Written by: Heidi Kyle, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
After my article last month entitled “Let’s Fly – The Superpower You Didn’t Know you Had” I thought I would follow up with another article about what happens after Regression Therapy.
This is Part 2 of that series and it’s so important to understand and convey this. Sometimes after Regression Therapy we can feel like we are at the controls of a new plane – wow, it’s wonderful but can be a bit daunting – what to do with all this new emotional bandwidth?
So let us imagine the following first: you have come to me, as described in the first article, and you are now feeling great. You understand your relationship with your childhood, and you are now healed, you feel a sense of peace, of release, of almost wonder. This is good, right? Yes! It is!
However, a small disclaimer that I hope will excite you – what about the life you have set up already? All those people who relate to you as your own self? What about those people eyeing you with that “is this really you” look? Read on and I will relay some funny stories and take you through this phase.
We can think of Regression Therapy almost like an awakening. Maybe we have been going through life and variously struggling with relationships that break down, unsatisfying work, maybe some depression, some anxiety and then almost like magic it’s all gone after Regression Therapy. We have two strands of experience that we now need to bring our attention to. The first is easy: it’s us. The second is a little more work: Other People.
Let’s take ourselves first. We need to understand that a lifetime of emotional conditioning was dealt with. However, we also have habitual ways that we operate day to day and for about three weeks or a little longer after Regression Therapy we just need to be aware of this. We may automatically do a few things that our “old” self-did and then we catch ourselves and choose another way. This time is a very good time to keep a diary and notice what is happening. Just so we are aware and can hit the ground running, so to speak.
An example would be that we used to always apologise for ourselves. This is a very common problem that many people have. Perhaps we are in the habit of starting sentences with “I’m sorry”. People who do this are often apologising for their mere existence and it’s a self-esteem issue. During the initial phase after Regression Therapy we may have to exercise some mindfulness. Perhaps we devise other ways to speak or start sentences and then practice them. So, in this example we are really working with our speech and conveying who we know we are more powerfully.
A second strand that takes a little more time is Other People. This is because we have spent a lifetime being a certain way and it takes other people a little more time to get used to our New Selves. We may have set up an entire identity around our faulty emotional conditioning from childhood and now we have to train others to accept and relate to our new, healthy behavior. A classic example is people who have been chronically anxious. Their friends and family and colleagues are used to their anxiety, so they have become adept at shielding them or speaking carefully in case they provoke an anxiety attack. They are being kind, but it can also leave the person feeling shielded and not taken seriously. We then have to demonstrate and show them we can “cope” for a period before they start to believe. This is easier than it sounds.
A wonderful example from my practice was a dear client who was in the habit of “saving” everyone around her. This “saving” took the form of monetary loans, lifts, chores for others and much more. This lovely lady would spend literally hours on the phone counselling and advising her many friends who thought nothing of phoning her for a four hour talk about themselves!
After Regression Therapy my client was fully aware that the “saving” she was doing was really trying to save her mother who sadly had committed suicide when she was a child. This client had literally been carrying around a desperate need to “save” as a way of saving her mother who ultimately, she had no power to save and could not save. Once she understood this and was able to say goodbye to her mother and accept her mother’s choice, she was able to move on.
It was a wonderful release but after this came a period of having to train the people in her life. She would receive phone calls with the other person settling themselves in for a nice long four hour talk about themselves. She started to surprise herself by saying after ten minutes “really sorry but can we talk another time, just a bit busy at the moment”. Initially her friends and family were a little put out! Hey, aren’t you the person who is there whenever I want you to be?
Some real friends stopped doing this and some found other people they could have that relationship with. The most important thing is that this client started feeling a huge surge of energy and excitement in her life. Suddenly lots of time freed up and she could start interesting courses and take up enjoyable hobbies, just for herself. She met many new people and it was a lovely awakening for her that took her on a entirely new journey in life.
Emotional change is always a process. We have to remind ourselves to enjoy the process, not be hard on ourselves and just go with the flow and the ride. Let it take us where our soul knows we need to go. Sometimes, we also have to realize when to let the others in our lives know that we are ready and capable of moving on from negative patterns. This can be the most meaningful experience of all and can result in a lot of validation from others and real support.
Heidi Kyle, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Heidi Kyle is a well-known hypnotherapist and counsellor in private practice in the incredible Drakensberg Mountains in South Africa. Heidi started her career in the corporate world in London and has since used her experience to craft a unique style in the helping professions. With hypnosis and our shared consciousness being the next frontier of evolving humanity, Heidi has developed the "Centred Consciousness" approach to take back our power in our lives and to understand our own unique role in the human story. Heidi's mission is to bring about change in the human psyche to benefit all. Heidi is currently working on her first book "Journeys in Hypnosis".
