Charon Normand Widmer LMSW is a licensed psychotherapist, somatic sex therapist and trauma specialist. She specializes in working with individuals and couples seeking support navigating erotic, gender and sexual identity challenges; queer and alternative relationships, and trauma, utilizing a strengths-based, psychodynamic, compassion-based approach. Many seek therapy to feel better; working with Charon entails learning how to get better at feeling.
A “nervous breakdown” isn’t a formal diagnosis; it’s a way to describe a period when life’s challenges and pressures become so overwhelming that we can no longer function normally. At its core, the experience isn’t about a single emotion but rather about how our thoughts shape our responses to what’s happening around us. Simply put, stress isn’t an emotion but results from our interpretations of events. When we view situations as dangerous or unmanageable, our body activates its natural “fight or flight” system, preparing us for action even when there’s no real threat.
How our thoughts fuel the stress response
Every day, our brains continuously evaluate our experiences. These evaluations, or thoughts, determine whether an event is safe or perilous. When you think of an upcoming work deadline, a challenging conversation, or even a minor inconvenience as insurmountable, your mind sends a signal that danger is near. This signal triggers a cascade of physiological reactions, releasing stress hormones like cortisol. Cortisol, while useful in small, short bursts, can be harmful if it builds up over time.
Imagine your body as a vehicle. In moments of danger, pressing the accelerator (the fight or flight response) gives you the power to act quickly. But if you keep accelerating without giving the car time to slow down, the engine will eventually overheat. For many of us, the problem is that we spend most of our time in this “accelerated” mode. The fight or flight response becomes our default setting, while the rest and digest system gets very little chance to work. This imbalance means that stress hormones accumulate, setting the stage for burnout and, in extreme cases, a nervous breakdown.
The two modes of our nervous system
Our bodies rely on two complementary systems: the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems. The sympathetic system kicks in when your thoughts interpret a situation as stressful. It readies your body by increasing your heart rate, tightening your muscles, and heightening your senses everything you need to confront a threat. However, most modern-day challenges rarely require such a rapid response, yet our bodies react as if facing immediate danger.
On the other hand, the parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for calming us down. It reduces heart rate, relaxes muscles, and facilitates the breakdown and clearance of stress hormones. After a period of activation, our bodies should spend enough time in this calm state to counteract the buildup of stress chemicals. Unfortunately, many of us do not allow for this recovery period. With our hectic schedules and constant connectivity, the fight or flight system remains active far more often than the relaxation response, leading to a continual accumulation of stress hormones.
What happens in the brain during overwhelming stress
When your mind repeatedly interprets situations as threatening, several key changes occur in your brain:
Excess cortisol production: When your brain sends a “danger” signal, cortisol floods your system. Over time, high cortisol levels can harm parts of your brain, especially the hippocampus, which plays a crucial role in memory and emotional regulation.
An overactive amygdala: This area of the brain is an alarm system for fear and anxiety. Constant activation makes it overly sensitive, meaning even minor stressors can trigger intense emotional responses.
Diminished prefrontal cortex function: This area is responsible for rational thinking, decision-making, and impulse control. Chronic stress can impair its function, making it difficult to think clearly or regulate your emotions effectively.
Disrupted neurotransmitter balance: Chemicals like serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine are essential for maintaining mood and energy. Prolonged stress can throw these systems out of balance, contributing to feelings of depression, anxiety, and emotional numbness.
These neurobiological changes manifest as cognitive difficulties (trouble concentrating or remembering), emotional challenges (feelings of overwhelm, anxiety, or depression), and physical symptoms (headaches, muscle tension, digestive issues, and sleep disturbances). In essence, when your brain is constantly alert, it becomes difficult to maintain overall balance and well-being.
The somatic approach: Reconnecting body and mind
One practical way to combat ongoing stress is to engage in somatic practices that help shift your body from a constant high-alert state to a more balanced, relaxed one. A particularly effective technique is progressive muscle relaxation (PMR) combined with grounding exercises. This method not only eases physical tension but also helps reset your mind.
Here’s how to practice this technique:
Prepare a calm space: Find a quiet, comfortable spot to sit or lie undisturbed.
Begin with deep breathing: Start by taking slow, deep breaths. Inhale deeply through your nose, hold briefly, and exhale slowly through your mouth. Breathing in this manner helps signal your body to avoid the fight or flight response.
Progressive muscle relaxation: Begin at your feet. Tense the muscles gently for about five seconds, then release the tension slowly. Gradually work your way up through your calves, thighs, abdomen, arms, hands, neck, and face. As you release each muscle group, focus on the sensation of relaxation.
Grounding your senses: After relaxing your muscles, use a grounding exercise to reconnect with the present moment. Take a moment to identify a few things you can see, feel, hear, smell, and even taste. This exercise helps anchor your awareness in the here and now, reducing the overwhelming effects of stress.
Regularly practicing this technique allows your body to shift from a state of over-activation to one of calm, allowing it to process and break down accumulated stress hormones.
Changing our perspective to manage stress
Understanding that stress stems from our thoughts, not the events themselves, is empowering. If you can change the way you interpret daily challenges, you can fundamentally alter your stress response. Techniques like mindfulness meditation and cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) can be beneficial in reshaping your thought patterns. By learning to view stressful situations as manageable rather than overwhelming, you reduce the frequency and intensity of the fight or flight response.
This cognitive shift, paired with regular somatic practices, can help break the cycle of continuous stress. Instead of constantly operating in a state of high alert, you learn to allow recovery periods where your body can safely clear out stress hormones and restore balance.
The broader impact of chronic stress and nervous breakdown
Many unknowingly spend more time in the sympathetic state, the fight or flight mode, than in the calming parasympathetic state. This constant activation means that stress hormones are continuously building up in our system. Over time, this imbalance can contribute to a host of health issues, from chronic anxiety and depression to cardiovascular problems and digestive disorders. In extreme cases, when the body’s coping mechanisms are overwhelmed by persistent stress, it can lead to what people refer to as a nervous breakdown.
Returning to our car analogy, imagine if you kept driving a car without ever taking the time to let the engine cool down. Eventually, the engine would overheat and break down. If your body doesn't have enough time to rest and recuperate, the continuous buildup of stress hormones can overload your system, leading to both mental and physical health breakdowns.
A path forward to a balanced life
It is essential to create opportunities for recovery, which can involve scheduling regular breaks during the day, practicing somatic techniques like PMR, or incorporating mindfulness practices into your routine. These activities help activate the parasympathetic system, providing the necessary time for your body to clear out stress hormones and rebalance its chemistry.
Recognizing that stress is not an unavoidable emotion but a product of our thoughts allows us to take proactive steps to manage it. By adjusting our perceptions and embracing practices that encourage relaxation, we reduce immediate stress symptoms and build a more resilient and balanced foundation for long-term well-being.
Charon Normand-Widmer, Sex Therapist, Relationship Coach
Charon Normand Widmer LMSW is a licensed psychotherapist, somatic sex therapist and trauma specialist. She specializes in working with individuals and couples seeking support navigating erotic, gender and sexual identity challenges; queer and alternative relationships, and trauma, utilizing a strengths-based, psychodynamic, compassion-based approach. Many seek therapy to feel better; working with Charon entails learning how to get better at feeling.
