Written by: Nina Urman, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
How to separate your authentic essence from your Ego and why it’s essential to do so as soon as possible.
Meet your Ego
Have you ever wondered "Why is something so easy for them but not for me?
Why can't I do the same? I’m better, smarter, prettier etc…”
Have you ever followed the path someone already gone through, instead of finding your own?
Have you evaluated your successes and failures through the prism of others, instead of comparing yourself to yourself only?
Have you ever found yourself running away from failures, hiding behind masks, forbidding yourself to feel pain? Trying to appear rather than to be?
Meet your Ego.
It’s the part of your consciousness that provokes you for such reflections as "Why am I the way I am?" and "How can I become better?” instead of finding the answer to the question “What am I when I’m real?”
The ego often speaks to you in different constructions, phrases, comparisons and metaphors.
And it could seem that it is your inner voice, the pure essence that we all aspire to. But it’s not.
It is the thing that prevents you from understanding who you are for real, opening up to others, pursuing the life you truly deserve…
Quite complicated, huh?
Let's take it one step at a time.
The Ego as an obstacle
In psychoanalysis, Ego stands for the part of the mind that mediates between the conscious and the unconscious, it’s responsible for a sense of personal identity and reality testing.
It is a protection mechanism that separates us and builds our “identity”.
According to Freud, it is oriented towards the perceptions in the real world.
Here is a list of some ways how the Ego can manifest itself:
Seeking for approval;
Seeing yourself above other people;
Trying to boost your self-confidence via undermining or neglecting others;
Asking for more without being grateful for what you have now;
Treating everything with suspicion;
Lacking trust;
Feeling the need to be in control all the time;
Comparing yourself to others;
etc.
A question arises: why is the Ego so “dangerous” if it seems just a simple protection mechanism?
There is an explanation.
All choices we make in our lives are dictated by the set of attitudes and patterns we have in our heads.
Our thoughts and belief systems literally create our lives.
We get different results and achievements as we act differently, in accordance with our thoughts and feelings that drive our actions.
But nobody has taught us how to control our minds. We didn’t even know we are in charge. Most of us think the thoughts we think about us are WHO WE ARE.
Being honest with yourself and about yourself is the most important starting point.
Without it, it is impossible to correct the vector, and it is impossible to get different results in life.
There is nothing wrong realizing that Ego directs certain choices in our lives.
But it is worth learning how to control it and take it out of play when building the life of your dreams.
If you are wondering how, then the following practices are definitely for you.
Embracing the Ego with Awareness
The first step to fully reconnect with the inner power without Ego being involved is AWARENESS.
If we are the creators of our own reality, then becoming conscious and aware of the reality we choose to create is essential.
We need to embrace the ego rather than push it away.
When it comes to our life, aligning our thoughts, feelings and actions is the absolute KEY to reinventing ourselves and to manifesting abundance.
Once you start shining the light of consciousness onto your life, you will notice how much you are actually in charge of your experience.
Life is not happening TO you. It is happening FOR you. All of it.
This is empowering and terrifying at once as you are the only one accountable for ALL OF IT: The good, the bad and the ugly.
I invite you today to just take a moment, to slow down, to take a DEEP breath and to LISTEN closely within.
Just becoming aware of WHO YOU ARE and your power within. This is it. 2 minutes of awareness. Time yourself if needed.
Journal for 5 minutes reflecting on the following statements, whatever comes up. Do not question. Just do it.
I’m a person who...
I’ve always been good at...
I’ve always struggled with...
I am...
I am not…
What are the ROLES I am playing in my life?
How do you feel now? What is arising inside after this self-reflection?
Don’t worry if you are confused or overwhelmed. The ego is fighting back.
Let it. Observe it with compassion.
Notice what it “tells” you.
This is not who you are. It is who you THINK you are. There is a big difference.
Your Essence is your deepest, original self
Here is what you need to know:
You perceive this human life through your unique lens, your special filter, your view, your choice of story around what happens on the outside.
You are always responsible for what you experience.
Nothing outside of you has power over you. And you can create whatever reality you choose to. It is truly: A World according to YOU.
Don’t let the Ego dictate your choices and behaviors.
Manifest your desires to serve the needs of your Highest Self, not just feed the Ego.
Be honest with yourself and stay brave.
And I’m always here to support you during this self-discovery journey.
This January I am opening the doors for a narrow circle of wonderful women to join my Reinvention Mastermind. We start on January 17th.
Together we will break the distorted perception of ourselves in order to finally build the life of their DREAMS. Are you joining us?
Schedule a call with me to save your spot: click here.
Nina Urman, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
A Certified Professional Life Coach with a master’s degree in Finance & International Relations from Sciences Po (Paris) & MGIMO (Moscow), Nina has spent more than a decade honing her craft as a coach & facilitator, working with top-tier executives, CEOs, leadership teams and board members.
Nina is a Russian-German former professional tennis player and is based in Paris where she lives with her husband and their 7 children.
She has worked across over 30 countries and with more than 2000 individuals, with one clear aim: to raise the level of awareness and holistically elevate their life experience.
Nina’s work includes facilitating Executive Retreats, Forums, Supercharges and Deep Dives that help to enhance personal development in community settings.
