Amy Strekas, founder of Speech, Language, Learning PLLC, offers individualized coaching for neurodivergent clients of all ages. With over 20 years of experience, Amy, an autistic ADHDer herself and mom to a neurodiverse child, uniquely blends expertise and empathy to help individuals and families overcome challenges.
High-masking autism, where individuals camouflage their traits to fit in, often goes undetected, leading to unique challenges. This hidden form of autism can result in significant emotional, mental, and physical costs as people struggle to maintain a facade. In this article, we explore why high-masking autism remains overlooked and the impact of suppressing one’s authentic self.
What is high-masking autism?
Autism is often seen through a narrow lens, where behaviors like stimming, lack of eye contact, and limited verbal communication are considered defining traits. But for many autistic individuals, these traits can be nearly invisible, leading to a unique presentation often referred to as “high-masking autism.” Unlike the stereotypical picture of autism, people with high-masking autism may appear highly capable, socially fluent, and even outgoing, but this façade is often maintained at a significant personal cost. Understanding high-masking autism involves looking beyond the surface and recognizing the intense effort and exhaustion it takes to camouflage autistic traits. Let’s explore what high-masking autism is, why it happens, and how it impacts the lives of those who experience it.
Defining high-masking autism
High-masking autism, sometimes called “camouflaging” or “compensatory strategies,” refers to the ability of some autistic individuals to hide their autistic traits to blend in with neurotypical peers. The term “masking” is used because it’s like putting on a mask to present as someone they’re not. This can involve suppressing behaviors typically associated with autism like avoiding stimming, mimicking socially acceptable body language, or forcing oneself to make eye contact, even if it feels uncomfortable. Often, this ability is developed unconsciously and starts at a young age. It’s a response to social expectations, bullying, or a desire to connect, but it doesn’t come naturally.
For individuals who mask, every social interaction can feel like a performance. They carefully monitor themselves, track the cues of others, and adjust their responses to maintain the “mask.” While high-masking might seem like a positive skill or even a sign of “higher functioning,” it’s important to recognize that masking is more of a survival strategy than a strength. In fact, masking is strongly correlated with higher levels of anxiety, depression, and burnout in autistic people, and it often delays diagnosis or leads to a complete lack of understanding from professionals, friends, and family.
Why do people mask?
People mask for a variety of reasons, most of which center around fitting in, staying safe, and being accepted. These can include:
Social expectations: Society values and rewards conformity to neurotypical norms. This can lead to masking as a way to be seen as “normal” and avoid standing out.
Avoiding judgment: High-masking autistic individuals often feel the pressure to hide behaviors that are misunderstood or pathologized. For example, rocking, hand-flapping, or avoiding eye contact might be seen as inappropriate, weird, or rude.
Preventing bullying or exclusion: Many children and adults mask to avoid negative social experiences like bullying, rejection, or isolation. By blending in, they hope to avoid becoming targets.
Desire to connect: Masking can also be driven by a deep desire to connect with others. By mimicking social behaviors, some individuals try to create a sense of rapport, even if it’s difficult to maintain.
Delayed diagnosis: High-masking is a key reason why many autistic people—especially women and people assigned female at birth—are diagnosed much later in life or not at all. Because they’ve spent years adapting and hiding, they may not fit the traditional autism criteria, which is still heavily based on outward behaviors rather than internal experiences.
The cost of masking
While masking may help people survive socially, it often comes with severe mental health consequences. High-masking individuals can experience:
Exhaustion and burnout: Maintaining the mask is a 24/7 job, and it’s exhausting. Social situations that are already tiring for many autistic people become doubly draining when masking is involved. Over time, this can lead to autistic burnout, a state of extreme physical, mental, and emotional fatigue.
Loss of identity: Because masking requires putting on a persona, individuals may feel disconnected from who they truly are. This can create a sense of identity confusion and a feeling of “not knowing who I am.”
Higher rates of anxiety and depression: Masking is linked with higher levels of mental health issues, including anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts. The constant pressure to be someone else and the fear of being “found out” is incredibly stressful.
Delayed or missed diagnosis: Masking can obscure the presence of autism to clinicians, leading to misdiagnoses or a complete lack of diagnosis. This means high-masking individuals often go without appropriate supports and accommodations.
Recognizing high-masking autism
High-masking autism doesn’t always look like the stereotypical picture of autism. It’s characterized more by internal struggles than by external behaviors. To recognize high-masking autism, it’s important to look at patterns that might not be immediately visible. These include:
Social chameleoning: Individuals with high-masking autism may adjust their personalities and behaviors depending on the social group they’re in. For example, they might adopt the mannerisms and interests of their peers, even if they’re not genuinely interested.
Intense monitoring of social interactions: Many high-masking autistic people report that they are hyper-aware of their own body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice. They might practice smiling in the mirror, rehearse conversations, or mimic others’ speech patterns.
Post-social exhaustion: After masking through a long social interaction, individuals often feel drained and may need extended time alone to recover.
High levels of self-criticism: Because they are constantly trying to fit in, high-masking autistic individuals tend to be very hard on themselves, analyzing every interaction and worrying that they’ve “messed up.”
Delayed expression of emotions: Some people suppress their emotions when around others and only express them later, sometimes in private “meltdowns” or “shutdowns.”
Perfectionism and people-pleasing: Often, high-masking is associated with perfectionism and a desire to please others. This can make it difficult for these individuals to assert their needs and boundaries.
Supporting high-masking autistic individuals
Supporting high-masking individuals involves creating environments where they feel safe to be themselves without judgment or expectation. This starts with:
Creating autistic-affirming spaces: Encourage self-expression, whether it’s through stimming, taking breaks, or using different communication styles. Make it clear that it’s okay to “unmask.”
Recognizing and respecting boundaries: High-masking individuals may have a hard time saying “no” because they’re used to putting others’ needs first. Respect their boundaries and be mindful of the pressure you may unknowingly place on them.
Providing validation: Recognize that masking is a skill they’ve developed to cope with a world that often isn’t accommodating. Validating their experiences, frustrations, and emotions is crucial.
Promoting authenticity over conformity: Encourage authentic self-expression instead of conforming to neurotypical norms. Let them know it’s okay to be different and support them in understanding that being true to themselves is more important than fitting in.
Access to autistic communities: Peer support can be invaluable. Connecting with other autistic people who understand the experience of masking can help reduce feelings of isolation and promote a sense of belonging. An easy place to start may be a book or a podcast, for example the Uniquely Human podcast covers many topics related to Autism. Also, in his book Unmasking Autism, Dr. Devon Price, writes about his and others’ experiences of masking autism, along with his original research on the subject.
The future of understanding high-masking autism
High-masking autism is still a relatively new concept, and it challenges traditional views of autism that focus primarily on external behaviors. As our understanding deepens, it’s essential to advocate for more nuanced diagnostic criteria that consider the diversity of expression of autism across identities. High-masking autistic people deserve to be seen, heard, and supported just as much as those whose traits are more visibly expressed. By recognizing and validating the lived experiences of high-masking individuals, we can begin to create a world where they don’t feel the need to mask at all.
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Amy Strekas, Holistic Neurodivergent & Communication Coach
Amy Strekas is the founder of Speech, Language, Learning PLLC and a seasoned expert in child development and neurodiversity. With over 20 years of experience as a speech-language pathologist and coach, Amy brings a unique blend of expertise and empathy to her work. As an autistic ADHDer and a devoted mom to a neurodiverse child, she offers a fresh perspective and invaluable insights into overcoming challenges. Check out Amy's articles for useful tips on navigating the complexities of parenting, stuttering, autism, and ADHD.
