Written by: John Scott, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
This note is the first insight in a four-part goal-setting and attainment series. NASA has a plan to send people to the Moon in 2024. But that is only the intermediate goal. The big prize is getting to Mars: this is big stuff and requires many big and small steps to get there.
We likely have other plans: more earthly goals. For example, we could lose some weight, get fit, be more focused, read more, be more diligent in our financial planning, or do some compelling work at work.
Knowing where we are going and how to get there skillfully is best.
A goal could also be to feel a certain way, like rested, energized, or more motivated. One or two words can help keep everything we want, be aligned and in flow, like being present, disciplined, or courageous.
One of my longest-time friends was an exceptional swimmer. When he was 13 or 14, he returned from a swim meet with gold, silver, and two bronze medals. He showed his father the results of his hard work with great pride. His father ripped into him for getting two bronze medals and told my friend he would have to do better to substantiate the money spent on one of the best swim clubs in the country.
After World War II, the science of psychology was primarily devoted to curing illness or lack. Taking someone from minus five on a spectrum to zero or "average" is called the weakness focus: what is wrong rather than what is good.
I reported to a guy once who would point out things he didn't like about my work. Adding it was a short list, but his feedback had no balance. While I believe he thought these conversations helped, the way he brought them up hurt and certainly was not motivating. And our private thoughts often are not helpful.
In the early 1900s, William James, an American Philosopher, began to look in earnest at optimal human functioning. The idea and study of all the stuff to the right of zero, say to plus five, has created the field of positive psychology, which is quite rich with research about thriving.
A well-intentioned person might say, "Whatever you do, don't…"
How we construct a goal matters to motivation and its attainment.
The science of thriving is a much healthier basis for setting and attaining the goals we desire to achieve. Here is a science-based look at goal setting structure:
1. Proximity – How far out in time is the goal to be attained? Shorter-term goals tend to be easier to stay focused on and can be used to support longer-term goals.
2. Specificity – "I want to read eight non-fiction books this year" is more specific than "to read more." Being specific helps our brains "see" or bring in that, which allows us to manifest our intention.
3. Orientation – "I intend to eat a healthy diet" (approach goal) is different than "I want to eat less crappy food" (avoidance goal). Our brains will focus on healthy or crappy, not on "less." Go with approach goals.
4. Purpose – As in the purpose of the goal. Is it about learning, developing a skill, or performance? There are more positive outcomes with a learning goal and more negative effects or risks with performance goals. If we don't hit the target, we may feel like a failure or lacking. *If using performance goals, be aware of the potential negative mental feedback.
5. Duration – A "process" goal is a regular action, like writing three pages daily. These tend to be about creating habits: more effort to sustain. An "end state" goal is a specific task after which nothing is required, like, "I will finish writing the book."
If we put our goals through the above filter, we can fine-tune the intent to increase the wording's potency.
The other day I was tired. The last part of some amazing chocolate ice cream was in the freezer. I had intended to eat only healthy food that day, but fatigue and desire teamed up and overcame self-regulation, and the next thing I knew, I was rinsing out the empty container. I decided to forgive myself.
On a more serious note, we can decide to, and it’s ok to, forgive ourselves for something we haven't done, become, or acquired yet. Of course, beating ourselves up for something not done is a nasty, twisted bit of wiring from which people can suffer. But on the other hand, forgiveness might divert some energy to empower what we want to create more.
Beginning now with awareness and learning from wherever we are with whatever level of capacity to move towards our goal is logical, a little kinder, and works better.
And a little ice cream along the way is ok.
John Scott, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
John worked in sales and leadership in the financial industry for 30 years. For part of that time, he experienced a great deal of stress and didn't know the way back. As a result, John's health and well-being suffered. Becoming burnt out was the stimulus to wake up with a determination to do his life differently.
John began a private journey to understand and overcome the negative stress he was experiencing. He found a formula for sustainable performance he now shares to help people move through common challenges to experience more great and less grind.
John has completed Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR, U. of Massachusetts), Foundations of Applied Mindfulness Meditation (U. of Toronto), and the Certificate in Applied Positive Psychology (CAPP, Flourishing Center, NY).
John's adventures include:
• Climbing Mount Kenya and Mount Kilimanjaro.
• Two dog sledding trips to the Canadian Arctic.
• Two record-breaking swim crossings Lake Ontario (51km)
• The first to swim from Christian Island to Collingwood, in Georgian Bay (32km).
John brings his experience in life, learning, and adventure to help people do life and work well through writing, speaking, and coaching.
