Tim Nash is on a mission to help senior professionals escape their energy-zapping maze, focus on what matters and pave the way for success. Via the empowering principles of Gestalt, he guides his clients below the surface to overcome what is preventing them from performing at their best.
For over two decades, Tim has helped young professionals to C-level executives lead and collaborate across cultures. He is also the founder of The Path To Peak Performance which includes his dynamic coaching practice and American Transplant web series.
Tim Nash, Gestalt Coach On A Mission
What do you say when people ask you what you do?
That kind of depends on who’s asking…and the reason for the question.
In my experience, people usually ask this question for one of three reasons – they are being polite, they are genuinely curious or they are looking for professional help.
If I sense from our conversation that I might be able to help, I would say that I help people get unstuck so they can move forward – to take a critical decision, make a career pivot or tackle a different challenge.
What I say next would depend on how they react to this information. If they are simply making polite chit chat, I would keep my answer short and somewhat generic (e.g. Development Consultant or Executive Coach).
However, as every human interaction is unique in both the situation and the individuals, I find it hard to give pre-made answers.
There is no shortage of coaches out there, so what makes you unique from other coaches?
Firstly, I didn’t come to coaching the traditional way. You could say that the profession found me.
Looking back, the things that best prepared me for this job had nothing to do with coaching.
Before I settled in my current homebase of Munich, Germany I traveled quite a bit.
Between the ages of 23 and 30 I probably spent more time in trains and airplanes than anywhere else.
Take the challenging task of navigating a big airport or train station – especially pre mobile phones and Google Maps!
I was forced to improve my communication skills when I had to ask someone for help or when chatting to a stranger on a long train ride.
When I had to adapt my schedule due to missed connections or lost bookings, I developed flexibility.
Quite often, if you do not act quickly, you will not have a bed. Agility in action.
Due to the many unexpected changes attached to travel, I learned to problem solve when things didn’t go as planned – NO SKILL is more valuable than this one!
As I spent over three years living and working in South Korea and Japan, different languages and alphabets were often involved.
Getting lost in a rural Asian train station can be especially character building.
In addition to my 20 years in People & Organizational Development, I have first-hand work experience in Finance, Education, Tourism, and the Media.
Across four continents and multiple cultures, I’ve experienced many different types of people with all different types of challenges.
This helps me connect with people from diverse backgrounds.
I would say that this is the most important coaching skill of them all.
Think about it – before you can help anyone with anything, you have to connect with them first.
And when you spend time with people who think and act differently from you, you naturally become more tolerant of differences.
I hope my coaching style reflects this unique experience.
After years of building new skills and adapting to change around me, it made perfect sense to help other professionals do the same.
One big reason I connected to Gestalt is because one of its core principles is that “personal experience makes the best teacher”.
A big part of my education has come from personal experience and a lot of learning by doing – my preferred learning style😊.
Gestalt values practice over theory, direct experience over indirect knowledge.
You could read every book known to man on Kung Fu. But without practice, you would be worthless in a fight.
OK, so how exactly ccould Gestalt coaching help me?
Well, that is the most important question, isn’t it? It makes sense to first say a few words about what Gestalt is.
Most people know Gestalt as a kind of psychotherapy.
Gestalt does have its roots in Freudian psychoanalysis but broke away pretty early on.
Here’s an example how Gestalt differs from Freud and friends –
If someone is repeatedly in conflict with an authority figure (e.g. boss), it’s quite possible that this pattern began in the past.
As this repeating pattern is connected to what is going on in the present, it would make sense to explore it.
If I were coaching you and you wanted to break an unhealthy conflict pattern, for example, I would take you right back to a real past conflict.
And rather than simply talking about what you could or would say, I would act the role of your conflict person and ask you to use your real words when talking to me.
Expressing yourself in your real words is more powerful than simply talking
about hypothetical words.
An intense and real-life interaction like this can be transformative – I have experienced it myself.
It is also an example of how Gestalt coaching could help you.
But again, if something from the past has no relevant connection to the present, there’s no need to dive into it. Sorry Sigmund.
Most people don’t realize it but Gestalt has been used in the development world for years – any role play or other experiential activity is a direct descendant of the “personal experience = best teacher” principle.
I love the Gestalt-inspired “Paradoxical Theory of Change” which says that change happens when you become more of what you are, not when trying to become something you are not.
I don’t know about you but if a change goes against who I am, I can’t make it. At least not sustain it.
Another reason I love this little theory is because change is inextricably linked with any type of development work – the world that I swim in!
“Ultimately, this is exactly what I aim to help my clients do – to use their own strengths and inner resources to make lasting positive change. In other words, to become more of what they already are.”
This is just one Gestalt principle that can help shift your perspective.
To navigate the constant change and increasing complexity around you, EVERY ONE OF US needs a change of perspective from time to time.
If you are keen to learn more, check out why I choose Gestalt.
How does someone go about choosing a coach?
Yes, not an easy thing with everything on offer out there – life coaching, business coaching, career coaching – the choice is overwhelming!
My biggest tip would be to have an initial meeting with the potential coach (video chats are easiest at present).
Just like with any relationship, the chemistry has to be right, which is why personal interaction is so important.
I would never buy a car without first taking it for a test ride. Same goes with a coach.
You also want the chance to ask questions or express concerns. For this critical step, a live person is so much easier than an email exchange.
Because of the big time and money commitment but also the sensitive nature of sharing, there also needs to be trust in a coaching relationship.
Would you share personal information with someone you did not trust?
Probably not.
But if you are committed to breaking the patterns that are blocking you, you will have to look at some uncomfortable things. This takes trust.
Of course, if you are just looking to improve your public speaking skills you might not need to look below the surface.
However, there might be some deeper issues involved in your public speaking that need to be addressed – irrational fear, perfectionism, etc.
In my experience, lasting positive change happens at this deeper level.
If you really want to perform at your best, you will have to go below the surface to reach these performance-limiting obstacles.
I meet American expats all the time. So why do you call yourself an “American Transplant”?
Yes, there are a lot of us out here, aren’t there😊.
If I include the time I’ve spent traveling between jobs then I’m looking at 25+ years away from my home of Los Angeles, California.
But beyond the years abroad, what differentiates me from other American expats is that I do not have any plans to return home – most of the ones I meet are planning to return home at some point.
Of course, that could change at any time. I’ve learned to never say never in life.
Incidentally, during the first lockdown in early 2020, I created a series of short videos where I talk about my colorful experiences as an “American Transplant”.
“This side project sprang out of my need to interact with the world beyond my four walls…but also because I was having fun doing it – the very best reason to do anything!”
Beyond “never say never”, what valuable life lessons can you share to help us on our individual development journeys?
You said something very important – every person has a unique and individual journey.
Mine took me away from the US to Asia and Europe. You may never leave your home.
There is no one right way to do something – whether talking about how to become a coach or something else. There is only what’s right for you.
What makes sense for someone else, does not necessarily make sense for you. And vice versa.
“Building on ‘personal experience as best teacher,’ my best advice is to listen to your inner voice, trust yourself and learn from your own experiences – in work and life.”
If someone tells you something that does not sit right, do not accept it.
If someone says something that you don’t agree with, challenge them.
If you cannot see the truth in the politics or religion you inherited, find your own truth.
That’s not to say that there won’t be times when you feel stuck or even lost.
Everyone needs guidance and direction from time to time.
The challenge is to recognize when you hit one of those times and seek out the help that can get you unstuck.
And finally, do not be afraid to be a student – ask questions, learn new things, be curious about other people and their differences.
Curiosity is one of those MUST-HAVE skills that will help you in whatever profession you choose!
Coming to the present post-pandemic world of New Work, one of the biggest challenges for every professional on earth has been the unexpected shift from face-to-face to virtual communication.
[FREE GIFT] To help my clients lead and inspire people in the new virtual world, I created "The 5 Secrets For Virtual Presence".
So, whether you need to overcome Zoom fatigue or learn a new skill for your future job, the key is to recognize when you are stuck and ask for help when you need it.
