Written by: Andrée Funnell, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
How fine life would be if we all felt like a million dollars 24 hours a day, 7 days a week! Imagine waking up every morning, feeling full of self-confidence, and having the energy to jump out of bed and meet the day with loads of enthusiasm, knowing that you will get through the day without worries of any kind. The sun will shine all day, and you feel vibrant, motivated, and alive.
Not if you are a person imprisoned by low self-confidence. Low self-confidence is a very nasty characteristic to have inside us. It makes us feel weak, lose faith in our actions and dreams, or can even stop us from going forward in our lives with relationships. It allows so many ugly negative thoughts to take hold of our minds. Some will even try to escape this gripping emotion through the comfort they feel in their eating patterns. Some begin to trust the emotion that creates mistrust to derail their thinking, only setting them up for a history of jealous explosions.
Imprisoned by Low Self Esteem
Do you recognize yourself in any of the statements below?
Acting selfishly, constantly thinking that every action made is directed at us in some negative way.
Feeling like we are at the butt end of the joke when we see people laughing and happen to be looking our way.
Being compared with others.
I can’t ever do anything right.
Seeing everything as negative in every word that is said about us.
We want to share our pain and loneliness so that everyone around us can feel equally sad.
Becoming a habitual rider on the roller coaster of self-pity.
Not allowing yourself to have fun so as not to appear selfish
Allowing your low confidence to stand in the way of having positive outcomes
Wanting to be the only person in the world with any good qualities.
Wanting to be loved and desired in our relationships
Your negative trap
Your negative trap is working well, isn`t it? The trap of low self-confidence is what will trigger all the lows in your emotions, such as low self-esteem, low energy levels, low sexual desires, low positive thinking, and low care in personal hygiene, low desires in life period.
Imagine watching a movie, and in this movie, there is a person trying to get through life struggling with all the things that I have just described to you.
If you could be the heroine in the film, what action might you take?
Perhaps you would be yelling at them to stop behaving in that way or finding ways you could help them?
What if it wasn’t a movie but was a mirror image of your own life? All you have to do is step outside of yourself, and your ability to fix all of those statements identified above is so simple.
We always think that we look funny in pictures, but when we look at other people in pictures, we do not criticize them or pick them apart. In the real world, neither does anyone do that to our picture. We are our worst enemy when we allow low self-confidence to take priority in our minds.
How can you fight the war against yourself?
Creating positive thinking habits is a great way of clearing out the negative stuff that controls you and how you live your life.
Positive habits and affirmations don’t happen overnight. They take practice, patience, and time to defeat the negative limiting beliefs that have formed part of our life for years.
Limiting Beliefs – Your Inner Critic
As I have already said, positive change and habits do not happen overnight. Below are a number of common statements that you may make with examples of what they may sound like if you were to verbalize those.
Statements & Examples of Effect:
I do/don't We define ourselves by what we do or don’t do. Statements such as ‘I don’t deserve this...’
I can’t We often have self-images of what we perceive we can and cannot do.
I must / mustn’t We are often bound by rules, norms, and core values that constrain us by what we do.
I should / shouldn’t Who says you should or shouldn’t – it’s usually you as you are bound by your own rules, norms, and core values.
I am/am not Using this statement, we often define ourselves as one particular thing, which may lead to us believing we are not good at other things. ‘I am’ is often linked to a generalization statement, i.e., no good/that everything you do is no good…
Create new habits, affirmations, and neuro pathways in your brain
To move forward, you need to turn your negative statements into positive ones. These are called Empowering Beliefs (New Habits).
So let go of the negative feelings leading to low self-confidence and self-esteem. How? Well, turn your negative limiting beliefs into positive statements, as the following personal example shows.
Limiting belief: ‘I am not good enough.’
Positive belief: 'I am unique, I am as good as the next person, and I can do anything I put my mind to and achieve great results.’
I am saying that the more we feel that we are just as special as anyone else in the world, the more our self-confidence increases.
Putting this all into context
If this is your last day on earth, do you want to spend it feeling worthless, undervalued, not listened to, etc.?
What may seem so devastating in that second really is only because you allow yourself to feel that way. Changing your track is a very important thing. Don’t even think about it 'JUST DO IT.'
Repeating your positive patterns of behavior and your affirmations will change how you think, feel and act. Eventually, your mind will do that on its own.
Your self-respect will guide you and give you strength. The higher you build your self-confidence, the stronger all of you become. Then you will be able to defeat all of the negative emotions that fight to control your thinking.
Do this for you. It's no different than quitting smoking, exercising, taking care of yourself. All of these changes can and should only be done with your best interest as your goal. No one else really cares how you live your life. Feeling and behaving confidently will attract happiness, success, and fulfillment in your life. Achieving this is totally up to you.
Kick your low self-confidence into touch, give yourself a good talking to or find yourself a confidence or life coach to help you achieve these life-changing effects.
If you really want something, you can and will get it.
For the opportunity to have a 15 min coffee chat to find out how I can help you get back your MOJO and self-confidence to face the world confidently and achieve the success you desire. Call me on 07702 818665 or fill in your contact details on my website.
Andrée Funnell, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Andrée is a multi-award-winning Coach, Learning & Development Consultant, best-selling author, and speaker. She is the founder and driving force behind the success of Aspiring Future Competence (AFC). Since its inception in 2002, AFC has helped clients across a wide range of business sectors to get visible, get heard, and get ahead by applying inspirational ways to bring about positive change and empowerment. She has over 20 years of HR & training experience working in corporate organizations and a further 18 years delivering development solutions that make a difference to people’s careers and lives. She is a qualified coach, professional trainer, and NLP Practitioner. She discovered that Authenticity is the key to happiness, fulfillment, and success and is keen to get the message out there to others. ‘Behind the Mask’ is Andrée’s literary debut about ‘Authenticity.’ It’s an essential interactive step-by-step guide to turning your life around and achieving the kind of life you deserve by living authentically.
