Written by Natalya Wilson, Life and Relationship Coach
Natalya Wilson, founder of New Alignment, is a compassionate Journey Guide and certified Life and Relationship Coach. Drawing from personal resilience and professional expertise, she helps individuals and couples navigate challenges, embrace growth, and realign their lives with purpose and clarity.
Imagine being measured not by your kindness, loyalty, or emotional depth but solely by the size of your wallet. This is the reality for many men today, who are expected to be providers first and people second. It’s time to change the narrative. In today's world, many men feel reduced to nothing more than an ATM, valued primarily for their financial contributions rather than as full, emotional beings. While women have long fought for equality and the right to be seen beyond traditional roles, it’s time to acknowledge that men, too, are more than the labels placed upon them. They are not just providers; they are partners, humans with emotions, and individuals who also need love, support, and understanding.
The weight of being seen as just a provider
The idea that a man’s worth is measured by his financial ability is deeply ingrained in many cultures. From an early age, boys are taught that success means being able to provide for their families and that their primary role in a relationship is to be the breadwinner. While there is nothing wrong with providing, the problem arises when men are valued only for their ability to do so.
Imagine constantly feeling like your worth in a relationship is tied solely to what you can give financially. Many men experience this daily, being expected to foot the bill, pay for every outing, and financially rescue their partners, even in situations where shared responsibility would make more sense. Over time, this dynamic creates emotional exhaustion and disconnection, leaving men feeling unseen, unheard, and downright used.
Society has also allowed men to believe that they should suppress their emotions. This emotional suppression shuts men down and prevents them from acknowledging how they truly feel. The phrase "be a man" reinforces the idea that masculinity equates to emotional detachment. But true strength lies in self-awareness and emotional expression.
Who has their entire life fully figured out? Even older generations, despite their wisdom, may not have all the answers. Some men rise to the top of their fields, while others are just getting by or struggling. At what point does society acknowledge that men also need emotional support?
They experience instability, job loss, disappointment, heartache, and grief, just like women. Why are they expected to silently endure these struggles while women are encouraged to seek support?
Men need emotional support too
At some point, we’ve all heard the phrase "boys don’t cry." From a young age, men are conditioned to hide their emotions and put on a brave face. But if we continue to teach boys that they should suppress their feelings and focus only on financial stability, are we not turning them into emotional robots? The reality is that men are just as emotional as women. They may want to voice their feelings, but societal norms often discourage them from doing so.
While women have made incredible strides in advocating for emotional well-being and self-care, men are often left behind in these conversations. The truth is, men struggle emotionally just as much as women do. They deal with anxiety, depression, self-doubt, and emotional fatigue, yet society rarely provides them with the space to express these feelings without judgment. We expect men to be emotionally in tune, but do we really allow them to be?
When a man opens up about his struggles or personal trauma, he risks being labeled as weak or unmanly. But real strength lies in vulnerability, the courage to express feelings, seek help, and expect reciprocity in emotional support. Men deserve relationships where they are heard, understood, and valued for who they are, not just for what they can provide.
True and genuine men still exist
Many women expect men to be financially stable before pursuing a relationship. This is not to say that ambition isn’t important, but what happens when a man faces financial difficulties? Life is unpredictable, and everyone faces hardships. Would a woman still stand by a man if he were struggling financially, or is his worth solely tied to his bank account?
Despite the common narrative that "good men are hard to find," the reality is that there are many true and genuine men out there who want real, loving, and supportive partnerships. These men want to be present, to love deeply, and to create meaningful connections. However, they often find themselves discouraged when they feel like their worth is only acknowledged through financial means.
Many men desire a partner who sees them as an equal, who values their efforts beyond monetary contributions, and who is willing to build together. They appreciate women who recognize their need for love, encouragement, and emotional security, just as women seek the same. Relationships should be partnerships, where both individuals uplift and support each other rather than one person carrying all the weight.
How women can help shift the narrative
As a woman, can you genuinely say that you value a man beyond his ability to pay the bills? Do you appreciate him as a partner rather than just a financial contributor? A strong relationship should be based on mutual support, where both partners encourage personal growth and emotional well-being.
For women who truly desire to connect with men on a deeper level, it’s important to break away from the expectation that a man’s worth is tied to his wallet. Here’s how we can shift the narrative:
Acknowledge his efforts beyond money: Celebrate the small things he does for you, whether it's emotional support, fixing something around the house, or simply being there when you need him.
Offer emotional support: Ask him how he’s feeling. Be a safe space for him to express his thoughts and struggles without fear of being judged or dismissed.
Encourage open communication: Create an environment where he feels comfortable sharing his emotions. Let him know that his feelings are valid and that he doesn’t have to suffer in silence.
Practice reciprocity in giving: Relationships thrive on balance. If he takes care of you, find ways to take care of him too, emotionally, mentally, and in the little gestures that show appreciation.
Respect his boundaries and needs: Just as women seek respect and acknowledgment, men need the same. Respect his need for space, his aspirations, and his individuality beyond what he can provide financially.
Building stronger, more meaningful relationships
Just as much as women want to be seen, heard, and understood by men, it is time for women to acknowledge men as human beings. Seeing them for their true selves rather than expecting them to always have everything figured out is essential. Women are allowed to break down and cry about their struggles; why are men not afforded the same space?
This is not to say that there aren’t women who stand by their men during tough times. But for how long? Why are women socially permitted to depend on men financially while men are discouraged from expecting the same support in return?
A strong and fulfilling relationship is built on love, trust, and mutual support, not just financial contributions. Men are more than ATMs; they are humans with dreams, emotions, and the need to be loved and cared for just as much as anyone else. By seeing men beyond their financial roles and valuing them as whole individuals, we can create stronger, healthier relationships that benefit both partners.
It’s time to move beyond outdated expectations and recognize that love isn’t measured in dollar signs but in the depth of connection, understanding, and support we provide to one another.
Let’s redefine what it means to be a true partner and celebrate the men who give their hearts, minds, and souls not just their wallets.
If you're a man who wants to be heard, or you'd like to book a couples session to work on your relationship, feel free to contact me using this link. I'd love to hear from you.
Natalya Wilson, Life and Relationship Coach
Natalya Wilson, founder of New Alignment, is a Journey Guide specializing in life and relationship coaching. Drawing from her counseling background, coaching expertise, and transformative life experiences, she inspires clients to embrace their authentic selves and achieve meaningful alignment. To date, her services have impacted over 100 clients. Based in the serene surroundings of Mandeville, Jamaica, Natalya combines compassion and expertise to help individuals and couples overcome challenges and foster growth. She creates safe, transformative spaces for healing and personal development and invites potential clients to follow her for insights on navigating relationships, personal growth, and finding clarity in chaos.
