Written by: Felicia Shanken, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Here is my take on things. Look at your circle of friends or influencers. Do they have the same tendencies as you? No? Then, let me help you get to your “aha” moment. Ready? Let’s go!
Go back to a time in your life when you started adding friends into your circle. Remember “Susie” who liked the same dolls, “George” who liked the same flavor ice cream, that first boyfriend or girlfriend who wanted the same toppings on pizza as you? Ok, these may be a little extreme or even to the left, but the reality is we are what we attract. Have you ever found yourself in the middle of drama all the time? Have you asked yourself why?
We are continuously drawn to the things that are familiar to us unconsciously – that friendship, that relationship with another, that job and so on. It’s your safe haven. Your “they get me” space, your non-judgment zone, so to speak. Whether you believe it or not, the energy you put into the universe is what comes back to you. So, if you are a negative or positive person, that is the energy that you will receive. You may have looked at other’s lives and wondered, “why are they always smiling or prosperous in everything that they do?” It’s simple. This is what they attract.
One of the greatest gifts that God gave all of us humans, is “free will.” The Free will to dictate how our life is going to play out. We all must remember that the gift of life is so short. In a second, it can be taken away. You know the saying,“misery loves company?” Why can’t that be turned around to “happiness loves company.” The power of words.
OK, I know what you’re thinking, and yes, there are those, no matter what you do or say, choose to be miserable. Here is where I challenge all of you. What is behind that misery in a person’s life? Is he or she broken, hurt, depressed, or could it be a combination of all three?
No one knows for sure what another human being is going through on this life’s journey, Right? We all know that “hurt” people “hurt” people unconsciously most of the time. There are a lot of people who are out here in life that is “broken” and never will take the time to get themselves fixed. And most of the time, these are the ones who keep attracting the same things – people, jobs and relationships – into their lives.
We as human beings don’t take the time to truly analyze or try to fix ourselves because we are too busy waiting for others to do that for us. At some point, you must break the cycle of madness! At some point, you must realize that it is not everyone else, but it is us!
Self-reflection is a hard thing. It forces us to pull back the curtains and be raw with ourselves. To see the ugliness, the pain, not loving ourselves, comparisons, insecurities and so on. Trust me, we all will have to do it at some point in our lives. Some may get there before we do, but eventually, it will happen. Once you find yourself on the other side, that is when you give the universe time to heal and work with you. The only positive thing that comes from a place of brokenness is when we realize that we are broken.
That is the first rule of healing and starting to move forward while attracting those things, people and relationships in life that we really want, deserve and need. We can’t go back to yesterday and change what has happened or how we feel, we can only plan for today! You must live each day as if it was your last, because it could be. Do you want people to remember you as broken, hurt, unloving, or do you want them to remember you as the loving, caring and authentic person that you can become?
So, ask yourself, what and who in life am I attracting? If you find that you are attracting the same type of people, relationships, friendships etc. then you know it’s probably not them, it’s probably you. So here comes the real task. What are you going to do to change things?
Remember, if you want to “keep getting what you are getting, then keep doing what you are doing.” Positive or negative, the outcome is the same. If you find yourself in this situation, take back your life. Start creating those positive thoughts and relationships that you deserve. Everyone in this world has the same 24 hours every day. It is up to you how you plan to use them. Wasted time you will never get back, so if you must waste time, “BE HAPPY.” What do you have to lose, or better yet, what do you have to gain? Life is a gift. Enjoy and treasure it as long as you can.
So, my friends, I hope I shed some light on your own life, gave you an “aha” moment and made you dig a little deeper into yourself. My hope and wish for you moving forward are that you start attracting what you are. Be the light that you want to see in others, give the love that you so crave, give the compassion that you need and most of all, pray for the wisdom and understanding of others as we go through this thing called LIFE! I wish you all blessings on your journey. Have a great day on purpose!
Felicia Shanken, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Felicia Shanken is a Women Strategist and Builder. She is the Founder/CEO of the Philadelphia Women's Network Connection, LLC and PWNC Foundation 501(c)(3). PWNC is about helping local businesswomen build their business, connect with like-minded individuals and benefit from shared resources. The Foundation is committed to assisting women in growing a business as solo entrepreneurs transition from full-time or part-time to full-time entrepreneurship. Felicia has also been recognized and honored by "Fun Times Magazine" in their March/April 2020 edition for being "2020 Philadelphia Who's Who Black Women of Influence". Felicia had the opportunity in September 2019 to have her show on RVNTV, a digital television platform called "Power Up Your Passion," where she brings guests on to talk about their passion in life and how it lead to where they are now. Felicia was raised in Queens, New York. She moved to Philadelphia over 20 years ago, where she met her husband, Paul, a native Philadelphian. They live in the Fairmont area of Center City, Philadelphia.
