Written by: Lyn Ray, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
From when we are children, we absorb lots of messages from our families and society, that go into our subconscious minds, about what being successful means.
In our culture that often relates to having a great job, earning a lot of money, having a nice house, car and fancy holidays. It’s a message that runs through our capitalist society and media, in a drive to sell us more things.
Our education system tells us that if we work hard, get good grades, go onto further education, we will get a good job and be successful. Somewhere in there, there is a message that being successful will make us happy. Yet the evidence would suggest this is far from true. Whilst the gross domestic product per capita for the UK rose in a steep trajectory from 1970 to 2005, peaking at circa 50,000 USD/annum, it has since sat consistently between 40-45,000 USD/annum. This shows financially we are significantly wealthier than our predecessors, but it has come at a cost.
Statistics from Mind show that 1 in 4 people will experience a mental health problem of some kind each year in the United Kingdom. In 2018 the Mental Health Foundation commissioned what is believed to be the largest known study of stress levels in the UK. 4,619 people were surveyed. When asked about the past year, 74% said they felt so stressed they had been overwhelmed or unable to cope, 46% reported they ate too much or ate unhealthily due to stress, 29% reported they started drinking or drank more due to stress and 51% who felt stressed also reported feeling anxious.
These are gravely concerning statistics and it’s not just affecting adults. According to the World Health Organisation 20% of adolescents experience a mental health problem in any given year and 10% of children and young people have a clinically diagnosable mental health problem.
Has the time come for us to redefine success?
In her book “The Top Five Regrets of the Dying” Bronnie Ware, a former Palliative Care Nurse, describes the frustrations and regrets patients expressed in the last days of their lives. The most common regret was “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me” and the second “I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.”
A question I ask clients is, what would you like someone to say in your eulogy?
Whilst it seems a morbid question, the answer reflects what’s important to you and what you want to be remembered for. Living in a way that is aligned to that brings meaningful success and happiness. This question enables you to focus your time and energy on what’s most important to you. I urge you to ask that question.
Lyn Ray, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Lyn Ray is a Transformational Coach who specialises in helping busy people become happier, healthier and more fulfilled. For most of her adult life, Lyn struggled to find balance, either overworking at the expense of other areas of her life or sacrificing her career to enable her to be there for her family. This led to feelings of anxiety, frustration and a lack of fulfilment. After becoming increasingly interested in personal development, the lightbulb moment came when Lyn recognised that she was discounting her own abilities and the opportunities open to her. She retrained as a Transformational Coach and now works with clients to enable them to recognise the unique strengths & skills they have, the opportunities open to them, the limiting beliefs that hold them back and to build positive beliefs and habits to enable them to live the life they want.
