Written by: Sruti Kanabar, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
So it’s been a while since my last offering to the Brainz Magazine family and I've been working to gather some great insights for you all, so watch this space for some regular articles to hit your mailbox from now until the end of March 2022.
I thought when I embraced this opportunity that I would create a piece of writing on a monthly basis, though life took me in a different direction for a while. Sometimes we need to gather more experiences and more wisdom to add to our life’s library before we can empower and add value to those who we love to serve.
When I started my corporate role in December 2020 I wasn't aware of what would happen, just that It was the right step to take. I refer to this as the quiet knowing that tells you what to do next though I believe we have learnt to downplay it by listening to our intellect more which craves more certainty than life can possibly give.
The old self, who was really attached to the fear of the unknown would’ve really found this unsettling, not knowing how things would pan out though this new, emerging and purposeful self has learnt such a profound lesson during the early onset of the pandemic: that the only certainty is uncertainty and that the suffering we actually feel comes from trying to fight what life has in store for us.
We have this illusion of linear progression within our minds where we take these grandiose steps to a particular destination which we define as success. A destination which we believe will confirm that we are finally good enough. I have found life to be this magnificent sculpture which breaks this illusion to create a more humbled, wise and hopeful version of yourself which is open to embracing the journey and what is next.
New insights, new loves, new opportunities, new moments of joy and peace.
My biggest shift within the past 10 months has been to learn how to walk by faith more than sight without wanting to profusely throw up in the process. The old ‘I suffer from anxiety’ self had great ammunition at its disposal during this journey though I feel a lot more peaceful whilst re-emerging from the other side as somewhat victorious and connected to the light.
I like to remind you that, “we can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them “ (Einstein), yet we hold onto these past, less woke patterns of survival like we would die if we parted ways with them because we have lost the discernment between these said patterns and our true selves. I believe this happens when we fall under the pretense that there is nothing else in life to experience and strive for if we don't reach what we believe makes us successful at the first instance, crumbling under the notion of failure.
We have created our identities based on what we do, what we have and who we have in our lives rather than boldy accepting that we are just the mere treasurers of it all and the wonderful lessons they bring.
So after:
45 weekly peer group coaching sessions,
30 peer 1 to 1 coaching sessions,
28 team leader 1 to 1 coaching sessions,
15 new recruit peer group coaching sessions,
2 team leader ‒ leadership development sessions,
1 zoom call in front of the whole organisation where I got to share my coaching mission, & a handful of gifts under the disguise of setbacks, I present to you a summary of my learnings and reflections.
Coaching informed Lessons:
Cure vs Care
I remember the first time I came across this beautiful nugget of dharma from my favorite Bhuddist Monk, Ajahn Brahm. I never thought I would have a favourite monk like I have a favorite lipstick though his talks have helped me take care of my mind and my heart in such a kind way. This has powerfully informed my mission as a coach and I have also taken on his tendency to share some very silly jokes to lighten up the mood of those I cross paths with.
The main distinction between the two constructs is that we cannot always cure ourselves, other people or the situation in front of us though you can always care.
Care for that person in front of you, care for that disengaged reflection of yourself in the mirror and the situations that life presents to you because it's within this caring that if there is a genuine problem, a cure will be found.
This has helped my clients embrace what’s within their control and create a more caring and loving approach to how they fulfill their role within the workplace.
I recently coached a client on the power of forgiveness when their team leader had made a mistake though they didn't dig deep and apologise for their actions or help my client move forward. This takes me nicely to my next learning.
Vulnerability vs Invulnerability
One of the first things I did when I decided to embark upon my healing journey almost 10 years ago was to unpack the construct of Shame.
I would like to state that I never thought I would be spending my weekends unpacking shame and learning how to heal it though it has become such a beautiful way to add depth and understanding to my clients’ transformations.
Clients who sometimes feel broken, not enough and overwhelmed when ‘their’ old wounds come up to the surface because they have had a setback at work, or have been treated in an unfair way. It is during these instances that I have coached them to embrace their vulnerability as a strength rather than a weakness and they have been able to change these setbacks into rewarding challenges.
They have then been able to create a much-welcomed distance between them and the thoughts, emotions, memories of the past and the anxieties of the future that come in and out of their awareness.
They now have a better understanding of how they can come out of ‘judge mode’, a part of our brain which judges ourselves, others and life from the lens of fear and move towards the loving ‘sage mode’ which sees everything in life as a gift, an opportunity or an abundant lesson.
I look forward to sharing more valuable insights with you very soon though for now I leave you with the following questions :
What are your main lessons for 2021 ?
What unwanted setbacks have you turned into beautiful gifts within the last 12 months?
Who are you deeply grateful for in your life?
I want to thank everyone who has made the year 2021 a wonderful and purposeful experience. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas break and New year.
Love,
Sruti <3
Sruti Kanabar, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Sruti Kanabar is a distinguished Life and Small Business Coach. During her journey with Depression and Anxiety, she has found her purpose in helping women accept that they are good enough to live the life and build the business they want. She transforms women by increasing their shame resilience, helping them heal from minor and major traumas from the past, and connecting to a great purpose in life. When setbacks, obstacles, and failures come, they are seen as a beautiful part of the journey than being internalized. She empowers women through wisdom and knowledge nuggets from multiple faiths and disciplines to get the right solution to their challenges in life.
