Why Stress Hits Harder in Perimenopause
- Brainz Magazine
- 28 minutes ago
- 6 min read
Written by MJ Feeke, Nutritional Therapist
MJ is a BANT Registered Nutritionist, Nutritional Therapist, Health Coach, Chef, and Certified Breathwork Facilitator with over 25 years of experience in the food industry and over 20 years as a small business owner. She is dedicated to educating and empowering others through nutrition and wellness.
If you're in your 40s you may have noticed stress feels more intense, more physical, and more difficult to bounce back from. Perimenopause brings a perfect storm of hormonal shifts, life changes, and invisible responsibilities that can weigh heavily on your nervous system.
This stage of life often arrives just as we’re balancing the mental load of careers, caregiving, relationships, and our own health. Oestrogen, which once helped regulate cortisol (your stress hormone), begins to fluctuate, leaving your system more sensitive to pressure. Suddenly, the coping strategies that used to work don’t anymore.
What is the mental load, and why does it feel heavier in your 40s?
The mental load refers to the invisible, ongoing task of managing everything—schedules, appointments, emotions, meals, work, and caregiving. In your 40s, this load often grows as you juggle career demands, aging parents, young children, teens or young adults, and your own shifting hormones and health.
How does oestrogen, cortisol & your nervous system interact?
Oestrogen helps regulate cortisol (your main stress hormone), so as hormones fluctuate in perimenopause, your stress response may become more reactive. You might find yourself more anxious, overwhelmed, or sensitive to things that didn't bother you, because your nervous system is genuinely under more pressure.
Is it normal to feel more irritable and reactive than usual?
Shifts in hormones, poor sleep, and increased life demands can reduce emotional resilience and increase irritability. Not having enough time for yourself or not prioritizing yourself can also be a factor.
Why are your usual coping strategies no longer working?
What used to work, pushing through, multitasking, and squeezing in a quick workout might now leave you more depleted than in the past. Perimenopause changes how your body processes stress, energy, and recovery. It’s not about being weaker, it’s about needing different support now.
Is the stress just in your head?
Stress creates real physical changes, tight muscles, poor digestion, sleep issues, brain fog. It’s not just mental or emotional, it’s physiological. Understanding this can shift the shame or guilt we often carry for “not coping well” and help us approach stress more compassionately.
How do I know if I'm in perimenopause or just stressed out?
Look for patterns like irregular periods, hot flashes, night sweats, mood swings, and fatigue, and these are common signs of perimenopause. Also, remember that symptoms of stress often improve with rest and relaxation, whereas symptoms related to perimenopause may be cyclical and can persist even when you feel like you are relaxed. Stress and perimenopause can amplify each other so stress may cause hormonal symptoms to worsen.
Why do I feel exhausted even when I sleep?
Hormone changes can disrupt deep, restorative sleep. You may find you wake up
through the night, have night sweats, or go to bed feeling anxious, which will all affect your ability to get restorative sleep.
Will I ever feel like myself again?
You don’t need a complete life overhaul. Supporting your nervous system starts with simple daily practices: saying no more often, 2 minutes of deep breathing, eating meals that stabilize blood sugar, and prioritizing sleep. Simple new habits can provide big relief with consistency.
How to ask for support when you are used to doing it all?
Many of us were raised to be the fixers, the carers, the ones who keep everything afloat. But midlife is the perfect time to rewrite that story. Whether it’s asking a partner to share the mental load, seeking help from a coach or therapist, or simply voicing what you need, can make all the difference in how you feel.
10 tips to lighten the load during perimenopause
Stress feels heavier in perimenopause for many women, your body, brain, and hormones are all working through a major transition. Small, consistent shifts can make a big impact. These 10 simple tips are designed to support your nervous system, protect your energy, and help you feel more like you again, calmer, clearer, and more resilient.
Start your day with 5 minutes of breathwork or mindfulness
Ground your nervous system before the world gets noisy. A few minutes of deep breathing, meditation, or quiet reflection can reduce cortisol levels, increase resilience, and set the tone for a grounded day.
Eat a protein-rich breakfast
Starting your day with protein (think eggs, Greek yogurt, chia pudding, or even leftovers) supports hormone balance, steadies energy, and keeps mood dips at bay. Having stable blood sugar can set your mood and provide the energy needed for the day ahead.
Let your evening be low stimulation
Dimming the lights and slowing your pace may help your brain shift from alert to relaxed. Avoid late-night exercise and opt for light stretching. Light and stimulation interfere with melatonin, so softening your evening routine can help you sleep deeper and feel more refreshed.
Track how you feel not only what you do
Use a journal or notes app to track your sleep, energy, emotions, and symptoms. You’ll begin to spot patterns and better understand what’s working or not. Having awareness will allow you to better advocate for your needs, and make changes with confidence.
Move your body in a way that feels good
Nourish your body with gentle walks, dancing in the kitchen, yoga, or stretching, which all support circulation, lymph flow, mood, and hormonal health. Movement should feel like a release, not a chore. Remember consistency matters more than intensity.
Say no more often and without guilt
Boundaries are a form of self-respect, not selfishness. You don’t need to explain, justify, or feel guilty for protecting your energy. Saying no to what drains you allows you to say yes to what truly supports you.
Balance your blood sugar with regular meals & whole foods
Nourish your body as an act of kindness. Skipping meals or relying on caffeine and sugar leads to spikes and crashes that stress your body and mood. Instead, build meals with protein, fibre, healthy fats, and slow-release carbs. Aim for regular eating windows and reduce ultra-processed foods where possible.
Take your breaks outside
Nature has proven stress-reducing effects. A quick walk or coffee in the sun can bring calm and clarity. Natural light boosts mood, vitamin D, and circadian rhythm regulation. Whether it’s walking, sitting in a garden, or just putting your feet in the grass, even a few minutes of natural light and fresh air can shift your mood and nervous system.
Connect with others
Find your people. You don’t have to carry the invisible load alone. A funny podcast, a friend who gets it, or a moment of shared silliness can shift your entire day. Social connection helps process stress and reminds you that you’re not alone. Whether it’s a trusted friend, support group, or therapist, find space to express, release, and receive support. Emotional release is just as important as rest.
Permit yourself to rest
Rest is productive, it allows your body to heal, recalibrate, and adapt to hormonal changes. Rest doesn’t always mean sleep, it can be stillness, gentle rituals, or doing less. Let go of the busy mindset as this is your season to honour your body’s changing needs, and learn to just be present.
Lighten the load, one step at a time
Perimenopause is a season of profound hormonal, neurological, and emotional change, and it’s no wonder that stress can feel heavier than ever during this time. With the right support, you can navigate this transition feeling calmer, clearer, and more like yourself again. If you're ready to explore personalized ways to reduce stress, support your nervous system, and build resilience from the inside out, I invite you to book a 1:1 session with me. Let’s lighten the load—together.
MJ Feeke, Nutritional Therapist
MJ is a leader in the wellness world who understands the transformative power of positive nutrition and lifestyle medicine. As a busy working woman, mom, wife, and daughter, she deeply relates to the challenges of managing stress and life load, especially for midlife women. MJ is passionate about empowering individuals to reclaim their health and live their best lives.
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