Emily Evans Russell is a single mom, 6-figure business owner, and an Intuitive Life Coach & Breathwork Facilitator. She helps people regulate their nervous systems so that they can amplify their gifts and fall in love with the flow of life again. Emily brings mastery in trauma-informed breathwork, somatic practices, and energy healing to create profound transformation.
How many times have you found yourself caught in the endless loop of “Should I?” questions? Should I take this new job? Should I end this relationship? Should I invest in that program? While it’s natural to ask these kinds of questions when making decisions, “Should I?” questions often leave us feeling stuck, uncertain, and disconnected from our intuition. The truth is, they’re like trying to open a lock with the wrong key: frustrating, circular, and ultimately ineffective.
What if, instead, you reframed how you approach decision-making? By learning to ask better questions, you can unlock the doors to your intuition, wisdom, and creativity. Let’s explore why “Should I” questions rarely lead to clarity and how you can use empowering alternatives to make decisions with greater confidence and ease.
Why “Should I” questions keep you stuck
The problem with “Should I” questions is that they’re rooted in the desire for a right or wrong answer. They imply that there’s a singular correct path and that everything else leads to failure or regret. But life rarely works in absolutes. As humans, we grow from all kinds of experiences—both the joyful and the challenging.
Take this example: You’re considering a new job opportunity. When you ask, “Should I take this job?” you’re essentially outsourcing your power to an external source (whether it’s a friend, a pros-and-cons list, or the universe). This type of question doesn’t allow room for nuance, creativity, or the possibility that there could be multiple paths that serve your growth in different ways.
The result? Paralysis. You end up spinning your wheels, second-guessing yourself, or worse, making a decision based on fear or obligation rather than alignment.
Reframing questions: Keys to unlock your intuition
If “Should I” questions act like a lock that keeps your intuition hidden, then reframing your questions can be the key to unlocking it. Instead of seeking a yes-or-no answer, try asking questions that invite clarity, curiosity, and deeper self-awareness. Think of these questions as tools to engage your inner wisdom and open doors to new perspectives.
Here’s how to start:
1. Shift from “should” to “what” or “how”
Instead of asking, “Should I take this job?” try asking, “What would feel most aligned with my long-term vision?” or “How would taking this job support my personal growth?” These questions expand the conversation beyond right and wrong, inviting your intuition to weigh in.
2. Ask open-ended questions
Open-ended questions create space for exploration. For example: “What am I hoping to gain from this decision?” or “What else is possible that I haven’t considered?” These types of questions encourage creativity and allow unexpected insights to surface.
3. Engage your intuition with “yes or no” clarity
While “Should I” questions can feel heavy, rephrased yes-or-no questions can provide intuitive clarity. For example: “Would taking this job feel expansive or contractive?” or “Is there an unseen opportunity in saying yes to this path?” Notice how your body reacts or the subtle feelings that arise when you ask these questions.
4. Focus on the greatest possible outcome
One powerful way to reframe is to ask, “What is the greatest possible outcome in this situation?” This type of question shifts your perspective from doubt and fear to curiosity and hope. It helps you focus on potential rather than limitations.
Practical ways to play with better questions
To make this practice tangible, here are a few scenarios and examples of how to reframe your questions:
Scenario 1: Considering a career change
Instead of: “Should I quit my job?”
Ask: “What’s missing in my current role that I truly value?”
Or: “How can I create more alignment in my work life, whether it’s here or somewhere new?”
Scenario 2: Navigating relationships
Instead of: “Should I stay in this relationship?”
Ask: “What do I need to feel fulfilled and supported in this relationship?”
Or: “What lessons is this relationship teaching me right now?”
Scenario 3: Making a big investment
Instead of: “Should I spend money on this course?”
Ask: “How will this investment contribute to my long-term growth?”
Or: “What shifts could this experience create in my life?”
Trusting the answers: How to receive guidance
Asking better questions is just the first step. The next key is learning to receive the answers. Remember, your intuition often speaks in whispers, not shouts. It might show up as a gut feeling, a subtle nudge, or a sense of ease or tension in your body.
Here are a few tips for tuning in:
Pause and listen: After asking a question, take a moment to sit quietly. Notice any physical sensations, emotions, or thoughts that arise.
Journal your insights: Writing down your questions and the responses you sense can help you connect the dots and spot patterns over time.
Experiment and reflect: Treat decision-making as an experiment. Try taking a small step in one direction and notice how it feels. Your body and intuition will give you feedback.
Conclusion: Step into your power
The next time you find yourself wrestling with a “Should I?” question, remember: You have the keys to unlock your intuition, wisdom, and creativity. By asking better questions, you open doors to clarity and empowerment, transforming decision-making into a process of self-discovery rather than self-doubt.
So, what’s one question you can reframe today? What’s waiting on the other side of the door you’re about to unlock?
Ready to explore more tools for clarity and intuition? Join my free masterclass, ‘Bounce Back Babe Blueprint,’ or check out my Energy Elixir Daily program to start creating a life that feels aligned and effortless.
Emily Evans Russell, Intuitive Life Coach & Breathwork Facilitator
Emily Evans Russell is a single mom, 6-figure business owner, and an Intuitive Life Coach & Breathwork Facilitator. She helps people regulate their nervous systems so that they can amplify their gifts and fall in love with the flow of life again. Emily brings mastery in trauma-informed breathwork, somatic practices, and energy healing to create profound transformation. She holds her master's degree in teaching and has trained in breathwork, hypnotherapy, reiki, and yoga. She has also been a facilitator of seminars around the world in consciousness, energy and mindset for over 10 years.
