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Why You've Done All The Therapy But Still Feel Like Sh*t

Siân Marron is trauma-informed Spinal Energetics Practitioner & Intuitive Coach with expertise in mind-body alignment. She helps people reconnect with their body's innate wisdom so they can release unprocessed trauma and emotions from the body.

 
Executive Contributor Siân Marron

Look, I’m not here to bash talking therapies or the amazing people who dedicate their lives to helping others in this way. It has definitely helped me make some sense of some of my stuff over the years and for that I’m truly grateful. Whether it be cognitive-behavioural therapy or psychoanalysis, many of us have spent countless hours in the hot seat, delving into our pasts and dissecting our thought patterns. However, despite doing all ‘the work’, many of us are left not feeling better in our bodies. A case and point; I have friends and clients who have been in talking therapies for many years and still find themselves struggling with persistent feelings of unease, anxiety, depression and dis-ease in the body. This is the reality for lots of clients when they find me and was mine for a long time too.


Woman leaning on the bed feel exhausted

I don’t think I’m alone in observing that people are seemingly more unwell, unhappy and in need of effective support than ever. This reality begs the question, if we are putting in the ‘work,’ then why do so many of us still feel like sh*t? And more worryingly, what if we are seriously missing something?


The missing link

Recently, a client I’ve been working with for a while wrote to me after one of our Spinal Energetics sessions. She had been in and out of the conventional mental health system for a long time and despite having experienced countless types of treatment and therapy, they didn’t help her feel less depressed, hopeless, anxious or stuck.


She shared what a huge relief it was to not have to talk about her trauma and to learn that her body can release that unprocessed trauma and emotion without having to relive it. Now, she so beautifully gives herself permission to feel what she didn’t feel safe to feel in the past and has such a powerful trust in her body which is growing more and more. I actually cried when she sent me the words “I feel hopeful for the first time in a very very long time.” It really hit me because I know firsthand what a lonely place it is to be showing up for yourself in all the ways we’re told but still feel in crisis.


And this eludes to one of the most transformative things I’ve learnt through my own healing and helping others do the same. Some more traditional methods, including most talking therapies leave the single most important component with healing out the body!


Let me tell you why.

 

1. The body keeps the score

Bessel van der Kolk famously said that "The body keeps the score" and thanks to the work of leaders like him and Gabor Matè, it is becoming universally recognised that the body stores memories and traumas that our minds aren’t necessarily aware of. This can show up over time as symptoms like chronic pain, tension, or fatigue, which can arise and persist long after we've intellectually processed an experience. The key here is that the body stores emotion and trauma in our fascia, muscle, organs and even bones if we don’t feel safe enough to really allow the experience, emotions and sensations to rise in the body at the time. It is this energetic and emotional load that keeps us feeling stuck, overwhelmed, dysregulated and our bodies in dis-ease.


As Bessel Van De Kolk reaffirms, “if the memory of trauma is encoded in our senses, in muscle tension, and in anxiety, then the body must also be involved in the healing process.” So, to truly heal, we have to address these bodily-held emotions and sensations. This is what I help people do through Spinal Energetics and somatic exercises. It never ceases to amaze me what magic can ensue when we reconnect with our body and those often forgotten parts of ourselves

 

2. Emotional processing vs. intellectual understanding

Talking therapy helps us intellectualise and understand our issues, pain, struggles and trauma which can be a relief for sure. We are guided to analyse our thoughts, behaviours, and past experiences. However, this intellectual insight doesn't always translate into emotional healing. Understanding why you're anxious or depressed is one thing; feeling and processing those emotions is another. This is where somatic and energy work comes in. It plugs the gap between rationalising and actually releasing stored trauma and emotions from the body effectively without having to relive (bonus) the difficult situation.

 

3. The nervous system

Our nervous system plays a crucial role in our overall balance in the body. I could go on forever about the vagus nerve and how our body is always seeking to protect us but I’ll save that for another post. One of the critical things we all need to know is that this super system tells our whole body whether we are safe and can therefore rest or we are under threat and need to be on high alert. Our nervous system however doesn’t know the different between a perceived and real threat and will react similarly whether you’re being chased by a sabre toothed tiger or reliving a difficult memory you’re talking about from the past.


On this basis, talking about painful, unprocessed experiences can trigger a sympathetic response (fight or flight) in our body because that stored energy and emotion from the event is still unresolved within us. This reactivation can overwhelm the system, potentially leading to re-traumatisation if the person isn't properly supported during the process. One of my favourite things about Spinal Energetics is that we don’t have to talk about our trauma. The body and it’s innate wisdom is able to process and release what is needed without having to relive it and that feels pretty fricken special. Thank you body, you clever magical thing!


Some of the most powerful tools I found in my healing journey were Spinal Energetics, Fascial Manouvers, Somatic Exercises, Breathwork & movement.


Body led tools & modalities

If you’ve done all the talking therapy but still feel stuck, it could be time to try something new. The good news is there are so many amazing modalities that are body-led and can help us regulate, connect with our body and release unprocessed emotions and trauma. I personally practice Spinal Energetics and somatic body led practices because they were so transformative for me in my own healing journey, But, there are so many options available to help guide you. Listen to your body and little voice about what the right option for you is.


1. Spinal energetics

Spinal Energetics is a modality developed by Chiropractor and Counsellor Dr Sarah Jane. It is a practice that combines Eastern and Western thought, to interact with a person’s spine, nervous system and energetic field, to harness a person’s own innate wisdom to know and heal themselves. It is a gentle yet powerful way to help you release tension, emotions, stress, and trauma stored in the body.


Through the client, practitioner interaction, an organic flow of movement and sound begins and progresses to shift, unwind, discover and release tension, resistance, and stories that may have been stored in the body. Spinal Energetics is not something we ‘do’ to a client, it is a practice of collaboration to cultivate and support deep self-awareness in our clients to help them soften and-or strengthen patterns of resistance and-or submission that may be preventing wellbeing from flowing to them.


Your body knows exactly how to release, heal and thrive when given the right conditions and safety. Spinal Energetics helps us connect with our body more deeply and tap into this innate wisdom which so often stays dormant within us.


2. Somatic therapy

Somatic exercises and therapies, such as Somatic Experiencing focus on nurturing the connection between mind and body. They help increase the awareness of and capacity to feel sensations in the body which in turn helps release trauma stored in the body and promote nervous system regulation. One of my fav ways to ground into my body and slow my thoughts is this mind-heart exercise. I also do quick body stress and somatic awareness check ins regularly. Powerful exercises are often really simple, it’s all about bringing our awareness from the mind into the body and being with our sensations.

 

3. Fascial manoeuvres

I can’t say more good things about the impact that fascial manoeuvres have had on my health and life. If you’re struggling with any kind of emotional or physical dis-ease or pain in the body, you need to know about Human Garage. They are a non for profit organisation who offer transformative, free self-healing programmes through their app. I am training to be a coach having completed their programmes and believe me when I say they are life-changing. This is the most accessible, empowering way to reconnect with your body and shift things in your body and life.


4. Breathwork

Breathwork techniques, such as diaphragmatic breathing, can help regulate the nervous system and reduce stress in the body. By focusing on connecting with and leading our breath, we can slow our minds and calm our bodies. I like a good box breath or exhale extension when I’m feeling anxious or stressed in my body.


5. Movement practices

Movement really is medicine and a powerful way to dispel built up energy in our system and reconnect with our bodies. Whether it be yoga, qi-gong, lifting weights or smashing a slam ball into the ground (my personal fav when I’m in a fight/flight response) at the gym, moving our energy through using movement and breath can help us develop a stronger connection to our bodies. The important thing to note here is to listen to the type of movement your body is craving. For example, we don’t want to be bringing more stress into an already stretched system as this can increase inflammation. If this is you, something more gentle may be the most beneficial. Whereas sometimes we have all this energy inside of us we need to dispel and something more intense might feel good. If we’re present with sensations in our body whilst moving, over time, this helps build capacity to be able to feel big emotions and sensations so they can release too.


Conclusion

Talking therapy can be valuable to understanding ourselves, but if therapy leaves the body out of the picture, it is unlikely to create the shifts we want in our overall health. If you’ve done all the talking therapy but still feel like sh*t, it might be time to explore other options that tend to all your parts and layers of yourself. It can be a confusing road to feeling better sometimes but just know that if you follow your little voice and body, everything is possible.

 

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Read more from Siân Marron

 

Siân Marron, Spinal Energetics Practitioner & Coach

Siân Marron is trauma-informed Spinal Energetics Practitioner & Coach with expertise in mind-body alignment. She is an ex-probation officer with extensive experience with emotional health issues, who found energy and somatic work in the throes of burnout and anxiety. When it helped her completely heal from a 'lifelong' autoimmune disease, eliminate the anxiety, and get through a difficult divorce, she knew with every cell in body that she'd found her next calling. Now, nothing lights her up more than helping others heal and live brighter, more vibrant lives.

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