Written by Danny Bader, Keynote Speaker, Author
Danny Bader is a near-death survivor, keynote speaker, best-selling author and podcast host. Danny brings a unique perspective and powerful message to his audiences, drawing from his own experiences to support, inspire and influence them on their life’s journey to greater levels of fulfillment and resilience always.
As the Kentucky Derby kicks off the Triple Crown Race Series—the Preakness and Belmont Stakes follow—I am reminded of one of the all-time great lines I’ve heard. It came from my brother, Tim, an avid horse racing fan. He knows I like to bet on the longshots, the horses who the “experts” believe have a low chance of winning. Tim smiled and winked as he placed his arm around my shoulder and said, “Brother D, a horse doesn’t know his odds.” Hmmmm.
I say this is one of the greatest lines because it can be of value to us humans. I believe your “life is lived between your ears.” I’ve come to understand the thoughts, beliefs, and self-talk you have elicit your emotions and feelings, and these drive your action—or procrastination—which produce your outcomes and results. I believe your thoughts and self-talk are one in the same. I mean, try right now to have a thought about something without words (self-talk) attached to it. See, right?
I googled to see if horses have self-talk and the only information about self-awareness was a study suggesting horses can recognize themselves in a mirror. I’m guessing a horse’s break from the starting gate is an instinct/habit developed through training. I do believe a horse can respond to the words and non-verbal’s of its owners, trainers and jockeys. If you’re a horse person I’d welcome your thoughts in the comments.
So, what can you take away from this? Well, have you ever been in the so-called starting gate in life? Perhaps you were entering a new relationship, new job, getting ready for a competition of some sort, or had just graduated and were pondering your next chapter of life. It’s been my experience and that of many people I’ve coached and spoken with that we often make ourselves a longshot, we think of all the things that could go wrong, we imagine failure and are filled with anxiety and self-doubt. This is usually the result of something called the negativity bias, where our focus is always on the lookout for threats to our survival…and threats are always negative.
The opposite of the longshot is the odds-on favorite, the horse the experts believe has a strong chance for victory. Below are three things I’ve come to understand will support you to overcome this bias:
Hold Useful Thoughts – This is what I call “H.U.T.” with my clients and children and anyone else who talks with me about staying positive. You want to be keenly aware of your self-talk, catch the ones which produce negative emotions (fear, anger, etc.) and weak feelings. Then reframe them into positive and encouraging thoughts.
Be Still – Stillness is a powerful state for two main reasons. The first is it supports number 1 above and allows you to be aware of your thoughts, feelings, and emotions. The reason you want this awareness is best captured by the late NBA star Kobe Bryant when he spoke of being still. He said this about your thoughts and feelings, “The important thing is to accept them all, and embrace them all, and then you can choose to do with them what you want versus being controlled by emotion.” You can see the clip here. The second reason stillness is powerful is your Spirit resides in stillness…and your Spirit only wants what is good for you. Take Action – There is no progress without action. After doing the first two steps above it is vital to take an action or two to move you toward what you want to achieve. It’s this taking of action that anchors a more positive mindset and is strengthened via repetition.
How about the next time you begin something and are feeling negative, or are confronted with one of life’s inevitable challenges or struggles, you stand tall, take a deep breath, and hold the mindset of a racehorse…just trust you have the insight, intelligence, support, experience, determination and perseverance to produce the outcome you seek. Then make yourself the odds-on favorite to win!
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Danny Bader, Keynote Speaker, Author
Danny Bader is a sought-after speaker whose message is simple: live with a radical reverence for YOUR life. An electrocution accident left Danny and his friend both dead...only Danny came back to life. Through stories, science, Spirit and humor Danny inspires and influences people to always do the work needed to create a life of fulfillment and resilience.
