Written by Rena Hope Barnett Matthews, Attorney Career Coach
Rena Barnett Matthews is an executive legal recruiter with nearly two decades of experience placing attorneys in top law firms and Fortune 500 companies. A former practicing lawyer, she offers unique insights as a career coach, helping attorneys navigate career transitions and advancement in the legal field.
Congratulations! You've survived law school and emerged with a degree that cost more than your car, first apartment, and possibly even your soul. Now, as you bask in the sheer brilliance of your legal prowess, why not take it up a notch and splurge on a legal career coach? Because nothing screams "I'm committed to success," like shelling out even more cash to learn how to excel in the job for which you've spent years studying.
Mastering the dark arts of billable hours: Time lord edition
Your career coach, a Jedi Master of chronological manipulation, will teach you to bend the space-time continuum to your advantage. Learn to transform a 30-second email into a billable hour, a trip to the bathroom into a "client strategizing session," and your Netflix binge into "case law research." It's not time theft; it's a "creative chronological interpretation." Soon, you'll be billing for thoughts you haven't even had yet and making partner faster than you can say "billable hours for daydreaming." Of course, if any of this billable hour jargon fails to make sense, you definitely need to contact a career coach.
Decoding partner-speak: The rosetta stone of legal mumbo-jumbo
Discover that "Good job" means "I fell asleep reading this," "Let's circle back" translates to "I'm hoping you'll forget this exists," and "We value work-life balance" actually means "Hope you enjoy the taste of instant noodles under your desk at 3 AM." Bonus: Learn to decipher the hidden messages in their sighs, eye-rolls, and passive-aggressive font choices. By the end of this module, you'll speak Partnerese so fluently, you'll understand why the office plants are climbing the corporate ladder faster than you.
Resume writing and interview preparation: Making paper and persona shine
Your career coach isn't just a time-bending wizard and decoding master; they're your secret weapon for conquering the world of resumes and interviews. Learn the art of crafting a resume that sparkles brighter than a freshly polished gavel. Your coach will teach you how to turn your legal victories into epic courtroom dramas on paper, making mundane tasks sound like heroic legal conquests. Master the skill of interview preparation, where "Tell me about yourself" becomes a riveting legal narrative and "What are your strengths?" transforms into a strategic showcase of your legal prowess. By the end of this module, your resume will argue its way out of a traffic ticket, and you'll interview with such finesse that partners will want you to consult on their career moves.
Networking for the socially awkward: Small talk without hyperventilating
Transform from a potted plant impersonator into the life of the legal party. Learn how to network without using the cheese platter as a shield or pretending your phone is ringing (pro tip: it fools no one when it's a stapler). Master conversation starters like, "So, how about that new tax code? It's like '50 Shades of Grey' for accountants, right?" Your coach will teach you to smile and nod convincingly while your brain screams, "Is that spinach in my teeth or just the remnants of my self-esteem?" Soon, you'll be collecting business cards like they're Pokémon and making connections faster than you can say, "objection sustained!"
Dress for success (or at least to hide the coffee stains)
Discover the art of looking like a million bucks on an "I can't afford to super-size my value meal" budget. Learn to repurpose that one good suit so many times it becomes sentient and starts arguing cases for you. Master the "My socks don't match because I'm making a statement about the duality of man" look and the "This isn't a coffee stain, it's a Jackson Pollock original" attitude. By the end of this module, you'll be able to convince clients you're worth $1000 an hour while secretly calculating if you can afford to splurge on DoorDash this week.
Imposter syndrome management: Fake it till you accidentally make it
Silence that inner voice that keeps asking, "How did I end up here?" and "Is it too late to become a TikTok influencer?" Your coach will provide a steady stream of affirmations like, "You're doing great! No one knows you're secretly Googling 'What is a plaintiff?'" and "Confidence is just fear that's had one too many espressos!" Master the art of nodding sagely while internally screaming and learn to use phrases like "In my professional opinion" with such conviction that you start to believe you have one. Master the "I meant to trip on that flat surface" recovery, the "I'm not lost, I'm inspecting the architectural integrity of this office" wandering technique, and the "I'm contemplating groundbreaking legal theories, not fighting a food coma" head nod. Learn to strut through the office like you own the place, even if you're scurrying to ugly-cry in the supply closet.
King of the in-house hill: Negotiating your way to the top of corporate counsel heap
Your career coach can teach you the fine art of negotiating in-house counsel positions, where you'll learn to weave legal arguments so compelling HR departments will start consulting you on their employment contracts. From leveraging obscure legal precedents (like the Magna Carta’s influence on modern bonus structures) to drafting emails so persuasive, they could convince the general counsel to rule in favor of Taco Tuesday becoming a permanent office policy. Soon, you'll be so irresistible to employers that recruiters will fight over you like it's Black Friday at a legal conference. Just remember, when you land that dream in-house counsel gig, your career coach gets 10% of your signing bonus and unlimited access to the office espresso machine.
Business planning and lateral partner questionnaire preparation: Plotting your legal takeover
Your legal career coach’s assistance isn't just about mastering the dark arts of billable hours and deciphering partner-speak; they're your accomplice in plotting world legal domination through business planning and lateral partner maneuvers. Learn to craft a persuasive business plan that could sell ice to polar bears in Antarctica. Your coach will teach you to identify untapped legal markets, devise client-wooing strategies, and predict revenue like a clairvoyant. Perfect the art of preparing for daunting lateral partner interviews and questionnaires, turning self-promotion into a natural courtroom objection. By the end of this module, your business plan will be so irresistible that rival firms will suspect you've hired a legal Hogwarts graduate. With your coach's guidance, you'll conquer interviews with the swagger of a rock star about to go platinum. Because in law, it's not just about billable hours; it's about strategically billing your way to the top, one witty legal argument at a time.
The fine art of CYA (cover your assets): Legal ninja edition
Master the subtle yet crucial skill of self-preservation in the shark tank of law. Learn to write emails so carefully worded that even if they're read aloud in court, performed as an interpretive dance, and translated into hieroglyphics, you'll still come out smelling like roses. Discover the power of strategic cc'ing, the beauty of vague language, and the art of taking credit for successes while deflecting blame for failures with the grace of a cat pretending it meant to fall off that table.
Client management: Herding cats while juggling flaming chainsaws
Speaking of cats, learn how to manage client expectations, like gently explaining why their "quick little prenup" can't be done during a commercial break. Master the art of nodding sympathetically while mentally calculating your billable hours and planning your grocery list. Your coach will teach you the delicate balance of keeping clients happy without actually promising anything concrete and how to say, "That's an interesting legal strategy," when you really mean, "Did you get your law degree from a cereal box?" You'll learn to translate "The client is always right" into "The client is always billable, especially when they're wrong," and how to smile through gritted teeth as you explain for the umpteenth time why their favorite legal drama isn't admissible as evidence.
Giving notice and maintaining business relationships: Exit strategies and eternal alliances
Your career coach will guide you through this delicate dance, teaching you how to craft a resignation letter so gracefully worded that it could bring a tear to the eye of even the most hardened managing partner. Master the art of scheduling that dreaded exit interview without accidentally setting off the office fire alarm and learn to navigate the awkwardness of colleagues trying to steal your favorite stapler when they think you're not looking. But wait, the adventure doesn't end there! Your coach will also teach you the fine art of maintaining business relationships. Discover how to bid farewell without burning bridges—because you never know when you'll need a favor from that one partner who always mispronounced your name. Learn to keep your LinkedIn profile updated with all the finesse of a social media influencer and how to casually mention your new job without sounding like you're bragging (even though you totally are). Your coach will reveal secrets on how to network with your former colleagues at legal events without it feeling like a tense family reunion and how to gracefully accept their LinkedIn endorsements for skills you didn't even know you had. By the end of this module, you'll leave your old firm with your dignity intact, a trail of LinkedIn connections longer than the US Tax Code, and possibly even a standing invitation to the annual holiday party. Because in law, just like in life, it's not always about winning cases—it's about leaving a legacy of legal prowess and professional grace. And maybe, just maybe, avoiding any awkward encounters with your old office plant, who's now a managing partner in the firm.
So go ahead and hire that career coach. Because in the cutthroat world of law, if you can't beat 'em, at least learn to bluff so convincingly that you fool even yourself. Who knows? You may wake up one day and realize you've accidentally become successful.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go bill someone for the time it took to write this article. Time to put my creative chronological interpretation skills to the test!
Rena Hope Barnett Matthews, Attorney Career Coach
Rena Barnett Matthews is an executive legal recruiter with nearly two decades of experience, placing attorneys nationwide and internationally in leading law firms and Fortune 500 companies. Her background as a former practicing attorney gives her invaluable insights into the legal profession. Rena has supported attorneys throughout their careers, from junior associates to managing partners and C-suite legal officers. As the founder of attorney-career-coach.com, Rena offers her expertise to law students, associates, counsels, partners, and in-house attorneys from junior to chief legal officers; helping them navigate the complexities of the legal job market and advance their careers, empowering them to reach their full potentials.
