Written by: Marcus Matthews, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
The irony is not lost on me that whilst war wages across the world, many face a war in their own bodies and minds. But why is the energy crisis a reflection of a toxic positivity culture, where the few benefits and the masses suffer? In the book The Four Sacred Secrets by Preetha Je and Krishna Je, the premise is that there are only two states: “The Beautiful State and The Suffering State”. That statement alone, in isolation, is why there is so much toxic positivity in the world.
But this quote has a deeper meaning.
Who do you really need to be to help the world energy crisis?
Check your social media or your friendship and network groups, and how many people are living their best life. The UK Office for National Statistics says 1 in 4 people are suffering mental health issues in England alone, with the Mental Health Foundation quoting “It is estimated that 1 in 6 people in the past week experienced a common mental health problem”. Who do you know?
Who is suffering and who do you know who “seems” to be living their best life could they be the same person? Is that you? How many times have you heard the phrase, “You need to change your mindset”, it’s everywhere? The Dream Get up at 5 am, meditate, do some yoga then write in your gratitude journal, whilst drinking a vegan yak milkshake with zero calories made by a 150-year-old Tibetan monk welcome to the world of marketing and the matrix. I am not denying all of that does help our bodies and minds, but the reality is most of that is toxic marketing to sell you stuff you think you need, when in fact all the answers you need reside inside you and that is the beautiful state. How many times have you been told that positive thinking, or an optimistic attitude, is the practice of focusing on the good in any given situation and that it can have a big impact on your physical and mental health? Tell that to mum who is trying to start up her business, whilst bringing up a small child and being told she should focus on the child and forget her dreams. The mum feels guilt and shame because she is not living up to what the world and others tell her. That in fact, she should be a great mum, with a six-figure business, a great body with perfect Insta photos practicing yoga with her beautiful friends on a beach in Costa Rica. When all she wants is to just cry and watch Netflix whilst eating a whole box of chocolates, but by doing that she is shamed into being lazy and poisoning her body with sugar. Tell that to the dad, who has been passed over on another promotion, only to find the person who got the job is half his age, with half the experience and now he feels totally emasculated, and to rub salt in the wounds, that person asks him to do their job for them because now they have the authority. Due to that he is grumpy, lacks purpose and drives and that guilt and shame pours out in frustration and anger, and he takes that out on his family, which makes him feel more shame and guilt and all he wants to do is end his life because he can’t handle the pain. He won’t do that though, because he doesn’t want to hurt anyone, he is too proud to ask for help, but despite all the toxic positivity adverts about “ it’s good to talk”, he knows that label will stick with him for life, because he needs to just man up. Positive thinking only works when your environment can allow you to work cognitively, positive thinking is a reflection on your external circumstances, not your internal feelings. This is why outwardly we fake how we feel, whilst inside we are broken. Finding the Beautiful State
One of the things I noticed through my own transformation when I connected to my true self when I went inside, was that I was the observer of my reality. A few days ago that experience went further, as I noticed that my mind was at rest, my heart was full of love but all the unanswered questions of the suffering state were in my stomach. I was in both the beautiful state and the suffering state at the same time. I had detached the rules which bound me, but I was still experiencing those rules physically. It was as if I was 2 people, the person I am and the person others perceived me to be. You can try this by simply closing your eyes and being aware of what visions come to mind, what senses you feel, what sounds you hear, what tastes taste. Notice you are the observer of that experience, the experience is not happening to you, it is happening through you. This is why toxic positivity is so damaging because it doesn’t allow us to feel, smell, touch, see and experience things that we perceive are ours. When our logical brain is in action we experience life as if it is happening to us, when in fact it is happening through us. This is not to deny that a physical assault does not hurt, or a mean word does not impact our soul or spirit at that moment, but the reality is that acknowledging all experiences as just energetic transference, allows us to understand and learn from that experience not avoid it.
The beautiful state could be described as a direct current (DC), our physical form is flowing from negative to positive, positive to negative in one direction, in many ways like the seasons of life. We are always moving in one direction and experiencing both positive and negative experiences, this keeps the power flowing. In the suffering state we are alternating current (AC), because the current flows in one direction then another, the flow is interrupted, we become stuck, and AC current is four times more powerful, hence why we try to avoid it, or if we can’t avoid it, we stick with it. I use this analogy because often the way our mental health suffers is by our energy not flowing correctly. We move forward, then back, forward then back. The answer is to cope and manage that pain, to lessen the impact of that energy. We are still stuck but the pain and suffering feel less for a while until the voltage gets turned up again. We are often AC current, looking to transfer to a DC experience. More damaging though is toxic positivity, it’s the outside observer pointing at you being stuck and giving sympathy to your situation, taking advantage of their position to promote themselves and maybe offering a solution that often makes you feel worse, but you go with it because it’s so familiar and it appears the whole world is doing Yoga, eating vegan food, with an amazing body and living their best life. The world is full of people, who all of a sudden take their lives because on the outside everything is great, but on the inside, they are so stuck and they feel the only option is to turn off the power completely. Conversely when it comes to toxic positivity, instead of disconnecting from the grid, whilst their power is consumed by self, they invite you into their false experience by saying “Are you in pain?”
“Attached to this AC current, come join me”
You think the power will set you free, but in fact, you become even more stuck, because you wanted connection and meaning but now you can’t move at all. However, there is no way you are letting anyone know, you have invested too much energy, so you adopt the same behaviors and habits.
Toxic positivity involves dismissing negative emotions and responding to distress with false reassurances rather than empathy. It comes from feeling uncomfortable with negative emotions. It is often well-intentioned but can cause alienation and a feeling of disconnection not connection and in fact, you get caught up in an electric storm of shame and guilt.
We cannot flow without positive and negative experiences. With no positive momentum, energy does not flow, without negative energy, life does not flow.
The Lesson
You are the observer and controller of energy, do not deny the negative, embrace it, it gives balance to the positive. Without hate you will never know love, without fear you will never know peace and without feeling stuck you will never experience flow.
“In a beautiful state, there is no compulsive rumination over the past or anxiety about the future. We experience inner simplicity and the brilliance of an uncluttered mind. We are connected to the present.“ The Four Sacred Secrets – Penguin Books
The beautiful state is simply an observation of all that is, at that moment.
Be mindful of anyone who is positive all the time, you may just get stuck with an experience that keeps you in the very place you don’t wish to be. Embrace that moment because when you do, that is the moment of transcendence and transformation.
If you found value in this article, please share it with someone, because it may be what they need to release themselves and get back into the flow.
If you would like to find out more about how you can use your negative energy more effectively then please get in touch.
Marcus Matthews, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Marcus Matthews, is a Transformation Coach who's mission is to disrupt our relationship with words like Anxiety, PTSD, Suicide and show the world that all these experiences are gifts we have misunderstood.
Using Hypnotherapy and Cognitive coaching to help upgrade people to fulfil their true purpose and step into their authentic power Marcus truly believes the universe has our backs and his approach shows people possibility once more.
A former police officer and soldier Marcus found his true calling by working with the amazing Marisa Peer after being on the verge of suicide and as well as running his own business Marcus now helps Marisa and the More Than Enough Team shape the lives of others as one of Marisa' trainers.
Marcus has worked with other Mindvalley greats like Lisa Nichols and Regan Hillyer and like them wants to help change the world to be a better place one step at a time.
As an author, speaker, podcaster and trainer Marcus' diverse background from Soldier, Police Officer and Leader allows him to connect with real people to help them set themselves free.
He believes everyone should live a fulfilled and happy life and when you remove the destructive feelings from the toxic stories you tell yourself everyday, you can step into your own version of possibility. easily and effortlessly so you can make your life count.
