Written by: Pauline Morris, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
It’s January and I’ve noticed a marked change in my social media feed over the last 3 weeks. Have you noticed that too? I’m now spoilt for choice for my next gym membership, fitness app and diet regime. All promising me the transformational change I’ve been unable to achieve of my own volition.
This is nothing new, but it got me thinking (not for the first time I’ll admit), why are we so obsessed with ‘transformational change’?
For one, it starts much earlier than we think. Our beliefs and values around the power of transformational change are cemented very early on in life and we don’t even realise it.
Our bedtime stories are full of the joys that transformational change can bring:
Lonely Cinderella into the belle of the ball
The dejected beast into a handsome prince
The hopeless wooden toy into a ‘real’ boy
We are surrounded in nature by the beauty of transformational change:
Standard green leaves into the rainbow colours of autumn
The boring grey gosling into the glorious white swan
The creeping caterpillar into the soaring butterfly
You might be thinking ‘Well geez, come on now, this is all sweet and lovely! Aren’t you being a little cynical?’ Yes, a little, I’ll share why.
Problem 1
Our concept of transformational change is based on 1- fairy tales (that’s the cynical bit) and 2- genetic inevitability.
In turning into a butterfly, the caterpillar does not–
Have goals
Reflect on their limiting values and beliefs
Make a conscious decision to change
Seek trusted feedback, help and advice
Do research
Apply critical thinking
Institute SMART action plans
Learn, readjust and monitor progress
Try, fail, pick themselves up and try again
Celebrate the small wins
In short, unlike the caterpillar, leaf or gosling, you are not a passenger in your own life where change is a passive action over which you have no control. If we can take any lesson from nature, it’s that transformation doesn’t happen overnight. But that doesn’t stop us from feeling overwhelmed with the idea of transformational change and it’s not just a mindset thing.
Problem 2
CambridgeDictionary.org defines transformation as “a complete change in the appearance or character of something or someone, especially so that that thing or person is improved”, transformational change is rarely associated with negative outcomes, hence the pressure to transform.
At this time of year, our social media feed is hijacked by images and stories of radical personal transformational change. Unfortunately, those images whilst inspirational and motivational for some, perpetuate the idea that nothing less than this radical change is acceptable. This notion is unrealistic and damaging, it implies that you’ve got it ALL wrong, everything needs fixing and that’s just not true.
Problem 3
Following on from problem 2, when we think of transformational change, tragically, many of us start playing the comparison game – if person X can lose 150 pounds clearly something is wrong with me for struggling to lose 20! Worse, I’ve lost my 150 pounds and still don’t look like them! Here comes that deflated feeling and the ‘can do attitude’ immediately starts to wane.
So, what’s the solution to these 3 problems? How about a change in perspective? –Transformational change doesn’t have to be transformational.
Today, when you reassess your new year’s resolution list, even if you haven’t written one down, you probably have one in your head, (smile). I’d like to invite you to use these 5 mantras to reframe the concept of transformational change, keeping them in the forefront of any happy, healthy change you want to make for the benefit of your wellbeing:
Try integration rather than separation – ‘Tiny Habits’ by BJ Fogg is great for this one
You can change one thing at a time
Small changes do count
It doesn’t have to be all or nothing
Be kind to yourself
Good luck, and let me know-how of these small but doable mindset shifts have helped you get and stay on track! Remember not everything about you needs to change, you’ve already got great bits about you too, to celebrate those even as you change!!
You can follow Pauline on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and can book a session through her website!
Pauline Morris, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Spanning several regions including the Caribbean, Middle East and the United Kingdom, Dr. Pauline Morris brings a wealth of experience as a leader within and outside of medicine, as a Consultant Anaesthetist and a Career Coach. After becoming a single mum at 17 and choosing a life of caring for others, she realised the true difficulties doctors face in attaining happy healthy lives, whilst providing a gold standard of care to their patients. As the founder of Doctors Caring for Doctors, a career coaching and support service for physicians, her mission is to help all doctors discover how they can have a fulfilling life and a successful career without burning out.
In crafting her own successful career as a physician and entrepreneur, she is well placed to help doctors who crave inspired solutions to the competing demands of a medical career and home life.
One of her greatest gifts is her ability to authentically connect with her clients, allowing them the space to find the complete clarity that leads them to their own unique path, emotional freedom, personal joy and professional achievement.
