The Soul Compass guides you to Live & Thrive in alignment with your true nature, to uncover your authenticity, and start taking steps towards your Dream Life by following your inner wisdom.
In today’s fast-paced world, many of us find ourselves caught up in the role of the caretaker—always tending to the needs of others but rarely taking the time to care for ourselves. This pattern can seem noble at first, but it often leads to exhaustion, burnout, and even resentment toward those we aim to help. The truth is, you can’t pour from an empty cup. Without replenishing your own energy, how can you truly give to others?
The burnout cycle
Are you someone who constantly puts everyone else first? Whether it’s your family, your job, or friends, you might feel like if you don’t take care of everything, things will fall apart. While this sense of responsibility may come from a good place, it’s important to recognize the damage it can cause, primarily to yourself.
Neglecting your own needs in favor of others can only go on for so long before the signs of burnout start to appear. Exhaustion, irritability, and feeling overwhelmed become all too familiar. Worse, over time, you might find yourself resenting the very people you’re working so hard to help. Why? Because your cup is empty, there’s nothing left to give, and you might even notice that there's little to nothing coming back.
Recognizing the imbalance of giving
After pouring so much of yourself into caring for others, it’s common to discover an unsettling imbalance in your relationships. When you give generously without setting boundaries, it can create a dynamic where others begin to take your kindness for granted. They may not know how to reciprocate your input, and honestly, they might not feel the need to if they've become accustomed to your care.
This unbalanced exchange can lead to feelings of frustration and resentment, especially when you realize that your endless giving has spoiled those around you. When gifts and support flow consistently from one side, it becomes challenging for others to meet that level of care in return. They might even believe that this is simply who you are and that you enjoy being the caretaker, not realizing the toll it takes on your well-being.
But, in truth, the people who genuinely care about you have likely tried to encourage you to prioritize self-care for a long time. It’s essential to recognize that setting boundaries is not only a form of self-love but also a way to foster healthier, more reciprocal relationships where both parties feel valued and supported.
The trauma response behind people-pleasing
Overexerting yourself by overgiving is often linked to people-pleasing. People-pleasing often stems from a trauma response known as "fawning," where we prioritize the needs and desires of others in an attempt to feel safe or avoid conflict. For many of us, this behavior develops in childhood, particularly in environments where love, approval, or even safety is conditional. Over time, these patterns become deeply ingrained, leading to chronic self-neglect in adulthood.
When we people-please, we may unconsciously seek validation, fearing rejection or abandonment if we don’t meet others' expectations. Healing from this requires unlearning the belief that our worth is tied to how much we do for others and, instead, recognizing that self-care and setting boundaries are essential for a healthy, balanced life. By breaking free from this cycle, we not only reclaim our own energy but also show up more authentically in our relationships.
The shift: Self-care isn’t selfish
For years, I felt that prioritizing my own well-being was selfish. I worried that if I took time for myself, everything would fall apart. I was a workaholic, always pushing myself past my boundaries and constantly scanning the environment to see what others needed from me. It had many benefits: I achieved many things by acting like this. One of those things was a massive burn-out in 2009/2010.
This burnout was life-changing for me: I discovered, amongst other things, that self-care is not selfish. In fact, it’s the opposite!
When I started putting my well-being first, I found that I could show up more fully for others. I was more present, more patient, and more fulfilled. I could actually get more done when I felt rested. I know: shocking, right? I realized that taking care of myself allowed me to be the best version of myself, not just for me, but for everyone around me.
Breaking the overgiving cycle
If you’re someone who has been giving and giving until there’s nothing left, it’s time to stop and evaluate your own needs. The idea that you have to sacrifice yourself for others is outdated. To truly help those you love, you need to make sure your own needs are met first.
Ask yourself: What is one small thing you can do for yourself today? It could be as simple as taking five minutes to breathe, read, or just enjoy a moment of silence. Small acts of self-love can be the catalyst for a larger shift in how you approach your daily life.
Rekindling the relationship with yourself
The relationship you have with yourself is the most important one you will ever have. If you feel burnt out from taking care of everyone else, it’s time to rekindle that relationship. Start small, and take things one step at a time.
If you’re ready to take your self-care to the next level and explore how to reclaim your energy, let's talk. Together, we can work to prioritize your well-being so you can show up for yourself and others from a place of love, not obligation.
Conclusion
You can’t pour from an empty cup, and self-care is the key to refilling it. By prioritizing your own well-being, you not only transform your life but also your ability to be there for the people you care about. If you’re ready to make your well-being a top priority, reach out for a free consultation on how we can rekindle your self-love and transform your life.
You're welcome to book a free clarity call here.
Kinga de Wit, Transformational Guide, Soul Embodiment Coach, Catalyst for Change
The Soul Compass guides you to Live & Thrive in alignment with your true nature, to uncover your authenticity, and start taking steps towards your Dream Life by following your inner wisdom.
Services: Human Design, Akashic Records, Soul Realignment, Soul Body Fusion, Polyvagal theory, Nervous System Regulation, Trauma-informed Practice, NLP, OldPain2Go, Inner Child Work, Breathwork, EFT/Tapping, Spiritual Mentorship, Embodied Manifesting, Somatic Work, Conscious Parenting, New Paradigm Business Coaching (Energy + Strategy), Feng Shui, and many, many more.
Me? I'm Kinga de Wit: Aries, 6/2 Human Design Splenic Projector, and my name means "leader of the people." I'm a wife and a mother to a 4 y.o son (almost 5!) and 2 dogs. I'm originally from Warsaw, Poland. I've lived most of my life in the Netherlands and relocated to Spain in August 2023. I grew up with East-European, Eastern (Chinese), Dutch Caribbean, and Western cultures.
I love to sing, write, and take pictures. And I'm an incurable optimist. I believe that we are powerful beings and that we can heal ourselves and the world by standing in our true Power and by letting the love for ourselves overflow into Universal Love.
My knowledge is not "just" theoretical. Everything I teach I am practicing myself. I've experienced my share of struggles, breakdowns, and challenges (like depression, anxiety, burn-out, chronic pain, allergies, trauma, chronic fatigue, being disconnected from my emotions and intuition, etc). I overcame it all and now I love to share what I've learned with others guide.
