Written by: Lois Wagner, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
One of my earliest childhood memories of having toys was a fabulous doll that cried. I would have been around six or seven years old, and I can still see a vision of myself standing at the garden gate waiting for my dad to come home as my doll had stopped crying, and I just knew that he could fix it. He missed the train home, and I was so angry and upset that I threw my doll to the ground in one of my early dramatic moments. And guess what – my doll started crying!
My mom bought me a Sindy doll when I was ten or eleven. This was a rival version of the Barbie doll. My doll had the best wardrobe of all the dolls in the neighborhood. My sister was incredibly talented at sewing, and she made everything from swimsuits to fur coats for my Sindy.
When I turned thirteen, I decided I was too old for dolls and set up a table on the pavement and sold everything related to these childish pursuits. My mom was impressed by the amount of money I made and said I had a head for business. I was extremely proud of my accomplishment. Was this when the idea of becoming a career woman was first formulated?
Maybe. But it goes deeper than that.
Although I had dolls, I never played with them much. I preferred to play schoolteacher or librarian. My dolls were often my students in class or readers in my library.
From my first years in school, I enjoyed playing the role of teacher. I created a schoolroom in one of the outside buildings with desks, a blackboard, pens, pencils, rulers, and erasers. My mom supplied me with reams of paper which I turned into notebooks for my students. I would borrow books from my library next door to use as textbooks for my students.
Nobody wanted to play with me. All my friends wanted to play pretend house and mommy games with dolls and dens. I used to bribe my neighbors to play school with me when my Auntie Anne came to visit. She always brought at least three cakes with her. And when I sold my dolls, I lost my students and stopped playing teacher.
My mom used to drive the mobile library, and I would spend many hours on the library bus reading.
We had a servant’s room outside the house. I turned this into a library, collecting any book, comic, or other reading material I could lay my hands on. I created a catalog and made library cards for members. I made little pocket envelopes that I pasted in the back of each book where a card was placed to write the borrower's name and the date the book was checked out. I would then retain the card until the book was returned. I would also write the return date on the envelope in the book so the borrower knew when to return it. When the book came back, the card had to found and replaced in the pocket. This little library grew to be quite successful, with many books and numerous neighborhood members for most of my teenage years.
I had a very talkative and dramatic personality. From a little girl and into my late teens, I was always told to stop acting and to stop talking so much.
What has this all to do with my calling? With my career?
I wanted to study journalism and did not realize this dream as I met a man and chose him over education. By default, I landed a career in marketing. A successful career in marketing. I pursued this path for many years until I progressed into marketing consulting, then management consulting, and then Organisational Development consulting. I finally landed up in training, coaching, and public speaking.
Training, coaching, and speaking are my life’s purposes. I am passionate about what I do, and I do it well.
The lesson
What is the lesson from this childhood story? Why am I sharing this?
When your children and other family members, when your neighbors and friends, and when your clients are looking for guidance to decide on a career path, examine their interests and the natural talents that they displayed as children. You may find magic there.
Look at the game of schoolteacher that I played.
Teaching, helping others to learn and develop.
Look at what I do now.
Training and coaching, helping others to learn and develop.
Look at my passion for books.
Learning and developing a growth mindset.
Look at what I do now.
Learning and researching topics for my training, coaching, and speaking,
Look at what people always told me to stop doing.
Acting and talking.
Look at what I do now.
Talking and acting in training rooms and on stages (virtually and in-person).
Topics
And what do I train and coach and talk about?
Resilience, grit, and forgiveness.
These were traits I learned as a child.
I had a very dysfunctional childhood of poverty, drinking, fighting, and violence. The games I played helped me escape from the realities of the real world. And it helped me to develop that resilience, that ability to make sense of the misfortunes and deal with them. The grit came when I started to focus on a new reality, find a new path, a new focus that I could follow with persistence, perseverance, and passion. And finally, the forgiveness that I had to learn to give freely and compassionately to those who did the best that they could be based on their own life journeys. The forgiveness that set me free.
In future articles, I will discuss more about the journey from victim to survivor, to thriver, and beyond to freedom.
For more info, follow me on Instagram, LinkedIn, Youtube-Channel, and visit my website!
Lois Wagner, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Lois Wagner: Your friend for forgiveness. Helping you move from victim to survivor to thriver and beyond and then to freedom, after facing a life or business challenge or adversity.
Lois lost a business and went bankrupt. She was attacked, raped, and left for dead. She was forced into retirement and experienced many other challenges. Her work is based on these personal major adversities and life experiences. Lois learned to forgive (she forgave the rapist and the business partner who betrayed her) and moved on to a more rewarding and fulfilling life.
Lois guides you through building your resilience and grit, developing a growth mindset, energizing your mojo, and learn to forgive. This is achieved via one-on-one coaching, group masterminds, and keynote presentations.
Lois’s book – Walking Without Skin: A Journey of Healing – From Fear to Forgiveness to Freedom is part memoir and self-help guide.
Fly Free with Lois – Your Friend for Forgiveness
