Jamie Dandar McKinney, MBA, is an award-winning coach and the best-selling author of Speak Up, Sister! The Professional Woman's Guide to Confidence and Success. Recognized as an Emerging Training Leader and a Top Woman in Energy, Jamie jokes that her stilettos have steel toes.
While recently speaking to a group, I posed a seemingly innocent question that triggered an almost Pavlovian response of hands shooting up in the air with spirited conviction: How many of you have strong opinions about which way the toilet paper roll falls? It turns out that people (you?) have big, bold, borderline belligerent feelings about this subject.
For decades, households and workplaces alike have been divided into two camps: "Over" (a.k.a. the "civilized" folk) and "Under" (the renegades). It's a debate as old as indoor plumbing yet as divisive as the Oxford comma.
I, too, once had a staunch opinion on the matter. My roll had to fall under, and I would silently judge anyone whose rolls dared to fall over. But then came a year of big life changes: new career complexities, a whirlwind of family events, and, most significantly, hiring a nanny. This wonderful nanny shared her talents, her warmth, and gasp her preference for the over roll. It was a clash of titans until it wasn't. One day, I just decided: This is not the hill I'm dying on. That moment of surrender was oddly freeing.
If you're still entrenched in the TP wars, here are three reasons to wave your white (or two-ply) flag and how letting go of this seemingly small issue can also free up some time and energy at work.
1. The details that consume you often don't matter to others
In the workplace, it's easy to fixate on minor details that don't ultimately affect outcomes. For example, whether the agenda is emailed or included in the invite is unlikely to make or break the meeting. Yet, debates over such trivialities can consume valuable time and mental energy. Hover above the issue and focus instead on what truly matters, delivering impactful results. Letting go of small battles will free your mind for larger, more meaningful challenges.
2. Time spent fixating is better spent collaborating
Picture this: your team is embroiled in a heated debate about the "right" way to name files on a shared drive while a critical deadline looms. Much like the great toilet paper debate, the specifics of file-naming conventions pale in comparison to the bigger goal of ensuring the files are accessible and organized. Letting go of minor preferences opens the door to collaboration, efficiency, and a more harmonious team dynamic. What's the expression? Would you rather be right or happy? Or, more importantly, productive?
3. Letting go of control can boost your leadership
As leaders, we often get stuck in a cycle of micromanagement, believing our way is the only way. Control can hinder progress and morale, whether it's a meeting agenda, a file-naming system, or even who gets to choose the office playlist. Letting go of small, inconsequential preferences demonstrates trust in your team and fosters creativity. Sometimes, the best outcomes arise when you step back and let others take the lead.
Conclusion: Freedom lies beyond the toilet paper roll
Ultimately, the toilet paper debate symbolizes our desire for control in chaos. But the truth is, not every detail matters. By releasing your grip on trivial issues, you'll find more energy to focus on what truly moves the needle in your professional and personal life.
So, whether it's about file organization, agenda details, or, yes, the direction of the toilet paper roll, take a deep breath and roll with it. You might discover that life and work become a lot smoother when you stop sweating the small stuff. We can then turn our attention to more important matters, like who’s responsible for replacing the roll when it runs out.
Jamie McKinney is a recovering perfectionist, professional development coach, and leadership expert. For more ideas on how to break the chains of control and focus on what truly matters, message her here.
Jamie McKinney, Leadership Coach l Speaker l Author
Jamie Dandar McKinney, MBA, is an award-winning coach and the best-selling author of Speak Up, Sister! The Professional Woman's Guide to Confidence and Success. Recognized as an Emerging Training Leader and a Top Woman in Energy, Jamie jokes that her stilettos have steel toes. After two decades in male-dominated industries, Jamie mastered building confidence as deliberately as building muscle and leading with authenticity. Through her dynamic programs—The 3 Pillars of Leadership and Speak UP to Level UP®—she empowers you to ditch doubts, amplify your voice, and propel your career. Get ready for results with Coach Jamie championing you!
