Written by: Daphney Poyser , Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. New year, New you? With the start of the year already under wraps, it can feel very enticing to take on new intentions for the relationships you currently have in your life–or even the ones you hope to cultivate. However, as with all resolutions, sometimes things are easier said than actually done. 1. Before you establish any hard and fast commitments, we suggest doing a light background search on the person or people you plan on welcoming into your life. It could be something as simple as a google search or even a more elaborate, standard background check. It’s a hard line to tow, and we never want to make others feel as if we are intruding on their privacy; however, when it comes to protecting your peace it can be helpful to assume your own best interest at first, before anyone else's. 2. Slow and steady wins the race , and while dating isn’t necessarily a competition, there should be something said about not rushing into new endeavors–regardless of how promising they seem. I always recommend that people start slow and really take the time to get to know someone. As they say, the first person out of the starting gates isn’t always the one to win the race. 3. Patience truly is a virtue, and as with all good behaviors, knowing how to practice positive restraint can lead to even higher rewards. The easiest way to keep your eagerness at bay? Establish a solid set of expectations about what you want early into your relationships, and stick close to them, not only with the other person but with yourself too. Sometimes the kindest thing you can do for yourself and your future partner is to show a little patience and constraint. 4. There should be something said for having a healthy amount of skepticism towards the new individuals you are welcoming into your life. As you grow older and more established into your life there are certain risks when it comes to creating new relationships, which the majority of us no longer feel comfortable taking–and rightfully so. Setting clear boundaries upfront helps to establish what lines can and can not be crossed in order to continue moving the relationship forward, at whatever pace is beneficial for both parties. Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , Li nkedIn , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Daphney! Daphney Poyser, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Daphney Poyser is the founder and CEO of Fern Connections, a LGBTQIA+ Matchmaking and Coaching company. After noticing a lack of diversity within the world of same-sex specific dating services, Poyser sought out to create her own company founded on the principles of greater gender, sexual, and romantic inclusivity. Fern Connections was started in 2020 and now has headquarters in Texas and Georgia; the company services individuals nationwide within the United States.

Written by: Jen Landry, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Regaining the strength in your core, which includes more than just your abdominals, can be the difference in a successful postpartum journey and lifelong health. Often in pregnancy our hormones, our ligaments and joints, and our posture shift and change as we adjust to the growing weight of the baby. These changes often stick around postpartum. These changes occur mostly around your core. The core includes your diaphragm, abdominal wall, back muscles, and your pelvic floor. When one of these parts is out of whack, your whole system is too. Your pelvis changes position to best support your body and the baby, your abs stretch out, your diaphragm and pelvic floor cannot go through full ranges of motion anymore and muscles become weak or tight that were not weak or tight before. The Glute Max is a major muscle in the body and it helps with daily activities like sitting and standing with control, walking and running. You might find that during pregnancy and after the baby arrives, you are squeezing (or clenching)your glutes extra. By doing this you are creating a posterior pelvic tilt (think a bowl spilling out the back), and eliminating the curve in your lower back. This can lead to back pain and make it look like you have a flat butt! Due to the fact that the glute muscles are so large, they can play a huge role in truck stabilization and strength. Often, by tapping into your glutes again postpartum, you gain better access to other areas of the body and immediately free up any postural issues. It is going to be extremely important to learn to lengthen and shorten the glutes through a full range of motion again. If you are someone who is clenching, then you are probably not lengthening all way doing things like loading or unloading the dishwasher, washing your hands, changing a diaper, and other such daily activities. Your glutes can be lazy and let the rest of your body do the work. Take a bicep curl for example, as you bring the weight up you are shortening/contracting and as you lower the weight with control, you are lengthening the bicep. If you never lengthen the bicep, the weight will never lower or if you let the weight just drop rather than controlling it, you could wind up very hurt. If you are not lengthening the glutes when you move and need to, then you are using the hamstrings and lower back too much. Leading to possible pain and issues in those muscles. If you are someone who had a diastasis recti or maybe just struggling to find the strength in your abs again, then it might be important to find the glutes again first. When you can stop clenching, start lengthening, and really find strength again, then your pelvis can be better positioned. This positioning then allows for more access to your abs. By having support from the glutes and the pelvis in a neutral position, then the abs can find the freedom to do their job and work. When your glutes and abs are stronger and more supportive of the pelvis, then your lower back does not have to work as hard. The muscles that might be tight and lead to back pain can relax and ease up. Ultimately leading to less back pain. Then all of this success works up the chain. Better glutes, ab, and back muscles lead to great posture and less shoulder or upper back tension. Ultimately there are going to be many reasons someone might have issues or symptoms after having a baby. However, I have found, that after working with many clients and experiencing my own postpartum back pain, fixing the issues in your glutes is a great first step. Teach those glutes to let go, lengthen, and strengthen again after having a baby and watch the magic happen! Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Jen! Jen Landry, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Jen Landry is a leader in functional fitness. She specializes in pregnant, postpartum, and everyday women. As a mother of two little girls and two pregnancies that left Jen feeling weak, broken, and in need of answers, she discovered the Pregnancy and Postpartum Corrective Exercise Certification. Obtaining this certification changed the way Jen looked at pregnancy and postpartum fitness as well as female health in general. It ignited a fire to help as many women as possible, so they could avoid what Jen experienced. She is the CEO and Owner of Moms Fit Life. Her Mission: Teach Moms they can trust their bodies again and rock mom life with confidence!

Written by: Vivien Hudson, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Communication is something all of us do every day. Once you reach a certain age, you might assume you’re pretty good at it right? Effective communication is not always easy and it’s a skill that requires ongoing practice and improvement. Communication (or lack thereof) is often the root cause of our frustrations, both in work and family life. Communication is something that happens continuously throughout our day and includes the self-talk that goes on in our own minds, as well as the conversations we have with others. When we communicate well, we improve our self-awareness and the quality of our relationships. Effective communication allows us to assert our boundaries, express our needs, and connect with ourselves and others. However, when communication breakdowns occur, we may be tempted to blame others, become upset or angry, or speak about others in a condescending manner. You know you have done this, maybe even as recently as today. By focusing on improving our communication skills, we can learn to navigate our relationship challenges. Here are four questions to ask ourselves that can improve communication both at work and at home. Did I clearly communicate? A participant in one of the classes I recently ran said it best: ‘soon is not a time frame, and few is not a number.’ It is easy for the giver of the information to know what they mean, but the recipient has a lot of poetic license in their interpretation. Does your soon line up with their soon? I have been guilty of not clearly communicating. This can include lacking specifics around expectations of when work or projects will be delivered, not asking enough questions to better understand what others want of me, or not defining what a clean bathroom looks like when it is time for my kids to clean their bathroom. Assumptions are often the medium of where clear communication breaks down. When you are communicating with others, what are you assuming and where could some clarity of expectations or needs be shared. Is their here, your here, or their there, your there? Did you set a clear boundary? Do they have the information they need, and can they safely get support if they get stuck? Sidenote: this is important marital advice as we often expect our partners to know what it is we need or expect and then get annoyed when they seem oblivious. What is it I really want or need? Gaining clarity on what our needs are is a good first step before you open your mouth. In the workplace this can include a conversation with peers or team members to align on what the common goals are and what must be achieved. Teams often breakdown when individuals seek to fulfill their own agenda rather than considering what the team and the organization needs are. A question I often asked myself in my own business was ‘What is the best thing for the business?’ That question gifted me greater clarity on what needed to be done and was also a useful question I could ask when aligning my team. For managers performing one on ones, ask your direct reports – ‘what is it you really want or need and how do you see this working for the business?’ They will appreciate this question and it can help them think about what they can achieve, and what is truly possible. What question can I ask? Questions are a brilliant way to get ourselves and others to think differently. Questions can help people problem-solve for themselves by verbalizing their thoughts. When you speak things out loud with a good listener as a sounding board, it is amazing what challenges can be overcome. Solutions can piece themselves together as you speak them into existence and help get all those thoughts into your head out. The quality of our questions will also come from what mindset we frame them. Questions can easily become a witch hunt for who is responsible if you want to take a judgement point of view. This is never helpful in building relationships with yourself or others. Instead, a solution or learner focus is where we look for underlying causes or assumptions and how they can be remedied. Curiosity is the best quality to use here. A great book by Marilee Adams ‘Change Your Questions, Change Your Life’ is the perfect read to get better at this. Am I approaching this in a positive or negative light? If being curious is a challenge and you have been too hardwired to look at things from the voice of judgment, ask yourself what are you really looking for? Are you looking for someone to blame or shame (this could include yourself – remember self-talk is something you do all day) OR are you looking for a way to make things better, an opportunity for you or others to learn and improve? Effective communication is an essential skill in both personal and professional settings. By using the four questions in this blog post you can build stronger relationships, become better connected to those around you, and resolve conflict. With a little effort and practice, these questions will come to you easily and help you navigate a wide range of situations and relationships more effectively. You will reap the rewards in both your personal and professional life. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Vivien! Vivien Hudson, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Vivien Hudson is a reformed pharmacist who went through her own journey of discovery when she trained as a life coach, moved hemispheres, and achieved her Masters in Business Adversity. This training enlightened her to how much change we can affect in our lives by understanding stress, the stories we tell ourselves, and how we show up in our bodies. Self-awareness, finding purpose, and living authentically are at the heart of effective change and leadership. Vivien combines her experience in health and wellbeing, business ownership, and the challenges she has faced in her own life to bring depth and diversity to her work She is trained as a life and performance ontological coach, brain fitness practitioner, on purpose presenter, speaker, and corporate trainer. Her purpose is instilling courage to help those she touches live a life well-lived.

Written by: Catherine Finger, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Each new year ushers in the opportunity to refresh, recommit, and transform “destructive anxiety into a constructive thoughtfulness for the future.” Faith traditions offer various routes to transformation of the mind, body, and soul. My own Judeo-Christian faith beliefs lead me to a “constructive thoughtfulness” as laid out in Romans 12:1-2, (NASB version) as follows: I urge you therefore, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good, acceptable, and perfect. Transformation begins by examining our day-to-day habits and routines. How is your physical health? How is your nutrition? Are you getting enough rest and relaxation? How is your daily physical movement coming along? If you could take two daily steps to improve your physical vitality in the new year, what would they be? Our physical selves reflect our Creator—we can honor the Divine by treating our bodies with respect and implementing healthful habits. “Presenting ourselves in a manner acceptable to God” can be as simple as beginning your day in prayer and meditation. Inviting God to lead you and asking Him for the strength to live according to His will for you today is a “spiritual service of worship.” God is in the business of connecting, speaking, and leading us if we would but turn to Him with the slightest nod of even the hardest of hearts. Offer yourself to Him as you are—and incline your inner ear to His still, small voice. If you’re willing to stop and listen—you will hear His call to you. James 4:8 (NASB) says: “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.” Try it! Renewing our minds has never been more critical than it is in today’s climate of constant distraction. Develop and reinforce positive mental habits by reading uplifting and challenging content every day—starting with the Bible or other faith-based information that will strengthen your daily journey. Starting each day with a practice of gratitude, prayer, meditation, and reading or listening to something uplifting and thought-provoking can help set you on a positive path for the day. Writing your intentions for the day and then engaging in a quick review at the end of your day reinforces your habits and helps you renew your mind by engaging in new practices as you explore new mental models. Transformation is the result of inner renewal. Renewal is the result of engaging in positive spiritual, mental, and physical health habits and behaviors. How do we know we are on the right path—or how do we know the will of God for our lives? I love the simplicity of the will of God as listed in Romans 12:2 (NASB:) “that which is good, acceptable, and perfect.” Boom! That’s how we prove the will of God. Is the practice in which you are engaging good, acceptable, and perfect? Is the relationship you are considering good, acceptable, and perfect? Are your current habits and practices of day-to-day living good, acceptable, and perfect? For me this is a simple test—if something in my life doesn’t even reach the threshold of “good,” it surely won’t grow into the categories of “acceptable or perfect.” And so, I receive the invitation to change, to renewal, to transformation. I encourage you to be on the lookout for subtle invitations to growth from the Divine as you step out into your own Irresistible Future with Him in 2023. Follow me on Facebook, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Catherine! Catherine Finger, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Award-winning author Catherine Finger contributes to the well-being of others by offering executive, personal, and author coaching services. Throughout her career as a public-school leader, mentoring current and emerging leaders was one of her greatest joys. This experience, coupled with her passion to instill hope for leadership, love, and life led her to launch Loving the Leading, an executive coaching and consulting business in 2020. Her years of successful experience as an educational leader, board member, adjunct professor, award-winning author, law enforcement chaplain and community leader equip her with unique insights and deep intuition on both organizations and individuals. During her educational career

Written by: Tracey Lee Cook, Senior Level Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Podcasts are primarily about the listening experience. People normally listen to podcasts while they go about their busy day, and you want their experience to be as smooth as possible. You want to sound good. You don’t want to send shivers down your listener’s spine. Unless, of course, that’s the effect you’re trying to achieve (horror podcasts, anyone?). Assuming you’ve got a good microphone and pop filter in place, here are the top 5 tips you can follow to sound better on your podcast. 1. Just be natural When you’re starting out, you may find it weird to find yourself talking to a microphone. You may be self-conscious, and your speech may sound stilted and forced. The end result is you’ll sound pretty much like a robot. If you want to avoid sounding like one, then it’s best to just act as natural as possible, like you’re having a conversation with your friends! 2. Talk to one person Another thing you can do to sound better on your podcast is to talk like you’re speaking to only one person. If you’re recording your show all by yourself, then you can pretend that the microphone is your friend. Or you can put up an image of your audience persona right in front of you. You can prop up your phone, tablet or laptop and display a photo of your persona and pretend like you’re having a conversation with him or her! 3. Allow spontaneity Even if you’re following a script, you can still leave some room for spontaneity. You can insert some random ad-libs if they make sense. You can laugh at some funny parts. You can admonish yourself if you find yourself rambling on and on about nothing in particular. You can edit it, of course, but if it helps you sound more human, then I see no harm with leaving those spontaneous parts in! 4. Smile You don’t need to sound so serious on your podcast. People can tell when you’re smiling and when you’re not. Put a mirror on your table and look at yourself when you speak into the microphone. If you catch yourself frowning, pause for a bit, and get that smile back in there! 5. Forget the script Scripts are useful to help organize your podcast content, but sometimes, they can be quite restrictive. You don’t need to totally forget your script, but in some cases, you may need to veer off topic. Just go with the flow. When you go in to edit your audio later on, you can always remove the parts that don’t add any value to your podcast. If you are ready to share your story, the time is now! Take action and take on that driver's seat to catch that expressway to healing and being the leader and achiever that you are. To know more about me and my podcasts, catch me on my website or check out my socials on Instagram, LinkedIn, and Facebook. Read more from Tracey! Tracey Lee Cook, Senior Level Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Tracey Cook is a leader in Brand Storytelling & Podcast Creation. She has unique expertise in helping free-driven entrepreneurs from old beliefs & success blockers by implementing her unique framework of storytelling, speaking, social media & strategy. Tracey has seen her clients increase followers, subscribers, and revenue, to brand their stories & get booked on global podcasts & virtual stages with confidence and authenticity. Working only with people who genuinely want to create a positive impact in the world. Tracey's message is powerful, "Wear your story like a superhero cape & not an anchor!". Tracey's podcast Victim to Victory is a testimony to leveraging your story for passion, purpose & profit.

Brainz Magazine Exclusive Interview Dr Zuzana Winter (BScHons), DClinPsych, CPsychol, is a Lead Clinical Psychologist, Psychotherapist, Consultant, Executive Coach, and Founder of Dr Zuzana. She is currently fulfilling two roles. The first one is in the public sector, running a mental health service in a social care setting. The second role involves running her own consultancy and therapeutic business with a focus around mental health and organisation toxicity which are used as a catalyst for creating lasting change Further activities include volunteering for a charity - acting as a consultant around MH strategy and safeguards From Slovakia to London, how did you end up there? Can you tell us a little bit about yourself and your journey up to today? I was just 20 when I came to the UK in 2000 as a nanny at a time when there was a lot of international buzzes on in London. When I first arrived, in my mind I was coming here for a short break and did not expect that I would make a life here for myself. I spoke English but not very well and I quickly learned that the UK was so different from my country of origin in so many wonderful ways, especially the way people related to one another. That was fascinating to me. I quickly realised that speaking English was not the only important mode of communication and adaptation. Instead, at least for me, it was crucial to observe what was going on around me, to embrace the customs and nuances of this beautiful country and the people in it who came from all around the world. I learned that when I’m pushed into a new environment, you can either sink or swim and I chose to swim without even knowing how or what the ultimate outcome was going to be. But I had this inner compass that was somehow guiding me and in that sense, it was rather easy. I fell in love with this country and what it had to offer. I felt grateful for the plethora of opportunities, the generosity of others around me, and the learning I was undertaking each and every day. In all honesty, coming to the UK has been the making of me as a grown woman who’s learned to appreciate who she is and what she stands for. Having both the UK and more ‘traditional’ European values installed in me has been so enriching to me and has given me an edge I never thought possible. How did you end up becoming a clinical psychologist? The first suggestion for me to become a clinical psychologist came from my friend who said I was a good listener, always made her and others feel heard, seen, and acknowledged, and gave them good advice. My initial reaction was something along the lines of, “No, I’m not doing that! I’m not going to be sitting people down on a coach like Sigmund Freud acting psychoanalysing them from my ivory tower …” But then I reflected on my friend’s suggestion and I thought about my journey thus far and the moments as a child that have always linked my up with psychology .. Like the time when my mum would have had a book lying around the house about emotional intelligence or psychoanalytic stories which always drew my curiosity and as a child I would spend hours reading about the human mind and human experience. Then I thought about my artistic side and thirst for exploration and interest in others’ real-life stories, and my compassion towards others and passion to make a difference. So I thought, “Why not …, there must be something in this and the only way to find out is if I follow this path and see what comes out of this”. So there was this sense of taking a risk, whilst being true to myself and embracing the unknown in knowledge and faith that all will be alright. And boy, what an enriching, energising, and challenging journey this has been so far (and the journey is still ongoing which is so exciting). For me being a clinical psychologist is less about the label itself, although for sure it brings a certain amount of credentials and signals about one’s expertise with it. For me, it’s more about what I bring to the table. I am not here to blindly tell somebody what they need to do. I see myself as a collaborator, an agent of change who makes effort to expose what needs to be spoken about in a compassionate, yet focused, down-to-earth way in order to create a well-deserved change. This is both in terms of my personal evolution as a human being who’s constantly learning, re-evaluating, and progressing. Secondly, this is about me giving back to others and helping others along the way to make a change that is meaningful to them. As a clinical psychologist, I am so privileged as I get to contribute to other people’s lives and be enriched by their experiences on a daily basis. In that way, I am living my dream. After having seen more than 30,000 cases over the last 15 years, what have you learned about the human being? In my experience of working with people from all walks of life and different levels of distress and circumstances, I’ve always been struck by one thing. Making a change that is needed is one of the hardest things to do … Our unconscious mind will do whatever it takes to create an environment that is comfortable to us and that spares us as much psychological pain and uncomfortableness as possible, selling us the fantasy of unsafe certainty that in the long run works against us rather than for us, creating barriers between what we deserve and need, ultimately impoverishing our human experience. This is the ‘resistance to change’ as some would call it. This is part of my role that I really enjoy, coming alongside the individual in order for them to face their truths and embrace the process of change for their benefit, not mine, in order to get the most out of their experience. This process unfolds in different contexts from individual therapeutic cases I’ve seen to larger-scale systems, including families and corporate settings. I have dealt with quite a variety of cases most of which were complex and difficult to handle (e.g. rape, domestic violence, murders, child abuse, personality disorders, psychosis, suicidality, etc). When it comes to human beings, I deal with the full spectrum of narcissism. For some of the cases, the reports I produced were used in the context of legal proceedings or other major decision-making platforms. The stakes have been high in many cases because my assessments, therapeutic interventions, and recommendations would have impacted significantly the life of a patient. Each recommendation must be backed up by a full report I need to produce. This means I have had to produce numerous reports weekly. This is quite an intense job because not only it is demanding, but also somewhat I hold life or destiny in my hands. While I provide one-to-one therapy to countless numbers of clients, I also oversee 100+ cases across a team of therapists weekly as a lead clinical psychologist. I make judgement calls on what should happen next and consult on how the therapists and other professionals can do their job better. Overall, what I have learned is that challenges, whether these are personal challenges around mental health or larger scale problems, such as organisational toxicity and conflict are actually extremely important and should be embraced because they offer a glimpse into what could be possible if we were brave enough and committed enough to look in rather than turning away. These trigger points are a catalyst for change. They point directly at those areas that are deserving of our attention in order to make changes in the right direction to create a new, improved reality and state of thriving rather than just existing. This applies across the spectrum from individual to organisational systems. In terms of large corporations, I have empathy for the complexity of what is at stake here. It can be difficult to have a frank look at what is and what isn’t working well. Particularly, when there are signals of toxicity … Who’d want to put their hand up and say, “Hey, my name is so and so and I’m a CEO of a toxic organisation”. Understandably, we tend to plaster over these cracks with various initiatives from spending time on training and personal development to team away days. But we often miss the inevitable, which is the vital opportunity for understanding these trigger points and their roots in order to allow for a true transformation and evolution which will ultimately deliver benefits for all both in terms of monetary gains and well-being. Have you seen any new emerging patterns in terms of what employees face in the office, throughout your cases? Employees are human beings and they are increasingly aware of what kind of environments are right for them. Apart from the ever-increasing focus on employees’ personal well-being, there is also the focus on how they want and deserve to be treated. This is where the spotlight on narcissism and toxic leadership comes into play and many of my clients talk about it quite explicitly. They share with me their first-hand experiences of being on a receiving end of a narcissistic employer or a work colleague, or they talk about a toxic work culture. Of course, these are not new phenomena. But in the post-pandemic world with the ever-increasing speed of information exchange, learning, competition, and focus on well-being, the quality of leadership has never been more important. Furthermore, many employees are actually millennials and generation Z who are expecting quick results with more focus on living the best life right here, right now rather than being married to a job for life, loyally waiting for things to change in the future. Narcissism and toxicity in the workplace then become a very risky strategy with hugely devastating effects at all levels. In terms of employees, we are talking about extreme levels of stress, poor physical and mental health, reduced productivity and collaboration, and ultimately large staff attrition rates. From the employer's point of view, we are talking about the loss of professional reputation, innovation, and ultimately loss of earnings at the expense of competitors edging ahead. To me, being able to appreciate what narcissism brings to a workplace and understanding what talents a person with narcissistic traits brings to a workplace are crucial. This is not to say that narcissism is a welcome state of being. Rather to me, if I look at narcissism as something that has at some point in time been celebrated and has been extremely important to an organisation, I can then collaborate with the decision makers around using these talents differently without excess and spreading of toxicity. In another way, we are not all marathon runners, right? We all come with our own unique set of skills. Trying to make us all marathon runners would be a wasted effort. Instead, it’s about discovering and celebrating what the employee's skill set is at this point in time and combining it with other’s unique contributions to make a thriving workplace. Through my varied clinical experience with different populations with complex presentations, including personality disorders I have developed an approach to therapy that aims to deliver quick results within months and weeks rather than years. This approach is also highly applicable in the corporate sector. How did you develop your therapeutic style? For me, developing my style is a combination of being a scientific practitioner, gaining and rehearsing expert therapeutic skills, evaluating evidence, and applying what I gather in practice whilst also being true to myself as an individual and human being. I spent 1000s of hours in training, personal therapy, supervision, developing specific skills, and then scientifically practicing these with 1000s of clients and also on myself. I’ve always been very creative with a big imagination and spent my childhood and teenage years practicing fine arts. I love this part of my skillset and personality as it continues to drive my curiosity in my clinical work. It allows me to be flexible, open-minded and see things from many different vantage points. This is a key aspect of my strong problem-solving skills, where I can find shortcuts and creative solutions to very complex problems, oftentimes yielding quick results. I combine these skills with my personal convictions and common sense approach. I believe in collaboration rather than dictatorship. This means, genuinely seeing the other side of the coin of another individual rather than forcing my own truth and expertise on somebody. Having said that, I am rather plain speaking and active in my approach, saying what needs to be said but with an essential ingredient of compassion, always checking in with myself about my motivation. As said above, we as human beings are driven to avoid suffering. This includes avoiding taking steps toward our goals even if we know not doing so is a form of self-sabotage. My role in therapy, coaching, and consultancy is to keep us to the task at hand with compassion and clarity of purpose so that it is not me who’s driving the process but rather the client is in a driving seat with me by their side. A crucial part of my therapeutic offer is the use of all the information at our disposal from body, mind, and intellect. The role of emotions and emotional intelligence is particularly crucial here as it’s an essential part of any executive decision-making, after all, emotions oftentimes kickstart the process that determines our decisions. I oftentimes receive a remark from my clients that they don’t use their emotions; in fact, they see the use of emotions as somehow weak or irrelevant as they use their intellect and pride themselves on being rational. In my clinical, research, and personal experience, the avoidance of emotions is a huge misunderstanding as it robs one of being able to make the most educated decision possible and in that sense, the logic of not using emotions goes against any person who wants to use logic and facts. Did you feel pulled into the corporate world by your clients and patients? Absolutely, this is something that has organically become a focus of my work, with me providing more and more collaboration to corporate clients, bringing in my expertise to resolve complex dynamics and problems in organisations in order to turn negatives into positives and help organisations thrive rather than survive. This is a natural calling for me because of the overlap between what individual clients and patients experience and what organisations and those working in the experience. After all, organisations are made up of human beings … More specifically though, there’s been a paradigm shift both in the experiences of individual clients and the corporate sector as a whole towards well-being and away from dysfunctionality, narcissism, and workplace toxicity. There is growing awareness that companies can achieve much more without sticking with the old-fashioned ways of managing others, including narcissistic leadership styles. Long gone are days with a company’s know-how and its working practices were kept behind closed doors and where arguments such as “this is a cut-through environment and if you don’t like it, find another job” would actually be taken seriously. These days, there is a lot at stake for large corporations which are barely surviving in an increasingly fast-paced environment where know-how flows so easily and education is at the touch of a button for literally everybody. Moving onto another job or starting your own entrepreneurship is just a click away. Why is the corporate world a natural fit for you? Some of it flows from what I’ve already said. In the post-covid work era, large corporations now need to maximise the well-being of their employees in order to retain them and this means minimising toxicity at work. Well-being starts with the human being which affects the group, which impacts the leader and the corporate culture and foundations, and vice versa. And addressing toxicity is what I’ve been doing on a daily basis with my clients and patients for more than 15 years. This need to minimise toxicity requires a new type of profile when it comes to change management because if done wrong, things can go terribly wrong, especially where the UK corporate labour world has become more of a litigation minefield. This cannot be left to chance or trial and error. Corporations need proven strategies to minimise toxicity. And this is where my long-standing experience in this field comes in. All the therapeutic strategies I implemented for all these years have already been tested day in and day out. I know what works and what doesn’t for each of my clients. For corporations, this is invaluable because it saves time and importantly it spares the company from making costly errors. On the other end, I have had increasing referrals from clients looking to help them handle toxicity at work and looking to quit their jobs. I have seen how employees have grown less tolerant of working in a toxic environment and especially working for a narcissistic manager or culture. Overall, I am at the forefront of this labor attrition issue from an employee perspective. For more info, follow Dr Zuzana on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, and visit her website!

Written by: Dannie De Novo, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Well, it’s here—a new year. After the last two years, 2023 is highly anticipated in both a good way and in a not-so-good way. The key to starting off the year on the right foot, and continuing throughout the year in a good headspace, is to hold true to the practice of a few good mood rituals. There are a few ways that I keep my good mood throughout the day, week, month, year, etc. They are simple ideas that once adopted as habits make life that much easier, and we could all use a little bit of easy right now (especially when it comes to our mood and happiness). The main point here is to keep it easy on yourself. Once you start stressing over these little practices, they no longer work their magic. Be patient. Take deep breaths. Enjoy the process of being a happy being! 1. Something that makes you feel good Let’s start off really easy. Hopefully, it is easy for you to think of something that makes you feel good—something loving and productive, of course. I love nature. When I am in nature, I feel amazing! I feel good mental, physically, and spiritually. So, I make myself spend time outdoors every single day—no matter the weather. Typically, I either walk or hike during the day with my dog Cali, but if time won’t allow for it, I simply sit outside, touch something green, and listen to what nature has to offer. What makes you feel good? Start incorporating those things into your day. Pick sacred good mood rituals that make you feel complete and like a better version of yourself. Journaling, reading, affirmations, spending time with pets, spending time with loved ones, laughing, and exercise are all great ways to switch from feeling down or anxious to feeling upbeat and relaxed. Make these activities daily practices and they will help contribute to an overall good mood. 2. Meditation for a good mood The incredibly awesome part about meditation is the more frequently you practice meditation, the more the effects sustain themselves throughout your day and throughout your life. Daily meditation practice equals daily sustained good mood. Meditation is the gift that keeps on giving. Here is the best part. You don’t have to devote more than a few minutes each day to meditation, and you don’t have to be perfect in your practice. Start out slow and make it easy to start. Begin with just 5 minutes each day. Keep it simple. Focus on your breath. Focus on a mantra or affirmation. Focus on the quiet. What your meditation practice really needs to be is meaningful for you. You simply want to feel more connected to your heart. Remember, with meaning and connectedness, comes greater happiness and fulfillment. 3. Gratitude People get stuck when it comes to gratitude—as if it is this almighty feeling that you can only tap into under the most rare and amazing of circumstances. But we’re all about the easy right now, so let’s break it down. The truth is that gratitude is simply feeling or showing appreciation toward someone or something. So, a gratitude practice is a daily commitment to focusing your energy and thoughts on what you appreciate. Gratitude shifts our thinking to the present moment, and it allows us to celebrate what we have now and what we have accomplished. It refocuses our energy on our dreams and goals and on love instead of the chaos around us. Appreciate the sight of a beautiful tree or appreciate the smell of that first cup of coffee each morning. Give the good things in your life a little extra positive attention and see how the universe brings more goodness to you. 4. Remind yourself of your why If you don’t remind yourself each and every day why you made the decision to seek and hold onto your good mood, you won’t keep pursuing it. Remind yourself often of why you made the decision to live your life full of happiness. When I wake up each morning, the first things I see are pictures of my daughter, and next to her photos is a little sign that reads, “When you feel like quitting, remember why you started.” Look, this human thing is hard sometimes. The world can be less than kind and supportive. Your happiness rests solely in your hands, so you need to learn how to support yourself in your happiness and beyond. What really matters to you? Why is it essential that you live each day feeling good? For me, it’s all about my daughter. I can’t stand the thought of her living an unhappy life, and so, each day I recommit to being the mother who shows my daughter how to live a happy life. My daughter’s future is enough to motivate me each morning to continue the pursuit of happiness. 5. Be brave I firmly believe that courage is the gateway to your good mood and, ultimately, to your ideal life. You have the amazing ability to form the picture of any life you want and, by so imagining it, then live the life you desire. But you must have the courage to act on those dreams. Otherwise, you know on some level you are just kidding yourself. Okay, so maybe this one isn’t the easiest ritual to begin, but you can start small. Begin with a little self-forgiveness. Then, stop listening to the opinions of others. Instead, start doing some little things that make you happy regardless of what others have to say about it. Remember, when your mood is dark and small, so is your world. But 2023 isn’t about playing it small, and neither are you. You deserve to be happy. So, make the decision to be happy and then go out there and live happy! Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Dannie De Novo, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Dannie De Novo is a happiness coach and international bestselling author. After having battled depression and anxiety for most of her early life, Dannie set out on a course to learn what true happiness was for her and for the sake of her baby girl. Now, Dannie regularly appears on ABC, Fox, NBC, and CBS TV news and talk shows as an expert on creating happiness, combating loneliness and depression, and managing anxiety. For more about Dannie De Novo, visit www.DannieDeNovo.com.

Written by: Laura Di Franco, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. “What do you think about... “ I cut myself off and paused. Why am I asking someone else what they think when I already know how I feel, and the feelings are strong and clear? Self-doubt, fear, second-guessing: That self-sabotaging BS has no room in my 2023 agenda. Let’s do something different. Let’s move to another level of badassery in the mindset and manifestation department this year. Let’s trust ourselves and our intuition, inner wisdom, and power at a whole other level. Let’s do that to the point that when we catch ourselves asking the outside world for their opinion, we pause and are very careful about what and how we ask. Asking for feedback the smarter way The truth is, if you ask for feedback, you’ll get it. You’ll get so much of it you’ll be completely overwhelmed. When you ask a person or group of people what they think, you’ll get every end of the spectrum of possible opinions on something. And you’ll move back to that horrible feeling of confusion and overwhelm you started with—not helpful. What should I do now? I’ll tell you what you should do; practice honing your intuition. Stop doubting what you feel. Stop underestimating your power to tap into what’s good for your soul, life, or business. You can tap into that right this moment and every moment you want to. Perfect clarity is always there for the taking. “The fact that you asked the question probably means you already know the answer.” I spoke those words during a Zoom the other day and was really talking to myself. My healer friend asked for the group’s opinion about something, but it was easy to hear her self-doubt in the question. Isn’t it always easy to hear it in someone else? That’s when I had a clue about my dilemma. The second I ask for the opinion means I already know the answer. Most of the time, my thoughts of confusion, overwhelm, or “I don’t know what to do” mean the situation is a ‘no’ because the confusion gives it away. When things are clear and awesome ‘yes’ inside me, there are no questions, no confusion, and I don’t need anyone else’s opinion. BAM. Gosh, I love it when I have the secrets of the Universe. Now, it’s a matter of remembering in the moment. It’s a matter of waking up and using that awareness to understand that self-doubt and second-guessing are clues. We just have to remember. The strategic way to ask for opinions It’s smart to ask for opinions and feedback when you’re creating something new. My business partners love doing polls and talking about their AB testing and due diligence. There’s only one problem. They aren’t asking their ideal clients—they’re asking everybody. Just like niching for your perfect ideal client is important when you write your sales copy, it’s just as important (if not more) when you’re polling people for an opinion on what you’re creating. Be careful about who you’re asking. And be careful about how you ask, making sure you’re being specific enough about your request. Either that, or you’ll have to be careful what you wish for in terms of feedback because you’ll get so much of it and so many different and completely opposite opinions you’ll be right back to where you started: confused. The strategic way to ask for opinions is to come to a solid conclusion based on your own inner guide and then ask a very curated group of perfect ideal clients (people who’ve purchased your offers before and love them) what they think. Do that, and you’ll have important opinions you can base some of your decisions on. Taking your power back I noticed that I felt less empowered when I gave a lot of weight to someone else’s opinion. I literally felt weaker and less centered or grounded. That happens when you stop trusting your gut, intuition, and inner wisdom. The problem with relying on someone else (even a trusted inner circle) for their opinion is that you move further away from your own center, the core soul GPS system that contains the directions for everything you want and need to make your life’s dreams come true. Take your power back. Connect with your badass self this year. Practice listening to what she/he/they has to say. Amp up your meditation practice. Hire a breathwork teacher. Do some slow-flow yoga. Get back into your body-mind and connect with the most powerful source you have for every single decision you’re trying to make: yourself. Cheers for the most powerful year ever! Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, Twitter, YouTube or visit my website for more info! Read more from Laura! Laura Di Franco, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Laura Di Franco, CEO of Brave Healer Productions, an award-winning publisher for holistic health and wellness professionals. She has 30 years of expertise in holistic physical therapy, 14 years of training in the martial arts, and her company has published over 50 Amazon bestselling books. She's a spoken-word poet, lover of dark chocolate, and has a contagious passion for helping you share brave words that build your business. BraveHealer.com

Written by: Ellen Kocher, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Every year at the beginning of January, clients come to me with resolutions around unrealistic diets, exercise, sleep routines, and commitments to connect more with people that are important to them. These intentions are wonderful but don’t work. Studies show that only about 46% of people who make New Year’s resolutions are successful. I believe that by “leaving you to your own devices” to choose from my 10 suggestions below, you can set realistic well-being goals for 2023. Why? We are spending an unprecedented amount of time in front of our devices and our boundaries of home, work, family, and school are all blurred because everything is happening simultaneously. So, what better place to start? What’s a Device? The Oxford language dictionary reveals two definitions for the word “Device”. Device definition No.1 A thing made or adapted for a particular purpose, especially a piece of mechanical or electronic equipment. Example: “Computer devices are a part of our everyday lives.” Device definition No.2 A plan, method, or trick with a particular aim. Example: “Resolutions are traditional devices to kick off a new year » This year, no more focusing on resolutions around unrealistic diets, more exercise, sleep routines, and commitments to connect more with people that are important to us. This year, I “leave you to your own devices” to choose from the suggestions below help you reach your realistic well-being goals for 2023. 10 New Devices for 2023 1. Measure how much time you spend online. Why? You tend to underestimate it. Recent research shows that, globally, the average time spent on the internet per person was 6 hours and 37 minutes per day. That’s one-quarter of our lives. If we remove sleep, that’s about half of our waking time. To manage anything, we need to measure it. Start by measuring your screen time (check your device settings) to know where you stand. Then, I leave you to your own devices to decide what you do about that. 2. Communicate how and when you are available to others. Why? Others will adjust to your boundaries if you are clear. The current abundance of technology in daily life creates opportunities for interruptions in human interactions, called « technoference” or « phubbing ». Recent research suggests that if individuals perceive technology use as phubbing, these perceptions negatively affect their relationships and mood. By communicating clear boundaries, we can manage most interferences. Start by determining how you can communicate your availability (out-of-office messages, a no phone-at-the-table policy, etc.). Then, I leave you to your own devices to do it and observe its benefits. 3. Keep your phone silent and away when talking to people. Why? There’s nothing more valuable than your 100% undivided attention. Rather than promising to spend more time with people in 2023, try committing to fewer phone distractions. According to Sherry Turkle, author of the book Reclaiming Conversation, with phone distractions, we lose our ability to have deeper, more spontaneous conversations with others, changing the nature of our social interactions in alarming ways. Silencing and removing your phone are the first steps to deeper relationships. Try it. Then, I leave you to your own devices to observe how it feels. 4. Create tech-free zones at home or work. Why? Not seeing devices reduces pressure on willpower and temptation and keeps you less distracted. Whether you are aiming to eat, exercise or sleep better in 2023, undistracted, tech-free zones can influence them all. They can: contribute to healthier social behavior and positive life outcomes for kids, improve cognitive functioning, mental health, and obesity, and give us an opportunity to relax or move our bodies more. We check our phones nearly 300 times a day and creating tech-free zones is a first step to accessing freedom and greater well-being. Try it at home or at work. Then, I leave you to your own devices to decide what you do with your tech-free time. 5. Incorporate physical breaks into your tech routine. Why? Even quick exercise can boost blood flow, oxygen, and brain chemicals. Physical breaks can help prevent obesity and health, free up time for more exercise, and improve sleep. Try to a physical break every hour to move your body for at least 5 minutes. Then, I leave you to your own devices to observe how this makes you feel about your food choices, exercise, and sleep. 6. Take a pause. Why? Any non-stop behavior puts you at risk for burnout. Breaking your autopilot tech-driven rhythm restores your normal human rhythm. Start by building a few small open stretches of time into your day. Try not eating in front of your computer or with your phone in your hand, or not replying immediately to messages or emails. Observe how these short breaks make a difference. Then, I leave you to your own devices to decide whether you feel the beneficial reset. 7. Clean up your smartphone. Why? You become more focused and minimize decision making which helps your brain to perform better. Information overload reduces our capacity to function effectively, which can lead to poor or impossible decision-making, analysis paralysis, and burnout. Try disabling notifications, deleting apps, silencing, or even leaving your phone behind. Then, I leave you to your own devices to observe how your decision-making and brain power change. 8. Practice staying present, completely undistracted, for 15 minutes each day. Why? Anything requiring full presence will help build attention and concentration, reduce stress, enhance senses, and strengthen self-control, memory, and decision-making. Try meditation, mindfulness, relaxation, or any undistracted concentration activity. Then, I leave you to your own devices to use a few minutes to observe how you feel – scanning from head to toe. 9. Go (or look!) outside! Attention Restoration Theory claims that exposure to natural environments can be associated with mental health benefits and the restoration of human attention. Even a short look at a natural landscape can help your brain recharge, reduce stress and send positive emotions soaring. So, start by observing how much nature you already have in your day, then aim for at least 20 minutes to boost your well-being. Then, I leave you to your own devices to observe and reap the benefits. 10. Write it down (with a pen). Why? The act of writing down resolutions can improve one’s success rate in achieving them long-term by 42%. Writing gives you clarity, a constant reminder, and is the “action” that just might help you go from knowing to doing. Maybe your real new device for 2023 is simply a new pen! My job as a coach is to leave you to your own devices and to support you in choosing how you will go from going from knowing what to do to actually doing it. This January, I challenge you to make it your new device to choose from the 10 suggestions above, buy a new pen and maybe even include some mandatory disconnects for yourself, your families, and your teams. Remember “Sometimes you have to disconnect to stay connected...” — Regina Brett Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read More from Ellen! Ellen Kocher, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Ellen Kocher is an Economist and Certified Workplace Wellness Consultant who holds a master’s degree in Health & Wellness Coaching. Following 10 years as an Executive in Finance, Ellen made some major lifestyles change and has dedicated the past 20+ years to walking her talk through workplace wellbeing, promoting a holistic approach to eating, physical activity, health, resilience, and self-care. Ellen has coached hundreds of individuals and groups in dozens of organizations to make sustainable lifestyle changes empowering them to go from knowing what to do to actually doing it! Most recently Ellen’s work focuses on the 50+ demographic.

Written by: JL Keez, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. The darkness of night greets again. The two am pull toward an entity lurking in the day time shadows emerges once more to taunt. Pacing the yard, calling out for release from this tormentor, the all too familiar depth of despair grips. The mind searches for ways to stop this invasion. None is found. Sitting against the wall of the shed, head in hands, tears falling, the ‘Why’ echoes from within. Eventually, sleep takes over. As the sun appears, the nightly visitor leaves, normality returns. But the mind, the body knows that this unwelcome emotion simply takes rest for now; suicidal depression is its name. Where the pull of suicide exists in one's life the question screaming to be answered can remain a mystery. Has the body grown too tired to nurture, and has the soul suffered an unresolved trauma? My life was lived in the grip of this entity for many long years. Without understanding, I sourced solutions suggested by well meaning family and friends. The traditional methods of medication and rest gave little comfort. Searching for an ‘out’ found me standing on the doorstep of a psychologist whose life had once been inhabited by this emotion. At last, the clues, the answers, and the solutions showed themselves. Exploring my story, life events, and most importantly relationship connections would provide the path of healing required for this nightly invader to find its demise. A life of childhood control via the family culture where hitting and yelling instilled deep fear was examined. The resulting thought patterns adopted explained the behaviours I exhibited. The emotional load gave meaning to a downfall into an eating disorder followed by the development of associated mental illnesses. The discovery of sexual abuse hidden by those who knew lined my life deteriorating from the strong athlete I was to the frail withdrawn shell I had become. Identifying an exhaustive list of contributing life events, my mental status found understanding, at last. The task at hand – to eliminate their hold, set suicidal depression packing and free my soul to live. I was to learn this was no easy task to undertake. With the suggestion of communing with suicidal depression when ‘it’ appears was met with, “You must be kidding!” Yet here I was, two am in the morning doing exactly that! Emotionally spent, wishing to end a life of pain in any way possible, I fought to pull toward the kitchen where overdosing was the attraction. Slowly I asked the questions requiring answers. In the quiet, responses came. The answers shared provided the information needed to take to my psychologist. Together we wrote a story of deep sorrow born from the words of blame assigned me as the abuse was inflicted. The responsibility handed to me had become a strain held within my brain and felt within my body. The heaviness of ‘fault’ of ‘the abuser will be killed’ of ‘no one will like you’ had determined the script running my life from those damning moments forward. Without acknowledgement or resolution when a child, the truths taught became my guide for life. The eating disorder reflected the desire for acceptance. Each of the presenting mental illnesses reflected a different aspect of the childhood upbringing and abuse and how I was interpreting it. My life was the result of messages given as to how life apparently works. Twisting my mind into confusion the development of suicidal depression was inevitable. Designing a new script of truth where responsibility was returned to their owners, where ‘how life really works’ replaced the false ideals my childhood had taught me was written. Gradually I freed myself. Gradually suicidal depression had played its role in my healing. Gradually the nightly episodes visited less often. In time, realising ‘it’ no longer had purpose, suicidal depression left. I guess it found the bin it now belonged to! Finding the purpose, enduring the pain, asking the questions, discovering the clues to form solutions was the path I followed with the guidance of the one whose life had once been invaded by this same entity. This was the support necessary for me to heal this part of my life where mental illness was the outcome of a life lived in fear. For this is where fear takes you – to the depths of suffering where the only way out is through. Sitting here today I give genuine thanks to suicidal depression for showing me the way, and for returning me to me. Not all who suffer are as fortunate to find their healing. To those who do not, I understand the choice to leave. There is no judgement, only the purest of love and understanding. The lesson society needs to hear is one of prevention. For me, prevention must be in the form of education where the lines of the curriculum speak of unconditional love and acceptance. Where the lines of curriculum clearly outline, and demonstrate, the impact of trauma. Where the lines of the curriculum provide step-by-step processes for relating through kindness. Where the lines of the curriculum are influenced by those who have suffered, for this is the wisdom we are able to provide. The removal of the deadly practices criticism, blame, complaining, nagging, threatening, punishing and bribing from relationship connections to me is a must. The inclusion of the caring practices of unconditional support, encouragement, listening, accepting, trusting, respecting and negotiating to me is a must. This is the teaching of Dr. William Glasser, founder of Reality Therapy. This was the therapy undertaken with the guidance of my psychologist. May I encourage readers to research this approach? The next step – is for society to hear these words, listen with intent and adopt the guidelines suggested. May unconditional love line our relationships and kindness be the platform adopted in all connections made. May the framework for such be constructed using the caring practices outlined above. I dedicate this article to tWitch a beautiful soul who did not find his way through. I understand his decision. It was once mine. In gratitude I thank the doctrines of Reality Therapy for lifting me out. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from JL! JL Keez, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine J.L Keez survived a nine-year struggle with anorexia nervosa. She endured years of mental illness, including suicidal depression, OCD and depersonalisation. Today, she is the Director of JL Keez Anorexia Unlocked, a passionate speaker, author and Thought Leader in her field. In her role as a Reality Therapy Coach and influential teacher she empowers others to heal their lives through delivering the understanding required to do so.

Written by: Paul A Cicchini, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Over the past year, I’ve urged you to be ethical, encouraged you to push past feeling like an imposter, cheered you on as you embraced positivity like Ted Lasso, and even coached you on how to survive a bad boss. One of the final pieces of advice I want to leave you with is how to spot and deal with Energy Vampires. What’s an Energy Vampire, you say? Well, there are many definitions out there and there are several people credited with coining the term or its synonyms such as Emotional Vampire (A. Bernstein) or Psychic Vampire (D. Fortune). In any case, my own interpretation is that this type of “Vampire” is a person in your life that sucks all of the positive energy out of your being. You know how gloomy weather, or a minor illness can bring down your entire day? People can do that, too. Search your social milieu. You know somebody like that, don’t you? These people can appear in your world in many ways: a supervisor (which we touched upon in my Bad Bosses article), a co-worker, a customer, a friend, or (in the worst case) a family member. How do these people siphon the positivity out of you? There are several ways. It can be as simple as them being the constant “Debbie Downer” at work—the one who finds the negative aspect of every situation or story. Say you’re excited about a cool new restaurant on the upper east side that you discovered and can’t wait to share with your coworkers. The Energy Vampire will interrupt your story with, “Oh, I know that restaurant. My cousin went there last month, and he said the wait staff was terrible.” There are also other, more complex, and more sinister types of Energy Vampires. You may find yourself in a meeting at work and you come up with yet another particularly brilliant idea, and your immediate supervisor for the umpteenth time tries his damnedest to shoot holes in your plan. After the meeting, you wonder, does he do this out of jealousy, or does he do it because he is an undiagnosed sadist? One of the more exasperating situations is when the Vampire happens to be your client. These folks make you want to re-think the old adage, “The customer is always right.” When I owned a video production company, I once had a wedding customer who despite countless revisions refused to acknowledge their satisfaction with their final tape (yes, it was that long ago-before the fully digital age). Every time I fixed an issue that they had with the video, they found fault with something else. It soon became clear that they were trying to wear me down so that I would cave and give them their wedding package for free just to get them to stop bothering me. The whole experience compelled me to hire a lawyer to craft a “jerk-proof” service contract. Surprisingly, some of the worst kinds of Energy Vampires could be some of your dearest friends or family. Do you have someone close to you that frequently calls you to relate a story and no matter how you react to their situation, it’s the wrong thing to say? If you play devil’s advocate, they get angry with you. If you offer advice as to what to do next, they argue why it won’t work. If you tell them they are one hundred percent in the right, they dismiss you as lacking objectivity and being biased in their favor. You can’t seem to win with these people, and they suck the good mood right out of you. Before we tackle the solution to Energy Vampires, let’s recap their personality traits. Why do these people bring such negativity? Because they thrive on drama. It’s like an addiction to them. They love being the martyr. Why do they attack others or even you? Because they never hold themselves accountable. Every terrible thing in their lives is somebody else’s fault. Why do they persist in their ways, even though they lose friendships and damage family ties? Because, like a compulsive gambler glued to a Vegas slot machine, they get enough of a payout to forget about their losses. When they act like this, they frequently succeed because they get their way through guilt and intimidation, so they keep on doing it. Often, it morphs into just another form of bullying similar to the types I mentioned in my Conflict Resolution article. What to do about these energy thieves? Well, some people say that you should just cut them out of your life, but that’s not often practical or even possible. That being said, there’s nothing wrong with setting a few boundaries. In the case of the drama-addicted friend, tell them that their situation seems so tricky that you are reluctant to give advice and perhaps they need to seek out professional help. I’m kind of an empath. I’m overly in-tune with other people’s emotions. It’s the occupational hazard of being a psychologist. As such, I can be particularly susceptible to energy vampires and drama queens/kings. The best way to fight that is to convey less sympathy. It’s like air to an Energy Vampire. If you seem indifferent, they may move on to someone else. In the case of the co-worker that always poo-poo’s your suggestions or ideas, say, “Well, I’d like to see how the rest of the group feels. How about we take it to a vote?” In the case of the martyr family member, don’t attack them. Instead of throwing up your hands and exclaiming, “I dunno what you want from me!” try saying something like, ‘You know, whenever I’m in a situation like that, I think about my own accountability. Not that I did anything wrong, but what could I have done differently to get a better outcome?” Finally, the best way to protect your energy (and your mental health) is to learn that beautiful, concise word, No. In the case of the bully, don’t be their doormat. For the conflict addict, tell them you are not feeling well or are too tired for their story today. For the martyr, tell them that you have confidence in their abilities, especially in their ability to find their own solution. In all these cases, when someone tries to steal your positive power, remember the power lies with you to stop it. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Paul! Paul A Cicchini, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Sir Paul Cicchini M.Ed., Ed.S., NCSP is a nationally certified school psychologist. He specializes in character education and is the only school psychologist on the East Coast to be certified in the new field of Social Emotional Learning (SEL)/Character Ed (Rutgers Univ. 2016). He is the owner of One Knight Publishing, LLC Sir Paul aspires to be a well-rounded Renaissance man. His list of personal accomplishments includes cable television host (Cars Weekly Video Magazine-Philadelphia), AP credentialed sports journalist, humorist, adjunct professor, martial artist, fencer, semi-pro football player, high school football coach, collegiate football scout. His title of "Sir" comes from his rank of Knights Commander with the Templar Knights SMOTJ. His second novel, YOUNG CYRANO, is the fictionalized account of the teenage life of Cyrano de Bergerac. It received a  rating from the respected Readers’ Favorite website (click a link to read their five-star review). Paul’s most recent novel, THE ESSENTIALZ is about a team of teenage superheroes that undergo the same challenges as modern teens.

Written by: Christopher H. McKinney Sr., Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. It's Increasing. Conflict. For many in the workplace, conflict is an ugly 4-letter word. The mere mention of conflict at work causes various negative responses, from acid reflux to an upset stomach, a throbbing headache, hives, and more. The stress of dealing with negative workplace conflict can be quite debilitating; unfortunately, negative conflict in the workplace is not decreasing. In the article “Conflict In The Workplace Negatively Impacts Wellness: Here’s What To Do About It”, Cecilia de San Jose’ referenced a study by the Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development from the United Kingdom that showed 26% of respondents and 20% of employers claim conflict at work is common. In 2008, CPP Global commissioned a study, “Workplace Conflict and How Businesses Can Harness It to Thrive”, to examine the impacts. The researchers found that 85% of employees at all levels experience conflict. They found that in the U.S., we spend around 2.6 hours each week handling workplace conflict. In an August 2022 report published by the Meyers-Briggs Company, “Conflict at Work” their research showed that managers and leaders spend 4.34 hours a week dealing with conflict. This is a 54% per week increase from 2008. It's Harmful Negative workplace conflict can lead to Cortisol Dumps, large amounts of Cortisol released into our bodies. This is due to the body responding to workplace conflict with a fight or flight response. Short periods of Cortisol have a minimal negative impact, but extended periods of Cortisol in our bodies can have harmful effects. The Mayo Clinic article “Stress Management” discusses what happens when the primary stress hormone, Cortisol, is released into our bloodstream. A “Cortisol Dump” driven by a fight or flight response to negative workplace conflict causes three immediate impacts: It increases the amount of sugar in our bloodstream. It increases the brain’s ability to use glucose. It enhances the body’s ability to repair itself in the event of an injury. The “Stress Management” article goes on to say, “Cortisol also curbs functions that would be nonessential or harmful in a fight-or-flight situation. It alters immune system responses and suppresses the digestive system, the reproductive system, and growth processes.” As these functions shut down, it is easy to see why routine “Cortisol Dumps” are bad for our health. A friend and author, Dr. Michael Perry, wrote in his book “THEXPERT LEADER”, “If stressors like job security, being singled out, or fear of loss are the order of the day, the short-term impact of Cortisol can be any number of reactionary behaviors, including rushing to judgment, lack of creativity, and flawed decision making. Over the long-term, the result of a stressful work environment can be adverse physical consequences, like high blood pressure, heart disease, and organ problems.” This makes it painfully clear why unbridled negative workplace conflict is detrimental to our companies. So as leaders in the workplace, this is not something we can avoid. We can see from the data, workplace conflict has been increasing over time and has harmful impacts on our people and us, so action on our part is critical. We must learn to deal effectively with negative conflict to facilitate good health and high-performance cultures. In this article, I will outline some practical steps to assist you in being even more effective as a leader. "Negative workplace conflict left unresolved can deteriorate into an aggressive cancer." Leaders Role What role does the leader play in handling negative workplace conflict? The leader plays the most crucial role. My mantra is “leadership is relentless” because there is always something to address, and commonly it is workplace conflict. In the Forbes Magazine article “5 Keys of Dealing with Workplace Conflict”, Mike Myatt stated, “… leadership and conflict go hand-in-hand. Leadership is a full-contact sport, and if you cannot or will not address conflict in a healthy, productive fashion, you should not be in a leadership role.” I wholeheartedly agree! And much like bad news does not get better with time, negative workplace conflict left unresolved does not get better with time either. Quite the opposite is true. The negative workplace conflict left unresolved can deteriorate into aggressive cancer. Conflict does not typically resolve itself positively without intervention. First: The leader must step into the gap to ascertain the problem and work with the involved parties to resolve it. When I say “leader”, this does not always mean the head of the company or organization. There are leaders at multiple levels; ideally, the leader closest to the situation should move first. Still, there may be situations where this person does not have the training or authority to resolve it. In this case, I advocate for solving the problem at the lowest level possible, so proceed up the food chain until you reach the right person. Next: Friend and co-author of “Triumphant Transitions”, Henry Hayes, often says, “Leaders lead.” When we as leaders fail to step into the gap or hesitate to step into the gap, many potential undesired impacts are hanging in the wing. We will delve into those later. As leaders, we must clearly articulate the following: We see the conflict. Our desire to resolve the conflict. We will actively engage until the resolution. * This cannot be delegated. "In times of chaos or disruption, people look to the leader to stand up and create stability." Who Wants It Addressed Even though it may go unspoken, everyone involved in the negative conflict wants the issue addressed. Even if the person involved is a bully, deep down inside, they want the issue resolved like everyone else. I will state again, the average person does not like conflict. All involved have some degree of a fight or flight response, which means everyone’s bodies are impacted. * Sidebar: If you have someone on your team that does like to engage in negative conflict routinely, you may need to evaluate if they should be on your team or not. This may be a potential source of constant disruption. The negative conflict makes it hard to concentrate and work on anything else effectively. If I get my dopamine hits by marking things off my checklist, the conflict will throw me off. All other employees, even those not directly involved, want the conflict to end because everyone in the workspace can feel the tension, and this tension disrupts production to some degree. It makes things uncertain and, thus, will likely elicit the fight or flight response for many. As a result, they subsequently experience the effects of having primary bodily functions halted during the conflict. As the leader, we want the negative conflict resolved for the aforementioned reasons. Additionally, it is hard to focus on the things we need to focus on (board meetings, strategic plans, strategic collaborations, etc.) when our thoughts are consumed by “Person A” being at war with “Person B”, and it is disrupting to operations. "Your audio has to match your video." What Happens When We Don’t Address It Most people do not want to engage in conflict as a natural default. Most people want to exist in an environment where there is minimal tension. Well, at least I do. So, I understand why some leaders will attempt to avoid it. Again, it is a natural inclination, but when we avoid it, three main things tend to transpire. Usually, the first area impacted is productivity. The production of the team or group typically decreases when there is unresolved negative conflict in the workplace. When things are terrible, most people are in survival mode. Even if they are not directly involved, they walk around trying to avoid getting caught in the fray. Which typically means minds are distracted from the main thing, production. This means our customers are not getting the best service possible (internal and external). This has implications for the bottom line. Next, there will typically be a loss of innovation for the reasons above. Who has time to solve existing or emerging problems when everyone walks around on eggshells? And in today’s fast pace global economy most of us cannot afford to miss out on an opportunity to better serve our customers. The third area to take a hit is the leader’s credibility. Now you might be saying, “Why would my credibility take a hit, Chris?” Glad you asked. Friend and author of “Turning Point Leadership”, Ronald Harvey, also has a simple quote: “Your audio has to match your video.” It means our words and actions must be congruent. As leaders, we should be the chief advocates of the core values and culture we desire to see modeled in our companies and organizations. So, when there is an unresolved conflict, and we walk past it, our “audio is not matching our video.” This can lead to unspoken thoughts of “how can we be “team-focused” when one person is allowed to disrupt the whole team.” If we could read the bubble over people’s heads, it might read, “For real!??! Are you going to let John Doe completely disrupt the place? Are you going to do NOTHING!! I have work to do you know! I thought you were in charge but obviously not!” In times of chaos or disruption, people look to the leader to stand up and create stability. People can become disillusioned and lose faith when we fail to step into the gap to address negative workplace conflict. Disillusionment leads to disengagement, which also has implications on the bottom line. People see who the real power broker is when we fail to act, so our credibility takes a hit. What Happens When We Address It As the leader, it is incumbent upon us to go first. Even though it can be very uncomfortable for the most seasoned leader to deal with negative workplace conflict, one of the first impacts of stepping into the gap is that we ease the tension and anxiety in the workplace. Once the tension and anxiety ease, production will start to increase. People tend to focus on the main thing instead of thinking, “Is it time to go home yet?” The reduction of Cortisol in their bodies gives them the bandwidth to focus on other areas. We will also tend to see innovation increase. People will have the capacity to better take care of the customer by eliminating tension. This will help put you back on the path to gaining more market share or establishing new markets. Our action reinforces our established credibility, or we can start to repair the damage it sustained during our inaction. Most people are forgiving, and even if we hesitated initially, we could potentially remove the tarnish from our armor. The bottom line is that we as leaders must proactively address negative workplace conflict and encourage and empower others to do the same. When we do not or if we delay, we cost our companies and organizations large amounts of money. The “Conflict at Work” research mentioned earlier identified that the total cost of conflict in the United Kingdom was £28.5 billion. In the U.S., it is estimated that the cost is $359 billion. "Only 3 things happen naturally in an organization: friction, confusion, and underperformance; everything else requires leadership." – Peter Drucker I hope this added value to you. If you are sitting there saying Chris, that sounds well and good, but I need help dealing with conflict as it is not a strong suit, I get it. You may have yet to receive training or mentorship on appropriately dealing with negative workplace conflict. My company 10X Leadership Consulting is poised to come alongside you to assist. I invite you to schedule a free consultation to explore the possibilities. Worst case scenario, I will offer you my best advice at no cost. Click the logo to book a free consultation. Also, if you are looking for a dynamic speaker for your event, click HERE for a free consultation. I have spoken to thousands and inspired numerous audience types, from students to the military to senior executives to the workforce. Follow me on Facebook, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Christopher! Christopher H. McKinney Sr., Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Chris is the founder and CEO of 10X Leadership Consulting (10XLC). 10XLC is a premier consulting company that identifies and diagnoses issues that impede the development and growth of businesses. 10XLC specializes in strategy, leadership, and culture development. Chris is also a co-author of the book “Triumphant Transitions” published by Trilogy Publishing. As a 30-year Air Force veteran, he developed the mantras “Leadership is relentless!” and “When you add value, you become invaluable.” Both were key beacons that helped him navigate and have highly successful careers in two different industries. Success for Chris is seeing people around him grow, evolve, and become effective when they gain a seat at the table. His mindset is for his life to be at its fullest, others must release their gift(s) into the world. By releasing their gift(s), the world is made more complete.