Written by: Camilla Fellas Arnold, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
We’ve all been there at some point. Things are not going well. We’re struggling, feeling frustrated, and it feels like we’ll never get to where we want to go in life. Outcomes the inner critic asking, ‘what’s wrong with me?’ Perhaps you’ve made a simple mistake, and someone has said accusingly, ‘what is wrong with you?’ We’ve been conditioned over time to look for these wrong parts of ourselves and lock them away because we assume they must be the reason for our mistakes. They must be the reason things aren’t working out as we want them to be.
But what if the things you thought were wrong with you were exactly what was right with you? That your unique way of doing something or looking at the world is something, you could use to your advantage instead of feeling like it’s a handicap to your success.
The truth is, up until a few months ago, I was in the ‘something is definitely wrong with me’ boat.
I was convinced that my inability to be successful was down to my inability to stick with something very long. I had spent years trying out different creative careers, starting up new business ventures, and abandoning them within years, sometimes only months, when success didn’t feel forthcoming. I felt like a ‘jack of all trades, master of none.’
It’s All In The Reframe
Then one day a few months ago when I was lamenting all the failed attempts, and when I was beginning, once again, to feel directionless and confused in my business, a dear friend said, in an offhand way, ‘what’s wrong with you, is usually what’s right with you.’
I didn’t understand it. How could that be possible? My friend was convinced it was true. So I started to explore what I’d really been doing when I’d originally thought I was being flighty, doubtful, and self-abandoning.
What I found was I had been exploring. I had been learning. Like a wanderer on their travels, I had read widely, experimented, both failed, and succeeded spectacularly in gathering a wealth of knowledge and experience.
Armed with this new perspective, suddenly, all the pieces of my life fit together in a new way. I saw that as I support and coach emerging writers and creative talent, I can bring my knowledge of aesthetics and elite branding to the table from my previous pursuits in graphic design to elevate the level of work they produce. I bring business intelligence to the arena due to my understanding of streamlining and templating that will support creatives in becoming so much more efficient, relaxed, and free-flowing creatively. I reframe sharing on social media into a way that lets them feel embodied and makes the content feel natural and organic rather than forced and formulaic.
By flipping what I thought was wrong with me, what I thought were weaknesses, and turning them into strengths, I found renewed passion and vigour for what I do. I’ve rewritten my entire business from the ground up and am excited to relaunch.
But most of all, I feel confident, capable, and empowered by what I do. I no longer feel apologetic, and I know what I do genuinely helps people. To put it simply, it’s been a life-changing reframe for my mindset, and here are my top tips for you to do the same.
How You Can Turn What’s Wrong With You Into What’s Right With You
Remember that it wouldn’t do us any good to all be the same. Variety is the spice of life, and your unique experiences, interests, knowledge, approach, and perspectives are what makes you YOU! Celebrate your uniqueness rather than wanting to blend in with the crowd – that’s boring!
Ask yourself how you can turn a weakness into your greatest strength. Have you gathered up some really interesting life experiences that you can use to inspire or teach? Does your unique approach to doing something make you more efficient or has unexpected outcomes? Perhaps instead of thinking your sensitivity makes you weak, reframe it to being an incredible empath that can build deep connections and rapport with people or that being in tune with your emotions allows you to release them quicker rather than bottling them up inside.
Get out of your head. Too often, we can’t see the wood for the trees, and it’s hard to be objective when it's personal. Talk to a trusted friend, colleague, or mentor about what you perceive as wrong or weak – what do they see instead? Sometimes the things we think of as being the worst parts of ourselves are what other people admire and wish they could do themselves.
Ditch the naysayers. It’s bad enough that we all walk around with our own worst inner critic, but you don’t need that negativity coming from other people either. If someone says something is wrong with you, walk away. Their criticism is more of a reflection on them than it is you, so free yourself from toxicity and find the people who love you as you are.
Be passionate about all the parts of you. If anyone has ever called one of your hobbies weird, but you adore it, and it lights you up, keep doing it. Love all the elements that make up the rare and wonderful you and share them with passion in the world. The more you radiate your truth, the more you fully align with the values that make you tick. You become a magnet for the people that will love you for exactly who you are, and those people won’t think anything is wrong with you either.
Camilla Fellas Arnold, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Camilla Fellas Arnold is the founder of a hybrid book publishing house, a writing coach, and a writer with British and Cypriot heritage. She is currently writing her own fictional series and a non-fiction book, The Meraki Life, on the concept of 'meraki,' a Greek word in which she teaches ways to live life with love, joy, and soul. A lifelong book lover with a passion for storytelling, she studied Design for Publishing, worked as a freelance book designer at a small press learning about the publishing industry, and honed her communication skills as a freelance writer and wedding photographer. It was a panic attack at a wedding that was the push she needed to return to the world of stories, setting up Tecassia as a hybrid publisher in late 2019, handling book production and distribution for visionary leaders, and coaching authors through the book writing process. Her vision is to provide a platform for authors to share their voices that they otherwise might not be able to access through traditional publishing. Co-publishing in a collaborative way, it is her mission to publish extraordinary books from incredible leaders that inspire and change lives.
