Dr. Sandra E. Cohen is a psychoanalyst and trauma-informed psychotherapist. For over 40 years, she has specialized in the treatment of childhood trauma and its aftereffects. Speaker. Author. Educator.
Anxiety is a terrible thing to live with. You’ve probably struggled with it for many years; that’s not uncommon. Like a lot of people with anxiety, you may have tried everything and still don’t know why you’re so anxious. It could be your childhood trauma. Childhood trauma causes anxiety. That’s a fact. Yet, you’re probably wondering why you’re still so anxious as an adult. Your trauma happened a long time ago. You went on. You’ve done your best to put your childhood behind you. Could your constant anxiety still be because of your early trauma? Yes. This article will discuss why you’re still anxious, what can trigger anxiety, and how to heal.
Why are you still anxious after childhood trauma?
The most straightforward and universal answers to why you still suffer from a lot of anxiety if you were traumatized as a child are some of these common after-effects of childhood trauma:
You never feel good enough.
You’re afraid of humiliation.
You constantly feel judged.
You have insecure attachments.
You live with catastrophic fears.
You distrust people and love.
Yet, the specifics of these experiences are unique. Your childhood isn’t the same as anyone else’s.
But childhood trauma, whatever form it took (physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, abandonment, criticism, rejection, loneliness, lack of love, unpredictable love, or the loss of a parent), means that you lived in fear and uncertainty. Fear and uncertainty breed anxiety.
Living with fear and uncertainty affects your nervous system and emotional well-being. You are probably hyper-alert for any kind of danger, including the things that could hurt you emotionally.
That makes it impossible to relax. Being hyper-alert is one of the primary symptoms of PTSD. If you were traumatized as a child, even if you think you’re “over it,” you likely have PTSD, maybe even Complex PTSD (C-PTSD). This means there are “triggers” you don’t see for your anxiety.
Anxiety triggers, PTSD & childhood trauma
Triggers happen to anyone who lives with PTSD and went through trauma as a child. You might wonder: What is a trigger? It’s a situation that takes you back to something traumatic that happened to you before. It’s like the whole situation is happening again now. Being triggered is common in traumatized people. If you are triggered, that means that you find yourself in a situation that reactivates one or more of your PTSD symptoms because it’s like you are living in the past.
This can change with help.
Here are the PTSD symptoms that you likely live with if you suffered from childhood trauma:
Danger seems around every corner
You can feel a catastrophe is about to happen
Fear of your anger, fighting back, or speaking out
Panic about being trapped (claustrophobia)
Distrust in relationships and love
When something triggers you, these old (and ongoing) anxieties are heightened:
Danger seems around every corner
Childhood trauma means that you are in danger. This triggers your brain to believe danger can happen at any moment. You were helpless, and there was no one safe to turn to. Maybe your trauma was inflicted by someone who was supposed to be taking care of you. So, you’ve been on high alert, taking care of yourself by being very careful.
You know what it’s like not to be in control. You were powerless. Hypervigilance and watching out for danger are designed to protect yourself. No one else can really be trusted to keep you safe.
Especially from a catastrophe you’re sure is about to happen.
Feeling catastrophe is about to happen
Danger around the corner is one thing. Worse, you might live with the terror that a catastrophe is about to happen. Very often, this terror is stirred up if you have anything good. Someone could die. You could be killed. Everything will fall apart. Just when you begin to feel a little happy.
You’re afraid to make a wrong move. Worried about going to sleep. Panicked about what you eat. You’re terrified of separation from loved ones. This terror can often make you afraid of your anger.
Fear of anger, fighting back, & speaking out
Anger can be one of the scariest feelings. You’re afraid you’ll make someone go away or that they’ll retaliate. So, your anger might be well-hidden, even from yourself. This is one major effect of childhood trauma. Or if you get angry, it might come out in big frustrated explosions that make you scared or guilty. You try very hard to control your anger like you try to control everything else.
Maybe someone’s anger hurt or terrified you as a child. You couldn’t fight back when you were little. You were threatened or punished if you tried to speak out. So, now you don’t. You hold things back and are convinced no one will listen. Somewhere inside, you likely resent having to comply.
But you swallow how you feel. And your feelings are trapped inside you.
Panic about being trapped (Claustrophobia)
You feel trapped in many different situations. Can’t say “no” or leave when you want to. Maybe you are even claustrophobic. You can’t go in elevators or be in small spaces. Not an MRI or a small room or a crowded area if you feel you can’t get out. You avoid these situations at all costs.
Maybe you believe you must give people what they want and can’t express your own needs openly. This is another kind of trap. You don’t feel anyone wants to hear or provide for your needs.
Feeling trapped is a frequent effect of childhood trauma, and it is often the result of distrust.
Distrust of relationships & love
You can’t openly be yourself because you’re anxious around most people. You’re hypervigilant for anything that makes you think you aren’t liked, cared about, good enough, or as good as they are. You compare yourself to others constantly. Things can often seem like personal put-downs.
It’s not easy to trust anyone after trauma. Sometimes, you don’t think it’s worth trying to be close, but you’re lonely. You’re worried about being judged, rejected, or used. It’s a vicious cycle.
All of these after-effects of trauma cause anxiety, and you’re always in a state of either high or low-level anxiety. What can you do about it? You’re suffering and want to know about how to heal.
Getting to the roots of your fears
There aren’t easy answers to healing anxiety because the roots of anxiety are unconscious. You might know some things about your anxiety. Maybe you’re terrified of social events. Or meeting new people. Or of situations where you “might be judged” and you’re afraid you’ll “mess up.”
Maybe you’re scared of being unwanted or unlovable, so it’s hard to go on dates, open up to anyone new, smile at people, or not be anxious if someone doesn’t text back right away. Or maybe you can’t text or talk easily because you’re always afraid you’ll say “the wrong thing.”
As hard as you try to tell yourself these things probably aren’t true, and as often as your friends give you pep talks, you aren’t convinced. And your anxiety goes on and on.
So, here’s the thing about healing anxiety:
What you don’t know makes it hard to stop being anxious without getting professional help. Most often, if you suffer from anxiety that’s gone on for years, it is rooted in long-ago experiences. Childhood trauma. Early separation anxieties. Experiences that made you suspicious about love.
How to heal your anxiety
To heal your anxiety, you need someone who knows how to get to the roots of your early experiences and reconnect the specifics of what happened long ago to the situations that make you anxious now. That is truly the best answer. But you can’t do that on your own.
You need someone who knows how to create a safe place to bring those past situations and traumatic relationships into the open. Finally, to express the feelings you now carry within your anxiety. Hidden, unknown, blocked, or scary feelings create anxiety.
When anxiety is severe and paralyzing, it’s well worth finding a psychotherapist who specializes in anxiety and childhood trauma, one who knows how to get to the unconscious roots.
In my years of experience, a psychoanalytic (or psychodynamic) approach is most effective. This kind of therapy means a therapist who considers the impact of your childhood experiences.
Anxiety, generalized anxiety disorder, panic attacks, and obsessive worry must be traced back to the unconscious childhood source of your fears and the fantasies that lie behind them.
When the unconscious roots of your anxiety about never feeling good enough, humiliation, worries about being judged, insecurity in attachments, catastrophic expectations, and distrust in people and love are taken seriously, you won’t have to live with the anxiety that immobilizes you.
Your anxiety can be healed.
Read more from Sandra E Cohen, Ph.D.
Sandra E Cohen, Ph.D., Psychologist & Psychoanalyst
Dr. Sandra Cohen is a psychologist and psychoanalyst specializing in childhood trauma and writing about its aftereffects. Some of those consequences include feelings of unlovability, distrust of love, and problems in love relationships. For over 40 years, she’s worked with patients who suffered sexual and physical abuse, emotional abuse, and severe neglect in childhood. She has devoted her career to helping people heal. Dr. Cohen’s writing is dedicated to offering helpful information to a wider audience of those who still suffer.
