Written by: Diane Garzon, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
The decline in mental health is at an all-time high, and we have the power to change its trajectory. I struggled with fear, doubt, and insecurity almost my entire life, and I felt paralyzed. I could not make a decision if my life depended on it, and when I saw how my decline in mental health was affecting my children, I chose to make a change.
I made a list of everything that was causing me to feel weighed down, and I thoughtfully went through the list and sought out answers from friends and mentors to understand if it was a rational decision to let it go. I made big decisions, such as quitting a job I worked at for ten years. My work obligations as a skilled health educator in mental health changed during the pandemic, and my new role was no longer serving me. I developed a budget that worked for my family and me to allow this decision to feel more secure. I addressed relationship issues with a partner I had been dating for two years, and we both decided to take a break to focus on our children as we each came from divorced backgrounds.
Each time I let something go that was no longer serving me, the weight of the world I felt started to release as if I was an overinflated balloon. Consequently, the fog began to lift, and I felt more energy to power through my days.
My focus was to support my family during a transition. My daughter, a senior, was about to start applying to colleges. The pandemic had affected her ability to advocate for herself as a young adult through basic communication skills, an area where she had struggled since she was a toddler.
Being the strong and determined young woman she is, no one was stopping her from her thinking she was ready. My job as her mother was to set her up for success, and she didn't know what she didn't know. I had two kids go through the process, and the college transition in and of itself is challenging. Not being familiar with new surroundings and not having in-house support causes many students to feel unsettled.
As a health educator for mothers and families, the skills I had developed helped guide me to bring her up to speed with basic communication skills and embrace new transitions. Teaching her self-advocacy was my goal.
Since the pandemic forced us to stay home, and we were no longer in lockdown, my first idea was to provide engaging environments, and going out to dinner provided that for us. Once per week, I chose a new restaurant, despite pushback. In addition, I set up a new rule and asked not to have cell phones out at the dinner table. The new environment caused us to talk about the menu items and try things.
Having described myself as an introvert, I pushed myself out of my comfort zone, and I started sharing relatable stories about my childhood with my parents and sister, and I shared stories from their childhood. They loved this! I asked my children to share compliments to help teach empathy as this was lacking in my household and is still a work in progress. The communication exploded among my children, and my daughter's level of engagement increased at home and in her personal life.
My efforts to prepare my daughter for college helped me break free from fear, doubt, and insecurity. All it took was taking action and helping my children, who desperately needed an engaged mom. I continue to share stories with them, and our relationship has never been stronger. Their trust in me has increased, and since they feel unconditionally supported, they have felt more comfortable sharing anything troubling them.
We have the power to help empower and build confidence in our children, and I believe it comes from more engagement and teaching empathy.
Diane Garzon, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Diane Garzon, is a Wellness Coach specializing in Emotional Intelligence. After becoming a young mother at 24, being a first-generation college graduate, and deciding to dedicate her life to her family, Diane didn't allow herself the opportunity to determine who she was as an independent and autonomous individual. But, through many challenges, a divorce, and 4 kids later, Diane found her voice and discovered you can find true fulfillment by incorporating emotional intelligence in your everyday life. As a single mother who found her purpose, her mission is to dedicate her life to educating others on essential life skills to live a healthy, balanced lifestyle using an emotional intelligence focused approach.
