Written by Chiral Yadava, Life Transformation Coach
Chiral is an accomplished life transformation coach, author of the inspirational book 'Chiral: A Soldier' released in 2022, an award-winning storyteller, and an unshakeable optimist. She is committed to unlocking people’s fullest potential and helping them discover the keys to lasting happiness and fulfillment.
Are you afraid of making mistakes? I was. I was a perfectionist. Not only was I afraid of making mistakes, but I literally hated making them. To me, making mistakes was bad and should not be done. I felt like the world would come crashing down if I made mistakes. Have you spent some time with yourself to think about why you don’t like making mistakes? Or have you told yourself, "This is how I am, that’s it," and not considered what it costs you?
How much does it cost not to make mistakes?
Any guesses? Much more than we can ever imagine.
It leads to self-doubt,
Lack of confidence,
A constant fear of things going wrong,
Stress,
Missed promotion opportunities,
Missed job opportunities,
Stunted growth,
A fear-based mindset, and negatively affects creativity and innovation, among so much more.
Why are we afraid of making mistakes?
There could be various reasons why we are afraid of making mistakes. These reasons can stem from our childhood, upbringing, the environment we were raised in, education, society, desire for perfectionism, judgment from others, and self-esteem issues. Mistakes can impact one's self-esteem and self-worth. People who tie their self-worth to their success may avoid taking risks where they might make mistakes. Fear of failure and our relationship with making mistakes can also play a significant role.
The fear of making mistakes has been with us for so long that it has become a part of us. The good news is that we can definitely overcome this fear. However, it will take a lot of hard work, effort, and perseverance. But if you keep your eyes on what you want to achieve, this journey will not seem difficult.
What is fail forward?
"Failing forward" is a concept that emphasizes learning and growing from failures rather than being discouraged by them. It involves using mistakes and setbacks as opportunities for improvement and progress.
When we learn to fail forward, we start exploring opportunities in unknown territories, trying new things, and discovering endless possibilities at work and personally. We understand that even if something goes wrong, we can fix it, learn from it, and move ahead.
We won’t fall and break, thinking, "I am not good enough" or "What have I done?" Instead, we will tell ourselves, "I gave my best, and if things still went wrong, maybe I need to do things differently. Let me seek help and fix the problem." This skill develops over time and eventually becomes a part of us.
Have you heard of anyone, anyone at all, who has succeeded without making mistakes?
I haven’t.
None of us, for sure, likes making mistakes, but sometimes, despite our best efforts, things go wrong, and mistakes are made. A growth mindset will ask, "What did I learn from my mistake?" If you look carefully, you will realize that you have definitely moved forward from where you were. Maybe you’re not where you ultimately wanted to be, but you have made progress.
Mistakes are building blocks; they teach us so much. We can take some time to feel bad that we put in effort, didn’t go as planned, and failed. Fair enough, that’s human instinct. But then we should get up, see what we have learned from that, move on, and ensure we don’t repeat the same mistake.
5 strategies to turn mistakes into milestones
First, acknowledge and accept mistakes
Tell yourself it is okay to make mistakes but it is not okay not to learn from them. Accepting your mistakes without self-judgment is crucial. Understand that everyone makes mistakes and that they are part of the growth process. A milestone is about moving forward and making progress. Even if you didn’t accomplish your task on the first attempt, you have still moved forward because you’ve learned something valuable. The next time you try, you will know what not to do.
Second, maintain a positive mindset
Move from "Oh no, what have I done?" to "It’s okay, at least I tried, which is better than sitting on the fence and not doing anything."
I have lost count of how many opportunities in my career and personal life I have missed because I did not allow myself to make mistakes. I kept sitting on the fence, debating and debating until I was sure my actions would not result in mistakes. How could I make a mistake? No, it’s not my thing. I will think and overthink, and by then, someone else will grab the opportunity.
Not making mistakes is like putting yourself in a safety box and telling yourself that you are safe from making mistakes. But the world of opportunities you can explore will not be safe for you and will be taken by people who are okay with making mistakes and learning from them.
Cultivate a positive and growth mindset that views mistakes as opportunities rather than setbacks. Stay positive and resilient, focusing on what you can learn and how you can improve. A positive mindset helps you stay motivated and persistent, turning every mistake into a valuable milestone.
Third, start today, start now
Experience the liberating feeling you get by not holding yourself back due to the fear of making mistakes. Say loudly, "Oops, it was my mistake. I am sorry."
I am okay with saying sorry to my 5-year-old daughter. I over-promised her on what I would do with her over the weekend. "Mom, you promised." I am sorry, Mama is sorry. My mistake. I reflected and ensured that next time, I plan properly and do what I promised.
Keep your ego aside and say sorry, learn, and move on. Life is too short; there is so much to see and so much to experience. Start now!
Fourth, surround yourself with supportive individuals who encourage and inspire you
If you have lived with the fear of making mistakes for years, it will not change overnight. It would help if you were surrounded by supportive individuals who will constantly remind you that it is okay to make mistakes, but it is not okay to avoid trying new things and exploring opportunities. These people will help you maintain a positive mindset and push you to step out of your comfort zone. They will celebrate your successes and support you through your failures, reinforcing the belief that mistakes are just stepping stones on the path to growth. Remember, the company you keep can significantly impact your mindset and progress, so choose to be with those who lift you and propel you forward.
Fifth, celebrate your wins, big or small
Don’t wait to celebrate your wins, whether they are big or small. It doesn’t matter how big the celebration is. It could be as simple as having a chocolate, a cup of coffee in your favorite restaurant, or anything that you love to do.
By celebrating, we are telling ourselves how proud we are to break through the barrier of the fear of making mistakes that we had captured ourselves in. It wasn’t easy, but we did it. We have a world of opportunities waiting for us to explore. It’s time to make our big dreams a reality. Let’s go!
And always remember, we just have one life; let’s live it to the fullest and become who we want to be, the happiest and most fulfilled version of ourselves.
Read more from Chiral Yadava
Chiral Yadava, Life Transformation Coach
Chiral, an accomplished Life Transformation Coach, embarked on her coaching journey long before the term existed in her dictionary. With roots in an Indian Army family and training in the National Cadet Corps, she strongly believes that destiny is in our hands and that we can shape it as we wish. With 15 years of HR expertise in global firms, having transformed and touched numerous lives over the years, and her inspirational autobiography "Chiral: A Soldier" released in 2022, she's on a passionate quest to empower individuals to seize life's boundless opportunities, for we only have one shot at making it count.
