Written by: Ciara Banerji, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
When I was little, my father gave me some advice. He said, “just focus on beating the boys, Ciara.” With all good intentions, he meant that if I was able to beat the boys — at sport, at school, at games — then I’d already have passed the girls by too.
That sentiment might seem shocking to us today, but it’s actually still a common belief for many successful women - and men - that I meet in the corporate world. Sometimes it’s conscious, but more often than not, it’s unconscious.
How these beliefs manifest.
These beliefs manifest in the way we adapt ourselves to look, to think, and to behave in the world of work, taking on more masculine traits that we believe are the ones needed to be successful as leaders - competitiveness, pushing, driving results before people, pragmatism, emotional repression, black or white decision-making.
Of course, these can all be helpful qualities when used appropriately, but in the corporate world, long-dominated by men, they have tended to be promoted to the exclusion of other, feminine qualities that are equally valuable. Those like empathy, listening, nurturing, emotional expression, cooperation, and non-linear decision-making.
For many professional women, having to essentially hide these aspects of themselves, to be other than who they are, is a great source of stress. Particularly when they find themselves expected or need to shift back and forth between work and home life. It can lead to burnout, disconnection with their purpose, and a sense of unfulfillment.
Venus is rising in the workplace.
Thankfully, the world is changing. It is now widely recognized that teams thrive under authentic female leaders.
Not only are more women able to be genuinely themselves and perform superbly as leaders and role models — I’m thinking of people like Jacinta Adern, New Zealand’s PM, or someone like Michelle Obama. But also, more men recognize the need to bring these qualities into their own leadership styles.
However, reality can take time to catch up, particularly when it is underpinned by beliefs that may have been programmed into us as children.
One of the ways I work with professional women — and indeed men — is to uncover the roots of some of these problematic, limiting beliefs. Once identified, using a mixture of positive psychology and NLP techniques, I can help shift those beliefs and re-build confidence in a much more authentic self: the self that has huge, untapped power available by letting these natural feminine qualities bloom.
Take your first step now.
Are you ready to reflect on your own limiting beliefs around being a woman today? If so, let’s do it! Once you identify and shift those beliefs, you will be able to step more powerfully into your authentic leadership self.
Activity
Read through this entirely first, then do the activity.
Sit in a quiet space with no distractions and take 3 deep breaths in, releasing any tension as you exhale.
Close your eyes and allow yourself to go back to your childhood. Watch the images float around in your mind and ask yourself - how did I feel about being a girl? What stories did I pick up about being a girl versus a boy? Stay present and connect to what your higher self is telling you for a little while.
Open your eyes when you feel it is the right time.
Once you have opened your eyes, spend a few minutes writing down any phrases that came to you about being a girl, how it has shaped you, what you observed, what you concluded as a child, and the experiences you were shown during that visualization.
Now decide which of those stories running are still true for you and unhelpful to your progress and growth. Re-write and re-program those beliefs by writing down the new blueprint for yourself to view the feminine from today forward. Record and listen each morning and night to yourself speaking your new blueprint until you feel the shifts or what it brings to your life.
Experiencing your authentic self.
For many women, finally stepping out in their female power comes as a huge relief — once they know how to be true to themselves, the confidence that brings leads to much greater things in their career and more harmony in life as a whole. It gives women the ability to build and build rather than build and burn.
In fact, many of my male clients have surprised themselves with bigger wins, more motivated teams, and a happier home once they realized that showing some vulnerability, people-centric leadership, or being more fluid in their gameplans can pay dividends as a leader.
So, be mindful of what you tell young girls.
I tell my daughter, “the longest relationship you have in life is with yourself, so stay connected to who you are and focus on being the best you that you can be.”
What program are you projecting on to the next generation?
Ciara Banerji, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Ciara is an accomplished mindset and peak performance coach, working with professionals and corporate leaders on a global basis to deliver transformational growth.
Ciara's mission is to see people THRIVE and not just survive. She believes that people can reach their full potential in a way that promotes their mental stability and their happiness.
Ciara is the Director of Liston Ferry Partnership Ltd, a company leading in the field of successful professional, personal and corporate transformations.
Ciara coaches ambitious professionals and entrepreneurs to identify beliefs that are holding them back and permanently shift them, unlocking their strategies for change and propelling them to action.
She also works with forward-thinking Corporations to put in place programmes to support more women to reach the top and to improve mindfulness throughout the workplace.
Ciara draws on her Psychotherapy and Neuro-linguistic Programming training in her coaching practice, on top of her personal experience as a corporate high-flier turned business owner, wife, and mum!
