Written by: Danielle Baron, Senior Level Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Behind the veil of success, a disturbing phenomenon often lurks: the abuse and sabotage of relationships when the woman involved is successful. This issue sheds light on a troubling dynamic that demands attention and understanding. In this informative magazine article, we delve deeper into the underlying reasons why some partners resort to abusive behaviours and relationship sabotage when confronted with a successful partner. By exploring the intricacies of this issue, we aim to bring awareness to the topic and foster a culture of respect and equality in relationships. It is important to emphasise that this perceived threat to masculinity is a result of societal conditioning and not a reflection of the woman's success. It is never acceptable and should never be condoned to blame a woman or man for their success. It is important to acknowledge that not all men fit into these categories, as there are also secure individuals who do not engage in abusive behaviour.
Traditional societal norms have long associated masculinity with power and control. When faced with a successful woman who challenges these norms, some men may perceive it as a threat to their own sense of power, dominance, and self-worth. Unable to reconcile their own insecurities, they may resort to abusive behaviour as a means to regain a sense of control and assert their dominance over their partner.
Abuse often stems from deep-seated insecurities and low self-esteem. Men who struggle with their own self-worth and feel inadequate compared to their successful partners may resort to abusive tactics as a way to diminish their partner's achievements and maintain a sense of superiority. Psychological abuse, constant put-downs, embarrassing and undermining their partner during social occasions, or sabotaging special days planned by their partner are just a few examples of how abuse can manifest. It is important to remember that abuse doesn't have to be physical; psychological abuse can be just as damaging.
Success and empowerment can challenge traditional gender roles, causing some men to fear emasculation and a loss of power in the relationship. The accomplishments of their partner might serve as a constant reminder of their own perceived inadequacies. Instead of being inspired, they may feel inhibited and threatened. In an attempt to regain a sense of control and reaffirm their masculinity, they may resort to abusive behaviours as a means of exerting power and dominance over their partner. It is crucial to recognize that true empowerment should never be seen as a threat but rather as an opportunity for growth and mutual support.
Abusive behaviour can also be rooted in a sense of entitlement and jealousy. Men who possess possessive tendencies may view their successful partners as their property rather than equal partners. Seeing their partner's success as a threat, they may become envious and resentful, leading to controlling and abusive behaviour aimed at diminishing their partner's achievements and maintaining control over their lives. In some cases, they may even seek out relationships with women they perceive as less successful to regain a sense of self-worth.
Abusive behaviour is often learned through socialisation and exposure to unhealthy relationship dynamics. Men who have witnessed or experienced abuse in their own upbringing, such as witnessing a father abusing their mother, may be more prone to perpetuating the cycle of abuse. Unaddressed trauma or learned patterns of behaviour can contribute to their propensity for abusive actions, particularly in relationships with successful women who challenge their established belief systems. Breaking this cycle requires addressing the root causes of abuse and providing support for both survivors of abuse and individuals who display abusive tendencies.
Abusive individuals often employ manipulation and control tactics to maintain power over their partners. In relationships with successful women, the abuser may use strategies such as gaslighting, isolating the woman from support networks, or undermining her confidence and achievements. By exerting control over her personal and professional life, they seek to maintain dominance and control within the relationship. Recognising these manipulation tactics is crucial in dismantling the cycle of abuse and providing support to those affected.
When a woman experiences abuse, she faces two potential paths to cope with her pain: internalising it, leading to anxiety, depression, and self-loathing, or expressing her distress through reactive behaviour, such as outbursts. Regrettably, these outbursts are frequently unfairly dismissed as "crazy," "irrational," "delusional," or "overly emotional." In truth, what she endures is psychological abuse, which transforms her into someone unrecognisable and detached from her own identity. The relentless exposure to abuse takes a toll, causing anxiety, depression, and impairments in various aspects of life, including work. Moreover, societal expectations often demand that women maintain multiple roles despite their mental health struggles. This additional pressure exacerbates their mental well-being issues and perpetuates the vicious cycle of abuse.
The abuse and sabotage of relationships when the woman involved is successful is a distressing reality that calls for awareness and action. It is crucial to recognise that abusive behaviour is never justified, regardless of the circumstances or the success of one partner. By understanding the underlying reasons behind such behaviour, society can work towards dismantling harmful gender norms, promoting healthy relationship dynamics, and providing support to both survivors of abuse and individuals who display abusive tendencies. Through education, open dialogue, and fostering a culture of respect and equality, we can strive towards healthier and safer relationships for all.
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Danielle Baron, Senior Level Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Danielle catalyses children and adults to rise like a phoenix from the flames 🔥 and to reach their optimum potential. She is an entrepreneur, inspiring 11+ and 7+ entrance exams tutor, rapid transformational therapist®️, business coach for overachievers, a life coach for all, and an NLP Master practitioner, and she is also certified by the ILM.
One of Danielle’s much-loved abilities is being an overachiever because she thrives on the excitement and follows her passion, which is to help people live fulfilling lives.
Over the last five years of her tuition business, Danielle has become extremely popular and respected in the tuition industry and is a mentor and coach to other tutors to help them increase revenue in their businesses, but ultimately to be the best tutors they can be. Her own tuition service incorporates coaching for parents and children throughout the exam process and NLP classes for children to help them with lack of confidence, bullying, and anxiety and to help them focus on the imminent goal of exams and to visualise and believe in their success.
Danielle’s second business, coaching and therapy, has been a long time coming and her personal interest in people and psychology led her to invest in the most high-quality courses to be the best for her clients. For her rapid transformational therapy ®️, she had the privilege of personally being mentored by Marisa Peer, a world-renowned therapist. Rapid transformational therapy is a combination of NLP, CBT, psychotherapy and hypnosis.
It has been Danielle’s personal experiences that have led her to where she is today. At age four, her father died of suicide, which installed in her a determination to help prevent people from ever becoming despaired again. Her best friend passed away at fifteen, which solidified Danielle’s determination to live life to the full. Growing up with a single parent, they struggled with money, but Danielle was very inspired by her mother’s work ethic, which had a huge impact on her.
As a teacher in some schools, the politics and bullying amongst staff were toxic and she suffered from depression, stress and burnout and was treated badly at her most vulnerable time of being pregnant and having a newborn and that’s why she’s passionate about helping teachers. She wishes that she had someone to help her at the time.
She has been through the journey of setting up successful businesses on her own while undertaking childcare as a single parent of two after she divorced and strongly believes anyone can achieve anything they put their mind to with grit, focus, and passion.
