Written by: Andrew David McDowell, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Choice… we take it for granted every day. Living in a democracy we are given the right to make choices for ourselves. Sometimes we make the choice to give our power away to others.
Ego Is The Enemy
Your boyfriend just made a comment to you that made you cringe. Out came words that criticized the way that you looked. It could be anything…your clothes…your hair…your makeup…a body part. It doesn’t matter what the target was…what matters is that he said it. It hurts. You want to lash out at him. Put him in his place. The ego just got called into action. Defend! Protect yourself! You lash out at him and an argument ensues. Maybe even a breakup.
Exchange of Power
Now, this presents you with a situation. You have to choose how you want to respond. If you decide to take his opinion as truth, you will begin to start to play tapes in your head that start criticizing yourself. “You are no good” you will say to yourself. Your ego begins to grow and you will defend yourself at all costs when faced with the same situation. You won’t open up to others and let them into your life. After all, you say to yourself, I am broken and can’t be fixed and who would want to love me anyway. What you have just done is give your power to someone else. They are right and you are wrong.
Love Versus Fear
If their statement is based on fear, they have just passed the baton to you and now you own the fear if you take it as truth. If what they are doing is criticizing the very item they worry about within themselves, their statement is based on fear. And now you own it. Not your power but their fear. That is what you now own. I changed the nature of my life when confronted with these statements when I started to dissect the reason behind what they said to me. Is it based on fear or love? If it is based on fear, then I won’t own it and retain my power. If it is based on love, then I will think about it and if I find in my heart some truth, I will put a plan of action together to improve upon it.
Choose What Serves Your Life Purpose
Your power lies in your ability to make choices that serve you. Choices that will enable you to grow into the person you want to be and are called to be. That is your power. When you make statements that others say at face value and don’t look at the motivations as to why they said them, you are giving away your power to make choices. We are here to love and to chase the fear out of our lives. That is the biggest choice you get to make. When you choose to love yourself, you are deciding to place a filter system in your experiences. A filter system that only allows words and experiences that serve your purpose to affect you. Be curious. Be critical. Ask yourself what the motivation is in other’s words. Only accept those that come from love.
Understand where your power is and don’t give it away to others. Make your own choices…choices that serve you and let you retain your power.
Andrew David McDowell, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Andy is an engineer by trade and a creative by nature. He spent 22 years with the Boeing Company, where he always felt more like a life coach than a boss. In 2002, he began his journey into entrepreneurship within a Corporation when he was asked to develop an Airspace Design Consulting business from scratch that would serve the global government market. Andy has a Bachelor’s Degree from Georgia Tech in Electrical Engineering and a Master’s Degree in Computer Information Systems from Georgia State. Naturally, his aviation work took him around the world and enabled him to work on high-profile projects ‒ such as preparing the Beijing and Sochi Airports for their respective Olympic Games.
