Written by: Michelle Sherbun, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Change is a funny thing. It’s full of ups and downs, the ins and outs, and sorting through all the possibilities. Often, we get more than we bargained for when we enter transition – our journey of change. And if part of that transition is to do some reflection and self-care, the changes can be surprising! Finding ourselves means we must have the courage to lose a part of ourselves. In times of change, we reinvent. We discover. We clarify. What would it feel like to be the absolute best of you? A funny thing may happen on your way to change. You may find a new and better you! Purpose: Purpose is at the core of our passions. Purpose drives our desire to BE our personal best at all times. It is in our purpose we know the most straightforward act of doing gives our life deep meaning. Our purpose anchors our values - the innermost values that guide all we do and say in our lives. They live in our heads and our hearts. Our values give purpose and authenticity, whether as an individual or an organization. They provide constancy. We make decisions with integrity, and solutions thrive in us and the cultures we create for our employees. What values guide your decisions and your actions? It takes courage to live our purpose. It takes patience, openness, and a willingness to be vulnerable – especially in times of change. And it requires a lifetime commitment to learning. That means we don't have all the answers. Maybe we have more questions. What questions are you asking? Which ones are you avoiding? Balance: How often do we hear ourselves or colleagues say they want a little balance in their lives? Exercise, quiet time to think, maybe some spiritual renewal, social time with friends, and a sense of humor! As a friend once shared, "the great fullness of life is not found on a single track." So, align your purpose with the balance you need in your life ‒ in what you do, whom you choose to be with, and who you authentically get to be. Mindset: Mindset is the path to contentment. Changing our mindset from something fixed in fear or confusion to one of personal and professional growth allows us to reframe how we work, play, learn and lead. The Neuroleadership Institute research shows that reframing our mindset “can enable preparation for a wide array of stressors that may hinder our improvement, including completely new or unpredicted situations — like the ever-changing work-life pandemic-related experience.” For many of us, transitions can bring a monumental shift. Know that this shift can also bring clarity and resilience. It can also help us embrace the challenges we face as opportunities for growth. In future blogs, we'll dive deeper into these opportunities to ignite and nurture ourselves as we explore tools that support us in creating a kinder world for ourselves and others. In transition? Please share your experiences and ask your questions at michelle@michellesherbun.com as we learn from each other. Follow me on LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Michelle Sherbun, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Michelle Sherbun came to her career first as a vocalist and an actor. And while she no longer performs, the listening and improv skills she honed on stage became the foundation for the leadership coaching she does today. Whether partnering with an individual leader or working with a nonprofit or business team, she taps and nurtures their courage, curiosity and creativity to create the possible. Her favorite question: WHY?

Written by: Dora Kurimay, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. People often confuse these two terms. Many assume they’re simply just two different words for the same thing, but this isn’t true. You can have a lot of self-esteem and minimal self-confidence. The opposite is also true. Having both is important. You’ll be more successful, happier in general, and happier with yourself if you can cultivate both qualities. See how self-confidence and self-esteem are two different things: Self-confidence is situation specific. 1. Confidence comes from the Latin word fidere, meaning “to trust” (Burton, 2015). Therefore, to be self-confident one must trust in oneself and their ability to engage with the world. You can have a lot of self-confidence regarding your ability to do math, host a great party, or play table tennis, tennis, golf, racket sports, or basketball. You can simultaneously have zero self-confidence in your ability to cook or sing. Self-confidence is the amount of trust you have in yourself to do a particular task well. 2. Self-esteem is the general impression you have of yourself. Self-esteem is a form of self-love. It’s how pleased you are with yourself in general. You can have a lot of self-confidence and very little self-esteem. The opposite can also be true. 3. Self-confidence is easier to build. Self-confidence is the result of preparation and success. For example, if you prepare well for a tournament, important event or presentation, or exam, you’ll have confidence in your ability to do well in these events. When you have a history of doing well at something, you’ll develop self-confidence in that area. 4. Self-esteem can’t be built with achievements, but self-confidence can. A wall full of trophies and awards can boost your self-confidence. However, it may do little for your self-esteem. You can be great at something without valuing yourself. Building self-confidence is work, but the work that needs to be done is quite clear. If you want to be confident at giving amazing serves, shots, shooting free throws, practice, shoot 100 of them each day until you’re consistently successful. Practice giving speeches until you’re good at giving them and you’ll develop self-confidence in that area of your life. Learning to love yourself more will help you build self-esteem. Practice these techniques to build your self-esteem: Identify your values and use them to guide your decisions. List your values and refer to your list often. Think about changes you can make to your life to live according to your values. Failing to adhere to your values is a leading cause of low self-esteem. Reject perfection. If you’re trying to be perfect, you’re going to fail. If you consistently fail at living up to a standard, your self-esteem will suffer. Lower the bar to something achievable and give yourself the chance to be pleased with yourself. Volunteer. Spend some of your time each week helping others that are less fortunate. This is a great way to show yourself that you’re a kind and giving person. Find an organization that serves a cause that you feel empathy for. Manage your self-talk. If you spend all day insulting yourself, it’s tough to feel good about yourself. There’s no way to permanently shut down your inner vocalizations, but you can manage them. Stop yourself when you notice negative self-talk and turn it into something positive. You can have one without the other. Self-esteem and self-confidence do not always occur together. But it’s much more powerful to have both than to only have one. It is entirely possible to be confident in your abilities but have low self-esteem. You can be wildly successful with just self-confidence, but your successes will never make you happy or satisfied. For example, a professional athlete or celebrity may have a lot of self-confidence in their abilities but may suffer from low self-esteem and doubt their worth. Both work together synergistically to create a life experience that can’t be duplicated any other way. However, when we are confident in areas of our lives, it may help to increase our overall sense of esteem, allowing us to work on both at the same time. Build self-confidence in the areas that serve you. Build your self-esteem so you can love yourself. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Dora! Dora Kurimay, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Dora Kurimay is an author, coach, and mental performance coach. She has been interested in psychology since a young age. Since her dad is a psychiatrist, she heard about the theories of Freud, Jung, Fromm by the time she was in high school. As an introvert, observing people and wanting to analyze and understand their behavior came naturally to her. When she played for the Hungarian Table Tennis National team, she came to realize the importance of the mental game and she also had a chance to work with a sports psychologist. In the process of working with a sports psychologist, she learned about the concept of “flow”, developed by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi about how she can perform her best effortlessly, which turned out to be transformative for her as a player. Along with the technique of visualization, these two things helped me to become one of the top players in Europe under age 18. Having experienced sports psychology’s ability to personal empowerment and professional success firsthand, she knew that after her sports career, she would transition into the field of psychology and sports psychology. Which she did. She is the founder of Dora Kurimay Inc. She works with athletes, professionals, teams, and anyone who seeks fulfillment and well-being in their mind, body, and spirit. Dora's effective training programs are designed to reduce stress, successfully manage internal and life balance, and maximize performance.

Written by: Janylene Turcotte, Cl.hyp, ACC, RTT, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Six years ago, a jarring event occurred in my life that would end up being the catalyst for incredible change. At the time, I had no idea that the very day I lost my employment would be such a positive, pivotal moment in my life and that my whole world would be turned upside down. It was the end of an era. Fast forward to a move to the countryside, a new career, a myriad of new friends, a thriving new business and a new me that is 30 pounds slimmer and sober! Just writing this, it all seems unreal. In August of 2016, as I sat in the conference room next to my colleagues, I knew instinctively that my life as I knew it would be dramatically altered. My superior had flown in from Toronto to meet me in person; I remember how I appreciated the soft and thoughtful energy I felt as she entered the room. To this day, I still have immense respect for her and feel a lot of compassion for those who have been informed—in this new virtual era—through web meetings and not face-to-face, that they are being let go from their jobs. I had just returned from a week in a Bahamian ashram where my alcohol and caffeine-free program consisted of daily meditation and yoga. I was more relaxed than I had ever been. When she broke the news that I was to lose my job, I actually felt a kind of peace—still on a ‘high’ from my yogic experience. I was ok; teary, but light and ok, nonetheless. All was good ‒ for now. Somewhere, somehow, there was a part of me that felt relieved; the little voice inside me that thought that I was not enough made me feel like I had never really ‘’belonged’’—all those years in the highly polished corporate world—I felt like an impostor. I was secretly thinking that they had finally “found me out.” I later heard that my dismissal was part of a massive reorganization in the company and that many of my colleagues were going to be let go as well. So the voice inside me telling me it was because I never really belonged, was, in reality, a deeply-rooted false belief that luckily, I would go on to change later in life. Lesson No.1 Jumping in too fast. A mere four days after I had lost my job of eight years, I had my first job interview. It was raining, but I was smiling, happy that I had landed an interview so quickly. During the interview, however, I drew a blank. I remembered nothing about the coveted position I was trying to get. I was confused. I wanted to go home. On my way home, I realized I didn't really want a carbon copy of my last job, in another large corporation. In my desire to quickly fill the void left inside me by losing my job, I had chosen the familiar path—but maybe, what I really needed was to create a new ‘familiar.’ At the time, I was already a certified coach and I was contemplating starting my own business. I eventually did move forward with this business but it ended up lying dormant for three years, until I became a hypnotherapist. I had planted the seeds in my subconscious of being a ‘solopreneur’—many people had advised me that this was the way to go—but I did not believe them. I believed I needed security and that I did not have what it takes to start a business and be on my own. Lesson No.2 Your network is your support system; build it well. I am somewhat intimidated by large groups. I rarely attend cocktail parties and other gatherings where ‘shmoozing’ is required. So I was amazed to discover I had quite a solid and deep network of people I could reach out to; people who genuinely cared for me, took me out for lunch, recommended me, wrote and texted me regularly to see how things were going. They were hugely encouraging and amazingly healing! These brilliant people had faith in me! I was overwhelmed, but thankful that I had managed to surround myself with such quality people. Whether you want to admit it or not, losing your job—especially in your late 40’s—delivers a serious blow to your self-confidence. Even if you are in HR, have fired excellent people before, and should probably know better. The fact is you don’t know better. At least, I didn’t. There is a stigma around losing your job; people always privately wonder if you had some kind of problem and you often feel you are on the justifying end of the story. Lesson No.3 Take a break and it’s ok to consider bridge employment. Months trickled by and then came the holidays with family gatherings, travel and new encounters, all of which provided opportunities for referrals and inquiries about potential jobs. Looking for work is itself a full-time job. Some may think you’re enjoying “time off” but the stress of uncertainty, the constant pressure to “sell” yourself, and the interview merry-go-round are draining! It’s ok to take a break. Taking a break, whether through travel or other means of self-care is essential before diving back into the job hunt. It refuels your intellect and your energy. It also provides time to take in everything you might have missed. It’s also a wonderful time for creative endeavors, as your mind is free to wander. Besides, nowadays, you don’t need to be home to search the ‘net’ for opportunities. So why not explore the job sites while enjoying time with friends in the country or overseas! This is how I ended up accepting a consultant position in a small firm I knew. Again, at the time I had no clue that this would be an amazing opportunity to bridge the gap between being a corporate executive and a business owner. At that firm, I learned a lot of skills that would prove helpful to me when I started my own business. While I was learning the ropes of the consulting business, I also became sober. The landscape of my life was starting to change and new circles of friends and life habits started to take form. Lesson No.4 Open yourself to new learning and possibilities. As I became sober, I took an interest in new things. I signed up for a weekend NLP (neuro linguistic programming) course. During the course, there was a hypnosis demonstration and I volunteered to do the exercise. I instantly fell in love with hypnosis—its endless possibilities and how quickly it worked— so much so that I took private sessions with the instructor to help me stay sober. As I left the first session, I knew I would become a hypnotherapist but I didn’t know at the time that eventually, I would unite my coaching skills, my experience as an executive, and hypnosis, to help people transition and transform their lives. I felt fearless, as if the last three years since I had lost my job suddenly made sense, and I was finally able to come to terms with it. Back then, I would never in a million years have considered or even thought about becoming a hypnotherapist and an entrepreneur. But life has a funny way of working out. One thing led to another and I went from accepting a bridge employment to signing up for new courses and suddenly things became clear. After more than 2000 hours as a hypnotherapist helping clients transition and transform, I can see, looking in retrospect at the big picture, how I was led subconsciously, to a succession of choices that ended up making sense Funnily enough, my brother reminded me the other day that when I was in high school, I had taken a course on meditation and relaxation and after school I was leading relaxation classes for my siblings, much like the hypnosis classes I am giving today. I had totally forgotten about this time in my life — to the point where I really have to make an effort to try and remember it. Then, about a month ago, I bumped into one of my best friends from high school and when she found out I was a hypnotherapist she said “I am not surprised; don’t you remember that you were doing these kinds of things on us?” Honestly, I don’t remember, but I guess the signs were always there. During sessions with my clients, we go to those places of childhood play and explore scenes that could point them in the direction of their deepest aspirations. Many times, the elements of our true purpose or calling are already there waiting to be accessed. Simply talking with someone from your past may unearth hidden treasures for you. I know without question that I’m a better person today and have a more enriched life now than I did on that day when my colleague broke the difficult news to me in the conference room. I understand, in retrospect, that this learning experience perpetuated more learning experiences. I also know that my corporate career has been instrumental in helping me build my new business. It gave me access to a wide network of people that I had been a part of and gave me credibility, which I had built during my time in the corporate world. In fact, every job I have held in the last 40 years has contributed to my current experience as a business owner ‒ everything from selling encyclopedias door-to-door to making hamburgers and selling clothes in a retail store, to being an HR executive. Bonus Lesson: The Human Experience The HR executive I once was may have helped me understand the mechanics of job loss. Having lived it first hand, I now possess a deeper understanding of the human experience and how what seems at first like the end of something can become a whole new beginning. It’s no surprise that your job affects every aspect of your life: your ego, your image, your finances, your relationships, etc. And much like hypnosis, losing your job can sometimes be a transformative event— a stepping stone to a whole new life. If you or someone you know is going through a difficult transition, I invite you to contact me for your free 30- minute consultation session and see what hypnocoaching can do for you. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more on Janylene! Janylene Turcotte, Cl.hyp, ACC, RTT, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine After more than 25 years as a top-level executive in the corporate world, Janylène Turcotte made a 360-degree career change and became a certified Clinical Hypnotherapist, Coach, and HypnoCoach. While going through her own major life transformation, she developed a unique 3-STEP MODEL as a tool to help herself, and now, her clients, through the complex process of transformation and transition. She graduated from the Marisa Peer School as an RTT (Rapid Transformational Therapy) Therapist. She has been an ICF Certified Coach for more than eight years and hosts the podcast ‘’ It’s Just a Belief’’.

Written by: Jen Barnes , Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. I've been practicing mindfulness and meditation for around 25 years. It wasn't until this morning I realized one of the most helpful mindfulness practices I do daily to help myself focus better. Last week in class, my yoga teacher shared some research mentioned on the Huberman Lab podcast around how we improve focus through mindfulness. It's not how you think. In fact, everything about mindfulness that freaks out people the most is the thing that creates the benefits. I suspect most of us know or have heard of mindfulness practices and perhaps even know how much they can help us. And yet, so few people practice it. Why? The number one reason I hear in my work why people don't practice mindfulness is fear of having "too many thoughts,” getting distracted, and doing it “wrong.” But the thing is the distraction, noticing you are distracted, and bringing yourself back to the object of your attention is actually what helps change the brain so you can focus better. Jon Kabat-Zinn, the founder of the Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Program, has long said that the practice isn't just sitting there serenely with no thoughts. The practice is noticing our attention has shifted and brought it back. That is what helps us improve our focus, among other things. Yet this fear of our thoughts, of getting distracted, or of our mind being too busy prevails and keeps people from mindfulness practice – the very thing that would help build attention in the first place. So here’s the deal. Your brain is going to think during mindfulness practices, and that's not bad or wrong. What we get wrong is that this is bad. But the thing is, our brains like to think; that's what they're there for, so they're not going stop thinking. Remember, mindfulness isn't about quieting the mind. It is a practice of putting our attention on something, noticing when we’ve been distracted, and bringing our attention back to the focus of our mindfulness practice. Sometimes this noticing comes after the practice itself. That’s not bad or wrong either. Whenever you notice you've been (or were) distracted, acknowledge it and bring your attention back to the focus of your mindfulness practice. I teach a lot of different mindfulness practices in my programs and in my work with individual clients. My favorite mindfulness practice to share with people who are just getting started is mindful toothbrushing because we all have to brush our teeth. Mindful toothbrushing is exactly how it sounds. As you brush your teeth, pay attention to every single tooth. Notice the taste of the toothpaste and any sounds that you hear as you brush your teeth. Then, as soon as you notice you've been distracted, acknowledge that you got distracted and refocus your attention on brushing your teeth. This practice is quick and easy and not only helps us take good care of our teeth but also helps us build our ability to focus. What I am about to share now is something I realized the other day while I was getting ready. I realized that I've been practicing mindfulness in a big way without even realizing it. I would be getting ready in the morning and notice myself doing something completely unrelated, such as starting to reorganize my pantry or vacuuming the bugs out of my office window. While I wanted to open the window during sessions that day and the pantry could use some TLC, that was not the task at hand. So, as soon as I caught myself off-task, I would say, “That is not a priority right now. Focus on getting ready,” and then bring myself back to getting ready and focusing on that. What I was doing was focusing on one thing, getting distracted, noticing I was distracted, and then bringing my attention back to the initial object of my focus. I never realized it, but this whole time (for years, maybe decades), my process of getting ready in the morning has essentially been one big mindfulness practice. The best part is that over time, this getting ready mindfulness practice has helped tremendously. I am now better able to stay focused and refocus relatively quickly when I get off track. This has helped me get ready faster in the morning but also helped me be more efficient and mindful throughout the day. I encourage you to give this or some other mindfulness practices a try. The most important thing to remember is that shame has no place here. You can't do mindfulness wrong. Just as soon as you notice that you're off track, gently observe that you are off track and bring your attention back to your initial point of focus. Before going on with your day, identify how you might bring mindfulness into your life starting today, even if for just one minute. And now, go do it. Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Jen! Jen Barnes, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Jen Barnes is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker in private practice in Minneapolis, MN. She specializes in complex trauma, PTSD, stress, and grief. The daughter and sister of nurses, she has a passion for empowering nurses to build resilience. She has worked with nurses 1:1 hoping to expand her reaching to a broader audience. In 2021 she completed the Dare to Lead certificate program in order to more effectively address organizational challenges in healthcare. Most recently, she spoke at the American Association of Critical Care Nurses’s 2022 NTI conference on Building Resilience in Nursing.

Written by: Maya Zack, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Are you free to create a new future or recreating past patterns? Our past experiences shape our thinking, behaviour, and emotions in both positive and negative ways. If you find yourself struggling in certain areas of your life or not achieving the success or goals you want, it may be because your past is holding you back. So letting go of the past is crucial if you want to create anything new in your life, whether an internal or external experience. Here are five ways your past is limiting you and what you can do about them. 1. ‘Failures’ you’re projecting onto future You’ve probably heard of the ‘growth mindset’ – the belief that your abilities & skills can be developed through learning and experience. This perspective is in contrast to a ‘fixed mindset’, where you believe your abilities are set in stone and can’t be changed. One area where a growth mindset can make a big difference is in your approach to failure. If you have a fixed mindset, you’re likely to see failures as proof that you’re not good enough and give up easily in the face of setbacks. You (perhaps subconsciously) believe failure is a permanent part of your experience and part of ‘who you are’ and therefore your future. You may feel like giving up because you think it’s not worth trying if you’re just going to fail again. Or you set yourself up for future failure because your mind creates experiences to ‘match up’ with your beliefs – as it loves being and proving it’s ‘right’. In contrast, if you have a growth mindset, you’re more likely to see failures as an opportunity to learn and grow. You’ll be more resilient in the face of setbacks and more likely to achieve your long-term goals. So remind yourself that failure is not only a normal part of life, but it’s also inevitable, unavoidable, and even desirable! Everyone makes mistakes and experiences setbacks. What matters is how you respond to failure, not the fact that you failed in the first place. Use these setbacks to get valuable insights into what works, what doesn't, or how you could do things better next time around. Pursuing new experiences without fear of failure, and even more so – with expecting and welcoming them, will hugely increase your chances of success, no matter what your goals are. 2. Conditioned beliefs We all have a past that has conditioned us to believe certain things about ourselves, others and the world around us. These define who we think we are and how we perceive and experience what life throws at us. These can limit us in many ways. Whatever you believe is true or possible, excludes whatever you believe is not true or not possible. These beliefs will never be objective; they’re entirely based on your own personal past experience & conditioning. Some of these beliefs might be: You believe you’re not good enough or worthy of success or happiness You believe you’re not capable of making a difference You believe the success or goals you want are out of reach Negative beliefs about other people and the world around you may also be limiting what you think is possible for you. The more beliefs you hold, the narrower your path becomes. So it’s important to identify any limiting beliefs you may have and work on letting go of the past by releasing them. The good news is, that since these were always subjective and never truth, they can drop away ‒ when you use the right tools. The mind accepts as a belief a perception that has been either Repeated to it many times Or that had some kind of very strong emotional charge at the time of experiencing it (such as a traumatic experience). This is why repetition and bringing up strong positive emotions work for creating new beliefs – such as what you might do with affirmations and visualisations. But these take time to sink in and become permanent, especially if you’re trying to ‘program’ positive beliefs to replace negative ones that were there first. The most effective way of working with these is changing them on a subconscious level, which is where they were created. One quick & effective way to dissolve limiting beliefs is to use the Sedona Method™ which I incorporate into my programs (as well as hypnosis, which creates subconscious change much faster and more easily). You get to effortlessly and emotionally experience (rather than just intellectually understand) the beliefs simply dissolving and no longer making any sense. Once you’re free of your beliefs, your mind is open to possibilities which previously seemed unavailable to you. 3. Attachment to stories Sometimes, it feels like no matter what we do, we can’t seem to move forward in life. It’s like we’re stuck in the same place, making the same mistakes and seeing the same patterns over and over again. Often, the reason why we’re stuck is because we’re attached to certain stories of our past. We might have conscious future goals we want to move towards, but subconsciously we might be holding onto past events, people or experiences we keep looking back to. This attachment can be a ‘positive’ one – having positive feelings around memories that we’d like to return to or not move on from. Even though the memories are ‘good ones’, this creates pain around the feeling of loss. There might be a limiting belief that your best days are behind you or that you’ll never experience that kind of joy again. Feeling this way makes it hard to open to new experiences. Constantly looking back prevents you from focusing on creating the future you want. The attachment can also be a negative one – so you might have feelings of anger & resentment, pain, grief or regret around past stories. If you’re holding onto these (feeling them is OK and healthy, it’s the holding on that becomes a problem), not only are you perpetuating your own suffering, but you’ll be carrying over these feelings into your present state, affecting and shaping your mindset, your actions and therefore the future you’re inevitably heading towards. So whether positive or negative stories, holding onto them fills your experience and your mind to the point where there’s no ‘space’ for new stories to come in. Your attention, whether consciously or not, is ‘occupied’ with the past and you’re unable to direct it most effectively toward your goals. It’s important then to focus on letting go of the past and of these attachments. Only then are you truly free to create the new, future stories you want. 4. Traumatic experiences If you’ve experienced trauma or rejection in the past, it can be difficult to feel secure and confident in yourself and your abilities. This can lead to self-doubt, feelings of unworthiness and a lack of self-love, which can prevent you from taking risks or going after what you want. Another way trauma holds you back is if you’ve been through a tough experience, it can be easy to lower your standards and settle for less than what makes you happy or what you truly deserve. And going back to an attachment to stories, if you’re still carrying around pain from past hurtful experiences, it‘ll be difficult to move on and create a healthy future. So it’s important to work through all these feelings so that you can let go of the past and start fresh. And remember that you deserve happiness and success regardless of what’s happened in your past. 5. Identifying with the past version of you Often, we identify with the past version of ourselves to such an extent that it limit's our ability to create a new and improved future self. All those attachments and beliefs might have you think that you’re ‘fixed’. That your personality is set and unchangeable. That it’s ‘just who I am’. The truth is, you are not fixed at all. Your character is in a constant state of shifting, learning and developing. But this process only happens when uninterrupted and not blocked by your sense of identification with the past. The only thing preventing you from changing and improving is the belief you cannot. Here’s a question for you – if you were to lose your memory, who would you be? What would be stopping you from being or doing anything you want? Nothing. So of course, I’m not saying you should lose your memory, but you can drop your identification with it. When you work on letting go of the past while taking responsibility for who you are, you are free to create your future self. Nothing would be stopping you. So if any of these sound familiar, don't worry ‒ you're not alone. We all have moments where we let our past dictate our future. The important thing is to catch yourself when you're doing it and make a conscious decision and effort to move forwards. Personally, I’ve come from a traumatic upbringing and I was in a state of anger, self-hate and insecurity until my 30’s. Today, I teach and coach others how to be their most confident self. This was possible for me because I believed that freedom was available to me, and that was always my end goal. I always knew (though took time to learn to practice this on a daily basis) that in this present moment, unless I recreate my past stories and so called ‘personality’ in my mind, I’m free to do and be whatever I want. So know that it’s never too late to make a change. Letting go of the past is possible at any given moment. Just because something has been holding you back in the past doesn’t mean it has to continue doing so in the future. Focus on NOW and onwards, no matter what was. Let go of what's holding you back. Be open to new experiences and opportunities. You have the power to choose how your story will end—so choose consciously and align subconsciously! If you need help with that, feel free to reach out or check out my 6-week life-changing Sedona Releasing program. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Maya! Maya Zack, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Maya Zack is an award-winning personal development & mindset coach, peak performance specialist and hypnotherapist. Based in the UK, she works internationally, mainly with women entrepreneurs as well as with businesses to create high-performance teams that aim to make a positive impact on people’s lives. She helps business owners, leaders and teams free themselves from mental & emotional habits or blocks that prevent them from experiencing more success or slow it down. She has developed her unique signature 8-week step-by-step mindset makeover programs for aspiring as well as already established entrepreneurs that change thinking & feeling patterns on the deepest, subconscious level, reprogramming their minds for success so that new habits & behaviours quickly become automatic and effortless. She believes it’s so important to our lives, joy and fulfilment to be doing what we love and daring to go for it regardless of the outcome. So many are held back by fear and she wants to change that. She believes success happens from the inside out alongside mindset mastery, and that as humans with imagination, we have the incredible capacity to become free, powerful creators of ourselves and our lives.

On International Peace Day, we are speaking with author, speaker, and leadership consultant, Kawtar El Alaoui to hear how creating a peaceful world can be an integral part of your life, as much as your organization’s business model. Kawtar El Alaoui, Conscious Leadership Coach & Facilitator Kawtar, the idea that peace can be the center of a business model sounds very intriguing. Tell us more about this concept. How did this come about in your work? I have been exploring what creates wellness due to some realizations from my own journey to wellness as I recovered from trauma. I was highly surprised to find that the principles that create wellness and inner peace are universal and scalable to larger systems. When I met Dr. Scilla Elworthy, a three-time Nobel Peace Prize Nominee, in 2020, she confirmed everything I had learned. After 50 years of working with leaders to create world peace, she came to the realization that creating peace in the world can only happen if we make it a priority at the personal level. That was an important stepping stone in sharing my message that by focusing on personal wellness and peace for employees and leaders, companies could literally contribute to world peace. Is that all there is to it? Contribute to inner peace, and you will create world peace? It is more complex than that. Being a conflict transformation expert and mediator, I have learned that peace is an active process we engage in daily. The dynamics of conflict, which lead to wars at their extreme, are so deeply ingrained in our cultures that we must invest our time, attention, and proper resources to make peace sustainable. The good news is that by investing in employee well-being and organizational purpose, companies begin that shift. What is the role of purpose in peace? Organizations, as well as individuals that live with intentionality, and have a clear and compelling purpose tend to do better, not only from a health perspective but also from a wealth perspective. Purpose connects us to the core of what matters and makes it easy to implement what seems difficult. A level of resilience and clarity emerges from one being aligned with a purpose that is unmatched and cannot be found when operating from the paradigm of separation and lack. Many companies seem to be struggling with successfully implementing change. What’s your take on that? From what I see, many companies already invest in employee wellness; however, having several initiatives without measuring their impact and without real intentionality causes most wellness programs to fail, costing time, resources, and stakeholders’ trust. I also noticed that most programs address surface-level problems rather than root causes. And to address root causes, we need to work at these 4 levels actively: Personal Relational Cultural Systemic How can companies begin their journey to purpose and sustainable peace? I map out a journey for leaders and individuals alike to create cultures of well-being, belonging, and peace in my book Unfolding Peace, found on Amazon, and my team and I create customized journeys for leaders to bring this work to their organizations or communities. And the first step always begins with Self-leadership. We also created free monthly calls for anyone who wants to dive deeper into the book with us to join starting from October 2022. I encourage anyone looking for more well-being to buy this book today and join us on the journey of unfolding peace personally and collectively. Here are some of the amazing endorsements received for this book: "In Unfolding Peace, Kawtar El Alaoui has sounded a trumpet call to emerging and seasoned leaders working in service of others, guiding us to recognize that we can't build healthy and happy cultures without first taking the time to do our own inner work. Through her words, Kawtar empowers leaders to leverage individual strengths and experiences to lead their teams with empathy, agency, and courage. She uses her own experiences to provide tools and approaches to help leaders build resilience and navigate within rapid-change environments while cultivating greater compassion and connection with their teams. This book is a powerful reminder that in order to create peace around us, we must first create it within us." — Dimple Dhabalia, Writer and Founder of Roots in the Clouds, Former Senior Advisor to the Refugee, Asylum, and International Operations Directorate "'I' has reached its limit. Without abandoning 'I,' our human family now needs to develop the fullness of 'We'—Conscious Togetherness. 'We' is the way forward. We need 'We' to solve our collective problems and take humanity to its next evolutionary level. This book is a beacon helping light this new path. Buy it, read it, and watch how it contributes to your 'We' and to a much better world." — Martin Rutte, Founder of Project Heaven On Earth "This piece of art that Kawtar has written is not just a book — it's a life-changing 'deep conversation' that shakes you out of everything and anything that has been bogging you down. I really appreciate how the book does not just stop at abstract talk and quotes. Instead, it delves into the science and practical methods by which you can change your life RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW. Above all, I appreciate Kawtar's willingness to open up about her personal experience of struggle; her vulnerability made me feel validated and gave me the courage to begin taking care of my own emotional state. Especially at a time in which everyone all around the world feels so stuck and helpless, I hope this book can be a beacon of hope and the start of something amazing within each and every person." — Jiwon Lee, Author of The Third Culture Teen Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and visit my website for more info! Read more from Kawtar!

Written by: Aleksandr Iurev, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. With virtual reality increasingly a part of our lives, now is the time to prepare yourself and your company for the ultimate VR experience — the Metaverse. There are many opportunities in this new digital realm, but many businesses, both small and large, are still unaware of what the Metaverse holds and even what it is. The history of human communication and social interaction goes back about 12,000 years. At that time, nomadic hunters would periodically gather in sacred public areas such as Göbekli Tepe in what is now Turkey, or Stonehenge in Great Britain. People communicated with stories and images engraved on stone. Many centuries later, they invented signs and symbols. Still, even later, humans came up with letters and texts, and then the printing press. Finally, in the modern age, we invented the telegraph, then the telephone; email and video calls. Today, we’re on the threshold of yet another revolution in communication and social gathering. This next level is the Metaverse and other Web 3.0 applications. Companies active in the Metaverse raised over $10 billion in 2021. The entire Metaverse market was worth $480 million in 2020, and it’s expected to grow to $800 billion by 2027. Big tech companies, including Meta, Microsoft, Nvidia, Apple and Alphabet have joined in shaping VR/ XR spaces and investing in Metaverse startup. Here’s 7 pieces of advice for taking your first steps into the Metaverse. Concept. Just as the Internet of the late 1990s bears no resemblance to the Internet of today, no one knows the final form that the Metaverse will take. At its core, the Metaverse is a 3D representation of the physical world where you’re fully immersed. Instead of creating content based on predefined guidelines, you can create and design your own virtual world. Some of the most promising Metaverse business opportunities are in Gaming, Entertainment, VR real estate, and Non-fungible tokens (NFTs). Plan. You’re new to the Metaverse and aren’t sure where you want to go. Don’t panic. The party is just getting started and this is a great time to do your research and learn about this exciting new landscape. You can have a digital storefront for consumers to buy and sell products online, similar to a physical store. The Metaverse promises a new way of how to communicate, to promote brands, to learn and to entertain. Audience. Who is your target audience? Find out who they are and learn how they spend their time and money in the Metaverse. About 40% of the Metaverse market growth will be driven by consumers in the U.S. and Canada, which are key areas for the Metaverse real estate market. Also, let’s take another example, NFTs are selling to an older demographic — over 30 years old — and they tend to be more affluent. Then there’s the Metaverse for the fashion market, which is expected to increase in value to $6.6 billion in 2026. Selling. Sales opportunities in the Metaverse are limitless, ranging from digital goods and skins for avatars to collectible NFTs, interactive games and live concerts. By 2030, some experts think that nearly 50% of live events could also be held in the Metaverse. Similar growth statistics are predicted for tourism and education. Are you going to sell virtual products, or buy land and build a virtual store or create a new game? Cryptocurrencies allow users to interact commercially. Start your own. Create an NFT. This is easy to do and inexpensive, but there’ll be marketing costs. Invest. Similar to real estate and retail in real life, you can’t just buy virtual land or build a virtual store and then forget about it. You need to refresh it with new merchandise, displays and experiences to make sure people keep coming back. A top-notch virtual store or other major VR presence can require an investment in the millions. That’s probably not you at this stage. So, choose your virtual storefront carefully. The more virtual space you offer, the more likely you will convince customers to buy your products. Participate. Get out there and be a part of the action. Go into Decentraland, run around and explore. Create an avatar and start to feel comfortable in your new skin and this brave new world. Research the brands that are already doing well in the Metaverse. You’ll find familiar brands, and others that aren’t well known. If your target group isn’t in the Metaverse today, they’ll definitely be there in a few months or years. Security. Concerns over safety and security naturally will arise in the Metaverse. For example, how to protect people’s identity. Many users prefer not to be identified with their avatars. But what about crime and hacking? Already, many children are complaining of being scammed in games such as Roblox, and little can be done to stop the culprits. Imagine how potentially lawless the Metaverse could become. Come up with security protocols and procedures to protect yourself and your employees. For now the Metaverse is being used just for business, entertainment and fashion, but it will soon become an integral part of every aspect of our lives. The Metaverse is a new era of how people will interact. Welcome to the future. Follow me on Facebook, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Aleksandr! Aleksandr Iurev, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Aleksandr Iurev is a serial entrepreneur, with many years of experience in launching startups. His most recent is Pocketfied, which will radically disrupt the mobile app development industry with its highly innovative technology and service. Overall, Mr. Iurev has 20 years of experience in the IT sector, as well as in DevOps, and Information Security. He cut his teeth in Tech working in IT security for the largest banks in Russia, as well as for top IT companies. That experience protecting clients from hacker attacks is one reason why he attaches top priority to building secure systems so that users can be certain they're protected.

Regina Bauscher has worked in the clean skin space for over 20 years. It began in making "clean" products for her family while raising her children. With education in chemistry, advanced certification in Soap-Making, Essential Oils & Aromatherapy, her goal is to create products that do no harm, create for those who are sensitive skinned and help people find comfort in their skin. Regina is a Level 2 Certified Aromatherapist. Regina & Steve Bauscher, Owner Introduce yourself. Approximately 11 years ago, my husband and I moved back to the country and bought property We wanted to return to the lifestyle we had as kids. We wanted to further our interest in homesteading, gardening and get back into animal husbandry. My husband grew up with goats and wanted to be able to drink raw goat milk again, so we started with two milking goats. Besides making our own cheese, we also used the milk in our soapmaking, which cleared my husband’s skin condition. This unexpectedly later turned into our full-time business of nature-based skin care. When we aren’t creating skin care products, we enjoy professionally competing with our goats in the summertime, leisure travel, periodic camping and cooking over a campfire for fun. With our children all grown our dependents are now are six dogs and twenty seven goats. A Great Pyranees, named Porthos who is a livestock guardian dog that lives with the goats full time. We also have a senior yellow lab named Peanut and four little chihuahuas, named Gizmo, Gomez, Piper and Anastasia. We have 14 grandchildren between us and just started working with a few of them in 4-H. This was their first year and we came home with a Grand Champion and a Reserve Grand Champion. Having too much fun to retire just yet, so it’s a full life! What kind of audience do you target your business toward? Our business is targeted to anyone seeking clean, safe skin care. They are typically discerning consumers who appreciate nature-based ingredients, organic where possible and want to do business with smaller companies. They appreciate an educated staff who can answer their questions. They rely on us for safe ingredients, that are ideally sustainable, and appreciate our efforts to use recyclable, renewable packaging when possible. We target customers who have sensitive skin issues and still struggle to find answers or products that work. Many of our products have helped these consumers find comfort in their skin. What are your current goals for your business? We are engaged in a total website redesign in the near term, hoping to be complete in the next month or so. We believe we make the best goat milk soap on the market and need to get the story out there. We do not use ingredients common in many top brands and our customer satisfaction is off the charts. We are one of the most certified goat milk soaps in the industry and our farm is Certified Humane, showcasing the pampered care of our goats as well. Getting the word out on how and why we are so different is a big priority. Who inspires you to be the best that you can be? It may sound old-fashioned…but I think for both of us, it would be our parents, outstanding role models who gave us our work ethic. We’ve both achieved things in our separate lives that has proven this to us. Dedication to quality will reflect on you as an individual and will open or close doors accordingly. What is your work inspired by? We are inspired every day by the feedback from our customers, particularly those who have not been able to find relief from any other product, including pharmaceuticals. It is humbling and satisfying to know someone is no longer in discomfort because they used one of our products. Greatest career achievement so far. It is three fold for us… our products have won Bath & Body Competition Awards, International Certified Clean and EWG acceptance, our goats have won 3 National Championships and the humans won the Better Business Bureau Torch Award for Business Ethics in 2021. If you could change one thing about your industry, what would it be and why? Transparency & Education for the Consumer. Companies do not have to share the ingredients in all their products and are protected under “trade secret laws” from full disclosure. Yet, they still want to be considered natural or plant based because that is where consumer demand is the highest. It has encouraged a process called “Greenwashing” where the addition of 1 or 2 botanical extracts and photos of plants and leaves on the packaging are used to leave the consumer with the impression that the product is made of natural ingredients, when in reality, the functional ingredients did not change. Taking advantage of a consumer’s ignorance is short-sighted. Being transparent and educating a consumer as to a product’s composition, engenders strong customer loyalty. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, Linkedin, or visit my website for more info! Read more from Regina!

Written by: Caroline Lewis, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. I know the rugged individualist hero archetype well. There have been times in my life that I pushed through life’s challenges by pulling up my bootstraps. I participated in programs that taught me wilderness skills as a form of leadership but a neglected song, dance, ceremony, and true surrender to the power and wisdom that naturally flows when connecting deeply to the Earth in the community together. We are TOO often taught that leadership is an individual endeavor, one that prioritizes more masculine qualities, such as rationality, stoicism, aggression, strength, hierarchy, and endurance. “Leading from the feminine is bigger than leading from the heart. It includes leading from your connection to the divine or sacred as well and also from intuition and your body’s senses and awareness. I believe that women’s amazing capacity to heal, grow and strengthen each other is likely the single greatest underutilized resource we have, as a species, for transforming our world.” — Nina Simons But this current leadership paradigm is no longer serving our larger Earth community. Instead of a hierarchical model, the Earth is desperately seeking to re-balance itself which includes a call for all of us to rebalance our own inner masculine and feminine energies. Cultivating the inner courage to step forward as a leader is important, but so is working together, bringing forth all of our own unique talents, co-creating a new vision for the future that surpasses anything that we could have ever previously imagined. And this is not out of reach… Last summer, I participated in two River Trips for women and non-binary folks. On these adventures, I technically “led” and organized the trips. However, I was in awe of the grace that can happen when women come and lead together, directly fed by the divine feminine well of the River’s waters. These River Trips were a shared leadership experience. Though I may have had the vision, ALL other group members stepped forward with their own unique gifts and magic in order to create and manifest a transformative community journey of a lifetime. And I am convinced that Wildly Sensitive people will lead this way forward together. By cultivating a sensitive collective in nature, we can learn and embody leadership that is shared through reciprocity, mutual care, and a true honoring and uplifting of highly sensitive gifts such as intuition, empathy, and heightened sensory awareness. As an empath, you can learn to communicate and lead from the vulnerable places where your heart breaks for the world while remaining grounded and centered when the Earth needs sensitive and feminine leadership the most. The current paradigm of leadership is not designed for sensitive folks. Sensitive ones learn and process differently than others. Instead of prioritizing only masculine qualities, it is necessary for you as an empath to learn to lead from your inner feminine, held by your masculine. When your feminine and masculine wisdom rise directly from Earth’s source, they flow beyond the binary ‒ supporting you in emerging and leading from your wildest true nature. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Caroline! Caroline Lewis, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Caroline Lewis (she,they) is a psychotherapist, energy healer, and wilderness guide. She believes true embodied joy is rooted in the courage to embrace sensitivity, opening our hearts through the necessary risks to love, grieve, hope, and transform. Through healing and sacred nature connection, Caroline guides wildly sensitive leaders with aligning with their true purpose and souls' wisdom during this time of ecological transition. She is the founder of Root Awareness which offers transformative experiences through nature adventures, meditation, process groups, and 1:1 healing and coaching sessions.

Written by: Bernice Fabi, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. My vision for our 25th wedding anniversary had always been a romantic vacation on an elegant safe cruise ship. My husband had another idea. I finally gave in from exasperation, and although reluctant, the slightest curiosity for a new adventure. Quicker than I could set the dinner table, our credit card had a deposit on it and our vacation was booked. We were going to give a toast to our marriage on a 30-foot sailboat barefoot instead. I could already imagine sending out an SOS. My husband spent a better part of his later youth testing fish in Northern British Columbia, Canada. I’ve heard memories of remote area adventures, breathtaking lakes and scenery. He loves anything that involves water including fishing, boating and recently, had developed a keen interest in sailing. Frankly, I love the water but am intimidated beyond any body of water bigger than the local swimming pool. Adding rolling waves is just another scary dimension. I had three months yet to live before I imagined being capsized in the middle of a glacial lake. On the 9-hour car drive, well actually 16 hours if you count the overnight stay in the car because we couldn’t find a hotel vacancy, I diligently studied an illustration of the sailboat sent with our introductory package. I planned to put labels around the boat and packed bright pink sticky notes and a thick felt tip marker. The instructor must have anticipated what newbie sailors might be up to as he already had the job done in professional white and black labels. I do admit the light wind on our first and exceptionally hot day was a feeling that made me take a deep breath in, hold it and let it out real slow. As I stood before the gray weathered dock, I couldn’t take my eyes off of the moored boats, sails furled, masts reaching high, majestic against the clear deep blue sky. It still looked intimidating. “This is home for the next four days.” My husband paused and continued, “Well, three actually plus an optional day on our own''. He said the last part rather quickly and quietly, but I caught it. Under my breath, I whispered, “Yes, three days!” And this is where my summer lessons started, not only in sailing, but in life. The days on the water taught me to unlearn that time is attached to the hands of a clock. Instead, I learned to follow the setting sun to sleep and the rising sun to wake. You guessed it, no power to read or write, only enough to enjoy the moonlight. I woke to glass like water that would turn into mid morning waves signaling time to sail. I focused on the rhythm of the waves rather than the urgency of “to do” alarms. The days on the water taught me to feel a sense of oneness with the water, with the wind, with the sky, with the boat. Nothing else mattered in certain moments of captivation. The experience was meditative, reflective and all consuming. There was no such thing as time, only experiencing the moment. The days on the water taught me that nature is powerful and you can neither defeat or conquer it but you can be in harmony with it and that is peace. I learned to read the direction of the wind and patterns of the water rather than restlessness driven by the busyness and expectations of society. On the water there was no expectation of where we would get to and when, only freedom. The days on the water taught me to manage risk. As a beginner sailor, I was taught to mitigate challenges and bite off what I felt comfortable with. I was taught to anticipate the unexpected. When I did I felt exhilarated and empowered to face the next challenge. I learned that I cannot control the environment around me but I can remain in calm self-control. The days on the water taught me the importance of communication and teamwork. This is especially important with a spouse despite the fact that you’re wearing life vests. I learned to rely on aids and intuition to maneuver and reposition sails, track our path and maximize the wind to get the best efficiency. So it is with the zig zag pattern of life at times. I learned the value of connecting to other humans rather than being tied to technology. At the beginning and end of each day we met other sailors or casually conversed with campers gathered by a steaming kettle plugged into a power pole. The power of connection through a quiet conversation took priority over the news or social media. I felt at ease with the simplicity of life that lifted me rather than data and demands that normally drowned me. At the end of the third day we were asked by the skipper what our plans were for the fourth day. After a sleepless night of hesitation, only on my part, I was encouraged to make the decision. “We’ll take it out.” The fourth day taught me to face fear Bareboat meant no instructor. No one to rely on. No one to guide us. I still hadn’t lost that image of capsizing the boat. Alone and a bit nerve wracked to start, myself anyway, we ventured that day cautiously but gradually with more comfort. We caught the wind and gained speed. It was an exhilarating experience to maneuver and heel with the wind, to challenge ourselves and gain more confidence. Only independence could have enabled this liberation from fear. This was freedom! I felt the wind still teasing and testing as we neared the dock and lowered the sails. There was a bit of a longing already developing within me, like something I would be missing. This adventure, and specifically the last several hours I decided at that moment, was certainly a highlight of my summer. These were the kind of experiences that taught life lessons in the most unexpected ways. As we motored the last few minutes into the marina unscathed, the wind encouraged us onward, enticing us to raise a toast and the sails again, for our 26th anniversary. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Bernice! Bernice Fabi, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Bernice Fabi is a certified Life and Empowerment Coach for women. She also applies mental fitness into her programs for a truly life changing experience. Always an eager life student, Bernice brings an array of experience to her coaching practice including a lengthy financial career and as an entrepreneur in real estate investment and management. Bernice helps women overcome limiting beliefs and realize their potential. In doing so, they make choices to live an extraordinary and purposeful life.

Written by: Daniel Mangena, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Deck: Are you frustrated by your inability to maximize your efficiency and get things done? If you find yourself plagued by distractions and a mounting workload, this article is for you. We all want to learn how to become more disciplined. Nobody really likes that feeling of an incomplete task list, looming deadlines and unrealized life goals. So what are some ways to overcome laziness and procrastination? The first thing to recognize (and this may sound like a semantic copout) is that laziness and procrastination aren’t you ‘failing’. When you’re sat around playing video games, shopping for a new dress or making yet another cup of coffee; you’re succeeding. You’re just succeeding at the wrong things! We’re all running on subconscious programming, as much as 97% of the time. This is for a good reason. If you consider all of the bodily functions, movements and general tasks you go through in a single hour, you need those to be handled without conscious intervention. If you had to consciously choose to take every breath, you’d have a very full day! The subconscious runs all of that, but it is also responsible for our fight or flight response. Again: this is for a good reason. You don’t want to have to first weigh the pros and cons of running away from a hungry tiger. The problem is, your subconscious is actually just your prehistoric brain. It’s what our ancestors developed when they lived in caves and fought (ran away from) saber-toothed tigers. As such, it doesn’t really respond to modern, conscious thinking. This is why it’s virtually impossible to intellectualize away your laziness and procrastination. It happens every January. The same old resolutions come out don’t they? “Lose weight”, “make more money”, “drink less” etc… and do you stick to them? Well maybe, but if you did, you represent only between 9-12% of the 41% of Americans who even make resolutions in the first place. Why is this number so woeful? Because that 97% of your brain is not just concerned with day-to-day operations, it’s also tasked with keeping you safe. Unfortunately, being such an ancient machine, running on the most basic of programming, safe simply equates to: “the same”. That’s how basic your mind is. It operates on the assumption that the status quo, up until now, has resulted in your continued survival. It, therefore, surmises that it should be preserved, in order to maintain your safety. This is why you see people being emotionally addicted to scenarios, people and places that are really not serving their growth. It’s why we become so intransigent, even in the face of overwhelming intellectual evidence that we need to change. You see: it’s not that we’re ‘failing’ to do anything. We’re perfectly executing our internal programming. It’s just not programming that we consciously desire. With this in mind then, here’s how to become more disciplined: find a strong enough ‘why?’ that will give you sufficient leverage over your internal programming. As Nietzsche said: “He who has a strong enough why, can weather any how”. Or words to that effect. We can obviously understand that intellectually: “if I want something enough, I’ll do whatever I have to to get it.” But what’s more important is that our subconscious understands this too. More than simply having the ‘why’ though, is the connection to it. If that is so strong that it represents your life’s purpose, and that the thought of not achieving it feels like dying (albeit a symbolic death) then you will get your subconscious on board. Unlike your conscious mind, your subconscious developed long before language did. It therefore can’t be reasoned with using words. You have to speak to it with emotion. This is why the pull towards your consciously chosen goals has to be so strong! This is really how you instill discipline. Think of it as a life hack. With that emotional connection established, like a compass pointing due North; you’ll have no issue doing what it takes to get there. Another life hack, that will help you to become more disciplined, and overcome laziness and procrastination, is “micro-shifting”. A huge reason why you fail to ‘scale the mountain’ of your stated aims, resolutions and life-goals; is because you fixate on the summit. You can’t jump to the top of Mount Everest in one go. You have to break it down step-by-step. That’s what micro-shifting is all about. Again, it comes back to your subconscious. The reason why fixating on the summit is a problem, is that it represents too much change. Yes; you derive your emotional pull (‘why’) from it, but that must be met with practical actions that can be taken in the direction of achieving that outcome. Push your edge, not your buttons. We all have what I refer to as an “edge”. This is the line beyond which your subconscious deems to be unsafe territory, and fights back. This can be in the form of anxieties, or self-sabotaging behaviors like laziness and procrastination. These are really just expressions of discomfort from your subconscious programming. So the point is to find your edge, and then make sure that you move towards your goal in micro-shifts that expand your edge in manageable steps. Here’s an example: say you want to grow your business to $1M turnover. The first thing to do is lock in that goal and connect with it on an emotional level, truly understanding your ‘why' and who you want to become in the process. Next ‒ identify the easiest first step towards it. If you don’t have one, let me help: start a journal. It’s a vital tool in organizing your thoughts and working with your subconscious. Your first step, therefore, is to go out and buy a journal. That shouldn’t create too much resistance from your subconscious, but say that it does. In that case, go one step smaller and simply set the intention of going to the stationary store. No pressure to buy anything, you’re merely looking. Hopefully, you get the point: find ways to defuse the emotional charge of these incremental steps towards change, by focussing on the tasks that seem utterly benign to you. As you go about completing those, your subconscious will be supplied with evidence that making progress in your chosen direction is not as dangerous as it feared. Very quickly you’ll find that you are noticing new opportunities and bigger steps that you can take towards your $1M company. Congratulations: you have pushed your edge. Now your subconscious is working for you and your consciously chosen desires. It’s looking for evidence to support your new reality, just like when you get a new car and start noticing how many others there are on the road. Hopefully, now you have more of an understanding of what laziness and procrastination really are. Simply being armed with that knowledge, you’ll have a much better understanding of how to overcome them and feel more disciplined as a result. Try taking some baby-steps in the direction of a new goal today, and just observe the changes that occur within you. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Daniel! Daniel Mangena, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Dan Mangena is a best-selling author, entrepreneur, philanthropist, and public speaker. Recently named in the Wall St Journal as a "Master of Success," he is completely self-made and has spent decades perfecting his world-class coaching methodology. His books, podcasts, events & retreats continue to help captains-of-industry and private individuals alike live an abundant, joyful, purpose-driven life. He offers many unique and effective free tools via his website.

Written by: James Phelan, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Communication is one of the most important skills you can have to create better relationships. It's not just about being able to talk, but also about listening and understanding what other people are saying. The more we listen to understand others, the better we will get at it. The following steps will help you improve your communication skills: 1. Start talking softly, don't criticize The first step to better communication is being honest and open. You can start by simply trying "I think we need to talk about this." It's important not to criticize the other person or jump to conclusions before they've had a chance to explain themselves. Be calm and respectful when you approach them with your concerns, even if it seems like the easiest thing in the world right now. If you’re feeling frustrated, it can be tempting to start the conversation with something like, “You always do this!” or “Why do I always have to be the one who does everything around here?” But if your goal is for your partner to hear what you have to say, then it might be better to start with something simple like, “I think we need to talk about this.” This approach gives them an opportunity to acknowledge that there is a problem and an opportunity for both of you to talk about how things might change moving forward (which brings us neatly onto step two…). 2. Be clear and specific Let's say you're annoyed because your partner is leaving dishes in the sink. You might want to express this annoyance, but if you're going to use "you" in the sentence and not sit down with him or her and talk things out first, then they'll likely feel attacked and get defensive. A better way to express the same problem would be something along these lines: "I get frustrated when dishes are left in the sink. Can you put them in the dishwasher please?" This way your partner will hear what it is about their behavior that bothers you without feeling attacked by an accusatory tone. If there's one rule of thumb when it comes communicating effectively, it's this: state what exactly YOU want or need from someone else without being vague or accusing them of doing something wrong. Don't say "You make me so mad!" or "You're always late!" or "It's your fault!". When you’re upset with a loved one, it can be tempting to blame them or use harsh language. Don’t do this! It won't help your relationship and will likely make things worse. Instead of saying, “You make me so mad!” try, “I don't like being frustrated when I'm trying to get something done. Can we figure out how to avoid this from happening again?” Similarly, instead of saying, “You're always late!” try saying something like: “I would really appreciate it if we could be on time for appointments together so that our time isn't wasted waiting around for each other. How can we work on getting our calendars synced up so that this doesn't happen again? Say Instead, say something like," I'm frustrated because we hardly see each other." Describing how you feel is much better than putting blame on the other person. Rather than saying, "You never spend time with me," try using more specific language. For example, “I’m frustrated because we hardly see each other.” Also, never blame the other person or make it about them—this will only cause more arguments and hurt feelings. Communication is a skill for life that must be practiced daily to keep it in shape and avoid future miscommunication. 3. Listen with curiosity, not judgment Listening is a skill that can be learned. It’s not about waiting for your turn to talk; it’s about understanding what the other person is saying and showing that you care. When we listen to judge we move into contempt. Research has shown that contempt is the number one predictor of divorce. The opposite of judgement is curiosity. When you find yourself thinking about what you want to say next, STOP! Acknowledge the speaker by nodding or saying “I see,” “okay,” or “right.” Listen with an open mind and heart and allow them to finish their thought before responding with an open question such as “What do you mean?” It's easy to want to jump into a conversation and argue about your opinion as soon as someone starts talking. Try listening more! Don't interrupt Don't argue Don't judge Don't be defensive Don't try to explain your side of the story; just listen to what they have to say first, then you can share yours if they want your opinion or input on something specific (like a project). And if they don’t ask for it and don’t seem interested in hearing your side, maybe it's best not saying anything at all right now! 4. Repeat in your own words Finally, repeat what they said to show you were listening. It's easy to misunderstand people when we're distracted or daydreaming. It also shows that you care about understanding their point of view and will help avoid any miscommunications in the future. If there was a misunderstanding, this step allows an opportunity for both parties to clear things up and ensure everyone is on the same page with regards to expectations and desired outcomes. This can be one of the easiest and most powerful things you can do when communicating with another person. Repeat what they said in your own words so that you both know you understand each other. If there was a misunderstanding, this will allow an opportunity to clear things up. Communication is more than a conversation Communication is more than just having a conversation; it's about listening and understanding. It's about being able to talk about difficult things. It's about being able to talk about the things that are important to you, even if they're not important to someone else. To communicate effectively, you need to be able to listen without interrupting and have an open mind when someone is talking to you. You also need to understand what they're saying so that you can respond appropriately. If someone says something wrong or offensive, don't get defensive—ask them questions so that they can explain themselves better before deciding whether their statement was appropriate or not. Conclusion It's important to remember that communication is a two-way street. If you want to be heard by someone else, you have to listen as well. The best way to start improving your relationship with someone else is by listening and repeating what they said in your own words. This will help them feel heard and understood, which can lead to better conversations going forward. Visit my website for more info! Read more from James! James Phelan, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Jim Phelan is a leader in the field of psychology and personal transformation. Having trained with the foremost experts in the field he uniquely qualified to offer help in the areas of relationships, stress and anxiety management and sleep disturbance. Jim has studied personal development and the psychology of change since early childhood. He founded Phelan Counseling and Consulting after earning two Master's degrees in the field of counseling and psychology.