Written by: Thomas Goenczi, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
There is something truly palpable and ineffable about embarking on something for the first time. Stepping forward and embracing uncertainty, a sort of willful deployment into the oceans of the unknown. In essence, to go into direct combat with our fears. What often happens prior to the first session is an individual becomes aware of a certain area in life they are struggling with. This then causes an assessment of the appropriateness of counselling through rationalization, considerations of physical health, relationships, and intuition. Once the first session is booked there is a whirlwind of emotions that whips around, ranging from pure adrenaline-inducing excitement to deathly existential dread. Thoughts follow a similar flow, often fluctuating from confident self-affirming thoughts to doubt-riddled judgments and everything in between.
Picture yourself heading to your first session, your heart sporadically racing trading places with the distinct sensations in the depths of your gut. These waves of sensation are often spurred on either by excitement and/or nervousness and oftentimes become more and more frequent the closer you get to the office. Some people find themselves deliberating what they’re going to say, how they’re going to say it, and what the whole process is even going to be like. These are all common experiences prior to a session, and often times the anxiety reaches a head once we find ourselves seated in the waiting room. The waiting area, beyond being an area to ruminate yourself into an anxious state, can actually be a really great place for a client to gather themselves, and to reset. This can be done by taking in some subtle deep conscious breaths from the diaphragm and slowly exhaling a few times. It can also be a place to set an intention for your session.
You hear the footsteps approaching. The door opens and you greet your therapist for the first time. You find your seat and after going over confidentiality, and informed consent, it finally begins. The floor becomes yours. Now there is a great variance of reaction to this opportunity, some struggle to know where to start, and others have been waiting to get this off of their chest for a long time. However, it usually oscillates between. What is important is to try and be authentic to yourself, don’t overthink it, just be.
After about 50 minutes, your counsellor discreetly checks the time and announces the session has come to an end. After the first session is complete emotions and thoughts thunder within. Sometimes people feel a little raw after the first session, some relieved, some confused, and sometimes people get this little spark and high afterward. What’s significant here is identifying the feeling and coming to find the reason for it. Maybe you feel raw because you had to open up about a past trauma, maybe you feel relieved because you finally unburdened yourself about something you’ve kept to yourself for so long, or maybe you feel confused because you don’t know how to feel. It’s vital here to dispel the notion that these feelings and thoughts are solely limited to the first session. They’re not. Once fully committed to a long-term therapeutic process you eventually imbue the wide range of human experience.
Lastly, it is beneficial to reflect on your initial rapport with your counsellor. You must be able to see your therapist as someone whom you can trust, and who you believe can contain the space needed for you to overcome your struggle. Now, this may take a couple of sessions, but if you feel and know that there is warmth, compassion, and a sense of purpose in the room then this is typically a good indication that you are a good fit for one another. At times the client and counsellor are incongruent with one another. This is ok. Don’t let this discourage you from the work that you have set out to accomplish for yourself, obstacles arise in many forms, and you must not let them get the best of you. All you can do is continue the search and not let your first experience define you.
Thomas Goenczi, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Thomas Goenczi, is a veteran of the Royal Canadian Navy, serving for seven years. After leaving the military Thomas pursued his Master of Counselling (Psychology). He now is a clinical counsellor providing his service through his private practice – Well Then Therapy. Thomas focuses on helping his clients and readers uncovering their unconscious roots of their mental struggles and reinfusing there lives with meaning. Thomas has recently reconnected with the military community with the mission of fostering an acceptance towards mental health. He is currently contributor to the Naval Newspaper. Lastly, he has a keen interest in psychoanalytic work, working with one's will, and psychedelic-assisted psychotherapy.
