What Are the Hidden Gifts of Sibling Love? – A Heartfelt Thank You for the Unspoken Bonds
- Brainz Magazine
- Apr 3
- 16 min read
Updated: Apr 4
Written by Mariame Cisse, Self Care Empowerment Coach
Mariame is a leader in empowering mothers through empathy, connection, and support. Drawing from her own childhood experiences of separation from her mother, which led to emotional attachment challenges, as well as her journey as a solo parent to three children over a decade ago, Mariame developed transformative strategies that significantly improved her well-being and emotional resilience.
As I sit down to reflect on my life’s journey, I find myself overwhelmed with gratitude for the incredible bond of sibling love. These relationships have profoundly shaped who I am, and without the unwavering support, understanding, and cooperation of my siblings, I would not be where I am today.
The power of support
For nearly a decade, my siblings have been my backbone, the steady support I’ve relied on when life threw challenges my way. When I struggled to contribute to our parents’ care, they stepped in with full force, offering their financial, emotional, and physical support.
Their commitment and love have been constant, showing me the true meaning of family. Without their sacrifices, I would not have had the space or freedom to pursue my own dreams. They have truly been my heroes, and for this, I am forever grateful. May Allah continue to shower us with His endless blessings, protection, and guidance for us all.
Understanding and empathy
What makes sibling love so powerful is the deep understanding we share. We all have our strengths and weaknesses, but instead of dwelling on imperfections, we have always embraced and respected each other’s unique qualities. We support one another through thick and thin, helping each other grow and evolve. This bond of mutual respect and love has created a foundation built on empathy, understanding, and shared growth. I deeply cherish this, as it has been one of the cornerstones of my strength.
None of this gratitude comes lightly. I know that expressing these feelings earlier in my life could have drained my mental energy and made me emotional, and it’s taken me time to fully process and appreciate this connection and support. But I have come to realize that now, in this moment of reflection, it is essential to acknowledge the love and support that has shaped my journey.
Cooperation and teamwork
The relationship between my siblings has always been built on cooperation and shared purpose. Each of us brings something unique to the table, and together, we have formed a powerful unit that has weathered many storms. Whether it was being there for our parents, helping plan family events, or simply showing up for one another, our teamwork has made all the difference. This level of cooperation has been one of the strongest pillars supporting our bond.
A journey of love and gratitude: My sibling’s impact
Okay, let’s dive in, starting with our very own role model, My Older Brother.
Abdullkader: My anchor of peace, a calm refuge, and a symbol of quiet tolerance
My older brother has been an incredible source of love and support throughout my life. He was taken to Africa when I was under a year old, and I didn’t see him again until I was five. The first time we were reunited in Jarumeh Kuta, I didn’t remember him at all and saw him as an outsider. But, as if by magic, the power of love transformed my perception in a very short period of time. Suddenly, he became someone I couldn’t bear to be without.
When my parents left me in Africa, he became my anchor. I remember traveling with our grandmother, Aja Fanta, Rahimahallah, to her soul sister Aja Alima in Busumbala. One of the sweetest people I have ever met. I was excited to return to the village after spending four months plus away, only to learn that he had traveled for Quranic learning in Gunjur and would not be coming back anytime soon. Reflecting on that moment taught me that no matter how young you are, when you lose something precious, it becomes even more valuable.
He’s the kind of person who embodies kindness, gentleness, and understanding in every way. He’s not one for conflict, always seeking peace and harmony in everything he does. His loving nature and unwavering support for his sisters have left a lasting impact on all of us, even though he may not realize it. He holds a huge place in our hearts, and we always look to him as a silent example of true compassion.
One of our grandmas, our dad’s auntie, Aja Jimbo, Rahimahallah, who lovingly cared for us and always called my brother ‘Bukaadre,’ a name I still use to call him in remembrance. We’ve been surrounded by incredible grandmothers whose small gestures left a lasting impact on our lives.
Tony Robbins, a legend in personal development history, once said, ‘The quality of your life is the quality of your relationships.’ This deeply resonates with me as I reflect on the strength and depth of the bonds I share with my siblings.
Diarrai: My precious treasure and the heartbeat of our family’s strength
I and my parents went to Africa with Diarrai, then she returned to France with them, I stayed in Africa when I was younger, and I felt a tremendous sense of loss. But when she returned five years later to reunite with me, she became like a daughter to me. They stayed for about a year, then they returned to France, and then Diarrai stayed. While my parents were away, I treated her like a diamond she is. I never experienced sibling rivalry because she was more like a child to me than a sibling.
Then, two and half years later, when she joined me in the city, Serra Kunda, Bandung, Uncle Saraneh’s home. Rahimahullah, as we were in the village.
I was just 13 years old, I can hardly describe the joy and excitement I felt. It was an overwhelming sense of accomplishment that made me feel whole. Being apart from her was indescribably hard, even though we were in the same country. I clearly remember writing a few words from the Quran on a piece of paper and giving it to her as a form of protection. I felt a deep sense of responsibility for having my younger sister living together.
I remember sometimes going to the market to buy t-shirts for her, and occasionally, I would end up wearing them often. Just finding ways to create and embody that oneness and connection. This was also true for my two younger siblings. People would bring back the same clothes over and over again. Some would think they were for me, but in fact, they were usually for her. It got to the point where people couldn’t tell the difference. Guess what?! They gave up!
Diarrai has always loved bread. If you're familiar with French history, you’ll know how significant bread is. Sometimes, I would intentionally set aside a few dalasis in my bag, anticipating moments when she might need to buy bread. This simple act filled me with a profound joy, a sense of fulfillment, and responsibility.
Someone once told me that when she went to Paris, she could smell bread in the air. The next time I went to Paris, going to the bakery shop with Diarrai, well before entering the bakery shop I noticed the smell that the person was referring to. It was funny but true!
When we reunited in France in 2003, after my return two years earlier, the separation anxiety had left me sleepless for weeks. Seeing her meet my first daughter, Aicha, for the first time and witnessing the brightness in her eyes is an experience I will never forget.
Her humor never fails to brighten my mood, even when everything feels unbearable. Her laughter is infectious, filling the room with an energy that’s impossible to ignore. She’s never unnoticed when she’s around; her sense of humor makes her presence you can’t forget.
Amid these treasured reflections, I cannot overlook the kindness of Uncle Saraneh Jatta, who welcomed everyone with open arms. Whether family or non-family, Uncle Saraneh was always exemplary in offering a sanctuary for many, whether for treatment, education, or leisure. His doors were always open, extending warmth and generosity that left a lasting impact. My special regards go to my aunties, Ma Nyima Dibba Chaaku Walimang and Fatou Jaman, from Kayayi Jalikoreh, Mansa Maaru. Sona Jobarteh, Kalajula Sankoy, Junsang Ning Tiramakang, and my thoughts on Numu-kunda as well.
While Uncle Saraneh’s home was a haven for many, it was the love and wisdom shared within our own family that truly shaped us. And now, speaking of love and guidance, let me share my experience about an amazing Aissatou.
Aissatou: The gentle guardian of divine wisdom
I remember being so obsessed with Aissatou before returning to France in 1998. I last saw her when she was only two months old in Africa, and I hadn’t seen her until she was nearly 13 years old. I remember crying heavily to a cousin, Mama Sainey, saying, “If I die today, Aissatou won’t even know me.” She was only 10 years old at the time.
Because I remembered, the very last time I set my eyes on her was in our grandmother’s bed, Aja Fanta, the night that my parents were leaving with her and Diarrai. I tried to stay awake until morning, waiting for their departure. As my mom had already told me, “I will leave you behind, but I’ll come back soon. I won’t be gone for long.” I kind of agreed, but deep down, I found it hard to accept. I was in denial, but I didn’t know how to express my feelings or emotions. That particular night, I stayed with Nafie and her siblings while they were studying in Kayai, Mbaring-Kunda, in the middle of the house, just to avoid going to bed. In case they wanted to leave, I could be awake to witness my parents and sisters' departure. But I believe that was intentional because I knew it would be difficult for my mom to look into my eyes and say goodbye.
I felt so tired from staying awake that I eventually decided to go to bed while my two sisters were already sleeping in our grandmother’s bed. For a moment, I thought to myself: I know my mom said she would take both of my younger sisters, but if, for some reason, she had to take only one, it would be Aissatou, the younger sister, as she was just 2 months old, while Diarrai was already three years and a few months old. So, I crossed my arm over Aissatou's arm, thinking that if they tried to leave, I would feel it and wake up. But at only six years old, I had just turned six at that moment, I slept through until woliha (between 9:30 to 11:00 a.m., something like that).
When I woke up, I remember clinging to my Barbie and holding onto anything my mom had touched. The black and blue faano (a traditional cloth) she gave me from her manyio faano felt like a symbolic memory of my mom.
I remember going to Jarumeh Kuta, my dad’s village, which was about a 20-minute walk from my mom’s village, Kayai. When I entered the house, I went straight under the beds, searching for my mom, because, for some reason, that’s where I thought she might be, even though she told me they were going. One of my aunts, Wuday, burst into tears when she saw me going under the beds one after the other.
During the first five years we were apart, I continued talking about my mom to our grandmother ( her mother ), constantly repeating my feelings to her. Eventually, one lady told her, “If you don’t take this child to her mom, she will go crazy.
This experience shows the importance of a mother in a child’s life and how separation can deeply affect a child. This is why I do what I do: to help moms spend quality, meaningful time with their children while creating lifelong memories.
When I finally returned to France, we shared a bed and talked almost throughout the night, asking each other questions about our experiences. Her maturity level was high enough to make me feel more comfortable and confident in our conversations. Hafeezah of the Quran, Maa Janko, your devotion to preserving the beautiful words of Allah is a profound inspiration to all of us. May Allah continue to bless us all with His endless mercy and rewards.
Another beautiful moment I remember, making dua for Aissatou, was when she sometimes dropped off my daughter, Kadija, and my nephew, Omar, Diarrai’s firstborn, taking them to daycare while I was expecting Fatima, my third daughter, and Diarrai was attending school and working at the same time. Continue saying Ameen.
This is a beautiful reminder of how nurturing our relationships with our siblings and loved ones brings not only emotional fulfillment but also divine blessings. This is reflected in a well-known hadith of the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him), reported in Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim:
‘Whoever would like his rizq (provision) to be increased and his lifespan to be extended, let him uphold the ties of kinship.’ (Sahih al-Bukhari, 2067; Sahih Muslim, 2557)
This hadith emphasizes the immense reward and blessings that come from maintaining family ties. Strengthening bonds with relatives not only brings barakah (blessings) in one’s wealth and sustenance but also leads to an increase in lifespan.
As we reflect on these stories, let them inspire us to cherish and nurture the relationships we have with our loved ones today, for tomorrow is not promised.
These connections are not only a source of joy but also a pathway to Allah’s abundant blessings.
Keeping this wisdom close to heart, let me introduce you to another remarkable sibling of mine.
Jankey: The dream chaser and soul of generosity
I remembered the first time I laid my eyes on her in Africa, just a few hours later standing next to me, holding on with such trust and warmth. She was just four years old, holding her under my arm and feeling the strength with which she clung to me. It was hard to believe it was the first time we met, yet it felt like we had been together forever. You didn’t look at me the way I looked at Abdullkader, our brother, the first time I met him, but it was as if you had known me since birth. In my case, it wasn’t like that at all. As I watched him from an outsider’s perspective, I was five years old then. I now understand how heartbroken he must have felt. Because, if you had denied me in the same way, I would have felt that pain, too.
Jankey and I developed a special connection during her one-year English study in London, back in the 2008-2009 academic year. Despite the challenges we faced together and, of course, amazing experiences as well, I remembered one incident where she felt helpless and empathetic towards me but did not know what to do. She was a significant supporter and helped me a lot during those days, giving me reasons to feel lively. That year brought us closer than ever, and we also discovered a shared interest in entrepreneurship that continues to inspire me.
Jankey introduced me to the world of TV. The reality shows I watched led to an exposure that widened my perspective and allowed me to dream bigger than what I once knew to be possible. It sparked a curiosity in me to explore what’s achievable and inspired me to see how I could accomplish greater things. This shift in mindset has been instrumental in helping me dig deeper into my potential and pursue opportunities I once thought were beyond my reach. So, thank you!
I will never forget her laughter when I nearly fell on the escalator at the airport on my first day back to France after 13 years. But don’t worry, it has since become a great memory, stored in my memory vault that I revisit and look back on and laugh about
And then, there’s a bright light in my life that I can’t help but admire. Watching her grow is like witnessing a flower blossom, unfolding with grace and beauty. When she looks at you with those crystal-clear eyes, it’s as if she’s reflecting the purest form of love and wonder. Our baby sister, her delicateness is like a raindrop falling softly, leaving a quiet yet lasting impression. Though she carried more weight than most ever saw, her quiet strength and unwavering spirit always left me in awe, showing us that resilience shines brightest in the softest and delicate souls.
Fatou: A heart overflowing with love
She has a gentle soul with a genuine smile. Though she was young when I arrived in France, about 4 years old, she immediately became an example of love and kindness for all of us. I vividly remember receiving her drawing after giving birth to my first daughter, Aicha. It was heartwarming, with beautiful color combinations that showed the love she put into it.
Receiving that from my five-year-old sister after giving birth to my daughter was such a pure and heartfelt moment. The colors she chose, the way she drew it, it was as if she was sending a piece of her love to me. At that age, there’s no agenda, no expectations, just pure, unfiltered love expressed through simple, joyful strokes of color. It reminded me how powerful these innocent gestures of love can be.”
It was a beautiful reminder of the simplicity and innocence of childhood. It wasn’t just a piece of paper; it was her way of celebrating the new life we were welcoming. To her, it was just a fun way to express her excitement, but to me, it felt like a moment of deep connection, pure and full of joy, where love was communicated without words.”
Picking her up from the nursery brought me so much joy those were days filled with laughter and warmth. I also remember that when I first arrived in France and couldn’t speak French, I would talk to her in broken French, and she would look at me with a smile, even if she didn’t say anything. It was a simple yet profound connection that I miss dearly.
Inspired by the strong bonds in my family, have you ever wondered what makes family relationships so unbreakable? Let's explore five tips that can help you build stronger, more meaningful bonds with your loved ones.
5 ways to build strong relationships with your siblings or loved ones
Building a deep, lasting bond with your siblings requires intentional effort, empathy, and understanding. Whether you’re looking to strengthen your connection or rebuild it, these five strategies will help nurture a relationship rooted in love and mutual respect.
1. Practice unconditional love and acceptance
True sibling bonds are built on unconditional love and acceptance. Embrace your siblings for who they are, flaws and all. Recognize that people grow and change, and loving them through every phase of life strengthens the relationship.
Tip: Show your love through consistent support and encouragement, especially during difficult times.
2. Prioritize connection and build trust
Connection and trust are the pillars of any strong sibling relationship. Make a conscious effort to stay connected by checking in regularly and engaging in meaningful conversations. Trust grows when you show reliability, respect, and empathy toward one another.
Tip: Be present and attentive when your siblings share their thoughts and feelings. Consistency in your actions builds trust over time.
3. Create and nurture shared experiences
Shared experiences build lasting memories and deepen emotional bonds. Whether it’s a family tradition, traveling together, or enjoying a hobby, spending intentional time together reinforces your connection.
Tip: Establish regular traditions or activities that you can both look forward to, creating opportunities to strengthen your relationship.
4. Offer support and celebrate each other’s achievements
Be your sibling’s biggest cheerleader. Supporting each other through life’s ups and downs fosters a deep sense of trust and connection. Celebrate their successes and stand by them during challenges.
Tip: Acknowledge their efforts and achievements, no matter how big or small, to show that you’re genuinely invested in their happiness.
5. Forgive and let go of the past
Holding onto past disagreements and misunderstandings can prevent growth in your relationship. Forgiveness allows for healing and helps you move forward with a clean slate.
Tip: Approach conflicts with empathy, and be willing to forgive not only for the other person but for yourself too, because it sets you free from worries or unnecessary pain, and gives each other the space to grow and reconnect beautifully.
Now that you have these insights, what’s one thing you’re committed to doing today? Take one step that will directly enhance your relationship, and see how it transforms your connection moving forward.”
A special thank you to Musu
I would like to take this opportunity to thank our sister-in-law, Musu. Her way of strengthening our bond and standing up for our family is truly admirable. She has been a pillar of support and unity, reminding us that family is not just about blood; it’s about the love and dedication we put into nurturing each other. Thank you, Musu, for being such a blessing in our lives.
A heartfelt thank you to my parents
Behind every successful sibling bond, there are always parents who nurture, love, and guide us through life. I cannot express enough how much gratitude I feel for our parents, who laid the foundation for all of us. The love and wisdom they shared have shaped not just our sibling bond but who we are as individuals. Thank you, Mom and Dad, for always providing that nurturing presence and for showing us the true meaning of family. Without your influence, there would be no story of sibling love to tell.
Mom. Your relentless efforts in managing all our paperwork with such care and perseverance paved the way for our future, by the grace of Allah.
If it weren't for your strength and determination during our time in Africa, returning to Paris wouldn't have been possible. I'm forever blessed by your love and sacrifices.
A heartfelt thank you to my siblings
To my dear siblings, I want to express my deepest gratitude from the bottom of my heart. Achieving recognition from esteemed publications such as Passion Vista, Hoinster Group Magazine, and Inside Success International Magazine is a dream come true. For a moment, this might feel like a personal victory, but in my heart, I know this is our victory. Without your support, sacrifices, and constant presence in my life, none of this would have been possible.
As the Founder of Moms Thrive Hub and the Lead of the Caregivers Program at California Brainwaves, I have had the privilege of serving and impacting our community in meaningful ways. This journey has been shaped by your unwavering commitment, to our family, to our shared values, and to lifting each other up.
I am deeply grateful to have won an Impact Award from Map To Clients, under the leadership of Sandra Kemayou, the Business Strategist and Growth Architect.
I am also honored to be recognized as one of Brainz Magazine’s Annual 500 Global Members for significant achievements and dedication to helping others around the globe. None of this would have been possible without you, and for that, I am forever grateful.
You have stood by me through thick and thin, held down the fort, and made sure that everything continued to run smoothly while I pursued my dreams. Your love, empathy, and unwavering commitment to the family have made this success possible. This recognition is not just mine, but a testament to the power of sibling love and teamwork.
Your sacrifices and dedication gave me the space I needed to focus on creating a vision for our family and the world. Without your support, none of this would have been possible. Thank you for your belief in me, for your patience, and for your love. You make all of this feel so worthwhile.
Cherishing the moments
Strengthen your bond with your siblings or loved ones today. Every interaction is an opportunity to grow closer. I encourage you to reflect on your own sibling relationships and take a moment today to reach out. Whether it’s a heartfelt message, a phone call, or a simple gesture of kindness, cherish these connections. Create new traditions or experiences that bring you closer together. Share your stories, laugh, and make memories because these moments will stay with you forever.
Let the hidden gifts of sibling love continue to shine brightly in our lives. Together, we grow stronger.
In unity, we find our strength.
Remember, siblings are the silent anchors, holding us steady through life’s storms.
How does your relationship with your sibling or loved one influence your emotional well-being? Have you noticed how strong connections impact your overall sense of fulfillment and happiness?
Call to action
“What is one small, meaningful action you can take today to strengthen your bond with your sibling or loved one? Whether it’s a message, a gesture, or spending quality time together, taking this step today could spark your day.
Read more from Mariame Cisse
Mariame Cisse, Self Care Empowerment Coach
Now a mother of six, Mariame has dedicated her life to helping overwhelmed moms, especially those raising children with special needs, unlock their full potential. She is the founder and CEO of Thrive Hub, a company focused on elevating mothers’ lives through holistic support and coaching. Mentored by a top Cambridge University lecturer in coaching and mentoring, Mariame brings deep knowledge and compassion to her mission.
Her mission is clear: “Mom first, always.”
