Written by: Paul Weeden, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
What do we mean by core values? Core values are principles that feel natural to use rather than values we have ingrained from others. They may feel authentic to you, even though they may not necessarily be easy to accept or like.
Have you ever paused to consider where your core values and beliefs about life have come from? It's an intriguing question that often leads us to introspect and assess whether our values are truly our own or merely reflections of external influences. In this article, we explore the factors that shape our values and the consequences of aligning with values that don't resonate with our authentic selves.
The power of influence
In our journey through life, we encounter diverse perspectives and ideologies that mould our understanding of the world. The surprising aspect is how people's reactions vary greatly between events, with some eliciting a minimal response, while others garner impassioned reactions. Are we all under a spell, or could it be that we allow ourselves to be swayed by the views of others without realising it, even as adults? This can show up as people-pleasing and confusion around our core values.
The influence of messages and views
Constant exposure to recurring messages and views can embed them deep within us, leading us to believe they are our genuine beliefs. As a result, we might find ourselves agreeing with common values that receive the most frequent and intense presentation. The consequences of this can be losing touch with our authentic self and our core values; even to the extent that we feel like we're going through the motions, for example, during lively talks with friends, not feeling as strongly about once-passionate topics.
If your core values clash with other beliefs, reflecting on their origins could reduce inner conflict, for instance, valuing both environmental protection and frugality, whilst having little or no awareness to help tidy up the local environment where we live. A more fitting example follows, considering the below environmental aspect.
The pitfalls of people-pleasing
People-pleasing is one such phenomenon that affects many of us. Although kindness and generosity are commendable traits, as core values. However, continually prioritising others' needs over our own can lead to internal stress and energy depletion. Moreover, we might end up compromising our authentic selves in the process. Reflecting on the origin of a core value could be beneficial, even if we acknowledge a tendency for people-pleasing. Individuals often lament, "I'm just like my mother, there's no choice," maybe to avoid deep contemplation if they were to fully embrace these beliefs.
Reclaiming our authenticity
To escape people-pleasing, building inner strength for challenges like asserting limits is vital. Grasping core values and their origin empowers us to handle situations more assuredly. We could reflect on this when we are buying a new car or mobile phone. Do our judgements and choices come from our authentic values, or are they what society and others tell us to think? Do we challenge these assumptions with data that offer a different perspective? Perhaps we could consider who benefits from our cultural assumptions.
To break free from the cycle of people-pleasing, it's essential to develop the inner resources to cope with challenges like saying no and setting boundaries. Understanding our core values and mission on various levels, including how we adopt and implement them in the first instance, allows us to navigate situations more confidently and responsibly.
Roles and responsibilities
A clear understanding of our role in a project is vital. Knowing when to switch roles and when to step back empowers value-aligned choices. Grasping others' roles and values prevents confusion, ensuring smooth teamwork. Increased self-awareness of how our core values affect projects or teams' bolsters project success. A clear vision of collective and personal goals ensures that we stay on track and avoid unnecessary distractions. Focusing on objectives that align with our core values leads to more purposeful and passionate work.
Equipping ourselves for success
Continuous self-development through research, learning, and networking enhances our abilities to make well-informed choices. Being well-prepared with reliable resources and expert advice enables us to face challenges head-on.
For further learning on this area around good mental health, you can find some simple and easy to follow advice in the article below.
See here.
Conclusion
In a world overflowing with diverse values and beliefs, it's essential to reflect and recognise the true origins of our values. By liberating ourselves from the influence of others and aligning with our authentic selves, we can experience greater well-being, personal growth, and meaningful achievements. Embracing our core values allows us to live life authentically with purpose and fulfilment, and to contribute genuinely to the world around us.
If you are struggling to find your core values or staying true to them is challenging, you may benefit from finding someone with experience in this area to support you.
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Paul Weeden, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Meet Paul K. Weeden, a holistic and integrative mental health therapist and coach and very excited to and honoured to be able to share and support the Brainz community. With 12 years of experience, he helps people overcome anxiety, depression, and achieve work-life balance. His journey involves self-development, exploring practices like meditation, yoga, martial arts, music, and sound, empowering countless individuals on their path to personal growth and well-being. With an MA in Music and Sonic Media and training in integrative psychotherapy and embodiment coaching, Paul takes a holistic view of healing. He combines mind, body, and soul to facilitate profound transformations in his clients' lives.
