Written by Tundie Berczi, Well-being Consultant
Tundie is a Well-being Consultant, Neuroscience MSc student, and expert in breathwork, meditation, and therapeutic coaching. With a background in corporate well-being, neuroscience, and holistic healing, she helps individuals and organisations reduce stress and cultivate mental clarity through science-backed and transformational practices.
Mindfulness is widely recommended as a powerful tool for reducing stress, improving focus, and supporting mental clarity. It is backed by neuroscience, endorsed by wellness experts, and embraced by everyone from Fortune 500 CEOs to Olympic athletes. But what happens when mindfulness does not work?
Many high-performing individuals, those who appear calm and in control externally, find mindfulness frustrating, ineffective, or even distressing.
This article explores why that happens and what to do instead, especially if you identify as a high-functioning professional experiencing stress, anxiety, or burnout.
When mindfulness makes things worse
For many high achievers, mindfulness does not feel calming; it feels intensifying. Slowing down brings up more thoughts, more tension, and a deep sense of discomfort. Sitting in silence becomes a battleground between the mind and the body.
You might relate to the following experiences:
Attempting to meditate and feeling more anxious as thoughts escalate
Trying breathwork but noticing shortness of breath or panic responses
Feeling disconnected during yoga, journaling, or body scans
Experiencing guilt for “failing” at relaxing or being present
Feeling emotionally flat even while following all the recommended self-care steps
These responses are not uncommon, and they are not a sign of personal weakness or failure.
They are often the result of a dysregulated nervous system.
What is a dysregulated nervous system?
Your body has a special helper inside it called the nervous system. Its job is to look around all the time and ask, “Am I safe or not safe?”
It does not listen to your thoughts; it listens to how your body feels and what is happening around you.
If you have been scared, worried, or busy for a long time, your nervous system might think it always needs to be ready for something bad, even when everything is okay.
That is why your body might feel jumpy, tired, or buzzy inside.
Now, when someone tells you to sit very still and be quiet, like during meditation or mindfulness, it might actually make your body feel more nervous, not calm.
Because your nervous system is saying, “Wait! I do not feel safe yet!”
That is not because you are doing it wrong. It just means your body needs to feel safe first before it can relax.
High-functioning anxiety: A hidden contributor
Many professionals live with what is known as high-functioning anxiety. It does not show up as panic attacks or emotional outbursts. Instead, it hides behind over-achievement, perfectionism, constant self-improvement, and people-pleasing.
Symptoms often include:
Racing thoughts, even during rest
Excessive self-monitoring or overthinking conversations
Difficulty sleeping, even when exhausted
Restlessness or fidgeting in stillness
Strong inner critic and fear of “not doing enough”
When these patterns become habitual, the nervous system stays in a sympathetic (fight-or-flight) state, and traditional mindfulness may not offer the grounding effect it promises.
Why stillness can feel unsafe
This is a key point that many wellness articles overlook: For a dysregulated nervous system, calm can feel dangerous.
Why? Because stillness may resemble past moments of powerlessness, abandonment, or emotional neglect. Or it may simply feel so unfamiliar that the body interprets it as a potential threat.
In these cases, attempting mindfulness without preparation can result in:
Emotional shutdown
Dissociation or numbness
Anxiety spikes during meditation
Tension increasing instead of decreasing
A sense of failure or frustration
This does not mean mindfulness is bad. It means the nervous system must be addressed first.
Reframing the goal: From calm to safety
Rather than aiming for instant calm, a more effective approach is to focus on building internal safety gradually and consistently.
Calm is not a goal you can force. It is a byproduct of safety.
This reframing shifts mindfulness from being a performance into a relationship with your inner world.
Instead of asking, “How do I calm down?” you begin to ask:
“What would help my body feel just 1% safer right now?”
“What sensations in my body feel neutral or even slightly pleasant?”
“How can I support myself in this moment, instead of trying to fix myself?”
This is the beginning of nervous system regulation, and it lays the groundwork for deeper mindfulness.
Why support matters: Therapy for high-functioning professionals
Many people who struggle with mindfulness feel isolated in their experience. They believe they should be able to “figure it out” on their own.
But high-functioning anxiety is exhausting and often invisible to others. It helps to work with someone who understands how success can mask chronic stress and how the nervous system plays a key role in healing.
Working with a therapist or coach trained in mindfulness-based therapy, somatic techniques, and trauma-informed care can help you:
Learn to identify your unique stress patterns
Shift from overthinking to embodiment
Create sustainable daily practices
Rebuild a sense of internal trust and regulation
Feel safe being present, not just productive
You are not doing it wrong
If traditional mindfulness feels inaccessible to you, it does not mean you are broken or doing it wrong. It may simply mean your nervous system needs to feel safe before it can feel still.
This is the kind of work I specialise in, blending mindfulness-based therapy, nervous system regulation, and practical tools grounded in neuroscience and embodied awareness to help you reconnect with yourself in a way that feels safe, steady, and supportive.
If something in this article resonates with you, I invite you to pause and honour that. You do not need to decide anything right now, but if and when you feel curious to explore this work more deeply, I would be honoured to support you.
Learn more here.
Read more from Tundie Berczi
Tundie Berczi, Well-being Consultant
Tundie is a Well-being Consultant specialising in stress management, resilience, and workplace wellness. With over a decade in the corporate world, she understands the demands of high-performance environments and integrates neuroscience, breathwork, and holistic therapies to create effective well-being solutions. She delivers corporate workshops, individual coaching, and breathwork meditation programs designed to help people gain clarity, balance, and focus. As a Cognitive Neuroscience student and certified Pranayama Breathwork and Meditation Teacher, Therapist, and Coach, she merges science with holistic practices to facilitate deep, lasting transformation.
References:
Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-Regulation. W. W. Norton & Company.
Siegel, D. J. (2010). The Mindful Therapist: A Clinician's Guide to Mindsight and Neural Integration. W. W. Norton & Company.
Davidson, R. J., & McEwen, B. S. (2012). Social influences on neuroplasticity: Stress and interventions to promote well-being. Nature Neuroscience, 15(5), 689–695.
Vago, D. R., & Silbersweig, D. A. (2012). Self-awareness, self-regulation, and self-transcendence (S-ART): A framework for understanding the neurobiological mechanisms of mindfulness. Frontiers in Human Neuroscience, 6, 296.
