Penelope Ling is an award-winning solution-focused hypnotherapist specialising in phobias. She founded Penelope Ling Hypnotherapy and is the author of the book Driving me crazy – overcome the fear of driving. She regularly contributes to magazines like Happiful and guests on podcasts and BBC local radio.
Have you ever moved from job to job in your chosen career, finding that you don’t feel you fit in? Maybe you’ve convinced yourself that the next company you work for will be different. Maybe you are questioning your sanity. Is it you or the job? Keep reading to discover whether it’s your values and beliefs which are placing you in this position and possibly jeopardising your career.
What role do values and beliefs play in choosing a career?
In the 1990s, I was happily working in the publishing industry in magazines and newspapers. I was happy with my career as a graphic designer. I truly enjoyed being part of a community. Then the internet came along. I could see it would revolutionize the industry. I needed to be part of it. 7 years later, I had worked for 3 separate companies and was questioning my sanity. The expression out of the frying pan into the fire best described my career at that point.
How do values affect career choice?
My career aspiration was to be a creator. Through school, I focused on math, computing, technical drawing, and art. Though I went to study architecture, graphics was my passion. The magazine and newspaper industry had a well-established presence, and I had previously worked in the British Newspaper library in London, so I desired to be a part of that heritage. It sat well with my values on community, history and exposing hypocrisy and unfairness. I learnt the hard way that the IT industry was in another league and could end my career in design.
When do value differences show in a career?
Value differences show when you become unhappy about some aspect of your chosen career. Maybe you disagree with the structure or who gets allocated work. Possibly you witness misogyny, unfairness, racism or bullying and that doesn’t feel right to you. Regrettably, it still exists despite the times. Perhaps you are a helpful individual and your company policy is to charge all customers for help, which you don’t agree with. Sometimes it can be that the staff are all into outside activities which you don’t enjoy. If you make a complaint or start a grievance procedure, others may perceive you as a troublemaker. In one company, it’s unfortunate. If you have worked for many like that, it’s the industry. Time to rethink your career path.
Where in your career did it go wrong?
Sometimes our career falters because the industry values differ from our own. If someone values wildlife and the company changes policy, to pollute will cause a shift. Selling to new markets which have a poor reputation for human rights may be behind the change. You may have recently married and working all hours is now impossible and causing friction with co-workers who think you’re slacking. Carefully examine changes to convert problems to solutions.
Is your problem within your chosen career money?
Problems with values can also arise in self-employed career choices, such as being a therapist. One’s belief around money and worth can mean that a therapist under charges and not only devalues their own gifts but the other therapists as well. Feeling wrong about charging money for something you are doing for a living helping people does not help anyone. I see so many new therapists pack in the work because they won’t charge what they are worth. If you’re thinking about changing your career to one of a therapist, check to see if you can provide services within a care provider such as the NHS.
8 areas you can think about to identify a miss match of values
Just because the companies you have worked for don’t resonate with your value system, it doesn’t mean you have wasted your entire education. Sometimes it’s about thinking ahead and, or laterally.
Find other industries to use your skills
Let’s say that you have trained for a career in the automotive industry. The lack of promotion or the wrong people getting promoted can jar with your values, especially if it’s, say, motor sports. Explore other industries, like railways, that appeal to enthusiasts and prioritize values over ruthless competition. Or perhaps the aeronautical industry with higher than usual standards. Do your research. Talk to people in the industry. I spent a couple of years using my IT database skills working for the railways and it sat with my values of community and cooperation very well.
Think ahead
When you go for an interview, they often ask you where you imagine yourself in five years. Few consider it; earning in the present is challenging. Consider your desires to find hints about life goals. Some of my clients struggling with value differences want to start families. That’s fine, but it must be a viable option. Think about what it would be like when you’re 40, 50 or even in your 60s. Could you do the same job? Would the commute be difficult?
Will your job still be there in 10 years?
What role does technology play in your chosen career? What about market difficulties? Will your job be radically different because technology will take over certain roles? These are all questions you need to ask yourself. Back in the 1980s, I worked as a finished artist, doing everything manually. No computers. I used computers in the 90s then the internet allowed remote work. Work in publishing and IT was relocated abroad because the workforce was cheaper. The economy crash of 2008 closed the publication I was working for, which is how I ended up a therapist. Understanding that these changes can occur can help you plan. Look at the new technology that’s coming up and ask yourself how that will affect your career?
Is the only way up?
Being geographically close to the UK automotive and motor sports industry, I’ve seen many people with careers in this field. One aspect that stands out is promoting the best person. It’s not about mileage or training in the company, but suitability for the role. Do you know your limitations? Perhaps promotion is only ego massaging. Sometimes you may feel frustrated that you’re not going anywhere. Speaking to your immediate boss is the best thing to do in these circumstances.
Retrain
If you decide you have no choice but to set out on an alternate career path, it is expensive to retrain and again you need to do your research. You don’t want to retrain and embark on a career only to realise that you’ve made a grave mistake. Determine if what you value has employment opportunities. I work with therapists who have retrained because of the helpfulness of therapy, only to discover many others offering the same service. Do your homework before signing up for any courses. What qualifications are required and what courses are available? For example, in the UK, those who have fully trained as talking therapists can be a member of the BACP, which the NHS recognises. The UK government recognises technology changes and skills need improving. Check out to see what your local government provides in your region.
Think about it differently
It’s not the easiest thing to do, but recognizing that your values and beliefs within your career choice don’t gel with the industry is the first step to changing your thoughts. Instead of seeing yourself as a victim of the system, look for opportunities for change. Move into an alternative part of the business. From technical to marketing, for example, or research and design. Mind map all the directions you can move in so that you learn new skills which are transferable to other industries, such as moving into HR. When the pressure is gone, clear thinking is possible for finding solutions.
Blame-shifting and narcissistic colleagues
When faced with criticism or accountability, are you too quick to shift blame onto others to avoid taking responsibility? Consider working on this aspect of your staff interaction. I work with many individuals with confidence issues and anxiety. Lack of self-belief can make a person withdraw and fear decision making. It could be childhood trauma, or a certain type of person triggering that behaviour. Why might a certain individual be making it challenging to resolve conflicts constructively? Is anyone focusing purely on you, or are they spreading the criticism around the other employees? A mismatch of values and beliefs can allow narcistic behaviour to take hold. Be aware and escalate this to higher management.
Ineffective management
If in your career you value structure, explicit instruction, fairness and support for ideas. Being able to implement them is essential, otherwise you feel barred from doing your job properly. Note how others interact with one another. If they too are not achieving what’s needed, speak to them to see what’s the real problem. If the problem is that your line manager is ineffective, then it affects everyone under their command. Does the manager’s manager have a problem with them, too? By being more aware of the group dynamics, you won’t feel like the problem is you. Sometimes drawing a mind map can clarify the problem areas, who’s responsible and how they get problems resolved. Where do you fit into all this? Maybe checking out the other departments means you’re not frustrated by the line manager. Moving sideways is easier and sometimes more effective than changing companies or careers.
Understanding other people’s values
Sometimes your career may improve by being more aware of other people’s values and beliefs. Never be afraid to ask questions, either. Asking why something is important to a person can change the way you feel about a situation. In one of the IT companies where I worked in the late 90s; the managing director micromanaged the staff in the company. Some were unhappy and actively sought new companies to join. I initially felt this way until I realised that his behaviour meant that he would never get his dream, because he didn’t trust any employee to do their job. That was such a pity that he didn’t recognise the problem was himself. If he had valued the work, the staff carried out, he would have achieved his dreams, no doubt, and have the career he wanted.
Can career values change?
Sometimes you may realise that certain career values are difficult or impossible to live by. You know your integrity, but circumstances dictate it may not be viable. For example, someone who has strong values around the environment may face having to use a company car which doesn’t fit into that value set. You can’t afford the car you want. What do you do? Leave the job and lose the security of the wage or wait out until you can afford what you want? Sometimes you just must sit on those values until it is right and tweak them according to circumstance.
Early recognition matters
In conclusion, being able to recognize the early signs of unhappiness in your chosen career is crucial for maintaining your well-being and happiness. By understanding the warning signs, you can protect yourself from potential harm and make informed decisions about your future. If you’re not sure what your next move is, it may be time to evaluate the situation and seek support if needed. Remember, your emotional health is paramount for your chosen career. If you need to reduce your anxiety and understand your value system, I have helped many men and women over the past 17 years to move on in their chosen field or to look for alternatives.
Penelope Ling, Solution-focused Hypnotherapist
Penelope Ling BA is a solution-focused hypnotherapist and author. She became a specialist in phobias having many as a child and a fear of driving as an adult, which left her unable to drive for 13 years. Having conquered those fears during training, the decision to help others overcome their limitations was simple. She helps her clients overcome their fears, and phobias achieving a more fulfilling anxiety-free life.
