Written by: Kawtar El Alaoui, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
A few years ago, as I was exploring many healing modalities, I came across the divine feminine, and divine masculine work. I remember feeling intrigued and confused at the same time. I was wondering what is this idea of divine feminine or divine masculine? I checked in with my intuition and jumped into what seemed like a very foreign exploration.
Here are the top 3 lessons I learned.
The feminine and masculine, while they sound like they refer to gender, refer to characteristics we all carry within ourselves, yet we are generally socialized to overuse some of them based on our gender and culture.
Both the masculine and feminine have a wounded and healed version. This means working with balancing their energies within is in no way about blaming and shaming one energy over the other. Is it about embracing both and calibrating them in a way that supports your well-being, and inner balance? Yes, this work will challenge you to do away with the stereotypes rather than enforce them. And this brings me to the third lesson.
If we limit ourselves to the names and see them literally rather than figuratively, we risk missing out on the benefits of this work.
What are the characteristics of masculine-feminine?
The feminine is associated with flow, intuition, collaboration, and emotions, while the masculine is generally associated with focus, linearity, force, logic, and thinking. And naturally, they each have a shadow side.
What is their shadow side?
A wounded feminine will generally result in too many emotions, little to no action, the neediness of others, powerlessness, and manipulation.
A wounded masculine will generally result in excessive aggression, domination, control, and ungrounded action, with lots of effort and force, yet incomplete solutions.
Do you recognize these characteristics within yourself? Do you see how they play out in your relationships, the way you uphold your boundaries, speak your truth, and manage emotions?
Though these characteristics may seem personal, they transpire in every leadership decision and action.
Gender roles and our core construct of gender are melting away, yet we carry the heavy baggage of socialization that has created a rift between our inner masculine and feminine. Healing this inner schism leads us to a deeper sense of self-acceptance, and a reclaiming of our wholeness as creative and resourceful beings, beyond the labels imposed on us. As leaders, we increasingly recognize the value being flexible and multidimensional over our rigid patterns.
Here are a few steps to becoming an effective Gender Balanced Leader:
The first step in realizing this potential is to accept the fact that femininity and masculinity are not opposites but two interdependent sets of characteristics that need to be developed and coexist in harmony.
The next step is to recognize which side is less developed and less realized. For example, a lack of masculine energy generates too much compliance, hesitance, and restraint, while a lack of feminine energy produces too much authority, control, and self-centeredness.
Finally, once both sides are developed, it’s important to practice flexibility. Awareness of our weaknesses and strengths converts clarity into personal growth directions and strategies, and a masculine-feminine framework can support leaders in becoming more agile, holistic, and effective in their leadership.
Is it time to explore and heal your inner feminine-masculine schism? Join me and my dear friend and co-facilitator, Manish Srivastava as we lead you in this exploration this coming Saturday, July, 16th at 9 AM ET, 6:30 PM IST. Manish and I have had deep and challenging conversations on this topic over the years and we look forward to holding the space for deeper exploration with you. Register here.
This is a gifted session as part of the Truth & Reconciliation Work 2022.
Kawtar El Alaoui, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Kawtar El Alaoui. LL. B, PCC is a thought leader, global conscious leadership coach, facilitator, and mentor. Her work redefines leadership from the inside out and enables leaders and teams to reach their highest potential. Kawtar's conscious leadership model weaves self-awareness, conscious communication, and collaboration, conflict transformation, social equity, trauma-informed relating, and values-driven decision making.
She is the Founder and CEO of Conscious Togetherness, Inc.
Kawtar is Faculty and Mentor with Leadership That Works India, Facilitator with the Business Plan for Peace in the UK, and Leadership Advisor with She Did It! Ell a osé! In Canada.
