Written by: Lauraine McDonald, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
We come into this World with our unique body already formed. This body is equipped to withstand the most extraordinary experiences, circumstances, and extremes.
As babies, our minds and bodies are connected. They are one. They communicate and work together beautifully. As we grow older, our mind-body relationship diminishes, and many of us become separated from it. The main reason being trauma. We all experience traumatic events, and they shape part of who we become. One way of dealing with negative events is to move away from the event and the feelings we do not want to experience, and as humans, we do this by disconnecting from our bodies.
An amazing survival technique that most probably kept you alive. The result of this, however, is that you now primarily live from your head.
Once disconnected, it is all too easy to stay this way, so we continue growing up detached from ourselves. Most of us did not have anyone to teach us how to nurture through trauma and negative experiences and continue living from a deeply connected bodily place that we were born into, so we forget the beautiful and unique relationship we innately have.
Did your caregivers and teachers spend time sharing how miraculous, how functional, and how in-tune this vessel of yours is? Where have you shown how to stay connected to your body? Did they share with you that your body, this solid malleable form you inhabit, is energy? And because it is energy, can it be worked with and transformed in a way that works for your highest and greatest good?
No? Mine didn’t either.
And it was most likely not for any other reason than lack of knowledge. We forget about the mind-body connection if there is no one to teach us.
Most people in this world don’t live in a culture or society where the body is revered. We take it for granted. For the most part, our bodies function without us having to think about it. We get up every morning and expect it to work, to function properly, and to run all day as we want. We don’t think to be grateful for our bodies and nurture them as they are and back to a healthy state.
For example, we get angry with it when it hurts. We speak to it badly if it is tired, and most of us don’t feed it all the nutrients it requires.
We take our limbs for granted. We take our senses for granted. And most importantly, we take our breath for granted. After all, we breathe without paying any attention, and there is nothing we have to do to keep our hearts pumping physically. We take for granted the main thing that keeps us alive.
When was the last time you noticed your breath and your beating heart?
Exercise and healthy food are not the only answer to meeting our body’s needs. We have to take care of our mental and emotional states too.
Our bodies are not the machines we were brought up believing them to be. They cannot run effectively all day without love, care and attention. They are sacred energy in motion, fluid, and change all the time. Our bodies go through continuous cycles, and as conscious beings, our job is to honor, respect, and work with them, not against them.
You see, our bodies are on our side. They bat for the same team we do. They want us to do well, and they will communicate with us until we do. They are our friends, our greatest cheerleaders, and the biggest protection we have here on this Earth.
It is possible to tune into our body’s energy and learn the language it speaks. And it is our responsibility as grown adults to do so, which enables us to release, restore and maintain balance.
When was the last time you listened to your body and asked what it needed?
And when was the last time you acted on the answer you were given?
The feelings, emotions, needs, and desires we have to tell us vital information about what is happening. If we do not feel these, we become powerless. We run on autopilot, unconscious of our behaviors and unaware of how to live a more fulfilling life.
This connection between mind and body, for me, is the key to life. It allows us to be present and gives us the power to know who we are every second of every day because we have the best point of reference to keep coming back to; ourselves.
If you are not entirely in your body and present, you lose the sense of self. Self-worth and self-esteem are measured from sources outside of your physical body and surrounding energy that your body radiates. It becomes easier for you and others to cross your boundaries, and advocating for yourself can become hard. It becomes all too easy to live within the boxes and expectations that society, culture, friends, and family place on you rather than living a life full of freedom and passion.
And I, for one, have totally and utterly been guilty of this.
Living in and from your body gives you total access to the autonomous, conscious, sovereign you.
My body has withstood sexual, mental, emotional, and physical abuse. I am hypermobile, so my joints dislocate easily. I have asthma, eczema, and allergies. I have not been the size I have wanted to be since puberty, and up until a few months ago, my voice sounded like a child. I lived half of my life in my head. I subjected myself to other people’s rules and expectations, societies, and my culture's boxes. I felt stuck, lifeless, helpless, and hopeless and did not want to be in a human body. I thought I was better off in my head and not grounded because then, at least, I didn’t have to feel my pain fully, and I could create a fantasy world to live from.
It got to the point in my life that I either do some serious deep work on myself, or I give up and die. I chose life and found the most amazing people to help me heal, all from different walks of life. Every one of them had the same message; to heal and live the life I desired for myself meant I had to be present in the here and now, and that required me to embrace my body, feelings, emotions, and experiences. To release the trauma and stuck energy from my system and allow myself to be seen, heard, and felt.
I started on this journey when I was 16, and it will be one that I walk for the rest of my life.
Learning to love my body, to trust my body, and to listen to my body is what has taught me that self-worth and self-esteem come from within ourselves, that I can live my life outside of the boxes those around me wanted me in. I now create boundaries that feel authentic to me, and the voice that I have had since I was first born finally gets used. I can honor the vessel my Soul and Spirit sit in.
This does not mean I always like the situation I am presented with or do not have struggles within my body. Of course, I do. It is unrealistic to believe that life is always roses. That is not true or real. Life has many ups and downs. We all go through ‘dark nights of the Soul,’ and we all have periods of joy.
The unknown of what life is going to bring next can be scary. It involves fully trusting the Universe, who we are, and the vessel that got us into this World. But what helps me live in an unknown reality is the knowledge that I have a vast tool bag that I can use at any moment, in any given situation, to help me move through what presented itself in the healthiest way I know-how. My tool bag will continuously expand as I go through life.
My experiences and the knowledge that I now have, allow me to walk with a strength that no one or nothing can ever take away from me. When you meet the core of who you are from a raw, authentic, vulnerable, and true place, the life you have always seen as fantasy and unreachable becomes touchable. And when something becomes touchable, you can make a conscious decision as to whether you desire to bring it further into your reality, decide it is no longer what you want or needs, and/or begin reaching for something new.
If you have a longing to be;
fully present in your body and experience this rich life that we are surrounded by,
conscious as to who you are from the depths of your core,
free and passionate about who you are and the life you are living,
I have a piece of advice for you.
What has helped me most on my journey is to gain a best friend relationship with my body. One where we communicate often, feel grateful for each other, and if we don’t speak for a while, our world does not come shattering down around us.
You can start by simply asking your body how it is today and what it would like to do. Whether you hear words or feel a sense of the answer, you then get to trust that what you heard and/or felt is true for you.
Next, follow through. Take that risk!
And then allow your world to open up to all the limitless possibilities on offer.
Do not be surprised if your little child within you wants to come out to play. Allow it. Have fun, be random, do something wild and crazy if it is calling your name. It is ok to act like a child would sometimes. As adults, we forget, and that beautiful child part within us wants us to remember. So, eat that ice cream, or watch movies all day. You are an adult, and no one gets to tell you what to do or what is right or wrong, other than you.
If your body is asking you to do something more serious, that is great also. Listen, breathe, take your time, and look after yourself in the process. Ask yourself what you would need as support to accomplish what your body is asking of you.
Allow yourself and give yourself permission to take some of your power back right now and listen to you first and foremost.
This is key to developing an ongoing deep and diverse relationship with who you are. To truly believe that your body is your greatest asset requires you to have a relationship with all parts of you. Bring your energy back to you so that what you feel and experience can be used positively to heal the trauma you went through or are currently going through.
If I can do this, so can you.
You already have a supporter on your team, me.
Lauraine McDonald, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Lauraine McDonald is an intuitive guide and empathic healer who has been working with Energy for over 15 years. She has two degrees in Psychology and relishes every opportunity to bridge the gap between the mind and body. Due to many traumatic experiences, she has dedicated her life to helping people connect authentically to themselves and to the world around them. She does this by helping you to release past traumas, break free from cultural and societal boxes and innately see and express who you are. Deeply rooted in the Native American Way of Life, Lauraine brings a holistic approach to her work. Lauraine is also a Sexual Abuse Advocate and looks forward to bringing light to the mental health stigma of keeping quiet and holding on to secrets that belong out in the open. Her mission is, "Become you, speak your truth, reclaim your power and step into who you were born to be."
