Written by: Alison Rothman, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Why is it so crucial to learn how to feel our feelings?
There is so much dialogue in the therapy and wellness world around feelings and the “appropriate” or “most effective” way to work with them. I absolutely do not discount anyone else’s work and experience, as they are uniquely theirs. I trust in their sharing and perspectives as aligned with who they are and what they have endured in their lives.
We are all imprinted in life by our interactions, events, neurosis, choices, relational junctures, traumas and dramas, and the directions of our energetic patterning. Those of us who choose to carve out a pathway of vocation in the therapeutic realm, carry with us all of those twists and turns, bumps in the road, and nervous system impact.
Unwinding those imprints with the intention of growth and educating ourselves, is a lifelong journey of magic and mystery. It is a journey with no end point and is a rich and deeply meaningful way of existing.
All of this to say that my topic here is vast and personal. There is absolutely not one right pathway through feelings, one direction to go in, or a road map of any sort on this journey. It is unique for every single one of us and must be honored as such.
What I can and do share is what I know to be true for me, and what I have offered clients for the past many years in working with their own experiences of being a fully feeling human. Diving into the places where we get blocked, and how learning how to feel the whole range of our human experience of being alive, without drowning in them, becoming consumed by them, and/or numbing ourselves to avoid them… is liberating, empowering, and life-altering.
My perspective lands from that of being a recovered addict, the experience of extreme life trauma, and a lifelong focus on the body and its workings on every level.
I believe in the power of the individual human to heal themselves. I know that it is possible with every ounce of my being. I believe that my “job” is to remind, guide, inspire, and support the digestion of the inevitable ups and downs of human experience in a way that is aligned, empowering, deeply embodied, and life-enhancing.
Learning how to feel our feelings, and teaching ourselves how to circulate these feelings through our bodies, hearts, and nervous systems is the greatest gift we can offer ourselves, and therefore those in our lives.
Why do we need to feel our feelings to heal them?
Allowing ourselves to be exactly where we are and how we are feeling, without trying to manipulate, alter, or bypass these varying emotional states, is a tremendous step along the path of embodied healing and authentic empowerment.
Now, this is quite different from drowning in and/or becoming consumed by whatever it is that we are feeling. The key in this journey is to learn how to let our emotions be there, allow ourselves to feel them, while simultaneously inviting the emotions to cycle through us.
To keep the energy moving and yield to the experience from a place of trust.
To cultivate the attitude of faith in oneself and one’s capacity to feel whatever needs to be felt and that we can get to the other side of this felt experience without drowning.
This is a journey of re-patterning and re-building our systems from the inside out. Most of us were not conditioned to know *how* to feel our feelings and, rather, we jumped into addictive ways of coping with our feelings. This could even include some very benign feelings that we did not feel *safe* to feel or welcomed to express which, therefore, became something to avoid. So, we made choices along the way to not feel our feelings out of fear or shame or pure ignorance at the experience of feeling...
Choosing to learn how to be a fully feeling human, to heal ourselves on an embodied and sustainable level, and to move through life from this place of integration and alignment, demands practice, experimentation, and a willingness to be uncomfortable in the void of the unknown.
There is no one “right” way of navigating our emotional states. This is a process of tuning deeply into ourselves and checking in, feeling into, and listening to whatever our bodies, our hearts, our spirits, and our souls are needing to feel, process, and digest our experiences.
In moments, it may be absolutely essential to have a good cry while wrapping ourselves up in a blanket on the couch. Or, perhaps we are pissed off and rather than allow it to consume our being, we go for a run or turn on a song and dance until we are sweaty. Or, we may need to soothe our weary hearts by singing a meaningful song at top volume to open up our throat chakra and release the tension. Or, giving our frazzled nervous systems comfort and ground by submerging in a hot bubble bath.
If we can give ourselves permission and remain open to learning how to feel everything that comes with being a human, especially during these extraordinary times, then we can engage with the world from a place of emotional integrity.
We can learn how to take care of our whole selves on the most fundamental level.
From there, we gift ourselves with the opportunity to live a life of truth. A life in which we are awake. A life that is rich with meaning and authentic connection, beginning from within. From this space of being, we can engage the world around us from that same resonance.
The potency in the ripple effect of choosing to learn how to feel our feelings and live from an upright and aligned place is that we simultaneously give others permission to do the same. We can create new pathways in the world around us beginning right from our own emotional capacity.
When we are comfortable in ourselves on this level, we empower others to do the same. We can lead by example and allow others to soak up the medicine and wisdom.
These times are certainly providing endless possibilities to feel every single emotional state…fluctuating moment-by-moment. It is a golden opportunity to learn how to be with it all and what that looks and feels like for you as an individual.
Feeling our feelings, no matter what they are, is a pivotal step along the pathway of sustainable and embodied healing. For many, this is foreign, for some this is a process of fine-tuning and opening up to new ways of approaching our healing. Wherever you are along the journey, gift yourselves with the intention of allowing whatever is bubbling to the surface to be there, without trying to change it.
When we learn how to feel our feelings, we can heal on the deepest of levels… sustainably, embodied, aligned, and in integrity with the truth of exactly who we are.
Are you struggling with knowing *how* to feel the magnitude and array of emotions swirling during these wild times? I would be honored to be of support.
Here is a link to schedule a complimentary 20-minute Clarity Call.
Please feel free to use the code, BRAINZLOVE, for 10% off any 1:1 sessions and coaching packages.
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Alison Rothman, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Alison Rothman MA CYT, is a Body-Centered Holistic Wellness Coach and Transformational Group Facilitator with 25+ years of study and experiences in somatic healing arts and therapy, yoga and meditation, authentic embodiment, and holistic healing. Through her extensive studies, practices, and experiences she provides clients and students with the ability to tap into their innate inner resource and release debilitating life patterns in order to access their truth, power, and reclaim their body, mind, heart, and soul connection.
Alison is passionate about supporting and empowering women to unwind their nervous systems, make peace with their bodies, and remember who they truly are.
She has survived several highly traumatizing life events including a house fire and a near death experience. Additionally, Alison has navigated divorce and single motherhood for over a decade, utilizing her practices in support of her own embodiment during times of stress and challenge.
She carries with her an embodied understanding of the wisdom and intelligence of the body and brings to her sessions, groups, and writing a deep intimacy with herself, her own process of life experiences, and a passion for supporting and inspiring others in utilizing the magic of everyday living as medicine for growth and healing.
Alison is an expert in the realm of trauma, eating disorder and addiction recovery, body image issues, and utilizing holistic wellness practices to attain sustainable, embodied, and empowered healing.
In addition to her one-on-one work she facilitates retreats, runs women’s groups (both virtual and in person), writes, speaks and is the host of the podcast "Embodied and Awake." She lives in beautiful Boulder, Colorado with her 13-year old son.
