Written by: Renate Prandl, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
What you believe is real is real. You might have heard this before. Fact is, we can use this to our disadvantage or to our advantage. The brain does not distinguish between what is real and what is perceived. If we strongly believe in something which is not even faintly true nor has it really happened, and if we continuously and repeatedly tell this story, it is exactly what the brain hears. Yes, the brain is listening ALL the time.
Let me tell you a story first and then, with your permission, I would love to introduce a few questions I ask my high-performance coaching clients, too. Why? Because this is effective, and anyone can do it.
Earlier this week a lady who is not a student of mine – let’s call her Mary - reached out to me. She was extremely upset, because she had gone out of her way to serve Mr.C and provide immense value (for free). This person, Mr.C had not acknowledged nor responded within a day. We don't know the reason, maybe he was busy or he just forgot. Mary saw the person being active on social media, but not responding to her, and this is when the whole thing -what you believe is real is real – started.
Mary started to think, to assume, that Mr.C should at least say thank you. He spends a lot of time acknowledging other people, celebrities, famous people, mentors (all her words), but not me.
Then that down-spiraling mindset continued: this is because I am not famous, I am nobody, I am not good enough, you get the gist, right. Maybe this sounds familiar and you have been there before. I for sure have BEFORE I knew some of the techniques I will share with you today.
Back to Mary. This lamenting and putting herself down, my friends, is what her brain heard. Supportive self-talk or draining and counterproductive? You know the answer.
The whole saga went on for quite a while and it reminded me of a story by one of my favorite psychologists, Paul WATZLAWICK. In his book THE SITUATION IS HOPELESS, BUT NOT SERIOUS: The Pursuit of Unhappiness . One of my favorite stories is the one with the hammer. It’s hilarious and definitely helpful IF you want to make your everyday life miserable.
We assume something, we think of it in detail, we focus and put our energy into a scenario. The brain hears this over and over and over again, the words, the emotion, feelings, and thinks it's real.
What you think is real is real.
Mary then started to vent her anger and frustration at Mr.C resulting in complete surprise at his end. He did not see it coming like the neighbor in the story with the hammer.
Why am I telling you this story? Your brain listens ALL the time and the more we go into detail – see, hear, feel - the more the brain thinks it's real.
if you want to use the power of the brain, the power of the central nervous system to your advantage, you might want to start focusing on the good aspects. Mary could have chosen to appreciate and acknowledge the fact that she had stepped out of her comfort zone, practiced, and refined a task she will need moving forward in her new career anyway.
What is one thing can learn here, one takeaway?
When you have a vison, a dream, goals, go there in detail. The more detailed it is
-what exactly should the outcome look /feel like
-how do you feel being there
-who else is there…just to give you a few ideas, the more the brain thinks it's happening and real. As the boss, the brain does everything in its power to make it happen – happiness or “unhappiness” included.
Let me share with you HOW to deal with a situation of spiraling down into the rabbit hole, using disempowering language, how to deal with declining self-esteem. Grab pen and paper, maybe you already have a special notepad for self-development work where you write down things which come to mind, accomplishments, achievements, your dreams, where you write down your wins, big or small. Having a gratitude journal is one of the “secret weapons” of highly successful achievers ☺
Are you ready to shift your mindset so that the brain has more options? Just be honest with your answers, no need to be modest or self-censoring. Are we clear? Say CLEAR if you are.
What you believe is real is real.
A) Name 3 people who think you are SMART.
Why do they think you are smart? (3 reasons or more)
B) Name 3 people who think you are handsome/GOOD-LOOKING.
Why do they think so (3 or more)?
C) Name 3 people who think you are FUN to be with?
Why do they think you are fun (3 reasons)?
D) Name 3 people who think you are a GOOD person.
Why do they think you are a good person (3+)?
E) Name 3 people who RESPECT you.
Why do they respect you (3 reasons or more)?
How do you feel? Have some of the answers brought a smile to your face? Good. It definitely got the attention of your subconscious mind, too. Now let’s proceed to one of my favorite “exercises” when working with my clients and students, shall we?
F) Write your own EULOGY.
When they hear this for the first time some people are kind of shocked. A eulogy is not an obituary. It's a speech given at the funeral, the graveside, or at some public forum where the deceased is acknowledged, praised, and his/her life is celebrated. The purpose of the eulogy is to let everyone in attendance know the lifetime accomplishments and successes of the deceased person. The focus is on things and character traits of which the departed was most proud of.
To make this easier find your three “power words” first. Three words describing your very best self, 3 words you would be REALLY proud of if people described you using them.
Now write your own eulogy, listing the 10 things you would want someone to say when he or she describes your lifetime.
[WRITE NOW]
Once you have completed your list, carry it with you every day. Review it frequently.
Read the items on your list out loud with conviction and satisfaction. Smile.
Feel good about the things you have accomplished. Well done.
Read it with pride and a sense of accomplishment. Give yourself a high-five. You matter.
Put all or some of the 10 things into your phone is a reminder popping up as an alarm during the day.
This, my high performers, is an easy, holistic, sustainable way of priming your brain to attract the things you want - the fun things, more energy and joy, more money, maybe better health, elevated self-esteem, improved relationships with others and YOURSELF.
What you believe is real is real.
Renate Prandl, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Renate Prandl is Asia's Premier Sustainable Life Mastery Strategist, Certified Feldenkrais® Expert, sports coach, mentor, and Certified High Performance(™) coach. With over 40 years of combined experience as a Professor in a business school and entrepreneur, Renate uses a variety of proven techniques and applications to help you reach your highest potential, get to the Next Level, and potentially live your Life by Design - in a holistic, doable and sustainable way. Her "Power of 3" systems help you turn obstacles into stepping stones and build Physical, Emotional, Financial Resilience. Renate is the CEO of Body & Brain, Founder of Body And Brain Mastery, International Bestselling Author of 3 books, and has lived on 3 continents. Her mission: Anything is possible.
