Written by Polly O'Keeffe, Baby Sleep Consultant
Polly O'Keeffe, a Certified Baby Sleep Consultant, specialises in helping children aged 0-5 develop healthy sleep habits. She works 1:1 with parents to choose methods that suit the family dynamic and the child's temperament. Polly believes babies communicate uniquely, and by listening, we can tailor sleep strategies to their sleep needs.
As a new and most likely tired parent, you’ve probably wondered, “When will my baby be able to sleep through the night?” or you’ve been asked, “Is the baby sleeping through yet?”. The first few months can be difficult as Mum is adjusting to the new baby and the baby is adjusting to the world outside the womb.
If you have a big circle of mom friends, you’ve most likely heard a couple say that their 6-week-old is already sleeping through, while other friends might complain that their 18-month-old still wakes multiple times a night. This is because babies are different, and when they will sleep through the night will depend on many factors.
Before we go any further, I need to make it clear that no one is judging or should be judging you for wanting a restful night's sleep. Mothers of our generation are now expected to be these superhuman women who do everything without question. I’m not saying we are not; we are warriors for carrying and birthing a human being. However, we are now expected to do that: take care of the house and work a full-time job, all while having the flu.
It's no wonder that our generation (yes, I, too, am a Millennial) is now seeking the help of sleep professionals to help them teach their babies to sleep independently and, as a result, sleep through the night. As a baby sleep consultant, my aim for this article is to help you understand your baby better and be able to help guide them to a full night's sleep so you can go back to being superwoman and rocking everything you do, including parenting.
What is “sleeping through the night?”
Before we start looking at age, schedule, and other factors, we first need to establish what is sleeping through the night. Some authors state that a baby sleeping 5-6 hours is considered sleeping through, while others say 8 hours. My point is that no author of baby sleep books or studies states that for a child to be considered to sleep through means sleeping 12 hours.
Therefore, if your baby goes to bed at 7 pm, wakes at 1 am for a feed but easily falls back asleep, and then wakes at 7 am for the day, guess what? Your baby already sleeps through the night. The idea that sleeping through the night means sleeping 12 hours is not seen anywhere in baby sleep literature.
I believe that the reason this has become a sought-after goal for parents is that having a baby that sleeps 12 hours overnight means the parents sleep 8 hours. Which then means they can work without being sleep deprived. No one is judging, or at least they shouldn’t be. We live in a capitalist world where if we don’t work, we don’t eat.
Therefore, for the sake of this article, let’s pretend sleeping through the night does mean sleeping 12 hours overnight.
Baby’s age
Even when a baby sleeps independently, this can vary between 6-12 months. Although some unicorn babies can sleep through from a young age, most babies are only ready to sleep through after their 6-month milestone because it’s when they start eating solid foods. But the reality is that most babies between 6-12 months may still need one middle-of-the night feed.
This factor can vary so much from baby to baby. When I work with parents, sleep quality is always the initial focus; once babies start getting quality sleep overnight, they usually start sleeping through when they are ready, all on their own.
Sleep schedule
Your baby’s schedule can determine whether they are tired enough but not too tired going to bed. Being too tired can cause overnight wakeups and/or early rising. Additionally, not being tired enough usually causes split nights, where the baby wakes up at night and takes 1-2 hours to go back to sleep.
Having a sleep schedule that helps your baby build up the right amount of sleep pressure is important in getting a good night's sleep and, in time, the baby being able to sleep through. Now, when I say sleep schedule, I don’t mean to follow the clock. You can follow your baby’s sleepy cues, or awake windows, whichever is easier for you and your lifestyle.
A sleep schedule means a baby is getting enough age-appropriate sleep and time awake in a 24-hour period. Too much daytime sleep will steal from night, and not enough will cause overtiredness.
Have you never heard of Awake Windows? Need help determining what your baby’s ideal schedule is? Check out this guide on my page.
Sleep environment
You’ve probably heard that a baby needs to sleep in a dark, cool, and noisy sleep environment. Contrary to popular belief, a dark room is not just about melatonin; it’s also about sending the right signals and reducing stimulation.
If your baby or toddler is younger than 2 years, then they only understand signs. For babies, a clear sign is that dark = sleep and light = day/play. Therefore, having a dark environment helps send this clear signal to your baby that darkness = sleep.
A cool room, with a temperature around 18-20 degrees Celsius, helps with falling asleep because it’s difficult to fall asleep in a hot room. Additionally, having a white noise machine helps in blocking out any external noises that might wake your baby up. All of these factors help keep the environment consistent throughout the night.
Feeding habits
How is your baby fed? Breast? Bottle? The biggest misconception is the thought that babies that are breastfed can’t sleep through because breast milk is digested faster. This is not true. They are actually digested the same.
However, mothers who breastfeed their babies to sleep tend to offer the breast more often as a way to get the baby to go back to sleep faster overnight, and this can become a sleep association, which means that the baby becomes used to this way of falling asleep and can’t fall asleep in any other way.
Since a bottle-fed baby can only have a certain number of bottles in a 24-hour period, parents use other methods to help their babies fall asleep. Therefore, if your baby is breastfed and you are worried about developing an association, practice other ways of helping the baby fall asleep.
Health factors
Does your baby snore? If they do snore, do they snore with their mouth open?
Sleep apnoea and tongue/lip ties are factors that need to be investigated. If you are worried about the way your baby sleeps or feeds, talk to your medical professional and don’t be scared to get a second or third opinion.
Parental practices
Where does your baby sleep? Do you co-sleep (sleep in the same room)? Do you bed-share?
These factors will also determine when your baby will start sleeping through the night. A baby that co-sleeps or bed-shares will take longer to sleep through because there are factors in the room that can wake them throughout the night.
The recommendation is for babies to sleep in the same room as their parents, but on different surfaces, for at least 6 months, ideally 12 months, due to the risk of S.I.D.S. Therefore, if your baby is in your room and under 6 months, you might just have to wait a little longer.
Activity levels
How active your baby is during the day will help them sleep better and longer during the night. This is true for all of us, which is why exercising is healthy. If you have a small baby that is still crawling, give the baby some floor time to explore, and if you have a toddler, some outside time to run around can help.
Kids need to walk/run around and explore; therefore, it is also not recommended for them to be restrained (in a stroller or highchair) for more than 1 hour at a time.
Below is the age/activity chart I share with my clients.
4-7 months—30-45 minutes spread out throughout the day.
8-11 months—around 60 minutes spread out throughout the day.
1-2 years—1.5-3 hours a day.
2-3 years—3 hours a day.
4 years+ - 3 hours a day, and at least 1 hour of those three should be energetic play.
I also advocate for no screen time for children under 3 years. There have been studies that show that decreasing activity and increasing screen time can decrease total sleep time.
See a recent study here.
Sleep independence
How does your baby go to bed? Are they assisted? Do you need to put your baby down totally asleep?
This is one of the main contributing factors that keep babies from sleeping through the night. This is because a baby that is assisted at bedtime will need help throughout the night when they wake between sleep cycles. We cannot expect a baby to sleep through the night if they don't know how.
I can imagine what you must be thinking: "There goes another sleep consultant telling me I need to put my baby down awake and walk out of the room." Nope! Ninety percent of my clients actually start putting their babies down asleep and gently moving towards awake. All the while staying in the room to offer support and only leaving when the baby is asleep.
In conclusion, while most babies will sleep through the night in their own time, there are a few things you can do to help this along. However, we need to adjust our expectations and make small changes to our routine while we wait for this day to come. If you, like myself, are a non-support parent, you may not have options and are going through motherhood without much help. Before my little one started to sleep through the night, I would go to bed at 8 pm so I could get the hours of sleep I needed.
What are your expectations around your baby sleeping through the night? Do you think they are ready? Have you tried everything you can think of, and your baby is still waking multiple times?
Need help?
You may need to learn about sleep in order to help your baby sleep. There’s no shame in admitting that not every aspect of motherhood is instinctive. If you feel you need some guidance in helping your baby learn sleep independence, click the link below to book a free 15-minute consultation.
Read more from Polly O'Keeffe
Polly O'Keeffe, Baby Sleep Consultant
Polly O'Keeffe has been where you are. Having experienced extreme sleep deprivation herself, Polly was many times advised to leave her baby to cry because "that is the only way your baby will sleep through the night."
Determined to find a gentler solution, Polly is now dedicated to showing the world that babies can learn sleep independence through gentle methods that strengthen the parent-child bond.
