you would show a friend. This is how you earn their trust that when you have to correct them or give hard feedback, they would know not to take it personally. Compassion means creating a safe space at work for your teammates. Compassion also means creating a safe space to hold difficult conversations. This means allowing your teammates to express themselves without the fear of their words being used against them. Sometimes a major political decision or world event is weighing on your team’s minds. Giving them a few minutes in a team meeting to respectfully get things off their chest can allow them the space to process and feel heard in a way that allows them to get back to work. Leading with courage and compassion takes an investment of time and energy and reaps real rewards. Both you and your teammates reap great benefitswhen you invest in bravely doing the right thing and showing people they are valued. Want the benefits of leading with courage and compassion but don’t know where to start? Book a complimentary consultation. I’d be happy to help get you started. Every leader deserves support. Follow her on LinkedIn for leadership tips and discussions. Check out her website for free leadership resources like a Professional Development Roadmapping Worksheet and Attrition Risk Management Matrix. Want one-on-one help adapting these strategies to your team? Book a complimentary call with Marguerite. Every leader deserves support. Follow me on LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Marguerite! Marguerite Thibodeaux, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Marguerite Thibodeaux, an leadership coach and talent management consultant, helps leaders and organizations bring the best out of people with courage, compassion, and clarity. After building development programs and leading a talent transformation at a Fortune 100, she became increasingly aware that not all leaders had access to a Fortune 100 Learning & Development team. To do something about that, she started Magnanimous Leadership, a leadership coaching and consulting firm that's on a mission to make resources and support available to every leader.