Written by: Amy Goober, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Now it’s out there, I hate the word stuck. When you say it out loud your voice and even your mouth actually feel stuck. It’s a short word with an unappealing sound. The imagery of being stuck in quicksand or stuck in traffic is equally unappealing!
According to the dictionary, the definition of stuck is:
unable to move from a particular position or place
unable to change a situation
What about you? Would you say you are stuck? Are you in a position you can’t move away from? Are you stuck in your job, your love life, your body, your routines?
If your answer to any of these questions is ‘yes’ than you may hate the word stuck as much as I do! I hate the word stuck because most of the time we are not truly stuck at all. Most of the time we have the ability to control some element of where we are or what we are doing so we can move forward and get out of being stuck! Saying “I’m stuck” can be a convenient way of saying, “I just don’t know how to move forward” or “I just don’t want to”.
Just by saying “I’m stuck” implies that you cannot change your situation. I’m stuck with this curly hair. I’m stuck in a dead-end job. I’m stuck with these flabby arms. I’m stuck with a selfish boyfriend. You are only stuck with the things you cannot change or chose not to change. I’m a believer in knowing the difference between the things you can’t change and the things you can change. And once you figure that out, you can get going on the ones you have some control over.
Here are the 5 steps to take to get yourself UNSTUCK —
1. Look in your rearview mirror: This provides you with a different perspective. To theoretically look in your rearview mirror, you have to look into your past. I’m a believer in moving forward and not backward. However, to really appreciate what you have already accomplished, you need to examine what’s in your rearview mirror. What jobs, tasks, activities, and life situations have you had, AND what skills and traits do they translate into? That’s why you have to look back to move forward. Make a list of 10 things you’ve done or been through in the past and assign a talent, skill, or trait to each of them. For example, if you were once a waitress, that translates into people skills, responsibility, multi-tasking, etc. Now you are on your way to reminding yourself what you already have inside to propel you forward.
2. Look in the mirror: Yes, look in the mirror. What do you see? Most of the time when we look in the mirror we are trying to ‘do’ something like brush our teeth, curl our hair, or check our clothing. This time, I want you to look in the mirror just to see yourself. Think about who you are and what you want. Take some time to just look at yourself. What are 3 things you feel ‘stuck’ about in your life? Just 3. Write them down, send yourself a text or email, or at least say them out loud! I feel stuck with: 1, 2, 3.
3. Find your focus: You’re not going to be able to move forward on all of the challenging areas in your life at the same time. Now is the time to find just ONE of the items from your list in 2 and decide which of them is going to be your area of focus! I’m sure you’re getting excited about not being stuck in anything, but this process only works if you can select one area of your life at a time. In doing so you will be choosing what is most important to you now and committing to one thing. That will give you direction you need to make progress.
4. Figure out why: What is keeping you stuck where you are in this particular area? If it’s your job, what is keeping you glued to that position in that company? Is it the paycheck? Is it the security? Is it your parents’ dream that are a __________? Why are you stuck in this job?
Is it your love relationship that you feel stuck with? Why? Is it the comfort of having someone to lean on? Is it the stability of a relationship? Is it laziness on your part to not have to venture out and find someone different or better? Only you can determine why you are stuck in any area of your life. And now is the time to figure that out for yourself by asking why.
5. Write down the very first step: In the coaching that I do the first step is always something that takes no longer than 30 minutes. You have to figure out your very first small move forward. You need to promise yourself you will spend no more than 30 minutes on this first step. Why? Because if you choose a large task that will take a lot of time and effort, you will most likely keep putting it off over and over again. If, however, you choose a doable, completable first step, you will get that done and gain some confidence. That confidence will help you move forward to tackle subsequent tasks and before you know it, you will not be stuck anymore!
So if you hate the word stuck as much as I do, just follow the 5 steps above to get some traction and pull yourself forward. As Sir Isaac Newton said, “An object in motion stays in motion”. So get moving!
Find out more about Amy on her Facebook, Instagram, Linkedin and get into action at her website!
Amy Goober, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Amy Goober’s newest program, Drive Your Life ™, helps women put themselves back on the To-Do List and get into action. Drive Your Life ™ is a dynamic signature talk, focused small group coaching program, vibrant Facebook group, and soon-to-be-published book. Amy’s program supports women to get into the driver’s seat of their own lives using a unique 5 step process to start moving forward. With this program, women are finding success in many areas, including career, health and wellness, love relationships, parenting, friends, and activities.
Amy received her B.S. in psychology from Cornell University. She opened The Icing on the Cake, a Boston cake bakery, at 26 in 1986. She has since sold it, but it continues to be one of the top bakeries in the Boston area. Amy has helped over 600 clients in her 7 years of health and wellness coaching. Amy has moved from bakery founder to stay-at-home Mom, seasoned health coach, and now founder of Drive Your Life ™. She speaks on leadership, health and wellness, and personal motivation topics.
