Written by: Iva Perez, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
In the soft glow of holiday lights, there exists a silent corner, a space cloaked in anonymity, where mother tears fall as swiftly as snowflakes. Seeking solace in the confessional glow of a phone screen, Ana* is quietly texting a close friend to confide in her recently shed tears. Celebration and loneliness collide in her heart while she feels overwhelmed by her expectations crashing into reality.
Countless women and mothers secretly exchange messages of internal tribulations during the festivities with only a few being witness to the crumbling of the holiday veneer through these exchanges.
For numerous mothers, the true spirit of the season is found not in the laughter, but in the tears that accompany the sacred oath to make magic happen for their children's lasting memories.
As the tears fade, the holiday rush sweeps by, leaving women feeling caught off guard, with little time to pause, reset, or plan for the year ahead. Come January. A bittersweet aftertaste may linger, carrying a hint of diminished energy and motivation for pursuing new year goals and intentions.
Discovering how women can elevate themselves above the holiday chaos and welcome the new year as a catalyst for growth, success, and fulfillment in every aspect of their lives is key.
This article serves as a guide on how they can reclaim their harmony post-holiday season, using the first month of the year to reconnect with their passions, values, and aspirations. Mothers can empower themselves to make this year their most remarkable one yet.
The story of our lives
Many women internalize the belief that continuous hustle leads to success, yet success achieved at the expense of health and relationships is ultimately hollow. Placing greater emphasis on cultivating a resilient mindset and prioritizing personal well-being can significantly enhance one's journey toward achieving goals and resolutions.
However personal fulfillment and goal achievement for mothers is not possible unless there are shared domestic responsibilities where men step up too. Authors Alice H. Eagly and Linda L. Carli share a crucial revelation in their book "Through the Labyrinth": the ability of women to excel in all aspects of life hinges significantly on the active involvement of men in domestic responsibilities. Psychologist Darcy Lockman underscores the persistent burden on employed women partnered with employed men, who continue to shoulder 65 percent of the family's child-care responsibilities.
Women can benefit from discovering practical tips on how they can shift the weight of the motherload in their lives amidst the holiday frenzy and the impending New Year so that they can feel supported in their pursuit of goals and resolutions.
By setting up boundaries around the mental load, women can reclaim their time, and energy, and ultimately find fulfillment in both their roles as mothers and individuals.
The ‘problem’ is not the real problem
Many women and mothers aim to lead lives infused with freedom, fulfillment, and happiness, often translating these emotional goals into tangible resolutions at the start of the year.
It's time to dispel the myth that a) changing external circumstances is the cure for emotional struggles – be it jobs, relocations, or financial gains; and b) achieving goals leads to ultimate life joy. Many life milestones, like childbirth for example, often bring new sets of challenges. Once someone has given birth, for example, there are new situations to contend with such as colicky baby or teething stages.
Instead, true freedom and happiness stem from mastering our emotional states. As we approach the New Year, merely pushing harder to achieve goals might not be the answer to thriving in life.
Most people set intentions and resolutions because they believe that achieving them will bring them happiness.
Or some other positive emotional state.
But therein lies the problem: what we want is a feeling, but our mind is telling us that a thing (or reaching a goal) will give us that feeling.
Unfortunately, no amount of external action or achievements can compensate for internal misalignment.
In the pursuit of thriving in the coming year, women can benefit from focusing on the emotional essence of their resolutions and intentions. The key lies in understanding one's genuine desires and aspirations.
This sets the stage for a paradigm shift — stop the external frenzy for a moment and ask what you really want and why you want it.
Setting the groundwork for embracing the new year with renewed energy
Amidst our hectic lives as modern women, wouldn’t it make sense to be fiercely intentional about pursuing the goals that truly matter to us?
Here is an invitation to shift focus, and redirect energy with this quick experiment:
Imagine you could be permanently happy as of right now, but you would never achieve your most cherished goal or desire.
I.e., the thing you think you need to feel fulfilled, happy, and free? For example, you’ll be unconditionally happy and fulfilled but you will never get to be your ideal weight/size, or live in your dream home, or whatever you “need” to feel all these feelings.
Feeling free, fulfilled, satisfied, happy, joyful, or any other positive emotional state, is not tied to any external thing.
If instead, you feel you don’t want to be unconditionally happy and fulfilled because you want to be happy and fulfilled with the thing you want, then societal conditioning might be at work.
Just like we have been conditioned to believe that hard work is the key to success, or that our worth is based on our ability to fulfill every expectation placed upon us, it’s time to shatter the notion that we can’t be truly happy or fulfilled if our lives are not exactly as we want them to be.
What if we were not tirelessly seeking external goals and achievements to be able to enjoy profound shifts in how we feel?
New year resolutions done right
The idea is not to become passive and indifferent to the events in life. Making decisions and taking action are essential aspects of navigating life's challenges and achieving goals.
However, what tends to create resistance for women when truly going after their goals and resolutions is two-fold:
Self-sabotage
In the journey of motherhood, there is a razor-thin line where unconditional love meets societal expectations. Work, family, and personal aspirations can quickly turn into a web in which many women find themselves entangled taking a toll on their well-being. It can also lead to feelings of overwhelm, guilt, and shame when mothers consider taking time for self-care or pursuing their own goals and resolutions. These feelings are often rooted in subconscious beliefs about what it means to be a "good mother" and the fear of negative evaluation by society. Mothers need to recognize the value they bring beyond their roles as caretakers. Our worth extends far beyond our ability to multitask or fulfill every expectation placed upon us.
Women deserve personal growth amidst their busy lives. By aligning their goals, resolutions, and intentions to their true values. This translates into knowing what they really want and why they want it, they can create space for themselves – embracing their passions, dreams, and goals alongside their maternal duties.
Looping thoughts
Pointless repetitive thinking is often influenced by negative emotions and faulty, core beliefs. For example, many women tend to believe, whether consciously or subconsciously, that life inherently involves effort and struggle, where rewards only come through hard work.
This is the common scenario for many, who knowing what they want and what needs to be done to get there, still haven’t made much progress in making it a reality. Many lifelong struggles stem from the perception that problems surround us constantly. Our subconscious mind has internalized that it can’t be easy to achieve what we want.
This is why internal alignment, rather than ceaseless external efforts, is the true key to getting in the fast lane of goal achievement but also to lasting well-being.
The internal alignment must happen at the subconscious level, because the subconscious mind plays a crucial role in shaping our beliefs and behaviors, and for mothers, it can be a powerful tool for transforming outdated and limiting beliefs that may interfere with their ability to prioritize themselves and or achieve their goals with ease and fulfillment.
Updated and powerful new beliefs are the cornerstone in which women can approach the new year by designing new habits that prioritize both short-term goals and overall well-being, fostering resilience through life's twists and turns.
Hence the importance of updating limiting beliefs to catalyze personal growth in the achievement of goals and resolutions, but also in fostering well-being, self-care, and cultivating a positive mindset towards stress.
Give me fast & rapid, stat
Even though the notion of time is an emotional experience, busy women would rather favor a rapid proposal to changing core beliefs that leads to fostering a positive emotional state in the present, laying the foundation for a life of freedom, happiness, and fulfilment.
True internal alignment is a gateway to a genuinely fulfilled life.
In a challenging world that glorifies ceaseless hustle, this article encourages readers to pause, advocating for a moment of introspection to clarify personal desires and motivations. This call for a strategic pause in the new year serves a dual purpose – to rest our nervous system and align our internal desires and priorities with our goals and intentions, fostering a deeper connection to our true selves.
Happiness and fulfillment are not an elusive reward, dependent on external factors or monumental achievements. Rather these states can be chosen at any time as a transformative power that allows women to share their significant contributions to the world.
There is a Rapid Transformational tool for creating a pause, resetting subconscious beliefs, and paving the way for an empowered pursuit of intentions, goals, and New Year’s resolutions.
Internal alignment through updated beliefs can help women toward personal growth allowing them to flourish, thrive, and fall in love with their lives.
Mothers and women can truly benefit by addressing and transforming limiting beliefs from a Rapid Transformational approach that acts as a catalyst for change, reprogramming the subconscious mind with a remarkable precision that aligns 95% of their cognitive powerhouse with their goals.
This Rapid Transformational roadmap helps them achieve goals faster, leveraging the power of a fully aligned subconscious mind with powerful updated beliefs that pave the way for an empowered pursuit of intentions, goals, and New Year’s resolutions.
This innovative approach offers mothers a pathway to break free from guilt, shame, and overwhelm, ultimately boosting personal growth and fostering well-being and self-care, while cultivating a positive mindset towards stress.
A mindset that helps mothers believe in their ability to achieve any resolution or goal they desire so they can gather strength, dust off any lingering holiday weariness, and embark on a journey of growth and success in 2024.
Let's set the stage for a new year filled with happiness, fulfilment, and freedom and rekindle that inner fire that once burned bright.
Tap into unwavering self-love this coming year.
Take time each day to reflect on your priorities, release unnecessary pressures, and celebrate the small victories. Remember, there is an endless reservoir of strength and resilience within all of us ready to be activated.
You are more than enough, dear Mama. Here is to a happy and thriving 2024.
Iva Perez, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Iva Perez is on a mission to help 1,000 women and entrepreneurs achieve higher levels of success, confidence and freedom. She has successfully merged 20 years of corporate experience with her studies on the Science of the Mind into her role as a Licensed Transformational Hypnotherapist and is endorsed by UK’s No. 1 Therapist, Marisa Peer. She helps women and entrepreneurs drop the overwhelm and anxiety and, instead, create new subconscious beliefs to facilitate powerful transformations. This way, mothers can successfully navigate the overlap between work and family life. Iva is the co-host of the Top Ranked podcast, Mom Bosses Abroad as well as an avid speed reader and matcha evangelist.
