Written by: Bruno Vanherberghen, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
We go where the wind blows. If we do not know where we are going, it is not possible for us to make decisions to get there. We would be like a ship without sails floating in the middle of an open ocean. Where we go would be primarily directed by external factors and less so by our own actions. How can we turn that around so that our lives are more steered by our own actions?
Simply put, goal setting – having things one is working towards.
In general, it is accepted that having well-defined goals, a plan of action, external accountability, and progress reports create the most successful results. Many of us have experienced of this type of routine goal-setting through our day-to-day work. There are company goals set each year and then it is our place to describe how our actions will contribute to achieving those goals. There is a range of frameworks that exist to help set goal, ensure that they are realistic and achievable, and set out steps to get there.
While highly structured goals are often set in our professional lives, we might not take a similar approach in our personal lives. We have things we want to do, but often, a detailed and structured path is not there in the same way. Maybe we are tired from our full-time work, and maybe we are busy taking care of practicalities, meeting friends, and meeting family. Or maybe the way we set goals at work is not particularly well suited to our private life. Maybe it feels like ‘one more thing to do like we create work but in our private life. Maybe it is also because, sometimes, achieving a goal feels anti-climatic, so we tend to be more free-flowing.
How can goal setting in our personal lives be made more meaningful?
What if we set goals based on feelings that we want to experience more of in our lives instead of things we want to achieve? It is a perception shift that can have a significant impact.
So, we take the focus away from the things we want to achieve, such as eating healthily, exercising more, drinking less, having financial goals, learning a new skill, learning to play a musical instrument, creating new friendships, and so forth.
Instead, identify emotions or feelings that we want to experience more frequently in our lives. Things such as happiness, joy, friendship, freedom, strength in the body, health, vitality, excitement, confidence, integrity, love, worthiness, connection, etc. This is where our primary focus will go.
Once we have identified emotions or feelings we want to experience more frequently, we can use traditional goal setting to identify actionable items that one can do in the short, medium and long term to experience these more frequently.
For example, say one wants to experience more a sense of belonging, of connection with others, in life. In the short term, one could have a goal to reach out to one friend/acquaintance each day. Medium-term, one could invite friends/acquaintances and colleagues over for dinner once a month. And in the long term, maybe one starts a new hobby or interest through which one can also meet new people.
Try it out. What positive emotions/experiences do you want to experience more of in your life and what are things that you can start doing today to help you experience those?
Bruno Vanherberghen, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Bruno is a life coach, specialized in helping people overcome their addictions and compulsive patterns. He knows how to step out of old patterns and emerge on the other side with a newfound freedom and drive for life. The ability to delay instant gratification to pursue longer term goals, follow and realize dreams and aspiration. We need to do things differently and Bruno is an expert at helping to manage personal change.
He suffered from heavy depression during his 20's at which point many of his compulsive behaviors spiraled out of control. Alcohol, drugs, porn, caffeine, sugar, gaming, food issues were some of his personal struggles. He can proudly say that the compulsion is a thing of the past.
He has coached over 700 individuals, has over 120 customer verified testimonials, an approval rating of 95% and more than 98% improve.
He has a deep personal understanding of addiction and is empathic, encouraging, caring with an occasional gentle firmness to help people realize the goals they set for themselves. His mission: to support people to realize their full potential.
