Written by: Bronwen Sciortino, Senior Level Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
When was the last time you had a moment to yourself? A moment to sit and relax, ponder the Universe, soak up the sun, read a good book, go for a walk in nature… a moment that was just yours and you didn’t have to share it?
Today’s way of living is so busy that those moments are few and far between. Most of us are lucky if we get one once a year. And they often happen by accident because something else that was scheduled fell through, or we reached a breaking point and felt like we had to stop because nothing else would do.
You’re ‘supposed’ to be grateful – everyone says that that will be the thing that brings you salvation. After all, you can’t manifest properly if you aren't positive. So, you put a lot of effort into your manifestations, trying not to feel defeated on the inside when they don't materialise.
You get up at 5 in the morning and push yourself in the latest HIIT activity that is the latest craze, because they say you can’t be successful if you don’t get up early and sweat like crazy.
You keep a smile on your face, while secretly hoping that one day you'll be the one to discover that one tiny nugget of knowledge that means you can escape, that YOU will get to be the one that is freed.
You make sure you’re mindful and that you’re constantly building your resilience levels, because they all say that’s the only way to cope in today’s world. You go out of your way to remember more, do more and be more, all with a focus on being a ‘better’ person, because that’s what they all say is needed to get ahead.
And when none of it works, you push the thought that there must be something wrong with you deep down inside where no one can see it.
And then you step back up to the plate, attend the next event, support the next charity, complete the next course and over commit yourself way too often… and continue to try and prove that you’re a worthwhile citizen.
There’s a whole lot of ‘they say you should… ‘, ‘they say you have to… ‘, ‘they say you need to…’ going on, but not many of us stop to ask who is actually driving what happens in our lives.
FOMO drives the lives of too many of us
Because we're so concerned with finding the ‘golden nugget’ that will launch our lives into a different stratosphere, we're afraid of missing out on the ‘one thing’ that will change the way we live forever.
That leaves us with our head spinning, trying to get to everything so we don’t miss out. And we create a life that is fueled by a deep-seated worry that if we haven’t already succeeded, we might not amount to much.
Before we know it, we've accepted a way of life where being exhausted and stressed is considered normal. In fact, the majority of people now hold the opinion that you must work extra hard if you are not these things, and that if you’re not stressed you can’t experience success.
Our minds whirl as we try to fit everything in, because it feels like we have to say ‘yes’ to all the networking events, AND all of the business and personal development programs. Our sleep is the first thing to suffer – and we were already getting too little of that critical component to start with.
Feeling overwhelmed, anxious and worn out becomes the baseline of life, and we become lost in a spiral of constantly having to prove that we’re achieving, even when it feels like everything is going wrong.
We can’t possibly fit everything in, but we step up and give it a red-hot cracking go anyway. And, because we’re extraordinary, we deliver at levels that are outstanding… and then berate ourselves for dropping a ball or two along the way.
FOMO is to blame
Today, FOMO is the main cause of our society's rising stress, health problems, and untimely physical and psychological breakdowns.
We’re addicted to being busy because it has been presented to us as the only way to prove that we’re getting ahead. Plus, being busy gives us the ‘evidence’ we need to share with the world.
We attempt to downplay the role that it plays in our life by making a joke about it and accusing our pals of ‘FOMOing’… but it’s actually a pervasive force in our lives that is fueling the panic that simmers just below the surface.
We say that FOMO is to blame, but really, we’ve let FOMO take hold and control the things we do and how we do them.
We’ve listened when we’ve been told that before we can get ahead, we have do something, experience something, go to something, learn something, or be something. We’ve allowed ourselves to be over-committed, over-worked and over-stimulated, because we thought that if we didn’t we’d fall behind.
When we listen to ourselves, we always find the way
The truth is, there isn’t really a set definition of success; rather, it lies in the eye of the beholder. Even if we experience exactly the same thing, what is successful for me won’t necessarily be successful for others.
And when you look at the people who seem to have more ‘freedom’ in their lives, you often see that they do things their own way. But what is freedom anyway? That too is in the eye of the beholder.
When we follow what others are doing and/or what others tell us we need to do, must have, should be going to – and the list goes on! – without first knowing what is important to us, what success looks like for us and what fuels our energy, we will always be putting ourselves into a situation where what we do doesn’t work for us.
We create a self-fulfilling prophecy of never getting what we want, never achieving what we think we should and never finding the pathway to happiness that we’ve been told is supposedly ours to own.
If you talk to the people who have broken free from the cycle, they’ll tell you that being busy is not the key to success; rather, it’s filling your life with people, places and things that offer us more energy than it takes to do them. They will also tell you that this is different for everyone.
There is no one magic bullet that catapults you to success. But here’s what there is: simple easy and practical steps you can create for yourself to turn your life in a different way. And that is enough. You don’t need any more than this to create a life that is happy, full and fulfilled.
Here are three things you can do to start turning your life in a different direction today:
Understand where your energy comes from:
Make a list of all the things that make you happy, smile, or laugh; these are the things that give you energy. They may be connected to individuals, locations, or activities. Let’s call this ‘List 1’.
Know the things that take your energy away:
Make a list of everything that makes you feel tired just thinking about it, individuals who make you feel tired when you see them, and duties at work that aren't challenging or motivating. Label this as ‘List 2’.
Ditch the drain:
Make an effort to avoid things or people that deplete your energy – what’s on your List 2 – and substitute items that do the opposite – what’s on your List 1. Know who you are, know what’s important to you and follow the opportunities that match these.
When you’re busy beyond belief and you allow FOMO to rule your world, you waste your time and energy chasing your tail. You morph and change to suit the people around you… and you become someone YOU don’t need.
It's time for FOMO to be put in its place. It’s time to do things the way that works for you. It’s time for you to turn yourself towards happiness so you can reap the rewards that come from finding the path that works for you.
If you want some help getting started, there are also loads of tips and more information in the articles and videos in my FREE email series. Simply click here to start you on your way.
Bronwen Sciortino is a Simplicity Expert, Professional Speaker and an internationally renowned author. You can follow her at her website; Facebook, Instagram, or LinkedIn. Read more from Bronwen!
Bronwen Sciortino, Senior Level Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Bronwen Sciortino is an International Author and Simplicity Expert who spent almost two decades as an award-winning executive before experiencing a life changing event that forced her to stop and ask the question ‘What if there’s a better way to live?’
Embarking on a journey to answer this question, Bronwen developed a whole new way of living – one that teaches you to challenge the status quo and include the power of questions in everyday life.
Gaining international critical acclaim and 5-star awards for her books and online programs, Bronwen spends every day teaching people that there is an easy, practical and simple pathway to creating a healthy, happy AND highly successful life.
Sourced globally for media comment as an expert and working with corporate programs, conference platforms, retreats, professional mentoring and in the online environment, Bronwen teaches people how easy it is to live life very differently.
