Written by: Magdalena Hanah, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
I love the thought that we are all unique and special – and that’s absolutely true! But, my life has changed massively once I understood the coaching power and growth potential in how we are actually similar.
In my eighteen-year-long infatuation with self-growth and business books, I tend to do a lot of reading. In fact, my minimum is one book a month, and usually, it’s more like two or three. Depending on how much time I’m able to put aside, based on my current projects.
I still think that books are, oftentimes, much better than courses, training, and webinars, but I must say, the book that inspired me to write this article was a complete game-changer in the way I approached my own life and the way I started helping my one-to-one coaching clients, as well.
I would classify it as the “missing link” contained in an unpopular opinion. We can be put into certain “brackets” or boxes, and that there is a pattern to our behavior that might determine how we act in certain situations, personal or business.
The book I’m referring to is Gretchen Rubin’s “Four Tendencies,” and it really is “that good,” as it says on the label!
Gretchen speaks about our natural propensity to certain types of thought patterns and behaviors. She classifies them into four strict tendencies and a few intricacies, based on our inclination to lean towards a couple of types of reactions.
She structures her tendencies due to our organization, planning, and motivational triggers, which makes it really helpful, especially in productivity, to help ourselves (or our clients) understand our own strengths and weaknesses and achieve incredible growth as a result.
After reading Gretchen’s book, I must admit that I found myself perceiving people in a whole different way than I used to before. I started seeing tale-tell signs of other people’s tendencies, as well as, really quickly, recognized my own. This newly acquired “skill” was, at first, a source of real amusement, as I almost started predicting what people are going to say to me before they even said it, right after I recognized their own patterns and tendencies.
Once the first emotional thrill passed, though, I started seeing the untapped potential we have in acknowledging our own tendencies and how that recognition can help us get out of our own way.
According to Gretchen, people fall into one of the four categories: upholder, questioner, obliger, or rebel.
So, what are the tendencies, and what advantages to your personal and business productivity can they have?
I’ve shortly described all four tendencies and the corresponding solutions based on my own experiences and observations below. However, I would still advise everyone to pick up the book for the full scope of how that works and for different combinations you might be exhibiting if you lean towards more than one type of behavior. Although similar to the authors’, those are my own conclusions, based on what I’ve found out whilst working with and creating solutions helpful to my own clients.
Upholders
If you’re an upholder, it’s quite possible, you are a natural goal achiever, and you’re almost always on track with the things that you do.
That is because people from that tendency have a natural ability to organize themselves, create their own schedules (and keep up with them), motivate themselves, and remain consistent. Being an upholder myself (go figure) and working with a few upholders, I know I noticed that we have this inherent need to create frameworks out of almost anything we do and ensure everything is in its rightful order.
The awesome part about this is that upholders need hardly any assistance to keep themselves on track. Once they learn the appropriate systems or methods, it’s a breeze to keep up with them due to the natural ability to react to internal and external motivational triggers.
But, as with every tendency, it has its good and not so great parts, as well. Upholders are brilliant at organizing things for themselves and others. Still, when it comes to spontaneous plans or changing the habits or patterns suddenly, upholders get very easily irritated, and it’s hard for them to jump into a new and more flexible way of being.
Questioner
Although in many ways, they are like upholders – questioners have a certain difficulty when it comes to fulfilling orders or requests from others. Questioners have an amazing ability to self-motivate but can show an almost rebellious streak to them when accepting externally imposed rules or authorities. That is because they have an inherent need to question everything and continuously seek confirmation of their own opinions in a never-ending number of sources. That is why the only way to keep an upholder client in your line of service is to provide as much proof of concept as well as proof of results (backed with concise data) as you can.
If you’re a questioner yourself, you might have the urge to jump from coach to coach or continuously seek new information without thoroughly trying out the previous methods. That’s usually because the previous coach or method didn’t give you enough proof to believe that it has the potential to be a good fit for your needs.
The curiosity of questioners is often a source of valuable information and an asset for “brainstorming” forms of training, such as masterminds. It may, nevertheless, cause people from this tendency to tire themselves out by not being able to settle in their pursuit of finding out “the truth.” Once a questioner does settle, though, they’re unstoppable in their actions.
Obliger
Obligers are an absolute delight to be around and probably the best to work with from all four tendencies. That is because they are the least opinionated or questioning and have a natural ability to fulfill obligations and work well under pressure.
They can be great students, co-workers, or friends.
Obligers need to do good in whatever goal or challenge they undertake. Because of their inability to self-motivate, they rely on external motivation and accountability so much. They are willing to adopt organizational systems and methods with a lot of ease.
Sadly, because it’s hard for them to develop their own drive, it’s also hard for them as entrepreneurs to organize and plan around their goals. That’s why they should hire a coach, mentor, or find a reliable and trustworthy accountability partner (preferably a questioner or upholder).
The thing to look out for with obligers is, if you push them too much and do too many follow-ups ongoingly, they might snap and exhibit something called the “obliger rebellion” (as named by the author of “the four tendencies”), which might make them stubbornly refuse any further suggestions, or terminate the relationship altogether.
Rebel
Rebels are challengers. I don’t mean in a bad way, but they can make you question your methods, and they can trigger your own need for self-improvement. That’s because rebels won’t react to either outer or internal motivational triggers, and they will go against anything you tell them they “need” or “should” do in their approach towards business.
As tough of a cookie as they might be, they are a blessing to any coach, mentor, or trainer due to their ability to challenge everything you say, as well as cause you to improve and upgrade your methods and/or your delivery.
If you’re a rebel and it’s hard for you to follow through on your actions because you get continuously distracted by new “shiny objects” and an inherent need for freedom, your uninhibited nature may cause some serious setbacks unless you allow yourself to listen to people, who are keen on giving you choices, that are easy to visualize.
I mean that rebels react well if you give them two different scenarios for the same outcome and the possible wins or failures they may entail. Rebels are more prone to focus on short, easy content and a strong support system and self-development classes. That will allow a rebel to see how their actions may create a certain type of results, based on the type of input they, themselves, are willing to make.
The last thing I would add here is, be patient with a rebel, as it takes time for them to build strong new habits, but their often creative abilities are well worth keeping around.
The four tendencies are such a great tool for both self-development and as a guidepost for helping others. Remember, though, that most of us, however well defined, will also exhibit our own unique sets of behaviors. The tendency distinction is to understand yourself better and/or others and use your unique abilities to improve your results quicker and more efficiently. The trick here is to perform your actions to focus on your strengths and minimize those that might expose the weaknesses.
So, let me ask you - did you find yourself in any of the four tendencies?
It would be great to hear your thoughts about this and find out the possible examples of how you manage your own tendencies in terms of motivation and productivity in general.
If you’re a service-based entrepreneur who could use a “helping hand” with your performance and business goals– I’ve prepared an awesome set of tools, training and even wrote an e-book about 5 super easy ways in which you can skyrocket your focus, motivation, and organize yourself effectively in both your life and business.
The e-book is called “Entrepreneur’s guide to goal achievement,” You are free to get your copy from a link below this article. It’s a set of little tweaks, which are super easy to implement and won’t take a lot of your time, but what’s especially thrilling is, I’ve prepared them based on taking the four tendencies into account, which means, whoever you identify yourself as they can create enormous changes in your results.
To your growth!
Magdalena Hanah
Discover her 5 Fool-Proof Methods Every Overwhelmed Entrepreneur Can Use To Effectively Plan Every Day!
Magdalena Hanah, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Magdalena is a serial entrepreneur, an award-winning business productivity coach, and a creator of the A.I.P.D productivity framework for coaches, consultants, and freelancers.
She spent some 16 years studying and actively pursuing two of her passions: Neuroanthropology and Marketing. After building two international businesses and spending years on the sidelines, devoting her time to both her studies and looking after her son as a single mother, inspired by her own coach, she finally decided to take all her expertise and create a business that would help entrepreneurs all over the world. Her project aims to achieve quicker, better results without the stress and overwhelm resulting from information overload. It’s her mission to minimize the negative aspects of the globally acclaimed “hustle mentality” and help business owners rid of confusion around the most logical steps in their business, causing them to achieve more, work less and enjoy their journey in a more present, fulfilling way. Falling victim of the industry pressure and not being able to find products within the performance space that would completely address all aspects of our forever expanding conscious approach to life, she decided it’s time to build her own and adopted a more holistic approach by tackling mindset, action-set and spirituality together, for well-rounded results.
