Written by: Britta Lübbing, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
“It is okay if you are getting slower. We are going up a freaking mountain.”
I am a Dreamer. I can spend hours and hours and hours imagining a version of myself in different kinds of circumstances. Sometimes, I am the funny one, sometimes the well-dressed one, sometimes the powerful one or a bold one, and so on. I love the feeling in my belly when I see myself in those scenarios. It feels exciting. It makes me feel alive. Dreaming is so easy.
Somehow I always knew I wanted to live a big life. Deep within me, it felt like I was supposed to. What does that even mean? Good question.
While trying to figure out that big question mark inside of me, connecting the dots, exploring the unknown step by step, I have realized it is fascinating how nothing makes sense, how life is messy and chaotic, how we think we are in control only to find out a moment later that we are not.
I assume that this is why so many of us give up. Carrying the complexity of life, trying to give all of it meaning, allowing ourselves to manifest our dreams is not easy.
One month ago, I thought I had it all figured out. Not that my journey so far had been straightforward, rather the opposite. Remember that my starting point was to live big. Somehow I had ended up studying business for reasons that made sense at that time, even though I would not claim that it was a choice by heart. Fashion had always been something I loved, so my new goal was to find my way into that magical world. I also discovered my passion for Leadership and Entrepreneurship, which I have talked about in other articles of mine. So there I was with three topics in my hands — being a Fashion Entrepreneur, this seemed to be it. But, as a 20-year-old talking about Fashion & Entrepreneurship, a very common belief that was shared with me was that I was too young with not enough understanding or insights and because I didn’t feel confident enough to prove people wrong, I decided to gain working experience as it was told to me.
Luckily, I figured that the fact that I couldn’t be an Entrepreneur right away would not stop me from learning how to be, think or act like one. Hence, whatever webinar, book, article, or person crossed my path that helped me learn how to build an (online) business, I soaked it up. This included Personal Development, Personal Growth, and any other topic that connected me to the world and lifestyle I was so fascinated by.
Long story short, as little as straightforward as the rest of what you will hear, I got a job in the fashion industry, which I would describe as my dream opportunity. „I will work a few years and then start my own business'', was what my two years younger self wrote down in her 5-10 year plan. Then the pandemic hit, and suddenly I had a lot of time to think and browse the internet. As a personal development addict, I saw opportunities all around, and one of them was a free webinar I stumbled upon marketing a 6-month program to become a Life Coach (you could also say that I was the victim of great Facebook Ads Placement, but it wouldn’t sound so great).
Since the holiday destination of the year 2020 was called staycation, I decided to invest my holiday budget as human capital; half a year (and a lot of hours of studying) later, I had a piece of paper in my hands that certified me as a Life Coach. I felt on top of the game, had I not only beaten my 5-year plan but also supposedly figured out what my purpose should be. Fashion was out, Coaching was in, and driving the highway already, it seemed appropriate to speed up even more and start my own Coaching business. To do that, I bought into a 3-month program of a Business Coach which taught me everything you need to know as a „New Age Coach.” I learned a lot, I tried new things which excited me and I was looking forward to launching my first Coaching program. That is one side of the story. The other side is that I felt more and more tired. Every spare minute, every spare penny, I spent on building my business. Instead of following my heart, one of my biggest principles in life, I started following my mind. “Do more,” “Don't give up.”
I neglected my health, my friends, and the present moment. The goal to have my own business had always been that I would be able to choose the lifestyle I wanted to live, define my personal freedom, but suddenly, I felt caught in hustle culture, stuck in work.
When I launched my program, I was done with the world and honestly happy that nobody signed up for my program. It felt like I had pushed and pushed and pushed towards something I wasn’t even sure I wanted. Not that I doubted my ability to coach, but from the beginning, I had questioned whether I wanted to work as a Coach at all (and kindly ignored that thought). I had never connected to the word Coach. Ask me if I want to be a writer, and I would say yes without a doubt – but Coach?
In my attempt to follow my dream of wanting to live big, I realized that by making an effort to get closer and closer towards that goal, I had somehow ended up “niching” it down to make it more “sellable.” I had made decisions based on short-term gains rather than by focusing on the bigger picture.
To get out of the rat wheel, I took some weeks off away from my ambitions to rest & reflect.
“It is okay if you are getting slower. We are going up a freaking mountain”, is what my Spinning instructor recently said while we were increasing the intensity (meaning it gets much harder to push the pedal), and I will never forget those words. Having a strong connection to nature and the alps where I grew up, I immediately built the connection to all the time I had spent in the mountains throughout my life. For me, our dreams are like mountains. Of course, you can decide to walk in the valleys where the view is shitty. It is going to be easy and safe because you can just follow the path a thousand people have defined for you. Your dreams equal mountains. When you start, you don’t know what to expect. You only have a vision of the top, but to get there, you need to climb “the freaking mountain.”
There are so many quotes about living your dream life and how it has to look like, we start thinking in Pinterest quotes and Instagram pictures. Because our life doesn’t equal that fake reality, we come up with 1000 reasons why it is not worth it even trying. The visualization of our dream(s) is so much more perfect than we believe we are that we will never allow ourselves to think we are capable of living them.
I am learning that – being a dreamer – I need to let go of the unrealistic expectations I have around how living my dreams is going to happen and learn to co-create with life. Life doesn’t make sense, and so living our dreams doesn’t make sense either. Conquering our dreams, our personal top, there is nothing perfect about that. It is not going to be as effortless as in our imagination. It will require us to slow down, to rest more, to go through the ups and downs.
However, thinking of the view…where would you rather choose walking?
The last months, my way of creation came from a place of lack. I had looked at what I didn’t have in my life and tried to find ways to add those things. The more I was focused on my future, the shittier my current circumstances, the more desperate I felt. Although I had already decided to climb my mountain and I had already gained height, I was only looking at the top and the path ahead – not the progress I had already made, the view I was already able to enjoy. By doing that, I had not only exhausted myself but also followed a path just for the sake of getting higher, only to realize later that there was a dead end because I had forgotten my heart somewhere 200 meters further down.
Once you start climbing your mountain, the mountain is dedicated to you. Just because you haven’t reached the top yet, doesn’t mean it is not yours.
My new way of approaching my journey is to look at the abundance, the possibilities, the amazing stuff that is already mine right now. Slowing down to discover all the beauty around me, moving up with a heart full of joy. Plus, since in my observation, most people only talk about their journey once they have reached their top because supposedly only by then we call people successful – nobody shares their way up, and that’s what I am here to change.
Nothing I have done, seen, or experienced has been according to my roadmap. But: opportunities are there, sometimes hidden, sometimes strong and clear in front of my eyes. So apart from not knowing whether I identify as a Coach or not, as an Entrepreneur or not, as a Writer or not, what my niche is or how to make money with what I love, what I do know is that everything that is, has been and will be – it is all going to be worth it.
As much as my mind wished that the top was already in sight (but who knows…maybe it is just around the next corner?), I feel powerful and strong in showing my honest and vulnerable self to you with the intention to inspire you to make your dreams come true despite your circumstances.
Never forget that too many of us don’t live our dreams because we stick to the idealization in our imagination, while the reality is that life is never going to reach those standards. I want you to get out there and start looking for your mountain. Start climbing your mountain. Start right now and not the day after tomorrow. Start small. Allow yourself to grow and get stronger through the process. Allow chaos, confusion, and a pounding heart to be part of the deal. Your mountain is waiting for you!
Practical Implications
If you have never climbed a mountain in your life, you should – to fully understand my story (by the way, it doesn’t count to take the cable car to the top – there is no shortcut in life either).
Ask yourself: What step can I take right now? (And don’t fall into the trap of believing that you are not the most perfect version of yourself yet because your mountain doesn’t require you to be perfect. It simply requires you to start.)
Co-creating with life will maximize your level of happiness and empower you on your journey. It is good to have a roadmap but never forget that the real deal is the mountain!
Britta Lübbing, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Britta is the founder of Bttrflymovment, a platform and community dedicated to supporting and connecting people in their 20‘s who are looking for a way to unlock their potential fully. After studying Business and getting a taste of a 9-5 corporate career, she quickly realized that this lifestyle would never allow her to “swim in the ocean” but rather lead to jumping from one aquarium into the next bigger one.
Furthermore, she had friends and fellows around her with great ideas, ambition, and talent seemingly stuck, not knowing how to make their dreams come true. Britta’s passion for Self Development, true connection, and a fulfilled life eventually led to the vision of a safe space that would allow young people to transform from a caterpillar into a butterfly and also allow them to connect to like-minded people with shared expectations for life. Bttrflymovement was born.
Britta loves to write, share and inspire through her journey according to the motto: Be the change you want to see in this world!
