Lisa Hansen offers a truly unique style of Mindset Coaching that powerfully blends Spiritual practices, Manifestation teachings, Somatic Release techniques, and practical Life Coaching skills. She has helped hundreds of clients feel empowered to manifest the lives they dream about.
Imagine you have all these wonderful goals. You want to lose 15 pounds. You want to get in shape. You’d like to get a new job. You’d like to attract a partner. You feel all excited and tell all your friends. Now imagine a few weeks go by and you haven’t done anything to bring you closer to your goals at all. You find all sorts of excuses, but deep down you feel utterly confused. You beat yourself up, saying things like “What’s wrong with me?”
The problem is you feel stuck, so you are stuck. So you don’t do anything, leading to feeling like a failure, guilt and shame. Whereas your worth is definitely not tied to achievements, learning how to get unstuck will enhance the quality of your life and bring forth a sense of pride and fulfillment.
Self-discipline
I used to hate and resist this word. That is until I changed my definition around it. My old definition was harsh, strict, and controlling. This was due to the voice of my inner critic, whose language was full of have-to’s, shoulds, and shouldn’ts. It was all about forcing myself to do something I didn’t want to do.
Then one day I decided to change my perspective. My new definition is: Letting my future-self win more often. You see, without understanding the concept of future-self, I was blind to how what I did in my present was affecting my future. I was mistakenly viewing self-discipline as control, not opportunity.
Future-self
This is where using your imagination to reach your goals helps you get unstuck. The practice involves writing out everything you want to see happen in your life 3, 6, or 12 months from now. Get very clear and include as many details as you can. It can include weighing 15 pounds lighter, starting your business, lifting heavier weights, or buying a new home. Ask yourself questions such as: What does my future-self want and desire? What will my present-self have to be willing to give up or pass on in order to give my future self what she really wants? Am I willing to do that or not? If the answer is no, that’s ok too! Perhaps you need to let that goal go or delay it. This frees up your energy to focus on the things you really do want to create instead.
When you give yourself permission to let it go for now, you cut the cords to shame, guilt, and beating yourself up over it. Simply release it, and trust if its meant to be, it will come back.
When the time comes to work on your goal, it’s time to let your future-self win. For example, if your future-self wants to eat healthy food, record a podcast episode, or go to the gym to lift
weights, but your present self wants to eat fries, watch Netflix, or go to Target instead and you give in, you have just let your present-self win. This loop will keep you trapped in feeling stuck and never reaching your goals. If you’re not letting your future-self win enough, you will remain stuck.
Learning self-talk such as “Of course we don't feel like doing it, but we are going to do it anyway because 3 months from now, we will be lighter and feel proud.” Give yourself a pep talk. Notice how I used “we” in this example. That’s intentional because you are talking to the committee of inner subconscious parts within you consisting of the inner critic, the inner child, the procrastinator, the saboteur, and anyone else in there keeping you stuck.
Motivation
Many people are waiting around for motivation to just show up. And they mistake its absence as a reason to not take action. If you are feeling stuck, you most likely are waiting for motivation to magically appear. But did you know motivation is created by your thoughts?
I love it when motivation shows up, but don’t wait around for it. Motivation typically shows up at some point, but it’s wavering and unpredictable. Choose to start on your goal anyway, without motivation. Trust it will show up along the way once you begin taking aligned action.
So many of my clients tell me they don’t feel motivated or aren’t feeling inspired. Again, this is where self-talk is useful. Learn to tell yourself “Of course we don’t feel like doing it, but we're going to anyway because our future-self will be so happy when this goal is reached.” It’s like taking your kid to the dentist. They might fight you, whine about it, and throw a fit about going, but you talk to them and soothe them by reminding them why it’s important. And we take them anyway, even when they are throwing a fit. Don’t give into the demands of your present-self. Don’t believe the lie it tells you that you need to feel motivated first. Gently remind yourself “We are just going to get started and the good news is along the way there’s a good chance motivation will show up.”
Confidence
“I just want to be more confident about this goal,” is what I hear the most from clients in my coaching practice. People always ask how they can feel more confident. You don’t. You just move forward anyway. Just like motivation, if you wait for confidence to show up before taking action, you will stay stuck.
People often mistake confidence as a noun. But it is a feeling that comes from the thought belief that “I am really good at this.” The problem is you aren’t good at it because you’ve been stuck in not trying! It’s a much better use of your time and energy to believe “I’m not good at this, but if I keep going, one day I might become very good at it”. See how that takes the pressure off? Let yourself not be good at something and do it anyway. Letting go of perfectionism and the pressure of thinking you should be motivated and you should be confident is the path to getting unstuck. Don’t fail ahead of time by not even trying.
I love to refer to the 4 C’s by Dan Sullivan: Commitment, Courage, Capability, and Confidence. Notice how confidence is last! Whenever we are working on something, no matter if it's a career goal, weight loss goal, or to run a 5K, the first step is to commit. Decide you are going to go for it. Next comes courage. You need courage to begin stepping outside your comfort zone and take some aligned steps. Once you get going, capability shows up. You now have some evidence that you are capable of doing what it takes to reach your goal. Then good ole’ confidence shows up at last. You now feel confident because you have gotten good at it. You now have proof. If you truly have a desire to get unstuck, grasp this concept and put it on a sticky note everywhere!
Since commitment is the first step to reaching any goal, let’s discuss this further.
Commitment
Commitment is also a feeling generated by our thoughts. And the one simple sentence that creates it is “No matter what.”
I will do this thing no matter what.
I will follow through no matter what.
I will do the hard things even when it feels hard or I don’t feel like it no matter what. I will show up no matter what.
Put these thoughts on sticky notes too! We all need daily reminders when making the decision to think on purpose. Mindset work is like dust. If you don’t pay attention to dust, it piles up, affecting your physical health. You need to clean regularly and keep up with it, or suffer the consequences. In the same way, if you don’t stay on top of your mindset, your thoughts will revert back to negativity and you will suffer. Adopting the self-discipline of “No matter what” will help get you unstuck and stay unstuck. You will be able to manifest everything you’ve always wanted and live a fulfilling life.
Make the decision today
Decide you going to get unstuck by implementing these practices. If you are habitually stuck or have been stuck for a long time, you may want to do more research online. There are also many amazing books on this topic. Or hire a good coach, counselor, or therapist. Your future-self will thank you.
Feeling like you can’t get unstuck? Book a free session (https://lisahansencoaching.as.me/) with Lisa today to identify your patterns and tame your inner critic.
Read more from Lisa Hansen
Lisa Hansen, Life Coach, Conscious Parenting Coach & Spiritual Mentor
Lisa Hansen has over 20 years of experience as a Life and Mindset Coach, Conscious Parenting Coach, and Spiritual Mentor. She believes anyone is capable of manifesting the life they truly want to be living, whether it’s to feel a greater sense of purpose, earn more money, improve their relationships, or become a more peaceful parent. Her passion is empowering women to live confidently, intuitively, and authentically. She helps her clients shed self-limiting beliefs, end self-sabotage, overcome their inner critic, and transform their lives into one full of self-love, self-acceptance, and empowerment.
