Written by: Ulrika Sullivan, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Someone asked me today what is the biggest change after spiritual transformation? What intuitively came to me is “It’s how I experience life”. But, in what way? Before I could feel like I was just going through the day, same as the day before. Before I could feel like I had to know the next step, otherwise there was nothing. Before I could feel like there was only one way to do things. Before I could feel like I had to meet an expectation that was never enough. Before I could feel like I didn’t know without asking someone first. Before I could feel like I didn’t know myself. Now, I see myself in a different light than before. I see myself as a soul and part of the Universe now. I see that others are equally part of it too. I see what I contribute with is uniquely timed and needed. I see what I’m here to do and be. I know the real me. I know who am. The interesting thing is that if you look at my life on the surface and at the highest level it’s pretty much the same as before the spiritual transformation. I still work (however the content of what I do has completely changed), I still have kids and a family, and I still go to the grocery store. The change is within. In this article, I’ll explain the fundamentals of spiritual transformation into multidimensional living through seven inner shifts. I share more about it in my book Wisdom Beyond What You Know: How to Shift from Being Driven by the Mind to Living from the Heart and Intuition. 1. From the Comfort Zone to Commitment. We all have a comfort zone. It’s how we go about our lives every day. Sometimes what we do every day is not serving us to be at our best, and that’s when we start to feel frustrated, restless, and bored. The comfort zone is where we go even if we know some of it is great, but some are not good for us. Our habits, patterns, and ways of living keep us where we are. Unless… We step out of our comfort zone and make a commitment to change what’s not good for us. It may be the food choices we make now just because we grew up eating that way. It may be the influence we allow others to have on us and us on them. It may be the way it’s always been… When we make a commitment to ourselves we give green light to change to come into our lives effortlessly. And this is what I call the “point of no return” moment. How can you make an inner commitment to yourself? 2. From Disconnected to Self-Aware. Once that commitment is made there's no going back. Because now the doors are open to learning more about who we really are. A few years back I was completely disconnected from who I was. I can only say that now, knowing what I know now about myself. The journey to self-awareness is an exciting one. Imagine getting to know your true talents and gifts, your purpose, and your life’s work. Who doesn’t want to know that? And it starts with asking yourself questions. Instead of adopting convenient answers and solutions from others’ lives and experiences. Self-awareness is about finding out what works for You! How can you take action on what works for you in your life? 3. From Codependency to Sovereignty. Codependency starts in childhood when we’re building relationships with others. Some relationships are elevating us to new heights, some are not. The codependent relationships are where we can learn the most about ourselves. Because they show us where we need to heal and become ourselves. They show us where we have work to do to become sovereign in our own life. I define sovereignty as “putting yourself on the top of your own mountain”. This is a key shift in spiritual transformation. How can you put yourself on the top of your mountain? 4. From Learning to Embodying. Many of us are masters at learning new things (myself included!). But many are staying in the learning mode (because there’s always something new to learn). We get farther and farther away from connecting with our true selves that way unless we embody what we’ve learned. Our body needs to integrate our knowledge, and we need to take action on what we’ve learned so that it can become our new normal in our daily life. The accumulation of information is driven by the mind, but the embodiment is expressed by the body’s consciousness and our aura. How can you embody what you’ve learned? 5. From Logic to Wisdom. Our mind is a wonderful tool for processing information, but sometimes it’s NOT helping us. Have you ever negotiated away an opportunity because of questioning yourself? That back and forth that the mind is engaging in…! Ugh! Our logic has served us well in problem-solving and strategizing but when it comes to supporting our mental and emotional wellbeing it’s questionable if the mind is set up to serve us well. To make the shift from living our life based on the conclusions of our logical mind to something much wiser, such as our own heart and innate wisdom, we need to step away from constantly being “on” and thinking about the future (or living in the past). It’s about allowing our life to unfold today. When we’re tapped into our own inner wisdom we just know what’s right for us. And that doesn’t need the back and forth, wondering what’s right for us. We JUST KNOW!. How can you tap into your inner wisdom when making your next decision? 6. From Pushing to Manifesting. By utilizing your own inner wisdom more than relying on your logic, you’ll naturally start to manifest. This is because your inner wisdom is aligned with your truth. Your truth is aligned with your life force and pure creativity, and when you tap into that you attract what you need. The opposite of manifesting is pushing. And we all have done that. Feeling like it HAS TO BE THIS WAY! Often with frustration and resistance as a result when things don’t happen as we thought. Manifesting is about inner energy alignment and surrender. So in theory there’s nothing we need to do in practical terms. Not even a manifesting ritual is going to help you manifest if you’re not living from your true self. How can you step away from things you no longer resonate with? 7. From Individual to Multidimensional. This is where it gets good. REAL good. Spiritual transformation is about seeing life in a different light. It’s an energy of oneness and wholeness. For example, good and bad are transmuted into one. It just is. Just like unconditional love. It just is. Same with our true selves. Our true self is multidimensional. It just is. The energy of our true self is connected to the Universe and the Earth. So we connect with the Universe through our intuition and the Earth by grounding and connecting with nature. As we form a natural expression of this relationship, seeing ourselves as part of a whole and not as a single physical individual we are on the path of spiritual transformation. How can you listen to your intuition and ground yourself today? If you’d like to integrate these seven inner shifts consider joining Beyond the Mind membership community or visit UlrikaSullivan.com Ulrika Sullivan is the Best-selling Author of Wisdom Beyond What You Know: How to Shift from Being Driven by the Mind to Living from the Heart and Intuition, visit WisdomBeyondBook.com, and the founder of the Beyond the Mind membership community which is created to help integrate heart-centered multidimensional living into our daily lives. You can also find more inspiration on Ulrika’s podcast New Light Living ‒ See Your Life in a New Light. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, Linkedin, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Ulrika! Ulrika Sullivan, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Ulrika Sullivan is an intuitive spiritual life coach, yoga teacher, and energy healer. After leaving a stressful multitasking corporate career that left her feeling on autopilot, Ulrika realized she didn’t know who she truly was. A complete inner shift led her to her “point of no return” when she with clarity connected with her true self, natural talents, and life purpose. Ever since Ulrika is successfully helping busy working women to connect with their own intuition, find their inner calm, self-love, and life balance, so that they can live with more ease and flow. Ulrika is the host of the podcast “New Light Living ‒ See Your Life in a New Light”.

Written by: Sallie Wagner, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. According to research, 20% of us self-identify as people who chronically procrastinate. The most common reason we give to explain our procrastination is distraction (48%). The next most common reason we give is that we feel overwhelmed and don’t know where to start (40%). Of course, those aren’t the only explanations. We come up with lots of other reasons for why we procrastinate: We’re not good at time management or organizing things We don’t have enough motivation or confidence We don’t have enough time to finish it We’re anxious We’re afraid we’ll fail We’re afraid it won’t be perfect We tell ourselves these things, and all sorts of other things, that may or may not be true, to explain why we procrastinate. Do any of those sound familiar? You may be wondering, what’s the big deal if we procrastinate? A deadline slips a little bit here, a due date slips a little bit there, so what? Sadly, when we procrastinate, it can have quite a negative impact on us. It affects us physically, mentally, emotionally – in every aspect of our lives. For example, when we procrastinate, we experience more stress in our lives. Stress can negatively affect our health – it predisposes us to inflammatory disease, causes our Mindset to slip, and on and on with snowballing effects. There are also hard, dollar costs tied to procrastination. It has a huge economic impact on all of us. Studies show that a vast majority of people self-report that they procrastinate at least an hour each day – 80% for salaried workers, 76% for entrepreneurs. Think about how much that costs, particularly if you’re running your own business. Calculate your hourly rate, multiple by the number of hours you procrastinate each day, then multiply again to come up with the annual cost. Can you really afford to procrastinate? If, like me, the answer is NO, what can we do about it? After all, if it were easy, we wouldn’t procrastinate, right? Let’s first consider what procrastination is. For most of us, procrastination isn’t simply doing nothing. It’s doing something that’s low priority instead of doing something that is higher priority. In other words, if we think about it in terms of the Pareto Principle, procrastination is when we focus on the 80% rather than on the 20% that yields the greater impact and results. If that’s the case, then procrastination may simply be the result of a lack of clarity and focus on what’s important. And we can address that through some simple strategies – asking the right questions, business planning, calendaring tasks, and the like. However, there may be other underlying causes that need to be addressed. Like some of those things identified above – fear of failure, perfectionism, low confidence levels, lack of motivation. But are those things really true? That we procrastinate because we’re not properly motivated? Or we’re not confident enough? Did you notice that startling statistic earlier? That 76% of entrepreneurs procrastinate. If that’s true, as they self-report, it would appear to belie the notion that procrastination stems from lack of motivation, lack of confidence, and so on. After all, wouldn’t we think that entrepreneurs are extremely motivated? Yet, clearly we business owners aren’t immune to the procrastination bug. So what’s going on? Is it a lack of will power? A character flaw that causes us to procrastinate? Some people think so – 25% of adults believe that procrastination is a defining character trait for themselves. But is that really true? After all, in many instances, it’s not what we don’t know that holds us back. It’s what we DO know, that’s NOT TRUE, that holds us back. And frankly, I don’t believe that procrastination is a character flaw. I believe procrastination is a learned behavior. And if we learned it somewhere along the way, for whatever reason(s), we can UN-learn it and learn different behavior that has more utility for us personally. We can learn a new behavior that moves us forward in the way we consciously choose to go. If that’s the case, there are some relatively simple strategies we can deploy to overcome that procrastination habit. We’ll talk about 3 of them. 1st, understand that will power is an illusion. It doesn’t exist. If you’re relying on will power to help you accomplish all those tasks, you’ve already lost the battle. Same with motivation. If you wait until you’re motivated and inspired, it may never happen. This may be a major Mindset adjustment for some. Just allow it to sink in. 2nd, instead of relying on that illusory will power and motivation, create a system that favors action rather than inaction. Incorporate specific steps into your daily activities that will get you moving on those projects that are languishing. Don’t have time to finish that big project all in one sitting? Ask yourself, do you really need to? In most cases, the answer is likely NO. If that’s the case, give yourself permission to NOT finish it. Put it on your calendar for a certain amount of time each day. Break it down into manageable chunks of time – 5, 10, 15 minutes each day. And do it consistently, chipping away at it until you’re done. Do that with all of your projects and see how quickly you pick up momentum. 3rd, gamify your projects. Reframe the daily steps into something that brings you pleasure, or something that’s a challenge, rather than a chore. When you do that, you actually begin to look forward to the activity – you no longer dread it. Example, folding sheets. Does anybody really enjoy folding sheets? Probably not, when you consider it objectively. However, when you turn it into a challenge, you can learn to look forward to it. I continuously hone my sheet folding skills, figuring out how I can fold the fitted sheet so that it’s perfectly aligned for efficiency – I match the corners so that I don’t waste time figuring out which way to position it the next time I make the bed with that set of sheets. I fold the top sheet so that it, too, is perfectly aligned for efficiency when I use it next. I fold them all together so that they fit into the linen closet with all the other sheets, so I minimize the time it takes me to use them the next time. I know, it sounds incredibly boring, and perhaps a bit like a personality disorder. HOWEVER, I fold the sheets. I don’t put off an inherently tedious task, because I’ve turned it into a game, a challenge to see how well I can fold the sheets to set them up for maximum efficiency with the next use. And we can do that with any task. Any project. Begin by accepting the notion that procrastination isn’t destiny. It’s not a character flaw that represents a lack of motivation or will power. It’s a learned behavior that can be unlearned and replaced with a different behavior that you consciously choose. When you break projects down into manageable, daily chunks of time and activities, when you reframe and gamify those daily activities, you’ll unlearn the procrastination habit, you’ll install a predisposition toward action. And procrastination will be a thing of the past. When would NOW be a good time to start? Follow me on Facebook, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Sallie! Sallie Wagner, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Sallie Wagner – speaker, author, lawyer, real estate broker, What’s Next Strategist, and Life Alchemist! Sallie employs Emotional Freedom Techniques, evolved Neurolinguistic Programming, and trauma-aware modalities, so clients launch into action for rapid, concrete results, as they ditch unwanted habits, behaviors, fears, phobias, limiting beliefs, and decisions. Sallie spent the majority of her law career in the corporate world. In addition to her other business initiatives, she currently provides broker and contracts compliance services to real estate brokerages throughout Florida. She also owns and operates a real estate school.

Angela Scaperlanda Bujan, MA, is a bilingual certified spiritual director, coach, facilitator, retreat leader, speaker, writer, editor, and organizational consultant. As founder of HELP Professional Services LLC, Angela sought to establish a unique organization centered around helping individuals, groups, and other organizations become who they are meant to be. Her unique background in intercultural communication, business, and spirituality has allowed her the opportunity to work with individuals and organizations across countries, sectors, and organizational levels. She brings her professional skills, fluency in Spanish, intercultural expertise, solid spiritual base, and relevant life experiences to the table. Angela has over 25 years of experience working with local, national, and international clients. This background allows her to listen for, observe, and understand the diverse needs of individuals, groups, communities, and organizations. Each presentation, retreat, workshop, and session is tailored to meet the current needs of the people with whom she has the privilege to work. Angela actively seeks and works toward establishing an integrative life that allows her to invest a substantial portion of her time and talent building her family as well as building HELP Professional Services. She is constantly amazed at the lessons she learns as a wife and mother, that she can apply to her work and those from work that benefit her family. Angela Scaperlanda Bujan, Founder / Managing Partner of Help Professional Services LLC Hi Angela, introduce yourself! Please tell us about you and your life, so we can get to know you better. This is always a challenging question. We each have so many intricate parts of ourselves, that it is hard to know where to start! I grew up as the youngest of six with three older brothers and two older sisters. My father, now retired, was an international economics professor, and my mom, who was constantly studying, learning, and working in the community, always said her most important job was to love her children. I am happily married to my best friend Elliott, thanks to a lot of hard work and dedication, and never giving up on each other. Our children, Grace, Nicolas, and Gianna are, with complete sincerity, our greatest gifts. I tell my kids all the time that I not only love them, but I sure like them a whole lot! This was a huge benefit, especially during quarantine! I actively seek and work toward establishing an integrative life, committed to living what I have come to understand as my mission from “the inside out”. This means I have intentionally worked to simplify my life, trying to take out things that do not have meaning and ensure that the pieces of my life – my faith, family, work, community connections, and other activities – come together to form a meaningful whole. This is an ongoing process that I need to revisit at times. This focus has freed me to invest a substantial portion of my time and talent devoted to my family, especially when my kids were young, as well as dedicated to work that I love. I am constantly amazed at how the people and activities in my life inform and influence one another. There are many lessons I learn as a wife and mother, that I can apply to my work and those from work that benefit my family. In terms of activities, I love to be active as well as still and silent – biking, hiking, kayaking, swimming, playing anything (sports, cards, board games), as well as reading, journaling, and silent prayer. As I mentioned, I also love the work I am privileged to do. All these activities are where I am most alive and most at home. What is your business name and how do you help your clients? Here is the story behind choosing HELP Professional Services as my business name. Shortly before founding the LLC, I had just experienced something profound; an internal transformation having completed my Spiritual Guidance Training Program. I knew I was different inside – I was still me, with the same parts of my story, but somehow, the pieces had arranged themselves in a new way. I could not return to my old way of being even if I wanted to. I needed to find a way forward. In my personal life, although not necessarily easy, it was clearer – I was able to be more present, love more deeply, and listen more intently and intentionally. In my professional life, however, it required a lot of prayer, thinking, and reshaping. I needed to find a way to integrate this new way of being, seeing, and interacting with the world. It was time to move beyond being an “independent consultant” to create something new that would not just be for me but would serve as a structure for others to grow as well. I went through the process of forming an LLC somewhat mechanically until it came time to find a name. I had to ask myself, what is important to me? What do I love to do? What do I want to be known for? After playing around with different names, I concluded that what I want to do in whatever arena of my life is to “help” people become more fully who they are meant to be and to serve others while growing and applying my own gifts. I looked up different definitions of help. help v to make it easier for somebody to do something, or possible for somebody to do something that one person cannot do alone, by providing assistance of some sort to provide somebody with advice, directions, or other information to make something easier or more likely to bring about an improvement in something unpleasant, unbearable, or unfortunate to provide somebody with something that he or she needs to promote the advancement or improvement of something Encarta® World English Dictionary © 1999 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved. Developed for Microsoft by Bloomsbury Publishing Plc. All the definitions I found summed up the work I love to do, and the services HELP Professional Services offers to our clients. I found my name. The type of services we offer to our clients will vary greatly depending on their needs, but the intention will be simple – we will help others grow personally, professionally, and spiritually whatever their circumstances. What kind of audience do you target your business towards? One of my greatest value propositions is adapting to the needs of my clients – meeting them where they are at. My intercultural skills allow me to adapt quickly to new cultural environments, including organizational, community, and group environments. This means that my business is relevant to individuals, groups, and organizations from many different sectors. This is a wonderful thing because the pool of potential clients is very large. On the flip side though, this is also challenging. The pool can seem too big at times if I am promoting a new program, and it is sometimes hard to know “where to cast my net” and “which lure” will be most effective to draw in new clients who will benefit the most. What are your current goals for your business? I am hoping for the opportunity to work with more organizations truly committed to transformative growth at all levels within their organizational structure. I love working with individuals and teams, as well as speaking to and working with groups, but it has been a while since I have been able to work with whole organizations. I am also expanding Help Professional Services to launch another LLC, called Resilience Land, dedicated to understanding and building greater resilience. We have dedicated a lot of thought, time, and effort to understand resilience better ourselves, and to capture this understanding in a comprehensive model called The Resilience Tree Model™, which forms the basis for building greater resilience. At the “heart” of the model, just like at the literal “heart” of resilience, you find what we call “the inner core” which is critical to thriving during times of adversity. I am looking forward shortly to getting this content and corresponding tools and services from our heads, hearts, laptops, and development site, out into the world. What would you like to achieve for yourself and your business in the future? I have always intentionally planned to grow my business as my children grew, slowly over time. My children are very close to being grown, so I am finding more time to dedicate to growing my business. I have been humbled by operating a small business, and have a newfound respect for small business owners, where you need to do a little bit of everything. I realized when I was a part of larger organizations, how much I took for granted the unique expertise that others add to help bring about success. I look forward to forming more strategic alliances and partnerships, possibly contracting more people, and even bringing people on board to form internal teams. I would like to help others be successful, but I also hope to work with others who will help me be more successful as well! Who inspires you to be the best that you can be? What is your work inspired by? I often find inspiration in beauty – in nature, in the arts, and in people. For example, as you can tell from my logo, butterflies are significant to me. There are many reasons, but when I think about humbly fulfilling your life’s purpose, the butterfly always comes to mind. I have been inspired by their transformation process, but additionally, I am inspired by the way they live with unpretentious beauty and grace. Butterflies go about their day fulfilling their life’s purpose by feeding themselves and simultaneously contributing to the pollination process, all while adding beauty wherever they go. They are not trying to be beautiful and attract attention, they just simply are who they are meant to be and are exquisite. I see this kind of beauty emerge from the people I have the privilege to work with; people who courageously shed the false self, understand and live more fully their unique purpose, and humbly go about living each day unconsciously and unpretentiously adding beauty to the world around them. They are exquisite. Music also inspires me. I heard an Amy Grant song for the first time while I was studying in Spain during the senior year of my undergraduate studies. Now an “old” song, but still inspirational to me, it goes, ”All of my friends are happy to stay here in this yard day after day, but something inside me has called me away. I don’t understand, but I know I can’t stay. I’m going to fly, no one knows where, but I am going to fly, sour through the air. I have felt for the first time I can be myself, no more faces to hide behind, just a smile and a dream that’s mine, even if I am the only one who wants to fly.” That song marked me profoundly at that moment and has been one of many theme songs that have inspired me throughout my life’s journey. Of course, my parents have both greatly inspired and influenced me and the shaping of my life. My husband and children provide me with my greatest joy and meaning. I cannot fail to mention that the most real, profound, and essential daily inspiration and guidance I receive is from Jesus and his mom, Mary, who I now loving think of as “Mama Mary”. In our current culture, it feels “risky” to admit since many people may misunderstand it, others may make assumptions about me, and perhaps many others may laugh it off. I can only be honest and tell you that it is true. Tell us about your greatest career achievement so far. I often describe my life and, in this case, my professional career, as a mosaic. I have many intricate, colorful, and beautiful pieces that together, when looked at from a broader view, form something unexpected and even more exquisite. My early career exploded beyond anything I ever could have planned or dreamed of coming out of graduate school. There are many memorable people and projects I was fortunate enough to encounter in my work, but a few stand out that I am most proud of during that time. One example was an investigation I was contracted to conduct on the Current State of Education in Human Rights in El Salvador following the end of the 12-year civil war. I was contracting with the Interamerican Institute of Human Rights, where I completed my graduate internship and had previously worked to offer specialized courses in human rights. My unique background, training, and own intellectual curiosity led me to become somewhat of an expert in designing and implementing diagnostic, planning, and impact evaluation systems. I ended up becoming an independent consultant after a year and a half. I was asked by a director I greatly respected, who really in looking back on it, took a chance on me offering this opportunity, to conduct a study utilizing three main data points – a national public opinion poll, analysis of the current national educational curriculum reform, and a representative sample of classroom observation, just two years after the civil war ended. Another director who was from El Salvador raised doubts about whether I was the person for the job. As a young woman in my early twenties from the United States, I kind of wondered that myself. Gonzalo, the director who was contracting me, showed absolute confidence in my ability to conduct this study. I did not sleep the night before my first preliminary fact-finding trip to El Salvador. Having recently read the United Nations Truth and Reconciliation Commission’s report on many of the atrocities committed during the war and having seen the TV coverage and movies about so many tragedies, I felt apprehensive about traveling there alone. I asked the director to secure a driver who would work with me during my stay, a concession he fully supported and wished he would have thought of himself. I met with three different individuals that first day to get background information to plan the study. After meeting with them, I quickly realized, we needed to form a research team. I wrote up a proposal, secured additional funding, and hired the three individuals who would each be responsible for conducting one section of the study. I would coordinate all three and synthesize the results, making final observations, recommendations, and coordinating the publication of our findings. In three short months, we concluded our study, met as a team to present, and discuss our findings. The publication of our results followed shortly after. Both Gonzalo and my father called me to excitedly report that our investigation was now housed in the Library of Congress! At the time, it was cutting-edge information! My naivety, humility, and perhaps a little bit of stupidity, made me downplay this accomplishment. I now realize how unusual it was for a young American woman from DeKalb, IL to end up coordinating an international study, putting together a team of male researchers twice my age, working in my non-native language, and efficiently compiling the data in a very short amount of time. We went on to publish multiple editions of our results in English and Spanish and the study was used in numerous national and international trainings. There were personally impactful moments during my time in El Salvador as well that I share on rare occasions. This is just one of many projects I miraculously was privileged to be a part of during my early career. I often worked from “gut instinct” and gained competence in areas such as organizational structure and development, change management, strategic planning, educational instructional design, and facilitation through my various international contracts. I was privileged to work with other projects within the Institute, UN organizations, not-for-profits, women’s organizations, refugee programs, children’s rights organizations, among others. I learned a lot, grew my skills, was challenged, and met some unbelievable people (from Nobel peace prize winners, presidents, ministers of state, and military personnel, to indigenous women who came from villages with no running water or electricity but who were becoming leaders for human rights in their communities). Since that time, I have added other colorful variations to my life/career mosaic. Perhaps the most surprising and profoundly rewarding has been becoming a spiritual director almost 10 years ago. My training allows me to meet with anyone seeking to grow spiritually. My own faith tradition, as a Christian Catholic, anchors me and gives me plenty of spaciousness to continue seeking greater growth. Helping people achieve “high performance” is rewarding but does not always equate with achieving real-life success. Sometimes people work hard to look polished on the outside to mask the brokenness on the inside. When people can engage and dedicate time to doing the challenging interior work and begin to live from the inside out, no masks are required. If you could change one thing about your industry, what would it be and why? I think the biggest thing I would change would be the fear of vulnerability and trying to cling to control at all costs. In many ways, we are all “walking wounded”. Everyone has had to deal with something at some point in their life. We are simple, yet complex beings, who, as a whole person, are made of mind, body, and spirit. Our culture, and our world, are struggling right now. People are trying to make sense of their lives. Even people who have outward success are often left empty and looking for deeper meaning. It takes both courage and time to turn your focus inward to discover what is there. Not everyone is willing or able to do this. It is like playing an instrument that has never been properly tuned. Imagine the people around you, in your work, community, or even in your home, all playing in a giant orchestra meant to play beautiful music, but no one takes time “to tune” – instead of playing masterful music, sometimes we will just screech and scratch our way through. Tell us about a pivotal moment in your life that brought you to where you are today. There are so many pivotal moments that have shaped this mosaic of my life, that it is hard to pick just one. For example, guided by what some may call “gut instinct”, that I experience as “Holy Spirit guidance” when I was 13, I just knew I needed to become fluent in Spanish, and after 4-years of high school and 4-years of college Spanish, a study abroad experience in Spain and getting an undergraduate degree in Spanish, I ended up with a teaching job at a bicultural center in Costa Rica. I almost didn’t go, but a providential encounter with a family friend made it clear to me that that is where I needed to be. Having decided to go, I originally planned to stay 3-6 months, but to make a long, and interesting story, short, I ended up living there for a total of seven years. I went there not knowing anyone and left there, married, adding a wonderful extended family, and having worked and traveled in almost every country in Latin America. It is a long story that I sometimes get requests to tell, but I can only tell you, that God’s plans are always way bigger and better than our own. I met my future husband Elliott on my first day in Costa Rica and after two months, we knew we would build our future together. Some pivotal moments have been exciting and others, extremely painful. All contribute to the beauty of my mosaic. The moment I knew I would be bilingual, taking a leap and going to Costa Rica, meeting my future husband, and a chance encounter that opened the door to another enhanced career focus are but a few. I can see so many influential faces, people who have unexpectedly come into my life and added something special that I did not know was missing previously. These are all exciting and welcomed pivotal moments though. Sometimes our painful moments even more profoundly shape our lives. Suffering, although not welcome, can lead to tremendous growth if we allow ourselves to be fortified and positively shaped as a result. These painful “before and after” moments are pivotal, life-changing experiences that many people have, but if they go unattended, can crush you. Three such moments in my own life are when my mom suddenly died in a car accident when I was 15 years old when my first-born son died in my arms, 40 short but meaningful hours after we welcomed him into the world, and when one of my dearest friends Beth died after battling stage 4 breast cancer. Each of these experiences profoundly influenced the course of my life. I often credit our son Nathan who died with saving me from the treadmill of a corporate climb (other people sometimes call this the hamster wheel I believe). Collaborating to publish Beth’s story following her death, in Update 21 – A Journal of Spiritual Victory, helped me process my own loss. My grief and suffering allow me to accompany others in their grief. I am not afraid to go to deep places as I walk with others. These experiences have also shaped and strengthened my “inner core”, leading me to understand resilience and the resilience building process in a profound, firsthand experiential way. Follow me on LinkedIn , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Angela!

Written by: Dr. Siya Mjwara, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. We are living at a time where doing almost everything online is quickly becoming a norm. In the dating scene, more roads are leading to online dating. Whilst online dating seems convenient and fun for many, it still comes with its own set of dynamics. These dynamics can sometimes be difficult to navigate. If you are thinking of swiping right to find a potential date, here are a few tips that might come in handy. 1. Clarify what you are looking for Many people are not sure what exactly they are looking for in a potential partner, and end up wasting time and other resources chatting with and even meeting people who are not a good match. When you are clear about what you want, it also gives you insight into what you don't want. Describe what you are looking for in one or two sentences, and be clear on how will identify those qualities in a potential match. Be honest about it, to yourself and the other person, from the beginning. 2. Arrange a video call Once you have found a potential match and the conversation is going well. Try to arrange a video call or verify their picture as soon as possible. This will help you see if this is a real person and whether you connect on a personal level. It is a good idea to arrange to meet face to face as soon as possible. When you meet someone in-person it gives you a better idea of who they are. I usually say “someone’s energy does not lie”. 3. Avoid potential danger Try to set healthy boundaries. Many of us would think "it goes without saying" that setting healthy boundaries is important, but some people do forget to set clear boundaries. Try to avoid going to the person's home, apartment, or hotel until you are certain that you are 100% safe with them, and you know at least who this person is and their true identity. Until safety is established, try to meet in public spaces and inform someone you trust where you will be and who you are meeting with. Try to take as many precautions as possible. 4. Be clear of what you want Yes, I know. Many people will say "we are vibing, we are exploring, we are friends getting to know each other, I don’t want to seem too serious and stuck-up" until someone gets hurt. The reality is that you both need to be clear about whether this is a romantic interaction or not. Is it a platonic friendship or you will be providing sexual favors to each other and so on? If you both agree that you are seeking a romantic relationship, you need to consider what type of romantic relationship are you pursuing. Is it monogamous, open, polyandrous, and so on? The last thing anyone needs is to think you're in a relationship and the other person believes you are friends with benefits. The latter usually ends in tears and sometimes with a significant element of drama. 5. Try to take it easy It is always a good idea to not rush into things. Especially if you are not yet clear about what is happening and why you are doing what you are doing or who you are dealing with. Take your time and not pressure yourself into doing things you might later regret. Every behavior has consequences. Try to examine the potential consequences of whatever you decide to do. Be patient with yourself and the other person. Practice breathing exercises or mindfulness whenever you feel a bit anxious. 6. Make an effort and be authentic Waiting on the potential partner to make all the moves and lead the conversation is not a healthy approach. Try to also make an effort to ask questions, get the conversation going and share whatever you feel ready to share. It can be exhausting for one person to be the only initiator. Remember you are both trying to get to know each other. At the same time try to show up as yourself and don’t try to be someone you are not or mislead the other person. Providing false information or hiding behind a fake persona is not the best way to start any healthy relationship. There is no exact manual of how to do this right and avoid heartache or awkward situations completely. In relationships, there are no guarantees. However, trying to put certain measures in place can help prevent or minimize certain aspects of disappointment. Feel free to write to me and let me know if any of the above tips have been useful for you, and about some of your online dating experiences thus far. You may send your letters to the Breakfree with Dr. Siya Facebook group. I wish you the best of luck. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, Linkedin, Twitter, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Dr. Siya! Dr. Siya Mjwara, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Dr. Siya Mjwara is an experienced therapist & wellness coach, trainer, and EAP consultant who has worked with individuals, couples, families, and management teams across various industries for over 14 years. Her educational and continued professional development has transformed into a dedication to bringing awareness to individuals. She assists businesses to develop, and implement employee wellness solutions to improve productivity, reduce absenteeism, and overall workplace culture. From an individual perspective, she supports clients to identify and confront their challenges; and the things that are holding them back; to become their truest being by fulfilling their mission in life and walking in their purpose. Dr. Siya is the founder of Amambelu Wellness and AskDrSiya. She is also a published poet, voice-over artist, and radio presenter.

Written by: Rosalyn Palmer, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. “The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best.” ‒ Aristotle Many companies use psychometric testing, such as the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator®(MBTI®) test which gives a snapshot of what motivates you, how you feel, whether you are intuitive, etc. It is a way of making the psychological types described by C.G. Jung understandable. It is a relatively straightforward test (and many free versions exist on the internet) that categorizes everyone into one of 16 distinctive personality types based on their interests, reactions, values, motivations, and skills. What is good about such tests is that you can gain better insight into not only your strengths and weaknesses but also those of others. Such mutual understanding can then lead to improved relationships with others at work. For example, if you are very extrovert and outgoing, you may sit in a meeting with someone very quiet and mistake their reluctance to jump into the conversation as being that they have no opinions worth sharing. They may be a reflective type and as such could be a very safe pair of hands for the extroverts who literally form their opinions as they speak. As someone who can relate to this latter type, I’d argue that you need all sorts to make a strong team. Having someone willing to jump in and take charge and come up with a solution quickly can also be relevant and necessary. So, playing to everyone’s strengths is key, as is an understanding of what makes you tick, how you tend to react, and how to work better with others. Businesses always work out better ways to plan and behave. Yet those who work in corporations and spend huge amounts of time on training, development, and detailed business plans fail to have a life plan. They wouldn’t start a project without a project plan but have no blueprint for their life. So, to keep it simple here is a 5-Point Better Life Plan. It comprises five B-actions that can put you back on the A-list of your own life. They are: Belief Blue sky thinking Bait Brand you Bulletproof Belief: many of your beliefs were forced upon you as a child by your parents, teachers, or other adults. They were never yours in the first place, so why not question them? Assess if they are working for you now. If they are, this is good. They are underpinning who you are. If they are not and you feel at odds with them, throw them out now. Cultivate a better belief. For example, if you have been pushing for business success and doing quite well, but feel uneasy about it, as the mantra in your head is that ‘Money makes you evil’, then work on your money mindset and values that support you now. Blue sky thinking is about taking the cap off your expectations, dreams, and desires and asking yourself, ‘What could my life look like if,’ ‘How could life be if there were no limits to what I could do?’ Create your own limitless and great questions to disrupt complacent thinking, habits, and results. Ask them of yourself just before going to sleep at night. The answers will come from that deep part of your inner knowing. Bait: is about why you are even going to go after something in the first place. Why do you want to be CEO of your company, for example? You have to really have a strong ‘why’ to put up with long hours or stress and the pressures that would go with that one. Everyone’s bait on their hook is different, but you do need to examine yours and see if it is strong enough to hold and land the catch you desire. If your bait for wanting to be CEO is ‘to finally make my father proud of me, as he always said I wouldn’t amount to anything, then you may make it there just to show him, but you will not be happy about either the journey or the destination. Whilst being driven by this motivation, you may lose friends or even close family on the journey as your need to prove yourself may be obsessive and probably not very caring of others. Often, even when people achieve greatness, they are still not praised by parents who are not forthcoming or family members, so they never get that approval. I’ve heard of movie directors whose parents still criticize them. Their inability to give them unconditional love or praise is the problem and acting like a child seeking approval all your life and not receiving it can be highly emotionally damaging. One way to check if your Why is congruent is to ask yourself ‘Who is behind my why?’. Who is it that you are really doing this for? For yourself? Your family? Or to please some old critical voice or ‘Itty Bitty Shitty Committee’ in your mind that plays on repeat? Brand you is understanding and building upon the fact that you are your own brand. It is like the lettering in candy rock at the English seaside. The name of the resort is written on the stick of rock, and if you cut it anywhere across its length, that name will still be spelled out inside: Skegness, Blackpool, Southsea, or Torbay for example. The principle is the same. Each touchpoint along its length reveals exactly the same identity. Being your own brand means that you have congruency: you are your authentic self and you are not hiding behind a mask. If you are self-employed, a trader, or a practitioner of any kind, everything about you is your brand, from how you answer the phone and reply to emails, to your logo and branding, livery on a vehicle, or the way your premises look right through to how you look and behave. How many times have you come across a tradesperson who has a super eye-catching logo, a flash local newspaper advert, and bright livery on their van, usually promising something like ‘Plumbing Solutions’, only to ring them and get no reply? You might leave a message for them and days later they reply while they are out and about and don’t have their diary with them. Not much of a solution at all for you, especially if your toilet is still leaking. All of that investment they have made in their ‘brand’ is wasted, as to you their brand is unreliable and unobtainable, so you are busy asking the neighbors for a word-of-mouth recommendation to find someone trustworthy whose word is their brand. They may not even have a business card, but that is not a recommendation either in the grand scheme of ‘Brand You’. My late father employed a gardener who did a brilliant job. All the neighbors wanted details about him. He didn’t have cards or leaflets. He didn’t even rip up pieces of paper, scribble his details on them and post them through their letterboxes. He obtained no business from the neighbors, they all went elsewhere, and when I bumped into him a few months later and he said that business was a bit slow, I had to bite my tongue. There will be days when the best your brand can do is dress up and show up. That means be reliable and turn up when you promise. Dressing up means dressing the part. A friend posted a picture on Facebook from a conference she was attending a few years ago. In it, Richard Branson is leaning over the stage cutting off a man’s tie with scissors. I wasn’t an attendee, but I can guess the context. It used to be called ‘suited and booted’ and of course, many workplaces have dress codes. Especially now in the time of flexible working what is your degree of flexibility? If you are now in business for yourself, reinventing yourself after being made redundant, semi-retiring, coming out of a divorce, or other life change, take some time on your image too. There are some amazing image consultants who will work with you to cull your wardrobe and even shop with you to find clothes that suit your body shape, personality, and desires. It may seem extravagant and throwing out 21 bin bags of clothes can be quite painful, but it is ultimately cathartic and liberating. I did it. I would open two crammed wardrobes and declare that I had nothing to wear, as many of the clothes didn’t fit well, didn’t flatter me, and didn’t go together. Now that is not a problem, and having fewer but better clothes also adds an extra dimension to your life. Simplicity and cutting down choices and dilemmas allow you to focus more attention on the things you want to put your energy into and you usually look great too. I’ve worked with some of the world’s top movers and shakers and have observed that, on the whole, they do not have complicated lives in terms of the clothes they wear or the food they eat. They have ‘restricted choice’ in areas that are necessary, such as their wardrobe, and this allows them ‘unrestricted choice’ in other areas. They have a strong sense of image and brand so their look will not fluctuate wildly. Consequently, their wardrobes will contain many of the same or similar items, perhaps in different colors or fabrics. Their food, which has probably been developed as a peak performance diet to keep them filled with energy without empty calories, will be quite limited. I’ve opened their fridges. They are not filled with the sort of bewildering variety that some are. There will be several of the same items in different flavors; protein shakes, for example, or crudités and different types of dip. Their brands go all the way through and when they don’t, that is when trouble arises. There is a great quote that says: “Be the person your dog thinks you are.” Another is: “Character is who you are when no one else is looking.” This is the hard part. Being always at one with yourself and your personal brand. Not being a public figure such as a preacher and then getting caught out in a sting when you use call girls. It is hypocrisy, but it is also a very uncomfortable life to lead, as when you know in your heart that you are not your authentic self, it really hurts. On the other hand, when you are in alignment with your personal values, you feel happier, and more at peace with yourself, and your confidence increases. You sleep better. You can move towards your goals, as you have a strong grounding. Bulletproof: Curveballs will come your way and you will make mistakes. See your mistakes as invaluable lessons. Learn from them. I used to have a sign next to my desk that said: “I’ve learned so much from my mistakes, I think I’ll make another.” Whilst this is not a life strategy, it is a salient lesson to always remember. Look up ‘heroic failures’ and find countless examples including Einstein who said: “It’s not that I am so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.” He had focus and perseverance. He was bulletproof to external criticism. When you hit bumps in the road, focus on the solution and how to fix it there and then. Just do it. Procrastination is just fear or a need for perfection and neither leads to great results or happy lives. In the novel La Peste by Albert Camus, there is a character called Grand who can never complete what he is writing. He must always know more before he can get it right, for example studying Latin, just so he can perfect his French and always find the right word. He has a constant search for knowledge to produce perfect prose, and because of it his writing lacks heart and is never finished. Do you think J.K. Rowling works like that? She creates some of the finest and most successful fiction in the world today. She plans meticulously, then sits down each day and puts those words onto paper, and this action together with her amazing imagination brings forth a rich world. If she was still procrastinating about whether Harry should be called Fred, hook up with Hermione, if he has a scar on his forehead or cheek, then millions of children (and adults) around the world would be deprived of the books, movies, and theme parks that her genius has spawned. An important step to being bulletproof is to stop comparing yourself to others. By all means ‘model’ and learn. Model is a more acceptable word for a copy. For example, you model your behavior in a new situation by imitating someone skilled in what you are trying to achieve. Just work out who you want to model. There is an overwhelming array of personal development books with numbers in the title and bespoke frameworks such as The 7 Habits of Highly Successful People, 7 Steps to Financial Freedom, The 4 Disciplines of Execution, and my own book Reset! A Blueprint for a Better Life. Most contain many gems of wisdom and some may be perfect for what you need at that time. Think of them as a car dealership. There are many models. Take some for a test drive, but choose the best one for you to drive around in or you will be back at the bus stop. Whatever advice you try on for size and then walk around with, you must know that fulfillment and success do not come simply because you read the right book or even that the universe decides life will all go according to your plan. There is no doubt in my mind that you can manifest many wonderful things in your life and that ultimately the universe (or greater force, God, or whatever you choose to call it and believe in) is not ‘out to get you’. It wants to support you. As people, jobs, business situations, and just about every aspect of your daily life throw up these curveballs, it can feel overwhelming and so many of us feel browbeaten and exhausted by the unrelenting demands of it all. The key is to become bulletproof to it or to see and learn the lessons in adversity. It is often in what appears to be the greatest moments of challenge that the greatest opportunities and growth arise. Admittedly, there are many challenges. Some workplaces and even home environments can be brutal. Things have come a long way in recent years (certainly in the West) in terms of employee rights and how people expect to be treated in the workplace, but bullying is rife, especially in national institutions, education, and healthcare. I know, as many people walk through my door feeling so crushed that they are about to walk away from not just a job but a vocation, and many do. They have months and months off with depression and sickness. It is little consolation that most bullies are weak and were probably bullied themselves. Hurt people hurt people, but when you are the one on the receiving end of the bullying or hurt, especially in a work situation, how do you become bulletproof to survive it? Well, one final hack for you is this. It is via a story I often share: A journalist goes to interview a holy man and while doing so he rubbishes most of his beliefs and everything he stands for. Throughout the insults and criticisms, the holy man continues to smile, even beam with happiness and contentment. Finally, the journalist says in exasperation: “I don’t understand why you are smiling. I have just criticized and mocked you!” The holy man replies: “If you offer me a gift and I do not accept that gift who has it?” “Why I do,” says the journalist. “Exactly,” replies the holy man. “I don’t accept your criticisms; they belong to you and they can stay with you.” If you would love to be more bulletproof or balanced, to realign your inner happiness to your outer success then let’s talk. You can book a Discovery Call in my online diary Or would you like my FREE eBook: Reset Your Lifeplan: 25 Proven Strategies for a blueprint for success. Yes: then follow this link today and email hello@rosalynpalmer.com and let’s take it from there. Follow Rosalyn on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and visit her website for more info. Read more from Rosalyn! Rosalyn Palmer, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Rosalyn Palmer is an award-winning transformational coach and therapist and one of the Brainz 500 Global 2021 list of Companies, Entrepreneurs, Influential leaders and Small business owners recognized for their entrepreneurial success, achievements, or dedication to helping others. Her work combines advanced rapid transformational therapy with clinical hypnotherapy & NLP-based coaching to create deeply desired changes. She works 1-2-1 with clients and via her group courses including the 13-week The Realigned Leader and The Realigned Life transformations. As the best-selling author of the award-winning self-help book: ‘Reset! A Blueprint for a Better Life’ and three other Amazon bestsellers, Rosalyn makes emotional wellbeing accessible to all. She enables high performers to live their best lives that feel as good inside as they look on the super-successful outside. Rosalyn draws on extensive business experiences in top London PR & Marcomms (‘retiring’ as a self-made millionaire at age 40 after a stellar career helping clients including Tony Robbins and Edward de Bono) and the insight of being conflicted when the outward vision of your life doesn’t serve you. Added to this are her deeper values and life experiences born from many challenges including cancer; redundancy; bereavement; menopause; divorce; a financial loss that broke her open to finding out what really matters in life and how to live a life of balance and joy. As a natural communicator, she is the well-being expert for the radio show Girls Around Town, has a monthly newspaper column, and two podcast series: Monkey Business and Life Alchemy.

The world is constantly changing: new technologies are emerging, the pace of life is getting faster, and the amount of information is growing every day. To keep up with all the changes, it is important to learn and develop. Today we’ll talk about good habits that will help simplify learning. #1. Psyching up To develop good habits for studying, first of all, you need to properly psych yourself up, that is, mentally prepare for learning. This will help certain rituals that will accompany your training. For example, put a mug of your favorite tea on the table every time or light a candle. This will mean that now is the time for productive work. When such a ritual becomes a habit, it will be easier for the brain to tune in to learning. #2. Self-reward Rewarding yourself can be another useful habit for self-development. Our brain loves to be praised. BBC study proved that compliments make a person feel better and become more productive. Set yourself rewards for learning blocks of information (for example, for reading a book or listening to a podcast). As a reward, you can buy something for your collection, attend a concert, SPA or even go for a weekend out of town or to a massage in Dubai. Massage is generally an ideal gift – it will not only give positive emotions, but also improve health. If the massage session was carried out correctly, then lightness, relaxation, tone in the body and purity of mind are usually felt. Important! So that the reward was something desired, but not necessary. Don’t set food as praise: you should always eat well, regardless of training. #3. Mnemonics Mnemonics are techniques that help you remember information quickly and efficiently. At school, we often taught the rules with funny rhymes and phrases. You can come up with your own abbreviations, rhymes, associations, etc. If you need to learn foreign words, try to associate them with different objects. Using these habits for self-development, you will be able to absorb the material more easily. We recommend developing this skill every day for 5-10 minutes. #4. Refusal of self-criticism Self-criticism is not always a good habit. Sometimes it can lead to anxiety and depression. The more we blame ourselves for our own failures, the worse our mood and well-being, and this is a direct path to serious psychological problems. Therefore, don’t reproach yourself too much for the difficulties that arise in your studies. Analyze your actions by asking yourself questions: “What can I do better next time? What other topic do I need to study to make this question more clear? Who can help me to study this topic? This method will help you stop criticizing yourself if you made a mistake or did not take the time to study a certain issue. #5. Discipline Discipline is an important habit for those who want to achieve serious results. And here you need to clearly understand why you need self-development, what global goal ignites you for this activity. For example, learn Spanish to travel around the world. Also, a necessary condition for good discipline is the resource state. If you are filled with energy, it will be easier for you to take actions, even if at the moment they are boring and uninteresting. These useful habits for self-development will allow you to competently organize the learning process. To develop discipline, create for yourself the right conditions for learning: the psychological mood, the environment, the time allocated according to the plan, and the necessary materials. Try to build perseverance and diligence. Always keep motivation in mind and don’t forget about the goal. This will help to avoid lengthy preparation and, as a result, postponing important tasks. Move towards the goal in steps: set mini-tasks and deadlines for their implementation (for example, read four books in a month, that is, you need to read one book a week). If you can’t become disciplined, work on bad habits: gadget addiction, entertainment abuse, etc. *** Despite the fact that good habits for self-development should be present in our lives every day, a person cannot study around the clock. If you constantly overload the brain, problems with productivity, health and emotional state can begin. Therefore, when planning a day, determine the time not only for training, but also for rest.

Safia Haque is an Effortless Parenting Coach, a Speaker, and a Home-Educator. After going through a life-changing Psychological Paradigm Shift that made her parenting effortless, non-reactive, and peaceful. She is on a mission to take one parent per family through the powerful Inside-Out transformation. She is the creator of the Effortless Parenting Course and is working with parents worldwide to raise happy, healthy, and confident children without any guilt, stress, or worry. Safia Haque, Parenting Coach Who is Safia? I am a Mum of two boys and one girl and live with my husband in the UK. About 4 years ago I came across the Psychological Paradigm also known as the Psychological Switch, Inside-Out Paradigm, and The Three Principles as originally articulated by Sydney Banks. The paradigm shifted my life from being on the brink of divorce and having constant Mum guilt about not doing enough to transforming my marriage and finally becoming the parent I always dreamed to be. Now I am on a mission as an Effortless Parenting Coach to take one Parent per household on earth through the Psychological Switch and to make parenting effortless and peaceful through life-changing insights and realizations about the true nature of our minds and emotions. What is it that you do for your clients? Probably the best way I can describe it is that I take parents from being overwhelmed, stressed out, and not knowing what to do when facing new situations and challenges with their children to becoming a calm, confident, and empowered Parent that knows how to take care of their child in the best way possible. My Coaching is not about positive thinking yourself out of our problems, but it's about knowing where your thinking is coming from in the first place. It's not just about using some techniques that might or might not work for your children, it's about tailor-made solutions for your family, that makes sense to you as a parent and is not just someone else's good idea you have to try to copy. It's not about only having a positive attitude towards parenting and trying to force yourself to think in a certain way around the subject. I help clients see much deeper into the nature of positive thinking and that sometimes we will see it and sometimes we won’t. I help clients see that it is not about getting some quick fix and then trying to live happily ever after and getting frustrated when you fail again, but it's a permanent and lasting transformation that is far superior, once you have insightfully realized the true nature of the power of Thought itself. It's not about me holding your hand and telling you what to do, but it's about facilitating a space where we make your vision and goals happen without stress and anxiety. I am also not trying to fix my clients because they were never broken in the first place but about waking up to the reality of where our experience of life is actually coming from and where it is actually not coming from. Who should hire/work with you? Every Parent, who wants to break the pattern of stressful and overwhelmed parenting and finally put the joy and connection back into their relationship. If you want to pass on the best version of yourself to your children and want to wake up every day, knowing that whatever challenge your kids through at you you will be just fine, then come and work with me, as this is exactly what my Coaching program will do for you. What do you wish you had known sooner? The only truth that I wished I had known sooner, is the Psychological Law of how our mind works i.e the fact that “Feelings come from Thought in the moment and nowhere else”. If I had known that sooner in my life I would have saved myself and my family from a lot of unnecessary suffering as my mentor Dr. Keith Blevins puts it. If I had known that sooner, I would have shared it with a lot more parents by now and would have saved them from a lot of unnecessary suffering too. What are your 3 top tips for Parents of today? Smile more and be light hearted with your kids. Choose your battles, connection is more important than a tidy room. Given that we don’t life in large family units anymore, get help and support for yourself, as it is hard doing it on your own. Being part of a group of other parents that are all floating towards the same goals is awesome, empowering and the best way to achieve your parenting goals too. What is your big goal? My biggest goal is to end needless parental suffering, I love all parents, I think its the best role in the world, and I think it has been made very hard for parents and my mission is to make it easier and bring back the joy and connection back into the relationship between parents and kids. It is really our busy minds and the stresses of daily life that keep getting in the way of really enjoying the companionship of our children and the more I can help parents quieten their minds and take the stress away the better their and their kids lives become. So I am on a mission to take one parent per household on Earth through the Psychological Switch because it just takes one person to transform to help the whole family transform. For more info, follow me on Fac ebook , Instagram , LinkedIn and visit my web site ! Read more from Safia!

Written by: Catherine Swanson, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Jessica sits in her car, absent-mindedly gazing at the motel she spent the night in. An unexpected rapping on her window interrupts her thoughts. A stranger stares in at her, an ear-to-ear grin pinned on his face. He motions for her to roll down her window and although she feels uneasy, complies. “You recognize me? I was the one on the road who cut you off yesterday.” He pauses to smile again before continuing. “Sorry about that. I was texting, got distracted.” Jessica holds her breath in disbelief, unable to break eye contact. “You live around here?” His tone so casual it isn’t. “No, not really.” “Where you headed?” “North.” “I’m around this way all the time…You have a name?” “Don’t you dare continue to appease this person!” I yell at the TV, a tiny piece of me believing she might hear me, and the course of the movie might change from the foreshadowed dark path. “Jessica,” She half whispers, her wide, glossy eyes locked on his, as if something had her frozen in place and compelled her to obediently provide answers. Although I was watching a fictional horror film (Alone, 2020) replete with hyperbole, the initial exchange between the killer and his victim demonstrates the obligation we feel to be nice to others even when we’re so uncomfortable our bodies alert us it’s wrong. Our habit of being agreeable allows us to fall into slippery-slope conversations, ending us up in situations we would prefer not to be in. Yes, most of us understand the danger of letting our guard down for a stranger, but someone doesn’t have to fantasize about holding you against your will in a remote log cabin to be motivated to test your boundaries. There are those at our work, in our family, our social groups, dating, and passers-by who when we reflect later concerning everyday interaction(s) with them, we wonder “What happened? Why did they do that? How did I even get here?” Just like Jessica’s run-in at the motel with the same person who terrorized her miles away on the highway the day before, events that seem co-incidental or ordinary in the present, can build on one another into the dramatic climax you didn’t predict. Boundary-pushers write a scene where you compliantly cast yourself in the role of their supporting actor. Your character has the potential to stick around to be part of an act, the full feature, parts II and III and even the entire Saga. But before receiving your invitation to play this integral role, you’ll undergo boundary testing to see how you react to specific verbal and non-verbal(physical) stimuli. Boundary testing begins the instant you engage with a boundary-pusher and at first won’t look much (if any) different than interactions with anyone else. That’s why it’s so important to have support when reflecting on toxic relationships and an understanding of how essential setting boundaries is in ordinary life with everyone you interact with. At THE GRAND LIFE Coach, we believe in prioritizing our self-worth over our perceived value, regardless of our income level, achievements, accolades or current status. Our bold choice stems from our commitment to living the FOUR PILLARS FOR A GRAND LIFE – Truth, Kindness, Love & Strength. We will never completely prevent people from testing us who would eagerly erode our Strength to further their own agenda, but we can learn their playbook and identify their game quickly. A look inside “The Boundary Pushers’ Playbook” reveals four methods of how they hook you 1. They immediately find common ground by making rational statements and asking reasonable questions. Have you ever heard someone say, “They were so nice/fun/charming/cool/normal at first and now it’s like they’ve become a different person!” It’s not typical for anyone to progress in conversation by being awkward. People who push boundaries are, well, people. And people get to know each other by being relatable. They point to your athletic team t-shirt and high-five in solidarity while asking how long you’ve been a fan. They chat with you at the coffee station and agree that Mondays are the worst. They sit behind you in your Saturday class and are curious about what brought you back to school. Before you know it, you’ve told them your dog’s name and you’re following each other on Instagram. Normal. The degradation of the relationship's healthy normalcy can happen within one conversation or cycle over many years. The following examples demonstrate that it’s not until examining how events unfolded that the average person identifies the boundary testing present in the beginning. 2. They don’t take the first “no” for an answer Robert was thrilled when he signed his contract to join a new accounting team. The previous company he worked for was disorganized and understaffed and as a result, he was responsible for an impossible workload. He felt guilty coming home after 8:00pm most nights and was sad he was missing out on the ritual of he and his wife bathing their new son and putting him in the crib. “I candidly explained to the recruiter that I love my work but being able to leave by a specific time each day was my motivation for making a change. The recruiter emphasized to me how the company’s new work-life balance initiative gives employees flexibility by allowing them to choose from schedule blocks. My future supervisor confirmed the new policy in my interview and assured me I would be able to leave at my scheduled time. She also agreed with me about how important it is to disengage from work after hours and be fully present with family. Two weeks into the job she missed our scheduled one-on-one and called me an hour after I left work. What I was assured would be a 10-minute conversation was almost an hour. I was annoyed, but I thought she was just catching up because I was new. I hoped it would be a one-time thing, but she missed our meeting again the next week. At my scheduled quitting time, she rushed over to ask me to stick around for our meeting. I politely reminded her I had the baby at home and no, I couldn’t stay. She mentioned that she is a mom and then started asking me about my son. Somehow, the conversation got back around to work, and she was instructing me to bring my laptop into the conference room and open a document to review together. I didn't leave for another hour.” Robert expressed he was blind-sided. “She and I connected so well in the interview about work and family.” Though when prompted to reflect on the entirety of the interview, Robert recalled she was roughly 30 minutes late, repeatedly checked her watch and interrupted him to take a phone call. He assumed those distractions were simply a co-incidence of her having a busy day, but later identified them as boundary tests. When and what was Robert’s first “no”? When he told the recruiter and supervisor he needs to leave on time each day. He was saying, “No, I will not stay late because I set boundaries between my work and home life.” Given how the events unfolded, when did the supervisor first test Robert to see if he meant it? When she showed up 30 minutes late for the interview. She was signaling to him that the company policy wasn’t realistic and if he were going to be a fit, he would have to be flexible with his time. 3. They will be on their best behavior 99% of the time Rosa was excited for the second date; seeing live music at a neighborhood lounge. Not only was the guy attractive, she had already connected with him through deep conversations. She even knew he was verifiably single because she met him through a close friend who assured her of his interest in a relationship. “It was a little chilly outside. A few songs in, he put his arm around me, and it felt good! I was excited because I thought he must be attracted to me, so I leaned in a little. A minute later he started rubbing my shoulder, then squeezing it a little too hard. My body stiffened and I tried to lean away. By the end of the song, his hand was aggressively moving from my neck and up and down my back. I was embarrassed because we were in a public place, and he hadn’t even held my hand or kissed me before. I didn’t say anything because I am attracted to him and didn’t want to make it a big deal when he was probably just trying to be romantic. I know he’s a gentleman because after he dropped me off at home, he called me and we talked for two hours. In the past, other men had pressured me for sex already, but he’s really trying to get to know me.” A week later, Rosa’s new love interest canceled their third date last minute. It wasn’t a big deal to her because he provided a valid reason, and they were still getting to know each other. She didn’t hear from him again for two weeks until he called and asked her to join him the next afternoon. They met at a popular park busy with other couples and families. He orchestrated an elaborate picnic accenting their large blanket with catered charcuterie, sunflowers and Prosecco. Rosa found herself again wrapped up in meaningful conversation, enchanted by his emotional sophistication. He gently ran his fingers through her hair while she took a breath and dreamily closed her eyes. She anticipated a lingering but brief touching of their lips. Instead, he initiated a heated make-out session with one hand tangled in her hair resting on her shoulder and the other flat on her abdomen. “I was uncomfortable and went stiff. He didn’t seem to notice, so I pulled backwards, but he leaned further in, so I fell to my back to catch my breath. I laughed it off as an awkward new couple moment. Besides that, it was such a romantic afternoon and he’d gone above and beyond to make it nice for me. I didn’t want to say anything to send mixed messages. I can’t quite explain it, but I feel anxious about missing out on him.” Rosa felt uneasy about the behavior of someone she was just getting to know, but the majority of what she felt was excitement. That was enough to compel her to continue to not only explore him, but to invalidate the two incidents that made her uncomfortable. She rationalized this by stating, “I don’t want to miss out on a great guy just because he’s a little too into PDA.” Given how the events are unfolding, how do we know, despite 99% of his gestures seeming romantic, that the remaining 1% exposes him as a boundary pusher? Because he ignored her physical reactions when her body language demonstrated she wasn’t comfortable. He was signaling to her that he liked being physically aggressive, even when she didn’t reciprocate. 4. They appeal to your identity as a rational, easy-going and/or helpful person Skye and Keisha were teammates on their college tennis team. Also, roommates, the two of them spent most of their time together throughout the four years. “I saw Keisha as not only my best friend, but my guiding light. She was that outgoing, nice girl who everyone wanted to be friends with. So when she teased me in front of our peer group, it hurt my feelings, but I brushed it off, assuming it was just what close friends do. Then, she came up with a code word to let me know at social events when I needed to tone down my excitement and lower my voice. I figured she was just concerned about my self-awareness, even though I thought I was naturally expressing myself.” Years after graduation, Skye still considered Keisha her best friend and the two women remained intertwined in each other’s daily lives. When Keisha got engaged, she ceremoniously extended ten friends the honor of serving as her bridesmaids. Skye was dumbfounded when saw the pictures on Facebook, her name missing from the tags. Later, Keisha suggested it wasn’t personal by half-heartedly explaining the wedding photos wouldn’t be symmetrical with an odd number of people. “I was really shocked she didn’t ask me, but I really wanted to be part of this important life event and make it special for her. I was instrumental in helping with tasks to prepare for the wedding, took photos at the shower and gave her a nice gift. When everyone went for a dress fitting, I was asked to fill in for a girl who couldn’t make it. I stood in front of everyone while the dress I was wearing was pinned to be worn by someone else. I acted like everything was fine, but the moment I got home, I collapsed into tears. That’s when I finally had to face she didn’t value our friendship the way I did.” Given how the events unfolded, when was it apparent Keisha knew Skye was so easy-going she would go along with whatever Keisha wanted? When Keisha ridiculed Skye in front of other people and instructed how she should behave, Skye complied. Keisha was signaling to Skye that she was not her equal and was required to follow specific guidelines to be worthy of Keisha’s friendship. Now that you have a piece of the playbook – let’s train When studying these examples, it’s easy to string together the events and see how each person was tested, and then their boundaries pushed. But how do you know for sure in the beginning the person you’re dealing with is leading you somewhere you’re unaware of? You don’t always. The better question is, “How do I learn to better relate to every person I engage with?” That’s why you work on establishing who you are and building Strength so that you can confidently engage with anyone without being tuned-out or hyper vigilant. You need to sharpen your skills so that you formulate responses directly in relation to the verbal and non-verbal stimuli in your environment. A great way to learn is to observe others and how they respond to one another. What is their body language saying? Words? Tones of voice? Subtly observe couples and families in the grocery store, at restaurants or the mall. Go to the gym or recreation area and see how strangers navigate sharing equipment and the space to use it. Sit quietly while your friends or colleagues banter, and observe behavior while your leadership addresses the team in meetings. Another way to train is through viewing cinema. A great movie or TV show entertains while aptly demonstrating the boundary testing/pushing/breaking/setting dance. A few strong examples include: Alone (thriller), Vacation Friends (comedy), Power Franchise (drama), Homicide Hunter (documentary), Daddy’s Home (comedy), House of Cards (drama) and The Big Bang Theory (comedy). When you watch, start asking which characters are after something and how they enlist others to get it. How does a character say “yes” or “no”? Is it clear? Do they stick to it? What are the stakes involved that influenced their entanglement with the pusher? Start to reflect on similar situations from your own life. Then, write them down and look for patterns. What was appealing about the person? When did you first feel uncomfortable with their behavior? Why or why didn’t you address it? What was the moment you realized they weren’t the person you believed them to be in the beginning? What would you change about the outcome if you could? I also invite you to visit my website where you can read about what a GRAND LIFE is and why I built my life coaching method on Truth, Kindness, Love and Strength. I offer consultations where I’d be interested to hear your story and explore how I might coach you in becoming a master at boundary setting and achieve True Success in your life and relationships. Follow me on LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Catherine Swanson, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Catherine is the creator of The GRAND LIFE Coaching Method (TM), an original life and relationship program founded upon a decade of research. Her structured, interactive method is based on her FOUR PILLARS FOR A GRAND LIFE (TM) – Truth, Kindness, Love and Strength. She utilizes these values as the foundation for coaching individuals to prioritize their self-worth over their perceived value and achieve True Success.

Written by: Gail Kauranen Jones, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. When life is going smoothly and you are in the flow, it is far easier to have a greater sense of your innate worthiness. Yet, during the tender times when things are not working out as you hoped, you may doubt your worth. Feeling stressed, stuck or challenged, you may start spiraling down into negative self-talk—spending too much time focusing on your less-than perfect circumstances versus the essence of who you are. Stop, and remember the qualities that make you unique, whether it’s your creativity, kindness, sense of humor, sensitivity, intellectual curiosity or some other attribute. I share more of becoming empowered in this deeply personal story of claiming my own worthiness to LIVE, following a breast cancer diagnosis, in this recent podcast. With May being mental health awareness month, it is an excellent time to commit to a daily practice of claiming (or reclaiming) YOUR worthiness. Here are six tips for finding your worthiness: WORTHINESS IS AN INSIDE JOB “Worthiness is not based on external circumstances. Nothing outside of you can give you the worthiness you must find within. Worthiness isn’t about what you have; it’s about WHO you are.” ‒ Gail Kauranen Jones 1. TREAT YOURSELF WITH LOVE AND COMPASSION, NOT JUDGMENT. Realize you did NOTHING wrong for not feeling worthy. You just did not get the proper nurturance that instilled the core belief of worthiness during the first critical seven years of life, or were later tossed a curveball (like a health scare, divorce, or job loss, for example) that threw you off-center. 2. ASK YOURSELF: “What would your life look like if you knew you were worthy?” Create a vision board of some of the ways life will manifest when you know you are worthy. 3. IT TAKES VIGILANCE, and time spent daily of repeating this statement: “I allow myself to know I am worthy.” It is best to repeat the mantra the first five minutes in the morning and last five minutes before going to bed at night—and a few times during the day. 4. EMBRACE PATIENCE AND COMMITMENT: You must continually monitor your inner chatter and repeat the above statement for a minimum of 63 days, as some neuroscientists believe that is the length of time it takes to change a belief (and I think it can take longer or shorter depending on your age and life circumstances). 5. GIVE YOURSELF AT LEAST 20 minutes a day of “me,” time, which teaches your brain that you are worthy of being a priority. That time can be spent meditating, enjoying an Epson salt bath, or lighting a candle and playing soft music. The key is focusing this alone time on “being,” not doing. The brain also needs space, times of not being task-driven, to take in new possibilities. 6. JOT DOWN EVIDENCE of worthiness showing up in your life. The physical act of writing down the evidence trains the brain to look for more. Examples: Look for upgrades in your life—Are you dating higher quality people? Working in a job where you are valued? Having more balance between work and play in your life to feel fulfilled and grounded? As you continue to claim your value, choose to become increasingly aware of ways you act unworthy, such as: You settle for less than you deserve. You are afraid to say “No” and therefore often give others priority over your time. You focus more on what others think of you than what you think of yourself. You expect to be disappointed rather than pleased. You are not paid your worth and do not ask for proper compensation. You do allow yourself to receive. You over-give and attract takers. You stay small versus risking expressing your greatness. (You’re afraid to stand out.) As you notice these unworthy behaviors, be kind to yourself. These ways of thinking or acting were often conditioned in before you had the discernment skills to know you deserved more. The more aware you become, the more able you will be to make empowering choices going forward. Remember, it takes time. If you are 40, 50 or 60 years old, for example, it is unlikely you will instantly gain a renewed sense of worthiness based on one action or thought after decades of feeling otherwise. We are all works in progress, who thrive best when we focus on excellence, not perfection. Celebrate each step forward in claiming your worthiness. To learn more: Follow me on Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram, or Twitter, or visit the home page of my website to listen to my free guided meditation on worthiness. I also offer a complimentary, 30-minute consult to explore guiding you forward to living your best life. Read more from Gail! Gail Kauranen Jones, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Gail Kauranen Jones (known as “Coach Gail Jones”) is an intuitive coach, gifted wordsmith and inspiring teacher who has been leading clients through transformation for more than twenty years. She is the author of two books, "Cancer as a Love Story: Developing the Mindset for Living," and "To Hell and Back… Healing Your Way through Transition." Passionate to get to the root causes of blocks that hold clients back and then help them create empowering new beliefs to move forward, Gail delved deep after going through her own journey of healing from breast cancer. She learned some profound ways to optimize health and well-being including claiming one’s worthiness to live and thrive. Gail trained with world-renowned neuroscientists in guiding clients to rewire the brain for new levels of personal and professional success. She has appeared as a guest “worthiness coach” nationally in the US on CBS TV’s Emmy award-winning talk show The Doctors and on Sirius XM Radio. She also was hired to train several hundred HeartMath coaches globally on her worthiness platform, with her signature presentation, “The journey to the heart of worthiness.” She is the host of her own podcast, “Claim Your Worthiness: Intimate Conversations with Gail Jones,” which features national thought leaders and handpicked experts and others who have transformed their lives to serve.

Written by: Denise Drinkwalter, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. We have been communicating as humans, long before we could actually talk. Think of young babies and how they get their basic needs met. They cry, someone responds until the message is received. If it isn’t what they needed they will continue to cry and ta-da communication has begun. Practice makes perfect ‒ doesn’t it? We have practiced communication our whole life, yet we continue to have difficulties in our relationships which centers around two primary foci. One being money, which I am not going to talk about here, the other BIG one is communication Why do people misunderstand messages? What causes the stress, conflict, issues and concerns when we are communicating? There are a lot of little components that make up effective communication, some of which we are aware of, some of which we have never been subjected to or taught, and other components that we have forgotten about or rarely use. So if you find that your messages are not being received, you find yourself feeling isolated or alone in a conversation, or conversations are one-sided and you are not being heard here are some actionable tips you can use to help change the conversation! Tips to effective communication: PURPOSE- know the purpose and goal of your conversation. Think about the ultimate goal of what you are trying to achieve by sharing your thinking and when you have this goal in mind, guide and ask questions that promote your end goal. TIMING- knowing when to have a conversation and how to proceed is key to successful conversations. Just because it is important to you at the time, does not always mean it is top of mind for others. Giving time and space and ensuring that you have a focused audience for important matters to be discussed is critical for effective communication. HOW- there are a variety of ways that one can communicate, including text, audio recordings, videos and face to face. If you are needing to experience an enriching conversation that has you visually assessing the impact of your message then use of video or face to face is important. CHECK IN- checking in with yourself, your body responses, and your emotions is necessary to ensure that you are not being triggered by yourself or the situation. When in heightened emotional state you can readily lose sight of the purpose of the conversation and thereby increasing the chances of not being heard. UNDERSTANDING- ensure that what you have said has actually been heard. This can be done by asking using this simple sentence: “What did you hear me say?”. This will allow you to back check and make sure that your information has been heard correctly. That is the part of the conversation you can control and ensure is accurate. Try these strategies next time you have a conversation that requires listening, input and collaborative efforts. These techniques are important in any conversation you have no matter what the topic or with whom you are speaking. Communication is a complex act, which “we” have been participating in for years and there is always room for improvement, so you can make your voice heard. If you want to learn more about Communicating and developing stronger, healthier relationships contact Denise. Learn how you communicate and where she can help you strengthen your communication and build better relationships for YOU, by YOU, BECAUSE of YOU. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Denise! Denise Drinkwalter, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Denise Drinkwalter is an Empowerment Life Coach fulfiling extraordinary work with women in their midlife years. She has an intuitive gift that affords her the ability to assist women in gaining clarity, perspective, and strength from within. Denise’s specialty is supporting women experiencing the complexity, strain and stressors of the Empty Nester Syndrome. Denise’s expert guidance assists women to tap into aspects of themselves they have never explored. Women who work with Denise share that she has a unique gift, a genuine kindness, and the ability to help women release burdens, expectations and false beliefs that they have carried around for years. With her unique perspective and experiences she brilliantly institutes her powerful listening skills and intuitive gifts to hear, appreciate and connect with everyone she meets. She consistently employs her elite level coaching skills, leaving a trail of positivity, expansion and soul led growth with whomever she has the privilege to guide. Denise has been featured on a variety of Podcasts sharing her expertise as a Certified Priestess Numerologist, a Parenting Coach for Empty Nesters, and maintains a full-time coaching role in the Clutter Boss Academy. Denise’s signature 8- week course Cut the Cord-Not the Ties is a complete game-changer for all Moms experiencing the Empty Nester Syndrome.

Written by: Heidi Richards Mooney, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Do you participate in an online forum, one that has a small but targeted group of highly motivated, successful individuals each with a similar goal of achieving great success? These groups can have long-term benefits because you come into contact with people you might never meet or have the opportunity to interact with, without the platform that social media offers. They too can offer similar outcomes of the more traditional masterminds; to learn from a variety of perspectives, to get ideas from more people, to brainstorm ways to tackle everyday challenges… and more. My definition of a mastermind group: A group of people who meet on a regular basis to exchange ideas, seek the advice of the group, be held accountable to following thru on your commitments and to share resources; a mastermind group can be the epicenter of new ideas.” If you are like other small business owners, you may feel isolated and that no one really understands the challenges you face in your business. A Mastermind Group will help you feel less isolated and alone. Over the years, I have been involved in several masterminds. Some of them meet/met in person, some were and are online exchanges between female speakers around the world. Some were started by others and I was invited to attend, some were started or co-founded by me. Regardless of who started the group, each of them has helped me both professionally and personally, taking my businesses to new levels of success and helping me to crystalize my purpose in life and set the goals required to achieve my purpose) both long-term and immediate. My mastermind groups have helped me to find out what it was I was really working toward, helped me set and achieve goals as well as offering the kind of encouragement that was necessary when things didn’t always go my way. There are several benefits you can receive from participating in a mastermind group. Before deciding which group to get involved in or to start, you must first ask yourself what it is you want from a mastermind group as well as what you can contribute to the group. Highly successful mastermind groups work best when you follow a few simple guidelines: People - When deciding who would best fit in your group, choose people who have specialized knowledge you lack. Enlisting people with very different outlooks strengthens a mastermind group. Time - Make a time commitment and stick to it. It doesn’t matter if you meet once a week or once a month. The point is that when you decide the frequency, make the commitment, and don’t allow anything except serious emergencies to interfere with your date. Focus - Create an agenda to follow. This provides a sense of order during your meetings. Sample agendas might include an open discussion at the beginning of the meeting and then focusing on individual challenges for about 20 minutes each. One of my groups focused on one member’s challenge each meeting with the others offering their feedback or advice. Each member gets her turn to share. This is very powerful because each of us learns something from the other’s challenges. My online group meets in a “chat room” and we each ask a question (there are 5 of us). The other 4 offer their responses. We meet for approximately one hour and we have an open discussion at the end of the meeting if there is time. Simplicity - Keep it Small and Simple. If your group is too large you run into the challenge of everyone not having sufficient time to present their own challenges. Groups of 4 to 7 seem to work best. The Rules - Decide on your rules of engagement in the very beginning. In many of my groups, we openly discuss details of our companies with the understanding that our “inside” secrets” are never divulged outside of our group. What happens in a mastermind should stay in that mastermind. You may even consider having everyone sign a non-disclosure agreement before they are accepted into the group, especially if sensitive information may be shared. Structure - Depending on the nature of your group you might consider assigning a facilitator for each meeting to keep the group on target. You learn to facilitate by doing it. Be Accountable - Another key component I should mention is that a true mastermind has an accountability component – that means we help one another achieve our goals by asking how we are doing, offering encouragement and “holding our feet to the fire” when we share our goals and our timelines for achieving them. Loosen Up - Yes, it's important to take your work seriously as well as those of the other members of your group. But it's also important to make your meetings interesting, and yes, even fun. If it's too serious, it will be more difficult to create a feeling of camaraderie and trust. I love the interaction and dynamic flow of ideas that occur during my mastermind group meetings and cannot wait to get to work on everyone’s suggestions. It is exciting to see the results and bask in the knowledge that my goals were achieved more easily and, in less time, than had I done it ‘on my own.’ When you participate in a mastermind group you will see an immediate change in how you approach your own challenges. And the other benefit is that it makes you really look at problems from a new perspective – you find that business owners are more alike than different even when we “sell” a different product or solution to our own target audience. “Being involved in mastermind groups for more than 25 years has been more rewarding for me than I could ever describe, in that I have received so much more than I could ever give back.” If you are stuck, in a rut or simply need some guidance on the next steps to take to achieve your goals, consider participating in a mastermind group (or start one of your own). Amy Poehler said it best: "I want to be around people that do things. I don’t want to be around people anymore that judge or talk about what people do. I want to be around people who dream, and support, and do things." Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Heidi! Heidi Richards Mooney, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Heidi is a professional speaker (past president for Floridas Speakers Association) an author, coach, small business owner, internet marketing and social media expert who specializes in helping clients get their Website, Blog, and social media channels noticed. She teaches audiences how to GROW their business using targeted social media channels including Facebook, Linkedin, Twitter, YouTube, Instagram and Pinterest. Heidi is also the publisher of several online magazines including WE Magazine for Women, Women of Wisdom Magazine, Marketing Small Business Magazine, Inventing Women Magazine, and Flowers Galore Magazine. She brings a unique combination of experience, technical expertise, and traditional marketing skills as well as creative new marketing approaches to maximize her clients online and social media presence. "

Written by: Merrill Isherwood, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Time knows no status. We all have the same amount of time available to us each day. No-one gets preferential treatment. No-one is discriminated against. Whether rich, poor, old, young, educated, or un-, royalty, commoner, we get twenty-four hours per day. The decisions we make about how we manage that time allocation is up to us. Importance of time management We constantly read in the media how important time management is, but is it always? No, it isn’t. An old lady, retired for many years, comfortable in a retirement village, whose family she sees occasionally, has no time management stresses. Her only time responsibility is to be at the communal dining hall in time for her meals. Likewise, homemakers whose schedules, may include fetching children, are fairly flexible. As long as daily tasks are done, there are few time pressures. If one is working, commuting to work daily, caring for children, and have a busy social life, then yes, time management is important. For shift, critical care, health, or security workers, or in the event of a terminal illness, time is of the essence, or even critical. Time can never be recaptured or saved – all the more reason to spend it wisely. The acquisition of time management skills Several methodologies on strategic time management abound. The choice is yours, whether you use one in its totality, a combination of some, create your own version, or whether you use none at all. One of the simpler versions is the 4 D’s of time management originally outlined in the book, The Power of Focus, by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, and Les Hewitt. Do – take action Defer (delay) – postpone non-critical matters Delegate – reassign work, which may not require your specialised skills to others Delete – learn to say no without feeling guilty or justifying your choice. Eliminate time- wasters The 4 P’s (Coach Jenny Donato) Prioritisation – by deadline Planning – prepare for all eventualities. Get the required tools/information you need before you start Productivity – do not allow distractions. Split work into chunks. Focus on task until completion Positivity – Approach the task with positivity and energetically, assured of a successful outcome. Celebrate successes along the way My personal version of this is: Prioritise – what needs my urgent attention Ponder – contemplate the task. Ensure your and other stakeholders’ understanding of its intricacies Plan – what resources – info, tools are required to achieve the desired result? Put structure in place for each step of the process. Set time limits for each aspect of the task Push – push through to completion, avoiding distractions. Dwight Eisenhower’s Time Management Matrix A firm favourite, this was developed during his years as 34th President of the USA and in his roles of Supreme Commander and General in the Allied Forces during World War II. See below and example of the matrix. Example of Eisenhower’s Matrix (document formatting restricts the use of tables, see outlines below) Important & Urgent Do: Business report due tomorrow Finish project proposal Respond to all urgent emails Important, but Not Urgent Schedule: Staff meeting for next Tuesday Fine-tune project plan for September Start forecasts for next month Not Important, but Urgent Delegate: Minutes note-taking for staff meeting Responding to technical-related emails Arranging refreshments for meetings Not Important & Not Urgent: Delete: Unsubscribe to spam mails Cancel unnecessary meetings Reduce meeting lengths to 45 mins Stephen Covey’s Time management matrix and jar His matrix is similar to Eisenhower’s, but the jar story is unique. It tells the story of a philosophy professor who began a class by silently picking up a large, empty jar, proceeding to fill it with rocks about 2" in diameter. He asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed it was. He then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar, shaking it lightly. The pebbles rolled into the spaces between the rocks. He again asked if the jar was full. They agreed it was, laughing. He proceeded to pour sand into the jar, which seeped in amongst the pebbles and stones. He stated: "I want you to recognise this jar represents your life. The rocks are the important things – your family, partner, health, children – things that if everything else were lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are other things that matter, like your job, house, or car. The sand is everything else, the small stuff. If you put the sand in the jar first, there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you, critical to your happiness and wellbeing. Take care of the rocks first – the things that really matter, the rest is just sand." GTD (Getting things done) A productivity system developed by David Allen, described as a time management system, where he states: "there is an inverse relationship between things on your mind and those things getting done". He recommends tabulating all information related to the task out of one’s mind onto paper, enabling the mind to focus on each step required. This is explained in further detail in his book of the same name, published in 2015. The GTD method is the forerunner of peoples’ love of making lists. Pomodoro Technique Developed by Francesco Cirillo in the 1980’s, this technique focuses on working productively in chunks for 25 minutes, with a 5 minute break, before moving on to the next chunk. This is also referred to as blocking or batching. In usual circumstances, it is not easy to have 25 minutes with no distractions, but one must create an environment where this is possible. Pomodoro apps are now freely available to help you manage your time this way. Parkinson’s Law This is an assertion that "work expands to fill the time available for its completion." Seen as a reflection on bureaucracy in some companies, it was originally stated by Cyril Northcote Parkinson in an essay published in The Economist in 1955. It infers bureaucrats fill their time with mundane tasks with little focus on productivity. Where is your focus? Working to strict timelines enables one to focus better and to avoid distractions until the task is done. What distractions do you face? Are they important or are you postponing dealing with the task? Why? Fear, uncertainty? Once you identify the reason for your procrastination, you can address the issue and move forward. A single focus results in high productivity levels. Good planning is key Planning is like constructing the firm, fixed foundation of a house. Without it there is little likelihood the house will stand for long. Here are some tips that work for me: Ensure you allocate enough time for each task Work accurately Ensure clear, comprehensive communication to limit unnecessary correspondence Clarify what is required so you won’t have to redo it Be discerning when setting or accepting meetings. Where possible make use of telephonic/virtual means Categorise clients for call scheduling – remember the 80/20 rule Limit personal calls so your focus is on work during work hours Turn off notifications for social media on your mobile phone. Place it out of sight so you do not see notifications come through (unless you’re an emergency worker or need to attend to critical issues) Ask yourself: Why do you feel you have insufficient time? Is it reality or your perception? What takes up most of your time? Conclusion Find a methodology that works for you, taking the most relevant for you from the above, and adapting them to your needs. Implement and manage this daily, ensuring you allocate time in your busy schedule for self-care too. After all, you do deserve rest and leisure time! Want to learn more from Merrill? Follow her on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and visit her website. Read more from Merrill! Merrill Isherwood, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Merrill Isherwood is a life transformation coach who has spent much of her life being of service to others in the corporate world and her personal life. She has an exemplary work ethic and is driven by living a life of integrity, having honesty, kindness, trust, and respect as her core values. Her psychological counseling degree, supported by her accreditation in life coaching, allows her to ensure her clients are suitably supported in transforming their lives. She specializes in body image, lack of self-esteem, overcoming abusive or toxic relationships, finding life direction, forgiveness, and overcoming adversity. To her, a life well lived means making a difference in each person's life that you are fortunate enough to touch, even if only in the smallest way possible.